In case you already got this chapter, this is the betad version of the chapter, hope everyone limes it! just some minor corrections and a few new things added in to forshadow chapter 3, which will be on its way soon!
Disclaimer - Everything here in is complete fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental. All situations are a product of the authors mind, and is not intended for those who do not like gay fiction, nor is it intended for those under age or where such material is not legal. Other wise, have fun and enjoy.
Author's Note at the bottom.
Nothing Worth Having is Ever Easy
Chapter 2: Everybody's Fool
Perfect by nature icons of self indulgence just what we all need more lies about a world that
never was and never will be have you no shame don't you see me you know you've got everybody fooled
look here she comes now bow down and stare in wonder oh how we love you no flaws when you're pretending but now I know she
never was and never will be you don't know how you've betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled
without the mask where will you hide can't find yourself lost in your lie
I know the truth now I know who you are and I don't love you anymore
it never was and never will be you don't know how you've betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled
it never was and never will be you're not real and you can't save me somehow now you're everybody's fool
"Everybody's Fool" ~ Evanescence
Until that day in Drawing class, I don't think I ever really noticed Ashton Ross. At least I don't think I ever paid enough attention to most people outside of my small group of friends to know more than he was that kid every one thought was gay. I mean Bobby Ray was always talking about "that fag in our class", but I never put two and two together.
Then when Bobby Ray made a big deal of being partners with the kid, I really got my first true look at him. Like I said, I knew who he was and when I saw him coming over to our table an image from freshman year popped into my head.
I had been walking with Bobby Ray, Taylor and Adam to the cafeteria and we passed by a bench, set off the walkway in between some trees. There was a boy there who looked like he was twelve and therefore had no business being in high school. He had brown hair that was parted in the middle and fell to his chin, framing his face. His eyes were hidden under dark sunglasses and he wore a plain white t-shirt with baggy jeans. You could tell he was thin even though he was sitting cross-legged on the bench, but it wasn't that sickly thin that makes you think of a nerd with big feet and thick glasses. He had a raggedy black backpack beside him and a notebook in his lap with a few sheets of paper he was writing one. I guess you would call him cute -- I don't know . . . I mean . . . I never thought of a guy like that before, you know? He just looked nice, totally lost in whatever it was he was writing, and actually peaceful.
Then Bobby Ray shouted, "Hey faggot! Ever thought about going and finding a whole to burry yourself in so us normal people don't have to see you?"
The kid didn't even look up but he scowled and did his best to ignore Bobby Ray. If there's one thing you have to give Bobby Ray credit for, he never gives up when he sets his sights on something and terrorizing this kid was (as I was to learn over the next couple of years) his favorite form of entertainment.
"Are you trying to act like I'm not here?" Bobby Ray asked. "You think if you ignore me, I'll go away? Think again!"
He snatched the kid's notebook and tossed it over his shoulder, the rest of our friends laughing with him as the papers inside scattered all over the cement.
"Have a nice day fairy!" Bobby Ray called over his shoulder, as he started moving again.
Bet you wonder what I did? Nothing. I smiled, pretending to laugh with my friends and went on my way. Bobby Ray and I met the first day of school, and he grafted himself to my side, proclaiming us best friends, which wasn't all that bad considering he seemed to be really popular with a lot of the cool kids, so I welcomed the friendship. And don't get me wrong, most of the time he can be a decent enough guy, its just he loves to pick on people smaller and (in his eyes) less significant in the world. It's the one thing about him I've never liked, and never had the guts to stand up to him on.
And unfortunately, Ash was one of those people.
Bobby Ray picked on him a lot and while I admit it bothered me, I ignored it and eventually forgot about it. But that day in Drawing there was something about the way Ash looked that made me look at him in a whole new way. Now, in the years between freshman and senior year, he's changed a lot, he grown up for one thing. He's only about 5'11", and he's still skinny, but his hair is cut short and for the first time I got to see his eyes, and I think that was what caught me.
They were like a deep blue rings surrounded by Jade, with a ring of yellow around the iris. They were weird because I'd never seen eyes like that. But there was something else about his eyes, something in the deep sadness I saw there, the loneliness that he was trying so hard to hide from the rest of us, as well as pain, and I noticed that most of our classmates only gave him a passing look.
After Mr. T started the class, Bobby Ray said to me, "I can't believe I'm stuck with the fag."
"Serves you right," said my girl friend Mandy. "After the way you've treated him since 7th grade, it just shows Karma is a bitch and she's coming for you now."
Taylor, Adam and I laughed but Bobby Ray flipped her off.
One of the things I love about her is that she may be a cheerleader, and she may be probably the most popular girl in school, but deep down, she was a sweet person, and she didn't like Bobby Ray. They both went to a different Middle School than me, so they'd known each other longer, and even dated during eighth grade.
