OK Standard warning. If you ain't 18 years old or if it's illegal to read material that involves two men involved with each other you shouldn't continue. But on a side note why are you at Nifty in the first place. Also if you looking for a quick jerk off story you might want to grab a different story. OOK and on with the story
Nowhere
Chapter One
"Hey Blake.." I sighed as I fell into a sofa.
"Yeah" he replied as he collapsed
"I REFUSED TO MOVE EVER AGAIN!" I moaned.
"Yeah yeah whatever you better get rested `cause you got a date with Brandon from Bio remember? So get you ass in gear and get ready." said Blake.
"I hate men!!!" I whined as I stood up and started to drag my ass to the shower. I kept thinking about this whole Brandon thing. Yeah he's cute but like he has an IQ of 10. He's what I like to call arm jewelry. Pretty to have on your arm but other than that pretty useless. He's nice and all but well he's a bit of a prick when he wants to be. So as I'm getting out of the shower I begin to look through my closet for something comfortable. I know I should be looking for something that looks good but after spending a day hauling shit up three flights of stairs I could have put on a large garbage bag as long as it was comfortable. And if Brandon had a problem he could date Ms Rosy Palm.
"Hey can I borrow this?" Blake asked as he bounded into my room holding a Lycra red shirt. Shaking my head "Yeah. You know you don't walk anywhere you just kinda bounce. It like you're still a little kid." I replied chuckling. Blake stuck out his tongue and took off. I decided on a pair of jeans and a plain black shirt. Nothing fancy. Just as I sat down waiting for Brandon to call Blake began his patented disclaimer for not being home this evening.
"OK If I'm not home tonight don't worry ok. It doesn't mean I'm dead in a ditch or fucking someone's brains out. It just means I had a good time. Don't worry I've got my phone on me. I'm going on a blind date with Eric ... Denny knows him. Anyways I'll fill you in on all the details tomorrow bye" Blake monologued. The thing is to him its one sentence and he doesn't need to breathe. He also doesn't need me to comment, just acknowledge that he has begun the ritual.
"Yeah OK be careful and wear a rubber." I reply without looking up. As Blake left, my phone rang and Brandon was calling to let me know that he was going to be there in like 10 minutes so I better be ready. I hung up on him. Yeah I know, what a bitchy thing to do, but I didn't need any attitude this evening and if he were going to piss me off he'd figure out that wouldn't be such a good idea.
Ten minutes later began what Blake like to refer to as the 13th Hour. BANG BANG BANG.
"Come on in" I said from the bathroom. Sure enough my comment was acknowledged with a slam from the front door. Brandon came storming on in and came to a screeching halt when he saw me. "What are you wearing I told you to be ready when I get here and you can't even dress yourself." that was about as far as he got before I had already decided the outcome of the evening. "Oh I'm sorry I just need to switch my clothes. Two minutes tops OK sweetie.." I replied batting my eyes like some kind of Southern Belle. "yeah ok" he muttered defeated.
So I began to rummage through my closet finding the most tattered nasty shirt I could find. "Oh Brandon where are we going tonight?" I hollered through the door. "We're going to the club." "OK" I then quickly ran to the kitchen and grabbed some cornstarch and water. Brandon was busy looking at the paper so he didn't see me. I mixed the two and dripped it all over the shirt and put it on. It was dry by the time he started bitching again. I grabbed my coat and put it on and off we went. The drive there was like a root canal. The difference was this wasn't necessary I just had nothing better to do than teach Mr. Brandon some manners.
Now for those of you who don't know what black light does to certain stains, it illuminates them even after they have been washed. Look at people's jeans next time you go to a club with a black light and you'll get a laugh. Anyways starch water mimics the stain WONDERFULLY. So Brandon's face almost fell off when I checked in my coat. I smiled and made my way to the bar. Some of the regulars knew what I was doing and got a good laugh. I heard one guy whisper "I didn't know guy's could shoot that much.. I wonder if he knows that his shirt is glowing." I chuckled grabbed my Long Island ice tea and went back to a scowling Brandon.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!! YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS! How dare you embarrass me like this" he hissed under his breath. I looked up very innocently and smiled "What? Is there something on my shirt?" I left the table and went on the dance floor. After a couple of grinding sessions with some random guy I felt Brandon behind me. "You owe me big tonight" he slurred out. Oh great a drunk Brandon was not a happy Brandon. As we continued dancing he took off my shirt and threw it away. Now I was really pissed off. So being a calm rationally person I told him to fuck off and went to get my coat. He screamed at me "God its been two weeks and we haven't fucked yet. The whole reason for dating you was to get laid. I mean why else would someone date such a heinous bitch." So then I got my coat and his, got in my car and left. About half way home I saw a homeless man wandering around on the main drag. "Here take this and keep warm. Have a good night" as I lobbed the coat out the window I took off.
