Surprise! So quick? Yeah I have up until chapter 18 done almost, it all depends on how much feedback I get. I'd like to know the flaws (Other than the short chapters) What you guys would like to see in the last fifteen chapters and such. Reviews? I live on them and i thank the fans who have emailed me. The emails pile up and I can't reply to each of them, so I thank you all in this note and I love all my editors who have helped, thank you Albert for working on this chapter. I'm also sorry I didn't mention the horrible abuse that Wade was going to endure last chapter, I didn't mean to make anyone antsy or mad. Your straight girl, zland (: Enjoy.
"No!" The scream leaving my mouth sounded more like a cough coming from a sore throat. Beads of sweat ran down from my forehead and I couldn't help but start to cry, from the pain and the situation I landed myself in.
"Oh baby, shh it's going to be okay." I turned into the direction my mother's voice sounded in. Her cold hands intertwined with mine, her dark blue eyes were pouring out sympathy but other than that, they were lifeless. Her jet black hair was tied up in a bun and she wore black jacket over her yellow shirt and blue pants. She looked beautiful.
"Mom, did dad tell you what I told him?" I sniffled and squeezed her hand tighter; she gave me a goofy little grin that lit up her face.
"Yes. We were arguing when I came home, I told him what a bastard of a father he was and he told me what a horrible mother I was for not even knowing we had a gay son. I called him a hypocrite for not knowing either. "She chuckled at how lame the argument sounded and I offered a small smile knowing that being gay didn't bother them.
"I guess that using me being gay to further your argument means you don't care?" She laughed out loud, stood up and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
"Oh I care, you better be using condoms and I refuse to have a child who whores themselves. Don't cheat on the one you love and make sure that first time is special because you can never get it back." What she said left me to think about Robbie. Are first time had been in the barn behind his house, we were both horny at the time and I couldn't keep my hands off his flexing arm. I hear my mother gasp in shock so I turn and look at her.
"What?"
"You've already had sex haven't you?" I probably blushed three shades of red from embarrassment, it is not appropriate to talk about your love life!
"Mom, can we not talk about this right now?" The expression in her eyes changed from shocked to angry, to compassion.
"Sorry your right, this is not the place to have this discussion but you're not out of it yet. Now tell me about the nightmare you just had." My mouth lolls open, she can read her kids like a book and just like she predicted dad to be cheating when I thought he was the greatest father alive, I'll trust her advice.
"You should become a therapist."
"What?" She giggles at the random answer and I sigh while thinking if I tell someone of what I went through, then maybe this weight will lift off of my shoulders. So instead I start at the beginning, how Robbie and I met, how we ended up together and why were not together now. I tell her about Shelly and Cody and why I ran the other night and went into detail of what the boys did to me. By the end of the story she had tears in her eyes.
"Honey, I am no therapist but after what you've been threw I think you need one. Now it's not a bad thing to see one, it will help you sort out the confusion and fight the pain." I groaned at the thought of seeing one and discussing my problems. I decided to change the discussion to another important one and because I didn't want to think about going to a therapist right now.
"Mom, dad wants me to come live with him when he leaves for Detroit, I don't know what to do." Anger flickered in her eyes at the mere mention of dad.
"No, absolutely not, I know you kids are old enough to decide who you want to go live with but he's just not up and taking you from me. I will get the courts involved if he wants custody and it will give you guys plenty of time to think about it, not a week." I smiled at her fiery passion, her mother instincts kicked in and were here to stay, now that she's on high alert for any signs of danger. Before I went back to sleep I wanted her advice on one more thing.
"What do you think I should do about Cody and Robbie?" She gave me a blank expression before breaking out into a huge grin.
"You sure like to change subjects don't you? I think if Robbie really cares about you, he will fight for the love between the both of you, not get a girlfriend or ignore you. If Cody is willing to do anything and if he ends up being a good guy then I would say give him a chance?"
"You give the best advice, and hey why aren't you on duty?"
"When they brought you in yesterday I nearly had a heart attack, my boss advised me to take some time off which is exactly what I'm doing." I scrunched up my eyebrows at her choice of words.
