Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:
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If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You shouldn't be here.
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The X-Men and any related characters are property of Marvel Comics, trademarked and registered and copyrighted and all that. I'm using them without permission.
For those who read the comics and worry about such things, this story takes place in the (much simpler and easier to follow) Ultimate X-Men universe, and starts right around issue 54. If you don't want to dig out your copy, the team at that time is Jean Grey, Cyclops, Iceman, Kitty Pryde, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Angel, and Dazzler.
Comments can be sent to "dustyh75@hotmail.com"
Thanks.
As the water continued to stream down on them Peter reached for the bar of soap he had opened earlier and began to gently wash Seth, spreading lather across his shoulders and chest, half scrubbing and half massaging at the same time. Seth let out a soft noise of pleasure, leaning in toward Peter's hands with his eyes closed. Peter softly kissed his face over and over as he washed him, his thick, powerful hands sliding up and down Seth's arms and torso, raising his arms above his head, running soapy hands through his hair as he lightly caressed Seth's face.
"Peter," Seth whispered, sighing. He opened his eyes, looking for Peter's. "You don't have to wash me."
"I want to," Peter responded, circling his thumbs over Seth's nipples, smiling as he saw Seth shiver and arch his back when Peter rubbed them with soapy fingers. "When I am done, you can do the same for me."
"Can I just feel you up and call it washing?" Seth asked, and then gasped as he felt Peter's soap-slick hand gently cupping his balls, rolling them around in his palm, lightly tugging the sack. "Oh, God."
"You can do whatever you want," Peter replied, leaning down to kiss Seth again. His lips were gentle now, lightly fluttering over Seth's, and his tongue barely slid inside. "Turn around now, and I will wash your back."
Seth turned, facing the shower spray, closing his eyes to keep the water from hitting them, and felt Peter's strong hands on his shoulders. Peter kneaded his neck, gently but firmly working the muscles with his strong hands, and then trailed them down Seth's back, guiding him forward. Seth leaned in, resting his palms flat against the shower wall as he felt Peter washing the small of his back, and then he sighed as he felt Peter's hands cupping his cheeks. Peter only lingered there for a few moments, his hands running over the firm globes of Seth's butt, and Seth gasped again as he felt Peter's fingers slide briefly into his crack. Peter watched, seeing Seth jump, wondering if this was too much of an intrusion, too much of a presumption, but Seth's legs opened a little and he seemed completely relaxed. Still, Peter wasn't going there yet, and he slid his hands downward as he soaped Seth's thighs and then his calves. Peter was kneeling in the shower now, his face inches away from Seth's ass as he rubbed Seth's feet, and he looked up.
Seth's body was beautiful above him, all of the muscles relaxed, water streaming down his smooth back. His hands were flat against the shower wall, and his head hung down, the shower spray falling directly on the top of his head. He trusted Peter completely, knowing that Peter would never hurt him. Peter was so different from Scott, so much more caring and less selfish. Scott had been all about getting what he wanted, using Seth and then muttering that half-hearted apology, but Peter seemed to want Seth to feel good even more than he cared about his own pleasure. Peter slid his hands up Seth's legs again, feeling Seth spread them open a little more, and then he slid a hand into Seth's crack, tentatively rubbing.
Seth moaned, biting his lip, and pushed himself back against Peter's hand. Peter's finger brushed over Seth's hole, barely touching it, and Seth gasped, his hips jerking. Peter did it again and again, flicking Seth's hole and listening to him whimper, watching his body undulate as he bit his lip. Each time his hips pulled away and each time they slid back, wanting to escape the exquisite teasing pleasure but also needing more of it. Working the soap over his hand again, making sure it was slippery and slick, Peter rested a finger on Seth's hole and then, ever so slowly, started to push. Seth threw his head back, his fingers curling on the shower wall, and then Peter slid inside of him.
