Usual disclaimer applies: This is a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the orientation, beliefs or anything else about the real members of 'N Sync or anyone else. If you are under 18, or are offended by graphic depictions of homosexual relationships, please go away.
Thanks to all those who have emailed me! I love to hear from you (especially if you like it). Constructive comments welcome, flames ignored. Story content copyright 1999 T. Kevin. lictor (at) aol (dot) com
Author's Notes: I hope everyone was able to see the MTV "All Access" special last week, lots of Lance being rather hammy (in his endearingly dorky way--where did he learn to dance like that?). Justin's hackey shot to the face will go down as a classic!
This chapter has been tough to write; you'll probably guess why when you read it. It's my last installment before I get to see the guys on the 28th!!! (Can you say 'excited'?) Anyway, hope you enjoy it and as usual your comments are always welcome!
Kevin ----
'N SYNC: LANCE 'N' JC
CHAPTER FIVE
Justin pulled himself out of the huge pool, his Abercrombie surf trunks hanging low on his slender hips. He dripped across the tiled deck and sprawled on a chaise lounge next to Terry. The entire pool and deck area was deserted except for them, but for some reason it didn't seem odd. The lanky blonde closed his eyes and relished the sun's warmth on his face and body.
"How's the water?" Terry asked. He sounded strangely far away.
"Perfect."
"Better put some suntan lotion on."
"In a minute." Justin felt himself already drifting off, like his chair was literally floating on air.
"I'll do it for yah, Curly."
The thought of Terry putting suntan oil on him made him a little uncomfortable. Or was it nervous... nervous because he was afraid that he would like the feel of another guy's hands on his body?
Even as he wondered this, a shadow fell across him and Terry sat on the edge of his chaise. He kept his eyes shut as strong hands gently began to massage lotion onto this shoulders, his arms, his hairless chest. A little moan escaped Justin's mouth as the hands sensuously rubbed his stomach, teasing along the waistband of his swim trunks. He was getting a hardon, but he didn't care. When Terry's hands left his body and he stood up Justin realized that he was sorry the massage had stopped.
But then Terry sat down again -- straddling his lap!
Justin shivered from the intense excitement of this kind of contact with another man. Then, without thinking, he reached up and pulled Terry forward, down so he was lying on top of Justin. He didn't care if anyone saw them. Their bare chests were pressed together and he could feel Terry's erection pressing against his own through their suits. He realized that he wanted to kiss Terry... he opened his eyes... and JC was smiling down at him!
"You!" Justin gasped.
"Of course, baby." JC leaned closer. "I've always loved you Justin... and I know you love me too."
Their lips touched... Justin's body arched from the incredible, electric pleasure that came from that kiss. He gave himself over to the embrace, wrapping his arms around his lean lover and hugging him with all his strength. "I love you, JC!" He cried out.
RING! RING! RING!
Justin sat bolt upright in bed, his eyes wide with shock. He was short of breath, and he had a raging hardon. 'Oh my gawd what a dream!'
He rolled across the bed and picked up the phone only long enough to hear the automated wake-up-call voice before slamming it down again. Then he curled himself into a fetal position under the covers. 'I was kissing JC! I was kissing JC and I liked it!' He hugged at a pillow and clenched his eyes shut. 'Oh God please, I can't be gay, I can't!' He prayed. 'What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I have these feelings, these dreams?'
But he knew the truth. He loved JC. That was not really news, he told himself. But now, something was going on between JC and Lance, and made Justin wonder just how he loved JC.
His eyes filled with tears of anger, frustration... and fear. He was afraid his world was falling apart around him.
Justin cried for nearly an hour, until he couldn't cry any more. Finally he hurled the pillow away and got up again. He had stuff to do; his life had to go on. He had a responsibility to his friends and his family. He just had to put his feelings for JC aside, like he had before. He didn't know why it was so much worse this time: was it the fear of almost losing JC? Was it Lance? But he'd been jealous of JC and some girl and lived through it before; he would again. Time to put on the 'Carefree Justin' face and deal -- like he always did.
Lance and JC managed to finish their shower in a hurry; both were a little self- conscious after their unabashed lovemaking. JC ran to his room; he and Lance dressed in a frenzy and met up in the elevator lobby. Lance smiled shyly at his lover and reached out for his hand. Their fingers interlaced and they moved closer together as they waited for an elevator.
Joshua smiled back and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You are so cute."
Predictable as a sunrise, Lance smiled and looked at the floor, blushing.
They boarded the empty elevator, and as it descended Lance asked "I'm gonna call my mom after the interview, would you, hang with me?"
"Of course, if you want me to." Are you going to tell her...?"
