None So Blind by Paul1954
Well it would soon be over; the nightmare I had endured during the last year would soon come to an end and I would have to live with whatever the fates decreed. I had met the conditions. The nurse has just injected me with the anaesthetic and I can already feel my eyes starting to get heavy and maybe I can risk closing my eyes at night from here on in!
I still regret that night, when on a visit home from college I decided to let my hair down and do something immature and childish, and it has damn well nearly cost me my life, but there's no sense in torturing myself any further. I have done enough of that already! I suppose in one sense it actually HAS cost me my life for I'm certainly not the person I was a year ago, and by the time that morning comes I will have had the final part of the old Simon Callistock removed forever.
"Now I'm going to start counting backwards, and I want you to concentrate on the numbers" I heard a male voice say.
Concentrate sheez I had done enough thinking to last me a lifetime since last Halloween!
"50..49..48..47..".
It had all seemed like such a good idea at the time. My parents, both in the medical profession, were working abroad for the next sixteen months, It was supposed to help them come to terms with the loss of their daughter my sister, Stephanie. They were finding it hard, what with being surrounded by her things all the time, and they had just needed to get away. They had never blamed me for what happened, and I was glad for that, for it wasn't my fault that she decided to take my car and was sideswiped by that truck. At sixteen, she was too young to drive and besides, she was the one who had driven off when she had told me that she only wanted my keys so that she could sit in the car and listen to the radio. How was I to know what she'd do?
Still, they had left me a set of keys to the house and plenty of money to get by, and I had promised to look in from time to time to make sure that everything was all right. It was just that I thought that I needed an extended stay. It was too good an opportunity to miss and hell, I had needed to take a break from the intense studying I was going through at college. I was fed up with burning the candle at both ends and as soon as I had gotten home I sought out an old partying buddy, Geoff, and arranged to meet up for a drinking spree.
Well we had soon gotten predictably drunk, and while I was moaning about how tough things had been of late, and how I would like to do something really stupid to forget about it, he had just said:
"Well do it man, just do it"!
And do it we did.
The next night was Halloween and it seemed like a perfect time to do something stupid. Geoff and I had arranged to go out and get a costume and to meet up at his house to go 'trick or treating'. Well I had gotten this great skeleton suit and called round at the appointed time, only to find out that he hadn't bothered.
I can remember standing on his doorstep.
"How could you Geoff, you promised me"! I whined, sounding like a petulant child as he stood there in his denims and a tee-shirt, laughing at me.
"Shoot man it was just the drink talking. I didn't think you actually meant it!" he laughed again, as he looked me up and down and shook his head in disbelief.
I felt ridiculous. All of a sudden I realised what a fool I was making of myself and turned on my heels feeling a mixture of stubbornness and embarrassment, as his laughter rang in my ears.
"Well I haven't got up all like this for nothing" I said, with a tone of defiance, "so I'm going anyway" and stormed down the path and into the night, fully intending to go straight home again, and break open a bottle of bourbon.
Things didn't quite pan out that way though, as Geoff grabbed a jacket, lit a cigarette, and ran back outside to follow me.
"Hey wait up buddy. I've just gotta see this!" he called out, as he followed me down the street.
Shit there was no way that I could back out of this now without looking even more foolish so I went down a few doors and performed a trick or treat stunt.
It went better than I thought. I suppose being on the short side helped and with my costume and mask I guess I looked just like a teenager. It soon got boring though and without the benefits of having taken any alcohol, and with the addition of my sniggering 'friend' accompanying me, I soon got fed up with it, and decided to call it a day. As soon as I told Geoff he became animated again.
"Hey wait! There's just one more place that you gotta go before you stop. You gotta spook ol' Ma Freeman' she's only just around the corner"!
"Ol' Ma Freeman don't tell me that she's still alive!" I exclaimed in surprise. "I thought she'd died years ago".
"Yeah well you know what we used to say when we were kids, when we all thought that she was a witch. Well maybe she really is a witch and she'll never die. Well how about it, or are you scared?" he sniggered as he taunted me.
