Nsync Lance N Jc

'N SYNC: LANCE 'N' JC CHAPTER 22 ----------

Usual disclaimer applies: This is a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the orientation, beliefs or anything else about the real members of 'N Sync, the Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, or anyone else depicted here. If you are under 18, or are offended by graphic depictions of homosexual relationships, please go find something else to read.

A side note: I still get mail every once in awhile from people asking about the dolphin rescuing Lance and JC back in Chapter 1; has that ever really happened? Well, according to the Center for Marine Conservation: "Throughout the ages, dolphins have been known to rescue people after boating accidents or save people from drowning." To learn more, or to help the Center in their dolphin protection and preservation efforts, go to www.cmc-ocean.org.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox now, on with the story. Sorry for the delay! Thanks for your patience!!

Story content copyright © 2000 T. Kevin.

Everyone was subdued during the drive back to Justin's house. Even though Terry felt privileged that he had been included in the private discussion about 'N Sync's management concerns, he couldn't help wondering what this change would mean for him. He didn't fully understand where Johnny Wright, Lou Perlman, Alex Sommers, TransCon, RCA and BMG all fit together, who worked for whom...

He also felt like a sixth wheel. These five guys had been together for years; he imagined that they could practically read each others' minds by now. On the other hand, Lance and JC had just recently opened up about their feelings for each other, and Justin was only now coming to terms with his sexuality.

Okay, maybe they didn't read each other's minds so well after all.

As they approached the house, Terry spotted a car in the driveway.

"Mom's home!" Justin crowed, bouncing up and down in the seat. Then he turned to Terry with a grin. "You get to meet my mom and stepdad!"

Terry managed a weak smile. "Great. I hope she likes me."

"She will! I told her all about you!"

"That's what I was afraid of."

"When does this torture session they are calling a barbecue start tonight?" Chris hollered to no one in particular.

"Eight." Lance answered immediately. "And we are expected to be something close to on time."

"I need to call Steve." Joey muttered.

"And take a shower I hope! Pee-ew!" Chris held his nose.

"Oh yeah, like those braids aren't starting to get a little mildewy!"

"When are you expecting your parents?" Lance asked JC over the rising voices behind them.

"I'm surprised they haven't called by now." JC answered, frowning. "They usually check in as soon as they get to their hotel."

"Maybe their flight was delayed, considering the weather in DC."

"Oh yeah, and all the deadbeats who got bumped from the day before..." JC smirked, waiting to see if Terry or Justin heard his little jab.

But Terry was off in his own world of anxiety, and Justin's attention was consumed with the task of maneuvering his vehicle into the drive.

They parked without incident and everyone piled out. Joey said his good-byes, promising to be on time for the event, and headed for his car.

Justin trotted to the front door and threw it open. "Hi mom! I'm home!!" He hollered.

"In the kitchen honey!" A female voice thick with Tennessee answered back.

Justin grinned, took Terry by the arm and led him towards the kitchen as the others dispersed to their rooms.

As they approached the kitchen Terry remembered in a panic about the huge bruise on his neck. There was no way Justin's mother would miss it and of course it could only indicate one thing. "Jus, I need to go to the bathroom first okay?" He whispered desperately, digging his heels into the carpet.

"C'mon you can hold it." Justin turned when he encountered resistance and when he looked, Terry pointed to his neck and made a wide-eyed face. "Whaaa-? Oh!" Then he just snorted and shook his head with a smile. "If you think THAT is gonna shock my mom, you got another thing comin'. She is usually the one shocking me." Then he grabbed Terry's arm and hauled the confused designer into the brightly lit kitchen. He released him long enough to run over and hug his mother. "Hey mom!"

Terry stood uncertainly in the doorway. Lynn Harliss was a tall woman with blond curly hair, and a little bit of a tough look to her. Paul Harliss, a lean, pensive-looking man, was sitting at the kitchen table reading a paper and drinking coffee. He smiled up at Justin but didn't move. Terry figured he wasn't the overly affectionate type.

"Mom, Paul, I'd like you to meet Terry McLaren." Justin grinned broadly as he pulled away from Lynn and waved to Terry to come over.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Harliss." Terry smiled and accepted her hand. "Mr. Harliss." He shook hands with Paul, who kept a neutral expression and didn't get up.

"Nice to meet you, Terry." Lynn smiled back, but the designer could feel himself being scrutinized. "We've heard a lot about you. Justin says you're very talented with computers."

"Well, I'm working on the new 'N Sync website, so I'm very excited." Terry struggled to say something that wasn't too inane.

In the meantime Justin had his head in the fridge. "I am DYIN' of thirst, is there any Gatorade?"

"Yes dear, though I don't know how cold it is. We just got back from the grocery, since you boys cleaned out the house."

"Sorry mom." Justin emerged with a bottle, still wearing his trademark disarming smile. "Terry, you want anything?"

"No thanks, I'm fine."

"Cool. Mom, you know about this barbecue thing tonight? Terry and I are gonna go get ready."

"Yes, Paul and I thought we'd go for a little while, but we're still a little tired from the trip so we won't stay long. Before you go get ready, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, ma."

Sensing that this was a family conversation, Terry excused himself and went to Justin's room.

