Author's Note:
Ok, this chapter might sound a little familiar. It's basically part of "Not Meant to Be" but through Jason's perspective. If you have a chance, you might want to go revisit "Not Meant to Be."
We finally made it. Shout out to you all.
If you have any comments or suggestions, I would love to hear them, so write damn it.
Send them to me at K_Magic@Prodigy.Net
Disclaimer... This is a fictional story between a fictional character and Members of NSYNC. This in no way implies anything about the sexuality or any thing else of the members of NSYNC. This is all fiction.
So... Here we go one more time...everybody's feeling fine...here we go now.....
--------------- Chapter Nine ---------------
I rolled over and covered my head with the blankets.
"Don't even try it Lance."
"Try what?"
"Drop the innocent act blond boy, I heard you already. I state again...DON'T EVEN TRY IT."
I glance at the clock.
"It's 8 am, what the hell are you doing up so early and what got into your head that you think you were going to do something to me with ice."
"I was just going to have some fun," he said crawling into bed and spooning up against me.
The next thing I knew, there was a pair of freezing cold hands fondling my balls.
"Fuck." I yelled jumping out of bed and glaring down at him, he was just smiling back at me with this amazing sparkle in his eyes.
"I see I'm not the only one with an ice fetish."
I looked at him funny as his eyes casted down my body and nodding his head. I followed his glance and then realized I was standing there with a hardon pointing straight up. I jumped back on the bed and on top of him.
"I never said I didn't"
I started to kiss him. As he placed his cold hands on my ass cheeks and squeezed, I broke our kiss. He started to remove his t-shirt and shorts.
"Down boy...I'm going back to sleep for another 2 hours. If you care to join me your welcome to it, but if you're thinking somethings else... you might as well hit the shower and lather up your hand cause it's not happening.
"Ahhh come on Jay...please..."
"Nope, I'm tired...the end..." I said as I crawled back under the covers and rolled onto my side.
"Ok...I'll join you....but I'm not liking it." he said as he got back into position and wrapped his arm around me. His hand went to my right nipple and started to pinch it.
"Lance, don't make me kick you out into the hall bare ass naked."
He sighed, but continued to do things to keep me awake for the next 2 hours...like kiss the back of my neck, blow in my ear, bite my earlobe, run his fingers over my skin barely touching it. We got up and I jumped in the shower and got ready.
"Jay, Kenny said to bring your bags over to his room before we head down. If you are going to bring Kyle up, you have to bring him to Kenny's room."
I grabbed my bags and took them over to Kenny's room while Lance got ready. At 11am, we met the guys and Kenny and headed down. When we got to the lobby, we could see a group a young girls outside the hotel trying to look in. Kenny ushered the guys to a conference room where they were going to have lunch and a meeting while I spent some time with my best friend.
Kenny came back to be my stand in boyfriend as the lobby door opened and Kyle stepped in.
"There he is" I said walking towards him
"Ky...Ky...damn it's been a while...you look great."
"Hey Jay...great to see you." He replied as he leaned in and hugged me.
"Ky this is Kenneth...Kenneth this is my best friend Kyle"
"Kyle, it's great to finally met you, I've heard so much about you." Kenny said lying through his teeth...he was pretty good at this.
They shook hands.
"It's nice to meet you too, I'm glad Jay finally found someone. Now, I just hope he can keep you."
I punched Kyle in the shoulder and we all laughed.
"So, you had to go out and find another K huh" Kyle said looking at me.
"What's he talking about Jay" Kenneth asked.
"Well we have always been close friend and we were always together. Everyone called us JK instead of Jason and Kyle." I told Kenny our childhood story.
"Yeah, now JK can stand for Jason and Kenneth."
"Please call me Kenny, and I don't think I could ever take your place. JK will always stand for Jason and Kyle." Damn he was good at this.
Kyle and I just smiled at what Kenny said.
"So, you never told me, what brings you to Sacramento and are those your groupies out front?" Kyle asked with a questioning look.
"No...NO...That's not for me. I had some free time and I had made plans to meet up with Kenny here, so I gave you a call to meet up with you. I wanted to see you and I'm not going to have any time to come home for Christmas, so this would be the only chance I had to get with you before the New Year. I tried to meet up with him in the Bay Area so I could see you yesterday, but I could break one of my shoots. So I had to fly into to meet him last night here."
"Oh Kenny, you a travelling man?"
"Yeah, you can say that. I'm a road manager for a band."
"Oh yeah, which one?"
"NSYNC"
As soon as Kenny said that, Kyle's face lit up.
