----------------------------- Not Meant to Be - Chapter Two -----------------------------
I pulled up to the hotel and in the front there seemed to be a crowd of people just standing around. I gave the attendant my keys and asked "What's up?"
He replied "You don't want to know" then jumped in my car and took off.
I pushed my way through the crowd and entered the lobby. I kinda looked back and then it hit me, they were all young girls. Just then I heard my name being called.
"Ky..Ky...Damn it's been a while...you look great."
"Hey Jay...great to see you." I replied as I leaned in and hugged him.
"Ky this is Kenneth...Kenneth this is my best friend Kyle"
I looked away from Jason and saw who I was being introduced too. Kenneth was about the same age as Jason and I. About my height, 5'10" with a slim build with blond hair and blue eyes. He was a perfect match for Jason's sleek 6'1" frame and brown hair and green eyes.
"Kyle, it's great to finally met you, I've heard so much about you."
I shook his hand and replied.
"It's nice to meet you too, I'm glad Jay finally found someone. Now, I just hope he can keep you."
Jason punched me in the shoulder and we all laughed.
"So, you had to go out and find another K huh"
"What's he talking about Jay" Kenneth asked.
"Well we have always been close friend and we were always together. Everyone called us JK instead of Jason and Kyle."
"Yeah, now JK can stand for Jason and Kenneth."
"Please call me Kenny, and I don't think I could ever take your place. JK will always stand for Jason and Kyle."
Jason and I just smiled at Kenny's gesture.
"So, you never told me, what brings you to Sacramento and are those your groupies out front?"
"No...NO...That's not for me. I had some free time and I had made plans to meet up with Kenny here, so I gave you a call to meet up with you. I wanted to see you and I'm not going to have any time to come home for Christmas, so this would be the only chance I had to get with you before the New Year. I tried to meet up with him in the Bay Area so I could see you yesterday, but I could break one of my shoots. So I had to fly into to meet him last night here."
"Oh Kenny, you a travelling man?"
"Yeah, you can say that. I'm a road manager for a band."
"Oh yeah, which one?"
"NSYNC"
"Ok now this is all making sense to me. The girls out front, the reason you could've met me in the bay area...Kenny and the NSYNC were in Oakland last night."
"Yep, we pulled in here about 12:30 last night and I had my man waiting for me when I entered my room."
"But Jay, why didn't you just fly into Oakland. You called me at 8 last night saying that you just got in."
"Well, Kenny was going to be busy and I figured you had plans, so I just flew into here. I've seen the guys in concert a few time already so I would have just been in the way."
"But you could have hung with me."
"Driving all the way from Oaklant to San Jose then back to Oakland then on a bus to Sacramento, no thank you."
"You're never going to beleive this, but you wouldn't had have to drive to San Jose to see me last night. I was with my niece Kellie and guess where we were last night?"
"Don't tell me you were at he concert last night?"
"Yep."
"Damn, I wish I would have known. We really need to start talking a little more."
"Yeah, too bad I didn't know, I could have got you and your niece backstage passes to meet the guys."
"Kenny, do me a favor...Never mention that to my niece ok.
"Ok"
"So guys, where are we going to eat."
"Well it's just you and me for lunch, Kenny has to go meet with the group right now."
"Hey, I got an idea. All we're doing is meeting over lunch to go over tonight's show. Why don't you guys come with me and then Kyle can meet the guys. Is that Ok with you Kyle?"
"Please call me Ky, and yeah, that sounds cool."
"Ok, then let's go."
We followed Kenny through the lobby and down a hallway to the area where the conference rooms where and entered one. There was a buffet table set up and a table with the five guys that make up NSYNC talking and eating their lunch. We walked up to the table.
"Hey guy"
"Hey Kenny" They all said together.
"Guys, you know Jason already." They all nodded and said "Hey" to Jason.
"I'd like you to meet Jason's best friend Kyle, Kyle this is JC, Justin, Chris, Joey and Lance."
