Nick and Jimmy

"Nick and Jimmy" By The Goblin

This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of Nick Robinson or Jimmy Bennet or any personal knowledge about their private lives.

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Feedback: thegoblin312@gmail.com

Chapter 20

I typed my name into the search engine as we both held our breath. I got two letters into Jimmy's name before the auto search automatically paired us together. I hit return.

The laptop made a whirring sound and the small light on the side flashed a few times. Then there it was. The image of us, from my back porch of all places. Several copies of it, some in black and white, and some were obviously doctored. Our first picture as a couple and there it was.

My heart pounded harder than Chloe led me to believe it would. Our names intertwined with phrases such as "sorry girls." Words that left more questions for most readers than answers.

Before I knew what I was doing I rose to my feet.

"Nick?"

I walked towards the window.

"Nick!"

I turned around to look at him. His handsome, pleading eyes. "I'm sorry...I just...I can't even..."

"Do you want me to shut it off?"

I thought about it for a moment. "No."

He looked at me and seemed to understand. He kept reading. I thought I could keep him safe. I tricked myself into believing that I was in control of everything that could happen to us. I tried to find the strength, the courage, but there was a void where I once felt so strong. Where I once stood proud. My head hung low.

He would have to be the strong one now. He would have to take this bullet for both of us. I knew it was all there, plastered across the screen, I couldn't drag myself over to him to face it. None of it.

I watched his face as emotions shifted, as his eyes followed the words. He would frown at moments, then smile in disbelief, then continue on in confusion.

The sound of the ascending tide on the beach was only broken by the noises he made as he read on.

I let a few minutes pass before I released my impatience. "How many picture captions are there?"

"What do you mean...picture captions?"

"Are you reading a whole story or something?"

I was half joking but when he looked up at me I knew the answer. "There is. Isn't there?"

He nodded.

I looked back at the beach. At the sunset. The beauty of the world with all its ugliness. The feeling of hope and despair. I couldn't take it. I stepped towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Jimmy called after me.

I couldn't answer him, because if I did I knew it would be with a shaky voice. I couldn't look at him, not with watered eyes.

I could hear him get up from the couch but I was already in motion to shut the bathroom door and lock it.

The tears flowed and I was powerless to stop them.

"Nick." Jimmy's muffled voice came through the door.

I shook my head though I knew he couldn't see me.

"Nick. Please?"

I held my breath while trying to speak. "I can't."

I couldn't let him see me like this. I needed to be the strong one. I needed to be the protector. I needed to be there for him. I didn't want him to see how weak I truly was. How scared I was.

"Please...let me in."

It took all of my energy to speak in as normal as a voice as I could, "Give me a few minutes."

"If you don't let me in I'm going to call your mom."

A small laugh escaped through my stress.

"See you're laughing. Just let me in."

I pleaded, "Jimmy..."

"Please. I love you."

Dammit. The words broke my heart in two. I could never deny him. "Hold on a minute."

I looked around and found a tissue dispenser. I blew my nose and wiped the water from my eyes. I unlocked the door and turned around so he couldn't see me as he entered.

I could feel his presence in the room. I could always feel him when he was near.

I rested my hands on the vanity and dropped my head low to stare at the sink. I kept my back to him. It was so quiet I could hear his slow steady breathing.

Tears flowed again and I looked down even harder in case he walked around. I never wanted him to see me like this.

I felt his hand on my back and at first it startled me. Right away I could feel his warmth.

We stood like that for a few quiet moments. A few times he rubbed my back.

"Talk to me."

I shook my head.

"Please?"

With my back still to him I slightly shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know what to say."

He rubbed my back with what felt like his thumb. "You can say anything."

I tried to look down even deeper. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

I shook my head again. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"It's too late for that."

As soon as the words left his full soft lips I looked up into the mirror and realized he could see me the whole time.

I couldn't take it anymore. My legs were weak. My spirit was dying. I reached out for the edge of the large bath tub and was barely able to sit on the side. He stood next to me and my head was level with his chest.

His arms wrapped around me. He held me tight. I was so weak and this person, my heart, had somehow become so strong. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I never sobbed a moment in my life, but I knew quiet tears were wetting his shirt and his forearm.

"I'm so sorry Jimmy."

"Why?"

I could barely get my thoughts together, let alone express them with words. Guilt. Regret. Sadness. Anger.