"How long have I been out?" Her sympathy returned as she sat back down and sighed sadly.
"You were brought in yesterday morning and have been sleeping the whole time. I'm the only one who knows you're here. Nobody answered their phones when I called and so far all I know is nobody's home. You're dad had left after our argument, I don't know where he is." A feeling of relief washed over me, nobody knew how weak I had been the night before and people can only take so much of the sympathy card.
That night I dreamed of Cody and it seemed as if the years had just zipped by. We were in our seventies with a bunch of grand kids and Austin was their giving his support. The sad thing is I didn't see Robbie anywhere; did he give up on us? I couldn't understand this, I knew what I felt when we were around each other. I'm usually glowing whenever I'm with him, I feel happy and content with where I am, but when I'm with Cody I feel... lust? Of course I'm attracted, any girl or gay guy would be crazy to think he is anything but hot. I'd rank him on a tie with Robbie, no joke. I didn't get the significant meaning of the dream because I still have strong feelings or Robbie even though he's being a douche right now. I thought about what mom said; since she's going to fight for us I have time to rekindle things here. Although it will be painful, I forgot to ask if the boys had been caught or if their still running around torturing gay boys. I shivered at knowing they had all raped me, not just touching, they were inside of me. I felt scared, as I lay there in the hospital bed, not knowing if they had made me a target for escaping or if I was worrying for nothing. Mom lay on the pull out chair, completely passed out, probably from exhaustion. I pushed the button to call a nurse in and not three seconds later did the door quietly open.
"Yes?"
"Could I get something so I can sleep? I've been trying for a half an hour and sleep just isn't coming." She smiled gently and nodded, to say I slept soundly would be lying. Dreams swam around as others forced me to relive the horrible nightmare with the boys.
"Let me in, I need to speak with him please Mrs. Dayton?"
"Robbie you hurt my son enough with reputation being most important to you. What if somebody from school happened to be in the building? Running away from Wade wouldn't help his self-esteem right now."
"I don't care about the likes of them outside of school; please just let me talk to him!"
"Mom let him, he's okay."
"Are you positive?"
"Yes." She gave him a warning, mean glare before reluctantly letting him in. Not a second later did we have privacy as she mumbled something about getting a drink?
"Wade, your brother told me what happened, he's gone to get breakfast, I am so sorry."
"I don't want your apologizes Robbie, I want to know if you'll stick by me when I need you the most. Also, I don't want to share you again! How dare you go out and get a girlfriend just because you're scared of hanging out with a queer. You're parents are fine with you so why even care about what others might think?" By the time I got through speaking, I was fuming. He seemed to be frustrated with my ranting but at the moment I didn't give a damn because he's being just plain stupid!
"Wade, look at what happened to you—"I cut him off, I wouldn't hear the end of that sentence.
"Robbie, I'm half you're size! I bet you could take on Austin, Aaron and Cody put together don't even use that lame excuse." He sighed heavily and his shoulders sagged, he looked like a man who had been defeated. A feeling of dread swept over me at whatever he was thinking and what he was about to say.
"That's just it Wade, I don't want to have to fight all the damn time, I don't want to be looking over my shoulder every time. That isn't living life, it's nothing but fearing it and I want to have fun, I want to be surrounded by people. What if we break up down the road, what would I have then? You and my parents just aren't enough, I'm sorry." Tears made their way to my eyes and it felt as if I were being suffocated. He made his choice and now he had to live with the consequences.
"Fine, if that's the way you want it, but I don't want to be a secret Robbie. I want the whole world to know you're mine and I don't want to share you. I get that you want to stay hidden in the closet because you're content there. I'm out though and being ignored by you again is not what I want so I guess were through." He looked as if he were about to blow a casket.
"Do you know how selfish you sounded just now? You want me to choose between having a life and loosing you? You've changed Wade and after having this conversation I don't know what I ever saw in you." Before I could even get another word in he stood up and walked out. His words rang in my head, was I being selfish? I couldn't dwell on the situation at hand because there was a knock on the door and thinking it was mom of course I said,
"Come in." To my surprise, Dane and Austin entered the room with McDonald bags.