Not a Perfect Love

NEW DISCLAIMER: No disclaimer. Read the old ones! :^) No "Did you knows", no quotes, no nothing. Just a story!

THE I'M OPENLY GAY BAROMETER:

Number of those who know: 42

STATS: 35 girls, one lesbian, the rest straight

11 boys, 2 bi and the rest straight

(These are numbers from my school)

THE I'M OPENLY GAY BAROMETER: Globally: 1000+ (the people at Pride Stockholm)

• 100+ approx. people. (Internet, friends, friends of friends,

etc.)

ASHLEY VOICEOVER: Previously on Not A Perfect Sophomore

• Fag. Danny says to Philip. - Freaking fudgepacker. Did you spend you weekends getting it on with some other boy-slut again? - Shut up. Philip growls at him. - Not that kind of language in my class, Mr. Wester, please. Mr. Morris says. - What?! Philip exclaims. - That is it. Mr. Morris says angrily. - You have caused enough commotion. Please go and wait outside.

• Mr. Wester, please come back in. Mr. Morris asks Philip. - I have looked for a reason to fail you for a very long time and I've finally found one. You started arguing with a boy in class and used foul words. - But he started it! Philip protests. - Well, who's the school board gonna believe? Me or some kind of fag? - So, this is all an issue about me being Gay, isn't it? Philip questions Mr. Morris. - I've always been a good student... always good at French. And now you're gonna fail me? Don't you think that people are gonna get just a tad suspicious? - Not if they look at your test scores. Mr. Morris says and throws a stack of paper at Philip's feet. Philip leans down and picks them up. - But these aren't mine. Philip protests. - This isn't my handwriting. - Looked at your tests and then forged your handwriting. Mr. Morris says. - Officially, you've gotten a failing grade at each and every test, up-to- date. Suddenly, Mr. Morris punches himself in the face. His nose starts bleeding. - Help! He screams. - Please! Stop! Stop hitting me! Stop! Mr. Harder and four students storm into the room. - What happened? Mr. Harder demands to get to know. - He beat me down after I told him that I was going to fail him. Mr. Morris says while pointing at Philip. - Wasn't me. Philip says.

• This is serious. Mr. Harder says. He's sitting behind his while I'm sitting at a chair in front of the desk, with Mr. Morris pacing back and forth, rubbing his bloody face. - It wasn't me. I say. - Then who was it? Mr. Harder asks. - It was him, Mr. Morris himself. I say. - He beat himself down and then yelled for you. - Now why would he do something like that? Mr. Harder asks. - Because he doesn't like me. I say. - Because I'm Gay. - I've heard enough. Mr. Harder says. - You are hereby expelled from Insomnia High until further notice. With that said, he stands up and they both leave the room. I'm sitting there, staring into space, clutching my bookbag. - You're gonna pay for this! I think in the back of my head. - You are so gonna pay!

NOT A PERFECT SOPHOMORE Chapter 07 - It's One's Life And It's Time To Open Up Your Closet

• You were expelled?! Piper exclaims. It's kinda our thing. Something big happens, me, Piper and Ashley gather in the school cafeteria and Piper exclaims some redundant remark really loud. - You have to fight this, you know that, don't you? Ashley asks. - Of course. I say. - I'm gonna get my real tests back and prove that those two are liars. They will lose their jobs and I will retain the A that is me worthy. - But how? Piper asks. And there went the bubble. - Why do you always have to burst my bubble? I groan and glare at him. - Well, sorry. He says, like the true queen-wannabe that he is. - Now, let's plot. Ashley says and grins evilly. - Plot me! I cry.

• Ideas, suggestions? I ask, exhausted. - Times' awaisting. We're lying down, on the floor of Piper's dorm room, all exhausted after hours of thinking without a single useful idea popping up. - This sucks. Piper groans. - Thank God it's Saturday tomorrow so that we can sleep in. - Well, this settles it. I say. - We'll have to break into his office. - We'll hafta wha?! They both exclaim in unison, strangely energetic. - That's the only way we're gonna be able to get my real tests back. I explain as they both look at me, tilting their heads backwards. - Alright then. Ashley says. - If it's the only way.

