Note: This is a complete work of fiction. I am not implying that any character within this story is gay or bisexual. This is just my fantasy, so let me have it!!! I'm planning on making this a continuing plot, with twists and turns and everything else thrown in. So please, don't be afraid to send any comments my way. Since I've never been to New York I may need a little help with some scenery and stuff. Please e-mail me at tumbler99@yahoo.com
'N SYNC Savior
Chapter Five
We were interrupted as the door was thrown open. Adam's head whipped to the left as I slowly turned that way also. Lance stood quickly as Joey and Chris stared. Justin walked through the door with a frown on his face. He moved out of the doorway as he turned back to pull someone through the door. Grabbing hold of JC's shirt Justin led him to the middle of the room. I sat quietly in the chair as they walked up to me. Chris had moved out of the way, allowing JC to stand directly in front of me.
I looked up at him, seeing his baby blue eyes peer into my own soft sea-green's. I felt a shiver run through my body as I he peered into my soul. I tried to tear myself away but it was a futile attempt. His powerful aura was too much for me; I couldn't move an inch. I felt a gasp escape my lips as he slowly kneeled in front of me. Reaching softly for my hand he lifted it slightly and held it in his soft, warm fingers. Throughout this all we had not broken our stare, yet it lasted for another long spell. Finally, when I felt like my heart was about to burst, I saw his mouth open as he began to speak.
"That was incredibly rude of me, Matt," he started. "I should never have ran out of here. I....I just....I don't know what came over me." He was starting to stutter as I stared into his eyes. My heart was suspended in mid-beat - my breath had become shallow and smooth. I was in a trance as he continued. "It wasn't you....it really wasn't. I need to make sure you understand at least that much. I just have some issues that I need to work out and your story brought some of them to the surface. Once again, I'm sorry for making you feel worse than you already do."
As his speech reached its end I felt myself become alive. I started shaking lightly, suddenly feeling cold. I withdrew my hand and rubbed my arms briskly, trying to warm up. JC seemed a bit shocked as I pulled back from him but he recovered quickly. Before he did, though, I saw him glance up at Adam, looking for any sign of movement towards me. As I actually looked into his face (which I could do when he wasn't staring into me) I suddenly realized the truth. "I suppose I should keep that in mind. I'll have to explain it to him whenever we're alone - IF we're ever alone."
After recovering, JC stood up slowly and moved to the bed. Once there he continued to look in my direction, not dropping his head like he had previously. Lance was sitting again - he must have slipped into his seat without me noticing. Chris, once he'd moved over, was sitting Indian-style on the floor to my left. Joey was next to JC, peering at him questioningly, on the verge of speaking. Justin had brought another seat to complete the circle we had formed.
I looked around the group of guys and had to laugh. Most of them had eager expressions on their face - it was obvious they wanted to know more. I looked over at Lance and received a comforting smile. It was nice to know that I would have a good relationship with at least one of the singers. Chris was looking up at me and grinning. Okay, maybe two good relationships. Joey was still looking at JC who was finally returning his gaze. There were no words spoken but it was obvious that they were communicating just fine without them. Justin was staring at me and I could tell he was dying to start asking questions. I'd almost forgotten that he hadn't been around to hear me talk about my life.
But suddenly I remembered what had been happening before Justin brought JC back.
"Adam, we weren't finished yet. And you aren't going to get off that easy."
Adam stared into my eyes and could see the determination I had to make him understand how much I cared for him. He laughed lightly and finally gave in.
"All right....all right. You win. I'm the special one and you're nothing but a piece of trash I picked off of the alley floor. Are you...."
"Adam!! What the hell are you trying to do - make him feel like an outsider?" Justin was angry - he no longer wore his beautiful smile. He was starting to stand but Chris stopped him by grabbing his knee. Justin looked down for a split second before glaring back at Adam.
Lance broke the confusion by answering Justin's question. "Of course not Just. We were talking to Matt while you were out chasing JC and Adam dropped a bombshell on us. Seems like ya'll aren't good enough for him so he's going to leave. Of course he's made it perfectly clear that it isn't because of me," Lance joked. He smiled over at Adam to make fun of his crush on Lance. "It seems like he wants to become a counselor or a psychologist and take care of people."
