NSYNC Heartache
by Matt Morris
This story involves homosexuality and as such may be illegal in some areas or for certain age groups. Nothing that follows is supposed to make any suggestions about the sexuality of any of those involved.
Here is the next part of this story. I decided to introduce some new characters to try and add some depth. Maisie is a friend who means a lot to me, and Pete is my rock. Despite the fact that his course was going badly he was always there for me, and I would say only this to him. A true friend, often my only support, I owe you more than I can ever repay, if I can help, any time, any place it is less than you deserve. (and enjoy that policy file)
Finally, to all of those who have sent me emails, I've had a lot on and I forgot to bring my notes back to Uni with me. I hope to get the next couple of parts out fairly soon, and then to settle into a regular pattern from then on in.
love and kisses Matt
As usual, any comments to matt_morris_uk@hotmail.com.
part 3
Mark was sitting in the exec office chatting to Pete. Whenever he needed someone to talk to Pete was there and over the course of their year in office they had become firm friends. Catherine and Karen were great, and Ben was good for a laugh, but Pete was the only one who Mark felt that he could share everything with. Pete knew that Mark missed NSYNC, because whenever he got an email from one of them his eyes lit up and he was really happy for a while. It wasn't that he was unhappy the rest of the time, its just that when he heard from one of them he was that much happier.
Meanwhile in Florida.
'Lance baby, what are you doing for lunch.'
'I was going to grab something with the guys before I came home. If you want to pick me up you could join us.'
'I was hoping I could make something so that we could have some special time together.'
'Ok I'll tell them when I get there, but if you could pick me up I would be grateful.'
Later at the studio.
'Hey guys, I'm not going to be able to make lunch today.'
Chris looked up, 'Got a better offer or something?'
'Yeah actually, Jim wants to make something for me, I think he wants to have a romantic lunch for two.'
Justin groaned. He accepted that he and Lance were never going to be more than the best of friends, but he still got a pang when the subject of Jim arose. Justin had tried hard to like him for Lance's sake, but he just didn't like the chap. Lance looked at Justin with understanding. He knew that this was hard on him and he was grateful for the efforts that Justin had made for his sake. He was going to have to make sure that Jim and Justin spent some time together and became friends, or the tour was going to be unbearable.
The only other person who had picked up on the groan was Joey. He knew how hard it had been on Justin that Lance had found a boyfriend, let alone one he didn't like, and he felt sorry for him. He decided that he needed to do something to help take Justin's mind off it over the tour. Joey didn't know why Justin disliked Jim so much, but he assumed that it was lingering jealousy that he couldn't be with Lance. He considered the matter all morning but couldn't think of anything, and it wasn't until he went down for lunch that the answer struck him. JC had stopped him in the corridor and said that he was having lunch with his new girlfriend and wouldn't be joining them and that Justin had said to start without him as he was writing an email to Mark. It occured to Joey that this was the answer. If they could persuade Mark to join them for at least part of the tour he would be able to take their minds off the tensions. He got a plateful of food and sat down opposite Chris with a somewhat self satisfied smile.
'I just thought of the answer to at least some of our problems.'
'Whats that?' Chris asked not really knowing what Joey was on about.
'Well if we invited Mark to come along on the tour with us it would help take Justin's mind off Jim and it would give us someone to hang with when the lovebirds get too sickly.'
'Sounds cool to me. but you'd have to clear it with the others first'
Meanwhile.
'I don't know if I'm just jealous that we hardly see Lance outside the studio anymore, but I really don't like his new boyfriend. I've tried to make myself but I just don't like him. anyway enough of my troubles, what are you up to? hope to hear from you soon. Justin'
He clicked send and looking up at the clock he cursed. Joey and Chris would have almost finished lunch by now and while they all had the afternoon off he had wanted to talk to them.
Justin grabbed a plate and piled it high before joining Chris and Joey. The conversation had trailed off while the two of them finished their lunch and Justin was hesitant as he wasn't sure if he had intruded on something. Seeing this Joey said, 'Hey Justin, we thought it might be nice to get Mark to join us on tour. He must be coming up to summer vacation and it could be a nice way to thank him for everything he did for us while we were in England.' Justin agreed, and JC and Lance were both keen on the idea, so the next day Joey rang Mark.
'Before I go, I was talking to the others, and we wondered if you would like to come with us for part of our tour.' 'You're joking right, I'd love to.'
