Note: This is a complete work of fiction. I am not implying that any character within this story is gay or bisexual. This is just my fantasy, so let me have it!!! I'm planning on making this a continuing plot, with twists and turns and everything else thrown in. So please, don't be afraid to send any comments my way. Since I've never been to New York I may need a little help with some scenery and stuff. Please e-mail me at tumbler99@yahoo.com
'N SYNC Savior
Chapter Eleven
"That does suck, Adam. But that's also life. Some people are lucky and others have to wait a little longer. I'm not even sure if JC is the one," I paused as the realization sunk in. "I mean I hope to God he is....he makes me feel so good....but I have to be truthful and realize that I have no idea how things will end." I pulled him in for a hug and finished in a whisper. "You just have to be strong and keep your heart open. You'll find someone soon." We released each other as he wiped a tear from his face.
"I know, I'm just going on a pity trip here for a second." He looked at his watch and let out a sigh. We really need to get to bed, it's really late." He stood up and walked into the bathroom to change while I pulled out my contacts and got under the covers. Before he even opened the door I was out. My dreams were sweet tonight - I saw JC's dark blue eyes, dark skin, and wonderful smile. I heard his sweet voice singing lullabies while I slept. There were no thoughts of Mark, or dark alleys, or rape. I was happy and I wasn't going to let anything take that away from me.
I woke in the little clearing again. The clouds were still under my feet and the sun was still shining down on my body. I wasn't nervous this time; I had been here before. I sat for a moment and really took in the scenery. I noticed that the area behind me wasn't empty like I had previously thought. On the horizon I could make out shapes of trees and buildings and other things. I saw the shimmery water appear on the edge and I knew that whatever was over there was very far away.
I turned my attention back to the trees that were in front of me. I had to find Jonathan again. I started walking forward and was soon surrounded by dark green foliage. The sun had disappeared but it was still light and very warm. The warmth spread through my body and it acted like a miracle drug. I had never felt so full of life and energy. I continued to walk through the forest but kept myself from calling out. I was in no hurry; I wanted to explore.
After making my way through the forest I came into another clearing where a small creek slowly trickled along. The water was crystal clear and I could make out every detail as I moved closer. I could see the dark clay under the water and the bright rocks lining the side. I moved closer and slowly stripped off my shoes. I slid my feet in the water and was shocked at how warm it was. This wasn't like the creeks in Colorado - it almost felt like a bath. I leaned back on the rock and let my eyes close. The radiant sun beat down on my skin and gave me confidence. I was ready for anything now.
"Hello Father. I am so glad you are back." I heard the little voice speak from my left. I slowly opened my eyes as I saw the beautiful face. "I hope all is going well?" I could hear the anticipation in his voice and had to laugh a little.
"For someone who knows everything about me and my situation I'm surprised you have to ask that." I motioned for him to sit next to me as I scooted aside.
"Well, I left you alone as soon as you were all right. I knew that once Adam found you and got you to his hotel that you would be all right. I have no right to watch you anymore." I smiled as I saw his small face look down to his lap. He was scared and nervous and it was a big difference from the first time I met him.
"You have nothing to worry about. I'm not exactly sure how you....um....watch me, I suppose. But I don't mind. You're obviously something special and I'm not going to be the one to stop you!" I took his small hand in my own and squeezed it gently. "Is there anything you can tell me Jonathan? Is there anything I need to know?" I looked into his soft grey eyes as I felt him peer into mine.
"There isn't much. Your big trial was getting over the rape and I'm pretty sure you are doing that very well." He took a big breath as he thought of his next words. "But....there is one more thing." He looked down as he continued. "I can not tell you anything specific; I shouldn't have even told you about me.
"Life is full of trials and pain - experiences that you wish you could erase. But life is also full of love and laugher - experiences that you wouldn't give up for the world. You have to trust him, Father. You have to love him. There will come a time when fate will step in and play her hand - you have to believe in him and work through it. Do not worry about what will happen in the future....just love him with all of your heart and whatever pain you may feel will go away with time." He slowly stood up and started away from me. "I can not tell you anything else, Father. Please forgive me for I can not."
I blinked away a tear and he was gone. I looked around the clearing and called out to him. My voice was hoarse as it echoed through the trees. There was not a sign of him and I was beginning to wonder if I had imagined it all. I was about ready to convince myself that I had when I heard the voice again.