"Oh for God's sake don't be so stupid. I'm twenty now and hardly a kid!" I replied.
"Ah ha! Then you ARE scared then. Oh man, I'd never have believed it"!
Well they say that pride comes before a fall, and I'm a testament to that because I foolishly responded to his jibes by walking right around that corner to where she used to live, just like a rat seeking its own trap. Sure enough, I could see the house in the distance and it looked no different than it had ten years ago. It was like walking into a timepiece and I approached the gate, eager to get this over with.
As I did so I was nearly knocked sideways by two young girls running past me, and laughing wildly. They had obviously already made their visit.
"Hey watch it you creeps!" I called after them, as Geoff laughed loudly at the sight of me struggling to keep my balance.
I'd had enough of this. I decided to finish with ol' Ma Freeman and get back home and put this nonsense behind me. I walked up to her front door and, even in the dark, I could see that her house looked quite dilapidated, with paint peeling from the window frames and a tatty looking wooden door. I knocked loudly and stood back, waiting for my intended victim to emerge. Oh, if only I had just run away - I should have run as fast as my legs would carry me!
As I waited I heard footsteps slowly approaching, and then the turning of a handle until finally, the door started to creak open to reveal the old woman who looked almost exactly the same as when I had last seen her all those years ago. I was just about to go into my 'trick or treat' routine when she stared at me, looking me straight between the eyes, and I was left rooted to the spot as her eyes burned into me.
"You!" she bellowed pointing at me, "You how dare you once again defile my house. I have had enough of you and your kind, coming to my house and playing your evil games on an old lady".
A shiver ran down my spine as she stood bolt upright, and seeming to grow before my very eyes. Her eyes penetrated to the depths of my soul and I felt an icy grip centre around my chest, squeezing and squeezing my heart until I thought it would leap from my chest. I was unable to speak as she continued her tirade.
"Now begone from my house, and if the demons from the pit don't claim you first, I will see you here again next year, and I want to see a good little girl here before me, not what I see today"!
I felt spellbound as she spoke, unable to move or utter a word. I didn't dare move as she threw a candy towards me and slammed the door shut. The loud bang of the door finally broke my inertia and I almost fell in my haste to get away from her house. I got through the gate and started walking quickly away until Geoff pulled me back, as I tried to push past him.
"Hey man did you see that act. You've gotta hand it to her, she really puts on a show. Oh wow I wouldn't have missed that for the world"!
"Well I'm glad you've had your entertainment, and that you got your money's worth, but I've had enough!" I replied upset, as I pushed his hand away for me and set off in the direction of home with the sound of his laughter ringing in my ears.
Things didn't get any better for me that evening. The weather had suddenly started to close in, but I hadn't noticed it before, what with it being dark I guess. I arrived back home only to find that there had been a power failure and that the house was in darkness and freezing cold. This did nothing to ease my nerves and it took a good fifteen minutes of searching, with my breath misting in the cold air, before I found some emergency candles that just gave me enough light to find the basement and reset the fuses.
With the lighting back on, and the prospect of having some heat again, I poured myself a drink and decided to light a log fire to drive away the cold that had penetrated deep within my bones, while I waited for the heating system to kick in. After pouring out a stiff whiskey I sat down on the floor in front of the fire, whilst the amber liquid slid down my throat as I attempted to warm myself from within.
"Damn that old hag!" I cursed, as I trembled and took another mouthful of drink to ease my shattered nerves.
The curse had no sooner left my mouth as a large clap of thunder, accompanied by a howling wind, suddenly sprung outside.
If I hadn't been an adult then I might have thought that this was a response to my curse, and that I was being mocked, but of course that couldn't be the case and I decided to finish off my whiskey and go to bed. I would just try and put today down to a good idea gone wrong, and I poured myself another whiskey before going to bed, determined to sleep well and forget my misgivings.
"37..36..35..34.."
It was soon after that night that strange things started to happen, things that didn't make sense to me at the time but were now, I recognise, a pattern and a portent of things to come.
