New Beginning

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Neither this story nor any parts of it may be distributed electronically or in any other manner without this header and without the express, written consent of the author (Paul - yvonneva@hotmail.com). Copyright 2006.

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A New Beginning - Chapter 18

******** Trevor's view ********

I awoke to hands running deliciously over my body. After revelling in the feeling for a few minutes I turned to face my love and realised with a start that it wasn't Paul. Then I remembered last night and the wonderful time we'd had with Geoff. I guess Paul must have got up early and left us sleeping, although something nagged at me a little when I thought back to last night. Before I could work out what it was I got distracted by Geoff's hand cupping my balls, something that turns me on big time. I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, barely able to breathe as he ran his other hand down my abs.

I can't really explain why his eyes have such an effect on me. Any blue-grey eyes with dark rim to the iris affect me dramatically, but coupled with a body like Geoff's which is straight out of my wildest fantasies, I just can't help losing control of myself. When trapped in his eyes every sensation is heightened, every touch is more intense. As he held me with his eyes Geoff wrapped his fist around my dick, stroking slowly while moving his other hand slowly over my balls. I felt like I was on fire, and every place he had touched since I awoke burned with after-images of his caresses.

Carefully keeping eye contact with me he started to kiss his way down my stomach then up the underside of my aching erection. I saw him grin just before he took the head into his mouth, enveloping me with warmth and working me with his tongue. As he took me deep into his mouth I groaned and saw him wink just before I closed my eyes with the intensity of what I was feeling. I felt him moving on the bed and when I opened my eyes he was positioning that huge dick of his in front of my face. I ran my hands over his abdominals, feeling every ridge and valley, and feeling him shudder as I did so. I then wrapped my fist around his dick and, like last night, marvelled as I moved the foreskin back and forth over the head. It was so nice sharing this last night with Paul and it was a shame that he wasn't here now, but maybe he'd come back to bed and join us again soon?

After I'd watched the foreskin with fascination for a while Geoff nudged his dick forward towards my mouth, giving me the hint that he was wanting a little more than just a hand. I gently took his head, covered by his foreskin, into my mouth then used my hand to pull the foreskin back. I ran my tongue around the ridge of the head as it was exposed, getting a loud groan from Geoff as I did so. He pumped his hips and I tried to take as much of him into my mouth as I could, gagging when he hit the back of my throat. I'd never experienced a dick as large as this before and I had doubts about my ability to take it all, but I decided to give it a good try.

I backed off and took a deep breath then started to slide him in, trying to loosen my throat and convince myself not to gag. My time with Bryan had given me some experience with stopping my gag reflex (he was a good size too, although not in the same league as Geoff) but my body was having difficulties coping with the sheer size of the baton being forced down my throat.

Eventually I surprised myself and found Geoff's balls sitting on my nose, his full length buried completely into me. I backed off and took another deep breath, taking him back into my throat completely in one smooth motion.

I reached up and started to stroke his balls, running my other hand over his abdominals. I felt his moan through my own dick, reminding me that throughout this Geoff had been working hard on my piece as well. I discovered to my surprise that I was nearly ready to cum. I'd been so wrapped up in working on Geoff that I'd missed most of the pleasure he'd been giving me, only reminding me when he moaned and I felt it from his throat. As I felt my balls draw up I backed off Geoff and warned him that I was about to cum. I wrapped my hand around him and kept my hand stroking up and down his dick as I gave in to my orgasm and shot into his mouth. As he swallowed, his throat convulsed around me, sending even more waves of pleasure through me. By the time I was finished I was gasping for air, still managing to keep my hand moving on Geoff to give him pleasure.

Once I'd regained my breath I took him back into my throat, determined to give him as much pleasure as he'd given me. He started pumping his hips to push himself further and further into my throat, almost bruising me with the brutality of his assault. He groaned loudly and I felt his balls pull up under my hand. I brushed my fingers backwards from his balls across that sensitive area to his rosebud and Geoff yelled in ecstasy. I felt the massive meat in my mouth swell and I quickly pushed on his hips, backing him out of my mouth so I didn't choke. I wrapped my hand around him and stroked hard, licking his balls at the same time and returning to stroking his rosebud. He started to shudder and I felt his cum splatter on my chest and stomach. He seemed to go for so long, pumping into my hand and moaning as I worked to stimulate him as much as possible.

Eventually he started to collapse on me, then rolled off as he realised I wouldn't be able to breath. We lay there side by side, his head beside my legs and mine beside his, both basking in the afterglow of our orgasms. That was just so damn satisfying, although I wished that Paul were here with us. I wondered where he was. After a short recovery Geoff shifted so that we were facing the same direction and snuggled up against my side with his back towards me. I lay there feeling Geoff's cum drying on my chest, my mind wandering randomly over what just happened and the fun of last night. Then the niggling worry I had had since just after I awoke coalesced into a memory.

"Holy Fuck." I said as I sat upright in the bed. "Paul went home last night while we were involved didn't he?"

"We were somewhat distracted at the time!" said Geoff with a chuckle, "I don't know why he left. He just never seemed to be able to get into it, so I guess he decided it was time to go. We were enjoying ourselves so much I was barely aware of him leaving."