"No! Not yet. I want to tell her and my father face-to-face."
JC started to say something but the doors opened.
Still hand-in-hand they rushed along the deserted corridor to the media wing of the resort -- specially built to cater to the many celebrity clients -- and quickly found the studio suite. As they pushed open the soundproof doors they reluctantly separated; but their closeness did not entirely escape notice.
Everyone else was already gathered in a lounge next to the room where they would hold the live interview. Alex and his assistant were there with John Norris and a couple of MTV staff people. Chris and Justin were already grazing at the laden buffet table; Joey dozed on a sofa. TV monitors showed the adjacent studio which was buzzing with preparations.
Live interviews were a nightmare for any band's management PR, always paranoid that their stars will blurt out some career-ruining gaffe.
The guys of 'N Sync had varying feelings about live interviews. Justin and Chris thought it was a rush, Joey and JC were a little reticent, and Lance was usually downright shy and rarely said anything.
"There you are!" Alex glared at Lance and JC. "You're late again; you know we have a tight schedule you two."
"Sorry!" JC gave him a winning smile. "Guess that 'almost drowned in the ocean' excuse has worn thin already." His voice dripped uncharacteristic sarcasm.
Alex ignored it. "Get over to makeup while I finish going over the interview questions. We'll have a quick briefing and then we are live on TRL at ten after noon."
The boys got their makeup done and then joined John on the sofa. They all liked John Norris; even though he would playfully dis them on camera sometimes for being a boy-band, he treated them professionally and didn't play games in interviews. Lance closed his eyes and tried to relax while JC and John talked about the accident.
At the buffet table, Chris kept poking Justin, trying without much success to cheer up the uncharacteristically quiet blonde. "What's eatin you, Curly?" He finally demanded.
"Nuthin, I jus' didn't sleep too good." Justin pouted. Then, when he realized that Chris wasn't going to accept that as an answer, his resolve to keep his problems to himself weakened. He figured maybe he could put a spin on it and still get it off his chest with Chris. "You notice anythin' strange about Lance an' JC?".
"Strange how, like they are possessed by aliens?" Chris snorted. "They seem okay to me. In fact I thought something like that accident would have upset Lance more. He seems totally fine."
"That's what I mean!" Justin's expressive eyebrows arched. "Man, I'm still having nightmares and getting the shakes! I see them out there in the water and I can't reach em..." He shook his head as if just thinking about it still upset him. "But they're relaxed and cuttin' up. And something else..."
Chris rolled his eyes and leaned closer dramatically, sending his braids whirling. "What?"
Justin made sure that no one was listening and leaned even closer to Chris' ear. "I saw them holding hands as they came in here."
"Not!" Chris yelped, jumping back. Reflexively he looked over at Lance and JC They weren't holding hands, but they were sitting very close. JC had his arm on the back of the sofa behind Lance... and his hand was touching the blond boy's shoulder. Lance was sitting low on the sofa so his head was against JC's arm. They did seem sort of 'cozy', he thought, though JC always seemed to have is arm around Lance.
JC was chatting away with John Norris on his other side. Lance wore his usual blank expression: dreamy, distant, looking at nothing in particular. Then he blinked and those pale green eyes locked on Chris with unnatural awareness, as if he suddenly new he was being talked about. He arched his eyebrows and smiled.
Chris looked away guiltily.
"Seeee?" Justin hissed, jabbing a finger in Chris' face.
"So? They were alone together on that beach for a while, just the two of them. It's cool if it made them closer buds."
"Mebbe" Justin pouted, unconsciously raking his fingers over his lean chest and abs under his tight wife beater. "I've been wondering if they weren't, ya know..."
"No, what?" Chris cocked his head in mock annoyance.
"Ya know... lo-vers."
Chris blinked. That had actually thrown him off for a moment. "Well, just 'cause they're close doesn't mean their boinking each other man! Jeez, you got a dirty mind! Whatever even makes you think either of them is gay?"
Justin cocked an eyebrow and just stared at him.
"Okay, we can't figure Lance and his 'I'm just shy' and I'm a gentleman' crap, but JC, no way! Although..." He smirked lecherously at the youngest member of the group, "Remember when we shot that Christmas video, JC had a hissy-fit because he just HAD to sit next to Lance on the sleigh, and the director yelled at them twice to stop dancing with each other and dance with the girls they hired."
"Oh yeah! I remember dat!" Justin scowled. He felt himself getting angrier. "They are always dancing together when we go out clubbin." He remembered when JC used to dance with him at parties, back when the were younger. JC and he had kind of drifted apart in the last few years.