I had been jittery for the last two or three nights, and had tried to ignore it, but by the fourth night I was starting to forget those dreams of Ma Freeman's staring eyes. It was that fourth night though that another storm came and damn, wouldn't you just know it there was another power failure and I had to return to that old basement again, flipping the reset switch like last time. This wasn't like last time though as on the way down I kicked over some paint cleaner and it splashed around my feet and my lower legs. The next day I started to get a rash and by the time that night had come along it was itching like mad.
I slept an uneasy night and was grateful when daylight arrived again. I got out of bed, took some breakfast, shaved, and started to get dressed. I noticed that my feet had started to get sore and when I put my socks on they seemed to get worse. I decided that I'd just wear my trainers without anything else today, and would go barefoot within them. When I tried this though the friction damn nearly drove me mad and I knew that I couldn't take this for too long, and as I didn't know how long this would last, I had to think of something else instead!
I suddenly had a brain wave and went into my mother's bedroom and started searching her undie's drawer. Most of the things had been taken of course, but there were still a few old items scattered about, and right at the back I found a pair of old knee-high black nylons. As I pulled them out I saw that they were a little laddered and that was most probably why they were there and not in my mother's luggage. They would do the job for me though.
I took them back to my room and slid them onto my feet, taking care not to damage them any further. I pulled my trainers on, walked around for a bit and breathed a sigh of relief. They did the job just fine. I wore them for the rest of the day, appreciating how cool they made my feet feel as they seemed to slide around inside the trainers, and even purchased a spare pair from the local pharmacy, making an unnecessary explanation that I was picking them up for my mother. I was glad that my pants were long, and covered up my ankles so I wouldn't have any embarrassing moments.
Over the next two days things continued like this with the rash getting no worse, but no better either. The next day though, I noticed that it had worsened a little, and had started to climb up my leg. This time I went to the doctor's, removing my 'special' footwear before I went in, and she gave me some ointment and told me use it twice daily.
It proved to be a waste of time and after trying this for three days it was spreading further. I suppose that I should have gone back to the doctor then, but I had little faith in them so decided to try and decided I'd try and sort it out myself. The only area where it seemed to getting any better at all was around my feet so that gave me another idea. I went back into my parent's bedroom, and into my mother's drawer again but this time I drew a blank. I was looking for some hose but there was none there she must have either taken them with her, or cleaned them out. Either way it didn't help.
That was when my second moment of inspiration came. I went further along the hallway to where my sister's room had been, and opened her door for the first time since she had passed away. I wasn't too sure what I would find but as I stepped in it was as if nothing had ever changed. They had kept her room in exactly the same state as when she had passed away.
At first, I felt like one of the tomb robbers from ancient Egypt, or how Howard Carter must have felt when he uncovered the boy king's burial chamber, as I started looking through her drawers, but this soon passed as the bright sunshine warmed my spirits. I soon found what I was looking for however, and moments later I was taking my cherished prize back to my room, and pulling the full-length hose up my legs.
As before, I experienced an immediate sensation of relief and kept them on all day, wearing my only pair of shorts with them, to help to keep my skin cool. Within three days the rash had completely cleared, and I had washed and returned my sister and mother's things to where I had gotten them.
I went to bed happy that night, happy for the first time since Halloween, but this improved state of mind wasn't going to last long. That night I had another dream. I dreamt of ol' Ma Freeman' again, and as before I could see her eyes as they bore deep within me, causing my heart to palpitate wildly. This time though my recollection was much clearer than it had been in my other dreams, and I could clearly hear the echo of her last words ringing around my head.
"Now begone from my house, and if the demons from the pit don't claim you first, I will see you here again next year, and I want to see a good little girl here before me, not what I see today"!
I awoke in a cold sweat, not understanding any of this but feeling that somehow, it was significant and that it meant something. My thoughts soon moved on though, and I didn't dwell on my dream because as soon as I had gotten out of bed I saw that my rash had returned. I soon retrieved my sister's hose and resolved to wear them until I was cured again.