Peter didn't have a name for the noise Seth made, something between a whimper and a yelp, a wordless pleading cry, and Seth's back arched suddenly, pushing himself toward Peter, pulling more of Peter inside. Gently, watching carefully, Peter pulled his finger slowly back and then slid it inside again, a little deeper than before. Seth was hot and tight around him, gasping and moaning above him, and Peter felt himself getting hard again at seeing Seth so turned on. Not removing his finger, he stood, and began to kiss the back of Seth's neck and shoulders as he gently fingered him. Seth continued to whimper and groan, letting out a continuous stream of noises as his hips slid back and forth, riding Peter's finger, and his head fell back against Peter's shoulder as Peter added a second finger. Peter looked down over Seth's shoulder and saw that Seth was hard again, his cock sticking out, throbbing and bouncing, but Seth could do nothing for it with his hands braced against the wall.
"Peter," Seth whimpered, falling into a rhythm with Peter's probing fingers, feeling them open him up as he continued the push back into them and then pull away.
"Yes?" Peter asked, kissing the side of Seth's neck and nibbling at his earlobe, his other hand wrapped around Seth to grip his chest, caressing it as he held him in place. Peter's cock, now fully hard, was rubbing against Seth's ass cheek as Peter continued to fingerfuck him.
"Fuck me," Seth whimpered. "Please."
Peter's hand stilled, two fingers still buried inside of Seth, and he sighed.
"I cannot," Peter said finally, and Seth started to pull away from him. Pulling his other hand out, Peter held Seth firmly in place with both hands on his chest, and his lips were right next to Seth's ear. When he spoke again his lips brushed against Seth's skin. "Wait."
"No, I'm sorry," Seth said, still trying to pull away. He wasn't trying very hard, because he had no doubt that Peter could hold him right here if he really wanted to. "I shouldn't have asked you."
"You misunderstand," Peter whispered, his voice calm. One hand was still flat on Seth's chest and the other was spread, palm down and fingers open, on the top of Seth's abs. Peter was leaning into Seth, and Seth still had his arms braced against the shower wall, holding up them both. "I said that I cannot fuck you, but I did not mean that I do not want you. I do, very much. If you haven't figured that out yet, I'm not sure what else I could do to show you."
"Then why?" Seth asked. If Peter wanted to do it, and he wanted Peter to do it, then why weren't they doing it right now?
"I do not ever want to fuck you," Peter said.
The feeling of his lips brushing the sensitive skin by Seth's neck, right next to his ear, was maddeningly erotic. Even though he could feel his whole body pressed against Peter's, and could feel Peter's hard cock pressing against him while Peter's hands managed to hold him in place and caress him at the same time, the lips were turning him on more than anything right now. Despite them being completely naked and wet in the shower, Peter's soft whispering and the feather light dance of his lips as he whispered to Seth seemed incredibly intimate.
"I want to make love to you," Peter clarified. "Not to fuck you. I would not use so ugly a word for what I want to do with you, and when I do make love to you, it will not be like this. Right now we are alone and a little afraid, and we are comforting each other. If that is all that ever comes of this, I will always remember this night, but if you and I are to have more someday, I do not want a small room in a dirty motel to be the way we begin."
Now Seth sighed, understanding what Peter meant, but not particularly happy about his words.
"So that's all I am to you right now?" he asked. "A comfort?"
"No," Peter answered, planting a soft kiss on Seth's neck again. "You are my teammate, you are my friend, and I hope someday you will be more. Right now, I care about you more than I would have thought possible after only a day, but I worry that when this is over, when we return to the mansion, this closeness and this intimacy that we feel may not continue. When we are no longer dependent on each other, I worry that we will feel differently."
Seth nodded.
"I understand," he said quietly. He had been hoping that whatever was happening between him and Peter would mean something, that maybe he meant something to Peter, but Peter had a point. They might just be reaching out to each other because they had no one else to reach out to. "But I don't think I'm going to feel differently."
"I do not think I will, either," Peter said, smiling. The hand on Seth's stomach began to slide lower, pushing through Seth's light blond pubes, and then Peter's fingers began to gently caress Seth's cock, lightly squeezing the head between his thumb and forefinger. Seth let out a little whimper, and Peter began to kiss his neck again. "And if our feelings do not change, perhaps the anticipation will make it that much better."