"Ok now this is all making sense to me. The girls out front, the reason you could've met me in the bay area...Kenny and the NSYNC were in Oakland last night."
"Yep, we pulled in here about 12:30 last night and I had my man waiting for me when I entered my room."
Damn he was too good at this, he should be an actor.
"But Jay, why didn't you just fly into Oakland. You called me at 8 last night saying that you just got in."
"Well, Kenny was going to be busy and I figured you had plans, so I just flew into here. I've seen the guys in concert a few time already so I would have just been in the way."
"But you could have hung with me."
"Driving all the way from Oakland to San Jose then back to Oakland then on a bus to Sacramento, no thank you."
"You're never going to beleive this, but you wouldn't had have to drive to San Jose to see me last night. I was with my niece Kellie and guess where we were last night?"
"Don't tell me you were at he concert last night?"
"Yep."
"Damn, I wish I would have known. We really need to start talking a little more."
"Yeah, too bad I didn't know, I could have got you and your niece backstage passes to meet the guys." Kenny said smiling at Kyle.
"Kenny, do me a favor...Never mention that to my niece ok.
"Ok"
"So guys, where are we going to eat."
"Well it's just you and me for lunch, Kenny has to go meet with the group right now."
"Hey, I got an idea. All we're doing is meeting over lunch to go over tonight's show. Why don't you guys come with me and then Kyle can meet the guys. Is that Ok with you Kyle?"
"Please call me Ky, and yeah, that sounds cool."
"Ok, then let's go."
We followed Kenny through the lobby and down a hallway to the area where the conference rooms where and entered one. There was a buffet table set up and the guys were sitting at a table talking and eating their lunch. We walked up to the table.
"Hey guy" Kenny said.
"Hey Kenny" They all said together.
"Guys, you know Jason already." They all nodded and said "Hey" to me. I winked at them.
"I'd like you to meet Jason's best friend Kyle, Kyle this is JC, Justin, Chris, Joey and Lance."
Kyle shook each of their hands and said "It's nice to meet you all."
The last hand he shook was JC's. They were there, fozen in their handshake. I looked at JC and he had a strange look on his face and asked "You look real familiar to me, do I know you?" Still holding onto Kyle's hand.
He released Kyle's hand and Kyle was staring into Josh's eyes. There was a moment of silence as Kyle shook his head and broke the stare and said "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"It's just that I've seen you somewhere before, I just can't remember where."
Everyone at the table was staring at them and then Kenny spoke up.
"Well maybe you saw him last night, he was at the concert with his niece."
JC slammed his hand down on the table.
"I knew it, I knew I saw you somewhere before...You were sitting behind the platform with the cameras. Right...Right..."
"Yeah, that's where I was...from what my niece said, right behind your Mom and Brother and" as he pointed to Joey.."your Dad, I beleive".
"He's the guy I was telling you about. The one that was just sitting down while everyone else in the audience was up."
"Yeah, that was me, stupid me sitting down getting kneed in the head by the girl behind me and elbowed in the head by my niece next to me."
Justin spoke up then..."Why weren't you groovin to our tunes man?"
"I don't know, I was kinda pissed cause you didn't do Giddy up and Everything I Own. Just kiddin. But I wish you would have done those two, I like them."
"And what's wrong with the other songs?" Joey asked.
"Nothing...Nothing...those two just have a more grown up appeal."
"Come on guys, cut him a break."
"It's Ok Kenny, I can handle it." Kyle replied smiling at Kenny.
"Sorry Kyle, we didn't mean to gang up on you." Lance said with that crooked grin that made my heart melt.
"Hey no problem here." Kyle said looking between Lance and I for some reason...Damn did he suspect something.
"Cool, why don't you guys grab and plate and come join us." Chris added.
Kyle, Kenny and I grabbed some food and joined the group at the table. We sat there eating our lunch and talking about various things. After a while, Kyle asked where the restroom was.
"I'll show you, I have to head there myself." JC said.
The two of them left and the table got quiet.
"Shit, did you see Josh." Justin said breaking the silence.
"But Kyle's not gay right." Lance said looking at me.
I shook my head realizing what they were thinking.
"Come on...you don't think that Josh has a thing for Kyle do you... he just met him."
As I said this I looked at each of the guys and they all avoided looking at me.
"You didn't hear him last night Jay...after the show he was back to being Josh...but all he could do was talk about this guy he saw...Kyle...He had this sparkle in his eye and he was talking a mile a minute."
"Lance is right, Jay, on the ride here we had Josh back." Joey added.
