Should you reading this? This story contains descriptions of sexual interactions between consenting males and if its illegal where you are then, don't do it! If someone says you cant and doesn't have a good reason however, then I quote my favourite author on this site, "Fuck Em" try it, you never know! I do occasionally use derogatory terminology in my work, and I apologize if this causes offence to anyone. It's not meant that way at all. Also sorry for any spelling mistakes, I get a little dyslexic at times.
No Control: Part 4
DANIEL
I was still standing next to the truck when the ambulance showed up. It had taken 12 minutes to get here. Twelve minutes of staring at Maxs blood dripping from his limp fingertips onto the windshield. Twelve minutes of starring at his chest, praying that it would move, that a raspy breath would crawl from his cold lips and give me some sign that he was still alive. But nothing had happened, and now my dad was pushing me away, giving the paramedics some room to move. One of them was kneeling next to Max, his gloved fingers pressed against his neck. The next words uttered would haunt my dreams forever.
"John Doe, Pronounced dead at 13:37, Monday, December 7th."
I felt a cry tumble from my lips, and I tore free of my dads hands and ran to the truck, pushing the paramedic aside and falling to my knees next to Max, who was still hanging upside down from the truck. There was so much blood... so much... I shoved the thought aside and grasped Maxs limp hand.
"No Max... No. You cant go away yet. I'm finally with you, you cant just leave like this!" I started crying, and grasped his hand all the tighter, my sobs echoing across the barren landscape, the stark white snow all around and the puddle of crimson I was crouched in barley registering in my mind. I felt firm hands on my shoulders trying to pull me away, but I refused to let go. I would never let go. Then suddenly, I abruptly stopped crying, and my eyes widened and I allowed myself to be dragged away. Max had squeezed my hand.
MAX
Agony. Pain the likes of which I, who had courted pain all my life, had never thought possible. Surly I was dead. No I was just resting... I couldn't remember. I heard someone shout something, then all was quiet again and I was floating, floating alone with my pain in the interminable blackness. I saw this a macabre representation of my life, alone and in pain. It had always been this way, and it always would.
But... some errant thought slipped from my mind before I could fully grasp it. Alone again. I was always alone it seemed. And in pain. My stomach felt like it had hot needles stabbing at it from every direction, and my arms felt heavy, as if they were hanging. That thought again... then there was a voice. It was a callous voice, saying something I couldn't make out coming from an unfamiliar mouth. That voice... then a wail. It was the most heart wrenching thing I had ever heard. I wondered what could have made someone so sad as to utter such a sound. Then there was a fiery pain in my hand, it felt like it was being crushed. But I didn't mind for some reason. Even though it hurt, it was somehow comforting. Then another voice. I could make this one out somewhat. "...you cant just leave like this!"
Leave? Where was I going? Would my dad be there? Would I be safe for once? Would someone love me? I suddenly felt that I needed to send some sign to this voice that was crushing my hand, some type of signal that I wasn't leaving yet. I summoned all the strength my body had to offer and tried to move my hand, but as far as I could tell, nothing happened. I felt hopeless, I decided to just float in the painful blackness for awhile, and be alone with my agony.
DANIEL
I sat in the hospital bed, my eyes no longer capable of producing tears, and I felt hopeless. I looked at Max and almost started crying again, despite having no more tears to offer. He looked horrible. His head was still covered in bandages, both from the concussion he had received in the car crash, and from a huge gash running from right above is right eye and down to midcheek. The doctors said they had taken one of his eyes out because it was to badly damaged. He currently had a catheter and multiple tubes coming from his stomach and groin areas, they were keeping him alive I knew, because of the bullet that had torn through his abdomen. His left arm had been shot twice, once in the shoulder and once in the wrist, but they had fixed that up well enough. He had taken a bullet in the chest as well, but by some miracle it had missed all internal organs. And the crash had broken him as well. He had 7 broken ribs and he hadn't woken up from his coma since that day, which was 4 days past now.