"Fuck! What have I done?" I swore, feeling almost sick to my stomach. "How the hell did I let this happen?"

"I'm sure it'll be fine. He must have decided he wasn't comfortable with it, that's all. I guess we just got carried away and didn't notice. Just give him some time and he'll be fine, you'll see."

"You really think so?"

"I know it sounds a bit brutal, but he must be used to rejection mustn't he?

I was surprised that he went for the idea of the three of us as he doesn't seem to have that level of confidence. I thought you guys were joking when you told me. He hasn't exactly got the looks to stop traffic and even with his clothes on I could see he was carrying some extra baggage. I'm surprised you hang around with him to be honest. With your looks you could have anyone you want.

"Looks aren't everything you know?" I said angrily. "If you got to know Paul you'd see why I love him. He's been through a lot recently. You've got no right to judge him like that!" I could hear my voice rising as I was speaking.

"Calm down" Geoff said with a laugh, "You know what I mean. He was lucky to be with someone like you. You can aim a lot higher than that and you know it. I didn't mean to offend, just telling it like it is."

I sat there a little dumbfounded, trying to understand Geoff's arrogance and negativity towards Paul.

"Look, why don't you go in for a shower?" he said, his voice dropping to a gentle tone. "Once you're nice and relaxed and have had time to think about it you'll know I'm right."

He took my hand and led me to the bathroom, gently pushing me through the door. He got a towel out of the linen cupboard for me and hung it on the towel rail outside the shower.

"Now you enjoy your shower and I'll go get us some more traditional breakfast." he said, with laugh and a leer at my dick before he closed the door.

I started the shower and waited for it to warm up. Stepping into the shower was such a relief. I wasn't going to admit it to Geoff but I was aching badly in all sorts of places this morning, courtesy of a certain amount of gymnastics last night and the size and speed of his entry into me. As I let the water flow over me and the heat soak through me I thought back to what happened last night.

I remembered us both working on Geoff, fascinated by that huge uncut dick. It was so hot playing with it, watching that foreskin roll so effortlessly over the head. Then Paul was stroking both Geoff and I, while I stroked him. One of the last things I remember clearly was kissing my way up Geoff's stomach and chest, then kissing him. With Paul stroking my dick I felt so damn turned on that when he told me to open my eyes and I looked straight into Geoff's I just lost it, experiencing an orgasm that just seemed to go on and on. It was incredible being lost in those eyes and cumming that hard. Even thinking about it now had me standing in the shower as hard as a rock. What an absolute rush.

The next thing I remember was being naked on the bed and Geoff lining up to enter me. That monster was so big that I started to worry (Paul called it a monster at one point last night and the name definitely did fit), then I was lost in those eyes of his again and I couldn't seem to say no. I remember feeling him start to enter me and it was every bit as big as I expected. Even with the size of his head it still felt great, reminding me just how much I'd been missing that feeling since Bryan left. Then by God it hurt when he pushed into me, barely allowing me any time to adjust to his size. He finally stopped and I started to relax as I thought he was all the way in, until with a final jab he bottomed out and had had me nearly screaming. For a moment I thought he'd done it deliberately, just to cause me pain, but then I looked into those damned eyes and I melted again.

Once he started pumping into me the pain diminished and I remembered just what it was like to be fucked, that indescribable feeling of fullness and the pleasure derived from every little bump and ridge on the piece inside me. It had been too damn long since the last time, and I'd never experienced anything as big as this. After I relaxed it felt wonderful though and I started to really relax and enjoy myself. I tightened my ring around that massive meat and saw Geoff's body quiver a little, only visible because I was watching for it. It didn't affect his rhythm at all but I could see in his face and a slight widening of his eyes that he enjoyed the unexpected increase in stimulation.

I managed to tear my eyes away from Geoff's and looked down that beautiful body of his. Watching his pecs flex and his abdominals contract in time with the sensations in my arse was fantastic. He had a hell of a body and knew exactly how to use it to the best advantage, but even with the pleasure I was feeling I still regretted that it wasn't Paul inside me as I so wanted to experience with him that wonderful shared pleasure. As movement over Geoff's shoulder attracted my attention, I was surprised to see that it was Paul standing there watching Geoff and I. Why he wasn't joining in I wasn't sure but I did so wish it was him inside me instead of Geoff.

Then it dawned on me that Paul was standing at the door, about to leave. I started to say something when Geoff changed position slightly and he hit my joy button hard. Oh God, the feeling was so intense, sending waves of pleasure radiating through my body. With his next thrust he hit it again, and then again. The feeling was incredible and I got wrapped right up in it, losing track of everything except the exquisite sensations as Geoff pushed me to an orgasm without either of us even touching my dick. To call it intense just would not be accurate. It was explosive, particularly as my prostate was being hit repeatedly as I was cumming.

Geoff just kept on pounding into me with a staying power I found amazing. By the time he started speeding up I was rock hard again and ready for more.

