NEW DISCLAIMER: No disclaimer. Read the old ones! :^) No "Did you knows", no quotes, no nothing. Just a story!
PHILOSOPHY: What's so good about being gay? 1: You get to dance like a sissy without people judging you (well, at least not more than they already are) 2: You get to have great taste in fashion 3: You get to have something all straight guys want; a ton of girls just dying to spend time with you.
And there's, of course, the kissing boys part, which is really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really cool. Especially straight boys!
NOTE: The first part of Ashley's POV will be a "re-run" of the final "act" of NAPSophomore03.
FROM ASHLEY'S POV
- So, ready to dance? Philip asks me. - Yeah. I say. - Let's do it! And we jump back onto the dancing, rocking off to "Zombie" by the Cranberries. Man, I'm happy that that House Of Horror is over and that the party's back on. I'd rather dance than get scared witless. - You're such a wimp, you know that? He chuckles. - Oh, yeah? I cry in mock anger. - Yeah. He says and smiles. He's so cute when he does that... wait... why am I thinking this?! - "Here's the picture I've been looking for..."! A new song suddenly exchanges "Zombie". Uh-oh, slow dance. Uh-oh again. - Hey, wanna dance? Philip asks and smiles. - Sure. I say. Oops! Why did I just say that?! And why do I feel this warm feeling in my gut when our bodies touch? He just looks surprised and then his smiles widens and look the surprise fades away. He throws his arms around my neck pulls me closer to him and then put his head on my right shoulder. I like this. Why do I like it? And why does my crotch stir? No! Please, not here, not now! - Oh. Philip says. Uh-oh! He felt it! - I think that your keys are nudging my leg. He whisper into my ear. - Oh, yeah, that's it. I say. - Just leave they there. It's doesn't really hurt that much, now does it? - Nope. He says and I can sense that he's smiling. - Besides, I'd never willingly let my arms leave your body. And I snese that he's grinning. - "Here's the photo of the neighbourhood..."! The song carries on. - "Here's the corner where we stood. Here's a snapshot of dad's old car." - By the way, thank you. Philip suddenly says pulls his head up to face me. Oh, his face is so close to mine that I can feel his breath... Juicy Fruit?! Anyway, I like this. Why do I like it? - Thank you for what? I ask, bewildered. - For everything. He says and smiles. - For helping me get over Brian, for being so understanding of my sexuality, for being such a good friend and then for leading me on. Silence... at least between the two of us. - "And all those friends. Where did they go. I don't know," That's the music again. - I know that you'll never love me. He says and puts his head back onto my shoulder. - But you treat me like you will. And that's enough for me, knowing that you care about me, although you'll never care about me the way that I want you to. - "And all those friends. We used to know. In the neighbourhood." The voice of Vonda Shepard keeps on singing. And then, the DJ decides to let the song roll again. Everyone leaves the dance floor, except for me and Philip. - "Here's the photo I've been looking for. It's a picture of a boy next door." We keep on dancing while everybody's looking at us, Piper staring while sipping on a big glass of soda. He grins at me and I just frown. - "And I loved him more than words could say. Never knew it 'til he moved away," The music keeps on going. - I'm leaving tomorrow. Philip suddenly says. And the music stops. - You're gonna what?! I exclaim and grab him and hold him up so that we're face to face again. - Let's just go over there. He whispers and ushers me into a corner. The music starts again, this time with "It's Raining Men", the Geri Halliwel version, and people start crowding the dance floor again. - So, embellish, bubby. I order him. - I'm leaving tomorrow. - I'm going back home. - You're goin home?! I exclaim. Oh thank God! I thought he was leaving for good, to go back to that Brian guy or something. Wait... he's going back home?! To those nazis of parents?! Is he crazy?! - Are you crazy?! I exclaim. - No. He says. - Why are you going back home to meet those nazi-parents of yours? I ask. - I've gotta give them one more chance. He says.
