The following story is a work of fiction and does not represent any living person. The story contains sex between two consenting adult men. If you are a minor, or it is illegal in your area to read the following story, please leave now. The author retains all rights to the story. Please do not reproduce without prior consent.
--- Hey Everyone!
I am very sorry for the long delay in posting the next chapter. It has been a very busy and hectic few months. If you have any comments of questions please feel free to contact me at mr_e08@hotmail.com. Your feedback is always appreciated. Also, thanks to Lisa for helping me edit this story.
Thank you!
Enjoy,
Ethan.
------------- Chapter 18 -------------
*** JORDAN ***
The eager anticipation, the burning desire, the lustful glances.
The soft caresses, the devious smiles, those mischievous eyes.
He torments me. With each calculated move he plays with my soul. He knows how to push my buttons. And oh how he pushes them. Again, and again, and again.
I restrain to keep myself off of him as we stand there in the doorway. My body yearns for him. He is the antidote that I so desperately need. And he is not making this any easier for me. He brushes his hand against my arm as we move the bags inside. He licks his lips. Neither of us says a word. The sexual tension is thick in the air.
When the door finally shuts I put my lips where they belong, on his. In the heat of the moment we somehow lose our shoes as we make our way to the bedroom. A shirt goes flying here, jeans over there, and before we know it we are both naked, worshiping each other's body in bed. This is the moment I have so eagerly been waiting for. And tonight I am going to indulge.
My lips explore his skin as if they are returning to a familiar, yet different place. I feel a change in me from before; my body screams with more confidence. I am more relaxed, more at peace. My moves too are not as thought out. I go with the flow, inch-by-inch-by-inch. But every now and then I change my pace, move somewhere else, press harder, softer, longer. I too am more confident in myself. After all he is not just anyone; he is the guy who loves me.
After I've thoroughly pushed all his buttons I make my way to his beautiful cock. Standing tall, majestic, waiting. As I lick his shaft, entrap his manhood in my mouth, I do so with ease. I brush his balls with my hands as my mouth devours what I have longed for. I then move my fingers to his hole, which after a few weeks feels tighter than before. I slowly work to open it back up. He shudders and sighs, and calls out my name. The word I've wanted to hear for too long.
Then it is his turn. He emulates my moves, but with his own unique twist. He is very slow, very determined. He is not rushed, though I can tell he is eager to have me in him, or well, be in me. He teases me as warm sensations take over my skin, and then moves onto a new spot. He spends a lot of time on my nipples, as he washes over them with his tongue. They are erect and red, bruised by his attention. As he makes his way down to my dick, he every so often stops and looks deeps into my eyes. He smiles ever so slightly as his eyes drop back down. Out of all his moves this one gets me the most. It's the sign of deep happiness within him, and knowing that I am the one giving that to him sends a rush through me like no other.
When he finally gets to my dick he is no longer as slow. He licks it from all sides, massaging it in his mouth. He laps his tongue around, each time adding a different amount of pressure. He moves his tongue over the head, and then down the shaft in quick succession. It's perhaps the best blowjob he has ever given me. When he looks back up at me I know what I want tonight. I want him in me. He has no objections to that.
He crawls down the bed and stands up. He places me near the edge, my legs dangling over. He grabs a bottle of lube and continues to work on my ass, opening it up ever so slowly. I don't wince in pain this time, only shut my eyes and start to tilt my head back. When he moves his fingers out of my ass I open my eyes and look at him with a sinister smile. He nods ever so slightly, and I know he is ready. And so am I.
I move my legs around his waist as he positions his dick against my hole. He puts his hands on my legs and pushes in. I gasp. He moans. After weeks of distance and misery, I finally feel that wonderful connection with him. We're back. Stronger than ever. He pushes in slowly, fucking for the first time, more than just his boyfriend, but his lover. As he fucks me I feel a different type of passion. I feel I am a part of him, a connection of him. He fucks me for what feels like eternity. Each thrust is long. Each thrust is hard. Each thrust is pleasurable. He leans down and kisses me, all the while continuing to enter into me. There really is no better feeling.
I'm finally where I belong. I'm home.
For a moment we just stay still. I stare into his eyes, wondering what is going through his mind. There is an emotion in them I can't really describe. I can tell he is happy, but there is something else, he seems ... I don't know how to describe it ...
I rub my hand against his under the sheets, and his lips curl into a smile. I smile back at him.
"That was amazing," I say. The sex was phenomenal, perhaps the best we've ever had. I'm not sure if it was the time apart, or because I decided to move in, but there was a spark in me I have never felt before.
"It really was," he agrees. "I'm still surprised you are here with me. What made you change your mind about moving in together?" he asks me.
"It was actually something you said."
"Something I said?" He repeats taken aback. "I don't remember saying anything all that important."
"Sometimes even the smallest phrases can have a big impact. We were talking about writing our own destiny and taking risks. You reminded me that if I hadn't taken a risk we would never be where we are today. If I hadn't fought back against my initial fear, and my preconceived notion of who a man should love, I would never have started dating you. If we didn't fight back we wouldn't be this far in our relationship. And if we don't continue to fight, then we let the world win. And who in the end loses? Us."
"So, what, is this you giving the world the middle finger?"
"Exactly. Fuck the world. Fuck society. Fuck them all. Every time we try to get closer something or someone gets in the way. First it was Sebastian, then Jenn, then us literally being apart, now Aiden. I figure it is never going to end. There will always be something. And so I thought, if we don't take this opportunity now then when will we? There will always be some obstacle in the way." I pause for a moment, searching for the right words. I take his hand in mine. "Waking up next to you is one of the best feelings I have ever had. And I have the opportunity to have that feeling every single day, so why shouldn't I take it? Why should I let other people influence me and take away something that will make me happy? This relationship is unchartered territory for you and me. I don't know how we are supposed to proceed or what all the logical steps are. We've both taken many risks and so far they have all paid off. So I figured let's take another together."
"I'm very glad you decided to listen to my sound advice," Noah says.
"And then of course there is the super positive side of being able to have you wherever and whenever I want," I say in what I think is my seductive voice.
"Oh, really? Who said I was that easy?" he teases me.
I let go of his hand and move mine down a bit further and brush past his erect dick. "I thought so." He blushes, like I've uncovered a big secret of his. "Is someone already up for another round?"