"Tell me. Why are you sorry?"

"If it weren't for me..."

"No Nick."

"But if I never came..."

"Fuck that..."

"But I ruined everything."

He held me tighter. "No you didn't."

I nodded into his chest.

"No."

I held onto his arm and he pulled me all the way into him. It was weird feeling his face rest on top of my head. With my height I was used to being the one that did this. Used to holding him and unfamiliar with being held.

Jimmy placed his finger beneath my chin, in the same way that I always do to him. I allowed him to pull my face upward. His forehead wrinkled, almost like he was hurt, when we made eye contact. With both of his thumbs he wiped away my tears. Then he leaned down. I closed my eyes, and he kissed me on the eye lid of my smaller eye.

He stood there holding me for a while longer. Until I had the strength to stand up. When I did he handed me a few more tissues and I blew my nose.

Slowly he began to smile.

"What's so funny?"

He looked around the room. "I can't believe I'm going to say this but..."

"But what?" I threw the tissues in the garbage.

His smile grew wider. "I'm okay."

I looked down at the sink again.

"You make me happy, and I'm okay with that."

I didn't understand. I looked back into his forest greens. His compelling gaze.

"I don't care anymore Nick. I'm okay."

"I'm taking something from you."

He frowned up with anger. "No. You're not."

I looked away again. Unable to look him in the eyes. He wouldn't have it and grabbed my face with both hands. Not against my will but with some force.

He smiled again. "I hate that you're making me say this..."

"Say what?"

He let go of my face.

"It's so lame...I can't even say it out loud.

"Fuck that!"

He still didn't say anything.

I decided to use his own tactics against him. "James?"

"Nicholas?"

"Just tell me." I bit my lip. "I love you."

A soft smile grew. "FINE! You've given me more than I ever expected." He kept his gaze and I could feel everything coming from his eyes. "I...I didn't know how unhappy I was...until I found you."

I smiled again but was too embarrassed to keep looking into his wide eyes.

I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose again. "You're right?"

"About what?" He asked.

"If I didn't love you so much that would sound super lame."

"Asshole." His smile widened then he tried to pinch my side. "Are you done crying now?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Yes. Sorry for being such a whiney bitch."

"It's alright. You're so sensitive I'm used to it by now."

I bit my lip. "I bet your ass is sensitive."

"You should know with this monster." He grabbed me roughly between my legs.

I pulled back as it caught me by surprise. I pulled down to the floor, trying to tickle him as much as I could. He curled up into a ball and could barely contain his laughter.

"Stop!" He playfully tried to fend me off but was no match for my size and strength.

I decided it was torture enough but still leaned over him on my hands and knees. Looking deep into his reassuring eyes.

"I love you too." He said.

I leaned down for a soft, simple kiss.

For the rest of the trip, we remained in close contact with our friends and family. According to our friends, everything pretty much died down. Outside of our personal circle it wasn't as big of a story as we thought it would have been.

I guess you would have to search for that information to find it. Outside of a few celebrity news sites, and only for a few days, there wasn't much mention in the main stream of the picture of us.

We rescheduled our return flight so that we would land at LAX after midnight. It seemed like a good idea to avoid being noticed. Our close circle of friends agreed to meet us to ensure there wouldn't be a problem. I called Chloe while still on the plane to make sure that the security gate was completely void of any reporters.

As soon as we walked through the door the first thing I noticed was how much I missed the smell of LA. How much I missed home. Our trip was much needed and gave us time to disappear but homecoming was always a better feeling than everything else.

It took the seven of us two cars to get home. Jimmy and I rode in the back of my own car with Steve driving and Chloe his passenger. We talked about Fiji, and nothing else important. Jimmy told them about the whale shark.

It was almost two a.m. when we pulled into the driveway of my very soon to be former house. Jake, Steve, and Peter carried in our suit cases while Kayla and Chloe walked with us to the door.

Everyone was exhausted. Quiet. We sat in the living room, sunk in our seats.

"So what did we miss?"

"Nothing except everyone thinks you're gay." Chloe said without reservation.

Jimmy and I, at the same time but never lifting our heads from the sofa back, turned our heads to face her. Completely apathetic about the whole damn thing.

"Yeeaahhhh." I said with a sigh.

Kayla sat forward in her seat. "So what are you guys going to do?"