FROM PHILIP'S POV
Oh God, so, this is the big day. I'm going back home to Sweden. - Do you have to? Ashley whines. - Yes, I do. I say. - But...! He starts protesting, but I put a hand on his shoulder and he quiets down. Actually, it isn't just for quieting him down. It's also for my perverted pleasure. - Now, now. I say. - I've gotta do this. I've gotta go face my terrible fate... I've gotta go back home for the break. - But you hate those people! Ashley points out. - I guess. I sigh. Aah. Ashley's one of the greatest straight guys I've ever met. Here were are, him sitting on his bed and me lying with my head in his lap. If only all straight guys were like this... - But I have to go home. They want to see me and if I disappoint them, they might cut my "fundings" off and I won't be able to keep on studying over here anymore. - And I'll lose my favorite lap-pillow. Ashley chuckles and I smile. He's got this weird ability to always make me smile. When I'm with him for an entire die, I laugh so much that my facial muscles start cramping up as soon as I even start smiling. - Now, now, I'm no lap-pillow. I say and hoist myself up and then throw my arms around him. He's cool that way, allowing me to do stuff like that. Mmm... muscles... mmm... aftershave... wait... where was I? - I'm a sweater! - You're funny. Ashley chuckles, looking like he's drunk. - You're a funny, funny, gay little queer. - I'm not queer! I protest and he looks surprised. - I also stay away from fags and dislike most fruits... but I am homosexual! - You just had to say that, didn't you? Ashley leers at me. - Yah. I say and throw my arms over my head. I then remember that I have someone to hold and quickly let my arms wrap themselves back around Ashley. - Ah. This is good. I purr and Ashley tenses. - Hey! He exclaims. - Hands! Hands in new places! - Huh? I murmur and suddenly realize that my hands have somehow drifted down to Ashley's crotch. - Oh, I'm so sorry. I apologize and blush. - No you're not. He leers back at me. - No, I guess I really ain't. I giggle and let my hands go back around his waist. Silence... silence... mental image of a naked Ashley... unconscious licking of lips... ouh! Sailor Moon! Wait... it's just Chibi-usa. Scramb, you brat! No! Aargh!! Not that!! Not Pink Sugar Heart Attack!!! Oh, it's a flop! Take this, you pink-haired chibi-demon! - Hey! Ashley exclaims. - What now? I groan. - It's almost time for you to leave. He sighs. - And I might actually miss you. - Well, stranger things have happened. I groan. - No they haven't. He retorts and I frown. - And don't frown. You'll get premature wrinkles in that cute face of yours. - How'd you know that I frowned?! I exclaim. - Have you got "the gift"? - You always frown when I tease you. Ashley chuckles and I hug him tighter, making him breathe harder. - You know me so well. I grin and lighten up on my grip. - I knew you'd do that, too. He chuckles and I resume holding him tightly. - "Alright... oxygen becoming an issue here". He pants and I lighten up on my grip again. Wait a little... didn't Willow say that in the episode "Doppelgangland"? Aha! - Aha! I knew you liked Buffy! I exclaim. - You've been secretly going through my seasonal collection box collection, haven't you? - So what if I have? He asks and smiles. - Then we'll have a lot of Buffy-talking to do when I come back. I might even talk your ears off. - Aha! Angel, season 2, episode 13! He exclaims. - Gosh. I marvel. - You're becoming quite a Buffy/Angel-expert. Should I feel threatened? - You're darn right you should! He chuckles. - Alright then, I feel soooo threatened. I chuckle. - Don't mock the Buffy/Angel-expert-to-be. He pouts and I grin. - Want a kiss? I ask him. - No! He exclaims. - I draw the line at using me as your personal pillow. - Oh, you just wait. I grin. - I'm a very swell manipulator! - Oh God, save me from this devious little fruit. Ashley giggles. - You will be mine! I cry and strike a triumphant pose. - I will kiss my first straight guy! You just wait! Muahahahahahaha!!! - "I fear you". He recites Xander.
NOT A PERFECT SOPHOMORE Chapter 03 - Providence... not!