Seth's only answer was a sigh as his hips began to move, thrusting his cock into Peter's hand. Peter continued consuming the side of his neck, kissing and sucking and nibbling just a little, the sharp little scrapes of teeth sending shocks through Seth's whole body, and then Peter's other hand danced across his chest and began lightly squeezing one of his nipples, tugging it gently away from his chest and then rolling the hard tip between his fingertips. Seth felt like his whole body was on fire now, and he felt his power start to flare up, but he pushed it back down. He wanted to feel this the way Peter felt it, wanted to feel everything the way it really was. He knew it could be different, could be even hotter, but he wanted Peter to want him for himself, not for what he could do to him.
Peter's mouth was drifting back and forth across Seth's shoulders and neck now, working one side and then the other, kissing his way across the skin between. His cock slid into Seth's crack, riding it, and Seth pushed back against him as Peter's able hand continued to stroke him. Peter's fingers kept a tight grip around his shaft, the wet friction playing across the smooth white skin, and the ridge of Seth's cockhead bumped the top of Peter's fingers each time he thrust back to feel Peter's dick slide wetly up his crack. Both of them were moaning now, Seth's high pitched and needy and Peter's a deeper hum, muffled at times by Seth's skin. Seth could feel Peter's hard nipples brushing his back, and Peter's firm arms encircling him. Peter began to thrust harder, pushing into Seth as he slid his cock back and forth through Seth's crack, and Seth's arms began to shake each time Peter leaned forward.
Seth suddenly lost his balance as Peter pulled him away from the wall with one arm, the other working Seth's cock even faster. Peter pulled him backward, still thrusting up, his hard spike squeezed by Seth's firm ass, and Seth was riding Peter now, feeling Peter's hard thighs supporting his own. Seth turned his head, finding Peter's face there, and Peter jammed his tongue into Seth's mouth, both of them moaning. At the same time, Peter squeezed Seth's cockhead, and Seth jerked as he began cumming again, gasping for air. Peter held him in place, feeling him spasm, his hand milking Seth's cock as creamy white cum oozed out of the tip, and they continued kissing until Seth caught his breath and his muscle contractions subsided. Peter gently lowered Seth to the floor of the shower, both of his hands caressing Seth's chest and abs now, and Seth realized Peter hadn't cum.
Reaching back, Seth gripped Peter's thick shaft, feeling it throb in his hand. It somehow felt thicker than it had looked, the skin like a soft velvet coating over a steel club, and Peter groaned loudly as Seth squeezed it. Pulling him forward, Seth slid Peter's cock between his legs and then squeezed them tightly closed, trapping it in a wet tunnel of warm flesh. Peter began to thrust almost immediately, lost in a sudden wave of urgency, feeling the tight grip of Seth's body around him.
"Do it, Peter," Seth whispered, leaning back.
He could feel Peter's hard cock rubbing the underside of his own, the fat head poking at his balls. Peter thrust harder and faster, his hips slamming into Seth's, and Seth's body shook as he braced them against the wall. Each time he slammed forward Peter let out another loud grunt, almost a bellow, and his arms curved upward to grip Seth's shoulders as he thrust into the hot, tight tunnel Seth had created. Seth squeezed his legs together, flexing them, trying to keep his thighs as tight as possible, and suddenly Peter's arms flexed so tightly Seth thought he might break. Peter's thrusting hips lifted Seth off the floor of the shower as he came, a flood of hot cum splattering the inside of Seth's legs. He collapsed against Seth, panting hard, and Seth's arms shook as he supported them both against the shower wall.
At least Peter seemed to realize that Seth was about to drop them, and he collected himself enough to stand. As soon as Seth dropped his arms from the wall Peter grabbed his shoulders and spun him around, one arm draping around Seth's waist to pull him close. Seth looked up at him, his light blue eyes wide and innocent, his almost white blond hair darkened by the water that slicked it down, and Peter leaned in to gently place his mouth over Seth's. They kissed for a few moments, the only sound the shower still spraying down on them, and then Peter pulled back, smiling.