Thankfully they broke up within a month and there are no lingering feelings there. Mandy and I started dating in the middle of sophomore year, and have been a strong couple since. We haven't had sex yet and we've made out a handful of times, but neither of us is really into that. Seems kind of weird really because all my friends have been bragging for years about the piece of ass they got over the weekend, yet Mandy and I never wanted to do it. Her excuse was that she wanted to wait for marriage, which I agreed with because that's what my parents had always told me to do. And if the rents say it's a good thing, ok, who am I to argue? The last thing I need is for my dad to get on my case for knocking Mandy up.
"Clay," Bobby Ray asked me, "can you get your balls back from your woman long enough to get her off my back?"
"Oh no you don't," Mandy said, covering my mouth with her hand. "Clay is going to stay out of this. He's going to sit right here and let me draw him. Speaking of which, you might want to get your partner's attention and get to work yourself."
I glanced at Ash, who had his headphones on again, and was ignoring us. He had this deep look of concentration on his face, and I could barely make out that he was listening to something loud and thumping on his headphones.
"Hey, FUCK SHIT!" Bobby Ray screamed and the class went silent.
Mr. T came over and started to reprimand him, but Bobby Ray pointed at Ash.
"He's ignoring me!" he said, thumping Ash on the shoulder.
Ash looked up and for a moment he had that dear in the headlights look, then it went blank like he put a mask on as he pulled his headphones off.
"Well Mr. Ross," said Mr. T, "you've made it so that no one in hear can enjoy the pleasure of music. Ignoring your partner and your assignment will not be tolerated."
There was a chorus of groans around the class as everyone realized that we couldn't listen to our own music. Mr. T was taking Bobby Ray's side, which wasn't fair because Ash didn't do anything wrong.
And speaking of Ash, there was a change in him that I didn't expect. His eyes clouded over and his face went bright red. I almost expected to see steam start shooting out his ears.
"Then maybe I shouldn't be in this class anymore," he said, shoving his CD player in his bag, followed by his notebook. "God knows I wouldn't want to be the kink in your smoothly running chain."
"Now see here Mr. Ross, I will not-" Mr. T started, but Ash cut him off.
"My name is Ash or Ashton, pick one. You say `Mr. Ross' and I look for my dad. You know everyone else's name but mine and I find that interesting. If the dumb jock doesn't want to work with me, as I'm sure no one else in here does, and I seem to cause such a problem, I just wont be here."
I watched this, shocked because I had never heard Ash speak before and I have to I didn't expect him to sound the way he did. I almost thought he would talk with a lisp and have a high pitched voice, you know, talk like one of the stereotypes you see on TV who sound completely stupid and so far gone into being a queen that there is no hope of ever saving them. But he didn't. He spoke in a pretty normal voice, maybe a little high, but it was pretty obvious it was still going through that change from boy to man. Every word came out perfectly pronounced and he looked and sounded like he was in complete control of himself.
Then he turned around and started for the door, which was another shock because I really didn't think he was going to leave. I guess I should have seen he would, but he didn't look like the kind of person to just walk out of a class in anger.
"Mr. Ross . . . I mean, Ashton! Come back here now!" Mr. T shouted, and Ash stopped to look over his shoulder.
"Why?" he asked. "What's the point? I'm not wanted in this class, let alone their school. Fuck it, I don't need this, I can get the credit in night school. At least there I'll be invisible for a real reason, because no one will know me, not because of some stupid rumor that's been spread since the 7th fucking grade!" He glared at some of our classmates, including me and I noticed Mandy and Adam looked away from him when he looked our way.
"I don't need it," he said, "I don't deserve it, and I wont take it anymore. Fuck all of you."
Then he walked out, leaving Mr. T and the rest of us stunned as he slammed the door behind him. What I found to be the strangest part was that I wanted to go after him. Don't ask me why, but something inside was urging me to go and . . . I don't know. Comfort him maybe? Try and get him to see that he was wanted, that I at least wanted him around. Which surprised me, because I really felt like I wanted to know him now more than ever. Something about him called to me even though I could place or explain it.
I didn't though because it was an absurd idea, and Ash stayed in my mind the rest of the day. Bobby Ray was pissed off at him because he left, but I was starting to see how much of an ass Bobby Ray was and I found I really didn't like it.
After school I saw Ash walking through the quad and he had his headphones on again with that mask of indifference on as though he didn't care about the rest of the world. Bobby Ray was shouting at him, calling him all kinds of names, including "Pansy mother-fucker!" and I snapped hitting Bobby Ray upside the head and told him to shut up.
"What the fuck, Clay?" Bobby Ray said, looking at me scandalized.