ASHLEY'S TURMOIL
- "You will be mine!" He cried. - "I will kiss my first straight guy! You just wait!" If only he knew how much I wanted just that. So, he's gone, to the airport, leaving me all alone in our room. Why do I have to feel this way? Why can't I be proud of what I am, like Philip?! I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses. My life's just a sham... I've gotta shout "I am what I am"! - Ashley? Comes Piper's sudden call and he peeks his head through the ajar door. - Waah! I exclaim and literally jumps out of the bed and then land back on top of it again. - Miss him already, don't ya'? He asks. - Yeah. I sigh. - How'd you know. - I miss him too. He sighs and walks over to the bed and sits down next to me. - He was always so much fun to hang out with. - Yeah. I sigh. Silence. - We're such losers. Piper groans. - Yeah, yeah. I say and nod twice.
PHILIP'S HELL AT HOME
- Why am I here? I mumble for myself as I slowly walk down the street, past my old elementary school, and towards my parents' house. - What the heck am I doing here?! I had to cancel my date with Nathan to go back home. I had forgot all about my plans of going home when I accepted his date offer. I stop when I see it, a big yellow... thing. It's so ugly! I mean, hello, yellow! I can see movement through the kitchen window as I walk up the stairs leading to the front door, carrying my small suitcase. Whatever happens when I step through those doors, I won't stay more than two days. I've promised myself that. And I remember all of those hurtful things that they've said, that I'm a bad person, that I'll never get a girlfriend because of my shortness, as if I wanted one, that my grades are never good enough... that I'm wasting my talent drawing Anime...
"I don't want you playing with that black boy. Don't you know what AIDS is? All niggers have them!" "Why did you get your ear pierced? People will talk. They'll think that you're..." "Homosexuality is a disease, which can be cured by locking the sick one with lots of beautiful girls." "Tell me the truth. Do you have "that disease"? If you do, I'll send you back to Vietnam. There are lots of beautiful girls there to cure you." "All gypsies steal!" "Jews are only after money." "You know whose fault it is that the drugs are getting into the neighbourhood, don't you? It's the blacks... and the Iranians and people like them."
All of this, they have said. They're crazy. Mom says that if you read or watch TV while eating, your metabolism won't function correctly. She also thinks that masturbation will make your body development go wrong and that you'll contract STDs. - You're home! She exclaims when she opens the door. It's obvious that she wants a hug. I just stand still, not moving. - Oh, come in. She says cheerfully. - I've made you dinner. Well, that's a shocker. And I mean it! She usually scoffs at me if I ask her to make me something. She thinks that it's my duty to cook, do the dishes and the laundry just because she's injured. What am I, a maid? Why can't that bastard of my father-in-law do it? She also thinks that there's a murderer or gang hiding behind every corner, so I'm not allowed to be out at night, especially since I'm Asian, which will make scum target me. And she's always nagging at me to go out and get friends. And what does she do when I do go out? Tell me to be back before dark and call me every half an hour to check on me! Arrgh!! I hate her so much!
-
So, how is school going? She asks. Pfft. As if she cares. She's watching her soaps. Everything that I tell her will just go in one ear and out the other. - Oh... fine, I guess. I say. - When will Mikael be home? That's what I call him, my father-in-law. I've never called him daddy. She hasn't even adopted me. If mom drops dead, he's not legally responsible for me. - In an hour, I think. She replies and goes to her paperwork. Well, jippie. A big "Hi! You're home!" and then "Go away! I'm working!" - Mine! David exclaims and clutches his box och cerial. Oh, it's the four yearold pain in the butt. All he ever says is "Mine!", "No!", "Get away!" and "Not yours!". - Pft. I groan and push him away. I hate my parents. They think that money is all that's needed to raise a child. Mom complains all of the time because I cost her money. But, hello, gotta have shoes and clothes! I'm not allowed to buy costy clothes. Only clothes on sale. And I never get gifts, except on birthdays and at Christmas. Oh, wait, once Mikeal brought me chicky bits when I was in the hospital with a deadly disease. And every Christmas, they leave me to go back to Vietnam, mom in business and Mikael for fun. They take my brother with them and dump me with either Mikael's or mom's sisters. Well, yay for a merry Christmas. And we never even celebrate anything. We've only had a Christmas tree once Christmas and I've never gotten to fire off fireworks at New Years. It's too costy, according to them. And for Passover, we have meat. Gotta love tradition! Hate 'em! Hate 'em! Hate 'em! Hate 'em! I know that I'm not the perfect son. They constantly remind me of it by criticizing everything that I do. If I succeed, they say "Oh..." nonchalantely, but if I fail, I never hear the end of it. Not even when I came home with the best grades in class did they do anything by say "Good for you" and then forget all about it. - Pft. I repeat as I flip through the channels. Oh! Goody! Reruns of The Nanny Named Fran. You know, after seven rounds of reruns without ever showing the sixth and final season, it's getting a little boring.