"I believe I have gotten you messy," he said, his fingers lightly caressing the side of Seth's face.
"It's ok," Seth shrugged, his hand resting on Peter's broad chest. "I think my fingers are turning into raisins, though."
"We should get out of the shower, then," Peter grinned.
They playfully dried each other off, interspersing the toweling with a lot of kissing and giggling, but Seth noticed Peter's face darkening a little. They dressed only in their underwear, Seth in his boxers and Peter in his briefs. As much as he enjoyed staring at Peter's bulge, which somehow seemed even larger in the tiny, almost bikini briefs Peter had packed himself into, Seth was more concerned about Peter's face, and the solemn expression that had settled across it. After he hung up the towels in the bathroom, Peter sat down on his bed and motioned for Seth to come over.
"Sit down, please," Peter said, holding out his hand. Seth sat down on the bed, and swallowed nervously when Peter took his other hand and held them both carefully in his larger ones.
"Peter?" Seth asked. Peter was just staring at him, his eyes fixed on Seth's, but his expression was very sad suddenly.
"In the morning, we are going to go to the bus station up the highway from here, and we will purchase two tickets with the remainder of the money I took out," Peter began, and Seth wondered what was so serious about travel plans. "I do not believe the Professor has located anyone to assist us, as he has not mentally contacted either of us. However, I believe that Sabertooth and Toad are far behind us, or else they would have attacked this room by now, so I believe that we will be able to return to the mansion safely."
"That's good, right?" Seth asked.
"Yes, that will be good," Peter answered. "Before we do that, though, I must tell you something. I had thought you would ask before now, but you have not, and I cannot keep this from you any longer. How much of our fight earlier do you remember?"
"What do you mean?" Seth asked. He hadn't thought about the fight at all since he'd woken up in the woods and Peter had answered his questions. "I remember everything up until I passed out. We already talked about that."
Peter sighed, his eyebrows furrowing together a little. He was clearly struggling to find the words to say something else.
"I do not know how to say this," Peter began, and he really didn't. He was about to break Seth's heart, and maybe more than that, but if he didn't do it now the Professor would as soon as they got home. Bad news was always better if it came from someone you liked, and someone who cared about you. "When we went to Savannah-"
"No," Seth said, shaking his head. He knew, suddenly, what Peter was going to say even though he wasn't using his power. He'd managed not to think about it up until now, had somehow allowed himself not to consider it at all, but Peter wasn't going to let him turn away.
"Seth, I was in the house," Peter said, squeezing Seth's hands tightly, pulling them close. Seth's lip was trembling.
"No, it was a trick," Seth said, trying to pull his hands away. He needed to get out of here, to not hear this, to get away from Peter before Peter said it because after he did then it would be true. Right now, it was just an idea. It wasn't real. "It was an ambush. They tricked you."
"Seth, it was not a trick," Peter said, shaking his head again. He could see Seth's eyes watering, could see the panic rushing across his face, and then suddenly his hands were burning. "Seth!"
"Let go of me!" Seth yelled, trying to wrest his hands away from Peter. He felt his power flare up, trying to make Peter let go of him, to free his hands so that he could run, run far away from here. "Let go of me! It isn't real!"
Peter wanted to yell, too. His hands were burning, and now his arms, too. He could feel the heat of the flames, could smell the smoke and under it a ghastly smell like barbecued pork, the smell of meat burning. Every nerve in his brain screamed at him to let go of Seth's hands, but he would not. He knew it was Seth's power, knew it wasn't real, no matter how real it felt. Seth needed to know that his parents were dead, that Sabertooth had torn them apart in the house and that was why Peter had yelled at him not to go into the house. Peter had tried to protect him then, and he hadn't intended to say it now, but the instant he thought it, the second he remembered the scene in the living room, the blood on the walls and the bodies, both bodies, it traveled back through the link to Seth.
"No!" Seth screamed, tears bursting from his eyes.
