Disclaimer: This is a slow love story and not a fast fuck one. If this isn't to your liking, please don't bother reading. This story contains sexual acts between consenting adult males. If it offends you, then X out. Any comments or questions, email me and I'll try to respond promptly.
Author's Note: This is the final chapter. It's a long one, so I think I covered everything as well as tied all the loose ends. And if anything, people can use their own imagination to see the happy ending. I hope there aren't too many errors, as I tried to look it over as carefully as possible. So enjoy! Thanks for reading.
Chapter 15
"So you said no?"
I shook my head. "Not exactly."
Jackson frowned, the stick he was twirling in his hand faltered. "What does that mean?"
"It means that I told him it was too soon."
"Basically you freaked out," Jackson stated. "Basically you said no."
"Basically," I said glumly.
"How did he react?"
"Not well," I mumbled.
"Meaning?" Jackson prompted.
"I'm sure it was embarrassing. There were a few people watching!" I exploded, standing up and pacing the backyard. "And he was so hopeful and his eyes were so big and beautiful," I groaned. "Part of me wanted to say yes, but the other part of me just wasn't ready. I don't know, Jackson. I just panicked. Hell, I'm used to living at home. I'm used to my life. I was comfortable with how things were and although we talked about our future, we never talked about it in depth. I had no idea he was about to pop the damn question. At least so soon!"
Jackson gaped at me.
I continued my rant, "And I think I really hurt his feelings. After I sort of turned him down, we ended up leaving the club. That's why you couldn't find us," I explained. "And the ride home was tense and silent and my shoulders are still sore from them curling up to my ears. And we haven't really talked in two days! He's avoiding me! He's pissed. He wants to dump me I bet!" I wailed. I flopped face down on the couch, about to cry.
Then I felt something hard hit my head. "Ouch," I mumbled, shooting Jackson a dirty look. "What was that for?" I nearly yelled. "Hitting me when I'm already down, fucker!"
"Listen Mason," Jackson said and I knew he meant business when he used my full name. "Kyle will not break up with you. He might be pissed, hurt, or whatever. He probably needs time. But more than anything, he's waiting for you to go to him."
"I've tried calling—"
Jackson cut me off. "Calling is lame. He wants a bigger gesture. Go to his house. Wait for him. Do something to show you care."
"Like what?"
Jackson groaned. "Don't make me do all the thinking. He's your boyfriend, assface! Go over there, wait for him if he's not home, strip naked, beg for forgiveness, I don't fucking know. Just stop wallowing. I hate seeing you like this and then you're not evening doing anything about it," he cried out in frustration. He grabbed my arm. "Life waits for no one. You want something, you go and fucking get it. Now get it," he hissed.
I stared at my best friend, my mouth hanging open. What had gotten into my best friend? He was always aggressive and bossy, but he was taking it to a whole new level. He nudged me to the front door, tossing me my keys. "Go, now! Make things right!"
I helplessly stared at him as I stumbled out the door, dropping my keys onto the ground.
Only one thing kept playing in my mind: Get Kyle and fix things. Somehow.
I shifted around, my ass feeling cold and bruised from the cement. I could have just let myself into his house, but it didn't seem right to intrude when he wasn't home, and when he was mad at me. I figured Kyle was at work or at his aunt and uncle's place. Replaying Jackson's words in my head, I should have gone to find him, but couldn't stand the idea of being rejected in front of everyone.
Like I had done to Kyle myself. I felt like shit and I hung my head as I buried my chin into my hoodie. It was chilly. Why did today have to be so fucking windy?
I closed my eyes, leaning on the wall. I sighed. I waited. A car drove by. A squirrel ran by. I waited some more. Eventually I must have dozed off because the next thing I felt was someone shaking me.
"Mace. Mace! Wake up!"
I groaned and snuggled onto the hard cement. That made my eyes fly open. "Huh? What?"
Kyle's blue eyes stared down at me with concern. "Mace, what are you doing out here?" He sounded angry. "Are you crazy?"
"I'm sorry," I began feeling small, as I heard the anger in his voice.
"It's fucking freezing. How long were you out here? And sleeping? Why didn't you use the key I gave you?" Kyle barked, grabbing my arms and lifting me up. I instinctively moved closer to him as his hands filled me with warmth. "Shit, you're going to get sick," he muttered, wrapping his arms around me tightly. He pushed me forward as he unlocked the door and led me through it. "Ever heard of a jacket?"