Lynn waited until she heard the door close before speaking. "Honey... he seems like a very nice young man. Nice looking, too."

"But?" Justin slid down into a kitchen chair.

"We've been through this before when we talked about you dating girls, though then it was just theoretical. This won't be easy for either of you. Does he understand that your popularity right now is based largely on your perceived availability for your teen fans?"

"Mom!"

"And don't tell me I'm being cynical. You know it's true."

Justin hung his head. "Yah. I wish they loved us for our music!"

"They do, partly, but you know that's not all of it. You are going to have to be extra careful. Lance and JC too, but especially you."

"It's not fair. I can accept it, but it's not fair to Terry."

"I know. It isn't fair that he has to pay a price for your fame, but he must know what he's getting into. And it's not just that he's a man; if you were serious with a girl it wouldn't be all that much better. I guess that doesn't help though."

Justin smiled ruefully. "I don't think so."

Lynn Harliss tenderly put her hand on her son's shoulder. "Well, Terry is getting a very special young man, so I think he'll be able to make a few sacrifices along the way."

"I hope so. I really, really like him, ma."

'He really does.' Lynn thought. 'My son is in love, with a man. I have to face this... now he is here in the flesh. And he seems decent enough. But if he hurts my boy...'

"Mom? Please don't be mad."

Lynn snapped out of her mental digression. "I'm not sweetheart, I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy! He is really nice. He was just scared before, but it's all good now."

"I believe you, son. I trust your judgment. Just be careful."

"'Course, mom." Justin blushed. Then he kissed her on the cheek and bounded down the hall after his boyfriend.

"You were quiet." Lynn sat down across from her husband. "What do you think of my son's boyfriend?" She forced a smile.

"Seems a little bit older. Polite enough, kind of quiet. Not what I would have expected, but I didn't know what to expect." Paul answered without looking up.

"Aside from the fact that he's a boy."

"Are you really all that surprised that Justin is that way?"

"Maybe it's a phase." Lynn looked out the window. The back yard was in shadow, the sun already set.

"I don't think so, and neither do you. Britney Spears was a phase." Paul glanced up finally. His wife looked... tired. He placed his hand on hers. "He's a young man now, Lynn. And he's got a good head on his shoulders."

'Dear God...' Lynn prayed silently. 'You made my only son gay. Please let him be happy. That's all I ask. He's a good boy, he deserves happiness, however he finds it...'

"See? Ain't my mom da bomb?" Justin grinned as he leaned against his door to close it.

Terry sat on the bed. He thought that the blond still looked a bit relieved himself, despite the reassuring demeanor. "Yeah she's great. It's not every day you meet your eighteen year-old son's 27 year-old boyfriend."

"Yeah, she's been really good about 'dat." Justin smirked. "Me datin' an old man like you." He wandered over to his boom box and picked out a CD.

Terry frowned and started fumbling in his bag. "Yeah I'm sure she's not too excited about that."

"Jeez! I was kidding! She thinks you are very cute actually!" Justin hit the play button and TLC's 'No Scrubs' began playing.

"Yeah right."

"No lie. Now stop your pouting. Now, time for the important things..." he added thoughtfully as he opened his closet. "What am I gonna wear tonight?"

The designer crept up behind Justin and slid his hands around his slim waist. "Hmm, that means you are going to be undressing." He whispered huskily in Justin's ear. He pulled up against the blond and nuzzled his neck while his hands cupped Justin's toned pecs.

"Ohh maaaan," the singer whimpered.

Terry started kissing his lover, caressing the tight skin of his collarbone and neck with his lips. At the same time he worked his hands up inside the boy's shirt so he could feel the smoothness of his chest and abs.

Justin made little appreciative noises and surrendered himself to the sensations coursing through his body.

Terry explored lower with one hand, his fingers slipping inside the waistband of Justin's boxer-briefs, following the little trail of hairs that led downward. At the same time he kissed Justin a little harder, and the fingers of his other hand slightly pinched the blond's nipple.

Justin's whole body convulsed with pleasure. As if that wasn't enough, he felt Terry's hand close around his already-hard penis, protecting it from the abrasion of his underwear. "Oh jeez..." he hissed. "Terry, you are makin me crazy!"

"That's the idea." Terry whispered. He fumbled with Justin's belt.

"Uhh... but... I dunno..." Justin whispered hesitantly and put a hand over Terry's.

Terry froze. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." He pulled away then as if Justin were red-hot. "You're home, you're mom is in the next room, I understand, really." He sat on the bed again and tried not to look disappointed.

The singer continued to face towards the closet but hung his head. "No, I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. It was a little weird there for a sec. I mean, I've lived here for years, since I was a kid. And here I am gettin' busy with a guy, you know."

"We don't have to do anything. I understand, really."

"Thanks man." Justin turned then and flashed a smile. "Mebbe tonight after the barbecue."

"I'll leave it up to you." Terry managed to answer with a smile of his own, but inside he was worried. Was this the first appearance of the 'other' Justin?