A wave of pain, rage, loss, and anguish so strong it was a physical blow rocked Peter back across the bed, and then it was gone as he finally let go of Seth's hands and the link was broken. Seth stumbled backward, falling off of the bed, his eyes so wet that he couldn't see Peter as anything more than a blurred form. He didn't know if he had hurt Peter, or even if Peter was unconscious or not. All he could see at that moment was the image from Peter's mind, the image of his parents, his parents on the floor, and they were, they were...
Seth crumpled into a ball on the floor, racked with sobs. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't do anything but cry, and then suddenly he felt strong arms wrapping around him. Peter folded himself around Seth on the floor, his legs around Seth's, his arms holding Seth's arms as he pulled Seth back against his chest. Peter made no attempt to move him, but instead just cradled him, rocking slowly back and forth the same way Seth was, keeping him cocooned in a warm, safe grip.
"I have you," Peter whispered soothingly in his ear.
"I saw!" Seth burst. He thought he was screaming, but it was really just a hissing whisper.
"I know," Peter said, rocking. He could feel Seth shaking and trembling. "I did not mean for you to see that."
"But I saw," Seth keened. His eyes were tightly closed, but it didn't matter. He kept seeing it over and over in his head. "I saw it. I saw them."
"I know," Peter soothed. "I am sorry, so sorry."
"I saw," Seth repeated, tears flowing down his cheeks. He could feel Peter all around him, but it was still the only thing he could say. He tried to speak again, but his voice cracked, failing him.
For a while the only sound in the room was Seth weeping, a wordless, cracking sound that broke Peter's heart as well. A few times he seemed to taper off, but when Peter shifted a little, trying to carry him to one of the beds, Seth just began sobbing again and Peter immediately went back to the rocking. He didn't know what else to do. When they had lost Henry, everyone had expressed their grief in different ways, but no one like this. Ororo might have, but she had locked herself away. If she had cried like this, she had done it behind a closed door, and Peter felt guilty suddenly for not doing more to reach out to her. She had pushed them away and they had let her, but he would not allow that to happen again. He would be here for Seth for as long as Seth needed him.
Eventually Seth slumped limply in Peter's grasp.
"Seth?" Peter asked softly, but there was no answer.
Ever so slowly Peter lifted Seth's head, crooking a finger under his chin, and he saw that Seth's eyes were closed. Carefully, keeping a watch on his face, Peter unfolded himself from around Seth and scooped him up, carrying him to the bed. For a moment he wondered if Seth would want to sleep alone, but then he worried that Seth might wake up in the middle of the night and need something, need someone close by. Peter climbed into bed, still holding Seth with both arms, and stretched out on his side. Sliding a pillow under Seth's head, he turned Seth on his side and slid forward to spoon up against him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in close.
Making a small sound in his sleep, Seth leaned back into him, safe, and soon they were both asleep.
Sometime later, he wasn't sure how long, Peter awoke with a start. Daylight, weak and barely there, was just starting to peek in along the edges of the shades, and Peter thought for a second that this was the longest night in the world. They can't have gotten more than a few hours of sleep, as it had been around midnight when they got to the motel and then they had been awake for at least an hour after that. He felt Seth shaking in his arms, his shoulders hunched together, and realized that it had woken him up. He couldn't see Seth's face, but it felt like he was crying again, or maybe trying not to cry.
"Seth?" Peter whispered softly. It was possible that Seth was asleep, caught in some terrible dream that Peter could easily imagine.
"I'm sorry," Seth whispered, his voice trembling. Peter tightened his arms, pulling Seth in closer, and when he spoke Seth could feel the breath on the back of his neck.
"You do not have to be sorry," Peter soothed.
"I have so many things to be sorry for," Seth argued, not raising his voice.
He sounded resigned, almost defeated. "I should have done something."
"There was nothing you could do," Peter whispered. What had happened to the Rands was over before either of them had gotten to the house, maybe even before they'd gotten to Savannah.
"I don't mean last night," Seth explained. "I mean before, I should have done something. I should have tried harder to find them. Maybe I could have worked everything out, or talked to them, or something."
"They did not want to be found," Peter argued. No good would come of Seth blaming himself.