"It wasn't that cold before," I mumbled. "The weather is so weird these days."
Kyle sighed and pulled me to his bedroom. "You need to warm up fast. Take a hot shower."
"Kyle," I began.
"Now," he ordered pushing me inside the bathroom. He turned on the water, testing the temperature for a few minutes. I stared at him, wanting to say something, but not knowing where to begin.
Kyle, for his part, was focused on his task of undressing me. I stood there, feeling a flush coming over my face even though Kyle had seen me naked millions of times. He gingerly nudged me inside the shower and I winced as the hot water hit my cold skin. I instinctively shot him a grumpy look.
A smile tugged at his lips. "You'll get used to it." He wet his hands and rubbed them up and down my arms.
I felt chills at first from the temperature contrast, but eventually the warmth started to feel really good. I sighed as goose bumps came over me. My eyes closed as I stuck my face directly under the spray. I heard some movement and opened my eyes to see Kyle in front of me, naked. I wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms.
"Kyle," I began.
He must have been reading my mind because he grabbed me into a tight hug, rubbing his hands up and down my back. I shivered from his touch and snuggled as close to him as possible. Kyle mumbled something.
"What?" I asked, unable to make out the words clearly.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, pulling back to look into my eyes.
I frowned. "What?" I asked again. "I'm sorry."
Kyle blinked. "You're sorry?"
"Yeah."
"Why?" he asked.
"Because I totally hurt your feelings when you asked me to marry you although I didn't actually turn you down you know," I rambled. "I was just so shocked. You know I love you and want to be with you, right? But I wasn't ready for that question. We never talked about it really, at least seriously. I mean, damn, I didn't even graduate yet! And I have to deal with graduate school. And I feel like such a kid. But I can see myself marrying you. And I want to. We'd be so good together. I mean, we ARE good together-"
"Mace!"
I stopped talking.
"I know. I understand all that. I did some thinking and I thought about what you said. I admit, I was hurt a little, but now I know where you're coming from..."
"Kyle," I interrupted. "Now you're the one rambling." I smiled slightly.
He stopped short and then grinned sheepishly. "Yeah. You must be rubbing off on me." There was an affectionate note to his voice.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," I blurted out.
He face grew serious and he sighed. "Yeah I do. I shouldn't have avoided you just because I was mad. I was being immature. I should have talked to you. I'm sorry." He took my hands. "But I love you, Mace. And I do want to marry you, but I will definitely wait until you're ready."
"You don't have to rush," I explained, circling his nipple with my thumb. "I'm not going anywhere Kyle."
Kyle bit his lip and grabbed my hand, his cock twitching against my stomach. I giggled.
"Mace, you know I have my own insecurities, right?" he asked.
I nodded. "Who doesn't? Some just hide it better."
"Exactly. I love what we have and I'm so lucky I found you, someone who loves me as much as I love them, someone who treats me well and appreciates me. But I talk with my coworkers and hear their relationship stories, and I just get so paranoid. I freak out. Like you have something or someone so good, you want to hold onto them so tight?" Kyle asked, his eyes looking troubled. "But it was stupid thinking that way. I can't tie you down to a leash. I don't want to pressure you, suffocate you, or push you away."
"You won't," I said firmly, wrapping my arms around his waist, burying my face against his chest. "You just need to talk to me and let me in, ok?"
"Ok," he whispered. He tugged me and I frowned in confusion. Kyle sat down in the tub, his long legs looking cramped. I laughed, but he merely pulled me into his lap, my back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and it was actually kind of nice sitting there, the warm water hitting our feet, a warm mist falling over us from the water shooting out of the showerhead.
I sighed, feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders. It was never fun to be in a fight with my boyfriend, not that it was a real fight. We rarely fought. It was more like a misunderstanding, which wasn't so great either.
"Want to talk about it now?"
"About what" Kyle asked.
"About your future plans to propose to me again?" I said with a smile.
Kyle chuckled, nipping at my ear.
"You better propose to me again one day!" I exclaimed. "You have to give me a chance to say yes and scream with joy and cry with happiness!"
Kyle laughed louder. "I love you."