"He was so excited, we were all tired and trying to sleep...but he kept us up talking." Chris was shaking his head looking down at his plate as he moved a piece of food around with his fork.
"Damn" Justin said as he slammed his hand down on the table and covering his eyes with his other hand.
Under the table, Lance grabbed my leg and squeezed, but yanked it away really fast and Kyle entered the room and walked really fast up to me. He looked shaken and started to talk really fast.
"We need to talk...NOW. Let's head up to your room. Guy's it was nice meeting all of you. Kenny, I'll see you later. Please give my regards to JC."
We left the room and headed to the elevotor.
"What's up" I asked.
"Wait until we get to the room, ok"
When we got to our floor, I lead him to Kenny's room, I sat down on the bed and watched him pace back and forth in front of me.
"Ok talk"
"Jay....He....I....We....I'm so confused....Jen...I love Jen...I..." He said so fast I could barely understand him. He sat down on the bed next to me and covered his face.
"Ok it's all so clear to me now, thanks for the details...What the hell are you babbling about Ky."
"We kissed."
"Who kissed?"
"We did...in the bathroom...me and JC....I'm not gay...I can't be gay... I love Jen."
"Holy shit...you and JC.
"We were talking, I looked into his eyes, he leaned in and kissed me, I kissed him back...shit what was I thinking...I let a man kiss me... I kissed a man...What the hell is wrong with me."
"Hey Ky, there is nothing wrong with you, it was just a kiss. It's not like you guys riped each others clothes off and had a fuck fest in the restroom. It was just a kiss." I was smiling inside knowing that I maybe seeing the real Kyle for the first time. He had helped me through so much, now it was my turn to help him.
"You're not making me feel any better Jay. What am I going to do."
Just then there was a knock on the door. I got up and walked to the door and opened it and there was Josh. I let him in and smiled at him. He just walked past me. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze it to show my support. As I removed my hand he called out Kyle's name. Kyle looked up and turned as white as a ghost
"Kyle, can we talk...alone."
I knew this talk had to happen but I looked at Kyle and he looked like a little kid waiting outside the principal office. His mouth was slightly open and he was kind of shaking his head no. His eyes were pleading with me not to leave.
"I have to go find Kenny, I'll catch you in a bit Ky." I said grinning at him and walked out the door. I knew if he had the chance later he would kill me, but what the hell. I wanted to see what Kyle was really made of. I spent all those years putting moves on him and he goes and kisses Josh.
I jumped back into the elevator and headed back to the conference room. I walked up to the table and the guys were all looking at me.
"What's up guys." I said as if everything was normal.
Lance grabbed my hand and pulled me down next to him.
"Don't give us that crap Jay...spill it."
"What?" I said with an evil grin on my face.
"What...What....all we know is that your friend Kyle comes running back from the bathroom in a panic and pulls you out of the room. A few seconds later, Josh comes running into the room looking like his dog just got hit by a car, then asked where Kyle was. When we told him, he took off running out the room saying "Fuck" over and over again. Now tell us what is up."
I smiled at Justin as he finished his summation.
"What do you think happened in there?"
"Ahhhhh....Lance I swear...I'm going to kill your boyfriend if he doesn't stop playing around."
"Come on Jay, Joey's right..stop playin...tell us what happened."
Lance was looking at me with hurt in his eye.
"Ok...ok....All I know is that they were talking in the bathroom and one thing lead to another and they kissed. Kyle bolted and now they are in Kenny's room talking...Hey where did Kenny go anyways."
"Never mind were Kenny went....I thought you said that Kyle wasn't gay."
"True Chris, I did say that and I still believe he is staight."
"Then why would they kiss, I wouldn't kiss a guy."
"I don't know Justin, I'm not Kyle. But I'll go up there in a little bit and see what's going on...Just give them some time to talk."
I was able to get them talking about the trip to New York tomorrow, it wasn't easy to keep the conversation off what had just happened. after about 10 minutes, Kenny came back in the room.
"What's going on guys, where's Josh and Kyle?"
Kenny got silence from everyone.
"Ok...sorry I asked."
Kenny sat down and started going over some stuff for tonight's show. I got up.
"Do you want me to go with you."
"No, Lance...let me handle this."
I went upstairs and went up to the door, I kind of put my ear up to it and could hear sounds that I never expected to hear thru the door. I sat down and leaned against the wall, opposite of the door and waited. About 15 minutes later, the door opened and Josh walked out. He had tears in his eyes and he looked a little pale. I got up and put my arm on his shoulder.
