Not a Perfect Love

Gimme a Not Gimme an A Gimme a Perfect Gimme a... hey! Where'd everyone go?!

Wah, wah, wah, you know the deal. I hold the copyright to this story. Please do not re-post it without my conscent. All pay-sites, keep out! Dismiss Bush, take over USA and nuke Saddam Hussein! Scam on Bill Gates' son and get all of his money, all of the below is fictional... wah, wah, wah.

So... wah! wah! wah!

Here are the few simple rules that Not A Perfect ******** lives by:

• NO GRAPHIC SEX! * Boy-boy love * Ass/arse-kicking of whoever has a problem with that (the gay thingee) * All readers should email the author or he'll go into another neurotic fit and never write again. * Each episode/chapter will have two titles and contain a part of the onslaughting poem "Not A Perfect Love" + a quote from a famous TV-series/ movie. Sometimes, the second title will be a continuation/finishing line of the first one.

Anyone seen the actor who plays Henry on Queer As Folk lately? You have?! Tell me where so that I can hunt him down and make him my boyfriend!!!!!!!!

This episode's quote is:

Taken from: The Nanny Named Fran

Fran: You have much to learn, young Jedi. Fran: Life is like a box of chocolate. Fran: Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.

NOT A PERFECT LOVE

And life goes on, The same, yet once more, a day, a week, a month, a year,

The same thing, once again, The same enemies and friends, All the same, all the time,

P.W.

THROUGH ANGEL'S DICK... I MEAN EYES

I bounce up the steps and arrive at Philip's door. - This better be good. I yawn as I turn the knob to his dorm room and enter. Now, that's us, the Party. We trust each other completely, so we can just enter each other's rooms just like that. If no visitors are wanted, then we lock our rooms. But this time, it's open, so I enter and find Philip and Brian standing by Brian's bed, having a conversation. - Hey, Philip. Brian says. - What's up. - Brian, look. Philip says and points out the window. - Aren't they beautiful. I look, but I don't see anything. - Ah, yeah, they're nice. Brian says nervously. - A little dressy, maybe for school. - Brian. Philip says. - Philip? Brian asks. - I really like you. Philip says. - I hope you know that you mean a lot to me. And if things were different. - Different than what? Brian wonders. - I want you to promise me that we can always be friends. Philip says and take Brian's hand into his own. - And I'd really like you to be there on the day. And, he lets go of the hand. - The day when...? Brian fishes. - The wedding. Philip says. - The wedding... what wedding? Brian wonders. - My wedding! Philip says all upbeat. - I'm getting married, can you believe it?!

NOT A PERFECT SUMMER Chapter 10 - Living It Large

• I'm getting married, can you believe it?! Philip exclaims. - I don't think "no" is a strong enough word. Brian says, bewildered. - I know it's crazy. Philip says. - I mean, we fought for all these years and then...! Sometimes you just look at someone and you know, you know? - No. Brian says. - I think maybe we fought was because we couldn't admit how we really felt about each other. Philip says, all dreamingly. - Can we start again? Brian asks. - You'll reall like him. Philip says. - Well, nobody really likes him. - I just need to clear a few things up. Brian says. - I don't really like him. Philip says, ignoring Brian. - But, I love him, I do. - Who? Brian asks. - What? Philip wonders. - His name? Brian fishes. - Who? Philip asks. - The groom. Brian says. - Spike! Philip says loudly. - You're marrying someone called Spike?! I exclaim and they both turn towards me. - Huh, oh, Angel, I didn't see you! Philip exclaims. - We were just rehearsing for the Buffy The Vampire Slayer play that me and my Buffy-Angel-fanclub are playing out an episode from season 4 this weekend, just for the fun of it. - You're weird. I groan. - Well, you're weirder. Philip says. - But, you're the weirdest! I retort. - Well, you...! Philip says and then stops in realization. - Oh... you... you... you... you... you...! - Ehe? I ask. - You...! Oouh!!! Philip groans and then puts on a happy face. - Anyway, let's go! - Oh! Brian groans. - I agree with Angel. You are weird. And Philip lifts his hand and smacks Brian upside the head. - Hey! Brian exclaims. - Why did you smack me but not Angel? - Because Angel's got a cuter ass. Philip says a-matter-of-factly and I can feel my cheeks catching fire. - And what's that got to do with anything? Brian wonders. - Well. Philip says and puts his hand on my ass and squezes. - I'd rather smack his ass, than his face! - Watch it. Brian says. - It's me, your friendship-bracelet wearing boyfriend, remember? - Yah, yah. Philip chuckles and squeezes my ass again, fully visible for Brian. - See ya later! With that, he grabs me by my ass and drags me out the door.

THROUGH PHILIP'S HORNINESS... I MEAN HORMONES... I MEAN EYES!