"I know. Now tell me your ideas," I demanded.
"I guess it will be a surprise. I haven't worked anything out yet," Kyle admitted with a smile in his voice. "Last time it was spur of the moment. I bought a ring and popped the question. End of story."
"How unromantic!" I mock scoffed. "Don't I deserve better?"
"You deserve the world," Kyle murmured and I wiggled in his embrace.
"How about I bake a huge cake and bury it somewhere in it?" he suggested.
"It will take me forever to find it!" I whined.
"Not the way you eat. And not at your speed."
I huffed.
Kyle grabbed my hand and laced our fingers. "When do you see us getting married?" he asked. "Or getting engaged?"
"What do you mean?"
"So I can estimate how much time I have to plan a wonderful proposal," Kyle explained.
"I think the engagement can happen while I'm in grad school. Not too soon, like now, because it would be a long engagement. And I don't want a long engagement. It would seem less likely to happen, you know? So in grad school a short engagement, and then once I'm done with school for good, I'll move in and we'll have a ceremony. Or have a ceremony first and then move in. You know, it's more traditional that way," I said.
"Mace, nothing about two guys getting married or shacking up is traditional," Kyle snorted.
"I know," I giggled. "How about you surprise me in general? If we had discussed getting married before, maybe I wouldn't have been so stunned and panicked the last time."
"Panicked?"
"Change freaks me out, Kyle. My life was so boring and lonely, remember? I had no mother, my sister moved, my dad was never around. All I had was Jackson and his family and my friends and school. Then you came along and I was so happy, but when you proposed, it felt like I had to give up Jackson and family dinners at his house, or seeing my dad and everything. I know that doesn't make sense, but it seems like marriage is so huge. I'm finally growing up and living my own life and I guess I got scared. It was so comfortable, being a kid, having a boyfriend, and that's as far as I got. So when you popped the question, I was stunned."
"I understand," Kyle murmured. "I agree that change can be scary, but it can also be wonderful."
I hummed in thought, resting against him, the warm spray hitting my legs. I sighed. "I love this, right now."
"Then let's just enjoy right now," Kyle whispered. "We can talk about our future later, right? We have all the time in the world."
"That's for sure," I breathed. "Let's just focus on getting warm."
"Are you still cold?" Kyle asked, gathering some water in his hands and rubbing them along my chest.
I moaned in pleasure at his soft touch. "No, not cold."
He laughed. "Good to know."
"My butt hurts sitting here," I complained, shifting.
"You have a bony ass," Kyle snorted.
I turned my head to look at him. "Hey!"
He pecked my nose. "But I love your bony ass. It's my bony ass. In fact, if your ass hurts sitting here, we could move elsewhere."
"Oh yeah? Where?"
"To the bedroom," Kyle whispered. "More cushioning. More comfortable. And equally warm." He shifted and I felt his erection poking me.
I giggled. "Do you have an ulterior motive, Mister?"
"Maybe," Kyle stated, standing up carefully, pulling me gently with him. "I've missed you."
I glanced at his engorged member. "I can tell."
"He missed you, too," Kyle smiled. "But I missed you the most here," he said pointing to his heart.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Always saying the right things."
"Anything to get you to the bedroom faster."
I swatted his arm playfully. I stepped out of the tub, still holding his hand. "Let's go."
Kyle quickly wiped the both of us down, so the cool air wouldn't chill our damp bodies too much. Then he nudged me forward in the direction of his room. Once the bed was within distance, Kyle pushed me onto it. I fell forward onto my stomach before rolling onto my back.
I motioned for Kyle to come closer, a big smile on my lips. I let out a happy shriek as Kyle climbed on top of me, our legs tangling, his hands pinning my wrists.
"My Mason," he murmured as his lips captured mine.
"Told you. All is right with the world once again," Jackson smirked, flicking my ear.
I swatted his hand away. "Jackson!"
"I tell you, it's so hysterical watching you freak out like this. You never had any drama in the past and barely have any now. But once in awhile, you get so dramatic, it's fucking hilarious! And then two seconds later your crisis is over," Jackson snorted. "Fucking hilarious. No joke." I glared at my best friend. "Thanks for making fun of me and my life."
"Anytime," Jackson replied breezily. "That's why I keep you around."
