Ok, so, here's the deal, see. I am the copyright holder of this story. It may not be posted anywhere without my conscent, nor is it allowed to use it on a paysite.
This is my first story involving boy-boy love, so it might not be the greatest of all, but hey, I'm only 16! Anyway, this story will not contain any sex, whatsoever. There might be scenes implying on that the characters do have sex, but if that is the case, the scene will not be graphically described.
This episode's quote is:
Taken from: E.R. Carrie: "I've been fighting for acceptance my entire life and now you're asking me to do it all over again?" Kim: "I'm not asking you for anything."
"Another morning, Another day, another chance, Another song, another tune, Another dance,"
P.W.
UNDER PHILIP'S SKIN
- Love. I say quietly. I'm standing at the cliff again. This time, I'm only dreaming, thank God. Why do I keep experiencing this dream, over and over again? Am I turning into Sydney Hanson in Providence, the woman who always dreams about her mother, who keeps giving her bad advices and eerily enough always seems to know what's going to happen in the near future? - What? My image wonders. - Why does it have to be so hard? I wonder as I gaze down the bottomless pit. Since Brian broke my glasses, I've been forced to wear lenses, but since I've been in the hospital for several days, I haven't gotten a chance to put for them on again. They took them off when I was rushed off to the hospital. And strangely, even in my dreams I've got a bad eyesight without any glasses or lenses. So, in short, I can't focus on what's down there. All that I can make out is a blur och blue. - So, what's do there? I wonder. - Don't ask me. The image chuckles. - As I've said countless times. Don't ask me...! - ...questions that I don't know the answers of yourself. I finish his sentence.
NOT A PERFECT SUMMER Chapter 04 - Love And The City
THE MIND OF RIPLEY
I can't believe it! How could he?! And for the second time!!! - So, I told him, that if he hurt Philip again, they'd be scraping off his green blood off of his dorm room wall. Julia finishes her "tale". - So why aren't they? I wonder. - Well, mainly because we'd risk ten to life if we were to be caught. She says and shrugs her shoulders. - Yeah, that part. I say. - But still, I think that it'd be worth it.
THE MIND OF PHILIP
- So, are you sure of that it were these boys who did it? The detective questions me. So, here I am, sitting at a cafe, sipping on a cafe latte, while being questioned by a detective. - Yes. I say calmly. - Those were the guys who assaulted me. - Then we're all done, I guess. He says. - The other fourty-nine witnesses have all left their testimonies and they confirm that it were those guys who assaulted you. I just needed your testimony before pressing charges. - Good. I say while looking at the bubbles that are building up in my cup of coffee. - But what I can't understand is why you're not pressing charges on that Brian boy. The detective mumbles and takes another bite out of his bagel. - Because... he is... was my friend. I mumble. - I see. He says. - I've seen this happen one too many times. But what are you going to do if he does something like this again? - I'll nail him! I cry. - Good. The detective says. - Don't let those puppy dog eyes get to you. If he ever hurts you like this again, you've got to break it off. - Thanks for the support. I say hoarsely. - Hey, I'm been through the same thing. He says. - You mean that you're...? I wonder. - Yes, I'm gay, too. He says and gives me a wide smile. That's when I notice how young he is, this detective Wilder. What is he? Nineteen? And he's so handsome... chestnut hair and hazel blue eyes. And tall and lanky. - Here's my number. He then says and slips me a note with a telephone number, apparentely his, written with a blue ink pen on. - Call me if you remember something new, related to this case, or just want to talk or maybe something else...! He says and winks at me. - Are you coming onto me, officer? I ask and wink back. - Maybe. He chuckles. - Well, one, you'd be rocking the craddle. I say and he he chuckles and take another bite off his bagel. - And two, I've already got a boyfriend. - But if it ever bursts...! He says hopefully. - I'll give you a call. I say and give him a sly grin. - I've always loved men in uniforms. - He! He! He! He! He! He chuckles. I can't believe it! Here I am, sitting at a coffee shop, flirting with a probably-twenty-something cop. Man, it feels good! But, I've already got a boyfriend, and if this was The Sims, he'd come over here and slap Wilder twice. - Well, gotta run. He says and gets run. - My lunch break will be over in five minutes. - You took time off your lunch break to see me? I wonder and suddenly feel flattered. - Yeah, I saw your photo lying in the desk of our department. He says and winks at me while adjusting his cap. Oh... pride... blush... pride again. Oh no... I feel it rising... the hard, long little vibrating bad boy of mine... in my pants... my cell phone! - Hello? I answer it. - Oh hi, Ripley. I'm just flirting with this officer here. And that sets Ripley off, yelling and cursing. - No! No! No! No! No! I'm just kidding I hurriedly add and he calms down. - See ya'. Wilder says and starts walking away. - By the way, my name's Devon. - You already know mine! I shout after him and he chuckles.