His body had a sheen of sweat, which I found incredibly sexy, and it increased as he rammed home harder and harder into my arse. Almost mesmerised by watching his abs flex as he thrust into me, I managed to drag my eyes back to his face and watched as his breath started to labour as he approached the point of no return. I grabbed hold of my dick and started jerking it, watching his face intently. I could see the intensity building in his eyes as he started to lose it. He started to pile drive that monster into me, teetering on the edge of his orgasm. I held my breath and clamped my ring down on his dick to increase the sensations. His eyes widened in surprise and with a final thrust his body went rigid as he found his release. I could feel him spasm inside of me, literally feeling the condom ballooning as it struggled to hold his load. As those incredible eyes of his lost focus the constant pounding on my prostate, his spasms inside of me and my frantic jerking pushed me with him and I came for the third time tonight.

It seemed to go on forever.

With a start I came back to myself as I started to cum. I was standing in the shower reliving last night's events and somewhere along the line I had started jerking myself in time with my memories. Just the memories of last night were enough to make this orgasm intense, despite the action Geoff and I had on the bed a half hour ago. I leaned against the wall of the shower and tried to recover, having no idea how long I'd been in the shower but I figuring I needed to get out of here soon before Geoff came in to check on me. I hurriedly washed myself, being rather careful of my somewhat tender arsehole. Once I was clean I made sure I washed any evidence of my dreaming from the shower walls then turned off the water. By the time I had dried myself I was shivering from cold as well as the memories. Still in a bit of a daze I stumbled out into the bedroom, cursing loudly as I stubbed my toe on the edge of the bed, which seemed far harder than a bed should have been.

I quickly got into my clothes, which were in a pile on the floor where Geoff had stripped them off me last night.

While my memories of last night were amazing they were soured by the growing realisation of just what I had done to Paul. My mobile phone didn't seem to be with my clothes so hopefully that meant that Paul had called while I was in the shower and Geoff had answered it. I headed out of the bedroom hoping that Geoff might still be chatting to Paul and that everything might be alright. I found Geoff sitting at the dining room table finishing his breakfast, with no sign of my mobile phone.

"I was starting to wonder whether you were ever coming out of there." he said, before I could speak. "Hopefully your breakfast is still hot."

"Did Paul call?"

"Nope." Geoff shrugged then looked at his watch and continued "Given its 11:15am, if he was going to call he would have done so by now wouldn't he? I don't remember what time he left but it can't have been late. I think that even if he slept in he'd be up by now. If he wanted to talk to you he would have called, wouldn't he?"

"Damn. If you haven't got the phone then that also means I've dropped it somewhere in the house, because I know I had it here last night and it wasn't with my clothes just now when I got dressed."

"I'm fairly sure I would have heard it if it rang while you were in the shower. We'll look for it later on, if we don't hear it before then." He yawned, obviously still tired after our night of activity, then continued "Come and have some breakfast before it gets totally cold. You were in that shower way longer than I expected. Good shower?"

I nodded and sat down at the table, trying not to show the pain I felt in my arse as I sat. Geoff had gone to all the trouble or making scrambled eggs with sausages and bacon and a big glass of orange juice. This suited me perfectly as I realised I was very hungry. As I started wolfing it down I noticed Geoff watching me. I looked at him questioningly.

"A bit hungry this morning are we?" he asked with a laugh, "I shouldn't be surprised, given how much energy we burned last night and earlier this morning. Better build those reserves up in case you need some again later today!"

I decided to ignore the innuendo and got back into breakfast. The food really did make me feel better, although my mind was still worrying about Paul. Still, Geoff was right and if Paul wanted to talk to me this morning he would have called by now. Wherever the phone was we'd find it as soon as he rings. Thankfully I knew it was fully charged yesterday, so there's no way I could miss his call today because it ran out of power. Besides, Paul was probably already out of the house by now and wouldn't answer. I did so want to talk to him and check how he was though, as I was worried that he felt that I'd deserted him. Maybe I could get Geoff to run me home?

"Would you mind dropping me home?"

"Why not stay here today? He's probably already gone out by now so why not just wait until he calls and then when we know he's home I can drop you there, or he can come and pick you up?"

"Yeah, you're right." I said, after thinking about it for a moment. "He probably has already gone out by now. Maybe he'll drop through here during the day and pick me up? That'll save you having to bother with a trip out to his place, although it is really nice of you to offer."

"You know you're welcome to stay here as long as you like, so there's no need to hurry off. What would you like to do today? I've got nothing planned and I'm at your command?"

"I really don't know. Paul and I were going to do some more touristy things to show me the city. He has to work tomorrow so we can't do it then. I'm still not sure how long I'm down here, so we were trying to make the most of it while we had the chance."

"Well I could take you out if you'd like?" he said. "Or maybe we could stay in and find something else to do? You know, just wait and see what comes up?" he continued with a blatantly suggestive glance at my crotch.

I felt myself blush at the innuendo, my eyes almost magnetically drawn to his crotch and the prominent bulge there, watching it increase in size under my gaze. I can't believe how I react to Geoff. It's like he has got me under his spell and I am powerless to decline. I feel a bit like a school boy with his first crush, tongue tied and embarrassed every time I was so much as looked at. I have got to start thinking with my other head instead of the one down my pants. Geoff's knowing chuckle broke me from my thoughts.