I reached out to shake each of their hands and said "It's nice to meet you all."
The last hand I shook was JC's. He held my hand longer than was comfortable and I looked at him. He had a strange look on his face and asked "You look real familiar to me, do I know you?"
He released my hand and I stared into his deep blue eyes. He caught me off guard and I just stood there looking into his eyes. I shook my head to break the stare and said "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"It's just that I've seen you somewhere before, I just can't remember where."
Everyone at the table was staring at us and then Kenny spoke up.
"Well maybe you saw him last night, he was at the concert with his niece."
JC slammed his hand down on the table.
"I knew it, I knew I saw you somewhere before...You were sitting behind the platform with the cameras. Right...Right..."
"Yeah, that's where I was...from what my niece said, right behind your Mom and Brother and" as I pointed to Joey.."your Dad, I beleive".
"He's the guy I was telling you about. The one that was just sitting down while everyone else in the audience was up."
"Yeah, that was me, stupid me sitting down getting kneed in the head by the girl behind me and elbowed in the head by my niece next to me."
Justin spoke up then..."Why weren't you groovin to our tunes man?"
"I don't know, I was kinda pissed cause you didn't do Giddy up and Everything I Own. Just kiddin. But I wish you would have done those two, I like them."
"And what's wrong with the other songs?" Joey asked.
"Nothing...Nothing...those two just have a more grown up appeal."
"Come on guys, cut him a break."
"It's Ok Kenny, I can handle it."
"Sorry Kyle, we didn't mean to gang up on you." Lance said with a crooked grin.
"Hey no problem here." I was wrong, I could picture Jay with Lance, not Justin as I had thought before.
"Cool, why don't you guys grab and plate and come join us." Chris added.
Jason, Kenny and I grabbed some food and joined the group at the table. We sat there eating our lunch and talking about various things. After a while, I asked where the restroom was.
"I'll show you, I have to head there myself." JC said.
I got up and followed him to the restroom. While washing our hands after, JC said, "Hey that's a cool necklace, what does it mean."
"It's a chinese symbol for Dragon. Jay bought it for me while he was in China. I was born under the lunar symbol of the dragon. Hey from what my niece tells me, so are you. 1976 right."
"Yeah."
"2000 is our year. Just think, it's new millinnium and its our year to shine...Hey your necklace is cool too...Leo right."
"Right, August 8th."
"I was suppose to be a Leo too, but I was born 13 minute too late. My mom says I was just a big pain and would come out. So I was born August 23rd which makes me a Virgo by thirteen minutes. Good thing cause Leos are talented and artistic and I am neither...Boy, a Leo born during the year of the Dragon. I would hate to mess with you, you were born under signs with power and strength."
I was looking straight into JC's eyes, they were so intense I just stopped talking. He came closer to me and leaned in and was kissing me on the lips. I stood there with my eyes wide open totally confused. Before I knew what was happening, I had closed my eyes and kissed him back. After a few second, I broke the kiss and looked at him.
"I....I...."
I couldn't talk, I just ran out of the bathroom. I walked quickly to the table and pulled Jason up.
"We need to talk...NOW. Let's head up to your room. Guy's it was nice meeting all of you. Kenny, I'll see you later. Please give my regards to JC."
We left the room and I followed Jason to the elevotor.
"What's up"
"Wait until we get to the room, ok"
When we got to his room, he sat down on his bed and watched me pace back and forth in front of him.
"Ok talk"
"Jay....He....I....We....I'm so confused....Jen...I love Jen...I..." I sat down on the bed next to him and covered my face.
"Ok it's all so clear to me now, thanks for the details...What the hell are you babbling about Ky."
"We kissed."
"Who kissed?"
"We did...in the bathroom...me and JC....I'm not gay...I can't be gay...I love Jen."
"Holy shit...you and JC.
"We were talking, I looked into his eyes, he leaned in and kissed me, I kissed him back...shit what was I thinking...I let a man kiss me...I kissed a man...What the hell is wrong with me."