THE MIND OF RIPLEY
- Oh my God! I exclaim. - I had no idea of that we were multiplying so quickly! So... Philip just told me about the gay officer... wait, let me rephrase that, the cute gay officer. Anyway... apparentely, he was a total hunk and gay too!!! So, if Philip and I were to ever break up, we'd wrestle our way all the way down to the school phone to call "911". - I can see that you're already planning to dump me in favor for the cute gay cop. Philip says and pouts at me. - Naah. I say. - You're too much fun to dump. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. He mutters and shoves me. Then comes silence as he continue to walk through Maple Park. The sun setting behind a couple of scyscrapers, the stars coming out, the cars passing by. But between the two of us, nothing but silence. - So... are you going to speak to him tonight? I ask him after about ten minutes of complete silence, finally breaking the silence. - Yeah. He says quietly. - I can't put it off anymore. I've slept over at your place ever since "the thing" and it's time to face my demons. - Want me there with you? I ask, concerned that Brian might hit him again. - Yeah. He sighs. - Please be there, by my side. I'll feel stronger and more confident and definately safer.
NOT A PERFECT SUMMER Chapter 04 - Popular(ity)
THE MIND OF PHILIP
So, this is it. I put my hand on the doorknob and turn it. It goes click and the door swings open. I walk into mine and Brian's dorm room, followed by Ripley, and there he is, standing there, dressed in a yellow short- sleeved shirt and a pair of black shorts, surprised that it's me. - H... hi. He stammers. - Hi. I say. - Why are you here? He asks. - I want the truth. I say. - Why did you do it? C'mon, embellish, bubby. - I... I don't know. He says and his gaze drops to the floor. - Oh this is just great! Philip growls. - Do you see this limp? He demonstrates by walking a couple of paces, limping with his left leg at each step. - The doctors told me that it'll last throughout the entire summer. Philip continues, totally enraged. - And here you are, telling me that you don't know why you participated in the overall beating that caused this! What, are you, an idiot?! What, if I press charges, will you say "I don't know"?! Maybe "It was peer pressure" or...! Brian was sobbing by now and a small puddle of tears had started to form below where his eyes were. I could see it, but I went on and on. I didn't care anymore. So why not let him suffer! He made me feel this bad! Not only physically, but also emotionally. I loved him! I still love him! First loves are forever and true love never fades! Yet, I hate him, passionately, for what he did to me! - Tell me why you did it!!!! I shriek in anger and almost lose my balance. Ripley grabs me and helps me regain my balance. - I... I don't know...! He says again and looked up with tears streaming down his face like a river merging with another. - You're pathetic! I say with disgust clearly ringing in my voice. - Let's go! I then say to Ripley and we turn to leave. - Please...! Brian begs. - Please don't...! Don't go...! Let me apologize. - I've let you apologize one too many times. I say quietly, almost in a murmur. - And you keep on giving me an opportunity to let you apologize to me. So, unless you can come up with a brilliant reason as to why you did it, I'll leave now and never come back. - I...! Brian sobs. - Yes? I ask. - I can't come up with anything...! He sobs. - Then I'll be back later today to get my stuff. I'll move into Ripley's single dorm room. At least it'll be better than living here with you. With friends like you, who needs enemies? - Please... don't...! He says again. - Just shut up, will you! I yell at him and he whimpers twice between sobs. - Don't make this any harder than it already is! I'm leaving and you've only got yourself to blame! I don't get you! I loved you once and first loves are forever. And so is true love. However, I can still hate you! And I do! I hate you!!!! Each time I say the word hate, his body twitches and he whimpers. - Philip...! Ripley begs me. - No...! I cry and start sobbing, too. - This is the time for the truth to bare its ugly head! It is also the time for amends! However, I haven't seen anything yet that has the slightest resemblance to amends! Tears were streaming down my face now, too. I hate this feeling, this empty feeling that I get when I cry. This state when I've got to work in order to breathe between sobs. I hate it! - Reaching out is hard! I sob. - And though letting go is hard, it's easier than reaching out. That's what I'm doing now, letting go. - No... please! Brian begs. I hear sad music coming from somewhere outside of the room. It's the instrumental song called "Migawai No Shinyu", a song from the Anime series called "Neon Genesis Evangelion". More tears... - Let's go. Ripley says and steers me out of the room.