"While you decide what you want to do I'll head in for a shower then." he said, slowly stripping off his T-shirt over his head. "If there is any hot water left. I really should have joined you in there, just for water conservation purposes of course."

After waiting a moment for my eyes to drink in every inch of that wonderful torso, he headed off to have his shower, leaving me to try to sort through everything going on in my head. Last nights sex had been mind-blowing, there is no doubt about that, but it was just sex and nothing more. My mind knew that perfectly well but that didn't seem to stop my body wanting more of it so badly. With Paul the full physical side was still to be explored but in a lot of ways I found that our physical relationship was more fulfilling than the last 24 hours of lust. I realised that some of the best parts of last night were when I was watching Paul explore an uncut dick for the first time. The expression on his face was priceless as he played with the foreskin. It was funny just how much enjoyment I got out of watching his enjoyment. I guess that is what love does to you, making the little things that much more interesting.

After Paul had gone, even locked into Geoff's eyes, I still missed having him with me. Yes my body responded to Geoff and the results were explosive, but my heart was still elsewhere, wishing that Paul was with me. It did make me see how much I missed giving myself to a man though, and that indescribable feeling of being entered and fucked. That was all that seems to be missing between Paul and I, that total surrender that I now found was something I missed so much. I knew that Geoff was never going to be a partner, but I craved the physical act so much that my body was almost crying out for it again now that I had been reminded how good it felt. If only Paul wasn't so inexperienced and inhibited. I know he loves me but he feels that it is such a big step to take, and I know I need to give him the time. If only...

I was still sitting, lost in my musings, when Geoff came back from his shower. He was stark naked and drying his hair, showing off everything he had to tempt me. The similarities to the morning after Paul moved in to my place on the Gold Coast almost made me laugh. I guess if you've got the bait you might as well dangle it, and in Geoff's case there was a lot of bait. He was breathtaking! Still drying his hair he took his time walking over to the table, giving me a chance to have a good long look at him. When he was standing beside me he dropped the towel onto the table and looked down at me, catching my eyes immediately.

"So? Sorted out what you want to do today? I'm happy to do whatever you'd like!" he said, dropping his voice to a sultry note.

The full effect of his combined attacks was impressive. He knew what he had and exactly how to use it. He knew his body was a dream come true and that his eyes reduced me to a quivering mass. Adding to that a sexy sultry voice was like bringing all guns to bear on a hapless victim. I was melting; well most of me was melting anyway. Some bits of me were like granite and extremely uncomfortable in the confines of my jeans. I could feel my breathing quicken and my heart rate increase, my hand reaching of it's own volition to stroke up the outside of his naked thigh that was less than a foot away from me. Movement out of the corner of my eye dragged my attention away from those magical pools of pale blue-grey and I realised that the guns analogy was more accurate than I had originally thought. Geoff was definitely bringing his gun to bear, filling and rising as my hand brushed up his thigh. Oh so impressive!

With an act of sheer will I removed my hand, tearing my eyes away from his impressive piece and trying to avoid looking at anything else he had to offer. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to control myself if I sat where I was so I desperately hopped up from my chair, bringing me closer to his height so he was no longer towering over me. That didn't help much as it just made it easier for him to lean in and kiss me, and I found myself lustfully returning the kiss. With a mind of their own, my hands moved to feel the broad muscles of his upper back. He moaned and I felt his dick, now fully erect, move against me as he took a step forward to bring our crotches into close contact. He then brought his hands up to my chest, brushing outwards across my pecs. He slowly started to grind his crotch into mine, stimulating my rock hard dick as much as he did his own. This, in combination with the fact he was now playing with my nipples, had me weak at the knees and panting heavily. Much as I wanted to run my hands all over that god-like body I took a deep breath and controlled myself, stepping away from him and moving to the other side of the table.

"I'd like to go out somewhere, but I haven't made up my mind as to where." I mumbled, trying to get my pulse back under control.

"Looks like something has made his mind up." said Geoff with a nod to the tent in my jeans. "Looks like he is enjoying the idea as well!"

"Will you stop it please?" I groaned, getting irritated as much at myself as him. "How am I supposed to concentrate with you standing there in the buff like that, reminding me of everything we've done in the last 24 hours? How about you get dressed and then we'll work out what we're doing today!"

With a chuckle, Geoff disappeared into the bedroom, but I think I could see a gleam of disappointment in his eyes. A few moments later he returned wearing just the tiniest pair of pale blue running shorts, barely concealing the equipment within, and a dark blue shirt which he'd left unbuttoned. I found the effect even sexier than when he was naked, and my dick leapt to full attention again. As he walked towards the lounge he stretched, creating an eye-popping display of muscles. This was just driving me crazy, as he was pushing every button and I was losing my resolve. I decided I didn't trust myself to be out in public with Geoff as I'd be constantly hard just thinking about what was in those shorts, so I decided to check out his DVD collection to see if there was anything I wanted to watch. I sorted through a few but couldn't make up my mind. I glanced at Geoff to find him sitting at one end of the lounge, semi-reclined with one leg up beside him. His shirt was open, leaving that gorgeous torso on display, and he might as well not have been wearing shorts for all the cover they provided.

