`No Way Out' Chapter 10
Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not in any way represent the true sexual orientation or personal beliefs of any one involved. If you are underage or homophobic, read no further.
After my pathetic plea for feedback and the threat to end this story, I got more e-mails than I ever dared to hope for. Not only did that make me feel really special, it also made me want to continue writing this story. The ideas are flowing again and I am determined to pull this through. So, a big thank you to all those wonderful people who e-mailed me. Without you, this story would have died.
And now, I present chapter 10. Enjoy!
"Are you alright?" Joey asked, his forehead drawn in tight lines of concern. JC answered with a sigh. Joey bent down and started massaging his boyfriend's shoulders and back.
"We don't have to go you know."
"Of course we're going. We owe Justin that much. It's just that I don't know how to explain that kiss to him."
"The same way you explained it to me. You felt responsible and guilty about what happened and had to prove to yourself that you didn't like him in that way." Joey sat down beside JC on the bed.
"Listen, the two of you are best friends, and that's not gonna change. You two have been through so much together, you'll get through this, too. It's me I'm worried about." Now it was Joey's turn to breathe a heavy sigh.
"I mean, I've never been extremely close to Justin. And what we did to him must've seriously ruined his trust in us. You, you're his best friend, you'll gain his trust back. But me? I don't know where I stand with him."
JC wanted to say something reassuring, but nothing came to mind. Joey was right. He'd have a hard time with Justin. So he just pressed a soft kiss on Joey's lips and hugged him tight.
"You're friends are coming. Security just called up to let us know." Jake announced as he entered Justin's room. He was about to turn around and leave again when he got a glance at his patient and stopped.
"You look so pale. Are you sure you wanna do this?" Justin nodded, his lips drawn tight in determination.
"I have to. Even if Josh wasn't my best friend, I'd still do it. We're in a band together so having unresolved issues isn't an option." Jake nodded.
"Alright then. I'll leave you to it. But if you need me... I'm in my office." Justin managed a weak smile.
"Thank you."
Just minutes later JC and Joey entered Justin's room. Justin turned of the TV and motioned his guests to sit down. An awkward silence spread. No one wanted to be the first to speak. They were painfully aware of how uncomfortable they were with each other. It was hard to imagine that just a few short weeks ago they had all been so close. But because of one little mistake, everything had spiraled out of control and now these three friends were strangers.
"This is ridiculous." Joey finally burst out. Justin smiled.
"You are right. We came here to talk and now look at us."
"Okay, I'll start. Justin, I'm sorry. You don't know how much I regret not telling you. You mean so much to me, and keeping this from you was the biggest mistake I've ever made. And knowing what you feel for me, and why my keeping secrets did to you.... it hurts me just to think about that." JC nervously chewed on his lower lip, his eyes darting around the room, then finally settling on Justin.
"Josh, listen. You were not the only one who was making mistakes. I... I kept to myself what I feel for you when there was no reason not to tell you. I should've known that I can always come to you with everything." Justin's voice was quiet but firm. It was a relief to finally talk about this.
"It's not the same Just. I mean, I... I almost killed you!" Tears were welling up in JC's eyes, and he was working hard to keep them at bay.
"No you didn't. I almost killed myself. Josh, if we're gonna be friends again, you've gotta get that into your head. It was a choice I made. I don't want you to feel guilty for that." JC nodded.
"I'll try."
"Are we okay then? I'll forgive you for not telling me that you have a boyfriend if you stop feeling guilty for what I did. We both made mistakes, but we've got to let that go and move on." JC nodded again, not trusting his voice. Justin got up and hugged his friend, who had given up fighting his tears and was crying openly now.
"You have no idea how glad I am that you are still alive."
They were interrupted but the sound of Joey clearing his throat.
"I'm still here too?" Justin chuckled.
"We didn't forget about you."
"Uhu, sure. Listen Justin, I don't know how I can possibly ask you to forgive me, but..." "Joey, you are not required to tell me about everything you do, but in this case it would've been helpful for me to know. So if you promise to tell me stuff next time, even if you're not sure whether or not I should know, you are forgiven." Joey breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thanks Just. But I do have one more question. Do you still like.... I mean, do you..." Joey trailed off, groping for the right words.
"If you're scared that I'll steal your boyfriend, don't be. It's hard to explain what I'm feeling right now, since I'm not even sure myself. Yes, I'm attracted to Josh, and yes, I love him. But that love is slowly returning to the platonic kind. But at the moment I'm wondering what he feels for me. I seem to remember a kiss..." Justin turned to face JC who flinched at the mention of that kiss.
"Curly, the reason for that kiss is so stupid that I'm embarrassed to tell you. It's just that I felt so guilty, I wanted to love you back. That kiss was a miserable attempt to prove myself that I have more than friendly feelings for you. But the only thing it accomplished was to make me feel even more guilty because it must've added to your confusion."
"It did. But that turned out to be a good thing, because I finally resorted to talking to Dr. Kensington and that helped me to sort out my feelings."
"So, will we be alright?" Joey asked.
"Yes, we will be." Justin replied. And for the first time in what seemed like forever, he truly believed that things would, in fact, turn out alright.
JC and Joey didn't leave until late at night. They had spent hours and hours talking, mostly about how they would tell Lance and Chris about everything that had happened. They even briefly considered not telling them at all but, remembering where keeping secrets had already gotten them, they had quickly dismissed that thought.
When he was finally alone, Justin decided to check if Jake was still there, to let him know that things had gone well. The light in his office was still on, so Justin entered. He found his therapist sitting on the chair behind his desk, fast asleep. Almost in awe, he stood still, admiring Jake. His unruly dark hair, the defined cheekbones, the full, red lips.
Justin was still standing in the doorway, lost in a rush of emotions, when Jake's eyelids fluttered, then opened. It took him a few seconds to take in his surroundings and to realize that he was still in his office. That Justin was in his room. Standing there in the dim light, he was breathtaking. He still radiated that air of strength and weakness at once that had fascinated Jake from the first moment on. Like some sort of a dark angel, he seemed fragile, yet so strong.
They were trapped in that moment and for a while neither of them could move or speak. And then Justin knew why he had come to see Jake. Not because he wanted to talk, but because he needed him. It was as simple as that. And he wasn't going to keep it to himself this time. No way. So he closed the distance between them, cupped Jake's face with his hand, and kissed him.
How does Jake react? What will happen between him and Justin? You'll have to wait till the next chapter to find out.
Take care, j