My rash never really did get much better but I found that if I continued to wear the hose then it didn't get any worse so I kind of just wore them all the time after that. This went on for another couple of weeks and I gradually became more unsociable, hardly venturing outside of the house anymore. Boredom was starting to take hold and I decided I would have another week at home before I returned back to college. I was getting tired from having disturbed nights and thought that returning to my old routine might take my mind off of things, and I would get back to normal.
A few days before I was due to leave, I managed to tear my shorts on a nail in the basement. Yep, another power failure had necessitated another trip down there and now I had nothing but long pants to wear. These soon started irritating me and I searched around my parent's room again, this time looking to see if my father had left anything I that I could borrow. There was nothing and even a desperate search through what was left of my mother's wardrobe yielded a blank.
I was starting to get desperate now and I walked around in nothing but the hose for a while until I found that this was just too cold, so I went into my sisters room again, and looked around to see if she had anything I could use at all. I soon discovered a couple of pairs of skimpy shorts but found that they were too tight and that I risked total emasculation if I tried wearing these for any length of time.
That was when I hit upon another idea, although I balked at seeing it through. I reasoned that if I wore one of her skirts then maybe that would give me some degree of protection from the elements, and I would just wear pants for when I ventured outside. Despite my reservations I decided to try it anyway and picked out a selection of her less fancy ones, but found that despite having more than enough room around the hips that I could just not do up the waist. Eventually though, I found one with an elasticised waistline and made do with that, finding it to be quite comfortable once I had pulled it into place.
I soon got used to wearing the skirt and after a time didn't even notice it anymore such was my degree of comfort. I buried myself in reading from my father's well stocked library, and forgot about most of my problems for a while. Luckily, my parents had left a well stocked freezer that catered for most of my essentials, and a few luxuries besides, so I didn't have to go out much for anything. Besides, it was too much trouble to keep changing out of the skirt and hose to go out when I really didn't need to.
"28..27..26..25.."
It carried on like this, with me wearing the skirt and hose, for another three days until one morning I woke up and it had almost disappeared. This time I decided to walk around with only my boxers on, enjoying the feeling of being in control of what I wore again, but also not wanting to tempt fate by wearing my pants.
I was so relieved. I felt that a big cloud had suddenly been blown away and the dour mood I had been in since I had been practically forced into skirts finally started to lift. I walked around the large house that morning, uncovering the full-length mirrors and looking at myself again for the first time in days. I had been avoiding the sight of this weird half-man, half-girl that had kept catching me by surprise, and had even given up shaving, so I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised when I looked in a mirror and saw my deep growth of stubble. I quite liked the look and decided to keep it, because in an odd way it helped me to feel that I was re-establishing my credentials as a man again.
For the rest of the day I enjoyed myself, acting like a slob, pigging out and just feeling whole again. I even called up Geoff, who I hadn't seen since Halloween, and we took ourselves off to a strip-joint as a sort of farewell session before I returned back to college, as planned. We spent a great night, enjoying the local talent as well as the cool beer and I had gone to bed that night, happy for the first time in ages.
That didn't last long though.
That night I had my most vivid dream yet and again, it was about ol' Ma Freeman, with those girls running past me again as I approached her house. It like watching a screenplay as I saw the girls running towards me and barging into me, this time though, there was a slight alteration to what I remembered. It was only for a fleeting moment but as one the girls pushed past she looked up at me. I could feel my heart stop as I saw her face. It was Stephanie!
Such was my confusion that I almost missed the rest of the scene, only taking notice when Ma Freeman bellowed out her warning to me, once again.
I woke up in a cold sweat and couldn't sleep after that, although I suppose I must have done, for my last conscious thought was of getting away from this town first thing in the morning. I wanted to put some distance between myself and this place, and then maybe I would feel better.
I awoke the next morning feeling a little discomfort from around the side of my stomach. I made some breakfast, trying to ignore it but as I held a cup of coffee up to my lips the pain worsened until, within a few minutes I was keeling over. I managed to call for help and about fifteen minutes later I was taken to hospital where I was diagnosed as having appendicitis.