"Heyyy..." The singer's expression turned sympathetic when he saw Terry's discomfort. He knelt between Terry's legs and put his hands on the brunet's thighs. "We're partners, remember?" He slid his hands up under Terry's arms, stood, and pulled him to his feet, then into a gentle hug. "You lean on me and I lean on you. We talk and work it out." As he spoke softly in Terry's ear he pressed his lean body against him and tenderly slid his hands over the designer's muscled back.

Terry let out a shuddering sigh. "God you are so... "

"What?" Justin asked, hugging him a little tighter.

"Smart. Sensitive. Cute. Incredible."

"Stop! You'll give me a big head."

"But you are... all of those things." Terry pulled back slightly so he could look into the singer's deep blue eyes.

Justin smiled shyly. "You're shweet."

"Kiss me?"

The blond smiled at his lover's hesitant request, closed his eyes and leaned in...Their noses brushed against each other, and then their lips touched, warm breath mingling as they shared a tender kiss... parted and kissed again. Their hold on each other tightened and each felt the other quickly becoming aroused as their lips met again, this time more forcefully. Terry moaned deep in his throat and Justin made a little whimpering sound as their mouths opened and their tongues met.

For several minutes they were lost in each other, holding so tight that it was as if they wanted to merge into one person. Finally they broke their lip-lock, both breathing hard.

"Man!" Justin gasped. "Where did you learn to kiss like that?"

"You inspire me." Terry whispered, blushing as he continued to touch his lips to Justin's every few seconds. "You're... not so bad... yourself."

"I got a good teacher. How about more lessons?"

"Mmmmm."

It was actually Justin who maneuvered them back onto the bed. They spent the next hour just lying together, kissing and caressing, holding each other like chaste teenagers.

"Oh god." Chris intoned as they neared Lou Perlman's house. There were cars everywhere, a couple of catering vans... and over the wall around his property they could see the top of a large white tent, aglow from within.

"We didn't really think this would be a friendly little barbecue, did we?" JC asked rhetorically.

"No, but..."

In the passenger seat, Terry got a sinking feeling in his stomach. He already felt out of place, and he hated big parties like this where he would know virtually no one. And he couldn't cling to Justin all night; in fact he had a feeling he was barely going to be near him at all.

They pulled up into driveway and a valet trotted up to park their car. Justin hit the button to roll down his window and raised his eyebrows at the young man. "Hey, we're 'N -think' (he lisped the 's' on purpose) and we're parkin' right t'chere. And ain't nobody gonna block us, riiiight?"

"Uh, no sir." The guy clearly didn't like taking orders from a ghetto- slang talking bleach-blond teenager, but he also knew where his pay was coming from.

"You okay man?"

Terry snapped out of his reverie when he felt Justin tap him on the arm. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just not a fan of big parties." He smiled weakly.

Justin glanced around in time to catch Lance's eye as he climbed out. Lance nodded with a little smile and, since JC and Chris were already out, closed the car door. The overhead light went out, plunging the interior into relative darkness. Justin hit the door lock button. "Anything I can do to make you feel better?" He grinned. "These seats go all the way back."

Terry couldn't help laughing. "People might see the car shaking."

"Oh well." Justin shrugged. "Mebbe later. In the meantime, how 'bout a kiss?" He leaned in close.

"I'd like that..." Terry whispered just as Justin's soft lips touched his. He moaned quietly, feeling his chest ache with that pleasant pain. This felt so right, the two of them alone together. He reached up tentatively, his fingertips caressing Justin's cheek.

The blond pulled back slightly. "If it gets too weird out there, remember where you'll be sleepin' tonight."

"Um, on your living room sofa?"

"It will be if yah be a smartass." Justin smirked. "I meant, you'll be with me."

"Are you sure? Is it okay with your mom?"

"Yah. She's cool."

"I love you." Terry murmured.

In answer Justin growled sexily and started to climb on top of Terry, who began giggling.

Then someone was rapping on the car window. "Hey!" Came a muffled yell. There was Chris pressing his face to the window. "The glass is steaming up!"

With a laugh they climbed out and joined the others headed up to the house.

Terry paused to take a picture of the entrance while the others filed in. As he was slipping the digital camera back in its case he felt a touch on his arm. His head jerked around; it was Lance.

"Hey." He said in his deep voice, then made that little smile.

"Hi." Terry smiled back. He was still a little nervous alone with Lance -- or any of the others for that matter. To Terry they still were as much pop idols as people. And he'd had that crush on Lance since way back...

"You got a minute?" Lance's smile faded and he glanced over at the others, clearly implying that he wanted Terry to hang back so they could talk in private.

"Sure, what can I do for you?"

"You're already doing it. I've never seen Justin so happy, not since the beginning of the group. He has been really lonely the last year or so, and he took JC and me getting together pretty hard. I was really concerned when you left, though I understand your reasons... if not your way of handling it. I know Justin can be overwhelming. But I wanted to kind of prepare you about something else."

Terry raised his eyebrows. "For the 'other' Justin?"

Lance's face broke into a grin. "So you've already talked about it?"

"Some. Though I still am not sure what to expect."

Lance pressed his lips together in thought before he began. "We all have dual personas to some extent, the stage personality and the 'real' us." As he spoke, Lance gestured with his hands nervously. Sort of an endearing trait, Terry thought idly. "Justin's is by far the most pronounced, probably because he has been a stage kid from such a young age. Stage Justin is 'on', smiling so hard it hurts to watch sometimes. He's a ham and he loves the camera. He's so used to putting it on that it's become second nature."