"Well," Chris went on between bites of his second sandwich off the buffet, "What if they ARE doin' the nasty, does it bother you? I mean, if they're gay?" Chris looked intently at the boy.
Justin looked at Lance and JC and felt a sharp pain in his chest. 'God what is happening to me?' His mind was reeling. His vision was blurring from tears. He stared at his plate without really seeing it, trying to hide his face from Chris. "I guess not."
"Good. Me neither. I mean, I don't want to know too much about it, but if they are happy, I'm happy for them. Just so the fans don't get wind of it."
"Yah." Justin furtively glanced again at the pair on the couch. JC's fingers were now idly caressing Lance's shoulder while he talked. It was killing him to watch JC touch Lance that way, but he couldn't stop staring.
"You know what I think? I think you're jealous." Chris poked him playfully in the stomach.
"Not!" Justin snapped.
"Jeez!" Chris muttered as the younger boy skulked off. "Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed!"
Justin went to a corner away from the others and collapsed in a chair. It was like a dam had broken inside him after his dream last night. Feelings he'd kept buried deep down were now overwhelming him. He was drowning... he wanted JC so bad: just to hold him. Justin suddenly felt so desperately lonely. There was no one he could even talk to about this. Chris and Joey wouldn't understand; his mom would freak if she knew. Justin put down his plate and walked out of the room before he lost it completely.
After John excused himself to check on final preparations for the interview, Lance touched JC on the knee.
"Yeah babe?" JC whispered.
"I think we're busted." The blond youth murmured.
JC furrowed his brows. "What do you mean? By who?"
"A minute ago Justin and Chris were just staring at us and whispering like gossipy schoolgirls."
JC laughed out loud. "You know how to turn a phrase man! But Justin is always acting like a schoolgirl, you know that. I think he fantasizes about being a dancer in Britney's 'Baby One More Time' video just so he could wear one of those uniforms."
It was Lance's turn to laugh at the picture of Justin in a school girl plaid skirt, combined with his little white tanktop. There was something kind of kinky-sexy about it... He leaned back against JC's arm with a smile.
"Should I be jealous?" JC asked.
Lance looked into his boyfriend's blue eyes, still smiling. "You know the answer to that, Joshua Chasez. But maybe Justin is jealous of us. I told you Joey was worried about him"
JC frowned. "I hope that's not it. Maybe he's just curious." he smirked.
"I think we should tell the guys." Lance said seriously.
JC knew that tone of voice: Lance had already decided. He was a little annoyed; this certainly was something that affected both of them. "Don't you think it's kinda soon, I mean we've only known ourselves for few days!"
Lance smiled up at him. "I wouldn't say anything unless you're comfortable with it. I just hate having to pretend. Can we talk about it more later?"
JC's heart ached. God how he loved this guy! He fought back the urge to kiss Lance right there.
But Lance had read his mind. "Let's go for a walk."
JC told the MTV people that they wanted to use the bathroom, and they slipped out after being reminded that the interview was in just 25 minutes. As soon as they were in the dim hallway their hands sought each other. "Maybe you're right." JC sighed. "I hate keeping secrets."
Lance didn't answer but pointed to the bathroom. They were barely inside when JC took the shorter boy in his arms and hugged him tight. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"
"Not in the last few minutes," Lance smiled. "But I never get tired of hearing you say it." He hugged JC back, and rested his head on his shoulder.
"Somebody might come in, let's go in there."
"I guess if we're going to mess around in a bathroom, at least it's a nice bathroom." JC whispered with a giggle.
They walked past the marble counter with its polished brass fixtures to the toilet stalls. All had floor-to ceiling walls and full doors with louvered panels.
They went into the large handicapped stall, and JC slammed the door.
"What if a handicapped person needs to use the bathroom?" Lance asked mock- plaintively.
In answer the taller youth only smiled as he bodily pushed Lance against the wall and cupped his muscular ass in his hands.
"I guess they can wait." Lance managed to observe before JC's mouth covered his. He spread his legs and JC ground their crotches together provocatively. Their kissing grew more passionate and their hands roamed over each other's bodies. JC slid his tongue between Lance's sensuous lips and the blonde eagerly opened his mouth to accept it. Their tongues fought playfully while they both moaned in pleasure.
Both were too busy making out to consider that the stall door wasn't locked. Neither of them heard someone silently enter the room, but the intruder certainly heard the noises and low whispers coming from the last stall...
"Lance, baby, jeez you are so hot!"
"Ohhhh JC, hold me, don't let go -- ever!"
"Mmm you feel so good in my arms..."