'Right, if you let me know when you want to come, I'll sort out some flights for you.'
'I can book some tickets, its just a question of when and how long I can come for.'
'Mark, we want to treat you to say thanks for all that you've done for us. We will be on tour until the new year, so you can come for as long as you want.'
'Well I'm on vacation from the end of June until mid September and I'd love to spend as much of it as possible with you.'
'OK, I'll book some tickets and get back to you. You'll probably be a week or so in Orlando before the tour starts, but it should be a blast. Anyway I'll speak to you soon, Bye.'
Mark couldn't believe it. He was actually going to America to see the guys. He felt really guilty about the guys paying his airfare, but Joey had sounded quite hurt when he had suggested that he pay for himself. Mark couldn't understand why they made such a big deal about what he had done, it was no more than he would have done for anyone yet they made it out to be some kind of massive favour. Oh well, he looked forward to seing them again.
Mark was feeling a little depressed, and he found himself writing more often to the guys. He heard a lot about Jim, Lance saying how happy he was to have found someone, and Justin saying how much he hated him. The others were just happy that Lance had found someone. A few weeks later some plane tickets arrived with a not from Joey.
Mark,
Let me know when these arrive. We know when the plane arrives and one of
us will be there to pick you up. We will be in the studio for the first few days
and then we have a few days break before the tour starts.
See you soon
Joey
Mark jumped up and ran down the corridor screaming in delight, bumping into Pete. He would have sent him flying had Pete not had a good four stone weight advantage over him, and all he could say was, 'I'm going to America to tour with them.' For the next month all Mark talked about was the upcoming tour and how much he was looking forward to it. All of his colleagues were delighted for him, but few of them understood why he was so enthusiastic.
On the day he was flying out Pete drove him down to Heathrow and saw him off. Sitting in the first class departure lounge Mark thought about the summer and how much fun he was going to have, and he soon heard them calling for passengers to board. Sitting next to him was an american who he judged couldn't be more than about thirteen. Not long after the plane took off she struck up a conversation, and everything was going well until she got on to music. She asked Mark what he liked to listen to and he made the mistake of including NSYNC in the list. She started going on about how gorgeous they all are and how wonderful their voices were, all of which Mark inwardly agreed with but she was obsessed with the idea that she was going to marry Justin. When she had said that she was going to marry Justin and have his children for about the hundredth time Mark was getting pissed off. He knew that he couldn't say anything about Justin being gay, but he had to shut her up. Out of desparation he resorted to the old rumour which Justin told him had been put about to hide his sexuality. 'Justin's the youngest right, I thought he was practically married to Britney Spears.' He knew it was a cheap shot but it had the desired effect of shutting her up as she just snorted and turned away. 'At last' Mark thought 'I can get some sleep', but he had just rolled over and closed his eyes when the recorded voice announced that they were coming in to land. The tiresome teenybopper had kept him awake for the whole flight.
When the plane had come to a stop and the stewardess had shown the passengers off the plane Mark hurried to the baggage claim area. Spotting Lance waiting with someone he didn't recognise he made his way over, being careful not to let them see him and when he was standing just behind them he spoke. 'Hi, you must be Jim.' Jim nearly jumped out of his skin and Lance was as much shocked that someone had recognised Jim rather than him as he was by the suddenness. Turning round he realised who it was and gave Mark a big hug before introducing him to Jim. They stood chatting while they waited for Mark's bags to come through and Lance explained that Mark would be staying with him for a week before they left for the tour. The others were in the studio that day, but they would all meet up at Lance's that evening.
When they arrived at Lance's house Mark appologised and asked if he could go straight to sleep as he was quite tired. He wasn't a very good flyer at the best of times, and with the teeny bopper keeping him awake all through the flight he was exhausted. Lance showed him up to his room and he fell asleep almost immediately. The next thing Mark knew was when he was woken up by Justin jumping up and down on the bed. Deciding that acknowledging him would be the best way to get him to stop, Mark sat up and was about to say something when Justin pulled him into a hug. Mark was about to comment when he felt something wet on his cheek and he realised that it was a tear. He held the hug until Justin was ready to release him and reaching over to brush away the tear said.
'Is it something you want to talk about?'
"Not now, the others are all waiting downstairs. I'll tell you all about it later.'