The others around us were watching and I realized I had started something with him I had to finish.
"Just leave the guy alone," I said. "What's he done to you?"
I noticed Mandy out of the corner of my eye and she was smiling at me; that gave me courage to stand my ground.
"Dude! He's fag, that's plenty in my book," Bobby Ray said.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"Because he is. The first time I saw him I just new it."
"Again I ask, how do you know? I mean how can you tell?"
Bobby Ray was getting mad and he looked to the rest of our friends, more importantly those who went to the same middle school as him.
"Kyle, you remember what he was like in the locker room back in 7th grade, right?"
Kyle, a linebacker on the football team, took a step back, surprised to be singled out. I looked him in the eye and it was clear he had no idea what Bobby Ray was talking about. Frustrated, Bobby Ray turned to Adam. "Ok, you remember the way he walked don't you man? The way he wagged his hips back and forth? You remember right?"
Adam bit his lip. "Actually . . . I just remember you telling me about it."
Bobby Ray actually growled, clenching his fists, flexing the muscles of his arms and making the veins bulge.
"I think," Mandy said, "'thou does protest too much.'"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Bobby Ray snapped.
Mandy rolled her eyes. "It's Shakespeare you twit. It means someone who makes such a big deal about not liking something or some one, then that person is probably hiding that they actually do like that thing or person."
As it dawned on Bobby Ray what she was saying, he went from annoyed to pissed so fast it was hard to believe a second before he had been white, not the violent fire engine red he became. He was breathing hard and clenching his teeth.
"Oh fuck off all of you! Fucking queer lovers!" he screamed then took off for the parking lot.
"He is such an asshole." Mandy said when he was gone and there were murmurs of agreement through the group.
That night I had a dream and it was weird. I was in bed naked and Mandy was with me. Her body was light and her skin felt smooth as it rubbed across mine. It was too dark to see her, but I had my arms around her, my hand's tracing up and down her back and my legs rapped around her. She was moving over me and my dick was rubbing across her belly, sending shivers through my body. Then I noticed her breasts were really small -- which was even odder because Mandy has nice sized boobs. Then I felt full, like something was up my ass, but it didn't hurt. In fact it felt incredible! I felt complete, like the missing piece of me was there, that thing I had been missing all my life was in me, filling me then retracting, only to come back and fill me all over again. I wanted this to go on and on, to never end, not now, not ever.
Mandy thrust against me again and as I came I could see her face -- but it wasn't her! It was Ash! It was him who I was holding and he was fucking me, but it was so much more, he was making love to me, and as I felt him come, his whole body shuddered and I grabbed his ass, pulling him deeper into me as our climax's washed over us. Even though I knew this was all wrong, that we really shouldn't be doing this, at the same time it was all I wanted to do. I wanted him in me, I NEEDED him in me, and then he was looking down at me, his face flushed, and-
Then I woke up.
I was lying on my back with the covers thrown back, my legs spread wide and I had cum all over my stomach and chest. I was panting hard and my body was still shaking from the climax. I couldn't believe it actually because that was the first wet dream I had had in years.
After cleaning up, I tried to go back to sleep, but the dream kept playing itself over and over again in my mind. I had to jerk off two more times before my hard on went away, replaying the dream over and over again.
I was so confused, I didn't get back to sleep.
Author's Note: This story is going to be about 20 chapters in length, give or take a few, so it's going to be long. Also, I'm going to be switching points of view, probably only between Clay and Ash, but it may go to other characters. This fic is obviously going to be long, and aside from the end of this chapter, there isn't going to be sex for a while. If your looking for that, there is plenty elsewhere, but I don't like fics were they jump into bed together. I also don't like fics where there is no sex period, because lets face reality people, most teenagers (I speak from personal experience) have a lot of sex. To think teens don't is stupid, so if your patient, hopefully you won't be disappointed. This is the first piece I've published on the web, and I have several other stories I've written, but never put out there, because I'm a big chicken when it comes to my work and letting other people read it. Also those other fics aren't done, but they will be eventually.
That said, I'm working on stuff that I hope to have published one day, and that takes a lot of my time, but I will do my best to get a chapter of "Nothing Worth Having is Ever Easy" out at least once a week (I hope). I already have my best friend demanding the next chapter, so I will do my best.
Thanks to all of you who have emailed me, it means a lot to hear from you! Please drop me a note and let me know what you thought! And read "I Hate Anthony", "Around My Way", "The Log Way" and "Angst", they're all excellent stories! I'm hooked!
Thanks again to everyone who emailed me, and especially the Jersey Girl, Maddy! You are the best!!
~ D
P.S. Every chapter here on out is going to be named after a song, and have part of the lyrics or all of them, in the beginning.