"Here, you choose." I said in frustration, heading towards the lounge to sit down. "Surprise me."

As he stood and walked to the stereo his arm brushed against mine, an almost electric charge running up my arm from where he touched me. My heart rate accelerated from just that touch and I had to fight the urge to follow and wrap my arms around him. I managed to get myself seated again but as he took his time looking through the collection I couldn't help but watch him. He just moved so beautifully, with such symmetry of muscle. My fantasies in flesh! I ended up looking anywhere but at him, trying to keep my mind off him. He eventually loaded the DVDplayer and sauntered back to the lounge. I tried my hardest, but still found myself watching the play of his leg muscles out of the corner of my eye. I was starting to think I was addicted to watching his beautiful body. It would have been so much easier if he didn't have such a great personality to go with that body, because then there would have at least been something I could have focused on as a negative. As it was, he was just about perfect.

Geoff sat down on the lounge next to me, settling himself in that same semi-reclined position he was in earlier. His knee of course ended up against my thigh and when I looked across I could see that huge dick lying along his inside thigh, pointing towards me. I looked up and saw him grin mischievously, confident that I wouldn't be able to resist him. I swallowed hard and looked towards the television, trying desperately to concentrate. I couldn't tell you what the movie was as I was never able to concentrate enough to get into it. My peripheral vision kept focusing on the fantasy beside me, with my mind constantly running through the possible things I could be doing if I just gave in to the lust I felt. I was hard for most of the movie, which wasn't exactly helping my resolve.

At one point during the movie I found my hand running lightly up and down his thigh. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I only became aware of what I was doing when Geoff moaned softly. Almost like I was in a dream I ran my hand right to the top of his inner thigh, brushing it gently against his testicles. I watched as his dick jumped, now completely at attention and pulsing in the air in time with his heartbeat. I dreamily watched it for a few moments then trailed my eyes up his body. He looked like absolute perfection! His balls were topped by that massive piece, poking out from the loose shorts. Above the shorts the angle of his torso had his abdominals starkly outlined, leading my eyes up to his firm pecs. They were highlighted by the open shirt, framing them beautifully as my eyes traveled higher. As I reached his face I found a sultry expression but with an intensity in his eyes that demanded attention. The whole picture was really breathtaking and I felt my breath quicken yet again.

I knew this was wrong! Very wrong! I knew that I should be with Paul instead of Geoff, but the vision in front of me was overriding my resolve. I wanted desperately to stop myself and leave this temptation but I seemed powerless as I trailed my fingers slowly up the underside of his dick. I wrapped my hand around his impressive length, watching his eyes half close and hearing him gasp. I was aware of my own dick pulsing with need in the confines of my jeans. I wanted Geoff's hands on me as well, my need so great that I could feel myself leaking from the intensity.

The doorbell rang.

I snatched my hand back like I'd been burnt, intensely aware of how wrong this whole situation was. I almost cheered with relief that I had been given a second chance. The doorbell had managed to break me from my stupor and almost seemed like a sign from God. I ran to get it.

******** Back to Paul's view again ************

The door was flung open by Trevor. In an instant I took in the view in front of me, Trevor standing there with an obvious erection and a damp patch near the crotch of his jeans. Further back in the room I saw Geoff stand up from the lounge, sporting a massive erection that arose from the brief pair of shorts he was wearing. His open shirt left his body on full display and showed that sometimes clothes could be even sexier than being naked. Seeing that cock and glorious body reminded me again of the scene as I left last night and I felt sick as I realised I must have just interrupted them being intimate, exactly as I had feared might be happening.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anyth..." I started to say, my words cutting off as Trevor virtually wrapped himself around me. Despite my misgivings I allowed myself to fully get into the hug, closing my eyes and breathing in Trevor's scent. It was wonderful.

After enjoying it for a few moments I opened my eyes again, seeing Geoff standing in the room watching us with an unreadable expression on his face, his erection softening rapidly. He almost looked forlorn, like seeing us hug made him sad. For a moment he looked rather vulnerable, something I hadn't seen in him before.

"Thank God you're here." Trevor whispered urgently in my ear, "Please get me out of here!"

He continued to hug me so hard that I couldn't even look at his face. From what I had seen I'd definitely interrupted something, so why was Trevor so anxious to leave?

"I'm not joking Paul," he continued, "I'm losing control of myself but I want to be with you not him. I'll explain later, but I need to get out of here NOW!"

I peeled Trevor off me and attempted a smile, walking tentatively into Geoff's apartment.

"Hi Geoff. Thanks for the invitation last night. Sorry I had to rush off."

"No problem Paul." said Geoff, mustering an almost irritated smile. "Trevor was wonderful company. We barely noticed you weren't here."

I mentally winced, acknowledging that he'd scored a hit on me right where it hurts, but I couldn't be sure he'd meant it how it sounded. The expression on his face as he walked towards the door made me doubt he was quite as sure of himself as he likes to appear.

"Well we've imposed on you enough already so I'll take him off your hands again." I looked at Trevor. "You ready to go Trev?"

"Oh yeah." he said simply, trying not to sounds as eager to leave as he obviously was.

"You got everything?"