Joey broke in, finally done with his "conversation" with JC. "Yeah....he's gonna go help some basket-cases and wackos. Hey....do you think we should keep him around here for Curly's sake? What do you guys think?"
Chris and Lance started laughing as JC lightly punched him in the arm. I smiled over at Justin.
"Thanks for your concern, but you really had to be here for the first half of our conversation. Adam and I were talking about what happened last night and how much we were going to miss each other. I told him that I would never forget him because he was so special, but he was trying to convince me that I was the special one. But I'm not going to take it. All I did was get myself into a huge mess that he had to bail me out of. That's not special - that's stupid."
"Stupid? You couldn't have changed the outcome of last night," Justin said, shocked. "From what I understand Mark was going to do whatever he had to do to get what he wanted. I haven't known you for long but I think I'm gonna have to agree with Adam on this one."
Chris, Lance, and Joey all jumped in and voiced their opinions. Each of them, especially Lance, made it very clear to me that they were siding with Adam and Justin. JC was still sitting on the bed, quietly listening. I didn't expect anything from him yet. I could tell that it would take some time before his chilly exterior thawed.
"Well, I guess I lose then, don't I? Five to one aren't very good results."
"Don't consider it losing," Adam said. "Consider it winning. You were just told by five of the nicest guys in the world that you were special. You should be honored."
I sat quietly and let that little fact sink into my thick skull. So much had happened in the past 24 hours that I had almost forgotten where I was. And who I was with. Surrounding me were 5 of the most famous men in the nation right now. Every girl (and many young men) under the age of 20 would die to be in my place right now. I looked over at Lance and saw him staring at me. His blond hair was spiked in a crazy mess that didn't look like it could ever be fixed. He slowly brought a smile to his lips as he stared into his eyes. His skin was perfectly clear and smooth, crinkled only with laugh lines. I stared into his eyes once more and he suddenly changed. He wasn't Lance from ‘N Sync anymore. He was Lance, a young man from Mississippi who loved to ride horses and visit his family and hang out with friends he could talk to.
Then I looked over at Justin sitting across from Lance. He was still grinning but had toned it down a little. I suppose he was just another teen who was starving for attention from someone else his own age. "He hangs around a group of guys that treat him like a baby most of the time just because he happens to be the youngest," I thought. "He hasn't had half the experiences that a normal teen has. It's obvious he just wants to talk and get to know me better."
Joey was a different story, though. I could tell he was sincerely interested in other people. When we were talking earlier in the afternoon he had devoted his attention 100% to his friends and me. He always had an interesting topic to get a conversation started but the cool thing was that he knew when to listen. I remembered that Rosie O'Donnell had said that he was just like every guy in her high school but she must have gone to an unusual high school. I was enjoying him thoroughly, but he was nothing like some of my friends. He just had that aura about him that exuded confidence and love and knowledge and compassion. Yes, different from other people, but to me he was just a really cool friend.
Chris was sitting on the floor still, staring into my face. He had that ability to pull away the shadows and the clouds that I put up to cover the truth and my feelings. If I hadn't known he was a singer I would have thought he was a psychic or a median. He also had an unusual aura surrounding him, only his was one of serenity and calmness. I wasn't positive yet, but my gaydar was picking up some soft signals from him. Or maybe it was just the way he outed me so easily.
JC was still a blank wall to me. He had always been one of my favorites when I was back home but he was confusing me now. His deep love of music was something I respected. His ability to flow with the music and tumble also made him one of my favorites. Of course, his looks and voice didn't hurt either. But from the moment I met him this morning I was no longer sure how much we had in common. Yes, he had apologized for the way he acted, but that didn't mean it explained anything. Maybe he didn't have the open personality that I had read about in all those magazines.