"LLLLLuuuuuhhhhh.....TTTTTrrrrruuuuuhhhhh.....LLuuhhvv.....TTrruuss.....Love.....Trust.....Love .....Trust."
I felt the smile spread over my face as I heard the comforting voice in my ear. He was right - I didn't know what would happen in life. But I couldn't let that little fact worry me. I was going to have to go through life and try to live it to its fullest. "I hope that includes JC next to me for many more years to come," I thought, "but I can never know for sure. I just have to trust him and love him." I felt my eyes close as I started falling again. I wasn't scared this time - I knew what was coming next.
I woke for real a few hours later with the soft, warm comforter wrapped around me. I kept my eyes closed and smiled as I remembered my dream. "He can't be real. There's no way that my future son could be in my dreams now, could there?" I was quiet for a few moments as different thoughts filled my head. No answers were coming so I finally sat up. "There's nothing you can do so just stop worrying about it. Who knows....he may be real. All you have to do is follow his advice."
I heard the sound of a shower escape through the door and I wondered what time it was. I reached over for my contacts and quickly popped them in. I had grown accustomed to them very quickly back in 6th grade and had never had a problem with them. The clock on the counter said it was 8:00 and I briefly wondered why he would up that early.
"He's leaving today," the logical side of my brain reminded me. I quickly jumped out of bed and stretched a little. My neck was better now - you couldn't even see the scratches. My legs were still a little sore and my ass wasn't feeling any better, but overall I knew I was healing. Within a couple days I would be back to my normal self - as normal as I get anyway.
I flipped on the TV and heard my stomach rumble over the loud music. I smiled as I remembered yesterday morning.
"Hey Adam," I yelled. "Do you want me to order breakfast? I think the lady down there really likes me." I smiled as I heard the water turn off abruptly.
"Don't you even think about it," I heard him reply. "You are going to get me in so much trouble if you don't watch it. And I only have a few hours left - I don't want to spend those being chewed out by Doug."
I was about to flip the channel when "I Drive Myself Crazy" came on. I sat back and smiled as I thought about everything that had happened the previous evening. Normally whenever the video came on I would race to the screen and watch for all of those JC moments. His ballet leaps....his look to the sky as he stands behind Lance....when he comes to the front window and looks out....his little solo scene at the end as he completely goes crazy. I loved every moment of that video and I almost died whenever it was over. The thought that I would be friends with the group and possibly lovers with JC had never crossed my mind (at least not when I was thinking realistically). I let out a little laugh as Lance's solo scene came on - he was so adorable throwing those petals over his shoulder. Finally my favorite scenes came on and I saw JC in a straight jacket and then his silk pajamas and then back again. I sat and watched as he sang with so much emotion. I reminded myself to ask him later how he did that while lip-syncing (or singing, which ever you prefer). The video trailed off as I sat, lost in my thoughts.
Adam came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He saw me sitting in the chair and smiled again. "God, you think way too much. Doesn't it hurt after awhile?"
"Nah, it only hurts for guys like you." I stood up and grabbed the clothes I had picked for today. I went into the bathroom as I saw him drop his towel to change. Normally I would have turned my head more to get a good look but I didn't today. I chuckled to myself as I realized how much I liked being in a relationship. I knew I wasn't alone anymore and that was all that mattered.
Thirty minutes later we made our way to the lobby where the breakfast "party" was being served. The band had rented out the restaurant so we could have Adam's going away party; they decided to have breakfast there to kill two birds with one stone. We were early (imagine that) and helped ourselves to the buffet. After filling our plates we sat down at a round table with four chairs around it. I briefly asked myself where the other five guys would sit but I shook the thought out of my head. "You're just a friend - not a coordinator. There are plenty of other seats and they don't HAVE to sit next to you." I popped a strawberry in my mouth as Adam started up a conversation.
We were alone for a whopping 2 minutes when the first person came in. It shocked me when I recognized Justin.
"What in God's name are you doing here first? Aren't you the one who acts like Frankenstein in the morning?" I laughed as Justin's arms slowly came out in front of him and he turned into a zombie.
"Me still very tired....but not going to miss goodbye." He broke down laughing as he quickly filled his plate. Of course he didn't forget a small bowl of cereal to go along with the eggs and bacon.
"Nah, seriously. I couldn't sleep much last night and I wasn't going to miss the chance to say goodbye." He looked over at me and smiled. "But I'm kinda surprised you're up and at it. After everything that happened...."