I made a face at him.
"When is Matty the Professor getting here?" Jackson asked checking his watch.
"Soon," I replied. "We're going to grab coffee and walk him to his class. That's the routine. And he's a nice guy. You don't have to be so obnoxious to him."
"I'm obnoxious to everyone. That's part of my charm, remember? I'm so obnoxious, you fucking have to love me," Jackson stated.
I eyed him curiously, frowning. "I suppose. But how long do you think that act will work?"
"Forever. It's who I am. I'm Jackson Mercado, bitch," Jackson said walking up to the register. "Hey Cute Starbucks Guy," he greeted the cashier.
The blond turned around, his brow knitted, but when he saw it was Jackson, recognition flitted across his features. "Mercado!" he yelled, laughing. "How's it going, man?"
I shook my head. Jackson's popularity seriously held no bounds.
"I'm good, I'm good. We're having some E-board conflicts, but I'm handling it. You liking the club?" Jackson went on. "I know you wanted to try it in the past, but was always too intimidated. But you're learning the moves really fast."
The blond guy grinned. "I love it. I love the art and agility of it. And there aren't any assholes there, ragging on me."
Jackson smiled. "I told you. We always welcome new members and we don't allow stupid crap talking." He cleared his throat and leaned closer. "Hey man, me and my friend here are dying of thirst and hunger. Think you can hook us up?" he said in a quiet voice.
The blond nodded. "Sure man. I'll give you my employee discount. And maybe throw in an extra pastry."
"You're the man, Todd."
Todd grinned and started working around the counter. "Any preference for a drink?"
"Something chocolate with lots of whipped cream," Jackson answered before I could say anything.
"Flirting much?" I whispered into his ear.
Jackson shrugged. "Not flirting, but boosting the ego of people. And I have Corey. I don't need an ego boost by flirting with random people. I can't help it if they flock to me and I'm naturally oozing with charm. It's part of my personality. So quit complaining, we're getting free goods."
"Discounted."
"Technicality," he replied.
I grinned, staring at the back of Jackson's head. I really loved my best friend. And I would miss not seeing him every day after we graduated and I eventually moved in with Kyle who lived a half hour away.
Without thinking, I threw my arms around Jackson's shoulders and hugged him hard.
Jackson sighed. "For goodness sake's, Mace, it's only cheap Starbucks goodies. No need to get all mushy on me."
I laughed into his shoulder. "You're the best best friend I ever had," I murmured. "I'll miss you and being in school together. I'll even miss you asking me for favors with your French homework."
Jackson patted my head. "I know you will." His voice was contemplative. "I can't believe how fast senior year is flying by. Can you believe college is nearly over?" he asked with awe in his voice. "Time for us to grow up." He slumped. "That blows."
Suddenly he whirled around, facing me. I let go of him.
"You'll always be my best friend, Mace," he said seriously. "You can come to me for anything, you know? And you're always welcome at my house whenever you want to come over, even after you move in with Kyle. My mom loves you and sometimes calls me Mason because she misses you."
"Really?"
Jackson rolled his eyes, but nodded.
"Change is so sad," I whispered, remembering all the times his mother used to let me stay overnight, even if it was an extra mouth to feed. There was a time when they were really tight on money, but she welcomed be nonetheless, just like another son.
"No, change is sad at first, but things are so good between you and Kyle. You'll get used to everything. We'll still be best friends and hang out whenever we can. Maybe not as often, but that doesn't mean we're any less close. We just have to have bigger catch up sessions. And hey, we can go on more double dates with Kyle and Corey," Jackson pointed out. "They're related, and we're practically related. You think moving a short distance away will really change anything? You're not even in another state."
"Not really," I said sheepishly. "But I hate change and it stresses me out and makes me sad. How come it doesn't bother you?"
"It does. Especially with Corey and relationships in general," Jackson shrugged. "I have my freak out moments too, but I spend so much time consoling you that I don't have time to feel down. So thanks."
I nudged him playfully.
Jackson shot me a sincere smile as he stepped forward to retrieve the drinks Todd handed him. Muffins and cookies followed. Jackson reached for his wallet to pay.
We sat down at a table and waited for Matt to arrive. Simultaneously we crammed a cookie into our mouths. As we chewed, I couldn't help smiling and feeling sad that we wouldn't get to eat like pigs together forever.