-
Mom, Mikael...! I start. There's no turning back now... gotta tell them. - I'm gay. Silence. And then, she starts crying. The nerve! - Why are you saying this? She sobs. - Do you want to hurt me? Like the time when you...! - Stop it, you bitch!!!! I cry. It's the first time I've ever called anyone a bitch. And I'm happy that it was my "beloved" mom. If she died tomorrow, it'd say "Helena Van Wester. Hated mother." when I'm done with her tombstone. - What did you say? Mikael asks and walks over to me. And he raises his hand at me. - I wouldn't do that if I were you. I say and he stops. - It'd go to the police and you might lose your job and no longer be able to afford to switch cars every other year. You've never even given me a dime in allowance, but you can spend thousands of dollars on cars. You know, even when mom went away and gave you money to give me each day to buy fastfood, you demanded proof of that I had eaten. I wasn't allowed to save up the money. Unless I had spent it all, I didn't get any more. - You ungrateful ingrate! He cries. - You... you...! - You know, I used to let talk like this get to me. I say. - But not anymore. I'm over it. I disowed you as my parents when I turned 12. I had realized that I was gay and that was also when you started treating me badly. I know that I'm not a perfect person, but I'm a good guy and there are plenty of guys out there who will take me. And I will start a family. I will raise a child. - Get out of this house at once! Mom cries. - You... can't have "that disease"!! - Fine, then. I snort. God. She hasn't changed a bit, still thinking that it's all just a disease. - I'm never coming back! With that said, I run to my room and lock the door behind me. I grab my suitcase and then unlock the window. I jump out and then close the window so that it locks itself. Now they'll have to knock down the door! I'm not even thinking anymore. I'm just running, aimlessly, me, the guy who's always hated running. I arrive at the train station and catch a train into the city and from there I take a bus back to Arlanda. - I did have to come back here. I sigh to myself as the bus is speeding down the highway. - I had to see that I really didn't belong here. I had to see that my parents aren't ever gonna change. I had to see that I shouldn't ever come back again!!!
ASHLEY'S TURMOIL
Yay!! It's him!!! He's back!!!! Finally!!!!! I literally skip over to the door and open it, only be met by a sour look. - What's wrong? I ask as Philip storms past me and throws his suitcase onto his bed. - Oh, my nazis of parents didn't take the news well. He groans and flops down on my bed. "I told you so" I had an urge of saying, but decide to refrain from. - And now they might just cut off my "fundings" and I'll have to go back to study in Sweden. - Oh, don't you worry about that. I say and grin mischievously. - Heh? He asks and hoistes himself into a sitting position and cock his head at me. - I'm loaded! I cry out and throw a couple of twenties at him. - You are what?! He exclaims and jumps out of bed. - My parents made a fortune in stock management, so my monthly allowance is, like, a thousand bucks. I foretell him and smile widely. - And you are telling this, other than to make me jealous, because...? He asks me while glaring at me. - Well, if those nazis cut your fundings off, I'd be glad to pay for your tuition. - You would?! He exclaims. - Sure. I say. - I'll even pay your way through college. - And what if I piss you off and we never speak again? He asks coyly. - Well, then I'll send you checks. I say and smile widely at him. - Wait... you're pulling my legs, aren't you? He asks and eyes me suspiciously. - I mean, my mother groaned whenever I asked for ten bucks for something and you're offering me payment for my tuition after knowing me for a mere three months. Nobody would do something like that for...! - Don't say so. I say and put a hand under his cheek. He has bowed his head down, so I pull it up so that I can