Thank God that Angel hadn't pulled away or anything when we were having that really comical "scene". Wow, we've come pretty far. Angel's letting me squeeze his ass. And I just can't help but feel a little tingly feeling doing it. Wait... regaining focus... Brian, boyfriend, incredible sex... Angel, ass-to-die-for... hand reaching out to squeeze Angel's ass again. Uh-oh, uh-oh! Warning! Warning! Danger will happen Will Robinson! - Hey, you're getting that weird abscent-looking look on your face, again. Angel interrupts the eternal mystery that is my brain and it's thoughts. - Oh, just thinking about a certain red-headed rascal of a high school student's ass. I chuckle. - Alright, so you can squeeze my ass for fun... or maybe for pleasure, in your ass, but if I feel any lips coming near mine, I'll punch you! Angel warns me. - I swear, no lip-to-lip. I pledge with a hand on my chest. - How about a little lip-to...! - Philip! Angel cries and blushes. - ...hand? I finish. - What did you think that I was talking about, you pervert?! And there he goes, his facing gaining the same color as his hair... or rather the shade of red that my hair currently has. Oh well. Let's not split hair. - You know what? Angel asks and pats me on my back roughly. - I'm just so mad, I mean glad, that we're friends. - Well, I'm just so happy that we share asses, I mean classes together. I retort. - Well, Victoria can keep her secrets, so you better keep yours. He retorts. My God! We're having a war of remakes of famous and infamous remarks taken from zit-coms and other TV-series! - Anywho...! I say, trying to change the subject. - I went past this seafood restaurant last week. How about we go there? - Sure. Angels says. - They serve an incredible ass...! I start and then realize the slip that I just made. - I mean bass! I was an honest mistake! I swear. - Sure, sure. Angels sats and pats me twice on my back and then smacks me on my ass. - Now, do you want me to do that to you again? He then asks and innocent and sweet. - Oh, no, darling. I say and put on a british accent. - Let's go off into the sunset together. Follow the yellow brick road! And I point at the brick pavement, which was actually red, in front of us. We look at each other, nod, join hands and then start to skip down the street. People stare at us, but we just smile and continue skipping. - You know, at five, this would've been cute, but at seventeen, it just looks weird. I point out while skipping. - Yeah, well, then again, we're no normal seventeen yearsolds, either. Angel counter-points out. - Well, I guess. I chuckle. Then I stop and force him to stop too. - Now, I know that I'm gay, but how are you weird? I inquire him. - Well, I have this really, really dark secret that no one knows about. A secret, eh? Curiousity killed the cat, but I'm no cat, so I open up my ears and lean in as he starts whispering. - Lately, I've fantasized about horses while jacking off. He whispers into my ear and I jump. Confusion... disgust... blackmail-plotting... more blackmail-plotting... yet more blackmail-plotting... mind clearing up... now wait a minute! What's that devious grin on his face. - You're pulling my leg again! I accuse and point at him. - Me? He asks all sweet and innocently and put on those puppy eyes that always gets him out of trouble. - Oh, come on! I groan and start dragging him down the street, towards that seafood place. - Just because of that, you're paying for my food too. And I'm feeling mighty hungry! - Oh no, please God! Angel begs. - Not your check! Please! You eat like a horse! Please! I'll do anything!!! Blackmail-plotting... more blackmail-plotting... - Alright. I say and stop and then put on an Italian accent. - You know, what, Angel? I might need a favor from you one day. When that day comes, I'll give you a call. Until then, consider this a favor. - Have you ever even seen the Godfather? Angel groans. - Nope. I say and smile. - But I once saw a parody of that scene in "Caroline In the City". - My God. Angel groans. - Now, let's go! I cry.

NOT A PERFECT SUMMER Chapter 10 - Friends

I breathe heavily as we stop. I can't believe he won over me in sprinting down the street. - Angel! I exclaim. - What? Angel asks and shrugs all innocently while grinning. - So, your ass got licked. Well... not literally and... stop looking at me as if you're gonna rape me at any moment! - Grrrr...! I growl. - Don't make me get the get ugly! Angel warns me. - Well, you were the one who said the words "my", "ass" and "licked" in the same sentence! I point out. - You've got a point. Angel says and takes a moment to ponder the situation. - So, what is the ruling? I ask him after a moment. - You owe me a McDonald's meal. He says and winks at me. - What kind of a lame ruling is that?! I exclaim. - Okay, okay, geez. Angel chuckles. - Oh, you, smart-assed devil, you! I groan and smack him on the ass. A little squeeze... prodding... no penetration, of course... a squeal of delight(?!)/discomfort from the sexy redhead... Angel, that is... a smack in my face and I let go. But a huge content smile has appeared on my face. - Oh, you pervert! Angel groans and gives me another smack on the head. - Oh, admit it, you liked it! I prod. - Grrrr...! He growls, imitating me earlier.