I folded my hands behind my head. "Well first we're going to take a shower. Then probably go to bed."

Kayla looked confused.

"Seriously?" Chloe shook her head, "What is your plan?"

"I'm tired." I let my hand fall from behind my head to Jimmy's knee. He pulled my arm between his knees and I leaned further into him.

Chloe looked at me and then at Jimmy.

Jimmy slightly shrugged his shoulders. "I got nothing."

"How can you two just act like nothing is happening."

"Well what the fuck do you want Chloe?" Steve said.

She shook her head some more, "I was...all of us we're worried. The whole time. The whole damn time you were gone."

I opened my mouth to say something but Steve cut me off. "Well now you can see that they're fine."

Jimmy began to say something.

"They're not fine they're in denial." Chloe said.

I held up my finger to...

"Now you can read minds?" Steve asked.

"It doesn't take a mind reader jackass!"

"Hey!" I said loudly.

All eyes on me.

"Calm down. We're tired. Everyone is."

"I'm sorry." Chloe said. "I'm just, I'm worried for you. Both of you."

Jimmy leaned over to hug her which was something he rarely did.

Chloe grimaced in discomfort. "Okay, I can see why you need a shower."

"Hey!" Jimmy said.

"Really." I said. He always smells good.

"Not really," Jake said.

Kayla gave him a look. "You're one to talk."

"Neither are you." Jake said.

I held my hands up in the air. "Yes, yes, everyone smells very bad. Now we love you all, we would love it if you stay the night." I pointed towards the living room closet. "You know where the shit is, we need to get this shower thing so we can sleep thing."

"What?" Chloe asked.

"Exactly." I said. "Good night everyone."

We took a shower together but didn't say much. Neither of us had the strength for anything more than to just make it to bed and pass out.

We slept for a little over ten hours. Ten, gone in the blink of an eye.

I was usually the first one up but I could feel his movement as he got out of bed. I opened my eyes and watched him walk to the window. He didn't know that I was awake.

He stretched and opened the shade a crack to look out. I smiled at this familiar ritual.

If it weren't for the major jetlag, everything would have felt like it was back to normal again.

"What are you smiling at?"

"What else?"

He smiled. "It's too early to be a smart ass."

Then he looked back through the slit in the shade. The light forming a stripe over his brilliant green eyes.

"You're right."

"Really? No argument?"

"I'm too tired."

"I'm sure, I woke up before you today."

"I know." I rolled so that my face was buried into the pillow. Then I pulled the blankets over me.

"Are you cold?" Jimmy asked.

I nodded my head as I turned to face him again. He was only wearing underwear.

"Aren't you cold? Seriously who has the air on?"

"Do you want me to go shut it off?" He asked.

I nodded again.

Jimmy opened the bedroom door a crack then shut it quickly. "Shit they're already awake."

"Who?"

He didn't answer. He searched my room.

"What are you looking for?"

"Something to wear out in the living room."

"Wear my robe."

"That thing is big on you I'm sure it'd be huge on me."

"Then go like that." I said as I allowed my eyes to go downward.

"Right. I'm sure no one wants to see my junk."

I stretched out my arms and returned them under the blankets to keep them warm. "They're missing out."

He opened my drawers and found a pair of pajama pants. He was ungraceful as he put them on one leg at a time. Then out the door, making sure it was closed behind him.

I could hear talking through the door then the Vent in my bedroom stopped making noise.

A few seconds later and he was back.

"Are you just going to lie there all day?"

I shook my head and held up the blanket for him. "We're going to lie here all day."

He sat on the bed.

"Pants." I said and he took them off.

We were both in our underwear under the blankets. He was snuggled with his back into me. I grew slightly hard at the feeling of his soft ass muscles flexing every so often.

I ran my fingers through the back of his hair. It was brittle and dry.

"Seriously," he said, "what are we doing today?"

"I don't know."

"We have to face life sooner or later."

I kissed the back of his head. "I know. Just not yet."

We lay in silence a few minutes. I was starting to fall back asleep when a knock came at my bedroom door.

"I'm making food." Steve said. "Are you guy's hungry?"

"Yes." Jimmy said before I could say anything.

"Okay. Everything will be done in about ten minutes."

"Good I'm starving." Jimmy said only loud enough for me to hear.

"Me too but I was hoping to have something else for breakfast."

He laughed.

"Don't laugh at me."