"Cheer up," Jackson mumbled with a full mouth. "When you and Kyle are homemakers, invite me over to dinner and we can eat like fatasses together, ok?
I grinned, showing my mushed up food. "You read my mind!"
Jackson rolled his eyes. "I'm not telepathic, but I know your sad face. Stop it. It's annoying."
I shot him a smug grin. "You hate when I'm sad."
"Shut up. I don't do these mushy moments. It ruins my rep," he warned.
It was my turn to roll my eyes.
Just then, a draft washed over us and we looked at the entrance. Matt quickly scanned the area for us. His eyes lit up when he saw me and in a few strides he took a seat beside us.
"Hey guys."
I smiled. Jackson grunted.
"You ok, Matt? You look stressed?" I asked. I hadn't spoken to Matt at all after the club party and Kyle's proposal. I was in too much turmoil to deal with conversation with anyone other than Jackson.
"I am so stressed!" Matt exclaimed.
That got Jackson's interest. "Why?" he asked.
"Remember that night in the club?" Matt said.
"Yeah," Jackson and I said at the same time.
"Well, you left early," Matt began.
"Trouble with Kyle," Jackson interrupted. "Kyle proposed."
"Oh my God!" Matt exclaimed. "Congratulations."
"I didn't say yes."
Matt looked confused. "Oh. Um, I'm sorry?"
I smiled. "Kyle just surprised me. I wasn't ready for that and didn't see it coming, so I just said no. I totally hurt his feelings, and we left the club early. Sorry for not calling you back sooner, but I was so upset, and Kyle and I just—"
"God, he never shuts up," Jackson groaned. "Long story short: Kyle and Mace are not getting engaged yet, Kyle was just worried about their future, but they made up with some very excellent sex. The end."
I gave my best friend a dirty look.
"You're welcome," he said sweetly. Matt was covering his mouth, but I could tell that he was laughing hard.
"Shut up."
"You and Kyle are too cute," Matt murmured. "I'm glad you guys worked things out. And I hope things go well in the future."
"Thanks."
"Now can I tell you my news?" Matt asked looking between me and Jackson. We nodded.
"I met a guy that night at the club."
My mouth fell open. "Really? That's great!"
"Did you go home with him?" Jackson asked at the same time.
"Jackson!" I slapped his arm.
Matt blushed a deep shade of red.
I gawked. "Matt!"
"Big deal," Jackson shrugged. "You would have slept with Kyle on the first night if you hadn't passed out. Stop playing the blushing virgin. It gets old."
"Jackson, focus," I hissed. "What happened?" I asked Matt. "Was it good? It sounds promising."
"I don't know what it is," Matt exclaimed. "He's gorgeous as hell. We hit it off. We were a little drunk, I think. But I remember waking up at my place the next morning and it felt so right. And the sex was amazing."
I grinned as Matt's talking pace got faster and faster.
"But he's totally in the closet. And he's too young. I'm in my mid thirties, guys," Matt explained. "I'm not willing to go back in the closet or into hiding or lying to people."
"How old is he?"
"21. He's a baby. Definitely not something for the long term which I am designed for. Long term, I mean. I don't do casual. I can't. I get invested too easily. See the problem?" Matt asked looking at me for advice.
I opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off.
"And that's not the worst part!"
"Huh?" Jackson said dumbly.
"He goes to school here! I've actually seen him. I mean, I pretended not to, and he did the same, but he was there. What are the fucking chances, Mace? Since I've worked here, and all semester long I don't notice him. Then one weekend—near the end of the semester-- I go with you and your friends clubbing, hook up with a stranger, and it turns out he goes to my campus, and he's in the closet. What are the chances? I should have stayed home when you asked me to go out. I just know that this kid is going to play mind games with me." Matt held his head in his hands. "Whether he means to or not. What if I teach a class in the future and he's in it?" he gasped in horror.
Jackson and I shot each other looks.
"He's your friend," Jackson mumbled as he noisily finished his drink with a few loud slurps. He stood up. "Thirsty. More coffee." Then he left me.
"Little prick," I muttered.
"What?"
"Not you," I said smiling at Matt. "Calm down, dude. We'll figure this out."
"How?"