• So, we're going dutch, right? Angel asks as he munches on his bananapie. - Stop talking as if we're out on a date. I groan. - I once had one of those non-dates once. We were on our way back from Polen, me and a gang form my school and I had dinner with a guy in the train restaurant, all romantic candle-light, like and all. We talked about school, Polen and all while we ate porkchops and then I paid for the whole thing. Silence. - When you think about it, it wasn't much of a date for me! I exclaim. - Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Angel laughs and then swallow the remains of his pie in one single huge bite. - I fear you. I groan. - Whatever. Angel chuckles. - So, how are things going with you and Brian? Still trouble in Paradise? - Naw. I chuckle. - Things are pretty cool now. I can't believe that it's only a week 'til Brian's birthday, though, and from there on, only a week before the start of our sophomore year! - Wow, me, Angel - the sophomore! Angel marvels. - I can't believe I've actually come this far. - Yeah. I grin. - We all made a bet about when you'd get kicked out for your pranks. I've still got a shot for a twenty if you get kicked out within the next three weeks. - Oh, shut up. He chuckles, knowing very well that it's a joke, and shoves me playfully on the shoulder. - Well, first of all, ow. I say. - Second, don't do that. And third, ow! - Oh, you little wuzz. Angel groans. - Hey, I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it! I proclaim. - What does that ever have anything to do with this? Angel asks, empathizing the "that". - Well, wuzzieness comes with being queer. I say and wag an index-finger in the air, a-matter-of-factly while shaking my hips. - That and a cool singing voice, a small body and all... unless you're fat or can't sing or a body builder...! - I fear you. Angel imitates me again. - Stop stealing my BuffyTVS-knock-off-lines! I yell and he burst out laughing. - You just kill me sometimes. He chuckles. He looks back at me and I glare daggers at him. - Er... not literally, of course. He quickly adds. - Oh, you're gonna pay for this! I cry. - What are you thinking of doing? Angel asks, getting all nervous and all, as I start approaching him. And then, I lunge at him, grabbing him by the waist and holding him down, face-down. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not that again! Angel begs. And I do it! I reach out, get ready and squeeze that cute ass of his!!!!!!! FANFARE!!!!! Ass-a-squeezing!!! Red-heads-a-wailing!!!! - There. I say and put him down. - Now, who's the wuzz. - Still you. He says while grinning and rubbing his butt through those baggy jeans of his. Baggy jeans, oy. I hate those. They hide the family jewels so well! - Don't make me get back there! I warn him and that grin fades away instantly. Silence... tumble-weed blowing by... was that some locas? Of, gotta focus. Oh, coconuts! No... those are just the Johnson sisters orbing past us. Oh, that reminds me. We're in a public place. Uh-oh! I look around and notice how people are staring and chuckling and giggling at us. - So, how have you been? Angel asks, while blushing, evidently also having realized that we're in a cafe.

• That was priceless! I laugh as Angel and me walk down the dorm halls. - I mean, the look on that old lady's face! - And the look on my face. Angel chuckles. - And the feel of those...! I start and Angel glares dirtily at me. - ...buns. Blueberry-buns, y'know, the ones that I had. - Stop teasing me, Philip! Angel chuckles. - I don't have anything against your gay-thing, but if you keep these sexual innuendoes coming, you might just go too far some day and lost some terribly sweet ass to look at. - Is that I threat?! I exclaim in mock surprise. - Are you threatening me? - Oh yeah. He grins. - Oh well. I say.

THROUGH THE EYES OF ANGEL

Well, although this has been one of my most embarrassing days ever, it was a riot. But if he's gonna pinch my ass, at least he could be a little gentler! - Oh, I've gotta run. Philip says. - Brian and I are supposed to go out tonight, so I've gotta go and... well, whatever the gay equivalent to powdering one's nose is. With that said, he sets off. - It's the same thing! I shout after him. - Screw...! Is the only response I hear as he rounds the corner. Oh well. With my mastermind and brilliant ability to deduce, I'm pretty sure of that there was a "you" coming after that "screw". - You'd wish!!! I shout loudily after him and I can swear that I hear some really funny growling noises. The noises that guy can make! Oh well! Places to go! People to play pranks on... which reminds me. Wonder how Derek is doing with his new boy-toy. Maybe I should just drop by and invite myself in.