"Well I really didn't do much yesterday, believe it or not. I spent the whole day talking and chilling with you guys. I don't know if that's normal for you but for me it was a relaxing day."
"Oh man, that was definitely not normal. It was just the beginning of our vacation and we had nothing to do really. Since we were already here we didn't have to travel. That doesn't happen often." He continued to eat as we made small talk.
People continued to walk through the door and I was introduced to everyone that came in but there were way too many names for me to remember. Finally 9 o'clock rolled around and you could see the room just fill up. Our table became crowded very fast as everyone came over to say good-bye to Adam and talk to him. I was included as much as possible but I still felt left out. I reminded myself that it was only because no one knew me and it was his going away party. The attention would be on him for the morning.
I slowly slid out of my chair and took my plate to the waiter who was standing by the buffet. I filled my glass with more apple juice and sat in the bay window. It overlooked the little garden next to the swimming pool and I looked at the beautiful flowers shining with the morning dew. My eyes slowly wandered as quiet thoughts filled my head. I was in such a peaceful trance that I jumped out of my chair when I felt the hand on my shoulder.
"Oh man, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to scare you." I looked into his eyes and smiled.
"You could never scare me JC. I was just lost in my own little world." I sat back down as he glanced at the empty seat next to me.
"Do you mind if I join that world?" He asked seductively.
"I was wondering when you'd ask!"
We sat next to each other as I sipped my drink. I had already eaten so I was full but I wasn't sure if he had.
"Did you get anything to eat? The food is very good here."
He looked over at the buffet where a crowd of people were all trying to grab a plate. "I think I'll wait. I'm actually not that hungry....I'd....um....rather be here with you."
I slowly reached out my hand and grasped his. I squeezed gently and asked him with my eyes if this was all right. He just smiled and nodded back at me, squeezing my hand tighter. "Yeah, everyone here knows about me pretty much. If not, they work for the group and are under a contract not to disclose any personal facts. We're pretty much safe while we're here."
"I think I'd be safe anywhere with you JC." I saw him smile as I started to frown. "God that sounds wrong. Listen....I know this is kind of forward and all....but I really don't like the sound of the name ‘JC.' Whenever I say it, it just doesn't sound right. And every time I say our names together they don't really fit." I looked over at him as I put on my biggest puppy dog eyes. "If it's not too much trouble could I call you Josh? I totally understand if you don't want me...."
He silenced me with a kiss. Our lips, apart for hours, were reunited once again. I felt my mouth water as he pressed into me and opened his mouth. I opened mine and let my tongue roam. We were still holding hands and he didn't try to move this time. After a moment he pulled back.
"You can call me whatever you want Matt, as long as you do call me! Josh is my name you know, and I just use JC because I like it better." He grinned from ear to ear as he continued. "But when the name ‘Josh' leaves your lips it's like an angel singing. It's the most beautiful and erotic sound I've ever heard in my entire life. It makes my heart flutter." He looked down at his lap as he laughed. "That was kinda corny, but I think you get my drift. We can be Matt and Josh, how does that sound?"
"It sounds perfect."
The party wound down after an hour and we made our way to the door. Adam's bags were already in the limo so all we had to do was run out through the mob and we were safe. JC grabbed my hand and smiled over at me as I looked at him in shock.
"We'll be running so it'll just look like I'm helping you," he commented.
"Works for me!"
The guys looked at each other and Lance did a quick "ready, one, two, three," as we sprinted through the lobby. The girls were ready for us, though, and made it difficult. JC had to pull me closer to him as we forced our way through the small hole provided by the security guards. Justin laughed out loud as Chris yelled some comments to the girls.
"Hey, has anyone seen the group ‘N Sync?" He asked with a high-pitched voice. "I heard they were staying here and I'm just dying to meet them. Especially that Chris guy. Man, he's so awesome." Lance quickly grabbed him by the shoulder and made him run harder.
"Come on man, we have a plane to catch." Chris just laughed as he waved to the crowd before ducking into the limo.
"Don't ya just love it?"
"Well, it is pretty energizing but I think it'll still take a little getting used to. But I'd sure like to get used to it," I said as I looked over at JC. He just smiled as he leaned in for a kiss.
"Oh, you will," he whispered, "you certainly will." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he looked over at Adam.
"So what are your plans? We know you're heading home from the airport, but what are you going to do once you get there?"
"Well I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I'm pretty sure the counseling or psychology bit is what I want to do, but I have to get a finish a few more classes to get the major. I never took enough to fulfill the requirements, just my thirst for it. So I guess I'll spend a year or two in college before looking for a new career."