Then, the distinctive sound of a belt buckle being undone, followed by Lance's hoarse words: "Hey, what are you--"
"Lance baby I need you so bad!"
JC -- J... C... ohhh, man, you gotta stop... ohhhh..." Lance's deep voice slipped even lower into a groan of animal passion.
Justin Timberlake stood in the center of the bathroom. He felt guilty and hurt and jealous, but at the same time he was kind of turned-on. His dick was hard and aching in his jeans as he eavesdropped on his friends. 'Oh god, they really are gay! What are they doing in there?' He couldn't stop himself. He tiptoed closer to the stall, hoping to catch a glimpse through the cracks between the louvers. But he assumed the door was locked and leaned against it to get a better view. The door swung wide open, and Justin got a view far better than he'd hoped.
Lance was leaning against the wall, his t-shirt pulled up and stretched behind his neck to bare his smooth lean chest. His head was thrown back in pleasure, his eyes squeezed shut; his jeans were around his ankles. JC was half kneeling, his shirt off. He had a hand on one of Lance's pecs, his mouth on the other, with Lance holding his head against it. JC's other hand was jammed down in Lance's black Calvins...
Justin stood frozen for a split second, taking in this scene which graphically proved his worst fears -- and one of his secret hopes. Then he started to back away; this was too much for him to handle.
But Lance just then opened his eyes and saw Justin. For a second he was paralyzed in shock, before he quietly said "Uh oh."
JC's reaction when he heard Lance was more immediate. "What the hell!" He jumped up and lunged for Justin.
The younger boy eluded him at first, but JC got a grip on his arm before he could get out of the bathroom. Justin gave up struggling when he saw the anger and fear in his friend's eyes. "Oh damn I am so, so sorry, I was jus', uhh, I was, it was an accident!" Justin's eyes filled with tears.
"Well, now you know." JC said with resignation, releasing Justin.
"Is' cool guys, really!" Justin said pleadingly. "I am totally cool with it!" But Justin wasn't cool with it at all. He fought back tears of anger and hurt. His worst fears were borne out: Lance and JC were... lovers.
Justin had looked up to JC since they were kids in the Mickey Mouse Club together; and now with 'N Sync the five of them were all a team. This thing between Lance and JC messed up the balance. And one more thing -- the most important thing:
He really was in love with JC. Seeing him with Lance was breaking his young heart. He couldn't even hate Lance; it was impossible to hate polite little Lance. That left no one to blame but himself. Justin just wanted to die... anything to end this terrible pain. Finally he couldn't hold back and started bawling like a baby.
JC took Justin in his arms and caressed the trembling boy's back. "Shhh, shhh, it's okay, Curly. I'm still your best buddy, man."
Justin didn't dare say anything, especially with Lance in the room, but he longed to tell JC his feelings -- even if it was too late. And it felt so good to be in JC's arms!
Lance emerged from the stall, fully dressed again. He frowned when he saw Justin and JC embracing. "Uh, we should get back for the interview, guys." He said softly.
Justin reluctantly allowed JC to pull him away, sniffling loudly. Lance got him some tissues and he unceremoniously blew his nose. "Aw, look at what you guys made me do! My makeup's a mess now."
The other boys smiled at Justin's attempt at levity.
"Justin..." JC began hesitantly, "You gotta promise you won't tell the other guys until we're ready."
Justin frowned. "Okay, but they're gonna find out -- if they don't suspect already that you guys are messing around."
JC sighed. "It's not just 'messing around.' Lance and I are, well, we're in love." He took Lance's hand as if to reinforce his statement.
Justin stared at them. This was just too much -- did they have to throw it in his face? "Just like that? Or have you been 'in love' for months -- or years -- now? I don' get it man. And why are you keepin' it a secret, like the rest of us wouldn't be cool with it."
"I think we were each scared to tell each other our feelings until we were marooned out there alone." Lance said. "But I've... felt this way... about JC for a long time.
"And I've wanted to tell Lance for forever it seems." JC smiled at his lover.
Justin felt sick in the pit of his stomach. He glared at JC, unable to hold his feelings back any longer. "What about you an' me?!" He yelled. "Don't you feel anything for me!?" He started crying again, his angelic face contorted in pain.
"Justin, I love you too, but not the same way I do Lance. You wouldn't want me to anyway, man. You're not gay, after all --"
"How do you know!?" Justin screamed, backing away. "You're too busy fucking Lance in the fucking bathroom to know about me anymore! Maybe I am gay! Maybe I love you, too, JC! What about that!?" Before JC could stop him, Justin ran out the door.
"My god, what was that about?" JC said quietly as the door closed.