"So what's the word Stud."
He just shook his head and walked towards the elevator.
"I'll talk to you later Jay...I promise...I just need to be alone right now."
He entered the elevator and the doors closed. I opened the door to Kenny's room and entered. I could hear the shower running so I sat down on the bed.
The shower stopped and in about a minute, Kyle exited the bathroom door wearing just a pair of boxers. He looked at me and I smiled back at him. He walked over to the chair near the window, sat down and covered his face with his hands.
"Jay...What the fuck is wrong with me...I have a women that I love and is stupid enough to love me back. Then I meet this guy and boom...I'm doing things that I never even thought about doing... Help me Jay."
I got up and walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder.
"Ky...do you love him? Do you love the feeling of being with him? Do you love his scent? Did his touch make you feel like your heart would explode? When you looked into his eyes did time lose all meaning? When you kissed, did your whole body quiver down to your soul?"
He uncovered his face and looked up at me, I smiled down at him.
"Well, then follow your heart."
"I can't, it belongs to Jen."
"Then you know what you have to do."
"What"
"Get in your car and drive away...You lived a little, you learned a little, you loved a little, now go home and be Kyle."
"I don't know who that is any more."
"That my dear boy, you are going to have to figure out all on your own."
I kissed him on the forehead and patted him on the shoulders.
"Come on...I'll walk you down to your car. It's getting late and you have a date tonight, so get dressed and we'll get you on your way."
He got dressed and as we were walking out the door, Kenny exited the elevator and walked up to us.
He handed Kyle an envelope.
"JC told me to give this to you, Are you leaving now?"
"Yeah, I got to get on the road to beat the traffic back to SJ."
Kenny lean over and gave Kyle a hug.
"It was great meeting you and I wish we could have spent more time together. Hopefully in the future, we will be able to spend some quality time together to get to know each other better."
"I would love that, thanks Kenny"
Kenny kissed me on the cheek and entered the room. Damn was he good at this.
"I like him Jay, he's a keeper."
"Yeah, I think so too." Looking down and crossing my finger behind my back.
"I'm sorry I didn't spend a whole lot of time with you today, I miss you a lot."
"No problem, Ky. I just need to see your face every so often to remind me of home. Just keep e-mailing me...I hope coming up to see me hasn't totally screwed up your life. Sleep on it. It will be clearer after some sleep. If you need to talk, give me a call on my cell."
We said our good byes and when the vallet brought his car around, He got in and drove off. I went back into the hotel and went to go find Josh.
I found the guys all in our room with Lance, minus Josh.
"Hey guys, where's Josh?" I said sitting down next to Lance on our bed and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"He's in his room...door's locked and he's not opening it for anyone."
"Thanks Justin....I'll be back."
"Wait Jay, what's going on...Josh wouldn't tell us anything, he just stared at us with tears in his eye, handed Kenny a note, told him to give it to Kyle and then ran out of the room. We followed him but lost him in the hotel. After about 20 minutes we came upstairs, he was in his room but he wouldn't open his door...come on Jay...we're worried...tell us."
"Sorry Chris, you will just have to wait until Josh feels he is up to telling you...it's not my place...I'll be back."
I got up and walked out the door and down to Josh's room. I knocked lightly on the door.
"Josh...it's Jay...open up...please...I want to talk to you."
There wasn't a sound coming from the room. I put my ear up to the door and I could just make out the sound of someone crying. I knocked again.
"Please Josh...open up....please."
I waited another minute and then I heard the door knob move, but the door didn't open. I pushed on the door and it opened. Inside the room was dark. The light from the hallway entered the room and I could see Josh standing there staring at me, eyes red and tears streaming down his cheeks. The sight broke my heart. As the door closed behind me, I turned on the light to the entry way. I walked over to him and gathered him into my arms and hugged him tight.
"I'm sorry Josh....I'm so so sorry."
He started to sob and held onto me tight. I just held him, slightly swaying...almost doing a dance...a fucked up, broken hearted dance. I placed my hand on the back of his head and kissed him on the cheek.
"Do you feel like talking now."
He nodded and I broke our hug and walked him over to the bed and pushed him down on the bed into a laying position. I laid down next to him and waited. After about 2 minutes he broke the silence.
"I don't get it...I just don't understand it...."
I laid there and waited for him to continue, just looking up at the ceiling.
"I wanted everything to go slow, I wasn't ready for any of this... I wanted to take my time and get to know the person first and have my first time with a guy be special...to love each other first... I did this with Scott and he bolted....Then I meet this great guy that I knew I could love before I met him and when I did meet him, I jumped at the chance and we gave each other something that neither of have experience before...before we even knew each other for an hour...and he bolts..."