• Alright, have you gotten everything now? I ask Piper and he nods. - Good. Now, let's break the law! - One for all...! Ashley says and we oth put our right hands together, forming a circle. - And all for one! We all then shout and they're off, leaving me in front of mr. Morris' office.

THROUGH ASHLEY'S EYES

• Ready? I ask Piper. - Ready. He says and nods. As the rest of our history class clears out, leaving me and Piper alone with mr. Morris who, rather fortunately, also teaches history. - Mr. Morris. Piper says as we both approach him with fake smiles on our faces. It feels as if my face is gonna sag with all of the muscles that I have to strain to keep the smile up. - Yes, Mr. Camfield? Mr. Morris asks Piper curiously. He almost look human from this angle... - Well, we were wondering if you could explain World War II a little more. Piper says with a fake tone of excitement in his voice. - We really want to do well on our essays. - Oh, how marvelous to see two students so eager to learn that they'd sacrifice their recess. Mr. Morris says and takes his glasses off. - Alright then. I have twenty minutes to spare. Why don't you both sit down and I'll go more into detail.

BREAKING AND ENTERING - PHILIP

Don't be nervous. I'm just breaking in here. I mean, expelled already. What could happen? Jail. Anyways, I've seen them doing this kinda stuff in cheesy movies and teen series. C'mon, how hard could it be? I put a hand on the door handle of mr. Morris' office and suddenly hear footsteps. I quickly hide behind a sofa. Thank God I'm small and that his office is in the end of a corridor, so not many people go here. When I am sure of that no one's coming, I jump out and then as quick as lightning, I open the door, jump inside of close it quietly. - So this is how the Devil's lair looks like. I say as I survey the room. Papers and books everywhere. There's so much stuff on the desk, where most of it's lying, that the desk itself is barely visible. Now if I were an evil and bitter old man, where would I hide tests of which I have done forges of? - Hmm...! I mumble as I start rummaging through the stacks of papers on his desk, being careful to put them back just the way I found them. - Last term's paper...! I mumble. - Darla's test score...! The upcoming paper...! And I freeze. The upcoming paper. What if I copied it and sold it? It would certainly shut him up when everybody in the entire class knew all of the answers to one of his stupid university-levelled tests. No... can't. Must find what I'm looking for. And I resume searching.

THE ART OF ACTING - PIPER

• Yes, and the gas chambers used a gas called Cyklon-B. Mr. Morris continuted. Julia Roberts, out of the way! Me acting interested in his boring talk alone should win me an oscar! - Yes, yes. I say and nod. - But weren't there any other "brands" used? - Yes, of course there were, but Cyklon-B was produced especially for usage in the concentration camps. Mr. Morris says and smiles happily, as if this is the first time students have stayed for... wait... this must be the first time!

DROWNING IN OTHER PEOPLE'S PAPER WORK - PHILIP

• Aha!! I exclaim. I found it! Wait... why does it say Philip Swanson?! I look closely at it and then roll my eyes at myself, which is very hard, by the way. And so, the never ending story goes on. What's that? - Aha!! I exclaim and hold the paper up. Wait... Philip Lester... crap! - Crap! I groan and let the paper drop slowly to the floor. Wait, what's that?! - Aha!!! I exclaim and hold the paper up. This is definitely it. Philip Wester, A, and ouh, what's that? A bunch of other papers. I quickly grab them all and shove them into my bookbag. I then put everything back exactly as it was and rush out of there. - Phew. I sigh with relief when I reach the edge of school. - I made it. - Freeze! Someone suddenly say and I freeze on the spot. Wait... say what?!

