"It's a date," Taylor said, not so enthusiastically.
"No, it's me asking you if you wanna go see a movie."
"That's a date."
"Friends see movies all the time together. Not everybody who goes to the movies is on a date ya know," I told him, trying not to let him know that I, if he accepted to go, would actually think of it as a date.
He didn't say anything. He averted his eyes, as if considering what to say & what to do.
"Friends, Nick. Friends."
I grinned.
"Well of course. It's not like your gay or anything," I poked.
"Yeah well, if you keep messing with me, I might start thinking that I am," said Taylor.
"Then let's start messing around." I slowly, jokingly of course, ran a hand down his chest while my other arm crept towards him. He jerked away from me. Not super quickly like he would have in the past, but moderately normal. I cackled. I was a jerk sometimes. And I loved it.
"When?" he asked me.
"Well, later tonight, I can convince my folks to go out & then you can come over & we can start to undress, maybe kiss a little, we could probably..." I dreamed.
"Very funny. I meant when is the movie?" he cut me off.
"I don't know. Seven thirty?"
"Sure."
"Cool," I said. "I really wanna see that movie Obsessed, with Beyonce. Oh my god, she's amazing."
He rolled his eyes.
"I'd like to see it just because I've heard it's a good movie. So yeah, we can meet there at 7:30."
"Ok pretty boy, see ya then," I smiled. I started walking towards my bus to go home. It was the end of the day & I had a lot to look forward to tonight.
"And Nick..." I heard Taylor call. I turned around to see what he needed.
"Friends only. No pulling a smoke & making this into a date," he said, narrowing his eyes at me, making sure I got the message.
I took my index finger & my middle finger, & crossed them. Then I brought them up to my mouth, pretending to take a smoke.
"If you say so," I called back.
He nodded & walked off.
I grinned & looked at my fingers.
Crossed.
I waited for Taylor for about 20 minutes at the cinema, a little pissed off, to put lightly. I had bought both tickets, bought a large popcorn, some Sour Patch Kids & a large blue slush for me, which by now I had finished. I began to walk towards the theater with my head down. I probably looked stupid carrying all that crap by myself, when in reality, I had hoped that I would have shard it with somebody.
I made my way towards the theater. When the usher asked me for my ticket, I reached in my pocket & ended up pulling out both tickets. I gave him mine & he ripped it.
"Is that yours?" he asked, pointing to the second ticket.
I looked at it in my hand & thought of throwing it out.
"Um...sort of. If a boy my age with medium length blond hair & green eyes comes, can you make sure I gave his ticket to you already?" I asked.
"Sure," he said, taking the ticket & putting it on the podium in front of him.
"Thank," I said, unhopeful.
I walked into the theater, found a good seat & sat down. The previews, which were usually one of my favorite parts, were just starting. They would last a good half hour.
I sat back, put my refreshments in their placements & watched.
Alone.
I felt my arm being tugged, but I ignored it. It was tugged again & this time I swatted whatever was grabbing me away. It stopped, but if only for a second. A sharp pain in a specific spot suddenly jolted me awake. Who the hell was pinching me?
"Let's go, the next viewing is starting," said a blurry voice in front of me. I rubbed the groginess out of my eyes. There was that nasty crusty stuff under my eyes & I felt a slight trail down my cheeks, like a crusy little snake or something. My face had been wet. Weird. Had I cried myself to sleep? I looked at who was talking to me.
"Taylor!"
"Yeah. C'mon, get up, we can't keep sit here all night," he said, grabbing my arms & pulling me up. When I was awake enough, I started walking behind him out the seats & out of the theater.
"You missed the movie," I hissed at him.
"Actually, YOU missed the movie," he said, unaffected by my tone.
"So I fell asleep, big fucking deal. You stood me up Taylor. Thanks a lot," I said, feeling some of the pain creeping back into me.
"First off, you cried yourself to sleep, you didn't just drift off."