THE MIND OF BRIAN
... Tears... ... Tears... ... ... ...
THE MIND OF RIPLEY
I can't believe Philip just did that. It takes a lot of guts to do something like that, to spill his heart. If I were him, I would've pressed charges. That Brian deserves a couple of days in jail to see what that happens in the real world, a world where a guy is on his own and doesn't have his buds to defend him. All of those tough guys are all the same. When they're together with their "homeboys", they're all cocky, but when they're alone, they piss themselves if they get scared. - I feel so awful. Philip sobs. We're sitting on my bed, his head against my shoulder. He's soaking up my shirt with his tears, but I don't care. I love this guy and this is the least that I can do for him. - There, there. I say and kiss his blue hair. - Everything will be alright. Alright, so it was a bit clichee. But what was I going to do? Swing my wand and make everything better?
THE MIND OF PHILIP
I wake up in the morning, feeling dazed and disoriented. I look around and it all comes back to me. Wait... all coming back to me... Celine Dion... That's The Way It Is. "I can read your mind...". Wait... where was I again? Oh, right, in Ripley's rooms, in Ripley's arms, naked! Oh, last night! It was wonderful. - Ummm...! I sigh as I hug him closer. He hugs me back and kisses me on the lips. - Morning sleepy-head. He says. - How long have you been awake? I ask him. - Half an hour. He says. - And you just laid here with me, watching me sleep? I ask. - I feel flattered... and strangely grossed out. - Well, I couldn't wake you up, could I? I chuckle. - And I didn't want to make that angelic look that you get when you're sleeping to be replaced by the bitter look that you get when you're awake. - So, you're calling me a bitter boy-bitch? I question him. - Well, boy-bitch would be going too far, but pretty much. He chuckles and I slap him with a pillow, lightly, of course. - So, what did Julia say when you told her that I wouldn't be pressing charges against "him"? I ask Ripley while stroking his erect niples. - She said something about killing someone and then it all went incoherent. Ripley chuckles and started playing with my "bad boy" below the sheets. - Is that your cell phone or are you just happy to see me? He asks and gives me a bashful smile. - Actually...! I say and bring his hand out of the covers and voila, he's holding my cell phone! - It's my cell phone. - Oh. He says and then we both burst out laughing. We then embrace and share a sweet kiss. I love these moments. This is what that makes life worth living.
THE MIND OF RIPLEY
A letter... from the hospital. What could it be? I open it and take note inside of it out. "We did a full exam of you last week, yaddi, yaddi, yadda. And so we, yaddi, yaddi, yaddi." And then, I see the text spelled out in bold letters and my eyes widen. - What is it? Philip, who's sitting on the bed, putting his clothes back on, asks. - Here. I say and hand him the paper. - Oh my God! He gasps.
THE MIND OF PHILIP
- Here. He says and hands me the letter that he just opened. I read it. It says that they want him to go back for a cancer exam. - Oh my God! I gasp. - I'm sure of that it's nothing. He says, trying to lighten things up. - Nothing?! I exclaim. - Ripley, this isn't nothing! You could die! - I know. He says quietly. I read the entire letter over again and then read it for a third time. - It says that they suspect a tumour in your brain. I note. - You're supposed to come down there today for the test. Do you want me to go with you? - No, I wouldn't be able to stand that. He says.
