DISCLAIMER -- This story is 100% a work of fiction.
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Straight Crush -- Chapter 2
I stood at my kitchen table, I reread the note from Bill at least 100 times. I was madly and deeply in love with him. All of him, he free sprite, his drive to be more then he was, his thought process that was so different then min. I was a ridged thinker. I loved controls, a routine, and a timeline. I loved things to be in order. At work I was the fighting for a promotion, I took control of every situation I was in. I must admit I am a massive control freak, I don't let go hardly ever. He was almost my complete opposite. Did I follow his orders, or do I hold off and wait for him to come back to the apartment? Did he really mean what he said or was he still high and a hung over? I made the choice to wait for him to come home, right, wrong or indifferent it was the choice I made...
It was nearly 6pm when I heard the key at the front door. I was watching my all time favorite movie. (Tremors for those of you who want to know.) Bill came through the door, he came in and stood right in front of the TV. "Did you not understand the direction I give you?" He continued, "Why is my stuff still in bags in the living room?" He stood there waiting for an answer. "Look Bill, I think we need to talk about what happened like adults, I fucked up big time. I crossed the line and I deserve the anger you showed me. I feel like shit knowing I can't control myself when it comes to you... If you want to leave I will help you an any way I can, but I don't understand what's going on." I paused as I tried to collect my thoughts. I didn't want to fuck this up by choosing the wrong words. Bill was beyond book smart, he loved to outthink people. He also had a great deal of common sense. Common sense, such a strange name for something that isn't all that common... Bill was still standing in front of the TV, I was distracted by the movie playing behind him, I turned it off. "Been doing a lot of soul searching." Bill said. "I know you have feelings for me, you even say you love me. I still don't know how I feel about that. What I do know is you have a major craving for dick. You let it control you." I was feeling as low and I could possibly get at that moment because he was right. I allowed a physical need to get in the way of friendship. Bill continued, "I have physical needs too, I like to be held and cuddled." He paused for a moment and continued. "By women. You're a nice guy, but you're a guy, I don't know how to feel about what happened." He started to run his hands through is thick brown hair, he looks so fucking good... He went on, "Look I'm sorry about the note, I was still a little drunk and a lot high when I wrote it. I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I was really angry." He went to sat down at the computer desk, "You acted like a fucking bitch, so I treated you like one." He crossed his arms and I could tell he was getting upset again.
"Bill, I was out of line. I know what I am. I've known for a long time. I think you're fucking perfect in every way. Anyone who gets to call you theirs would be fucking lucky. I know how badly I screwed up." It was time for some really hard truth, and I needed Bill to hear it. "But I can't and don't regret any part of it. It gave me something I was crazing. It gave me you even if it was totally fucked up. You have and always will be perfect to me." I needed to get everything off my chest, "I didn't mind the note, I didn't know how serious you may have been about it. I loved the way you totally took control, I was happy to give it up for a short time. What killed me is how it made you feel when we finished."
Bill's mind was going a mile a minute. "You liked the way I treated you? You liked how hateful I was to you?" I jumped in, "Yes, I do. When you took control, when you let go and allowed the animal nature in you to take over I forgot all my pain and problems. I was solely focused on you and your needs. I forgot I was alone, I forgot my step dad hates me, I forgot my own mom choose a man she married over the kid she gave birth to. I forgot my brothers and sisters don't understand me, or even want to try to understand me. I forgot I work crazy hours just to make ends meet. I forgot how shitty my self esteem is. I forgot... I forgot how much pain I've kept bottled up." I was near tears. I haven't been open like this ever. I needed to shut my mouth. I had to sound like a fucking basket case and pitiful excuse of a person.
Bill got up, he gave me a hug. It was very close and felt more like friends than anything else. He looked at me for second. "Man, I'm sorry this is just to heavy for me." He walked over grabbed his things and walked out. I sat back down on the sofa. I don't know but I kept myself together. No tears and no anger toward Bill at all. I didn't hear from him for almost 5 years.
By this time a lot of things had changed in my life. For starters I got the promotion I had been fighting for. I was relocated to Phoenix AZ. I left my family and friends behind. I tried to keep in touch with my fellow nerds by email and phone calls. I just sucked at it. I put all my energy into my career. I was driven and focused. I hated the life of paycheck to paycheck. I built up a savings, was driving a new car, and was in the process of buying my first house. An acquaintance of mine from work kept talking about this new thing called "Facebook." I checked it out that night when I got home. Lord was I out of touch. I set up my profile, at the time I didn't think to look for anyone from my past. I wanted to leave Nebraska behind me. I hated that place with a passion... I think I added 3 or 4 people from work. After looked at their profiles I realized I was all work and zero play. A few weeks had passed, a couple of my nerd friends found my profile. I had mixed feelings about adding them to my friends list. Again, I just wanted everything from my shitty past left in the past.