"Easy. We'll break it down, step by step." I took a deep breath. "How much do you like this guy? Was there a real connection or was it just sex?"
Matt looked confused.
"Could you function without seeing him ever again? Like, you wouldn't randomly think of him or miss his company, right?" I pressed.
"I don't know. We had a good time together," Matt blushed. "We actually did talk, too. He's a smart guy, very passionate about certain subjects. He's cute when he argues or gets mad. Definitely someone I can imagine being with, but the timing is off. He's not ready, he's too young-"
I held up my hand before he could go off on another long rant.
"Forget all of that for a second," I ordered. "Just think about him—what's his name again?"
"Neil."
"Kind of an old man name," I mused thoughtfully.
"Worse than Mason?" Matt was smiling.
"Ah, I see that you've developed a sense of humor!" I mocked. "I guess hanging with me has finally rubbed off on you, Matty!" I smiled. "But let's focus. Forget that Neil is young and in the closet and scared, like you once were a long, long, long, time ago."
He shot me a dirty look about the reference to his age. I giggled, but continued with my point.
"Forget all of the negative stuff about Neil. Just think of him as someone with potential. Now would you miss not having a chance with him?" I asked seriously.
Matt took three seconds to answer. "Yes."
I grinned.
"But it's not that simple Mace!" he exclaimed, clearly frustrated. "I don't want to meet in secret for random fucks. I want a real relationship. I want to go out. I want-"
"Well we don't always get what we want in life. At least not right away," I pointed out in a strong tone, surprised by my passion. "You can't have something great plop in your lap and expect a happily ever after. There's a lot of patience involved. A lot of trial and error. I waited freaking 20 years for Kyle to walk into my life and love me. It was worth the wait."
"I don't know Neil or anything, but if you see something special in him, don't run so fast just because things aren't perfect right away. At least get to know him better, spend some time with him. He's young, that's for sure, but with the right guidance and support, he may be ready to come out sooner than you think. He might just need someone there for him.. Everyone has to start somewhere, right? And you don't even know why he's scared. Is it all in his head? Is it his family? Maybe things will turn out ok, but you have to give it a chance."
"So you think I should spend a little more time with him and see where things go?" Matt asked with his brow furrowed.
"Yes," I groaned in exasperation. "Don't just have sex. Try to talk a little more. Or write emails? Or something where you can communicate. I'm not great at this playing shrink business."
Matt wasn't listening. His mind was elsewhere. He hummed. "You may have a point. I should give him a chance. At least a little time. If I can't stand how things are going, I'll just break it off." Then he frowned. "But what if I get too attached and have to deal with heartbreak? Shouldn't I end things sooner without getting too invested?"
I groaned again and dropped my head onto the table.
A chair scraped loudly. Jackson plopped back down with another muffin and drink in his hand. He patted my head with his coffee cup, which was a hot drink by the way. I cringed.
"I got this one, Mace," Jackson said in an authoritative voice. "Listen, Matty. Life is short. It doesn't wait for chicken shits, ok? Take a fucking chance and be with this guy. Have sex, talk, have fun. If you start to fall for him and you can't stand his scared closeted bullshit, you have to bounce. And if you're feeling heartbroken, that's when you call us, me and Mace. And you go clubbing, you get shit faced, you eat a lot of junk food or ice cream, and sappy romantic comedies—I bet Kyle and Mace have tons of that chick flick shit," he smirked. "Perhaps you'll meet someone new on your clubbing adventures."
"You get back into the game and get over your little heartbreak because that's life. And life can suck gorilla balls sometimes. You won't get anything good in life unless you try. Sitting on your ass crying and pissing and moaning to me and Mace won't get you anywhere," Jackson paused dramatically. "There, problem solved. Want us to walk you back to your class now?" He took a huge bite of his muffin and waited expectantly.
I bit back a laugh as Matt stared at Jackson in disbelief.
I grabbed a piece of Jackson's muffin. "What Jackson said," I agreed.
"It's so simple," Jackson reiterated.
"You guys, you two, you, you-" Matt sputtered. Finally he let out another cry of frustration. "I hate you both!"
"What the fuck?" Jackson asked, muffin clumps falling from his mouth. I handed him a napkin. "We fucking give you amazing advice and offer to walk you to class and this is the thanks we get?" he said in mock rage. "I ought to kick your ass! Or better yet, get that cashier over there to kick your ass for me since I'm busy eating!"