I returned home two days later feeling very weak, and minus one appendix. They told me that I had been lucky. Another thirty minutes or so and I might have been dead. I was under strict instructions to rest for at least a week and told to come back for a check up in two weeks time. I had no choice but to return to my parent's house and wait there. It would be impossible for me to travel the three hundred miles back to college and, besides, I wasn't going to be in any fit state to return to my studies for a while so there seemed no point.
A temporary housekeeper was arranged to look after me, and it was with a heavy heart that I entered the doorway of the house again, starting to feel a little paranoid by now. It was almost like some higher or lower force was at play, and it was conspiring to keep me here. It was as if something didn't want to let me go.
The housekeeper was a middle-aged married mother with three young children, so her visits were brief and to the point. Cleaning the bedclothes, re-stocking any groceries and doing any odd housework was all she attended to, and her visits were never any longer than two hours. For this I was grateful, especially when what I thought had been just a series of bad luck continued.
The first night when I had returned home was okay. I was physically exhausted from my sudden operation and emotionally drained from my lack of sleep and my ever-increasing worries and I don't think that even an aircraft crashing on the house would have disturbed me.
The next night though was a different proposition. My rash had started to return during the afternoon and although it was only minor it made me pretty uncomfortable. This time though I was determined to make a stand, and I wasn't going to let it force me back into my sister's clothes. I manfully tried to ignore it, although by the time I went to bed early that evening, it was starting to increase in intensity. I found it difficult to sleep at first with the combination of itching and my inactivity during the day, but eventually settled into a welcome sleep, praying that my dreams would not disturb my welcome respite from pain.
My relief did not last long however, as I was soon awoken by a persistent, and loud noise coming from outside. At first it just disturbed me and I hovered between sleep and full consciousness, but I was finally forced to acknowledge it when I became aware of the itching again. I winced as I dragged myself out of bed, forgetting about my operation, and looked out of the window to see a party in full swing, just across the road from me. I felt desperate. I was on the verge of tears and I started crying from frustration such was my need for sleep, and if this kept up then I felt that I would surely suffer a breakdown!
I turned on the bedroom light and went out into the hallway, looking for somewhere else to go where the noise wouldn't be so apparent, but as soon as I did so I realised that the only room not facing the front was my sisters. I paused for a moment, feeling apprehensive at the thought of spending the night in her room but finally decided that I had no other option and entered, cautiously.
Although I had obviously been in my sister's room on numerous occasions, this time was different. It was the first time that I had been here at night and in my current frame of mind I was half-expecting demons to jump out of every corner at me.
I had a bad feeling about all of this, and felt like I was being led down a long path, on a journey where I didn't know where I was going. Trying to ignore my fears though, I climbed into the unused bed and felt the cool sheets against my skin. This immediately set my itching off again and despite all of my intentions not to do so, I knew that I have to cover my skin with something and clambered out of bed to look for some hose. This time though, as I turned on the light I saw that the rash was now spreading up along the side of my waist, and towards my arms. The hose would not be enough to provide relief.
I was on the verge of tears as I searched for something to help ease my pain, and I ransacked Stephanie's wardrobe until I finally found a long satin nightgown, which felt cool to the touch. I pulled it quickly over my head, hoping desperately that this would work, and almost immediately felt the cooling effect of the material before returning to bed and hoping sleep would claim me.
I did eventually sleep, but not before experiencing what had now become a recurring dream, with ol' Ma Freeman and my sister. Thankfully when I woke though, the rash had started to recede and I could see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, or so I thought.
The rest of the morning had passed without incident, with the housekeeper finishing her chores and departing in the early afternoon. I did have a case of the sniffles however, and I noticed that my lips were getting sore and chapped, and had even started to crack somewhat. I searched through the bathroom cabinets and bedrooms but could find no lip salve, so I braved putting on my clothes again, and visited the local pharmacy. The soreness was increasing and it seemed to be getting worse. I needed something to help me, for I was in agony.