"God, why did I have to be so obsessed with this group? Everything that I thought I knew about them is completely different from who they really are. I guess the only thing I can be happy about is that I'm liking the real guys even better than the poster-boys I thought I knew." I shook my head lightly and stopped stressing about the situation. "You're hanging out with 6 awesome guys who are interested in you personally. Don't worry about anything and just be true to yourself," I reminded myself as I looked back at Adam.
I opened my mouth to apologize to him for being so difficult. I heard a low rumble that spread through the room like thunder. My jaw dropped open and I almost choked.
"Chris? Was that you?" I laughed.
He smiled wildly and looked up at everyone. "Yeah. I guess I'm getting a little hungry...."
"Imagine that," Joey whispered to JC.
Lance saw Chris snap his head up but interrupted him before he could shoot back. "Are you guys all hungry? It's actually getting to be late in the afternoon. We should probably eat before the concert tonight."
My jaw, which had slowly aligned itself, dropped back down when I heard that. I tried to speak but my mouth was too dry. JC must have noticed my situation because he cleared his throat to get the attention of the rest of the group. He looked into my eyes and spoke up for the first time since he'd returned.
"You are going to come watch, aren't you Matt? I think I can speak for everyone when I say we want you there."
"Well, I'm not sure if you speak for the whole group after the way you acted earlier, but in this case I think he's right. You have to come watch tonight," Chris joined in.
I looked over at Chris and then at Justin who was kneeling now (he looked like a little child on Christmas morning, waiting to open his presents). I glanced at Lance who seemed to know what I was thinking.
"Don't worry about tickets. You're my friend and I'll get you...."
"YOU'RE friend? What are you talking about?" Joey asked while laughing. "Just because we don't feel such a "brotherly" connection to him doesn't mean he's not our friend." Lance looked over to the bed and started laughing loudly.
"Well, it's obvious that he likes me the best...." he shot back.
"Yeah right. He won't like you half as much once he sees how weak you are."
Justin finally found his voice and looked at Joey questioningly. "Weak? What do you mean Joey?"
"This...." and with that he leaped off the bed with a pillow in each hand. Jumping on top of Lance he officially started the pillow fight. Though he was taken by surprise Lance quickly got the upper hand and pushed Joey to the ground. He grabbed one of the pillows and starting wailing on the older singer without noticing Chris sneak up behind him. He grabbed Lance's waist and started tickling him, finding that one spot which made Lance shriek like a girl.
"Why, Lance....I always that you had the deep voice," I said, grabbing my stomach as I started laughing hard.
"I wouldn't be making fun of him," Justin said. "You look like you have a ticklish spot too." He reached over and grabbed my wrists in one hand, quickly moving his free hand over my sides and stomach, making me giggle and squirm. Adam came to my rescue quickly, pulling Justin to the ground and sitting on his stomach.
"His feet, Matt. Get his feet." I quickly pulled off Justin's socks as I attacked the soft flesh by his arches. He squealed with fake pain and moved his body like a snake. I swore he was going to knock Adam off of his chest but I stopped before he could.
"That's just a taste of what I can dish out. You better watch yourself whenever you want to get into a tickling match." I smiled down at Justin but once again felt my gaze being drawn to JC.
He was still sitting on the bed but he no longer looked angry. He had a huge smile on his face and almost looked like he was ready to laugh. I stared into his eyes and smiled, letting him know that I wasn't angry with him. He smiled at me and I felt the world disappear. Lance was still laughing but it sounded like someone had turned down the volume on the radio. Justin was still squirming but I couldn't feel his legs brush against my arm. JC was the only thing I could see, or hear, or feel. He was the only thing registering in my brain. I felt my lips separate as I slowly inhaled. I suddenly smiled as I knew what I had to do. I wanted to let him know that I was still willing to be his friend if he wanted. I couldn't say anything out loud, my tongue wasn't going to move at the moment, so I winked. I don't really know why I did it - it just happened. But he just smiled wider and dropped his head a little. I swore I saw his cheeks blush. As I felt a laugh rise in my throat the rest of the world came with it. I could suddenly hear Joey and Chris yelling as Lance finally broke free from their grasp. I could feel Adam ease off of Justin as he pulled up his legs into a sitting position. I looked over at the two of them and smiled again, realizing how much fun I was having. "Maybe this won't be such a bad vacation," I thought.