"I think I understand." Terry nodded.

"It can be a little bit much." Lance warned. "And while I won't say it's all an act, it's not the real Justin either." He pointed to his chest for emphasis. "The real Justin is a down-to-earth young guy who's actually kind of shy. And you need to remember that the real Justin is the one who likes you very much. You're going to see stage Justin do some things you won't like. He'll flirt, work the crowd like a pro, probably dance with Britney and even kiss her. They are friends from when they were twelve years old, and I wouldn't try to get in the way of that. She wants it to be more, but he doesn't, so you shouldn't worry. I don't know if you're the jealous type or not, but if you are, get ready to grind your teeth, 'cause in case you hadn't noticed, you are dating a closeted teen idol." Lance looked up at Terry as if to say 'you getting all this?'

"I've been trying to prepare myself for it." Terry looked up towards the tent. He imagined that he could already hear Justin's laugh over the murmur of the crowd.

"It won't be easy for you I know, since you're not actually in the group and you're going to have to hang back more or less. JC and I can still throw our arms around each other and goof around and no one will think too much of it. But just remember..." Lance took Terry by the arm and started to lead him towards the entrance. "In case the FedEx gambit didn't convince you --" he said with a little laugh, "-- I see it in Justin's eyes when he looks at you: the real Justin wants to be with Terry. When the show is over, when the screaming teenage girls are home in their beds staring at their Justin posters, the real Justin Timberlake will be with you. He's very loyal and very caring, and if you treat him right and be patient with 'stage' Justin, you guys could be very happy."

"That's quite a speech. You sound almost like his father."

"No, just his older brother looking out for him -- and you." Lance smiled.

They got to the gate where a security man glared at Terry.

"It's okay, he's with me." Lance said, a businesslike tone coming into his voice. "He'll be needing a pass; all access."

Once they were inside, Terry pulled out his digital movie camera and panned around. Scattered across the rolling verdant lawn must have been two hundred people. Under three large tents were table settings and minibars, and at the far end of the lawn under a canopy was an elaborate cooking area and buffet. Something smelled delicious. There was also a croquet game set up, and chairs scattered all about in little clusters. The strains of "I Want You Back" wafted from a large sound system. The tents were illuminated by strings of tiny white lights, and the lawn was lit by torches. It was indeed an elaborate setup to be called a 'barbecue.'

There was Alex Sommers talking intently to a couple of middle-aged men; they all looked overdressed even in khakis and button-down shirts. Johnny Wright and his wife were chatting with a circle of people which included -- to Terry's disappointment -- Britney Spears and that other girl... Topanga whatever. Standing around one of the bars were four young men who looked familiar. Three were very handsome and had serious gym bodies. Standing near them and seemingly keeping a gaggle of young women at bay just with their presence were five very large black men. They seemed to be scanning the lawn as if looking for someone or some thing; they might as well have been wearing huge signs declaring 'bodyguard!'. Also nearby were Joey (it was impossible to miss his hair) and a young man with a buzzed haircut who could have been Joey's brother and maybe it was: Steve Fatone.

Cracking jokes with John Norris from MTV and a group of women was a rotund, balding man who Terry figured must be Lou Perlman.

The group was barely through the gate when people began to close in on them. Justin instinctively backed up a few paces so he was next to JC, then made a visible effort to relax. Terry fought the urge to rush to Justin's side. Instead he moved away and let the sharks close in. Lou spotted them first, but he didn't move very fast so he was beaten there by a squealing Britney -- followed closely by Topanga.

Coming close behind, however, were four of the black men. Justin accepted Britney's embrace and quickly released her. A moment later one of the men pulled the blond youth into a bear hug that lifted him off the ground.

"Lonnieeee!" Justin hollered so loud that everyone turned to look. And Lonnie looked no less happy to see his charge -- he was grinning ear to ear as he spun the boy like a rag doll. "Curly! I missed you man!" He said in a surprisingly soft voice. The others arrived to greet their charges almost as warmly. Terry recognized Shaq and Andre from Hawaii. He decided to head over to the bar; might as well meet Joey's brother now and get it over with. As he approached -- working through the clusters of young women with press passes -- he realized who the handsome men were: the boy-group 98 Degrees. 'They are shorter than I expected.' He thought as he got nearer. Joey Fatone was taller than all of them at 5' 11".

"Hey Joey, long time no see." Terry waved as he neared them.

"Hey! I see you are wisely avoiding the stampede." He nodded in the direction of the crowd growing around the other members of 'N Sync.

"Why aren't you mobbed?"

"They already chewed me up and spat me out. The media types all want Justin, or they want us all together. Nobody's interested in little old me." He affected a pout.

"And nobody's heard of us I guess." Sighed the most handsome of the quartet. Terry thought his name was Jeff, but couldn;t remember for sure.

"Anyway," Joey shrugged, "I guess some introducing is in order! Terry this is my brother Steve. You guys should have tons to talk about, both being camera guys."