BORED TO DEATH - ASHLEY

I throw a look at my wristwatch. He should've found them by now. Or maybe he hasn't and has gotten out of there. But we did say four o'clock. - Oh, professor Morris, we've got to hurry. I say and stand up. Piper quickly stands up, too. - Sorry for taking up so much of your time. Piper apologizes. - Oh, nonsense. Mr. Morris says and smiles. - We'll have to do this some other time. Yeah, when Hell freezes over. - Of course. I say with a fake cheerfulness. - I can't tell you how mad, I mean glad I am for having had this talk with you. With that said, we both shake hands with him and then leave. My God. I thought I'd die of boredom. Either that or I'd kill myself or whack mr. Morris upside the head with that big portfolio of his. - Thank God we got out of there. Piper sighs as we walk down the hallway and end up on campus. There, on the edge of campus, I can spot Philip. - Who's that talking to him? Piper wonders.

• Freeze! It can't be... I turn around. There he is. Hair flowing in the wind... red. And that cute little squeezeable ass, although turned away from me. - Hi ya, Phil. He grins in the cute and impish way that only he can. - Angel? I ask. - How'd... how did you know I went here? I ask, a little confused. - I followed you. He says and grins. - From the cementary. - You what from where to whatum?! I exclaim. - Come with me. He says and his face takes on a serious air. He walks me over to a bench and we both sit down. He draws a long breath and then opens his mouth to speak. - Julie's dead. He says. I feel strange. I didn't really know her. But for some reason, I feel sad and as if I'm going to cry... - I... I'm sorry. I say quietly. - We buried her...! Angel says quietly. Leaves fall down the trees giving us shade and flush over us as the gentle breeze cools the air. - The same day... you were there. He says quietly. Although he's speaking grammatically incorrect, I can still understand him. - We buried her and I decided to stay. He says quietly and start dangling with his legs. - And then, I saw you. And that Riley...! - Hold on here! I exclaim. - How can you know who Riley is? - Oh, he came to look for you. Angel says and smiles widely. - You won't believe how high Julia jumped when she saw him. I mean, like Olympic-Games-high. - So... you saw us. I say and start reminiscing that day. - You... you were the one who made that noise, weren't you? - Yah. He says and grins sheepishly. - And then I hurried out of sight. - So... you found me. I say quietly. - How is everybody? - Oh, just fine. Angel says. - Brian's acting weird. He's bruting. Won't talk to us. I think he feels really guilty. - Well, good! I say and put on an angry face. - You still love him, don't you? He asks. - First loves are forever. I sigh. - But I've got someone new in my life now, although he's straight. - Who is he? Angel asks. That's when I notice Ashley and Piper standing there, watching us from afar. Thank God for my contacts. - Oh, that guy. I say and point at Ashley. - Hi ya'll. They both walk up to us and I stand up to introduce them. - Ashley, Piper, this is Angel, from my old school. I tell them. - Oh, Angel with the cute a...! Piper starts saying and I throw him a deep glare that shuts him up. - Cute what? Angel leers at me. - Cute a... a... a... angel-statue! Piper stutters and Angel flashes him a grin and then gives me a glare. - WHat, you ran out of topics and just started discussing my ass? He groans. - Well, it is cute. I say a-matter-of-factly. - And damn squeezeable. And for once, Angel starts blushing. - Wait 'til I tell the gang all about...! And I go silent. - Wait a minute! I exclaim. - If you followed me from the cementary, how come you're here today? I mean, that was three days ago. - Oh, I didn't have the time. He says quietly. - And I'm every busy with my...! He faded down while saying the sentence and I couldn't quite hear the last word. - Say what? I ask him. - My boyfriend! He cries so loud I almost jump. - Your boyfriend?! I exclaim. - I'm so happy for you! And I hate you! And I hope you're happy together. He nods. - And I hate you! I groan and he grins. - So, who's the... unlucky guy? - Oh, Neo. He says and grins. - What?! I exclaim. - Anyways. He says, quickly changing the subject. - Gotta go. Research mode. Test tomorrow. Bye. And he's off. - Weird guy. Ashley says. - Nice, though weird. Piper agrees with Ashley. - Super-nice. I say.

