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My nervous energy was off the charts throughout the day. In contrast to the previous day my good roommate decided to attend every single group therapy lesson rather than stay in bed, knowing full well I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. Maybe I'm crazy but I felt like he was trying to tease me.
Throughout the game we were playing in class he kept rubbing his hand up and down on one pants leg, periodically looking over at me with a stoic look on his face. Tension kept building in my chest. He started to slowly push his shoes on the floor like I had in the cafeteria at breakfast, turning so that his open legs were facing me while doing so. I was beginning to get horny and that was not good.
Then, at one point I looked over to see that he had let his hand rest on his crotch. When he noticed I was looking me ran his finger up the seam of his zipper. I jumped up and almost ran out of the room, power walking to my room. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, trying to slow my breathing. Fuck I wanted this dude so bad. I wanted him to face fuck me like we had tried earlier. I wanted him to fuck the hell out of me. Fuck.
Bam, a hand on my shoulder and I turned around, only to be face to face with Nick, inches away.
"You left class." He noted. His gravelly voice was so sexy to me.
"Yeah, I... I didn't feel good.
Sw*stika boy just smirked at me. "I'll bet you didn't."
He ran his finger down the middle of my chest, dragging it down my shirt and stopping at my waistband. I panted heavily; I looked up at him, pleadingly.
"Nick... Nick."
"What?" He asked innocently, smiling evilly.
"We can't... you know they'll check the room."
I was desperate because I knew by now that I'd do absolutely anything he wanted me to but I wished to God that wasn't the case. Nick licked his lips, I felt my cock jerk in my sweatpants. He moved forward, closer and closer. His face was right next to mine, cheek to cheek, and he was breathing in my ear, ragged and deep.
"Please." I murmured.
I could hear and feel him chuckle.
"Okay my good friend. It's whatever you want brother." He whispered into my ear, tickling it with his breath as he did so. Then, he slowly removed his face, brushing his lips against my face as he did so in a kind of half kiss.
I was shaking. My roommate just smiled at me and gave me two thumbs up and left the room. I went and sat on my bed and practiced deep breathing. Straight? What the fuck was going on? I understood that many straight guys were curious and wanted to try stuff with guys, or didn't see a mere blow job or jerking off together to mean anything. But this was almost emotional. It was a connection. On my end at least. Was he just playing with me? A guy with nzi tattoos no less, what was up with those? How could he be sexually and... possibly emotionally attached to guys and be a fucking nzi? Was it just a prison thing? I was scared to ask.
On our cigarette break I made sure to be right behind him cause I knew he'd light my cigarette and I could shove my face close to his big hands. I was such a perv. His hands smelled good too. Not even sure what they smelled like, but they smelled good. I didn't look up at him and walked away quickly to talk to Zack and some other people while I smoked the shitty cigarettes they provided for us. I had sat with him at lunch and almost been caught with him in the bathroom (well, I was caught), and then he followed me to our room in the middle of group therapy. I didn't want to arouse any suspicions and I assumed he appreciate the space.
He was talking to some of the older on the unit which made me feel okay. At least it wasn't anyone our age. I hate to admit that I can sometimes get jealous no matter how chill I try to be. And I think I usually do a good job. But it can creep in. But all of this is beside the point.
Later on, when they handed out snacks, I made sure to get mine to give to Nick. I thought he'd appreciate it. I couldn't find him in the common room so I brought it to him room and set it on his beside table. The shower was running. I looked over at the curtain that separated the bathroom from the bedroom and noticed a crack where it didn't quite touch the door frame. I could see Nick standing naked, his ass facing me. He had a nice ass. Slightly hairy and round. I looked up to find that he was looking in the mirror, looking straight at me; our eyes locked. Before I could walk away, embarrassed, he turned and reached out- he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bathroom with him, carefully closing the curtain behind him. I felt tension rise through my gut to my chest and radiate outward into my arms. Nick turned to face me and put a finger to his lips to signify 'shhh'. I smiled weakly in return. He pulled me into the shower with him and closed this curtain behind us as well, sealing us into a rainworld of shadows and streaming water and steam. The water was so hot. I practiced breathing slowly, standing still and waiting for him to make a move, but he merely started to wash himself with soap, handing it to me after he did his chest and armpits, then turning to get the shampoo. I lathered myself up as well. Then, he turned to face me and pointed at his cock. It was soft but still rather large, around 5 inches.