I entered the shop and went over to the counter but as soon as I asked for some lip salve my feeling of foreboding returned to me. The assistant told me that they were out of stock at the moment, and that all they had that might help was the flavoured and coloured variety that girls sometimes use. I really had no choice but to get some so swallowing my pride, I purchased a small pot and left the shop as soon as possible, spreading some on my lips as soon as I got through the doors of my parent's house. I got instant relief again but this wasn't the only thing that was bothering me though, as already my skin was starting to itch again, after having gone out in my pants.
I was beginning to feel somewhat desperate by now and pulled off all of my clothes and looked at myself in a full-length mirror.
I looked a sight.
The rash was prominent above my waist once again, I was wearing what amounted to lipgloss and I sported a few days growth of stubble. I knew that I would not be able to wear the sweatshirts I had managed to retain up until now, as the rash was spreading. I would most probably now have to wear slips and possibly even a dress to keep out the cold. To make matters even worse even my neck and chin was starting to itch from the starting of my beard.
I had the sudden thought that if this carried on then I would never be able to wear men's clothes again, or at least the kind that I had always been used to!
It was that one thought, that one moment of insight that I had that suddenly drove away the clouds that had been fogging my mind since Halloween, and I started to understand what was happening to me for the first time ever since I had received ol' Ma Freeman's curse. Finally I realised what the journey was, that I was taking. I was taking the journey to becoming a girl everything that had happened since Halloween had made me that bit more feminized!
First there were the knee-highs that had gradually escalated into wearing hose. Then I had to start wearing skirts when I became too sensitive to the coarse material of my pants. Then the constant nightmares as I dreamt of Halloween night, which had almost seemed like a warning to me, immediately followed by near death from appendicitis. I had even been virtually forced to sleep in my sister's bed and, as well as that, she had also started to figure prominently in my dreams. It was like she was haunting me and was blaming me for what had happened to her. Maybe it was my fault; maybe it was really all my fault that she had died after all!
I think I had started to laugh a little as I thought of ol' Ma Freeman's words again and tried to make out what they had meant, but there was no joy in this laughter, rather it was a laugh of fear.
Ol' Ma Freeman's words warned that I was to return to her next Halloween, but it was to be as a good girl. I had thought it nonsense at the time and despite shaking me at first, I had thought she had just got her words twisted and had made a mistake. Now I knew what she had meant them, when she had warned me that I would be dragged into the pits of hell by demons unless I did as she had told me to do, and that had already nearly happened when I had my appendicitis.
But what she was telling me to do was to return to her as a girl, and a good girl at that! But this was madness surely how could that be? I couldn't just become a little girl and besides, I didn't want to - I liked being a man!
I started crying as I stared at myself, hovering on the edge of insanity. Where was this all going to end?
I picked up the pot of lipgloss and hurled it to the floor, cursing and shouting that I was going to put a stop to this. I was almost hysterical as I shouted and cursed to myself before finally dissolving, helplessly, into tears once again. I washed my face before dressing in my own clothes, refusing to put any of Stephanie's things back on in a state of denial.
I shook my head and stood up firm and straight in a sudden show of defiance. I was not going to be turned into a female - I was going to fight this!
I put on an old leather jacket and stormed down to the garage, where I still had a helmet and boots, before firing up my old motorbike. It started at the second attempt, and I roared off into the cold afternoon. This was the final throw of the dice as far as I was concerned, and was a last desperate attempt to convince myself that this was all in my own imagination. I turned out of the street and onto a single lane road, which twisted and turned in a seemingly random manner.
This activity proved to be a catharsis to me, and for the first time in days I started to feel in control again. I felt exhilarated as I twisted the throttle, and the corners seemed to throw themselves at me at a faster and faster rate and I had the sudden urge to just keep going, to get away from this town as fast as I could. I had a sudden certainty that if I put enough distance between myself then I would be able to escape the fate had seemed to be planned for me, so I pulled the throttle back some more.
I suppose it was inevitable. I never saw the truck until it was too late. I tried to swerve away from it and onto the other side of the road, but I was going too fast and lost control. My last memory was of me hurtling through the air, towards a tree.