Walking downstairs Mark saw the remaining four members of NSYNC along with a young lady he didn't know. He couldn't see Jim, but he heard someone moving about in the kitchen and the sound of glasses. Moving down the line he hugged Joey and Chris, before turning to JC and the unknown lady who was holding his hand. Hugging JC he whispered in his ear, 'I see you've not been telling me everything.'
JC grinned and said, 'Mark meet Maisie my girlfriend, Maisie meet Mark one of our best friends.'
Mark and Maisie looked at each other for a moment before Maisie pulled Mark into a tight hug. Grinning Mark made fake strangling noises and everybody laughed. Releasing him Maisie punched him playfully and smiled. JC was relieved to see that they were going to get on, and he said, 'If you can bear to tear yourself away from my girlfriend we can go for dinner. She'll be on tour with us, so you'll have plenty of time to get all chummy.' Maisie took a gentle swat at him but he jumped back laughing. Heading for the door it was decided that Lance, Jim, Joey and Chris would go in Lance's car while JC, Maisie, Justin and Mark would follow in JC's.
Mark was sat in the back with Justin, and he tried to get him to open up about why he had been crying earlier, but Justin just got more and more reticent so he let it drop. They arrived at a restaurant and were seated in the otherwise deserted section upstairs. Mark noticed that there was a single space next to Justin who was sitting on the end and he decided to sit there so that Lance and Jim could sit next to each other. He was however somewhat surprised when Justin thanked him.
'Anyone would think that I was famous the way you said that.'
Justin laughed before saying, "Lance was about to suggest that Jim sat there."
'Would that have been so bad?'
Justin just nodded.
'Justin, you know that we all love you right, but if Lance is happy with Jim then you'll need to come to terms with it. We're all here for you, but you can't avoid him all summer.'
Justin squeezed his hand and whispered "Thanks".
Over the course of the meal Mark chatted with people, but he kept getting a sense that Jim didn't like him. He put this down to Jim resenting the way in which Joey and Chris were effectively ignoring him and concentrating on Mark, so when Jim went to the toilet he said to them, 'You might want to pay Jim some attention, I think he's feeling a bit lonely.' After they had finished eating they adjourned to a club and everyone enjoyed themselves, although Mark still picked up negative vibes from Jim. He spent most of the evening talking to Justin, JC and Maisie, and he noticed that when JC was at the bar or in some other way absent Justin was more open.
Back at Lance's, everyone had gone home. Lance was in the shower and Mark was getting ready for bed when Jim walked in, just wearing his underwear. Jim started to blatantly flirt with him, using some of the most awful chat up lines Mark had ever heard. Mark was especially disgusted as he knew that noone had been drinking that evening and he made it clear that he was not interested. Walking over Jim grabbed his arm and said.
'If you won't give it up voluntarily I'll just have to do it the hard way.'
Mark tries to pull away but Jim's grip on his arm is too strong. Jim pushes Mark up against a wall causing him to yelp before Jim starts to roughly kiss him. Mark struggles ineffectively, but Jim suddenly flys backwards across the room. Having heard Marks cry Lance has come to investigate. Seeing his boyfriend attacking his friend he gets mad and pulling Jim off Mark he grabs him by the arm and drags him to the front door where he pushes him out of the house, leaving him in the cold night air wearing only his underwear. Jim bangs on the door a few times, but Lance ignores him and it went quiet.
Returning to the bedroom Lance found Mark sitting on the bed shaking. Taking him down to the living room he sat him down on the sofa and having made him a cup of tea he went to put some clothes on. When he got back Mark was just sat looking at the still full cup, shaking in his trembling hands. Taking the cup and putting it on a table Lance sat next to Mark and put an arm around his shoulder. Mark just sat there hugging Lance and Lance rested his head on Mark's, tears running down his face. Mark felt the tears and said.
'I'm so sorry Lance, I didn't mean to come on to him.'
"You didn't do anything. One of my best friends comes to stay and my boyfriend tries to rape him. I'm so sorry Mark.'
They just sat there, holding each other, occasionally saying something, rarely anything coherent, and they fell asleep on the sofa in each others arms.
The next morning Lance was awoken by a loud banging on the door. Going to investigate he found that it was Jim. Jim tried to walk past him into the house but Lance just shoved him back into the drive.
'I'm so sorry Lance, I don't know what came over me. Please don't throw me out, I don't want to lose you, I don't feel anything for him, Please give me another chance.'