"Fuck!" said Trevor with feeling. "The damn phone."

As I looked at him questioningly, he continued.

"I lost the phone somewhere in the apartment last night. I couldn't find it earlier when I looked for it. We were hoping to find it when you rang, as we'd be able to trace the sound and find it."

"I tried ringing all day. It rang for ages the first time before going to Messagebank, then after that it said it was turned off or out of range. I left a couple of messages."

"It must have run out of battery." said Trevor, "I could have sworn I recharged it yesterday."

'I'm sure we would have heard it if you'd called." said Geoff, a pleasant expression now firmly plastered on his face. "We only finished up at around 11am this morning, so we should have heard the phone if you'd called."

I felt myself blushing at that piece of information, my mind instantly running through all the things they could have been doing through all the hours up until then. I came back to myself to see a slight smirk on Geoff's face, which was smoothed over so well that I doubted for a moment I had ever seen it. He knew very well that he'd caused me turmoil with that little morsel.

"That's the time I called, 11am exactly. I waited until then in case you were sleeping in."

"Oh we weren't sleeping, believe me." said Geoff with a leer at Trevor.

"And I went straight into the shower." said Trevor, blushing bright red as he realised how this all sounded. Then he turned to Geoff. "You would have heard the phone then, and you said it didn't ring."

"I am positive I would have heard it if it had rung." said Geoff confidently, a slight emphasis on the word "if" showing that he doubted I had even tried calling. "I mean I'm sure I can't hear everything in the house while the shower is running, but I'd expect to hear a phone ring. I'll help look for it if you'd like?"

We started to look for the phone, checking behind cushions on the lounge and underneath it. Trevor and I then went into the bedroom to see if we could find it there. As I walked in the door my mind flashed back to the last scene I had witnessed here.... Trevor's eyes glazing over with pleasure as Geoff thrust into him. I shook my head, trying to clear the image from my mind. I joined Trevor on all fours on the carpet, looking around to see if we could find the phone. It didn't take long.

"I've found it, here under the edge of the bed" I said, as I turned and handed it to Trevor.

Trevor sat back on his feet where he was, flicking the switch and looking intently at the display. He sighed and his face fell a little, obviously seeing all the times I had tried calling him. I looked up as Geoff came in through the doorway.

"Damn." sighed Trevor, not seeing Geoff as his back was to the door. "You called so many times and I missed them all because somehow it's not switched on. It's at three quarter charge so it should still be running fine. I wonder how it got turned off?"

"Oh I know." he continued, after pausing for a moment to think. "I must have kicked the damn thing after my shower. I thought I had stubbed my toe on the bed when I was getting my clothes, but it must have been the phone instead. It must have switched off somehow."

I was watching Geoff as Trevor was speaking and saw a couple of different expressions pass across his face. When Trevor wondered aloud about the phone being turned off Geoff looked quite tense, almost worried for a moment, but when he spoke of stubbing his toe Geoff looked somewhat relieved. Those strange reactions to Trevor's words, gave me a strong suspicion that Trevor's line of reasoning might not fit the real events. I would have bet that Geoff had turned off the phone to make sure that I couldn't call, but there was no way I could prove it and I doubt that Trevor would believe me if I told him. When Geoff realised I was watching him he had the grace to look embarrassed, dropping his eyes to the floor under my scrutiny. He knew I'd guessed what had really happened, and by the look of it he wasn't exactly proud of himself. It was so strange seeing him look embarrassed as it didn't match his usual personality. That, coupled with Geoff's reaction to our hugging at the door, made me see that Geoff's bravado was a facade, hiding a far less confident personality underneath. There was definitely more to him than I thought.

"So you found it then? Where was it?" said Geoff brightly, after he had composed himself. This elicited a jump from Trevor, who hadn't realised he had come into the room.

"It was under the bed. That's why I couldn't find it earlier when I looked." Trevor said, as he stood up and turned to face him.

"But why didn't we hear it ringing?" said Geoff, pretending that he hadn't heard Trevor's comments about stubbing his toe. This confirmed to me that he knew perfectly well how the phone had been turned off but was leaving it to Trevor to provide his cover story.

"I think I kicked it after I got out of the shower." said Trevor with a resigned tone to his voice. "I feel like an idiot. I'm so sorry you couldn't contact me Paul."

"Hey, no need to be down about it." said Geoff, grabbing Trevor into a hug. "No harm done. He's here now and you know he WAS trying to contact you. That's all that matters. It was just a silly accident. There's no need to for you guys to leave immediately is there? How about we head back out to the lounge?"

I was confused by now as to what to do. Trevor was obviously bummed because he thought he was the reason for the phone misunderstanding. I didn't want him to feel bad about something he obviously had nothing to do with but there was no way I could tell him that. I also wasn't quite sure what to make of Geoff's almost Jeckyll and Hyde routine, so I just followed them out to the lounge room and then gently grabbed Trevor's arm, steering him towards the door.

"Actually, we really HAD better be going." I said to Geoff, then looked intently at Trevor. "We were going to do some sight seeing this afternoon, weren't we Trev? We might just be able to still fit some in if we hurry."