"Mr Callistock, are you awake how are you feeling?" came a voice that I knew must have come from nearby, but seemed oddly distant.
My only reply was the opening of my eyes, but it seemed to be enough to encourage the white suited man who was peering over me to keep talking.
"Good, good. Now I've got to tell you that you've had a very bad accident and that you've been unconscious for a week now, but I'm glad to say that you'll soon be on the mend, but we have had to operate to remove a couple of things".
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, wanting to shut myself out of whatever was going to come next, for I feared the worst. Could it be possible that my fears had already been realised and that ol' Ma Freeman had already engineered what she had wanted from me?
"When you came off of your motorcycle you went straight into a roadside tree, with your abdomen suffering the worst of the damage. The force of the impact has crushed your lower ribs, compressing them so much that we have had to remove part of the shattered bone. What is left is much reduced as is likely to cause you some discomfort for a time".
Ah, so that was it. She was coming at it from the long way round!
"You also had a very heavy irritation around lower part of your body, that was starting to spread towards your chest. It looked like it had been there for some time but we have been able to treat it successfully and it is now gone completely" he continued.
Well at least that was some progress, but I knew it would return unless I took heed of the warning.
"You will be here for another few days and then we have made arrangements to have you returned home, with the appropriate help, until you recuperate. We haven't been able to trace your parents but your insurance will cover the cost of this".
Somehow I knew that I would now have a reduced waistline, and that I would be able to get into all of those skirts that I hadn't been able to before. I don't know what the doctor thought when I started giggling to myself but I didn't really care I just couldn't stop myself.
With that he went, and I sunk into a deep sleep, knowing that I had received my final warning. There was to be no escape for me. If I wanted to live then it would have to be as ol' Ma Freeman had decreed.
"17..16..15..14.."
And so that's how I came to be here, slipping into unconsciousness for the last time as a man, if you can still call me that. When I wake up it will be as Stephanie Callistock and all trace of my manhood will have been removed, and in it's place will be a cavity that will be able to receive what I no longer have.
It hadn't been hard to arrange this. I had virtually everything that I needed, including a large amount of money that my parents had given me, when I had left for college. Well, I wouldn't be needing it for that anymore, and my current need was greater, anyway!
It helps when you have a mother as a psychiatrist. You have access to all the headed notepaper, and to all the publications that had allowed me to plot my next course of action. I was able to go to another doctor with all the faked evidence I had needed to prove that I had been receiving treatment and living as a woman for over a year now. I was soon put on the schedule for SRS and given further treatment to accelerate my transition.
I also started on a course of cosmetic surgery that would enhance my now accepted femininity, and I had wanted to become a replica of Stephanie it seemed fitting somehow. First came the reduction of my chin, then the enhancement of my cheekbones. Collagen injections gave me fulsome lips, and the widening of my eyes a little, gave me the look of doey-eyed innocence so attractive in a young girl. I also had my nose re-shaped and it now looks cute as a button.
I received implants, which instantly gave me a modest sized pair of breasts that were already growing from the effects of the hormones. The electrolysis treatment was painful but worthwhile and I soon no longer had to shave. The operation on my throat removed my Adam's apple, and the slight shortening of my vocal chords gave me the pitch and timbre of a young girl.
All I had needed was the styling and shaping of my shoulder-length hair, into the pageboy look Stephanie had enjoyed, and I was nearly complete. Complete that is, apart from one small thing, and by now it was small indeed after the assault it had received from the wash of female hormones that coursed through me.
It had cost me everything I had, both materially and physically, but I was alive and still had a life ahead of me, even if it was that of my departed sister's. With her birth certificate, and other documentation I could pick up her life without question, although I would have to move away somewhere to where she wasn't known to do so.
I wondered what life would hold for me as a young girl.
"7..6..5..4.."
Epilogue
Stephanie stood in front of the mirror, examining her costume for this evening. It was certainly a lot different that what she had worn last year when she had still been a young man called Simon, but she tried not to think too much about that. There was really no point.
