No strings attached, written by Lulupower
Legal disclaimer: This story is purely fictionnal and it doesn't mean to imply anything about the sexuality of any of the celebrities mentionned in it. Also, if you're not 18 or if you're offended by homosexual topics, please leave now. Yada, yada, yada.
Author's note: Hellllllo everyone! Yep, this is it, the last chapter of NSA. Everyone, get the kleenexes! ;) I wish Neal was still here to share this with us...
Anyways. I really don't think I'll be gone for long, I'll probably come back with other stories later on. You can check out "You're beautiful, Jayce", it's a short story that I wrote a little while ago, and "Brian and Joshua", but I warn you, that one sucks big time ;)
Special thanks to Soli K., for being such a loyal fan. :) (Can't let the world know about your name! lol), and to Ralza, James, Gabriella, Rae, Jay, Raymond, Liliana, Tom and Brenda, for e-mailing me on almost every chapter and for your wonderful words of praises ;) Thanks guys!
But most of all, thanks to Eve, for believing in me. I wuv ya ;)
Go read these, now that you won't have NSA anymore (unless you like to read it over...):
- My surprise romance, by Gabriella Morrisson (she updated!!!! YAY!!! dancing around) - Brian and me, by DLS (The serie's over, but read it again, it's worth it!) - French kiss me, by Fallen Angel (gooooooood story!!) - Lance in Shining armour, by ScottyT (it's an old one, but it's goooooood!) - In synchronicity, by Will (Anyone heard of Will? Is he dead?) - Brian and Justin, by JM - Lance's search, by BJ - Justin's journal, by Jamie - Crossed lines, by Fly Guy - Not until you love me, by Penelope - ...
Remember: all good things come to an end! ;) By the way, I shamelessly used a line from the movie "Cast away". Sue me. ;)
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
"Justin? It's Lance. It's over." Lance said, sobbing.
"Joey? It's Lance. It's over." Lance said, tears falling from his eyes.
"Chris? It's Lance. It's...JC's dead." Lance said, cringing at the words.
"Karen? It's Lance...Listen, something happened to Josh. He...He died this morning." Lance said holding back his tears.
"Mom? It's James. I...JC...He's gone, mom. He's dead." Lance said, his eyes getting moist again.
"Johnny? It's Lance. JC's dead. He died this morning." Lance said in a buisness-like tone.
Lance finished his phone calls and leaned back in his chair. He took a deep breath, then he threw the cell phone on the wall, causing it to crash loudly on the waiting room floor. Lance closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his legs, sobbing. He cried for a long time, silently, then he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. He looked up and saw Justin. He got up and wrapped his arms around his younger bandmate. Both men sobbed loudly, until a third man joined them. It was Joey. Then Chris came, crying as much as everyone else. The four guys held onto each other for dear life, as if they wanted to prevent each others from dying, too.
Two days later, it was the funeral. Lance's mom had agreed to make all the arrangements for the funeral. So Lance found himself sitting in a church, in the front row, his mom on one side, and Justin, Chris and Joey on the other. JC was laying in a coffin at the front, while a priest talked. Lance didn't hear him. All he could think about was how hot JC must be. The heat was unbearable, and JC had a suit, a shirt, a tie and pants on. 'He must be so hot...' Lance kept telling himself. Then, another voice in his head seemed to stick it's tongue at the first, before saying 'He's dead, you dumbass. He can't be hot.' After a few minutes of that endless battle, Lance heard the priest say "And now, his boyfriend James Lance Bass would like to say a few words." so he got up and walked to the altar, in front of the mike, and cleared his throat. "Joshua was not just the man in my bed. He was the man in my life, the man in my heart. He was my best friend, my partner in crime, my bandmate, my lover, my husband, my soulmate. We all loved him dearly, and it's an understatement to say that he will be missed.
Some may say that homosexuals don't go to heaven, but I'm a hundred percent sure that Josh is the exception to the rule. He was the most amazing person on Earth. He was intelligent, caring, loving, funny, sweet...he was just plain great. He was so close to his music, too! He had the most beautiful voice I've ever heard, and he was an amazing composer. I hope everything's fine for him, now. He had to go through so much during the past month and a half, and yet he never lost his smile, he never lost the will to go on, even if he knew it'd all end soon.