Trevor caught my look and realised that I was trying to get him out of the apartment as he had asked. That snapped him back out of his melancholy state over the phone mix-up and he straightened his shoulders and tried to look happier.

"Yeah, good idea Paul. Sounds great. We'd best be straight off then, eh?"

As we headed for the door Geoff intercepted us.

"What, don't I get a hug?" asked Geoff, that almost forlorn look returning to his face. "Surely after what we shared last night a hug wouldn't be too much to ask for?"

Trevor blushed bright red at the reminder but turned and politely hugged him. Geoff grabbed him in a bear hug, molding his body against Trevor's. With Geoff's touch Trevor shivered a little, his body still responding to what I had interrupted a few minutes earlier. Geoff put his mouth beside Trevor's ear and whispered something. Trevor moaned softly, Geoff's words apparently getting a strong response from him. After a moment I saw him grit his teeth and untangle himself from Geoff's embrace.

"And remember." said Geoff as he moved away. "You guys are welcome back any time you'd like. Maybe next time Paul might stay the whole night if we're lucky? Maybe we could show him some of what we did last night? I'm sure he'd enjoy the experience, because I know we did."

As he smiled brightly at me I could feel myself redden. I felt like taking a swing at the smug prick but I still wasn't sure that he really meant it as an insult. As far as Trevor was concerned he had been the perfect gentleman, so I had no justification for being upset. Instead I led Trevor out the door, turning to say our last farewells to Geoff as we started down the stairs.

We got out to the car and I started it up. As we pulled out onto the street I checked whether Trevor wanted to go out anywhere or just straight home. He assured me that home sounded wonderful, so home we headed. I wasn't quite sure what to say to Trevor now to be honest, given all that had happened in the last 24 hours. I had a feeling that I really didn't want to hear the details, but at the same time I wanted to hear everything. About halfway home Trevor spoke, his head bowed and only just loud enough to hear.

"Thank you Paul. I..... I don't know how I could have gotten out of there without you. The last 24 hours have been a blur. Thank you for coming for me!"

The last statement sounded plaintive, like he was a little lost boy. I wanted to reassure him that everything would be OK but I didn't know that it actually would be. We had so much that we needed to say, but neither of us knew quite how to say it. The rest of the trip home ended up a pretty silent affair.

We finally pulled into my driveway. Both of us sat there for a moment, looking at each other to try to gauge their mood. Both of us still unsure what to say; we headed into the house. We went into the lounge room and I asked Trevor if he wanted something to drink, then went and got us both cokes at his request. He'd sat down on the 2-seater lounge so I sat in one of the arm chairs. Much as I wanted to be with him I realised that we really needed to talk some of this out so that I knew where things stood. If I was beside him I would be too tempted to take him in my arms and kiss him. I saw Trevor redden a little and his eyes close momentarily, as he noted where I was sitting. He dropped his head slightly and sighed.

"So you thought I was ignoring you because I never called you back. And I didn't call you because I never even knew you called, and we thought that you were probably out of the house doing other things. I should have called you and left a message anyway. I royally fucked up didn't I?"

"Yep." I said with a nod, "Last night I could accept. You were with a man that was touching you in places that you'd never been touched before, and I mean that both physically and mentally. I was a part of it and you got so wrapped up in it that I don't think you even knew I was gone. I could have stopped it, but I knew this was what you really wanted. Heck, even this morning I can sort of understand given that you woke up with him in bed next to you. Morning wood and being half asleep would make him difficult to resist, even if you weren't under his spell. I can sort of accept it, even if it hurts a lot."

I had to stop for a moment as tears sprang to my eyes. I didn't want to start blubbering so I took a moment to control myself before continuing.

"But at some point this morning you had to realise that I wasn't there, even if you didn't remember me leaving. Why didn't you call me then, if it actually mattered that I wasn't there?"

"I honestly don't know." said Trevor, after a long pause. "At first I thought that you must have got up early, but I eventually realised that you weren't there. It mattered alright!! I wanted to call you but I didn't know what your reaction would be. I didn't know why you left and I think I convinced myself that you'd be so angry you didn't want to talk with me, so I waited for you to ring me when you were ready. I was so scared about how you'd react that I didn't even stop to think that not calling you would make it worse."

"I literally waited at home for you to call because I couldn't get a hold of you Trevor. I wanted to believe that it was just a flat battery but the longer I waited the more I realised that wasn't the problem. That was when I started to worry that I meant nothing. I had hoped that a night with Geoff might get him out of your system. I knew that if I stopped it happening last night you'd have wondered about it for the rest of your life.

There's no way I can compete with a fantasy."

"Now though" I continued, feeling sick to the stomach from all the emotions running through my body. "You have to make a choice. I know I don't have to offer physically what Geoff has to offer, and that's in more ways than one. He can fulfill your fantasies like I can never hope to do, and that is torturing me. No matter how hard I work on my body I will never come up to his standard. I've always had body image problems but he is a walking inferiority complex maker. I'm scared shitless, Trev. I don't know what to do and I don't know quite what to say."

"You're doing pretty well so far Paul." said Trevor, a wry smile on his face.