"Josh...you've got to understand...this is new to Kyle...he has, up to this point, lived his life knowing who he was and what was in store for him in life. He was just struck by lighting and now has to sit down and figure out who he is."
Silence...
"Do you love him Josh."
"I could....I think I do...I don't know...I want to get to know him...I told him to come back tonight...to get to know me and then make up his mind."
"What did he say."
"He said he would...if his heart could convince his mind to do it."
"Josh...Please don't get your hopes up...I've known Kyle most of my life. He has a hard time listening to his heart. He has built walls around his heart and he doesn't let much in or out."
"Jay...can you leave me alone...I need to think some stuff through by myself."
I rolled over and wiped the tears off his face with the back of my fingers.
"Sure Josh...remember...you have a show in a few hours. Try to put yourself together...for the fans. Thing will work out, you'll see."
I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
"If you need me, give me a call...ok."
He nodded and closed his eyes. I got up and walked out of his room and returned to mine. The guys had all left to take short naps before the show and Lance was laying on the bed waiting for me. I laided down next to him.
"So are you going to tell me, or do I have to wait for the book."
"Sorry blondie, you're going to have to wait until Josh is ready."
"Whatever."
"Ok...I really don't need this shit Lance, if you really want to know...why don't you walk your ass down to Josh's room and see if he will tell you."
I got up and walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. I jumped up onto the sink and there was a knock at the door.
"Jay...I'm sorry...I didn't mean it to sound like that...I'm just worried about Josh."
"You know the door isn't locked."
The door opened and Lance walked in and over to me. He spread my legs apart and stood inbetween them. He wrapped his arms around my body and put his head against my chest and hugged me.
"Am I forgiven."
"No."
"How can I make it up to you."
"Promise that you will butt out until Josh is ready to talk."
"Ok."
"And promise to be my slave again."
He looked up at me and smiled.
"Name the day."
I smiled down at him and leaned down and kissed him.
"Let's go take a nap."
I nodded my head and jumped off the counter and followed him to the bed. We crawled in and fell asleep in each other's arms.
We got up about 5pm and got ready and headed out to the concert. Josh was the last one out of his room. He didn't look at anyone. He kept his head down and took up the rear position. The elevator ride and the limo ride were silent. Everyone respected Josh's feelings and let him have his space. The concert was great as usual. Josh has a way of separating his personal life from his stage performance. From watching him, you couldn't tell that his life was falling apart. After the show, he returned to his shell and hid from life. They all took a quick shower and we left the arena. When we got back to the hotel, everyone just went to their rooms. No one wanted to deal with life, they all just wanted to go to bed and hope that everything returned to normal tomorrow. Lance and I got to our room and I closed the door.
"Now that was an experience I don't want to live through again."
"I know, man your friend really did a job on Josh. I say we never let any of your friend near Josh ever again."
I grabbed him and kissed him.
"You should be glad they pay you to sing, cause your comedy really stinks."
He smiled at me and pulled away.
"Hey Jay, I have to go take care of some stuff down stairs. Grab a shower while I'm gone and I'll meet you in bed."
I pulled him back into a kiss.
"Don't take too long Mr Bass."
"Be back in a flash...Mr Martin."
He headed out the door and I headed off to the shower. I finished up and laid down in bed. I started to get worried after about 20 minutes and he hadn't returned. Just then, my pager went off. I got up and grabbed it out of my pants.
The page was the number 600. I sat there looking at it with a questioning look, then I remembered what a code 600 was. I quickly got dressed and grabbed all my stuff and headed down to Kenny's room. I knocked on Kenny's door. After about 2 minutes, he answered and he wasn't happy.
"What the fuck is going on Jay."
"I don't know, I got a 600 page, it wasn't you."
"No, I've been asleep for about 20 minutes now, come on in."
I entered Kenny's room.
"Well then I must have been Lance...and he better have a good explaination for it."
"I'm sure he does, you trust him right."
"Yes...I do...I guess I will just crash on your couch until he either comes and gets me or until the morning. Is that ok with you."
"Like you have to ask, remember, you're my boyfriend. And you are welcome to join me on the bed...I don't bite."
"Thanks" I said walking over to the other side of the bed and crawling in.
"Don't worry, Lance will have a good explaination. Trust him Jay."
Kenny reach over and turned off the light.
"I do trust him."
As I said this, I felt a jump in my heart and I realized I did trust him. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.