I forgot about it really, until I got my first smart phone. I was an iPhone, the iPhone 3. I found the app store and started to download apps. I could stay connected with work and my very small group of friends without ever talking to them on the phone. I could stay focused on work. By now I had about 10 people from Nebraska on my Facebook page. I was way more then I ever wanted but I felt guilty not added my old gaming buddies. I felt like my life was on track and even though I didn't have a lot of friends and was STILL single I was doing ok. My world was about to turn upside down...
I was at work, eating lunch at my desk and going over financial reports. My Facebook messenger tone went off. Normally at work I don't ever mess with it, but I was at lunch and thought screw it. I open the Messenger app. Right in on my screen was a message from Bill... "Hey man, I hope all is well with you. I was told you moved to Arizona. I hope I got the right Wyatt." I was floored... After walking out of my life, he had the nerve to just reach back in and put his hand around my heart. FUCK HIM.... I sent a short snotty response "I'm doing fine." I was instantly pissed. Doesn't he remember all the shit that went down. He walked away from me. Yes, I am aware I more than likely deserved it. Doesn't mean I had to like it. I tossed my phone on my desk and started back on my reports. I wanted to try to keep my mind focused. My phone went off again, "Glad to hear it man, things for me have been touch for me." I didn't need this drama in my world. I was driven, I was focused on the goals ahead of me. I had a purpose. I sent back another short message. "Sorry to hear that." My mind was no longer fit to be working on financial reports... I called my team to meet by the meeting room. I let them know I was going to head out for the day, I was going to take the rest of the day off... They looked shocked. Maria asked me, "Boss, what's wrong, you haven't missed a day of work ever. You doing ok? Do we need to worry?" I laughed a little. "I'm fine, thank you for asking. Nothing major, I'm just going to use a little of that built up PTO and take a half day. Remember to send me sales by the hour. Have a great day and don't burn the place down. I laughed at them and headed to my car. When I got to my car my phone had gone off again. "Ya things here are pretty bad, I lost my job and my girl all in one day. I don't really speak to mom and the twins anymore. Been kinda couch surfing for the past 3 months." I was starting to feel sorry for him. "What happened with your job." I was now on my way home. I stepped into my apartment filled with moving boxes. My phone must have gone off 3 times in the drive from work to my place. "You know me, I don't care much for rules. My boss was a jackass and I told him that. He fired me on the spot. Carrie left me because this was the 7th job in less then a year. I just don't like being told what to do." Now was the time for some touch love. "You know Bill, sometimes you just have to bite your upper lip, and deal with what life has given you." He didn't respond for almost an hour. "Ya, I guess." I know when someone doesn't like my brand of truth. I just sent back. "yep." I didn't hear from him for the rest of the night. I looked at his profile, He was still fucking hot. I popped a woody when I saw his shirtless pictures. Why did I look at his pictures? Why did I play his fucking videos he posted? I started to melt when I could hear his voice. I got off the couch and turned on my stereo. I put in my favorite Reba McEntire CD, it was the only CD not packed... I listened to her, something about her voice always clamed my nerves.
It wasn't until I got a picture at 11pm. It was a picture of Bill in his car sitting at a rest stop just outside of Omaha. The message that followed. "My home for the night." I rolled my eyes and ran my hands through my hair, "Fuck, sorry to hear it." A few minutes later, "I don't have any right to ask this, but I could really use some help..." I looked at this message for over an hour before I responded, "What are you expecting? You walked out of my life? I know what happened was 100% wrong. I will own that for the rest of my life. You made the choice to walk out. I respected it. Do you have any idea how hard this is right now?" No response...
The following morning was tough for me, I normally am in bed by 9:30 or 10:00. I like to be at work by 5:00am. It gives me time to see all three shifts each day. I hated how easily this Bill thing distracted me. My mind was unfocused and undisciplined. I was off my game and my team could see it. It was about 2pm and I was starting to get my groove back when yep, you guess it.
"I walked away because I was scared. A dude showed me more understanding then any chick ever has or sense. I was scared because I was confused. I didn't know how to process the events that happened. I'm not perfect, I fuck up." That is what his message said. I didn't respond because I didn't know what to say or how to respond to such a statement. I was trying to read between the lines. I obviously sucked at doing that. 4:30pm and I am getting myself ready to head home. Message number two for the day.
"I understand if you don't want to talk to me. I understand if you don't want to help me out after our history. I just would like a response back. I need to try and figure out what my next move is." I read his message and tried to come up with a response that didn't make me feel like shit or blame him for everything.
"Bill, I get your confusion. Fuck I am confused myself. I am still in love with you. Every guy I dated I compared to you. Every encounter is judged by the one you and I had." I sent it. I started to type my next response. I decided to be bold and a bit brave, "Everyone failed to live up to you. Every encounter didn't compare to the one I had with you. Fuck Bill, I can still remember the taste of your cum..."