"Hey Ky, there is nothing wrong with you, it was just a kiss. It's not like you guys riped each others clothes off and had a fuck fest in the restroom. It was just a kiss."
"You're not making me feel any better Jay. What am I going to do."
"Just then there was a knock on the door. Jason got up and walked to the door and opened it. I wasn't paying attention to who was at the door but then I heard my name being called. I looked up and it was JC.
"Kyle, can we talk...alone."
I looked at Jason, pleading with my eyes for him not to leave.
"I have to go find Kenny, I'll catch you in a bit Ky."
Then he grinned at me and walked out the door. Fuck I hated him for that. JC came over to the bed and sat down.
"Kyle, I sorry...I..."
"JC, please I just want to tell you that I am not gay. I just don't know what came over me...I have a girlfriend that I love....I just don't know what happened...I am so confused right now."
"Kyle, please call me Josh. I just want to apologize for what I did in the bathroom. It was way out of line and I'm sorry. I just...I remember seeing you in the audience last night and I just got a feeling about you. I saw you for a few minutes and I memorized your face. I thought about it all last night. When I saw you downstairs...when I shook you hand...I felt something...in my heart...When you looked in my eyes in the bathroom...I just couldn't help myself...Please forgive me..."
"Josh, don't appologize...It's not your fault...I...I don't know what to say...I' not saying that I didn't feel something when we shook hand, I think I did too...I just don't get it...I'm not gay...I've never been attracted to men...Shoot, I've had this gorgeous gay guy as my friend for almost 15 years now. I think I would have known if I was attracted to men at least a little...I just don't get it...I..."
I couldn't finish my thought. I just covered my face and started to cry. Josh sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me.
"Please don't cry, Kyle. It was just a feeling, it doesn't mean your gay or you don't love your girlfriend. It was just...I don't know how to explain it, I don't get it either, but to me...it just feels so right."
Josh broke the hug and lifted my head up to look him in the eye.
"I'm just so sorry Kyle...I wish....
But before he could finish, I leaned in and started to kiss him. I was kissing a man for the second time in my life. The second time in the same day...The second time in the last 20 minutes. And it felt right. I wasn't thinking about Jen, I wasn't thinking period. It was like my heart took over for my mind and I was free.
Josh and I were kissing deeply, tongues intertwined. I leaned back, laying down on the bed. I felt Josh's hand carressing my inner thigh and then move up and started to rub my crotch. My cock responded quickly. I moaned in our kiss as he undid the button on my pants and slipped his hand into my boxers. I felt him carressing my cock and my hand slipped into his shirt. I was feeling a man's body, a man's chest, Josh's smooth defined chest. And every inch of his body I felt, made my cock pulse harder and harder.
Josh pulled his hand off my dick and unbuttoned my shirt and opened it up. He started to rub up and down my chest and stomach. He broke our kiss and look me in the eye.
"Are you Ok with this..."
I looked deeply into his intense blue eyes and I was lost...I could think... I couldn't talk...my head just nodded yes. He started to kiss my neck. Then he kissed down to my right nipple and flicked his tongue accross it a few times the moved to the left one. As he worked his way down to my belly button, I felt him pull my pants down to my ankles, followed by my boxers. He grabbed my cock and was stroking it with one hand while his other was carressing my chest. All I could do was lay there and moan. The next thing I knew, Josh was licking up and down my cock and before I could moan one more time. He had swallowed it to the base. My hands moved immediately to the back of Josh's head and started to push it up and down, while my pelvis was thrusting up. I was fucking his mouth hard and he was taking it. His hand was still rubbing up and down my chest.
I kept repeating "Oh Josh...Oh Josh...." over and over again. I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed his head down and yelled "I'm Cumming...."
I shot my load down Josh's throat and he swallowed it all. My hand released the back of his head and he continued his assult on my cock. After he milked every bit of cum out, he started kissing he way up my body and then started to kiss me. My mind cleared a little. I was there kissing a man... a man who had just sucked the cum out of my cock...and it felt...and it felt ...so right.