"When you talk like a porn star from the 80s I'm definitely going to laugh."

"How do you know what a 80s porn star talks like."

"They have this awesome thing called google now. It's pretty much been around most of our lives."

"Hey now James."

"What?"

"It's too early to be a smart ass."

I could see him smile though he mostly faced away from me. "You're right."

After a few more minutes of cuddling we got up to face the day. Face the world.

"Where's Peter, Kayla, and Jake?" I asked.

"They had to work. Other people have lives you know." Chloe said.

"It's too early to be a smart ass." I said.

Jimmy smiled as he sat down at the breakfast bar.

I looked at Chloe as she beat eggs in a bowl. Steve was at the stove cooking pancakes.

"Since when do you two work together?" I asked.

"Since neither of you could get out of bed on time."

"I didn't know it was time to get up for school, mom."

She just made a face then pushed the bowl of eggs around the counter to where Steve had all of his cooking ingredients.

I didn't want to ruin the mood so I had to think of something nice to say. "It smells good."

I sat on the stool next to Jimmy as Kayla poured us coffee. Jimmy added a ton of sugar to his but I left mine black.

Just then something hit the door. Jimmy, Chloe, and Steve all startled looked at the door.

"It's just the morning paper."

"Who reads the paper anymore?" Chloe asked.

"I asked the same thing." Jimmy said before taking a sip of his coffee.

I looked at both of them with a smile, "and I'll give the same answer, I do."

"Nick's always been old school." Steve said. "Even when we were kids."

Chloe laughed. "Every time I hear about your childhood the story of you just gets lamer and lamer."

"Hey now."

"Seriously, you're an old man stuck in a young body."

"I just like to keep things simple."

"Uh huh."

Steve shut off all the burners and began to place way too much food on the bar.

I looked down at the stacks of pancakes, the hoard of sausage and the big bowl of eggs. "I read somewhere that twenty five percent of all food produced is wasted."

Chloe said, "I thought it was a third."

Jimmy began to pile on his plate, "Not in this house."

I was mildly hungry but I filled my plate anyway. I wanted to get in a workout at some point during the day and I could use the carbs.

"I'm so tired of being inside all the time." Steve said.

"You didn't get out much while we were gone?"

He looked at all three of us. His answer a little short and weird. "No."

"Why not?" Jimmy asked.

"No reason." Steve said. "Maybe we can go for a walk on the beach after breakfast?"

"I have no clean clothes." Jimmy said.

Steve looked at him, "Wear something of Chloe's."

All three of us looked at Steve.

"What? It might fit."

"No my clothes will be too big for him."

"Wow." I said. "You guys haven't seen us for how many days and all you can do is insult my boyfriend."

"It's how we show our love."

"Besides," I said, "I think we've had our fill of the beach for a while."

"I could never get tired of the beach." Jimmy said.

"You never get tired of anything." Chloe said.

"I get tired of you."

"Whoa Jimmy. Calm down."

"You're right, I might need you to borrow me an outfit or two."

Then Jimmy dropped his fork.

I had to finish chewing my bite before I could ask him, "What's wrong?"

"Oh...my...god!" Jimmy said.

"What?" Chloe asked.

The smile on Jimmy's face grew very wide.

"Spit it out boy."

He took a smug drink of his coffee then looked Chloe dead in the eyes. "Just how many outfits do you have here anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Chloe nervously asked.

Steve straightened his posture.

"How would Steve know you have clothes here? Unless they're in his drawer."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I fucking knew it." I said out loud. "When I talked to you on the phone in Fiji, you helping him with breakfast, Steve not leaving the house. I knew something was going on."

"Nothing's going on." Chloe was a bad liar.

"Really?" Jimmy asked. "Curling iron burn on your neck there?" I'm sure forensics could match it back to Steve's mouth."

Chloe kicked Jimmy under the counter.

"Ow! That hurts you know."

Chloe looked at Steve then at me and Jimmy. "So fucking what?"

"We've had our suspicions for a while." I said holding up my cup of coffee in a toast like manner before winking at Chloe.

"Chloe," Jimmy said, "its okay."

"Then why are you guys making such a big deal out of it?"

"No seriously." Jimmy looked at Steve. "I'd definitely hit it."

"Hey now." I said.

Steve almost choked on his coffee. "Uh dude..."