I glared at him while we kept walking to the exit.
"I think I had a pretty good reason to. You never showed up. How would you know I cried anyway?" I felt a small knot in my throat. I was starting to get emotional.
"SECOND," he continued, ignoring me, "I DID show up. I showed up when the opening credits were just finishing. I bought a ticket hoping you were here & then the usher out front told me to get my money back because apparently, some kid told him to hold onto a ticket for a kid who has medium length blond hair & green eyes. I came in here & found you sitting here."
"So...you actually came?" I asked, unsure of what I was hearing.
"Yeah. I saw you & wondered why you had your eyes closed. Then I kinda saw some tears & I figured...you must have been pretty upset at me..." Taylor replied. He seemed to have trouble with the last sentence.
"I...thought you weren't coming. I waited & waited but then I just went in."
"I'm sorry I was late meeting you. I got held up at work," he said.
"What do you do?"
"I tutor elementary school kids down at the youth center. I went over my time a little bit. I usually don't but I just lost track of time Nick. I'm sorry," he said, trying to smile off an apology.
"That's ok. I was upset because I thought you just stood me up & decided not to go."
"Nope. I came. I also ate the whole popcorn & the Sour Patch Kids since you didn't have any," he chuckled.
I smiled.
"Ok then."
"I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"No, don't. You came & I fell asleep. I'll make it up to you. I'll take you to Lenny's either this week or next week. How 'bout it?" I said.
Lenn'y was a fairly nice restaurant on the other side of the city. I had only been there a couple times for special events.
"Sure."
"As friends, right?"
He didn't seem to connect the words at first. He snapped out of it though & nodded his head.
"Yeah."
"Cool. See ya then."
I must have been pouring out happiness because my folks asked me why I seemed to be in such a good mood later that night.
"Well, I have a date either this week or next week," I told them at dinner.
"Really? With who?" asked my dad.
"Dou you guys remember Taylor Kips?"
They seemed to think about it for a moment.
"No, should we?" said mom.
"Well he was the kid who started all the bullying when everyone found out I was gay."
"Ahh."
"Well anyway, I have a date with him at Lenny's coming up."
My dad had a confused look on his face.
"Wait, Nick is he even gay?"
"Yeah. I mean, he doesn't know it yet, nor does anybody else. But still..."
"Sweetheart, you can't date someone if they're not into you like that."
"But he IS. He's a closet case mom. I'm just foolin' with him until he comes out."
Both my parents narrowed their eyes at me.
"Not THAT kind of fooling around guys. I mean I'm taking it slow & making sure he's comfortable no matter what."
"Honey, I don't think you should be playing games with this boy, it's not fair to him."
"It's not fair that he's gay & yet he's spent the last two years harassing me. I think it's even now. Now, we're BOTH going against the norm."
My dad rolled his eyes.
"Just know what you're doing. I'm just waiting for this to backfire," he said.
Later that night, I was so excited about my date....er, "time together" with Taylor...that I started looking for clothes that I thought would look nice & appealing, but at the same time, not look like I was dressing up for a date.
I was making progress with Taylor, but I still had a while to go before I could get him to bring himself out of the closet. Getting him on a date to the movies & now at dinner...! That was the step of making him comfortable being out with a guy, even though he thought of it as a friend. Next, he had to feel comfortable being around other gays. After that, Taylor needed to know whether the people around him would supportive if SOMEBODY they knew was gay. Then, the boy has to find out the good things about being gay in the first place & how great it can be. Lastly, he needed to tell himself that.he.is.gay.
That was the plan, all those things. Sure, I liked Taylor. Was actually kind of falling for him actually. But I didn't care if anything started between us. All I wanted was for people to be comfortable with themselves either as a gay person, or an advocate for gay rights.
Whether or not anything would happen between us during my five step program was up for grabs. It wasn't my plan to start a relationship with Taylor Kips, but if it somehow happened, then let nature run it's course, even though some argue, it's not natural.
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