"But they could have been!" Seth burst. As quickly as it happened, though, the energy already went out of him, and he seemed to wilt in Peter's embrace. "Anyone could have found them. The Professor did, Sabertooth did, I should have. I should have been looking, should have done something."
"What could you have done?" Peter asked. "You and they already had this discussion, and they ran away from you."
"They didn't run away," Seth sighed. "I did. I always do. I run away from everything, and then try to fix it later. If I hadn't run away, if I'd stayed with them in Ohio, maybe, I don't know, maybe."
"Maybe nothing would have changed," Peter countered. "You cannot go back, you cannot undo what has already been done. You know this, Seth."
"But I should have done something," Seth argued, ignoring him. "There are so many things I should have said, stuff that I'm not going to get to say ever. We didn't do it when they were, when I could have said it and it might have mattered. I didn't get to tell them that I loved them, or that I was sorry, or."
His voice trailed off, cracking again, and his shoulders began to shake again as sobs took over. Peter held him tightly.
"Shhhh," Peter soothed, whispering in his ear. "Whatever you needed to say, they know. It doesn't matter now because they know."
The trip home, a long ride on a Greyhound, was nothing like the trip to Savannah had been. They had no bags, no Ipod, and no happy flirtatious traveling mood. Peter bought some magazines at a news stand, but Seth just started listlessly out the bus window for the entire ride, the countryside reflected in his glassy eyes. When Peter spoke to him he answered barely above a whisper, only sharing a few words, insisting that he was fine. When the bus stopped for a while, taking on passengers and unloading at one of the larger cities along the way, Peter purchased sandwiches and a few drinks, but he had to argue Seth into eating one.
"I'm not hungry," Seth whispered, turning away from the wrapped sub Peter held out.
"Seth, you have to eat," Peter argued.
He knew Seth was in there somewhere, the bright, easygoing Seth he'd known for a few hours there, the Seth who was filled with passion and life, but now he felt like he was just watching a shell. He knew it was the grief and the regret, but Seth just seemed defeated, completely pulled in on himself. Peter remembered his vow last night not to let that happen, and held out the sandwich again. He would keep holding it until Seth took it. Seth turned, reading something in Peter's face, and finally took the sandwich. He unwrapped it slowly and chewed mechanically. It seemed to have no taste at all, like chewing up a mouthful of paper, but eating it was easier than arguing with Peter.
More than anything right now Seth just wanted to be left alone. He didn't resent Peter for trying, for reaching out to him and making sure he was all right, but he just wanted to lie down and sleep and stop seeing things behind his eyes. He wanted to think back to other times, when he still lived at home, when his life was still kind of normal, and he couldn't do that with Peter here. He knew that he still cared about Peter, that he felt closer to him than anyone else right now, but when he looked at Peter all it did was remind him that everything was different, everything had changed, and it would never be the same again. Peter's voice and his soft squeeze of Seth's hand shook him out of his thoughts.
"We are here," Peter said, nodding his head toward the window. Seth thought about putting his gloves on, but it just seemed like too much effort.
From the bus station they were supposed to hail a cab to the school, and then they would finally be home. Seth followed Peter slowly down the steps of the bus and then out to the sidewalk, ignoring everyone around them. If he hadn't been lost in his own thoughts, he might have noticed the woman with green and white striped hair following them, watching them closely from behind her sunglasses. Peter, intent on hailing a cab and getting them out of here as quickly as possible, didn't notice her either until she stepped up behind them and waved her hand, and then it was too late. A wave of nausea dropped him to his knees on the sidewalk, which now seemed to be spinning, and he was dimly aware of Seth falling next to him.
"Sabertooth and Toad may have failed, but you will surrender to me," she said, leaning over Seth as she pulled a syringe from her jacket pocket. "You will surrender to Vertigo."
Seth punched her in the face.
To be continued.
Yes, I know Vertigo hasn't ever shown up in the Ultimate universe (at least not yet, anyway), but I think I'm going to start peeling away from the comics a little more now. Also, I know this was long in coming, but I've been out of town a lot. I'm also behind on answering emails, but I think I'll be able to catch up soon.