What shocked me most of all was the lack of people here at the hospital for him. There was me, I hadn't left his side yet, and Alexis and both our families. His mother had been contacted, but she was apparently too busy (too busy!) to see her son who may give up at any point and be lost forever. His dad had disappeared, and no one knew where he had gone, not even Maxs step mom and sister.
And no one else. Max had no friends, no other family, nothing. I hadn't realized he was this alone. The doctors said he may never wake up, and that there was no way to tell if he would, and that I should probably go home and get some rest. Fuck them. My mom had found a book that Max had left at my house, so he could read it when he was over, and brought it to me. I read to him every night before I went to sleep, sometimes for hours. The book was a fantasy story, with elves and magic and dragons. I hated to read, but I found it soothing to focus on something, and I think it helped him. I had to believe that. Had to believe he could hear me and was enjoying the story of daring heroes fighting evil wizards. I sat there now, looking at him, or what little I could see past the bandages, and I felt an emptiness.
What love could we have know? Would we have lived together, maybe adopted some kids? Would Max have gone to college, grown up and been a huge success? Even if it wasn't me, would he have found someone to love and make him happy? Who knew, because the doctors said he probably wouldn't wake up. I stood and opened the blinds, letting the bright sunshine pour in. Max winced and turned his head away from the light and I closed the blinds... wait. He winced! He moved! I rushed to his bedside and knelt there, holding his un-bandaged right hand. His head rolled over to look at me and I looked into his eye.
"Dan..."
I just smiled and felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I guess I did have some left after all.
"...do you still think I'm handsome?"
It was a weird question, and I had no idea where it came from. But I felt that it was important somehow to him, that if I said no, he would just give up. He needn't have worried though. I loved this boy, and no matter if I had to cart him around in a wheelchair for the rest of my days, I would.
"Max, I think you're the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes upon."
Max smiled and closed his eye. I thought he had fallen asleep but he suddenly spoke up. "How bad a shape am I in?"
"Pretty bad... You got shot four times and broke pretty much everything. But Don't worry about that now. Do you know what happened?"
Max opened his eye and turned to me again. Ignoring my question, he asked me in a shaky voice "Where's my dad?"
"No one knows, he just kind of vanished."
Max visibly relaxed, and I could even see his heart rate drop a little on the monitor. We spoke little afterwards, and not minutes later a nurse came in and saw that he was awake, and rushed off to grab a doctor. Following this, a flurry of activity took place, during which Max endured test after test, and more questions then I would have thought possible.
The came the moment I had been waiting form, the finale to the grand inquisition. A police officer strode in and sat down in the chair at the side of the bed. All the nurses and doctors left the room, and the officer looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to leave. I turned to go but Max spoke up "I want him to say, he needs to hear it too." which caused the officer to cast a disapproving glance Max's way. He shrugged however, and pulled his notepad out.
"Son, I need you to tell me exactly what happened on that day. Start from the beginning."
Max took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was silent for so long that I feared he may have fallen asleep, before he finally began.
"I got to school that day and walked in my usual doors, where I met Alexis, my best friend, and Daniel, my boyfriend." I almost fell over when he said that, and couldn't help but smile. It was swept away quickly however, as Max continued to relate how things had gone after his dad had whisked him away. He spoke of his dad attacking him as if it were a normal everyday occurrence, and indeed the officer picked up on this as well and asked Max if there was a history of such behaviours, to which Max answered that he couldn't remember a time when he didn't have something sore from his dads rage. I cried as he told of his tortured existence at the hands of a merciless father, and even the police officer was sitting aghast on the edge of his seat. Max eventually got back to the story at hand, and finished when he passed out and swerved off the road.
There was a moment of stunned silence in the room as the police officer just starred at him, and I looked on in wide eyed disbelief. How could I not have known? I was Max's closest friend, one of his only, and I had often thought I knew him best. Was there no sign? I always thought he just changed away from everyone sometimes because he was feeling shy, or he was just sore from falling down a lot.