"You don't get it at all do you? I do feel something for Mark. He's one of my best friends and you tried to rape him. I never want to speak to you again, and if you come back here I'll have you arrested."
'If the media ever heard about this it could finish you, but I could be persuaded to keep quiet'
"It might or might not damage my career, but you would certainly go to jail for what you did to Mark. do you really want to go to jail, I hear that they do some pretty unpleasant things to rapists, and I doubt you would get off easily because you didn't succeed.
Walking back into the house Lance sat next to Mark and putting his arm back around his shoulder he gently rubbed his arm.
'Thanks Lance, I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you.'
"It's not your fault. He's a bastard and its probably better that I realised now rather than later. I just hope that I haven't irreperably damaged my relationship with Justin. I know he didn't like Jim and I guess he was right."
'Justin loves you more than anyone else alive and he isn't going to stop because someone fooled you into giving them your heart and then trampled all over it.'
"Well if you're up to it we should get ready, we have to be at the studio in an hour." Mark went upstairs and had a quick shower and put on some clothes. Heading down again he found Lance in the kitchen. Lanc ehanded him a buttered crumpet saying,' I remember you liking them, eat it on the way.' While dragging him to the car and heading off for the studio. When they arrived the others were waiting for them. Chris made a comment about them looking tired and Lance explained what had happened. When he finished he looked over and saw Justin sitting with his head in his hands looking at the floor. Beckoning the others to give them some space Lance sat down and said,
'I guess I should have paid a little more attention to what you said. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You tried to look out for me and I ignored you.'
Justin grabbed Lance and pulled him into a hug. " you silly fool, there's nothing to forgive. You fell in love and he took advantage of you. I just wish I could have done more to protect you."
'There was nothing you could have done. If you'd tried I would have resented you for it. Anyway we have to get into the studio.'
They all headed into a studio while Mark and Maisie sat in a small room next door to it and watched them through a glass wall.
'Are you all right after last night.'
"Yes, he didn't get anywhere, its just a shame that it had to happen to Lance. He was totally head over heels in love and then this happens."
'I think its made Justin's day, he won't like what is't done to Lance, but he never did like Jim. I never knew why but it looks as if he was right.
"You're wrong, Justin didn't like Jim, and it's not my place to tell you why, but he won't take any pleasure in being proven right. Lance is hurting and that will hurt Justin.."
They sat chatting about themselves and the guys and they didn't notice time slipping by. Consequently they were both surprised when JC walked in and said,
'If you two spent less time yakking and more time watching us like you were supposed to you would have realised that we stopped for lunch ten minutes ago.'
"How rude." Maisie said, "much more like that and I might have to ditch you in favour of Mark. He's a truly charming gentleman.
'I'm sorry dear, but if you did that JC would be available and he's far more my type than you are.' Mark responded.
Maisie's face dropped at the way in which her joke had been ruined, and follwed the laughing Mark and JC to the cafeteria. Lunch was over quickly and Mark and Maisie returned to their vantage point while the guys finished the last track for their new album. Having paid a bit more attention to proceedings Mark and Maisie saw when they finished for the day and were ready to leave when they came out of the studio. Justin came over and said,
'My mum invited everyone over to dinner, she would really like to meet you Mark.'
"Lead the way, I just hope you didn't tell her anything too bad about me."
That evening flew by. The dinner was great and Justin's mum insisted on telling all the embarrassing stories about when Justin was growing up. While his band mates had heard them before, Mark and Maisie both found them entertaining. At the end of the evening when everyone is about to head home Justin's mum pulled Mark to one side.
'I don't lnow how you met them or how you persuaded them to take you into their confidence, but I want to thank you. Justin had been crucifying himself about it for years and I think Lance probably had as well.'
"Really, it was nothing."
'To you maybe, it meant an awful lot to them. Anyway enjoy the tour. You deserve a break.'
The next day was the last in the studio, and while they left the others working Mark and Maisie went exploring. They found a computer so Mark showed Maisie the pages for the Guild and University and general pages for Birmingham.
'You really love that place don't you?'
"Which place?"
'The Guild'
"I was never close to my parents, and when they threw me out, when they found out I was gay, I had no one. The Guild was an environment I felt safe in, surrounded by people who cared for me but not about the fact that I was gay. I was accepted for what I am. Also, if you spend enough time involved in something like that, a place set up to look after people, it's impossible not to end up loving it."