Terry shook hands with Steve, making a point of giving his best butch handshake and just enough eye contact. He could tell that the elder Fatone was giving him the visual once-over, no doubt thinking, 'so this is the fag who's fucking Justin...'

"And this is Nick, Justin, Jeff and Drew. They're in some OTHER singing group that we won't talk about right now." Joey grinned. "Terry is going on the tour with us to do a sort of video journal on the web site with lots of pictures and updates and stuff."

Terry shook their hands all in turn. Something about Drew, the shortest one, made him wonder. He seemed shy, but more than that...

"I see Lance and Justin's girls are making the most of their reunion." Nick gestured with his prominent chin. Terry didn't want to look, but like driving by a car wreck, he couldn't help himself. Topanga (that wasn't her real name... what was it?) and Britney were holding Lance and Justin's hands and talking excitedly. Chris was walking up towards Joey, and as Terry watched, Lou hugged JC, giving him a pat on the ass while doing it. JC pulled away quickly and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He smiled half- heartedly as Lou cracked a joke and his nasal laugh echoed up the lawn. JC kept looking nervously over at Lance, who was getting a glazed look on his face while Topanga talked and gestured animatedly.

Then Britney rested her head on Justin's shoulder. Terry had to turn away, and not because of the blinding flashes from the cameras.

"Can I get you a beer? You look like you need it." Joey asked in his ear.

"That would be great." Terry smiled crookedly. "I have a feeling I'm going to need an anesthetic tonight."

Terry stood quietly while the 98 Degrees guys and Joey and Steve swapped tour stories. He tried to keep himself distracted from Justin by observing how the others interacted. Steve actually seemed decent enough, but there was something about him that Terry found disquieting... almost a predatory look sometimes. All the guys in the other boy group guys had a sort of 'aw shucks' friendliness about them, though he thought that Nick, the bigger Lachey brother, was showing the beginnings of an ego. He also liked to tease his little brother a lot, sometimes to the point of making Drew noticeably uncomfortable. This interaction went right over Justin's head, but Jeff Timmons would sometimes get a pained look on his face. The designer observed all this over the course of an hour, another beer, lots of photos and questioning from magazine writers, and the group of them heading down for food. All this time Justin TImbrlake was held hostage by Britney and his own swarm of media people -- though Lonnie was never more than a few feet away. A few times Terry tried to catch Justin's eye, but was never successful. He tried to keep Lance's advice in his mind, but as the evening wore on it got more and more difficult.

More people streamed in to the party. Lynn and Paul Harliss arrived. There seemed to be an awful lot of young women here with no particular purpose except to hang around and ogle the boys. Steve Fatone seemed to be hitting on each of them in turn. Joey was also quite a flirt, but as a little more laid back about it. Nick Lachey and Justin Jeffrey also played along with the giggling fans, Drew and Jeff less enthusiastically. Terry was grateful for his own cameras; at least it gave him something to do. He finally got some food and sat down in an out-of-the-way corner, feeling more out of place than ever.

"First big media party?"

Terry jumped, surprised out of his self-pitying reverie.

Drew Lachey was standing near him with a plate of chicken. "Mind if I join you?"

"Uh, no be my guest." Terry forced a smile.

"I though maybe we could suffer together. I'm still not used to this kind of thing; makes me uncomfortable."

"It all seems kind of artificial." Terry said, then hoped that it wouldn't be taken wrong. Drew seemed like a nice guy.

"Yep, exactly. Fame is coming kind of fast. It's scary. I don't know how the 'N Sync guys handle it."

"Me neither. It amazes me, but they all are still pretty normal guys."

"So how did you get caught up in all this?" Drew gave Terry a sidelong smile. "Going on tour with them, you must be pretty tight."

Terry felt himself redden. What did Drew know or suspect? "I actually just met them a couple months ago in Hawaii, when they came up with this big web tour project idea."

"Sounds very cool. Our website is pretty minimal right now; it looks okay but not a lot there. A friend does most of it; I like to help out a little but it hets harder to find the time."

"I'll have to check it out."

"Cool, hey, let's swap emails and keep in touch -- if you don't mind."

"Not at all. That'd be great." Terry fished around in his bag for a card. Drew didn't have one and ended up writing his 'private' email on the back of one of Terry's.

They sat eating in silence for a few minutes after that, then Drew suddenly asked "So, maybe it's none of my business, but what's up with Lance and that girl? Isn't that Danielle Fischel the actress?"

Terry froze for a second, then managed to resume chewing. He tried to cover his surprise with a joke. "Danielle! That's her name! I keep wanting to call her Topanga! Um, what do you want to know?"

"Uh oh, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I figured you would know..."

"You mean... about Lance?" Terry wasn't sure what to say. Did Drew know Lance was gay? Was Drew gay too? He certainly didn't want to be the one to reveal a secret.

"I haven't talked to Lance much for a few months, but we had a long conversation in Stockholm one night, talked about a lot of stuff. I just didn't expect to see him with a girl. Looks serious." Drew frowed.

"I really can't say. They are friends, I think."

Drew barked out a humorless laugh. "That sounds like what Timberlake is always saying about him and Britney Spears, and look at them! She's all over him!"

"Yeah, I know." Terry muttered. "I think I need another beer."