"Perhaps a bit later, we should go to bed, it's already midnight. Tomorrow we have to get up early and put all of your stuff away, I have to go grab some groceries, and I also have to ... "
I lean in and plant my lips on his. The best way I know to get him to stop talking. I've waited so long for this night, I'm not just going to let this moment go.
"Dude, we spent an entire month apart, we can stay up late for one night," I say.
"Fine, half-an-hour."
"Deal. Now let's see what we can do with that hard dick of yours ... "
I'll show him half-an-hour.
*** NOAH ***
The first thing I feel is his cool skin pressed against mine; his arm lightly touching my back, and his foot gently nestled against my leg. I turn to my other side to find Jordan fast asleep. His body rises and falls as he breathes in an out. He is a quiet sleeper, which is a major plus point.
There is something different about him. He's been back less than a day but I can tell he has changed. He seems more confident, more secure. He seems to be at peace. Lying there next to him, I can't help but feel more than lucky. I feel so grateful for all I have. I still can't believe how far we've come in such a short period of time. I'm still that shy, nervous, bumbling guy, and always will be I think, but I am starting to open up. It's all thanks to the man lying next to me.
By the time I get out of bed it is already noon. Jordan doesn't get up until two in the afternoon. We had a very, very late night. That was Jordan's fault. But I figured it was a night to celebrate, so I let him have his fun. When he eventually wakes up, he is in a hurry. He quickly gets ready and swallows some food (I say swallow because I am quite sure he didn't chew). He is late to pick up Aiden from the airport, so he rushes out the door to catch the train. Jordan figured it would be easier if he met Aiden at the airport since Aiden has never been in the city before.
While Jordan is gone, I take the opportunity to re-arrange some stuff in my apartment, I mean our apartment, to make more room. I empty out the front closet where I keep my jacket and shoes, for Jordan to put his clothes. I also make some space in the kitchen just in case he wants to store something there too. The biggest challenge though is the living room. There is only a small couch and television and there isn't much space to actually move them around. Once I've managed to make some space, I go out to grab a few things. My first stop is the hardware store for an inflatable bed, and a special gift for Jordan. From there I run to IKEA to grab some curtains and a small storage unit. Once I am back at home I inflate the bed and put it against the wall and assemble the storage unit next to it. I throw some sheets on top and a pillow to make it look like an actual bed. After that I put up the curtains to create some sort of a barrier. When I am done it actually looks like a separate room, albeit more like a cube. The living room barely exists anymore. The thing is, Jordan has no need to ever use this space, or sleep here; his spot is next to me. But it's a good idea to have a plan B, just in case Aiden comes over. The last thing I do is place my special gift in a box, write his name on it, and put it on the bed. After that I start to get dinner ready.
A few hours later Jordan arrives back home. Back to our home. It sounds so nice rolling off my tongue.
"Hey," he says as I open the door. "Something smells good."
"Oh, just something small I whipped up," I reply back.
He stops and stares at the curtains. "Now I know I don't usually pay much attention to details, but I am quite sure those weren't there when I left."
"Um ... those curtains have always been there dude ..."
"Ha, ha, ha ... seriously, what's up with the curtains?"
"Go ahead, open it up and take a look," I say.
He looks at me like I am crazy, but steps forward and opens up the curtains, then looks back at me.
"When did you do all this?"
"Just now," I say. "So, what do you think?"
"It's um ... it looks like an actual separate room ... a really, really, really small one ..."
"Do you like it?" I ask.
"Yeah ... it's great ..."
"You know that's only for show, right? You won't actually sleep there."
And now he looks relieved. "I knew that."
"Of course you did buddy."
"Thank you Noah, this is, it really is amazing."
"No problem," I say coming over to him. I place my hand on his shoulder. "I thought this way if Aiden does ever show up, or anyone else, we have a plan B."
"It really is amazing. Thank you so much for doing all of this. I feel so bad; I just ruined your living room. I'll repay you whatever this cost."
"Don't worry about it, think of it as a present; a gift for you saying yes to moving in ... eventually. Besides, it's not like you have any need to actually use this bed ever."
"True, unless we get into a fight or something then I ..." he stops mid-sentence.
"Then what? Are you already planning our next fight?" I tease him.
"Never mind you."
"Alright, go get changed, dinner is ready."
"Ok, I'll be back in a minute."
I head off into the kitchen. A few minutes later I see Jordan walk in with the box I placed on the bed.
"Dude, you really shouldn't have," he says. "I can't accept another gift."
"It's nothing, just open it." I can see him hesitate. "Just open it."
Jordan unwraps the package finding a house key. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it. I thought you'd need that, it is kind of important. Now let's eat, I'm starving. All of this was a lot of work!"
"You really know how to spoil a guy," he says to me.
"Don't expect something like this every day."
"Well it's too late now. You've raised the bar way too high. I'm expecting a surprise every time I come home now."
"Oh you'll get a surprise alright. Now be useful and grab some plates." He just looks confused. "Jordan, you've been here several times, how do you not know where the plates are? No, they're in the other cabinet. The one to your left. No your OTHER left. Genius." He just smiles back at me as I roll my eyes.
"Love you," he says with a cheesy smile.
"Yeah, yeah, save it." Once we get settled in and put some food on our plates I ask him about Aiden.
"He's good. Excited to be here. He wanted to go out for dinner tonight, and I really had to work aggressively to get out of it. I figured missing our first real night living together wouldn't go down well with you."
"You're a smart guy. So, whereabouts does he live?"
"A little too close for comfort. About a 10 minute walk from here," Jordan says.
"Who is he staying with?"
"Another friend from Australia who is also here for a co-op placement."
"That's good, he has someone else he can hang out with from time to time," I say.
"Yeah, it is."
"So, have you thought about what you're going to say to him, or if we have to do anything in particular?"
"Um, I don't think so. I think to Aiden, or to anyone else, including my other friends, we are just two guy friends living together as roommates, and that's that. My friends all know I have a tight budget so they shouldn't be surprised I moved to save some money."
"True. Alright, so we should probably go over some house rules or chores," I say.
"Ugh, really? House rules? You're such a bore Noah ..."
A bore, eh? "I was thinking, how do you feel about implementing a rule forbidding you from wearing a shirt while at home?"
"What?" He was not expecting that.