"Be quiet Steve," Jimmy said, "Look, he's young, he's funny, he's hot, and I've seen him stretch in pajama pants more than once.

"Dude what the fuck?" Steve asked.

"Be quiet Steve," Chloe said, "Then why is this such a big deal?"

I looked at Chloe, "because you hate Steve."

"Seriously people! I cook you this great breakfast the least you can do is talk like I'm in the room."

Jimmy smiled. "Oh! Don't get upset."

"Dude you're talking about my dick."

"You totally are." I said.

"We're all adults here, let's not skirt around the obvious." Jimmy said before taking another bite of his breakfast.

"Really," I said, "its okay. You guys don't have to hide shit from us. We don't hide what we do from you."

"Maybe you should." Chloe said.

Steve looked at her and said, "Seriously, do you know how many nights I've had to fall asleep with my head phones on?"

"Bull shit." Jimmy said. "We're not loud."

"Riiiight. Then how is it that I know you're the bottom in this mix."

Chloe covered her ears, "Eww, eww, eww!"

"Hey! Jimmy said. "You're not supposed to say things out loud.

Chloe laughed. "Oh what happened to the whole we're all adults thing."

"Well now we're talking about me. Being a bottom."

"Well..." I playfully said.

"Uh huh you're one to talk. You've taken it once or twice." Jimmy said.

"What the hell Steve said as he put his fork down."

I looked at Chloe. "It's true."

"How did we get here?" Steve asked. "I don't need to hear all this."

Jimmy looked at him. "You took us here, when you made that extremely tasteful joke about me wearing something of Chloe's."

Steve caught my eyes.

"Don't look at me, he's right, you totally started it."

I finished off my coffee and couldn't eat another bite.

Just then another sound was at my door. I jumped up just as the door began to open. It freaked me out. Not just myself but everyone in the kitchen area.

Yesenia walked in with a caddy and a duster. The look on her face was of surprise at how we all stood up to look at her.

"Good morning." She said with a questioning look.

"I forgot you were coming today." I said.

"It is Wednesday." She said still looking around at everyone's startled expressions.

"How was your trip Nicky?"

"I looked at Jimmy. It was good."

Jimmy washed some clothes while I went to my workout. Chloe and Steve picked up in the kitchen while Yesenia did her normal dusting around the rest of the house.

After Yesenia had left we all took showers and headed for the beach.

The temperature was a cool 60 degrees so we didn't get close to the water. We walked just close enough so that our shoes wouldn't get wet. We wore hoodies and Jimmy looked adorable in my tightest one as he swam in it.

"Winter always feels so gloomy." Jimmy said.

"It's not winter yet." Chloe said.

"This is winter for you guys?" Steve asked.

Chloe looked at him, "yeah not like the blizzards you and Nick get back home."

"Actually it rarely snows in Seattle." Steve said.

"Really?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah." I said. "Were surrounded by the ocean, the weather is a lot like in London."

"I've never been to London." Jimmy said.

"We'll go next summer." I said.

"Seriously? How can you afford to do whatever you want?"

"He's rich." Steve said.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are." Chloe laughed.

"I'm just lucky."

"Talented." Jimmy said running a finger down my green hoodie sleeve.

"Lucky." I said again.

"Good afternoon kids."

All four of us turned to see where the voice had come from. It was a voice that I found very familiar. In the presence of the people I cared about, I almost forgot about the whole damn thing.

The waves were the only sound that broke the silence. Neither of us spoke as we stared on at the source of mine and Jimmy's turmoil.

"Boys. How are you two today?"

I looked him up and down, almost ready to attack. "I almost didn't recognize you without your khaki jacket."

...to be continued...

I know I've been absolutely awful at updating this story as frequently as I said I would. In June I got a new job that came with a major promotion and my 9-5 had pretty much become 7-6 so by the time I get off the El Train I'm ready to just lounge around, and stare at Netflix.

I am continuing on with this now. Got everything covered at work and am well integrated and finally after two months am back to having extra time again.

Alas, however, this story is nearing its end. I originally said I would only take this through fifteen chapters but in order to finish it and do it justice, I have about five-ish more to go.

Thank you to everyone who has read and commented. Without your feedback, support, and constant death threats, I don't think I would have made it this far. I think of you all often, though it may seem like I have abandoned you at such a high point.

I love you all

Feel free to provide feedback: thegoblin312@gmail.com