"Lance, can we talk for a minute... alone?" Danielle raised her eyebrows.

"What do we have to talk about?" Lance looked away from her, gazing across the lawn impatiently. Where had JC gone already?

"It will only take a minute, and I promise it's not another scheme of Alex's, okay? I just want to talk."

"Sure, whatever." Lance shrugged. He pointedly ignored her offered hand; she rolled her eyes, walked to a pair of chairs near the edge of the lawn and sat down primly. Lance sat and folded his arms across his chest. "I'm listening."

"Look, I'm sorry about Los Angeles." Danielle leaned forward a little. "Alex told me that I would be doing you a favor, getting you away from JC. He said you were confused and needed a girl. I owed him a favor. And you are awfully cute." She added with a teasing smile.

Lance's expression didn't soften. "Don't patronize me. Just get to the point, okay?"

"Sorry! I was not trying to be patronizing; you are cute. And excuse me, but try to imagine how humiliating this is for me. I'm losing out to a guy. JC is a sexy man, though, I can't say I blame you." She grinned wickedly.

"You stay away from JC!" Lance practically snarled.

"Oh! Protective!" Danielle pretended to cringe. "You can retract the claws sistah, I'm not after him. And my intuition tells me that if he wants you enough to give you all that ice on your finger, there's not much I could do to turn his head."

Lance's jaw dropped and he blushed, glancing at the ring.

"Remain calm. I'm sure no one else would even suspect where that monster jewelry came from. Anyway, let me get to the point, as you asked." Danielle took a breath and glanced around to be sure they were still relatively alone. "What Gloria said really kind of hit home to me. I guess I didn't want to believe that you and JC could really be, you know, in love."

"Well, we are." Lance said, somewhat petulantly.

"I see that now, and I don't want to try to come between you. But you have to realize that for the sake of your career and his -- and the rest of the group -- you can't go parading around telling all your fans that you and another very popular member of 'N Sync are gay and practically married to each other. And now with Justin seeing that computer guy..."

"You know about that too?" Lance glared at her.

"Yes. Britney doesn't though, and she won't hear it from me. The suits know, Norris knows so MTV knows. If anything he needs to be more careful than you guys, but that's not my issue. I'm proposing a truce."

"Truce?" If it were possible for Lance to look more wary and skeptical, he did.

"Yes. We continue to play the dating game like Alex wants, but we won't do anything you don't want to. No kissing, no nothing -- though a hug once in awhile won't kill you. However, we start planting the seeds of the breakup now so we can both bow out gracefully."

"Bow out?"

"I know you're from Mississippi and all, but try to follow along. We play the dating game for a couple more months then have a mutual breakup, say it just didn't work out because of our schedules. Alex is happy, I save some face, and you have an ex-girlfriend you can keep mooning over for another year or at least. 'Oh Lance CAN'T be gay! He had a girlfriend!' See how easy!?"

"Well, it sounds fine to me. I just don't want to do anything that is going to hurt JC."

"If anything this should make him happy."

"I hope so. Well, thanks, I guess." Lance stood up.

"You're welcome, I guess." Danielle smiled. "See, I'm not so evil."

Lance only looked back at her skeptically. "I never said you were evil. Manipulative and scheming, maybe."

"My work here is done." Danielle ignored his insults with a smile and a toss of her hair. "Go find your boyfriend. I have a teen queen to track down before she has the press convinced that she's marrying your friend Justin."

"JC, your parents are already here!" Lou grinned, noticing how the singer was craning his neck around. "I'm sure they are eager to see you... they're over by the house."

Josh found his mother and father sitting together at a picnic table with their dinners. No one else was nearby... perfect.

"There you are Josh!" Karen Chasez looked up with a smile. They both stood as he arrived and he hugged them warmly. "Are you going to get something to eat?"

"In a minute. I wanted to talk to you about something first." JC shifted from foot to foot nervously.

"All right, well sit down then."

He sat across from them. He couldn't keep his hands still.

"Mom, dad, there's something I need to tell you." Josh glanced up at his parents. They looked expectant but not wary at all. 'God, could they have no idea? The son who never seriously dated girls... likes to sing and dance. Mom and dad, didn't you read the tea leaves?' He took a deep breath, and looked down at the table between them. 'Just blurt it out man, get it over with! Here we go...'

"I'm gay."

JC was met with silence. He looked up again and was shocked to see his mother's expression: closed, even angry. His father just looked away, his reaction impossible to read. Disappointed? Sad? Resigned?

Then his mother spoke. "What do you mean, you're gay?" Her voice was like ice: thin, clear, chilling.

"I'm... gay, you know. I like guys. Do I have to explain it?" JC pleaded. He had the peculiar sensation that he was falling... sliding into a pit as his parents sat and watched, becoming more distant as the darkness enclosed him.

"Don't be smart with me." His mother snapped. "I didn't raise a homosexual, Joshua. Who put this idea in you head?" Karen Chasez looked over his shoulder as if seeking the perpetrator: the man who had taken away her straight son and put JC in his place. "Who made you think you are gay? Was it Justin? He always seemed like he might be one of 'those' boys. Or..." then her cold anger finally cracked with a flicker of fear... "Was it Lou? What did he do to you when you were living here? I never trusted that man. He's made you into a pervert, a sodomite."