But... how could he not tell me? A secret so big, something that defined you as a person, should be shared with someone. I thought I was Max's someone. I looked to him and saw he was looking at me, a pleading look in his eyes. I turned and walked crying from the room.
MAX
I finished my story and looked at Daniel. I saw the tears running down his face, and the anger in his eyes. I didn't understand why he was angry, and I never would. But the last thing I wanted to see was Daniel upset, and I begged him with my eyes to stay and wait until the officer had left so I could try and comfort him, but he turned and left.
Dan left me. Nothing had ever felt to utterly horrible as that simple action of Dan leaving the room, the door swinging shut ominously behind him, and clicking shut with such an air of finality. I would never see him again. I was alone once again, and would probably always be. Just like dad had always said...
DANIEL
I found my mom sitting in the hospital coffee shop reading her book. She hated hospitals, and hated going upstairs amongst the doctors and the sickness even more. So she spent most of her time down here, reading and waiting for my rare excursions from Max's bedside.
"He woke up." I said, my tone even. My mother knew me well and she slowly closed her book and looked me in the eyes.
"...but?" She asked tentatively.
I wanted to tell her everything, and be strong about it, about how Max had lied about everything. But I just cried. Eventually I got it all out and she looked at me for a few moments in silence, allowing me to compose myself. Finally she looked at my sternly and said "I'm a little ashamed of you right now, Daniel."
I almost fell off my chair. Me?! What had I done?
"The boy you claim to care for so much, maybe even love, is laying broken and alone upstairs, without so much as a mother or father to his name, and the only person he seems to care about just walked out on him, all because he didn't want to expose you to his own personal hell? Sounds to me like he was just trying to protect you."
My mind was sent reeling. I hadn't thought of it like that. I looked in disbelief at my mother for a few more seconds before dashing towards the elevators. Had I looked back I would have seen my mothers smile as she calmly opened her book and started reading again, confident as always that she had told me exactly what I needed to hear.
MAX
The door flew open and Daniel rushed in. He stopped at the foot of my bed, his eyes sparkling and red rimmed. I didn't know what to say. I was still reeling over the fact that he had left, and now he was back, not fifteen minutes later and I couldn't read what he wanted at all.
"Dan I-" I wanted to explain it all, to tell him I didn't understand why he was angry but if he would just tell me I would explain anything, but he stopped me with an upraised hand and a shake of his head.
"Why didn't you tell? I could have... could have done something to help you." He looked hurt, pain reflected in his beautiful blue eyes.
"I didn't want you to get hurt because of me Dan. I just wanted to keep everything bad away from you. The bullies at school, the fights... they were easy to save you from. But that part of my life... its not so easily foiled." My voice was steady as I said this, and I felt strength from hearing it. I was right, I knew I had been. Dan could have gotten involved sure, but he could have gotten hurt just as easily as he could have saved me.
"But its over now Dan, it doesn't matter anymore."
He stood there at the foot of my bed for a long while, searching me with his eyes, looking for something. Finally he seemed satisfied and came and sat in the chair next to my bed.
"You called me your boyfriend..." He grinned sheepishly as he said this. I smiled as best as I was able through the bandages on my head.
"Well, I've never had one before, and you seem more then willing."
Dan smiled at me and the world seemed an all right place again.
I spent the next two months in the hospital, most of my bandages were taken away after the first two weeks. Dan brought me all the schoolwork I needed so I kept on track as far as that went. I had lost an eye, but handled it with my normal stoicism, and Dan said the scar running from above my right eye down to the middle of my cheek made me look dangerous and sexy. I slowly healed and it looked like all my injuries would eventually go away, even the internal ones. After a month and a half I was able to walk around again, and at the end of the second month I was discharged from the hospital, just in time to attend graduation!