"I don't know. Do you think he meant it? Is he gay too?" Lance didn't add the question that really troubled him: 'and is Justin in love with you?'
"I don't know, but we're going to have to do something before this tears us apart." JC said grimly.
John Norris could sense a certain unusual tension among the members of 'N Sync from the moment they all gathered on the set.
Justin, who was usually a playful bundle of energy, skulked around frowning. It even looked like he might have been crying. JC and Lance seemed preoccupied, and even Joey acted very serious. Only Chris livened things up with his typical joking around.
Before the director could place them, Lance and JC plopped on the small sofa with Chris, while Joey and Justin sat on the floor in front of them. JC put his arm around Lance. At first the director moved his arm, but then JC defiantly put his hand on Lance's knee.
The director shook his head. "Hey, it's your rep, JC. You can sit in Lance's lap for all I care."
At that the other three all turned and looked at them. Lance blushed.
"We were just jokin' around!" JC snapped, putting his arm across the back of the sofa behind Lance again.
"Nobody's laughing, JC." Justin muttered. Then he saw Terry standing in the shadows with his digital camera, looking at him. When he caught Justin's eye he broke out in a big, plaintive grin as if to say 'Hey! Smile please for me?' At least it seemed that way to Justin. He managed a little smile back. Terry gave him a thumbs-up.
Technicians ran around furiously wiring the guys with mikes and in-ears so they could hear Carson in New York (and prompts from Alex if they didn't have an answer ready for John's questions), while a woman touched up their makeup. She clucked her tongue at Justin. "I can't do anything more with your puffy eyes, son, I'm sorry."
"Dat's okay." Justin shrugged. "It's my own damn fault."
"All right everybody!" The director called out. "We're live in four... three... two... "
"We're back, here in the MTV studio in New York! Look at all those people down there in the cold rain!" He gestured to a wet mob on the street chanting "'N -SYNC! 'N- SYNC!" and holding up signs. "The guys of 'N Sync aren't even here in the flesh and they generate a big crowd. You just can't beat that with a stick! Anyway, we've got the boys live from Hawaii with John NorrisÉ John are you there?"
"Right here on the beautiful Big Island of Hawaii, Carson. February weather is a little nicer here than in New York, I can tell you that. I'm here with Joey, Justin, Lance, JC and Chris of 'N Sync. So guys, what brings you to this island paradise? "We're here to film a new video and do some work on our upcoming album before our tour starts." Joey answered.
"So your tour is starting next month, right?" He asked them as a group.
"Yep." Chris answered. "The 'Boys of Summer', with Jordan knight and Five. We're really pumped to be touring with them!"
"And I bet you are eager to get to work on your next album. Are you feeling some competitive pressure from the Backstreet Boys, since their second album is due out in May?"
"We're friends with the Backstreet Boys, you know." JC said with a little smile. "We hang together in Orlando sometimes. The only competition between us -- if any -- is friendly."
"And you share the same management team." John noted. They nodded.
"Okay, JC and Lance, everyone wants to know about what happened with the accident, how you got roughed it, the rescue."
Lance and JC looked at each other for a moment, then Lance said, "Well first I want to say that we were very foolish for not wearing life vests at the time. We were very lucky to survive."
"So the two of you were thrown overboard in a storm. What happened then?" John prompted, not wanting them to go into a long speech about boating safety.
"We managed to make it to the beach," JC began, "You might not believe this, but a dolphin actually pulled us to shore. I don't know if we would have made it otherwise. We only had one life vest between us that the guys had thrown out before they got out of range."
"Saved by a dolphin! That's amazing!" John exclaimed. It was hard to tell if he was mocking them or not. "So you guys spent the night on the beach in the wilds of the Big Island."
"It wasn't bad at all, it's not like we were stuck there for weeks or anything." JC demurred.
"I bet it does get cold at night."
"Uhh, not really, we didn't notice." Lance blurted.
"And Justin I hear that you were the lucky guy to find them."
Justin's head snapped up; his mind had been far away. "Uh, yeah, I was with the Coast Guard when we found them." His mind went back to that moment when we was so overjoyed to see them both alive. He really did care for them both so much. 'I should be happy for them and not jealous.' He told himself. But it was hard...
"How did you feel when you saw them and knew they were alive and well, Justin?" John probed gently.
"I was so... relieved, I love these guys." Justin choked out, staring at the floor.
John changed the subject and the director got the camera off Justin fast. He chatted with Chris and Joey mostly about the album, their tour, and their video plans. Carson asked when they would have another video for TRL, and Chris told him about 'I Drive Myself Crazy' which would be released soon.
"And you guys are going to be appearing on the MTV Movie Awards." John added. Are you presenting?"