• Oh, hi, Angel. Derek greets me after opening the door to his and Robin's dorm room. - So, how have you been? I ask him as I clamp into the room. Oh my God, Robin's standing there, naked! I look at him, then back at Derek and then back at Robin. Their faces are both as red as tomatoes and a brief silence follows to the beat of "I Am What I Am" coming from their stereo. - Well, you are what you are, but would you mind covering that up? I finally break the silence and Robin quickly grabs a towel and covers himself up. He then skips nervously over to his closet and gets in. - Come out of the closet, Robin! I chuckle. He emerges, fully dressed and still blushing. - So, why are you here? Derek asks. - I just thought that I'd come by and intrude and evidently, I succeeded beyond expectation. I chuckle. The next thing I know, I'm being shoved out the door and then get the door slammed and locked in my face. - Hey! I protest. - And stay out! Robin growls. - At least for the next 40 minutes so that Derek and I can... you know. - Ewww!!! I exclaim and hurry out of there.

I'M BLONDE, NATURALLY BLONDE... JULIA...

• Hey! I exclaim. - Sorry. The guy who just accidentaly threw a football on my head apologizes. - I didn't see you over there. - Oh, exactly what every girl wants to hear. I groan, more to myself than to him. - How you're not "see-worthy" in the eyes of a hunky young blonde stud. - You think that I'm a hunky young blonde stud? The guy exclaims. Well, look at him! No, wait, don't look at him. Must look at him! His chiseled body, contrasting that blonde scalp of his, along with his sparkling blue eyes, complemented by his muscled frame. But I can't tell him that! - Of course not! I quickly say. - I just thought that you might need some compliments! - Oh. The guy says. Was that disappointment or hurt pride in his voice? Oh, well. - So, I'm free for tonight. He suddenly says, catching me off-guard. Exactly where is this leading to? Why am I asking myself this, as if I can predict the future? - So? I ask. - Well, I thought I might take you to the movies for throwing that ball at you. He suggests and I almost faint. Stay cool. Whatever you do, do not let him know that you're really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really interested! - Uh, sure, cool. I say, all nonchalantely and all, all the while jumping all around inside. - Cool, then. He says and turns to leave. - Pick you up at eight at the fountain on campus! With that said, he's gone. Wait... must digest. What just happened? Let's rewind. Me, walking down campus, planning yet another friday night alone... ball incoming... ball on my head... ouch... blonde stud coming over... me subtly drooling over him... some crap about apologizing... him asking me out... me actually agreeing... oh my God!!! This is terrible!!! I've got a run in my stockings! Wait... re-focusing... blonde stud asking me out... me agreeing... oh my God! Gotta call Philip!!!! - Ouh, he's gonna be sooo jealous!!! I gloat as I rush back to my dorm room.

THROUGH REDHEAD ANGEL'S EYES

Wait a minute! Isn't that Julia and the varsity quarterback Dimitri, also known as the russian exchange student?! I hide in the bushes and 'til Julia runs out of there, skipping rather, towards me. So, I step up in front of her to confront her. - So what were you and hunk here doing, eh? I question her as I look past her shoulder, seeing Dimitri leave. - Oh, he asked me out on a date. Julia beamed happily. - Get out! I exclaim. - I don't even know his name. Julia chuckles. - Oh, it's Dimitri and he's on the varsity football team. I spill the beans. - However, get out!!!!! - Yeah, I know, ain't it a dream? Julia marveled with a dreamingly look on her face. - Getting asked out by a hunky jock! - No, that you actually got a date is the really shocking part. I grin and her dreaming face gets replaced by a glare. - Oh, you, I should just...! She growls while glaring daggers at me. - So, how are things in paradise? She then asks me and a grin spreads across her face. - Any dates, yet, Mr. Larger Than Life? - Ouh, I should just... just... ouh!!! I growl and pout. - So, if I'm a loser, what does that make you? Julia says and then goes off into a cackling fit. - Oh, spare my ears! I groan. - And I'm not a loser! For your information, I just had a date, just now! - Ouh, with whom and where? Julia quizzes me. - Alright, it's a non-date at a cafe with Philip. I groan. - You know, one of those "let's get together" things. - So, you are the bigger loser, after all! Julia proclaims, empathizing the "are". Kill! Kill! Kill! Maim! Maim! Steal Dimitri... wait, where'd that come from?! Anyway, kill, kill, must kill maim and steal-date Julia... - Okay. I say and put on a false smile. - Good luck tonight. With that, I walk off, a million thoughts in my mind. What the heck was I doing, thinking "steal Dimitri"? I mean, he does have that hunky body, sandy blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and sexy access look to him and... oh my God... I'm attracted to guys!

THROUGH PHILIP'S EYES

Ah... an impending date with my boyfriend... picture this, Philip Wester with a boyfriend! Only a year ago, I hadn't had any boyfriends and now, I've had three, and counting. Well, one was a cheating bastard, but he still counts. As I skip merrily over to mine and Brian's room, I can hear voices inside. I swing the door open and freeze on the spot.

To be continued...

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