Then came the issue of where I would go. I could go to my mothers house, but I decided I didn't want too. Not once had she come to see me in the hospital, or even bothered to call. I was ready to wash my hands of my parents all together. While I did have the money to move out on my own, I needed some time to find a place to stay. I needn't have worried though, as Daniel's parents were more then happy to have me stay with them for awhile, and Daniel drove me to his house that night and helped me down the stairs to his bedroom. We went to bed that night together, the first time in so long and I was as happy as I had ever been.
I woke up a few hours after we had fallen asleep and felt the warm wetness around me. My heart sank. I knew this would happen. Since the doctors had stitched me up, I couldn't really control my bladder all that well, and I had wet the bed a few times while I was in the hospital. The doctors assured me this would stop over time as my body readjusted, but I was mortified. Dan was still sleeping next to me, but I knew he would notice. I couldn't really change the sheets without waking him.
"Dan..."
"Mmmmph."
"Dan."
"Yeah?"
"We...ummm...we need to change the sheets."
Dan sat up in the bed and felt around in the dark. I couldn't see his face in the dark and didn't know what he could be thinking. I had never been this embarrassed in my life, and if I could have chosen then to live or die, I would certainly have chosen death. Dan got out of bed and came around to my side and helped me stand, then slowly led me to the bathroom in the dark. He flicked on the light and I saw that he was smiling. Smiling!
"Max, don't worry about it. Its not your fault." He smiled and hugged me, our bare chests touching and his warmth all around me. Despite having been inactive for almost 2 months, he could still barley reach all the way around me. I apparently still looked crestfallen, so he hugged me again and started the shower. Here was another moment of embarrassment for me, because I still couldn't really shower alone. I could barley walk, let alone bend over and wash myself. Without needing to be asked, Dan looked at me and said "I'll help you, don't worry." I was still a little concerned however, though this was for a different reason. Me and Dan hadn't even seen each other naked yet, despite sleeping together, and I thought for a moment he meant to shower in his boxers. Mine certainly had to come off, being soiled, and I was more then a little shy and leery of this whole event. Confidently, Dan slipped his fingers into the waistband of his boxers and pulled down, exposing himself to me fully. If I had any doubts as to whether I was gay or not, he dispelled them then and there. His perfect stomach led into a V, which dragged my eyes downwards to his now exposed cock. He was about 4 inches limp, cut, with neatly trimmed blond pubic hair with his ball sack large and dangling slightly. I took a deep breath and slipped my thumbs into my own briefs and pulled downwards.
DANIEL
I held my breath as Max slowly slid down his boxers, my imagination going wild, and doing my best to keep my limp dick, limp. I had always imagined Max was hung well, it just fit him, but I realized then that even my wildest dreams had been lacking. Limp, he was at least 6 ½ inches, cut, and his thick curly pubic hair was the darkest black. I couldn't help but gasp. Some horses weren't hung that well! And I had slept next to that... just wow. The hospital had done little to diminish Max's beauty, and now, standing before me naked, I was truly taken aback by him. He looked at me shyly and blushed.
"Whats wrong?" He asked, sounding a little hurt.
"Your...just... Amazing." I beamed at him and hugged him, our bodies coming together as one. We climbed into the shower then and I helped him wash himself. I really didn't mind giving him a hand, as I got to run my hands into uncharted territory. To my amazement he didn't get hard, even when I applied a little extra attention to certain areas. I was a little hurt at first, but I realized he was probably just embarrassed. The doctors had told me about his bladder problem, and I had no problems with it. He had been shot for gods sake, I wasn't about to think that there were no side effects. I got out of the shower before him, getting the sheets changed before he even turned off the water. I went back in and helped him dry himself off, and we climbed into the bed and he wrapped his arms around me, his hard muscles surrounding me and his warmth filling me. Maybe things would be all right after all.
My arent things looking up! Who knows what will happen next! I certainly don't, but the story isn't over yet so check back every now and then. I love getting emails, they make my day! M-Davidson@hotmail.ca