"Okay guys, I think we all know who won. You've never been able to beat Lance in a pillow fight Joey, I don't know why you had to go and embarrass yourself in front of Matt," JC said quietly, acting more like a manager than a band-mate.
"I embarrassed myself? That's calling the kettle black don't you think? At least I'm still on Matt's good side," he said as he looked in my direction. I would have returned his smile but I had once again stopped to look at JC. I smiled very big and would have winked again if everyone wasn't watching us. I knew that this was the time to actually speak, officially telling JC that I forgave him. But how was I going to do it?
Adam had moved off of Justin as the tickling match came to an end. He was staring over at me and searching my face. He did almost as good a job as Chris did earlier in the day. He saw my eyes glaze over as I looked at JC's sweet smile. He saw my face brighten when I heard the sound of his voice. He saw my body respond when our eyes connected once again. He saw it all and he knew. As he softly closed his eyes he shook his head. "I was hoping this wouldn't happen," he thought to himself, "but I should have known he would have had a crush on at least one of them. And it had to be JC, didn't it? He had to be attracted to the one guy with the most emotional problems, didn't he?" As these thoughts flooded his head he heard me speak.
The group was looking over at me to see how I would respond to Joey's statement and were shocked to see a smile on my face. By then I had pulled my gaze away from JC - they didn't see a boy staring at his crush, just an extremely happy teenager.
"Well, I'm not exactly sure what to say to that, but I know I have to say something...."
"No you don't," Lance interrupted. "JC made a mistake and...." I stared into his eyes and he slowly trailed off his words. "Oh, you do have to say something, don't you? I guess I didn't see it that way." Lance looked down at his lap, almost looking like he was ashamed of himself. He hadn't realized that even though I was hurt by what JC did, I couldn't be mean to him or give him the cold shoulder. "I guess we aren't totally alike, are we?" he asked as a smile returned to his face.
"Nope. I guess you can call it that maturity thing. But don't worry, you'll catch up to me one of these days once you get older." Without laughing I turned back to JC. I heard Chris and Justin chuckling and I knew I had gotten Lance with that one.
"JC....I am disappointed - I won't lie about that. From everything I've read and heard about you I figured you were the type of guy who would always lend an ear or a shoulder, and be open to almost anything if it had something to do with a loved one. But, I suppose I shouldn't have assumed that I was anything but a stranger from Kansas...."
"Don't say that Matt," JC almost yelled. "You're not just a stranger. True, I haven't known you for long and I haven't even talked to you about anything yet, but I know you're not a stranger. The rest of the guys are right - there is something special inside of you. I'm just pissed off that I let my emotions get the best of me earlier this morning. It had nothing to do with you - you have to believe that." I saw the hurt in his eyes; I could feel the pain in his voice. My heart melted.
"I know, I know. But it still affects me, even if it had nothing to do with me. Justin told me that I didn't cause any of this - so did you - but that doesn't mean I'm not a part of it now. I haven't forgiven you yet, Joey was right about that, but that doesn't mean I won't. In fact, I'll probably break within the hour and be one of your best friends.... if you want me to be, of course." I stopped my little speech and had to laugh on the inside. I had never been so open with anyone without knowing them first but now that I knew how it felt, how completely exhilarating it was, I wasn't going to stop. "So, the ball is in your court JC. I won't hold a grudge against you if you won't hold one against me." I stared into his eyes as I waited for a response. He peered back as he tried to read my thoughts. I held my lips tight, trying not to smile, and was actually successful for once, but I still felt him pry into my soul.
"You are a mystery Matt, I have to give you that. But I could never hold a grudge against you - I don't think you could ever be cruel enough to make me. And yes.... I would be honored to be in your close circle of friends."