See this can be fun. Next up a rule about no pants. (Insert evil smile here)
*** JORDAN ***
It is the sound I hate the most. The sound of the alarm clock. It signals an end to my blissful sleep. And the worst part, it's only seven in the morning! Noah has a class at eight o'clock he has to get ready for. So here I am, lying in bed, grumpy and angry since I had to wake up too; a disadvantage of having to share a bed with someone else. It doesn't take him long to get ready. He just throws on whatever he can find, runs his hand through his permanently messy hair, quickly devours a bowl of cereal, and runs through the door.
I manage to fall back asleep for another three hours; I don't have class until 11. I kept all of my classes as late as possible. I am not a morning person. Unfortunately, my school schedule doesn't really match with Noah's. He has more morning classes, while I have afternoon lectures. We don't have any classes together anymore either. He is now focusing more on his core courses, and so isn't taking as many electives. It's a shame. I really liked having class with him.
Noah and I haven't really gotten into any sort of a routine yet. It's Wednesday, and we've only been living together for a few days now. I think it will take time for us to adjust. We aren't getting that much sleep at night, if you know what I mean. Hey, a guy has needs after being away from his boyfriend for so long! But I am sure that will calm down too really soon. I am also proud to say we haven't really had any fights yet. We've been sort of close. I, like usual, like to throw my clothes wherever I want, and Noah clearly doesn't like that. I've been given a stern warning already. I knew this would happen, and I was prepared for it. Noah is a bit of a neat freak. Overall though, I am happy I moved in. Last night we had a nice hot steamy shower together which was amazing. Then there is also the simple stuff, like leaning against him while we watch television together. It is nice to just be close to him. The more time I spend with Noah, the more I realize this is where I need to be, with him. This is my place in the world. This is right.
Even though my class isn't until 11, I still manage to show up a few minutes late. It really isn't my fault! This building is totally confusing. The class is rudimentary; the basics of what to read, when the essay is due, what to expect from the lectures, etc. After it is finished I head off towards the gym for volleyball practice. I am excited to see the guys again and get back on the court. I'm not so excited though to see Sebastian and deal with him. For the most part, practice is like usual, nothing spectacular. We only have two more games left in our league, and right now we are in danger of not moving on, so we have to win the next matches. Everyone is quite serious about training. I also catch up with all of the guys about what they did on their breaks. A few of them comment how distant I was last semester, and how I barely attended any social events. I promise them I will try more in the future. Much to my dismay, even though I try to avoid him, I am forced to talk to Sebastian too. We don't say much, just exchange pleasantries and a bit of banter about how our holidays were. I still really don't like him.
After practice I stop by my place to shower and change. I'm meeting Aiden tonight for dinner. It works out well actually because Noah is meeting Jenn tonight. I am sort of nervous about meeting Aiden. I've been thinking a lot about coming out to him. I feel so much more comfortable with myself that I think I am ready. Being with Noah feels right. It is what I am meant to do. Plus, I've been thinking maybe I am meant to tell him. So hear me out. I don't believe in chance or luck. I've been sort of confused because I have no one to talk to about being gay. The one person I do talk to lives in Australia, and yet by some force of nature he decides to move here. Maybe that's a sign that I should tell Aiden. Maybe it is fate? The only problem is, I don't really know his views on homosexuality. We've never sort of talked about it, which is odd since we live in a very liberal country. So, on purpose, tonight I've picked a restaurant close to the gay village, and gave him directions on how to get here that will make him walk by the neighbourhood. I'm hoping it will spark some sort of conversation with him.
"Hey Aiden," I say when he walks in.
"Hey man, how are you?"
"Good, but tired. Had volleyball practice today after a long time away and I feel like I have no energy left."
"Well, if it is any consolation, you look like crap too. And I'm fine, thanks for asking."
"Wow, thanks, you always make me feel so much better," I say. Alright so I need to get the conversation going, but maybe it's too soon, so instead I ask: "So, how are you liking the city?"
"From what I've seen so far, it's really nice. The city is beautiful; really clean, the people are friendly, helpful with directions, since I keep getting lost. There is a lot to do here, and good food options too. I'm really liking it so far. I haven't seen much of the city yet, but I'll try to take in some sights soon."
Alright, this is my opening, I can just ask him if he got lost today. "So, did you find this place alright?"
"Actually yeah, the directions you gave were surprisingly really good and easy to understand. It was really simple."
Dammit. That didn't work, he didn't say anything! Maybe that means he doesn't care and homosexuality doesn't bother him. If he was against gays he would have said something right? Right? Ah man, this is confusing. "I'm glad you found it okay. This is a nice area, has a lot of good restaurants."
"Cool. I'm assuming this is the gay ..."
"Good evening guys, I'm ..."
Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Dammit! That is the worst timing ever! Just as Aiden was about to talk about this area the waitress walks by! Ugh, I have the worst luck ever. My master plan is ruined. She explains the specials, gives us our menus, takes our drink order, and walks away.
"So," Aiden says, "how is school?"
And that closes the previous conversation. Great. Now on to attempt number two.
"So," I ask Aiden, "do you watch the show 'Modern Family'?"
"Yeah, it is really funny," he says.
"Yeah, it is. Phil and Claire are hilarious," I say.
"Yeah they are. Gloria is hot."
"Yeah ..." That's not where I want to take this. "And Cam is funny too."
"You know what is a great show? 'How I Met Your Mother'."
Oh great, there goes that opportunity. Wait, actually hmm. "Yeah, it is. I really Barney; he's hilarious," I say.
"He is. What do you think about him and Robin getting married?"
"Um ... it's cool. You know it's interesting how he plays a womanizer but in real life he is gay."
"Yeah I ..."
"Alright guys ..." says the waitress ...
Oh, you have to be kidding? Really? Again! The waitress has to come NOW with our food! Maybe this is my fate. Maybe this is a sign that I should just drop this conversation.
"Are you watching the latest season of 'Family Guy'?" Aiden asks when the waitress leaves.
Well, there goes that chance. Midway through our dinner I get a text from Noah.
"I have a nice, hard present, waiting for you when you get back home tonight :)"
I can't help but let out a little laugh and smile. I text him back:
"Can't wait :)"
"Your girlfriend checking up on you?" Aiden asks.
"Sorry?" I say looking back up at Aiden.
"Is that your girlfriend checking up on you?"
"Oh, um, yeah." I know I should tell Aiden there is no girl but I just need a little more time, I need to know what he thinks first about homosexuality.