It had taken a while for her to get over the operation but she was coming to terms with it now, and was trying hard to make a new life for herself. Only last week she had gotten a job waitressing, in a nearby town, although it was a bit of a struggle to get by on what she earned. She didn't have much choice though she needed the money having spent what she had previously had on her transformation. It was lucky that she still had her parent's house to stay in, although she was beginning to wonder what they would think in a few weeks time, when they returned and found that they had a daughter again.
Still, it was fitting. If only Simon had been more careful and not let his sister into his car then the original Stephanie would still be here, even if he hadn't known what she had intended to do!
She twisted in front of the mirror, making sure that she looked like the good little girl that she had to be. Her cape and short dress swirled with her movement, and she only hoped that ol' Ma Freeman thought that the Little Red Riding Hood costume was good enough for her.
She picked up her basket and started on the short journey to the old lady's house. The cool October air chilled her bare legs but she hardly noticed it as she saw her old friend Geoff walking by, carrying a six pack.
A tear sprang unbidden to her eye, as she recalled how different this had all been just one short year ago. The wolf-whistle she received from her former friend didn't help either, but dressed as she was, it seemed somewhat appropriate.
She opened the gate and walked up the same path that she had done last year. Pausing for a moment, she composed herself and made herself give an innocent and pretty smile. She didn't want to blow it all after everything that she had been through.
She took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell, and waited.
Ma Freeman awoke from her catnap and pressed a button on her watch. A pleasant female voice heralded that it was 6:30pm and she moved her position slightly in an attempt to ease the stiffness that came to her so easy these days.
"Oh my is it that time already!" she exclaimed, as she placed her hands on the arms of her chair, and lifted herself into an awkward standing position.
She hobbled into the kitchen, glancing at the wall calendar and seeing that Halloween had come around again. She gave a gentle chuckle to herself, well aware that she had something of a reputation, locally. Nobody had ever said it, or claimed it direct to her, but for some reason they seemed to think she had witch-like powers. It was funny really, for she would never harm a fly.
With a smile and a sigh she accepted it was something that an old reclusive spinster had to expect, but she didn't mind. She was quite happy with her own company. She knew that today though, she could guarantee that she would get at least one visit though, someone brave enough to tilt at her own particular windmill.
She put a kettle onto the stove and turned the burner on. She didn't get so many visitors these days, only the occasional call from those two little girls, the Farmer twins from a couple of houses down, when they wanted to earn some money from performing some errand or other for her. Still, she didn't mind it too much. It was nice that somebody sometimes thought about her, even it was only from a mercenary point of view, and she knew that they were fond of her after a fashion.
She wondered whether they would pay her a visit tonight, and thought back to last year and laughed at the cheeky little minx's. She had known that it had been them the minute her doorbell had rung. She had tried not to smile as she had offered them a generous 'treat' when they had given her the traditional option, and felt warm inside as she had heard the happy giggling as they had examined their booty, as they had walked down her path.
When the doorbell had rung again a couple of minutes later, she had known somehow that it was one the girl's pushing their luck, and coming back for more. Even then she had another treat prepared and pretended not to recognize them.
The third time it had happened though, she had decided to teach them a lesson. However much they liked her it was wrong to take advantage so she had decided to scare them and teach them a lesson. She could remember everything she had said, as if she were speaking it now. She could have almost have seen the looks on their faces as she had gone into her speech about defining her house and of playing tricks on an old lady.
She had been almost proud of how she must have looked, staring at them and bellowing:
"Now begone from my house, and if the demons from the pit don't claim you before next year I will see you here again, and I want to see a good little girl here before me, not what I see today"!
Heavens, she had almost scared herself! It was just as well that they hadn't seen her affectionate laughter as she had closed the door, for that would have spoiled the illusion.
She heard the doorbell ring and prepared herself for her role again. She would be more benevolent this year maybe she had gone just a little bit over the top last time.
Still, she didn't feel too guilty. They shouldn't have tried to trick her like that when they knew that she had been totally blind for the last four years, since that failed operation on her cataracts.
The End