"Actually, we understand that MTV has something different in mind for us." Lance smiled. "We aren't even sure of the details ourselves, but it sounds very exciting. We'll be doing something with Lisa Kudrow from 'Friends'."
"We'll be looking forward to that! Finally, and I have to ask this question, because your fans always want to know: any of you seeing anyone?" John smirked just a little as the guys hemmed and hawed for a few seconds, then he prompted, "How about you, Justin, there is the ongoing rumor about you dating Britney Spears."
Justin's eyes narrowed. "We're just friends, but who knows when I get back maybe she'd like to go out. She's a really nice, attractive girl." His eyes shot daggers at JC while the other guys tried to hide their surprise.
"Okay, what about you, JC? Anyone special back in Orlando?"
"Not really, as you know, we're so busy --" JC began the usual canned excuse, until Justin cut him off.
"Why don't you ask Lance about who JC is seeing!" Justin snapped bitterly, unable to hold back his anger.
John hesitated for a split second. Obviously there was something going on here; he had never seen this kind of hostility between the 'N Sync guys. The Backstreet Boys did a little sniping once in awhile, but never this crew. He couldn't resist taking Justin's lead, but figured he'd allow Lance an easy out. "What about it, Lance? JC steal a girl from you or something?" He gave him his best gap-toothed smile.
"Uh, oh nothing like that. I think Justin means that JC and I had all that time together the other day to talk so I might know about some secret girlfriend." Lance forced a smile. "But, nothing to tell: no girls in JC's life -- or mine for that matter -- right now. Except our fans of course!"
"Yah got that right, no girls now or ever!" Justin muttered to himself. Fortunately, the mike didn't pick it up. But Joey did.
"Okay, well thanks as usual guys, best of luck on your tour! Back to you, Carson."
Back in New York, Carson Daly had witnessed the whole scene on his monitor. Even more than John, he liked to tease the members of 'N Sync -- and he wasn't as gentle. "Hey, JC! Glad to hear you're not taken, you stud! Are you free for dinner some time?" He asked hopefully.
"Uh, sure, Carson." JC struggled to play along. "I'm available anytime for you babe. And thanks for the roses, that was real sweet!"
"That was our secret, JC!" Carson shushed, then snapped back to his usual host mode. "Okay, enough about my personal life! Justin, I bet you'd like to introduce this next video!"
"Oh, sure." Justin said without emotion. "Here's Britney Spears at number one with "Baby One More Time."
"Well, that could have gone... better." Alex groused after John and the MTV crew were out of earshot. "What the hell is the matter with you, Justin?"
"Nuthin's the matter with ME." Justin snarled.
"We'll talk about your attitude problem later. I want everyone in the Maui Room at two PM; you have the afternoon and evening in the studio." Alex walked out, already dialing his cell phone.
There was an awkward silence as everyone headed back towards the elevators... a silence very unusual for the five guys that made up 'N Sync.
Joey tapped Lance on the shoulder. "Got a second, Scoop?" He asked.
"Sure, Joey, what's up?"
In answer Joey cocked his head down another hallway. Lance looked over at JC, who looked curiously at them.
"I'll catch up with you in a few." He smiled to Joshua, then he followed Joey until they came out onto one of the resort's numberless private verandahs. Joey sat on a bench and gestured for Lance to do the same.
"You want to tell me what's going on?" Joey asked gently.
Lance's eyes widened. "Uh, I don't know what you mean."
"Lance," Joey smiled. "You are such a bad liar. It's one of the things I like about you."
In response Lance hung his head and stared at the brick pavement.
"I kinda know about you and JC." Joey said finally.
Lance's head snapped up. He felt himself starting to redden. "How! What did Justin --"
But Joey raised his hand to silence him. "Justin didn't say a word, though I could be blind and see that something was up with him at the interview." Joey paused before continuing. "One reason I knew was, well, you know my room is next to yours, and the way it's laid out, your bathroom is right up against mine..."
The embarrassing truth dawned on Lance. "Oh. My God." He whispered.
Joey smiled at him innocently. "I didn't know you had it in you, Scoop! I figured somebody was making you awful happy in there if you were making all that kinda noise." He allowed himself a wicked grin.
"Man, was it that bad?" Lance looked at the ground, his face burning. 'I can't believe Joey heard me hollering while JC and I were making love! God this is so embarrassing!'
Joey couldn't resist a little more teasing. "I bet they heard you down in reception." He whispered. "I got it loud and clear, and I had the TV turned up."
Lance glared at him, but it was too late to deny it. "You couldn't hear what we -- what I was saying... could you?" Then he thought, 'Why am I even asking this? It's just making it worse!'