"How are things going with her?"
"Good ... actually really good." Dammit! Again, I can't help but smile and blush a bit.
"Whoa, are you blushing dude? I've never seen you do that before over a girl. Holy crap, you're really falling for her aren't you?"
"I've never felt this way before about anyone. When we're together I feel ... I don't know how to describe it but ... I feel ... happy. It just feels right, you know what I mean?"
"Dude you're in deep. Do you think she is the one?"
Again, I can't help but smile. "Maybe."
"Maybe my ass, you're face is giving you away. Dude, that is awesome! So when do I get to meet her?"
And now my smile goes away. "Soon, I promise. I just need some time to figure everything out."
"And there you go again with your cryptic messages. Honestly, until I see this girl, I'm not going to be certain if she is real. I really hope she is real."
Err ... well she kind of isn't real. "You'll just have to wait and see my friend."
The rest of the dinner goes by without me finding a clever way to bring up the topic of homosexuality again. When we reach the door I am about to part ways with him, since I live in the opposite direction. I guess it wasn't meant to be. No, screw that! I'm going to try one more time.
"Alright man, I'll see you later," Aiden says.
"Wait, I'll walk you home."
"Don't you live down there somewhere?" he asks pointing in the direction where I live. Since when did he become a pro with directions?
"Yeah, but that's fine, I'll walk with you. Don't want you to get lost."
"That's alright man, you don't have to. It's freezing cold. Go home."
"It's okay, trust me."
"Whatever dude," he says.
So we walk off towards the gay village of the city. Alright, you can do this Jordan. You really need to do this.
"So, this is the famous gay village."
"Really? All those rainbow flags didn't give it away."
"Whatever, smart-ass. So, what do you think?"
"About what?" he asks.
"About the village."
"Um ... it's nice, I don't know."
"Do you find it offensive?" I ask rather unsure. I'm not sure how I am supposed to frame that question.
"Why would I find it offensive?" he asks confused.
"I don't know, I wasn't sure what your position is on homosexuality ... I thought maybe you're against it ..."
"What? Why in the world would you think that? I'm more liberal than you are! I honestly don't care who other people love, it doesn't bother me. One of my good friends in Australia is gay. It isn't a big deal. Wait ... why ... do you have something against gays?"
"Me? No ... no ... I don't. I was just wondering ... anyway Sunday afternoon I have a volleyball game you should come and watch ..." I try my best to change the subject.
"Sounds good. I'll definitely come. Alright man, thanks for walking me home. I'm here safe. Do you want to come inside for a beer?"
"Um, no man, another time. I should get home; I have class tomorrow."
"Alright, suit yourself. See you later."
"See ya."
He doesn't have a problem with it. Of course he doesn't have a problem! I'm an idiot to think he would! It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. I can tell him now. I can tell him the truth. The idea of telling him sends a shiver down my spine. It could also be because of the cold wind. The idea of coming out to him excites me and makes me nervous as hell. But I think I can do this. The next time I see him I will tell him. I can do this.
*** NOAH ***
"Okay, what in the world is that?" Jenn asks pointing to the infamous curtain in my living room.
"That is the spare bedroom."
"The what now?" Jenn doesn't ask my permission to see what's behind the curtain, she just opens it up.
"I made it for Jordan, just in case someone ever came over so that they would think he actually has a separate room. It is just a safety precaution really."
"Hmm, makes sense. Are you guys really still that worried that someone will find out?"
"There is nothing wrong in being prepared," I say.
"No there isn't, but your relationship with Jordan has progressed really far. The two of you are living together now! I've never been that serious with anyone. Don't you think it is time you started to open up about your sexuality?"
"I want to Jenn, I do, but I just don't want my parents to find out."
"They won't find out Noah. You're here, they're all the way on the other side of the country!"
"I know that ... but still. You know how they are. I just can't. Not right now. For now I am happy in my bubble."
"I'm not trying to pressure you into anything," Jenn says.
"I know you're not. I know you're right. And I will get there eventually."
"That makes sense. So anyway, how is it living with Jordan?"
"It is really good. I'm really glad he decided to move in. I'm really starting to get to know him on a deeper level," I say.
"Uh-huh, I know what that means. The two of you are fucking like non-stop."
Even though I've known Jenn for all this time, her bluntness still catches me off-guard sometimes. "That is none of your business Jenn."
"Please don't tell me you did it on this couch I'm sitting on," she says with a smirk.
"We did actually, all night long, right in that spot where you're sitting," I smirk back.
"So how is it anyway, how is Jordan in bed?"
"Um ... yeah, we're not talking about that."
"Oh come on Noah, you tell me everything."
"Yeah, but not that."
"So, who is the top and who is the bottom?" she asks.
"You know the terms now?" I ask.
"I looked it up, I was curious. I bet you're on the bottom, you seem like a bottom to me. Jordan seems like a top."
"I'm not answering that."
"That means I am right," she smiles.
"Not saying anything."
"So how does it feel, you know, having a dick shoved up your butt, anyway? It must feel good if you keep doing it, right?"
"There is a sex store not too far from here, go and buy a dildo and try it out and let me know how it goes," I say.
"Fine, at least tell me this. You've slept with a girl and a guy ... which do you think is better?"
"Isn't the answer kind of obvious?" I say.
"Yeah, I guess so. Whatever, fine don't tell me anything. I will pry it out of you eventually. Right now I have to use the bathroom!"
That conversation made me feel both very uncomfortable and sort of horny at the same time. When Jenn is gone I text Jordan.
"I have a nice, hard present, waiting for you when you get back home tonight :)"
He texts me back. "Can't wait :)"
The rest of the evening goes by quickly. Jenn and I talk about school, and life in general. She doesn't pester me anymore about my love life. Around 11 o'clock Jordan comes home. He sits down next to me and starts to lean on me.
"I'm exhausted," he says. "It's been a long day."
"Aww, you two look so cute together," Jenn says.
The two of them talk for a while and catch up. There really doesn't seem to be any hint of resentment between them anymore, which I have to say I am really happy about. I'm glad everything is working out and going smoothly. Around midnight Jenn leaves and Jordan makes his way to the bedroom to go to bed. I grab onto his arm and drag him back into the living room and push him down onto the couch and start to take off my clothes.
"Here?" he asks.
"Yep. And I want it hard. Don't ask why."