Guessing what he wanted, I put some soap in my hand and started to wash his crotch. I lathered his thick pubic hair with the liquid soap and then moved downwards. I gripped his cock and pulled soap down onto it, using a pulling motion to clean it. He slowly hardened. I moved downwards and cleaned his ballsack as well, then moved my finger underneath it towards his ass. He grabbed my wrist; I looked up at him, querying. He was shaking his head no, he pushed my arms to my sides and shoved me lightly into the shower wall. He then began to lather up his own hands and reached down, grabbing my already mostly erect dick. He was staring straight into my eyes as he gripped my cock, jerking me off using the soap. I groaned in pleasure and he laughed. His eyes were so beautiful as he searched my face for every little change I made while he jacked me off. He was just so incredibly handsome, and I'm sure he could read something in my expression because he put one hand on the shower wall above me, leaned in and began to kiss me while continuing to lather my erect soldier up and down, up and down.
I moaned into his mouth and he laughed into mine, taking the opportunity to strike his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues fought viciously; I was overwhelmed with pleasure. As he went faster and faster I tried to push him off of me, telling him danger was on the horizon but he only grinned at me and kissed me again. Then it came- I mean, I did. I shot one of the biggest loads of my life, all over his stomach and up to his chest, even hitting his throat. As my motor slowed my ejaculations did as well, covering his hand and dripping down onto his own cock and his legs.
"Sorry." I managed to breathe out, shuddering and falling into his chest; he caught me and held me up, smiling at me.
"You're absolutely insane." He said. I laughed at that one. Me? Insane? "You're gonna have to clean me off again." He continued. I chuckled. Of course.
I got some more soap and cleaned his chest, going down slowly until I reached his dick; however when I tried to return to favor he stopped me, saying "No I'm good man. I want to get into bed."
I was dumbfounded. This was a complete inversion of the way the situation usually went with 'straight' men. They usually wanted you to suck em off and then they were done with you. He could tell I was shocked because he smiled and kissed me.
"I'm tired." He offered up.
When we got out of the shower we toweled each other off. When I got to his tattoo I slowed down. He winced, but it was now or never.
"What's with the sw*stika?" I asked him, attempting to sound as nonchalant as possible.
"Man... my dad is in the Aryan brotherhood." He told me, sounding almost apologetic.
"Oh."
"Yeah dude, it doesn't matter. Honestly I don't care about this shit. It's fine." I smiled at him.
"Can I kiss you?" I asked suddenly. He grinned.
"You already did." He joked.
I kissed him again. He broke this kiss and reached down, grabbing my underwear. I protested that they were mine but he ignored me. I reached down and pulled my foot up, slipping my boxers onto my leg, then did the same with the other leg and pulled my boxers up over my dick. I felt vulnerable. He took my shirt and pulled my arms up over my head and then pulled my sleeves over my arm and my shirt down over my chest. I'm not sure why, but him putting my clothes on me seemed more intimate than anything we had done so far, and to be clear I had had both his cock and his tongue in my mouth. I couldn't explain it, but it was just so... personal. I stared at his beautiful hair as he reached down to grab my pants. I lifted my leg up for him and he began to put my pants on me for me. He pulled them up and zipped them up and then buttoned them.
I stared into his eyes as he looked up at me. He laughed nervously, not sure what he saw in my face.
"I... I..."
"What?"
"Nothing, I just. Thanks. Thanks." I had no idea what I even wanted to say, but whatever it was, I couldn't say it. He patted my arm, then said,
"Look dude, I'm getting cold here. Could you hurry up?" I laughed in relief, thankful he was so unserious most of the time. I pulled his boxer-briefs onto him slowly, up his legs and over his balls and then his cock and over his pubic hair. I made sure it was on his waist correctly. He snickered.
"You love my cock so much dude. You're like my bitch or something." I grinned.
"Or something. Not really." He had a laugh at that one. Following his example I put his shirt onto him next. I couldn't help but notice how thick and dark his armpit hair was, which aroused me. I wished I'd spent more time on them in the shower.
Next I got his sweatpant pulled them over each foot, enjoying the time I spent touching his big feet. His feet were at least 2 or 3 sizes larger than mine, with hair on the top of his foot and on each toe. I couldn't let him know how much I liked his feet though, I was sure he'd think I was a freak. Well, more than he already did. I pulled his pants up over his hairy legs, letting the waistband catch on his bulge before pulling it over. Nick smiled at me, and I admired his beautiful lips, something I hadn't noticed before; his cute nose, his eyelashes, his big ears. Everything about him was cute. Fuck. I was so totally fucked, thinking this way. I couldn't let myself get attached, I knew I'd only end up hurt. He was a straight n*zi lad for christssake.
Nick went and got into his bed, pulling his blankets over him immediately. He was going to sleep, but I wasn't so lucky. My brain was going at thousand miles per hour and I just wanted it to stop. I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to get in bed with him and sleep next to him, feeling his breath on my shoulder all night long.
I was completely, totally fucked.