I giggled into my empty coffee cup.
"Dad, I worry about you."
"Why?" he asked, looking at me as he sliced some fruit.
I mentally rehearsed what I wanted to say in my head before responding.
"Don't you get lonely?" I asked.
My Dad thought about my question for a few seconds. "Sometimes."
"Don't you want to not be lonely?" I asked hopefully.
He paused mid slice and looked at me. "Mason," he asked in a curious tone. "Are you going somewhere with this?"
I shuffled my feet and shrugged. "No, just wondering."
"Mason."
"Dad, I can't move out and be happy when I know you're all alone by yourself every single day for the rest of your life," I practically wailed.
My father's eyes widened and he stared at me. "What?"
I stamped my foot, not caring if I looked childish. "I don't want to leave you all alone."
"Where is this coming from?"
In the whirlwind of emotions over the past few days, I had neglected to tell my father of Kyle's proposal, my refusal, and then our making up just recently. He had been attending some conferences and I spent most of my time with Jackson. We just happened to miss one another with our different schedules, so now I had to fill my father in with everything that had happened to me.
"Dad, how can you just resign yourself to being alone for the rest of your life? Dating is hard, I get that, but you have to try! Look, Kyle proposed to me last weekend when I was in the clubbing in the city-"
"What?" my father exclaimed. "He proposed to you?"
"And I said no," I continued. "I was so shocked and I wasn't ready. And you know what thought went through my head?" I asked. I stared meaningfully at my dad. "That my dad and I just started getting closer and I didn't want to leave you because you wouldn't have anyone in the house with you anymore. I mean, Karen is gone, across the country. She has someone. She'll probably marry Cameron. I'm serious with Kyle. He wants to get engaged now, if he had his way. But we're going to get engaged sometime while I'm in grad. At least that's the plan. We're still discussing it. Slowly. Anyway, after I finish school, it's a sure thing I'll be moving in with him, and then we'll have a nice ceremony. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
My father looked stunned. He opened his mouth a few times to answer, but no sound came out.
"Moving out?" he finally managed.
"You did know it was a possibility, right?"
"Of course," he sputtered. "But so soon."
"Not soon, that's the whole point," I explained patiently. "After I finish school."
"But still. You're such a baby," he murmured to himself.
"Dad, I'm 22."
He smiled. "You'll always be my baby, Mace. You don't know how hard it was, do you?"
I frowned. "What?"
"Raising you when your mother died. You were this tiny little baby, so sweet, so innocent, so small. So shy." His voice was nostalgic. "I didn't know what to do. I was a doctor, I performed surgeries. I never comforted a little child. Thank God for Karen, bless her soul for having to grow up so fast to help your useless father."
"Dad-"
"I made so many mistakes. But look at you, all grown up. About to graduate college. Going to graduate school. Getting engaged. Moving out." His voice broke.
I was horrified. "Oh Dad, don't," I trailed off, unable to see my Dad looking sad.
"Mason, I'm happy and sad. I'm happy you've turned out so well. I'm happy that you're happy. I've noticed how miserable and depressed and closed off you were in the past. In a way, I'm grateful for Kyle. He breathed life into you. All I want is for you to be happy, you know that, right?" he asked.
I nodded.
"I'm happy we can talk now. That you're telling me this. But I'll be honest: I'll be sad to see you go. I love you so much, Mason. I know moving out and living your own life will be good for you, but I'll miss my baby boy."
"Oh, Dad." I couldn't help it. He was being so honest, and my father looked so vulnerable. I walked over and tentatively wrapped my arms around him. When I felt him hug me, I tightened my grip. All these years I thought he hated me and it was the exact opposite.
"I love you, too, Dad. And even when I move out, we'll see each other all the time. You have to have dinner with us as often as possible! And I'll call and email you."
We stood in the kitchen, hugging for several minutes. I inhaled my Dad's scent, remembering how he used to smell when I was younger, whenever he had attempted to be close to me.
"You know I only want you to be happy too, right?" I asked, my voice muffled from his sweater.
"Yes."
"Are you honestly happy alone?" I asked, breaking away.
He avoided my eyes. Then he sighed. "Yes and no."