"Whatever. Fine by me."
*** JORDAN ***
Friday, there really is no better day. There is just one little hurdle to get over before the weekend, my geography class. It is an elective I have to take and I decided this time I would pick something easy, not like English. I heard this course is a really easy A. Even though the class doesn't start until 12, again, like before, I am late. Again, it is not my fault. There were so many people in my way walking slowly. As I walk in I hear someone whisper my name. It's Jenn. She motions for me to sit beside her. That's odd, I saw her the other day, and she didn't mention she was in this class.
"Hi ..." I say to her quietly.
"Hey," she responds.
"I'm surprised to see you here."
"I only added this class yesterday. I'm short an elective."
"Oh," I respond.
"You said it was easy the other night, so I thought might as well."
"Gotcha."
We don't talk much during the rest of the class. The professor goes over pretty routine stuff. The textbook we need, due date for the essay, and other class requirements. The good thing is he lets us go early!
"So, are you enjoying living with Noah?" Jenn asks me as we get up from our seats.
"Yeah, I really am."
"Gotten in trouble yet?"
"Sort of. He really is a neat freak," I say.
"Yup."
"I'll get the hang of it eventually, I hope."
"Oh, you'll be fine," she says to me.
The two of us walk out of the building together where we part ways. I am off to meet John. I haven't seen him since I got back to school, and he hasn't been very thrilled with that. I know I have been a terrible friend to him these past few months, and I am going to try to change that. Even Noah agrees with me that I should work on my friendship with John. I need to maintain a social network outside of my relationship with Noah and hang out with other people from time to time. And I do like spending time with John; he is a good guy.
"Hey John," I say walking into the school cafeteria.
"Hey man," John replies. "How are ya?"
"I'm good. You?"
"Alright. How was your trip back home?"
We talk about our time back home and how everything is going. I mention to John that my friend Aiden is now living here for the next few months, and I have been busy also hanging out with him. That is a lie, but I figure when I don't want to hang out with John I can always say I am busy because I have plans with Aiden. John for the most part just goes on and on about a girl he met and banged a few times. His previous relationship, the one he was so proud had gone on for a few weeks, had, not surprisingly, ended.
"So, are you seeing anyone?" John asks me.
According to John, I haven't dated, or slept with, anyone after Jenn, which was a few months ago now. John thinks this is odd and that I should be with someone, which I don't really understand. I've never been a super promiscuous guy. As long as I've known John, I have generally been in a relationship, but I'm not sure why he has this idea that I am obsessed with getting laid.
"No man, still single."
"Well, this semester we are going to change that. We are going clubbing tonight and you are going to find a nice hot girl to take back to your dorm room and have fun with."
"That sounds great man, but I can't. I have plans tonight." Noah and I are going on a date.
"I know what that means. Who is she?"
"What?"
"Her name. Who's the girl you're taking out?"
"I'm not going out with a girl," I say rather irritated.
I don't know why everything comes down to dating with John. He's right though. I am going on a date. Just not with a 'her'. The first lie that comes to my head is that I have plans with Aiden. It is an easy lie, and it is why I told John about Aiden in the first place. But as soon as I open my mouth, a thought hits me. Why is it okay for me to hang out with Aiden and not Noah? "I'm meeting one of my other friends tonight."
"Who? That guy Aiden?" John asks.
Why does he have to be so nosey! But I shouldn't have to hide Noah as a friend. "Noah."
"That guy from your English class?" John acts like he doesn't know who I am talking about when he clearly does.
"Yeah him."
"Okay ... " he looks rather amused.
"Any problems?"
"No, whatever, I don't care who your friends are. Eli and I are meeting at 10 o'clock. I'll text you the place. Drop by, and bring along your friend." He says the word 'friend' oddly. It really pisses me off.
"I'll try man. Alright I gotta head on home," I say.
"Me too. I'll walk with you."
"Actually, I'm walking that way," I say pointing in the opposite direction from the dorms. "I moved into an apartment."
"Oh, sweet," John says. "Are you on your own or with roommates?"
"Roommate." I know why I say the next part. I wasn't planning on it, but John just made me so angry with his stupid attitude towards me being friends with Noah. "I'm actually living with Noah."
"Oh ... okay." I can tell he isn't sure what to say. Good.
"He had a spare room, and the rent was cheaper than the dorm, so I thought, why not?"
"That's good man."
"Alright, I'll see you later John. Bye!"
"Bye ..."
"Are you sure about this?" Noah asks me. He looks nervous.
"Absolutely. What's the worst that can happen?"
"Um, someone could recognize us."
"And so what? That means they're gay too. It'll be fine. Live a little man."
"Fine ... if you say so."
I grab Noah's hand as we walk into a dark room filled with people. There is mist in the air, and spotlights swirling around. You can barely hear yourself think, the music is so loud. The room is hot, filled with sweaty bodies, dancing against one another in the middle of the room. There are several televisions on the wall showing guys having sex. So, this is what a gay club is like. It is the first time I've ever been to one. I hold on tight to Noah's hand as we navigate through the crowd to the bar.
"So, what do you think?" I ask Noah.
"It's loud," he yells back.
"I know, but clubs are always loud."
I know this is the first time Noah has been to a gay club. And actually, it is also one of the few times he has ever been to a club, period. He really isn't the club kind of guy. That didn't come as a shock to me. Neither am I, but I do like to come from time to time. After we have our first drink I motion Noah to the dance floor. "Alright, let's go!"
Now Noah looks really horrified. "You go. I'm okay."
"I'm not leaving you. I don't want you running off with another man," I say with a smile.
"I really can't dance."
"Yes you can, everyone can. Just sway your hips and mimic what the other guys are doing."
"I can't. I'll look like an idiot."
"Who cares? You're not here to impress anyone. Besides you're guaranteed to get laid tonight no matter what, even if you do look like an idiot, which I assure you won't happen, so it's all good."
"I'm not sure you'll want to sleep with me after you see me dance."
"Well, there is only one way to find out," I say grabbing Noah's hand.
We move onto the dance floor, which is packed with other people. I let loose, letting the music dictate how I move. Noah just stands there, shifting from one foot to the other. I grab hold of Noah's hips and start moving his body.
"I told you I suck," Noah says.
"You look super sexy, just loosen up. Here." I take my hand and unbutton the top of Noah's shirt so that the top of his chest is showing. "Show a little cleavage. It won't hurt you."