I stopped the kiss and he opened his eyes and looked at me.
"Are you ok?"
"yeah, I'm fine" I was breathing hard and I closed my eyes.
"Josh I only going to say this once. I will not repeat it...I don't think I could...Josh, please make love to me."
"Are you sure?"
"I can't ask you again, please do it...now."
"We don't have any protection."
I opened my eyes and looked into his eyes. They were so caring and loving.
"Look in the case on the night stand, it's Jays and what we need is probably in there."
I closed my eyes, trying to keep my mind out of what I was doing. If I thought about it, it would be over. Josh unzipped the case and found what we needed. I felt him move off the bed and I opened my eyes. Josh was getting undressed. After he removed his shirt, he looked down at me. I was just staring into his eyes, lost while he removed his pants and boxers. He then grabbed my pants and pulled them off and crawled back onto the bed next to me. I was still looking into his eyes.
"Are you sure?"
I just nodded. Josh slipped on the condom and positioned himself between my legs. He lifted my legs up onto his shoulders and spread some lube on my hole. The moment his fingers touched my hole, my mind woke up. What the fuck was I thinking. I was laying here and I was letting this man do something to me that I never in my wildest dreams would even think about doing. Josh noticed a change in my face and stopped what he was doing and leaned down and started to kiss me. The moment his lips touched mine, my brain switched back to knowing that I wanted this, I needed this from Josh and only Josh. He broke the kiss and looked me in the eye.
"Ready?"
I nodded and I felt the tip of Josh's cock at my virgin hole. He leaned into me and the tip of his cock started its journey in.
"Push out" he instructed me. I did what he said and I opened up and his cock slipped all the way in.
"Fuck...Fuck..." I said through clenched teeth as the pain hit me. He stoppped and we just laid their conencted.
"It will ease up in a little while, just relax."
He was right, the pain disappeared. I opened my eyes and looked into his and nodded. Josh started to slowly withdrawl, then push back in. There was no more pain...there was only a feeling that I had never felt before... the feeling of complete satisfaction. My cock was rock hard again and Josh was pumping in and out of me breathing really loud. My eyes closed as I tried to grab the blankets under me. I finally got a grip on the blankets and was squeezing them with all my might. I opened my eyes and Josh was staring straight into them. He leaned down and stuck his tongue into my open mouth. He gave a final thrust into me and threw his head back. I felt his cock spasm in me. I squeezed the blanket under me as tight as I could and came all over his chest and mine. After his orgasm stopped, Josh withdrew out of me and let my legs fall back to the bed. We were both breathing really hard.
"Are you Ok?"
"I'm fine Josh, thanks for asking."
He leaned down and kissed me.
"I'm sorry Kyle, I need to go get ready for the concert tonight."
I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands...My mind drifted to Jen...What did I just do....How could I do this to her.
"Shit"
Josh was laying next to me and he pulled my hands away from my face.
"Kyle, please look at me."
I opened my eyes and looked into his eyes. He had a slight grin on and he started to stroke my cheek with the back of his fingers.
"Kyle, I know you are confused and I will understand if you don't wish to take this any farther, but I just wanted you to know....I knew I loved you before I met you..."
"Savage Garden" I said as I closed my eyes. "And please call me Ky."
"Yeah, guilty. Sorry Ky, I just wanted you to know that even if your life takes you in a direction away from me...there will alway be a spot in my heart for you. I will never regret anything I've done here today...Even if it means that there is a great women somewhere whose life I may have destroyed."
"Josh, you don't even know me...You saw me once, the next day I was introduced to you and five minutes later after a short conversation about nothing... You're in love with me...Josh be real...None of this is real...It can't be...This isn't me."
I opened my eyes and got up and put on my boxers.
"Josh, I'm sorry...I..."
"Ky, please don't say anything right now...Please...get to know me. Come to the concert tonight and hang with me after. Just you and me...talking... getting to know each other. You might just learn that we are worth it, you and I.