"Well, only once did it rattle the windows, but before that I heard..." He leaned over and whispered in Lance's ear.
If it was possible for the pale blonde boy from Mississippi to turn more red, he did.
"I didn't even think you knew the 'F' word, Scoop." He said after sitting back again, "Much less how to use it like that in a sentence. I guess JC really inspired you."
"Damn you!" Lance whispered, looking away again.
"Aw c'mon man! I'm just playing with you." Joey put a reassuring hand on Lances' shoulder. "I think it's nice that you guys hooked up. I was wondering when you two would finally realize that you were the perfect couple."
Lance stared at him, speechless.
"Yeah, I figured you and JC to be gay a while back, but you needed to work it out for yourselves. And you seem like such a nice match. I am really happy for you."
Joey was just one surprise after another today. "Uhh, so I guess it doesn't bother you that we're... we're..."
"No, man! You are two of my four best buds in the world. I love you guys." He gently poked Lance in the chest with a finger. "Being gay is part of what you are. I don't understand how or why people are gay, but then there are a lot of things I don't understand. All I know is that you are two of the kindest, most generous people I've ever known... and... oh I guess I'm babbling huh?"
"No Joey not at all." Lance hugged his friend shyly. "I'm so relieved that this doesn't bother you. Sometimes I don't even know what I think."
"Don't think too much, Lance. Follow your heart. I see the way you guys look at each other and I almost envy you. JC loves you so much, and it's obvious you love him too." Joey swallowed hard; he was having trouble talking. Just don't mess it up, like I always do." He smiled ruefully. I may not always give great advice, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here, okay?"
"Thanks Joey." Lance managed a smile. "That means a lot to me." Inside he was replaying Joey's comment in his mind "JC loves you so much..." 'Why can't I accept it? JC really does love me.'
"So does Chris know too?" Lance finally asked.
"Chris? If it has occurred to him I'm sure it got bounced out of his head by some other random thing. He may be the oldest, but I swear he makes even Curly seem like Mister Responsibility. He'll be okay with it though. I'll tell you who won't be happy about it, but you can't let them stop you."
"Our management."
"You got it. Alex may be an ass but he's not stupid. And you know he'll report to Lou and Johnny like a good little spy. They won't care as long as it doesn't get out, but this will scare them and their dreams of mega-record sales. The cutest guys of 'N Sync all gay."
"Oh come on Joey, there's still Justin and you and Chris." Lance decided he would see what Joey thought about Justin.
"Get real, Lance. Chris and I don't get nearly the fan mail you and JC do, and Justin is the teeny dreamboat. When he comes out..."
"So you think Justin is gay too?" Lance asked, even as he thought of Justin's tearful outburst in the bathroom.
Joey shrugged. "I wasn't at all sure until the last few days, but he has a thing for this Terry guy. And..."
"Yeah?" Lance had a feeling he knew what was coming next.
"If he doesn't already know about you and JC, he's got an idea. And gay or not, he has very deep feelings for JC going way back. It was pretty obvious in the interview that he's jealous of you and he's pretty broken up. But he'll get over it, please don't let it stop you and JC. It will be hard for Justin, but he's a strong kid, and he'll be all right. This ain't gonna to be easy, adjusting to everything, but we need to stick together."
"Joey, I think I should apologize."
"For what?"
"I guess I've underestimated you all this time; I always thought you were a smarter guy than you like to act, but I can't believe you already had all this figured out."
"Just don't tell anybody, okay?" Joey smirked and stood up. "It'll ruin my reputation."
The two made small talk as they went back up to the rooms. Lance went to JC's and knocked quietly.
A moment later the door flew open and he was facing his handsome lover. "There's my Lance." JC smiled and stepped aside to let Lance in.
"Well, it seems like 'telling the other guys' has almost taken care of itself." Lance sighed and sat on the bed.
"What do you mean?" JC sat next to him.
"Just now Joey told me that he already knew about us. In fact he said he knew we were both gay a long time ago and has been hoping we would get together!"
JC's eyes popped wide open at this revelation. "No freakin' way!" He sputtered.
Lance nodded. So now I guess it's just Chris. Joey said he didn't think Chris would care one way or the other. I think he's probably right.
"Lance..." JC took the blonde youth's hand and squeezed it gently.
"Yeah?" He didn't like the sound of this.
"I waited for you to come up so I could talk to you first, but I need to go see Justin."
Lance flinched and didn't say anything.
"You saw the way he acted in the bathroom and at the interview; he's a wreck. He needs to know that I still care for him, even as a friend."