Noah clearly isn't comfortable with showing that much of his body, but he doesn't say anything. He slowly starts to move more and get into the music. I don't notice how the time passes by. I just continue to dance, as guys, "accidentally" bump in to us. Many guys have smiled at me as they dance or walk by, and I have to say it makes me feel really good. Even Noah is getting some glances and stares too. Whenever a guy smiles at him, he just blushes and puts his head down. At one point he sort of jumps and quickly looks around.
"I think that guy just groped me," he says.
"You're a sexy guy; guys have been checking you out all night."
"They're all staring at you."
I just smile back at him. "And you as well. Are you having fun at least?"
"I am."
"Good, now don't be afraid to move your body!"
We spend another hour on the dance floor as Noah slowly loosens up a bit more. I know he can dance; he is just being shy and nervous. The more he drinks the more he starts to relax. We dance until two a.m., when Noah finally persuades me to go home because his feet are hurting.
"You're a good dancer," Noah says as we walk out.
"So are you."
"Thank you."
"For what?" I ask.
"Convincing me to come. I had a lot of fun. Though I didn't enjoy being felt up."
"You're welcome. And thank you," I say.
"For?" he asks.
"Making the last three months the best of my life."
"You remembered." He looks surprised.
Three months ago I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I dumped Jenn and went to Noah's apartment and convinced him to be with me. "Of course I did."
I lean in to give Noah a kiss. A perfect end to a perfect night. My lips barely touch Noah's for a second before he pulls away. That was the most bizarre kiss I've even had with Noah. I assume it is because we're standing on a street in public. It feels like he pulls away because he is ashamed of me, but I push that thought aside. It is probably because he is nervous someone will see us. It hurts me that he pulls away, but I don't say anything. We walk the rest of the way home in silence.
*** NOAH ***
I am going to kick Jordan when he comes home. Why can't he just put away his clothes, or neatly fold them when he goes out? His pyjamas are on the bed, the cereal box is on the counter, and his bowl is still sitting on the table. He didn't even put it in the sink! The first few days I put everything away, but today I decide not to. I can't clean up after him or he will just keep doing the same thing again and again. He'll learn eventually.
It's been interesting living with Jordan this past week. I've never lived with anyone else, besides my parents and siblings, but that was different. I'm used to being on my own. That's not to say I don't like having him around. I do. I really, really do. It's nice not to eat alone. Or just to have someone to lean against while watching television. The best part is having someone warm to sleep beside at night. Though we haven't been sleeping all too much.
And speaking of Jordan, there he is.
"Honey, I'm home!" he yells as he walks in.
"Honey?" I repeat rather amused.
"I've always wanted to say that to someone when I came home."
"Do you think I am the woman in this relationship?" I ask him, trying to be serious.
"No, I didn't um, mean that, I was just uh ... " he says nervously. He is starting to blush. He looks so cute when he gets nervous.
"I'm just messing with you man. It's fun to see you dance on your feet. But don't call me honey." I say walking up to him. I stop to give him a quick kiss on the lips.
"Noted."
"How was your run?" I ask.
"Good."
It is Sunday morning. Jordan has his volleyball game today. I thought it was a bad idea for him to run beforehand, but Jordan thought it would help him clear his mind. He's the athlete, not me!
"So, what do you want for lunch?" I ask.
"Actually, I was thinking ... I got a message from Aiden and he was wondering if I wanted to meet for lunch before my game."
"Okay." I don't know Aiden well, but I am starting not to like him! "You should go."
"Actually, I was thinking you should come with me."
Meet Aiden? I don't know about that. The thought of meeting him makes me nervous. "I don't know Jordan, whatever you think is right."
"I think it would be really good if you met him. I am going to tell him about us soon, but I thought maybe it would be a good idea if he met you first and knew who you were. That way when I tell him, it will be easier. Plus, he's my best friend since childhood, the guy who knows me better than most people. I would like it if you two were friends too."
"I don't want to be a third-wheel."
"You're not a third-wheel. We're a team, you and me. We come together as a package, like a pair of ... socks!" He says energetically.
"A pair of socks? That's the best you could come up with? Clearly that run didn't help clear your head."
"Whatever, you know what I mean. Come with me, please. We should be fine. He won't figure out anything. As long as you don't sit there ogling me and drooling over me, which I know is hard for you not to do, we should be okay."
I can't help but laugh at him. "Really? Drooling over you?" What a guy. "Someone sure is cocky today."
"For you honey," he emphasizes the word honey, "I'm cocky every night."
"I really can't believe how lame you are sometimes. Now before we go anywhere, go wash your dishes!"
"Ugh, fine ... "
I don't know why I am nervous about meeting Aiden, but I am. I've never met anyone from Jordan's past. John and Eli don't count. They are friends he made here. But Aiden is different, he is his best friend, and Jordan wants me to be his friend too. But what if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I am odd and wonders why Jordan is hanging out with me, like John does? This is the first person that I am trying to gain approval from in a way. Fine Aiden doesn't know Jordan and I are dating, but still it sort of counts. I am also nervous that I will say or do something stupid in front of Aiden that will give us away. I'm sure I won't but I am still kind of worried. The last thing I want to do is out Jordan to his best friend. I would be pissed if someone did that to me.
"You ready?" Jordan asks me.
"Almost."
"You've been changing for 30 minutes now. Usually I'm the one that takes forever."
"I know, I know. I just can't find anything good to wear."
"You're not trying to seduce Aiden, just meet him," he teases me. "What you have on now is fine man."
"I don't know."
"It's only Aiden. He won't care what you wear."
"I know, just give me a few more minutes," I say.
"Fine, but be quick."
A few minutes later I walk out into the living room to find a somewhat irritated Jordan. "Sorry," I say.
"It's okay. You look good."
"Thanks."
"Now let's go!"
We're about to head out when Jordan stops and gives me a long and hard kiss.
"What was that for?" I ask.
"I figured that throughout lunch you will be dying to touch these lips, so I thought I would satisfy your needs before we go out." I just give him a really dirty look. Jordan is trying to be serious, but he cracks and starts to laugh. "I'm joking man. I really appreciate that you're trying to impress Aiden for me. Just don't impress him too much. You're still coming back home with me," he says with a grin.
"Hmm, we'll see about that. Now we should really get going."