look him in the eyes. - You're a wonderful person and a great friend. I say and he smiles widely. Besides, I fantasize about you at nights. That I never said. I just thought it. And my "Netherlands" hardened slightly. Oh, bad Netherlands, bad Netherlands! Maybe I'll send Czech to occupy you! - And I'd be glad to continue being friends with you even after high school. Maybe I can bribe the administration so that we can room together at our future college. - Oh, I love you, guy!!! He exclaims and throws himself into my arms. And then I feel that familiar sensation again... his hands on my ass. - Hey, hands, hands! I point out and he pulls back, grinning from ear to ear. - You know you enjoy it. He giggles. - Do not! I groan and blush slightly. - I will have you! He declares. - You will be mine! - What a cliché. I groan. - I really will! He whines. - Yeah, right. I chuckle. - Oh, I will have you, you... you...! He stutters and then grins. - ...brunette! Ouh! That did it! - Oh, yeah?! I exclaim. - Well, listen here, Mr. Slutty-pants...! - Hey, you're back. I can suddenly hear Piper's voice and both me and Philip turn our heads towards the door in unison. Piper's standing there, smiling widely. I grab a pillow and throw it at him. It hits him square in the face and he comes tumbling to the floor. - Now, where were we? I ask. - I believe you were saying "Slutty-pants". Philip says. - Oh, yeah. I say. - Well, listen here, Mr. Slutty-pants. I'll have you know that...! - What'd you do that for? Piper interrupts me. I glare at him. Oh, he's off the ground, holding the pillow. - Oh, shut up. Both me and Philip growl in unison. - Oh, you are always telling me what to do! Piper groans. - Well, you are...! - Oh yeah, well you are...! - Shut up! - I hate you! - I hate you more! - I hate you the most! - I hated you first! - I'll hate you the last! - Oooh!!! And then we all hug and make up. Well, actually, me and Piper hugged. Philip "settled" for groping.
FOOTNOTE: I'm in love!!!! Well, I've seen this cute guys in the halls and today, for last period, he joined my class. We have these funny high school system in Sweden. We have "programs", each specializing in something, like economy, science or civics. Mine's civics and language.
Anyway, he's got brown hair, which is slightly curly, brown eyes and a perfect face. My heart skipped a beat when he entered the room. He's so shy, which only makes him cuter!!! When he entered the room, all of the girls hooted. I contemplated doing it too, but decided not to. Don't want to freak him out now, do I?
And, oh, his name is Adam. I spent my way home (I have to take the subway. We also have a weird system as in that not all schools have all "programs", so I have to attend a school cirka 6 miles away) doodling the name "Adam" into my notebook in ten different ways.
Also, I've decided already that I'm gonna take a guy to my prom (which will be in Spring of 2004). Maybe I can persuade Adam into it, even if she turns out to be straight (the odds of that, according to Swedish statistics, are 1 to 10. We're 32 in our class, so there should be 2 other queers/dykes in here). :^) Now, if only I can find out a way to start up a conversation with him...
Anyway, write to me at FallenAngelII@hotmail.com Just write to me if you want to flame me, give me comments, suggestions or just chat. Why not send some nudes too? And if you live in Sweden, in Stockholm and are 14-18, please, please, please email me about a date!!!!!!
If I don't receive enough mails to tell me that my work is appriciated, I might go into a(nother) neurotic fit and never write again! I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, reaaaally mean it this time!
For all of those who read and give me feedback:
Thank you! (English, well, duh!)
Tack! (Swedish)
Takk! (Norwegian)
Tak! (Danish)
Spatsiba! (Russian)
Arigato! (Japanese)
Gracias! (Spanish)
Gratzie! (Italian)
Merci! (French)
Cam on! (Vietnamese)
Cap con cah! (Thai)
Danke! (German)
Dziekuje! (Polish)