NOT A PERFECT SOPHOMORE Chapter 07 - Your Life Is A Sham 'Til You Can Shout Out "I Am What I Am"

• A delegation will be sent. Ashley tells me. - Are you sure? I ask. - Yes. Ashley says. - It's pretty much your word against theirs. But we've got your real tests. - But it won't be enough. I say. - We'll have to trick them. - But how? He asks. - Let's think. And four hours later, we're all, once more, lying on the floor, clueless, only this time, it's mine and Ashley's. - We've hit rock bottom. I groan. - I have an idea. Piper suddenly says. - Oh, a lower spot. I say and can actually hear how Piper sticks his tongue out at me. - Anyway, let's hear this plan. Ashley says and we all get up into sitting positions. - Embellish, bubby. I say. - Alright, this is the deal...! Piper starts embellishing.

• That has to be one of the most cheese clichée movie-plagiating ideas I've ever heard! Ashley grunts. - Still, it could work. - You think so? Piper asks. - Well, let's measure my waist again. I say and go and get a measur tape out of my beside drawer. - And the reason as to why you have that there is...? Ashley questions me. - I knit. I say. - Oh, of course...! He says and then realization strikes. - You knit?! He exclaims. - Now. I say, ignoring him, and measure my waist. - Yes! Still 66 centimeters! It'll do. - My God. Piper groans. - It's your plan! I growl. - And you're just jealous. - Well, at least I've got some...! He starts saying. - Fat? Ashley interrupt him and he goes all red. - I am not fat!!! He practically screams, making the pictures on Ashley's desk tremble.

• You're summoning a what?! Mr. Harder exclaims as I, Piper and Ashley glare at him while standing in front of his desk. - A delegation. Piper says. - From the Board Of Education. - You can't do that! Mr. Harder prostest. - Oh, but we can. Ashley says and grins. - We have the law on our side here. - And we've got proof. Piper says. - We've got solid proof of that the two of you worked together to get Philip expelled just because he'd gay. With that said, we all turn around and leave. - D'you think he bought it? I whisper to Piper. - Dunno. He replies.

• So, let's do this. I say and they leave. I stare at it. Wait... there's gotta be another way. Now I know that I'm thin, but am I that thin? Oh well. I grab my camcorder and start descending... into the ventilation system. I read off the map we copied from City Hall as I move through the tubes, finally ending up at the lid that overviews Mr. Harder's office, where he and Mr. Morris are having a meeting, as planned. - You heard that Piper Harris. Mr. Harder says as he paces back and forth. - They've found proof against us. - Oh, don't worry. Mr. Morris says. - They're bluffing. - Yeah, you wish. I think as I start the camcorder and point the lense at the lid. Suddenly, Piper and Ashley burst into the room, which is just as planned. - It's over! Ashley says. - Why don't you just surrender to the delegation? Piper says and grins. - Confess and you might get a lighter punishment. - Oh, do you think we're stupid? Mr. Morris growls. - Why would we confess? - Well, at least tell us why you did it. Ashley says. - Why did you work so hard together to expell Philip? - Because homosexuality is a disease. Mr. Harder says. - And AIDS is the cure. But we have to do our own cleansing to reach our goal. - And what goal is that? Piper asks. - A perfect world. Mr. Morris says and grins maliciously. - So, basically, you're nazis? Piper asks. - Y'know, eradicate homosexuality, Judaism, etc.? My God, he actually said "etc". I have to fight not to giggle. - Yeah, pretty much. Mr. Harder says. - So, you forged those tests, copying Philip's handwriting off of his real tests, and then beat yourself up and then pretended like it wa Philip who'd done it? Piper asks. - Yes. Mr. Morris says. - But where do you fit in, Mr. Harder? Ashley asks. - I helped him with the forging. Mr. Harder says and grins. - Now, let's quit playing games. Mr. Morris says and grabs Piper by his left arm. He then puts his free arm into Piper's pocket and pulls out the recording tape-recorder. - I knew it! He exclaims. - Did you really think you could trick me just like that fag tricked his parents for emancipation? With that said, he pulls the tape out and throws it into the carafe of water on Mr. Harder's desk. - Crap. Piper groans with fake disappointment. - Just you wait! Ashley growls at Mr. Morris. - We'll get proof on you. And then you're both going down! - This should be interesting. Mr. Morris grins and hurls the tape-recorder at Piper. He grabs it and then he and Ashley turn around and start walking out of the office. - Just you wait! Ashley growls without looking back.