I sincerely hope you're okay, Jayce. I hope you're happy, wherever you are. Wait for me, sweetie, please, I'll be up there too in a few years. I'll always love you, remember that. You'll always be the one in my heart. Thank you." Lance walked slowly to the door of the chapel, tears streaming down his face. He heard Justin follow him and call his name softly, but he went on walking. He couldn't talk to anyone. He didn't want to, either. He just wanted to go home and cry.
"Just, I'm going home. Alone. Say goodbye to everyone for me." Lance said, choking on his words. "Lance, you're not going to...um..." Justin hesitated. "Kill myself? No. But thanks for the concern." Lance said, managing a small smile, looking at Justin for the first time. Justin wrapped his arms around Lance's waist and hugged him tightly. "I know how much it hurts. But keep on breathing, Lance, and tomorrow morning, the sun will rise, and who knows what the waves will bring..." Justin said softly. "Thanks Just." Lance said, letting go of Justin.
He slowly walked to his appartment. An hour and a half later, he reached the door and unlocked it. He took a step inside and took a deep breath. The air smelled like JC. Lance felt the tears come to his eyes again, so he went to his bedroom and laid down on his bed. Their bed. He took JC's pillow in his arms and buried his face in it. Fresh tears fell from his eyes and onto JC's pillow. Lance sobbed for a long time, then he reached for the drawer for a kleenex. He opened it, and his hand didn't find a tissue, it found a piece of paper. Lance sat down and grabbed the paper. It was an envelope. On it, Lance's name was written in the nead handwriting that was JC's. Lance opened it slowly. It was a letter. From JC. Lance felt his eyes well up with tears again, but held them in.
"James, baby, the love of my life...
As you read this, I'm probably gone. Right now, you're sleeping. It's good that you are sleeping, because I know how tired you are. All because of me. You don't know how sorry I am that you have to go throuugh all this shit because of me.
Tomorrow is our wedding day. Can you imagine? I'm gonna be Mr. James Lance Bass. I'm gonna be your husband! I can't wait. Even if I know that the only thing it will change is the ring on both our fingers. And even if I know that we won't be together for a long time after that.
I'm dying, James. I can feel it. I'm trying to hold it until we're married, but I know that one morning, I won't wake up. And it will be sooner than expected. I'm so scared, baby, you can't imagine how scared I am. And I know you're scared for me too, cause that's just how you are, always worrying. Don't worry about me, James. I'll be fine. No matter how scared I am, I know I'll be fine.
And you'll be fine too. I know it's gonna be hard for you when I'm gone. Hell, it'll be hard for me too. I miss you already. But we'll be fine, and one day, we'll be together again. Our love is way too strong to end after just a little while like that. But until then, I want you to go on. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life alone, thinking about me and how life could have been if I had lived. I want you to find someone, and live a happy life. Why don't you try Justin? Who knows, maybe you two will hit it off now that I'm gone! :)
I love you James. More than you'll ever know. And I'll always watch over you from wherever I'll be. Trust me.
Come stop your crying It'll be alright Just take my hand, hold it tight I will protect you from all around you I will be here, don't you cry
For one so small, you seem so strong My arm will hold you Keep you safe and warm This bond between us can't be broken I will be here, don't you cry
You'll be in my heart Yes you'll be in my heart >From this day on Now and forever more You'll be in my heart No matter what they say You'll be here in my heart Always
Why can't they understand the way we feel? They just don't trust what they can't explain I know we're different but deep inside us We're not that different at all
You'll be in my heart Yes you'll be in my heart >From this day on Now and forever more
Don't listen to them Cause what do they know We need each other To have, to hold They'll see in time I know When destiny calls you We must be strong I may not be with you But you got to hold on They'll see in time I know We'll show them together
Cause you'll be in my heart Believe me, you'll be in my heart I'll be there, from this day on Now and forever more You'll be in my heart You'll be here in my heart No matter what they say I'll be with you No matter what they say You'll be here in my heart Always
Always I'll be with you I'll be there for you always Always and always Just look over your shoulder Just look over your shoulder Just look over your shoulder I'll be there Always
I love you, Joshua Scott Chasez xxxxxxxxxx and tons more "
Lance wiped his tears and took a deep breath. Finally, maybe there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe he'd be able to go on.
The End
E-mail me with comments, guys! The song I used is "You'll be in my heart", by Phil Collins. It's on the Tarzan soundtrack.