"Mom, stop..." JC begged. "No other person made me be this way! I just AM this way! Dad, say something."

"I don't know what to say, son." His father sighed, still looking away. "What do you want me to say?" His shoulders slumped and he seemed to become small, defeated.

"That... that you still..." JC's voice cracked and he felt the tears start. "That you still love me."

"What do you expect, Joshua?" His mother broke in. "You know this is a sin against God." Then her expression softened a bit more. "You can get help... It's a sickness, son; I've heard that there are ways to cure it. We can get help for you."

"Cure it! It's not a disease, mother!" JC stood up and glared down at her. "I'm in love! There's nothing wrong or sinful about it!"

"Stop it!" His mother's glare shot daggers. "Shush yourself before someone hears!"

"I can't believe this." JC shook his head.

"What do you expect?" His mother looked up at him. "You are the one who decided to do this."

"Mother, you don't 'decide' to be gay! Why would anyone decide to be this way, especially with intolerant, closed-minded people like YOU around!?"

Josh's father looked startled, as if waking from a dream. "Don't talk to your mother that way." He admonished.

"She's the one who said I was sick!" JC raised his voice. A few people turned to look.

"That's enough!" Jack Chasez banged his fist on the table.

"Yeah it is enough!" JC snarled. "If you can't accept me the way I am, then I want nothing to do with you -- either of you! I have a family that accepts me!"

"Your group? That's not your family! What are you saying -- are you all... queer? You make me sick! Get out of my sight!" Anger was overwhelmed by tears as Karen lost her composure. She turned to her husband. "Let's go, away from this place."

Having nothing else to say, JC turned and walked away. How could this have happened? He thought he knew his parents; he never expected this hateful reaction. Vision blurring, he looked desperately for Lance. Poor Lance; JC didn't want to dump this on him, but he needed his lover now. He pushed through the clusters of people, most of whom he didn't know. Hangers-on, studio people, reporters. They looked at him, recognition dawning as he passed. Lance... where was Lance? JC realized that he couldn't keep stumbling around on the verge of tears. He needed to compose himself. Grabbing a beer from a tub, he slipped away to a darkened corner of the yard, partly sheltered by a hedge. There was a bench in this secluded area, he knew. He could sit for a few minutes and pull himself together.

JC slumped onto the cold stone bench with a sigh and took a big drink of his beer. How could he have been so wrong about his parents? What would he tell Lance? 'The guy is worried enough about telling his own mother and father; when he hears about this he's going to be terrified to come out to them. Maybe I should have kept it a secret from them. God, what a mess.'

"Good thing I got these tents, looks like it's going to rain." Lou observed.

John Norris frowned. "Maybe we should try to get started with the interview. Can you round up the guys?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned to his assistant and started barking instructions. "Let's set up under that tent. Haven't you gotten he lights out of the truck yet? Get moving!"

"No problem." Lou muttered. He wasn't used to being bossed around, but he knew Norris was a bit of a prima donna. God knows he was used to putting up with them by now. He called to Johnny Wright and asked him to get the boys together. This of course sent all the other reporters and photographers scrambling. Finally, the promised photo ops!

"Where's JC?" Lance furrowed his brow and scanned the yard.

"I haven't seen him in awhile" Joey shrugged as he sat down with another plate of ribs; he was flanked by giggling young blondes.

"He was talking to his parents, but that was a while ago." Chris volunteered. "Maybe he's in the house."

"I don't know..." Lance's voice trailed off. JC was going to tell his parents that he was gay. Surely he would have come back to tell Lance how it had gone? Unless it hadn't gone well. Lance had seen JC 'shut down' before when faced with a bad emotional situation. Instead of looking for help he retreated into himself and closed everyone else out. Some nonsense about not wanting to burden others with his problems. "I'm going to go look for him."

"Okay man." Chris' eyes narrowed a bit; picking up on Lance's unease. Something was up. "I'm sure he's okay." He tried to sound reassuring. "You want me to come with?"

"Thanks, but --"

"There you are!" Trotting towards them was Danielle, followed by Justin and Britney, arm in arm. Justin was wearing a somewhat pained smile. "Lou wants everybody together for the interviews and photo-shoot before it starts raining."

Joshua Chasez sat alone on the bench, staring at the ground in front of him. 'I can't face Lance like this. I don't want to upset him.' He heard people calling his name but ignored them. He didn't want to see anyone right now. He wanted to be alone. 'Probably just want me for the damned MTV interview anyway, screw 'em.' Hardly anyone knew about this remote spot; hopefully they wouldn't find him. He was in no shape to be seen by anyone, much less a phalanx of cameras and teen mag reporters.

A chilly gust of wind rustled the trees nearby, then a few drops of rain began to fall, darkening the concrete of the bench. JC felt the cold water soak into his shirt but made no move to get under shelter.

The rain began to fall harder, but still JC didn't budge. Soon his shirt was soaked through, his dark hair plastered to his head. He shivered in the cold wind and hugged himself. 'I need to get out of here,' he thought, but couldn't summon the will to get up. His desire to find Lance for comfort fought with his natural resistance to dependence. And he hated to inflict himself on anyone when like this, especially the man he cared about. He clenched his fists in anger and frustration, feeling the pain rise in his chest.