• We did it!!! Piper exclaims and we all high five each other. - Five by five. I say. - I mean, I thought I had blown it when I accidentaly bumped into the wall of the ventilation system, but Mr. Harder had accidentaly smashed his carafe at the same time, so they didn't really notice the noise that I made. - Now, let's give this to the delegation. Ashley says.

This is so great! The delegation's here. They've seen the real tests and the video recording. Ouh! They are going down!!! - This is so great! Ashley whispers at me. Great minds think alike, I guess. We're sitting here, in the history class' class room, standing before a delegation. And the entire settings looks weirdly like that court room... only this time, me, Ashley and Piper are not dressed formally. We're dressed streetishly. Anyways, the proceedings are over and the delegation, consisting of Ms. Duskhu, Mr. Ferlando, Mrs. Talic and Ms. Dermi, is about to announce its decision in the matter. I look over at Harder and Morris and grin when I see that they're both sweating profusely and looking extremely nervous. - This delegation has dediced in favor of Mr. Wester. Ms. Duskhu says. - Congratulations. You will be let back into school without any added absence on your record. Also, after going through your real test scores, I am giving you an A. - Thank you. I thank her and smile happily and wrinkly my nose momentarily, in delight. - As for Mr. Morris and Mr. Harder. Ms. Duskhu says and her tone turns stern. - Your positions here at Insomnia High are hereby terminated. You will never work here again and should you continue to harass Mr. Wester, legal measures will be taken. With that said, she stands up and leaves. - See. I say while grinning at them. - Je gagne. Vous perdez. I walk out of there and get met by Ashley and Piper. - Well? They both ask in unison, evidentely curious out of their minds. - I won! I exclaim. - I'm getting an A! And they're getting fired!!! Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and quickly shrug it off when I see that it's Morris'. - Listen here, punk. He says with disdain in his voice. - You might think that you've won. But you never will. No matter where you go, we'll be there, us men. We don't want fags around. And we'll do whatever it takes to drive you away. You will never be free! With that said, he walks out of the place, followed by Harder, who just grins wickedly at me. - Philip? Ashley asks. I run. I start running. I don't stop... I can't. Something in my brain has snapped and I can't stop running. I hear Ashley and Piper shout for me, their shouts turning into faint sounds. "P... ip"... "..i...ip".

• I can't win...! I think as I walk into the bathroom. It's my bathroom... mine and Ashley's. Our dorm room. Can't think, can't think. I let the faucett run and gather some water into my cupped hand before turning it off. I throw the water into my face and then wipe it with a towel. - I can never win. I think in the back of my head. - No matter how many of those scum that I lock away or get fired, there'll always be more. I'll never be completely accepted for who I am. And, c'mon, let's face it, I'm not good looking enough or good enough for anyone to love me. My looks... nothing special. And I'm a nerd. Hangs out in the computer lab, get good test scores... a nerd. Brian was a fiasco and Ripley... not to mention Kevin. I... I...! And that's when I see it, lying there, gleaming in the light. The razor. I've seen it so many times on TV. Just two small hand movements and it'll be over. Yes, it will. So, I pick it up. I look at it and feel it in my hand. Ouch. I cut myself and a trickle of blood forms on the blade. So, I do it. In two swift motions. It feels... weird. It doesn't hurt that much. It just feels a little strange as the blood trickles out. I hear a noise. A door slamming. Someone entered the room? - Philip! I can suddenly hear Ashley's voice exclaim. More blood spill out of my wrists and I tumble to the floor, hitting my head, hard, on the tiles. Everything goes blurry. My head. Wetness. I feel the blood as it trickles out all over my hair. I see someone, probably Ashley. It's too blurry to see who it is. The person leans down to me and speaks. - A-r-e y-o-u o-k-a-a-a-y. It sounds like one of those cheezy sequences in the movies when they make the sound go slower and deeper. And I black out.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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