When Jordan turns around to open the door, I grab his ass with both of my hands and squeeze hard on his cheeks.
He turns around a bit shocked. "Oye, what was that for?"
"Just satisfying my needs before we go out." I say with an evil grin on my face.
He smiles. "I've created a monster."
It is only a short walk to the restaurant. Aiden is already there when we arrive.
"Hey man," Jordan says as Aiden gets up.
"Hey, I was starting to think you weren't going to show," Aiden replies.
"Sorry man, it took me a while to get ready. I hope it's okay, I brought along my roommate, Noah."
"Yeah, absolutely. It's nice to meet you," Aiden says to me while shaking my hand.
"Nice to meet you too," I say as we all sit down. Jordan and I sit next to each other on one side, with Aiden on the other.
"I thought you lived in university housing?" Aiden asks Jordan.
"I did, but it was really crappy and expensive. Noah had a spare room, and it was cheaper. I actually just moved in with him last week."
"Oh," Aiden says. He then turns to me. "I feel sorry for you."
"Why?" I ask rather curious.
"You have to live with this ogre," Aiden replies.
"I'm not an ogre!" Jordan says in his defence.
"Maybe not now, but just give it a few weeks, your crappy habits will start to show," Aiden says.
"You're not any better, if I recall," Jordan says.
"Have you two lived together before?" I ask.
"No," Aiden says, "but I've seen his room many times before. You usually can't tell where the floor is, because it is littered with clothes. Plus, I've gone camping with Jordan before, and the one thing I remember clearly is Jordan is not a morning person. There was this one time ..."
"Alright, maybe we should decide what to order," Jordan interrupts.
"Fine," Aiden says. "I'll tell you later," he says to me.
So far so good. Aiden seems like a really nice guy and is pretty funny. During the conversation I text Jenn, asking if she is going to join us tonight at the game. I mention to her that I am at lunch with Jordan and Aiden right now. Not even two seconds after I send the text she calls me.
"Excuse me," I say getting up from the table. I walk into the corner and answer. "Hi Jenn."
"So ... is he hot?"
"Really? No hi, or hello, or how are you? Is knowing about Aiden so important that you had to call right away?"
"Yes. I want details, pronto."
"What details, we just got here. I'll call you back later."
"Fine. But before you go tell me if he is hot at least."
"What does that matter to you?"
"It matters."
"He's okay."
"Okay? Noah, I already know you're gay. It's okay for you to check out other men. And okay is not an answer."
"Fine, he's good looking. Happy?"
"How does he look?"
"Ugh, I hate you. He's tall, probably at least six feet. He has really nice hair actually, dark brown, which sort of falls over his forehead. It seems like he goes to the gym. Not like muscular or anything, but in shape I guess. Better shape than me for sure. Is that good enough your highness?"
"For now. See, you did notice!"
Of course I noticed! I'm not that dumb. "Yeah, I gotta run now Jenn."
"Alright have a good lunch. I'll try to drop by later. Don't say anything stupid!"
"Thanks for believing in me," I say with sarcasm.
"Always! Bye."
"Sorry about that," I say returning to the table. "What did I miss?"
"Nothing much, just talking about old times," Jordan says.
"So tell me Aiden, what was Jordan like when he was younger?"
"A total loser," Aiden says.
"I was not a loser," Jordan protests.
"You were. He was not cool at all, well, until he met me that is. I saved his sorry soul."
"Whatever man, I saved you. I was in the cool group," Jordan responds.
"You were in band!" Aiden laughs.
"You were in band? What instrument did you play?" I ask Jordan.
"The saxophone, which is a cool instrument."
"And what about high school?" I ask.
"High school was better," Aiden says. "Once he got over that terrible acne phase."
"It was bad," Jordan confirms.
"I made him join the gym, introduced him to volleyball ..."
Jordan cuts off Aiden. "You didn't introduce me to volleyball. I was the one who said we should join the team in the first place ... "
"... No, it was me. I saw the poster remember, and then was like we should ..."
"... No, there was no poster. The gym teacher, um, whatever his name is, said I was good and ..."
" ... He thought everyone who tried was good at sports," Aiden replies.
"As I recall I made the team and you didn't," Jordan says.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Thanks to me. My point is, Jordan was less of a geek, but clearly he became more arrogant, which still is the case today."
The two continue to argue with each other for a while. I find it rather amusing. It is nice to see Jordan with a childhood friend, and to hear about his past.
"Hey, that reminds me," Aiden says, "is your girlfriend coming to your game tonight?"
Say what now? I can't help but turn to Jordan with a puzzled look on my face. But I quickly realize that I should not look confused and look the other way.
"She, um, no, uh, she can't make it tonight," Jordan says rather hesitantly.
"Oh, that really sucks; I was hoping to finally meet her. Another time I suppose," Aiden says.
"Yeah, another time ..."
The conversation goes on for a little while longer, until Aiden excuses himself to use the bathroom. The moment he is out of sight I turn to Jordan and whisper.
"Uh, so is there something you want to tell me?"
"I can explain," Jordan says.
"I really hope so."
"You know that I don't have anyone to talk to. You have Jenn, but I don't have anyone who knows about, you know, us. So, when I was confused about dating you, I talked to Aiden. It was probably one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had because I had to be super careful. He assumed I was talking about a girl, and I didn't correct him. A few times I've asked him for advice, and it's been kind of nice to have someone to talk to. I told him all of this thinking he would be in Australia, not here. But I've decided I'm going to tell him the truth about what is going on. I just haven't had the chance yet. But I promise I will meet him tomorrow night and tell him the truth. I am really sorry Noah. I hope you're not angry."
Wow ... I don't know what to say. Am I angry? Kind of. It is a bit insulting to be called a girl. But then again, I know where Jordan is coming from. At least I have Jenn. He doesn't have anyone besides me. I'm not sure what I would do if I were in his shoes ...
"I should be angry, I think, but I'm not. I don't like it that you have a pretend girlfriend ... it does hurt to be honest with you. But then I understand where you're coming from. As to coming out man, that is up to you, and I won't force you to do anything you don't want to. But, I think you should at least break up with this pretend girlfriend because Aiden will figure it out sooner or later." I notice Aiden is walking back towards us so I stop talking.
"You're right," Jordan whispers back to me as Aiden sits down. "Hey man, sorry to cut this lunch short, but I gotta run now. I am meeting the team a bit before practice."