"In Florida?"
"Probably," he continued. "I'll be able to get in-state tuition there. And I already have the house and everything. I wouldn't want to up and leave everything at once," he said with a laugh.
"Well that's awesome then," Justin interrupted. "We'll be able to see you whenever we come back home."
"Yeah, whenever you come back home. That happens, what....every other year maybe?" The limo started laughing as Justin looked over at him.
"You know what I mean. And after this tour we're taking a longer break, remember? We've gotta record that new album so we'll be home for a good two months straight." He seemed proud that he had it all planned out and I had to wonder why he did. Maybe he was just really interested in how long he would be home with his family, but something told me it wasn't just that. There was something underlying all of his talk but I couldn't quite tell what it was. He glanced my direction and when he noticed me looking at him he quickly turned back to the side. His cheeks flushed a little and knew there was something going on. I was ready to make a comment when I felt JC squeeze my hand.
"Matt, do you need some time with Adam?" He looked a little concerned that I hadn't spoken for awhile and he must have thought I was torn by emotion.
"No, we took care of most of that last night. It's just the good-bye now, which will be hard enough." I smiled at him as he pulled me in tighter. My head drooped to his shoulder and I felt very comfortable with him. "Trust him and love him," I heard in my head. I smiled as I realized how easy that would be to do.
We pulled into the airport twenty minutes later and I felt the emotions start to overwhelm me.
"God, this is going to be harder than I thought," I told myself.
"God, this is going to be harder than I thought," Justin said out loud. "You don't realize how much you've meant to me....I mean, us....You've been a great friend and we'll always remember you." He pulled Adam in for a hug and whispered, "I'll always remember you."
Adam let a tear slip down his face as he pulled away. "You guys were pretty special to me too, you know?" He pulled Lance in for a hug. "You keep them all in line, okay? I want you back safe and sound after the tour." Joey came up next for a hug and I was surprised to see a tear in his eye. "Take care Joey. You were a blast to hang around."
"Don't say stuff like that, dude. You're not leaving forever. We'll see you again."
"Yeah, I suppose."
JC walked up slowly and put his arms around Adam's back. "You take care, all right? You were always my favorite manager....I don't want to see anything but good happen to you." He pulled away quickly as the tears started flowing. Adam couldn't speak as he started to hiccup and cry. Chris finally came up and did his good-bye.
"Thank you so much for understand me, Chris. You don't realize how open and honest you are. Don't ever let that go." These two hugged for quite awhile and I was starting to get nervous. I was the only one left and I knew it would be difficult to say good-bye. I had only known him for a day but he had saved me from whatever might have happened in that alley. How was I going to say farewell to him?
"Matt? I have to go soon." He looked at me with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. "You have nothing to worry about. You're going to be all right. I'm....I'm just....just really going to miss you. You'll have to keep in touch, all right?" I couldn't trust myself to speak so I just nodded my head as the tears finally exploded. I rushed into his arms as he gave me a big hug. I stroked his back as he softly "shhhed" in my ear. "Just love him," he whispered. The words rang through my head as I thought back to my two dreams.
"Could it be him?" I wondered. "It couldn't be. He's not a psychic or anything." I slowly pulled away as I heard the announcer call for his flight. I stared into my eyes and I had to laugh at his expression. It felt good to laugh, even though there was so much emotion going through the group. He leaned in and kissed my cheek before turning to leave. He held it there and then smiled at me one last time before turning.
JC came over to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I reached up and rested my hand on his arm as his head came around next to mine. I leaned into him and sighed as I stared at Adam's blue shirt slowly fading in the crowd. I heard Justin sob a little louder as he tried to wipe away the tears. Lance was standing next to Chris and Joey and they were all silent. Finally Adam was out of my sight and I let out another sigh.
"It's over....he's gone," I whispered. JC quickly leaned down and kissed away the tears on my cheek. I looked up at him and our lips connected again.
"Yes, he's gone. But it's not over yet. We've still got some more days here and we're going to make you so happy you came on this trip. Now we should head back to the limo so we can get the day started."
I glanced once more at the crowd for a sign of Adam - I didn't see any. I let a final tear slip from my lashes as I turned to walk away. JC wrapped an arm around my shoulder but kept a safe amount of distance. I knew he was doing it because we were in public but I still hated the feeling. It would definitely take some getting used to.
To be continued....