"This has all happened so fast." I said, after taking another deep breath to steady myself. "Around a month ago I rode up to the Gold Coast to clear my head after Michelle's death. Twelve days ago I moved into your apartment, and the next day I saw you naked and we were intimate for the first time. Where we've gone from there is unbelievable to me. I feel like I have known you forever, like you're a missing half of my soul that I never knew I had. Physically and mentally you are MY fantasy man come to life. When I look at you I ache, both my heart AND other parts of my anatomy, and when I am with you I feel that the world is a better place. I never thought anyone would, or even could, replace Michelle in my life then somehow fate stepped in and I found you. And it all happened so quickly."

"After last night I no longer know where things stand. It is obvious that you are more attracted to Geoff than to me. You can see it in your eyes every time you look at him. When you look at me I see your love, I can't deny that, but when you look at him there is so much lust. I know that you desire me as well, but I think that if I stood naked in front of you now you'd be comparing me to Geoff, and I know that it wouldn't be a favourable comparison. That really scares me, because there really is nothing I can do about it."

"Geez," I said after a momentary pause, "This is starting to sound like a Mills and Boon romance novel. I know it sounds corny given my recent circumstances, but I really do love you. I know that physically I can never be your fantasy, but I am hoping that you might be able to bring your standards down far enough to put up with me in that respect. I do hope that mentally and emotionally I can one day fulfill all your current fantasies, and that between us we can come up with a few more of our own. I'm just afraid that all I've just talked about IS just a fantasy on my part, and that this is all in my head and will never be real."

At this point I had to stop, as I knew if I said anything else I would just burst into tears. Trevor came over and knelt in front of my chair, holding out his arms and pulling me into a hug.

"Paul," he said quietly in my ear. "Don't you believe for one moment that this is all in your head. I love you as much as you love me, and you're right that I do need to make a decision. First though I need to tell you everything that went on after you left last night. I can't really explain last night as it is all a blur in some ways, but I can at least try to share it with you as best I can."

For the next hour, maybe two, he explained to me in graphic detail exactly what had happened after I left last night. He left out nothing, detailing his feelings and emotions, and laid it all out to me. By the time he had worked his way through to the point where I rang the doorbell I knew everything that had happened, and I realised how out of control he had felt throughout it. I can't say it didn't still hurt, but I honestly believed he was being as truthful with me as he possibly could be. I realised that by telling me everything that happened in such graphic detail he was trying to make me a part of it. He was trying to make up for his failure to act when I was leaving, and his failure to act this morning when he realised I was gone. He was trying to fill in ALL the blanks so that I could feel like I was there as well. And it really meant a lot to me that he did so, even if at the same time every intimate detail hurt in it's own way.

Somewhere during his narration we had moved to the lounge so we could sit comfortably together, subtlely touching and supporting each other. As he finished speaking he grabbed me into a hug, drawing me close and kissing me on the neck. He snuggled his face into my collar bone and hugged me even harder, eventually sighing and releasing me. We looked at each other, concern on both our faces.

"Now that you know everything that happened since yesterday, do you still want ME?" he said, the concern on his face becoming even more obvious, "I really did let you down Paul, and I realise that your trust in me has been severely shaken, if not shattered. Even I can't understand my response to Geoff, and the worst part is that I had no control over it at all. I love you Paul, and I want to try to make this up to you somehow. I'll find a way to earn your trust again."

"Oh, there is one thing." he continued, a flash of mischief lighting his eyes, "I've made a few changes as to my mental image of my fantasy man. My NEW fantasy man is around my own height, dark hair and greenish-hazel eyes. He is fairly muscular, has a hairy chest, soft lips, sexy goatee, and a smile that lights up my heart. He also has the most wonderfully loving heart, knows just the right words to say, and when he kisses me he takes my breath away. And entirely coincidentally I am looking at him right now."

I couldn't help but laugh. The change in tone from serious to mischievous was so unexpected, and yet I could see it was heartfelt. I looked into his eyes and accepted at that moment that I could forgive last night, because I really couldn't lose this man from my life. He'd opened a part of me that I thought was forever closed, and I didn't want to lose him without a fight. I grabbed him and hugged him, kissing him hard on the lips to try to show him my feelings. His eyes widened just for a moment then lit up with joy as he understood I was prepared to give him another chance. It was going to take a bit of work, but we'd make it through this, hopefully stronger than we were before.

------------------------ to be continued -----------------------------------------

A reminder to please include ANB in the subject line if you're emailing me for the first time. I always like feedback, be you a first time reader or a regular.

I have a couple more recommendations for reading material. I very quickly became addicted to 'Jumping over my mountain' in the college section (latest posting this week). There is a lot of it to read, and I just couldn't stop once I started. I'd highly recommend it if you haven't already read it. Another is 'Alex and Zach', also in College (Last posting June 19th). This is a completed story and well worth the read if you haven't already seen it.

And finally, supporting a fellow Aussie author.... 'College Mates' in, yet again, the College section. Simpler story than the others, but I like the feel of it, and we need more Aussie stories!!

Remember as well that if you find new stories that you like then write to the authors. It is the only way that they know you're reading their story. Silence does not promote more writing in some cases!! LOL

Paul in Australia. yvonneva@hotmail.com