I frowned. "What does that mean?"
"I'm happy with my life and that I've gotten to know my son better and that I'm semi-retired. But on the other hand, I guess I do get lonely. But isn't that what happens as we age?"
"It's not supposed to be that way, Dad! You've been lonely for so long, and working in a hospital, attending seminars, functions, fundraisers, is no substitute for companionship," I sighed in frustration.
"I don't know if I can get back into dating, Mason. I'm too old. I've been out of the game too long," he said regretfully. "That date with Michaela's friend was a disaster."
"They won't all be like that," I protested.
"How do you know?"
"Well, how do you know that they will be?" I shot back, folding my arms.
My father chuckled lightly.
"Don't you want to try? A few more times? If it doesn't work out, at least you can say that you tried?" I continued, hoping to sway him.
"I don't know, Mason."
"Please, Dad? It would make me feel so much better about my own life, knowing my Dad is doing something with his. I won't feel good about anything until I know you're working towards something, towards being truly happy. Everyone can find love, or have a second chance at it, you know."
"Mason, since when did you get so good at this?"
"At what?"
"At convincing."
"Jackson," I said impishly grinning.
My father sighed and smiled slightly. "I knew that kid was a bad influence. I knew as soon as his family moved in next door and he started jumping up and down on our bushes.
I couldn't help giggling, remembering a younger Jackson and how obnoxious and bossy he was, and how we began our life long friendship.
"So, does this mean you'll start internet dating? Or should I ask Michaela if she has anymore single friends?" I asked.
He hung his head and groaned. "Can't I have some time?"
"Some, but not a lot," I quipped. "Time's a wasting!"
"If you ask Michaela, give her strict instructions that these friends of hers are not to be recently divorced or recently dumped!" he said in a grave tone. "I am not dealing with a sobbing woman on a first date."
I giggled again and saluted him. "I promise."
"I'm going to regret this," he mumbled, grabbing some milk from the fridge.
"Maybe, but at least you can say you tried it and at least there will be no regrets on that front," I pointed out.
He stared at me. "When did you get so smart?"
"It's in my genetics." I grinned. The doorbell rang. "Oh, that's Kyle. We're going to have a picnic since it's the first non-rainy day we've had in awhile. Thanks, Dad! This means a lot to me."
"Anything for you, kiddo."
I smiled, knowing he meant it. I waved happily before running out the door, smack into Kyle's arms.
"Whoa there, little tiger. What's going on?" His strong arms gripped me tightly.
I stared into Kyle's sparkling blue eyes. I was filled with happiness, with contentment, with excitement for our future. And gratitude for meeting such a wonderful man.
"I'll tell you. But I'm hungry. Let's get to that picnic!" I grabbed his hand and dragged him to his car.
Kyle's laughter rang loudly in my ear.
I talked nonstop as soon as we sat down on the blanket. The sky was beautiful, so clear and so blue. I inhaled the sweet scent of spring. Finally, I paused in my story and Kyle took out a container. He slowly presented me with a cupcake.
"Kyle," I began uncertainly, staring at the small silver band on top of my cupcake.
He held up his hand. "Hear me out, baby."
I nodded, waiting patiently.
"I respect your wishes to get engaged. I really do," Kyle said. "But this," he held up the cupcake with the ring on it. "Is a promise. It's a promise to love each other, to respect each other, and always talk to one another. And a promise that one day, we will be together forever. Just you and me."
A grin spread across my face. I let out a laugh. "Well if that's a promise proposal, then I accept! I promise myself to you and to our future."
Kyle smiled widely.
"Can I eat this now?" I asked.
He chuckled, plucked the ring off the frosting, licked it, then placed it gently on my finger. "I love you. Forever."
I held up my ring finger. "Forever."
Kyle cupped my cheek and gently kissed me, sealing our promise.
THE END.
Thanks to everyone who emailed me and encouraged me to keep writing. It really helped a lot during the times I wanted to give up on the story or take a really long hiatus. LOL. I'm glad there are still people out there who appreciate love stories. At least I write with a purpose knowing people get enjoyment from it. Lastly, thanks to Nifty for posting my story and giving me a chance to share my writing.
Other stories: True Love Will Survive- College, March 20, 2008, complete Turn of Events- College, May 14, 2007, complete