Little rivulets of water ran down over JC's face. They mixed with the tears that he finally released, dripping down into the grass.

Meanwhile, The Backstreet Boys were in New York for a promotional appearance and a concert to be filmed for the Disney Channel. In addition to the concert, Disney would be filming them relaxing during the day. Kevin had planned on inviting Nick to go horseback riding with him in Central Park, but before he got up the guts to ask (and why was he nervous? It wasn't like it would be a 'date' or anything, and it wasn't as if he didn't know that Nicky liked him...), at rehearsal he overheard Brian talking to Nick.

"Hey bro, whatcha doin' for the day thing?"

"Dunno." Nick pulled his hair back. "Maybe go shoppin' with AJ and Howie."

"Bor-ing! Shopping is for girls. Let's go shoot hoops."

"Cool, Frick!" The blond's face broke into a grin. Brian hadn't asked him to play basketball in ages. Some small part of Nick still hoped that things could go back to the way they were, and he and Bri could be buddies.

"And maybe we'll play somethin' else later." Brian whispered.

So Kevin went riding alone. Actually he went with a nice woman from the stable, but he wanted to be with Nick. Even with the cameras there for part of the ride it would have been fun.. kind of romantic.

Alone again late that night, Kevin lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep, but that was nothing new. His mind felt like it was racing a thousand miles an hour in a hundred different directions: their new album, their switch to Jive, Brian's strange recent behavior, Nick... He wished he could call Nick, but he didn't want to wake him up. Poor guy needed his sleep. He wished Nick could sleep with him. Kevin smiled at the thought of the blond spooned up next to him, his arm protectively around Nicky. He'd shelter him from his abusive parents, from Brian. He wanted to believe that everything would be okay, but he knew it was more complicated than that.

He was startled out of his reverie by a quiet knock at the door. At 3 AM? Who could it be? He felt hope mixed with apprehension as he leapt off the bed and reached the threshold in half a step. He flung open the door--and there was Nick. Leaning against the door frame, a wide grin on his face.

Kevin could smell the alcohol before Nick even said a word.

"Hi Kev. I, uhh, couldn't shleep. C'n I come in?"

"If you don't fall in first." Kevin said cooly, stepping back.

In fact, Nick stumbled and Kevin had to reach out and catch him. "Shorry! " Nick grinned foolishly again. "I'm a little buzzed I guess."

"You're wasted, Nick!" Kevin's voice was more concerned than angry. "Why?"

"I dunno, bored." Nick shrugged. The door closed as Kevin sat the blond on the edge of the bed. Then suddenly Nick put his head in his hands and burst into tears. "What's wrong with me!?" He wailed, his whole body shaking with the violence of his emotional outburst.

Even Kevin was shocked by this breakdown. He sat next to the youth and put his arms around him comfortingly. "Nicky, baby, tell me what's wrong." He whispered, his lips almost touching Nick's ear.

"I -- I don't know! I just feel so shitty all the time, not like I feel sick, but I feel... sad I guess." He snivelled and wiped his nose on his shirtsleeve. "I should be happy 'cause we're going to Jive and getting away from Lou, and Millennium will be out soon. But I just feel like crap all the time. Well, except when I'm with you, I feel better." He smiled his crooked little smile.

Kevin hugged him a little tighter. "Then why didn't you call me -- before you emptied the minifridge?"

"I didn't want to seem like a leech." Nick looked at the floor. Tears still flowed from his eyes, but at least he wasn't sobbing any more.

Kevin sighed. "Nicky, Nicky. Don't you understand? I love you. You'll never be a leech." He tenderly brushed the blond's hair away from his face. "I want to be with you all the time! It's just that I don't think we're ready to tell the other guys about this."

"Especially Brian."

"Well, this situation with Brian can't go on much longer."

"That was the other reason I came over; I was afraid he was gonna come to my room. He wanted to do it again after the concert but I told him I wanted to rest awhile first."

"Can't you just say no?"

"Last time I tried to say no flat out he got real mad, called me names. Faggot. Queer. Sodomite. He said I was a dirty whore and he would tell everyone about me."

Kevin sighed. What had come over his cousin? "Nick, don't you understand that he can't say a word to anyone without revealing that he is all those things too. And he wants his cut of the record deal as much as anyone."

"It all makes sense when you say it now, but when Brian says it I almost believe he would talk. He's messed up Kevin, he's changed."

"You're right about that. I think maybe he's as scared as you and me -- maybe more so. And the only thing he can do is get angry."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared that he is what he accuses you of being. And you know how religious Brian was brought up. 'Sodomy' is just about the worst crime on the calendar. He's gay and he can't deal with it, so he takes it out on you."

"That's not fair." Nick sniffed.

"Life ain't fair, buddy." Now go wash your face and brush your teeth, and let's go to bed."

Nick looked up at Kevin eagerly. "I can stay here? You don't mind?"

"As long as you don't throw up on me."

"I'm not THAT drunk."

"Somehow that doesn't reassure me." Kevin sighed.

To be continued...

End of Part 22!

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