"You're sure that's all it is." Lance said bitterly. "You've known him longer.
"Yeah, I've known Britney Spears longer than you too, but I'm sure not in love with her." JC said with a smirk.
"I know, I'm not being fair. I feel bad for Justin and I'm trying not to be jealous... but being with you like this is so incredible. I'm... I'm so scared of losing you, JC." He said softly, looking at the carpet.
Joshua got off the bed and knelt between Lance's knees. He took the other boy's hands in his own. "Look at me, James Lance Bass." He said sternly.
Lance forced himself to look into JC's gentle blue eyes. He couldn't help but smile a little.
"Lance, I am in love with you and only you. As long as we are together I swear I will be faithful to you."
Lance felt his heart ache with joy. His vision blurred from the tears in his eyes. "Thank you." He finally choked out.
Joshua stood and pulled Lance to his feet. They wrapped their arms around each other and their lips met in a long, tender kiss. Lance moaned into JC's mouth.
They reluctantly parted and JC smiled tenderly. "Now why don't you wash off that makeup you've made a mess of while I talk to Justin. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"
"Okay." Lance sniffed and smiled through his tears.
After JC left, Lance wiped his eyes and made a phone call...
"Justin!?" JC called as he banged on the door to Justin's room. "Justin Randall Timberlake, open the damn door!"
After a long delay, the door opened slightly. Justin stood there, his clothes disheveled, his eyes red-rimmed from crying. The room was dark behind him. "What do you want, Joshua Chasez?" He growled.
"I want to talk to you." JC said gently.
"I DON'T want to talk to you!" Justin started to close the door, but JC blocked it with his foot. He forced his way inside, and Justin gave up resisting. JC stood in the darkened room for a moment, his eyes adjusting to the dimness while Justin collapsed on the unmade bed.
Justin was so pathetic that JC couldn't be angry at him. He sat on the bed and put his hand on the boy's shoulder.
Justin jerked away. "Don't touch me."
"Justin, please don't be like this."
"How am I supposed to be?" Justin sniffed, curling up in a ball with the blankets. "It's bad enough that I'm gay, but I love you, and you don't love me. How am I supposed to feel?"
"What's all this about being gay, Justin? What makes you think you're gay all of a sudden?"
"It's NOT 'all of a sudden' JC, just like you and Lance being in love isn't! I just lied to myself a lot. Up until now, with the five of us just buddies it was okay. But then I met Terry, and I guess it stirred up feelings inside me so I couldn't lie to myself anymore.
Then you and Lance tell me you're in love... I see you two together and it makes me crazy! I realized what -- who -- I've been wanting and missing all his time.
"I'm sorry Justin, but I can't help the way things are. I do love you, but you're like my little brother. That's why I'm here, Curly. I'm worried about you." He looked over at his friend. Justin looked so young and vulnerable, it killed JC to see him broken up like this.
After a moment he got up and went to the window. "You can't hide here in the dark." He opened the curtains part way so the sun shone in. He blinked at the light, looking out across the pool and courtyard.
Then JC felt a hand on his shoulder. Justin turned him around to face him so they were just inches apart. Joshua looked into his friend's eyes, filled with pain and need. Then before he realized what was happening, Justin had his arms around him and was kissing him, forcing his tongue between JC's lips.
He hesitated for a moment out of shock, then tried to gently push the younger boy back. He turned his face away from Justin's. "Please don't do this, you're just going to make it worse!" He begged.
But Justin held him tighter and tried desperately to kiss him again. "Please, JC! Please, I love you!" He cried. "I know that deep down you feel the same way I do!" He pressed his lean body against JC's, grinding their hips together. JC felt's Justin's hard cock against this thigh.
"No!" Finally JC pushed hard and sent Justin falling backwards onto the bed. "I can't believe you did that!" He shouted angrily.
Justin looked away and laid on the bed, his body wracked with sobs.
"Even if I did have those feelings for you, I've promised Lance I would be faithful to him! I'm your friend, Justin, and I always will be. Because of that I'm going to try to forget you just tried to make a fool of yourself. I'm sorry that this is difficult for you, but you are going to have to deal with it like an adult." He stormed out of the room.
"I love you, JC." Justin whispered. "I don't know if I can live without you."
Outside in the hall, JC fell back against the wall and took a deep breath. He squeezed his eyes shut, felt the tears run down his face. 'God did I have to be so cruel to Justin? Just because he loves me... he kissed me. Justin kissed me... and dammit I liked it. That can never, never happen again.' He swore to himself. He loved Lance and he would never hurt him. But what about Justin?
To be continued...
End of Part Five
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