"Alright, that's fine. But before you go where are you playing?" Aiden asks.
"Ah crap, I thought I emailed you the directions. We're not playing at our school, but at a different one a bit further away from here. Let me see if I have that email in my phone still ..."
"Don't worry about it Jordan. I'll bring him with me," I say.
"Is that okay with you Aiden?" Jordan asks.
"Yeah man, that's fine. I'm sure I'm in good hands."
"Perfect, thanks Noah," he says, while starting to lean down. It's like he is about to kiss me. But he stops, and straightens back up. "I will see you guys a bit later," Jordan says walking off.
Now, here I am, alone with Aiden. What am I supposed to say ...
"So, how did you meet Jordan?" Aiden asks me.
"In English class last semester. We were working on a book project together."
"Cool. That's interesting, I didn't think Jordan liked English. In high school he would always complain about it."
"Well, I don't think he likes it anymore, even if he did in the past. Our professor wasn't that great. He didn't really like Jordan, at least at the beginning. We both got kicked out of class once for talking too much."
"Oh, now that's not surprising. That is the Jordan I know. He was always acting like a clown in school. I spent many hours in detention because of him."
It is quite easy talking to Aiden. He is very outgoing and friendly, and the more I talk to him, the more I realize why he is friends with Jordan. They've known each other for a long time, and that is evident. He has a lot of interesting stories to tell about their past. It is good to get another account of Jordan's youth from someone else, someone who isn't biased. He tells me more about himself. He is studying computer science, a field I know absolutely nothing about. Right now he is on a co-op placement working for a computer company, on a software that does something really technical. I honestly couldn't explain it back to anyone if I tried. All I know is, he is working on a software program that does stuff. Overall, Aiden comes across as a really mellow, down-to-earth guy.
"So," Aiden says, "can I ask you a weird question that you promise not to tell Jordan about?"
"Um ... okay."
"Have you ever met his girlfriend, what's her name again ... um ... Samantha! Yeah, have you met her?"
Oh crap. What am I supposed to say to that? I know nothing about this 'girl' and I don't want to say anything that will contradict what Jordan has told him. And wait, she has a name now too? The best way I know to avoid a question is to ask one.
"Why is that a weird question?" I try to ask rather amused.
"I don't know. It's just, I've known Jordan a long time and I have seen him going out with girls before. But there is just something strange about this girl. When he talks to me about her he is really cagey, really cryptic, and he seemed so confused at the beginning. And even now he always finds an excuse for me not to meet her. I'm just kind of worried about him. Something feels wrong. I don't know what it is, but something isn't right. Anyway, I'm sorry, I don't mean to bother you with all of this. I just thought maybe you met her and knew what was going on."
So if I say I have never met her, he will continue to worry about all of this. If I say I have met her, he may feel assured, and not ask Jordan too many questions.
"Well, if it makes you feel better, I know his girlfriend, and as far as I know, I think everything is fine." That's putting it plainly. Not only do I know her, but I am her, technically.
"That actually does make me feel better, thank you."
Now I want to change the subject. "So, are you seeing anyone right now?"
"No, not really. There was this girl in Australia, but it wasn't serious. I've only been here a week, and have only met a few people so, nothing right now. You?"
I am not going to get into a big lie like Jordan. I know it feels wrong to lie, but it is easier. "No."
*** JORDAN ***
"So, what do you think, and how is it going?" I text Noah.
A short while later he responds back. "He is a good guy. Going well, don't worry."
I also send a message to Aiden. "Sorry had to leave so soon. All going well?"
He responds: "It's fine man. Noah's keeping me entertained. He's a cool guy."
Oh man, that is a relief! I know I don't need it, but getting Aiden's approval of Noah is important to me. He is the only link I have to back home, of my other life, and knowing he likes Noah, or I think he likes Noah, means a lot. It also means a lot that Noah likes Aiden and the two get along. Makes my life a lot easier.
When I get out onto the court I feel pumped. For the first time in months I feel like I have a clear idea of where my life is heading. My relationship with Noah is great and we've moved to the next level living together. Aiden is here and everything is going well with him. I feel confident enough to come out to Aiden; I'm not worried anymore. I honestly never thought I would feel this confident about coming out to him. Don't get me wrong, it still makes me nervous, but I don't feel the same paralysis that I did before. Both of them are sitting in the stands right now cheering for me. It is all working out. I honestly feel happy.
I think it is because of this energy that I have one of my best games ever. My hits are perfect; I don't miss a single ball. I've gotten a number of points off of spikes and blocks. My teammates are clearly happy and so is the coach. Even Sebastian isn't acting like himself today, which is usually like a total ass. Even he is being nice and civil. It doesn't take us long to annihilate the other team. Everything just goes perfectly. Now we just need to win our next match to move on past this league.
After I congratulate my teammates I run up to Aiden and Noah.
"Dude, you were really good out there!" Aiden exclaims.
"Yeah Jordan, you played really well," Noah adds.
"Thanks guys. Listen, the team is going out for drinks to celebrate. You guys should come too." I fill them in on the details and take off. I'm in such a good mood I also text John and Eli to come along as well.
Aiden and Noah are already there when I arrive with my teammates. I introduce them to some of my friends, as we grab drinks and sit down. I honestly feel like I am on cloud nine today. A short while later even John and Eli show up. It really is a good day.
"Hey, what happened to Jenn?" I ask Noah.
"She was running late so she couldn't make the game, but she's on her way here now."
"Awesome." The more the merrier.
"You seem really happy today," Noah says to me.
"I am. I won a great game, and am celebrating with my best friends. What more could a guy ask for?"
The problem is, all happy moments usually have an expiry date. Mine was coming up in about a few minutes. I should have seen it coming. It ended when Jenn walked into the club.
"Hey! You made it!" I say to Jenn.
"Hey! Sorry about missing the game, but congrats on winning! I heard you played really well," she says.
"Thank you!" I say putting my arm on her shoulder and turning her around. "Here, let me introduce you to my best friend Aiden. Aiden, I want you to meet ..."
He cuts me off. "I know who she is. It is such a pleasure to finally meet your girlfriend! Hello Samantha, my name is Aiden," he says extending his hand out.
What? Why does he ... oh crap. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
It hits me like a pile of bricks. The lie. The picture.
Crap.
End of Chapter 18