"Josh...I can't...Jen...Shit...I have to be in San Jose at 6 to take Jen out to dinner. I have to get back to my real life. The one I want...the one I need."
"Ky, we will be here until tomorrow morning. Come back after your dinner... please, just come back to get to know me...Please."
"I have to clean up now Josh. If my heart can win over my mind, I will see you tonight. If not, thank you Josh. I have a memory that no one can ever take away from me. The memory that I gave away something here today to someone that truely loved me and that person gave me a feeling inside that I will treasure for the rest of my life."
I turned and walked into the bathroom.
"I love you Ky." was the last thing I heard before I entered the bathroom. Josh got dressed and left.
I showered and left the bathroom to get the rest of my clothes dressed in my boxers.
Jason was sitting on the bed with a great big smile on his face. I walked over to the chair near the window, sat down and covered my face.
"Jay...What the fuck is wrong with me...I have a women that I love and is stupid enough to love me back. Then I meet this guy and boom...I'm doing things that I never even thought about doing...Help me Jay."
Jason got up and walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Ky...do you love him? Do you love the feeling of being with him? Do you love his scent? Did his touch make you feel like your heart would explode? When you looked into his eyes did time lose all meaning? When you kissed, did your whole body quiver down to your soul?"
I uncovered my face and looked up at him. He smiled down at me then said "Well, then follow your heart."
"I can't, it belongs to Jen."
"Then you know what you have to do."
"What"
"Get in your car and drive away...You lived a little, you learned a little, you loved a little, now go home and be Kyle."
"I don't know who that is any more."
"That my dear boy, you are going to have to figure out all on your own."
He kissed my forehead and patted me on the shoulders.
"Come on...I'll walk you down to your car. It's getting late and you have a date tonight, so get dressed and we'll get you on your way."
I got dressed and as we were walking out the door, Kenny exited the elevator and walked up to us.
He handed me an envelope.
"JC told me to give this to you, Are you leaving now?"
"Yeah, I got to get on the road to beat the traffic back to SJ."
Kenny lean over and gave me a hug. It was great meeting you and I wish we could have spent more time together. Hopefully in the future, we will be able to spend some quality time together to get to know each other better."
"I would love that, thanks Kenny"
He kissed Jason on the cheek and entered the room.
"I like him Jay, he's a keeper."
"Yeah, I think so too."
"I'm sorry I didn't spend a whole lot of time with you today, I miss you a lot."
"No problem, Ky. I just need to see your face every so often to remind me of home. Just keep e-mailing me...I hope coming up to see me hasn't totally screwed up your life. Sleep on it. It will be clearer after some sleep. If you need to talk, give me a call on my cell."
We said our good byes and when the vallet brought my car around, I got in and drove off. Before I left the hotel parking lot, I pulled into a space and opened and read the letter.
Kyle,
I just wanted you to know that I do love you.
They say that the one person you are meant to be with in life only comes around once and everyone else is just a fill in. To me, that person came into my life today. To you, that maybe Jen. But I truely beleive in my heart that I am that person for you too.
If you feel the same way, I will be waiting for you in my hotel room, room 553, tonight. If you don't show up, I will know that your mind won over your heart and I wish you and Jen the best life has to offer.
Please know that the love I have for you is pure and I will never forget you as long as I live.
I love you and I hope to see you tonight.
With all my heart...Josh
I folded up the letter and placed it in my shirt pocket and drove off in a daze.
The next thing I know is that I'm sitting at home on my bed with the letter in my hand. I don't remember the drive home or anything between when I left the hotel and now.
I was brought back to my senses by the phone ringing.
"Hello"
"Hi babe, what time are you picking me up"
"Umm....what time is it?"
"It's 6:30"
"Oh shoot...Give me 20 minutes...I'll see you then."
"Ok...is anything wrong?"
"Umm no Hon...I'll see you in twenty..Ok"
"Ok..Love ya"
"Love you too"