So, here I am, waiting for the test results with Julia. Ripley's in there right now, getting his head examined. It's still... and it's oh so quiet... ouh... Bjork... Dancer In The Dark... Oscar... Julia Roberts... My Best Friend's Wedding... gay guy! Complete silence between Julia and me and not a single person walks by. I can swear that I just saw some tumbleweed blow by. - So... why didn't you press charges? Julia wondered. - Because first loves are forever. I say quietly. - And so is true love. - Well, I guess that I wouldn't know anything about that. Julia chuckles. - Someday you will. I encourage her. - And I truly hope that you won't have to go through all of the heartbreak that I've gone through to get it. - Well, in the end, are men really worth all of this? She asks. We both look at each other and then nod twice. - God yes. We both sigh in unison.
THE MIND OF BRIAN
I hate myself. Why did I do that? Was it the peer pressure? Was it foolishness? Was it cowardice? Was it because I wanted to be a "jock", one of the "cool guys"? But the price that I had to pay... - Stupid, stupid, stupid...! I repeat over and over as I bang my head against the desk in mine and Philip's dorm room. Popularity... is it really worth it? To screw over everyone who's not "cool", or as the adults call it, "politically correct"? To be an asshole because people expect you to be one? And I did all of that crap... "Please, don't...". That's what I said when Philip yelled at me. I started crying them. The tears first came because I pulled a couple of stitches after the bullet that I took for Philip, but then they just went on and on and on. I cried, something that I hadn't done since I was a little child... And so, I did it. I kicked him... I assaulted him... why? I couldn't even answer when he asked me that question. "Pathetic"! The word still rings in my ear, as clear as mineral water. Indeed, I am pathetic. I hate myself. Then how can I love others?
"One who truly hates oneself cannot love. He cannot place his trust in others."
Rei Ayanami - Neon Genesis Evangelion (Anime series)
THE MIND OF RIPLEY
So this is how it feels like, anticipation, anxiety and nervousity combined into one; Riplicity. So... will the test be positive or negative? Why does it have to take so long?! It's been, like, over ten hours already.
THE MIND OF PHILIP
As I munch on my lunch, all I can think about is Ripley, waiting at the hospital. So when I've finished my meal at McDonald's, I decide to head back to the hospital to give him my support. I mean, he stood, or rather sat, by his man, me (!!!), for five hours. So why can't I? As I walk down the street, I spot Brian. My impulses tell me to wave to him, but then my brain takes over. - Hate him! It says. - Give him a cold icy stare! He looks so sad like that. And I give him that icy stare and his face drops even more. - Well, you deserve it! I think in the back of my head and it seems as if he hears it since his face drops even more. I feel a short jabbing feeling, my conscience, but then it all blows over. He made me suffer, so now, I'm returning the favor.
So... I'm here, at the hospital. I look around and spot Ripley. I wave and call out to him, but he doesn't answer. - That's odd. I say for myself and walk up to him. - Hi. I greet him. He looks up at me with this really sad look in his eyes. - Philip, I have cancer. He then says.
I'll Be There For You - Remake by Philip Wester The original song was sung by The Rembrandts
"Yes, no one told me life was gonna be this way, My job's nonexistent, I'm broke, My love life's not worth a dime,"
"It's like I'm always trapped in second gear, When I've had a bad day, a bad week, A bad month, and even a bad year, yet"
"I'll be there for you, When the rain comes falling down, I'll be there for you, When you're feeling down, I'll be there for you, And you'll be there for me too,"
"I'm still asleep at ten, And school began at eight, The breakfast's burnt so far, Everything's going great,"
"Nobody told me there'd be times like these, I feel like I just could shout, could cry, could scream, could shriek, yet"
"I'll be there for you, When the rain comes falling down, I'll be there for you, When you're feeling down, I'll be there for you, And you'll be there for me too,"
"D'you think you know me, D'you think you can see me, Do you really know what it's like, To be me,
Someone to share the day with, Leave everything to be with, Someone to face the morning with, Even at my very worst, I'm the best with you,"
"It's like I'm always trapped in second gear, When I've had a bad day, a bad week, A bad month, and even a bad year, yet"
"I'll be there for you, When the rain comes falling down, I'll be there for you, When you're feeling down, I'll be there for you, And you'll be there for me too,"
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