The day passed quickly and as everyone was tired they decided to just rent some movies and head over to Lance's to watch them. Justin wanted to watch an action film, so Mark insisted that they get something a little more cultured as well, eventually settling for 'An Ideal Husband.' When they had finished the films they just sat and talked about them and gradually everybody fell asleep. The next morning Mark woke up and looked around the room. most of the others were sprawled fairly inelegantly but JC had fallen sideways and was face down in Justin's crotch. Waking Maisie Mark pointed this out before waking Justin. When Justin saw he joined Maisie in laughing before prodding JC into consciousness.
'Hey JC, I'm always game for a bit of fun, but you might want to wait until Maisie's not here, I don't really think she's into that sort of thing.'
JC went bright red and shuffled over to Maisie.
When everyone woke up they decided to spend the day at Disney. Maisie and Joey wanted to go to Epcot while JC and Chris wanted MGM. Justin Mark and Lance outvoted them however by deciding to go to the Magic Kingdom, after all where else would a group of fairies go.
Because of the size of the group they managed to avoid recognition and they spent the day just walking around enjoying the rides. Mark's monumental queasiness attracted comment from everyone, but he just shrugged it off as he was enjoying spending a day with his friends. Before they knew it it was getting dark and they decided to watch the parade before leaving. While most of them had seen one before, it was Mark's first time and once again he provided much amusement to his colleagues with his looks of amazement. The rest of the week was spent doing the usual touristy things in Florida, and the day before they left on the tour Maisie and JC had decided to go shopping, taking Mark and Justin with the company as in Maisie's words,
'Gay men have such good taste and I need lots of fit young men to carry my bags for me.'
Heading to a mall they visited just about every shop and Justin and Mark realised that Maisie hadn't been joking about the bags. All four of them were well laden when they heard a piercing scream.
'Oh my god. It's JC!'
Mark saw a horde of screaming teenagers bearing down on them. Justin and JC were off like a shot. Mark was about to follow them when Maisie grabbed his arm.
'Relax, they're not after you, and if you try and follow Justin and JC you'll just get trampled.'
They carried on walking as if nothing unusual had happened , and after about a quarter of an hour Maisie's mobile rang. Speaking briefly she pointed to a door and said,
'They're waiting for us out there.'
"You have plans for this?"
'They get mobbed fairly often so it pays to know what to do.'
Walking out the door they hopped into the waiting car and Mark couldn't help laughing. Justin was sitting in the front, his shirt torn in various places and even missing a sleeve. Justin just glared at Mark and gave him the funniest mock offended look that any of them had ever seen which had the four of them laughing hysterically.
When they got back to Lance's house Mark hopped out and saying his goodbyes walked into the house. The door was unlocked so he was surprised that there was no sign of Lance. Walking up to his room he heard the unmistakeable sound of someone crying. Knocking on Lance's door he got no reply so he opened the door. Lance was curled up in a ball on the floor, crying his eyes out and completely oblivious to Mark's presence. Walking over Mark picked him up and sat him on the side of his bed before sitting down next to him and pulling him into a hug. After about half an hour the sobs became quiter and about ten minutes after that the tears slowed.
'Do you want to talk about it?'
"It's Jim."
'What's he done now?'
Lance didn't reply, but just handed Mark a piece of paper.
Lance,
It is obvious to me now that you never really cared about me and were just
using your fame to get an easy lay. I cannot go on in this fashion and have decided
to spend some time trying to rebuild my shattered confidence.
I hope that it was worth it as I have little hope that you will realise how much
your selfishness has hurt me.
Yours et c.
Jim
Mark pulled Lance closer to him and turned his head so that they were looking into each other's eyes.
'Lance, all you ever did was love him with all your heart. You are the least selfish person I know and he took advantage of your good nature. You can't let him get you down, he's just written this to try and hurt you, and you're letting him succeed.'
Lance just sat there and eventually fell asleep. Pulling off his Jeans and jumper Mark put him under the covers and went downstairs to watch some TV before turning in himself.
TBC.
I'm sorry that this took so long, but I've been flat out. I have the next part almost finished and it should be posted by the end of the week. If anyone can let me know the name of an american tabloid I would be grateful, preferably something really trashy like 'The Sun' in Britain.