As I unlocked the door to my apartment I noticed that the light was on. Blake was sitting in a chair reading. OH this has to be an interesting story. He smirked when he saw I had no shirt. "Came back to warm up?" he asked. "Came back `cause Brandon's the biggest twat I've ever met. You or me first?" I asked. "I'll go" Blake replied. He then told me of his blind date who reminded him of Ben Stiller. Not in the looks department rather the monotonous prattle and "deep" quotes. Apparently he was going for the dazzle him with BS approach. One great thing that I love about Blake is that the boy doesn't deal with BS and is as blunt as I am. Well after about what Blake said to be fifteen minutes that felt like four hours he stood up mid dinner and said, "I'm sorry but this just isn't working for me" and left. By the time I was done wiping my tears of laughter away he said "your turn". He got as good a laugh as I did.
"You know that you are going to have to see him tomorrow considering that you have a Bio test and he's in your class?" Blake asked lifting one eyebrow.
"Yeah Yeah whatever we'll see what happens whatever." I mumbled as I left to get ready for bed.
On my way to class I checked voicemail and there were three voicemails from Brandon. All three apologizing for his behavior. Now I know that what he did was wrong but I think I was worse than he was, so my heart softened a little. I actually felt bad. Now this is a rare thing. Usually I give people whatever they give me. I'm a great friend or a horrible enemy. So I was having warm happy feelings when I saw him waiting outside of class the usual half-hour early.
"Hey" he said very boyishly kicking the ground. I mean how can I be angry at that?
"Hey yourself I got you messages. Thanks and sorry about my behavior I was tired, but I shouldn't have done that. Sorry" I replied looking at the ground.
"It's ok" Brandon replied as he gave me a hug.
"Can we talk about it after the test?" I asked.
"Sure thing."
As I began to walk into the room he grabbed my shoulder and he was still grinning. Isn't that the cutest thing? He wants a kiss.
"Hey babe I've got something to ask you before we go in?" He smiled. Thinking to myself it's adorable he wants a kiss.
"Sure what?" I asked as if I didn't know.
"Can I copy off your test?" He asked with puppy eyes.
Yeah that's right! The jerk off asked me to let him cheat. The only reason why he was being nice was so he'd pass the friggin course. Oh Brandon now you'se in a heap of trouble.
"Sure but I want something before the test." I smiled as if nothing was wrong.
"Sure babe what?" he replied
"Head right now in the men's bathroom. You're just too cute. I can't go to the test without a clear head and do well. So what do you say?" I asked with impishness about me.
"One condition. I get some after you go. Deal?" He asked as if he was in control of this situation.
"Sure sounds like fun."
OK so we went into the bathroom and he went to town. Thing is I was laughing the whole time because he wasn't even any good at this. Finally, and I do mean Finally, I got done. So he got all excited as I started to go down and just as I got to the base I raked his stuff with my teeth, stood up and left the bathroom with his pants down on the ground writhing in pain. I tucked in my shirt sat down and started to take the test. A couple of minute's later Brandon came in and sat down next to me and the professor handed him a different version of the test. Now he was really pissed off. After the test I called his phone and left him a message that he should never call me ever again and if he sees me in the street not to even say hello.
I was steaming when I got home from class and started cooking. Cooking seems to keep me calm for some reason. Questions like why the hell did I ever go out with him? And how could I have been so stupid? Kept wandering around in my head. Later that night after the four-course meal, I went to sleep dreaming of a life more normal. OK so lets hear it. Did you like it? Hate it? or all the above. Believe it or not writers do need feedback in order to keep writing. Email me at deskgnomes@hotmail.com