No response. I had driven him away again. I was fixing my dinner when his response come through. "Wyatt, I'm straight. I love the ladies, I wish I could flip a switch because no one believed in me or showed me as much love as you did. What scared me, I started to like it. I liked the sexual tension between us. I knew how bad you wanted it and to be completely honest. I did a lot of things to tease and push you." I wasn't sure what to think about his message when I saw the little symbol he was typing again. "I compare every blow job I've ever got to the ones you gave me. Bitches didn't even come close. I should have stayed with you. I knew it would have only been physical comfort for me, but I know you would have invested everything into me and the situation. It wouldn't have been fair. I can't return the emotional support you would want and need." What the fuck was I reading, what was he saying? I was beyond confused now...
I took my time in crafting my next message. "Are you telling me not one girl has lived up to my oral skills?" I decided it was time to quit this dancing game, "What about my ass, did any of them give it up to like I did? Did any of them willingly allow you to turn them into "Your Birch"?" I took a break and let that sit there for a minute before I pressed send... Fuck it, I sent it and went to work on the next message before he could respond to the one I had just sent. "Don't get yourself twisted by trying to read between the lines, I would have gladly been your bitch. I would have gladly taken care of you as long as you took care of my needs too." I hit send, I started typing again. "I know you're straight, I know you like the ladies. I wish you the best of luck in your future. I hope you find the woman who would do for you what I would have done." I knew what I was doing, at least I thought I did. I wanted to get back to my life of control and focus. I sent one last message, "I'll send you some money to get you a hotel room for a couple of weeks until you can find a job. Bill you need to keep the job. My help is coming from a deep place in my heart, but I can't open myself up to the pain that will most likely come with it."
I waited up until I finally couldn't hold my eyes open any longer and passed out. The following morning, I awoke to a stream of messages from Bill. "Sorry my P.O.S. phone died, I had to let it charge." He went on, "Are you saying you would have done my laundry, cooked my food, cleaned up after me, and took care of my bedroom needs willingly? I know you well enough, you would have become emotionally attached how would you deal with that? How would I deal with that?" The next message had me floored. "I should have stayed. I had it made and didn't know it. What if I don't want to say in Nebraska any more. What if I want to come to Phoenix, would you be cool with that?" I had to think clearly.
"Bill, are you asking me to relocate you to Phoenix? Spit it out, I could use some truth and some bluntness from you. I don't like being confused." He was typing.
"Yes, I am asking you to relocate me. If you do and if you still feel the same way I could use a good bitch." Whaaaaat, Did he really just type that. I send back. "I know the perks you get from something like that, a hot meal every night, you get someone to clean up after you, you get someone to take care of all of your household responsibilities. What do I get out of this deal?" He was typing, "You get the satisfaction of knowing I'll keep what ever job I get. I'll give you the money to save for me. I want to start my own business. I'm a certified locksmith, I want to be my own boss. I just need some start up money." I wasn't excited about those options. He was typing again. "And you get to be my bitch. You get to suck my dick every night." I was hard as a rock, but I wasn't going to give in that easy. "Not good enough. You'll need to sweeten the deal." He was typing. "I'll fuck you every night... But you need to understand there will be no emotional connection. I will take care of your physical needs and mine That's all it can be. I will still be hitting the pussy on the side you need to know that. This is strictly physical for me." I was thinking hard about all this. Did I really want to put this level of craziness into my world when I got a picture from Bill, it was he hard cock!! I folded like a cheap card table. I was still trying to hold on to some small level of control. "Deal, but do you have the stamina to live up to that agreement?" He sent me two more pictures of his hard cock. "Yes!" I was out of my mind. "Ok, but house rules, no woman brought back to my house. You miss a night and you're out unless we agree beforehand. Agreed?" He typed, "No, what if I want to fuck more then just once? My sexual appetite is massive. I don't think you can keep up." I was ready! "Try me, I can outlast you any time. Where am I sending the money too?"
Authors Note
Guys I really want to thank you. Your feedback has been amazing! I must really think outside the box to keep it fresh and fun. I love hearing your suggestions, keep them coming.
I didn't think I could pull off writing an erotic story like this. I have all these thoughts and images in my head and I struggle to get them on paper. Your feedback makes it worth the effort.
With that being said, these are my fantasies and my characters. I have invested my time and energy on. Please don't be upset when I don't use all your suggestions.
I am also looking for a proof reader. I have been re-reading my stories and I am upset with the number of silly mistakes I didn't catch. I need someone who's open to getting the story first and get it back to me quickly so I get them on Nifty.org ASAP.
I have another story line on nifty.org. It's about two brothers that somehow found love in each other's arms. It has been amazing writing about Mike and Gabe. I put a lot of energy into them. I am sorry updates for Straight Crush took so long. I hope you like this follow up.
Thank You
Wyatt.