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN....WHAT YOU'VE JUST EXPERIENCED IS WHAT WE CALL A BREAK-THROUGH!" Chris was rolling on the ground and laughing so hard he had tears seeping from his eyes. His sudden yelling had completely ruined the moment that I was sharing with JC but all was forgiven when I saw the rest of the guys. Although they weren't quite as hyper as Chris was I could still see the joy in their eyes. The tension was lifted from the room as everyone laughed and talked. Joey was lightly punching Lance in the arm as Adam grabbed a hold of Justin once again. Chris was still rolling around in his own little world, one that I was beginning to believe he spent a lot of time in. I glanced up at JC once more and noticed him staring at me.
He had a slight smile on his face but it wasn't from laughing. I caught his eye as we both smiled wider. I winked at him once more, letting him know once and for all that he was still on my good side. Then I leaped out of the chair and onto Chris. I grabbed his waist and started tickling him in every hidden spot I knew about. Within 10 seconds he was howling with laughter as he tried to yell "Uncle." When I had finally had enough I leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Justin's already received a dose of my treatment. How did you like yours?"
He looked up at me as he slowly caught his breath, still trying to suppress a giggle. "Remind me to never be on your opposing side. I don't think I could handle another dose like that!"
"Well," I laughed, "that's what you get for outing me in front of everyone."
He smiled wide and winked at me. "Well, we have to take care of our own, don't we?"
Before I could ask him what he meant I heard Lance yelling. Everyone slowly picked themselves off the floor and arranged their disheveled clothing. He started barking out orders as everyone listened. "It's 3 o'clock now and the concert starts at 7. As you know we have to be there by 5 for the sound check and such, so you have 30 minutes to get all prettied up. I don't want you to take longer than that, okay? Of course, I only need 2 or 3 minutes because, you know, I'm already gorgeous...." he said, striking his "glamor" pose.
"Uhh, yeah, sure. Keep lying to yourself Scoop," Chris said as he ran out of the room. Joey and Justin followed, messing up Lance's hair as they went. I was still sitting on the floor as Adam looked down at me.
"Go on ahead, Adam. I remember what room you're in. I just....I need to talk to JC and Lance." I saw Adam give me a questioning look but then he must have remembered that I was a big boy because he slowly left the room, shaking Lance's hand as he went.
Finally it was just the three of us. JC was sitting on the bed, stretching his long legs out in front of him. Lance was standing by the door and looked at me curiously. I slowly picked myself up from the floor and looked at both of them.
"I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here. Like I said earlier, this trip is supposed to be one where I come to terms with my life and learn what it's like to be totally honest, so I guess that's the best explanation I can give. Lance, I really meant what I said earlier...."
"About being a brother to me. I know. I feel the same way." I laughed as he interrupted me and finished my sentence once again. He laughed too as he realized what he did.
"I didn't want you to think that I was just saying that earlier. I have a feeling that we're going to get along quite well in the next few days." I slowly turned towards JC. "And you....I meant what I said to you too, but I want to reiterate it. Chris kind of interrupted us before we were completely kosher."
"Kosher?" Lance asked. "You use that word too?" I looked back over at him and smiled before turning back to the bed.
"I told the other three guys about my life back in Kansas while you were....away....I just want you to know that I've been through a lot more than you would believe and I have a lot to offer. Even I'll admit that and as you've seen, I don't like to take compliments or credit unless it's completely deserved. I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything, I just want you to know that if you have any problems and you need to talk, like the issues you mentioned earlier, my ear is always open. I don't leave friends in the dark when they're hurting...." I paused and wondered if I should go on. Before I could make a decision my mouth was already moving. "And I can tell you're hurting....you're hurting really bad." I looked at JC as he stared at me, stunned. I'm not sure what he thought I was going to say, but I know that he wasn't expecting that little speech.
"Well, I'll see you guys in twenty-three." I walked out of the room quickly and quietly, not making any noise on the soft, plush carpet. JC was still sitting on the bed with a lost expression on his face as Lance started to laugh quietly.
"You've got it bad, don't you? He's affected you more in a few hours than anyone else has in years." Lance looked over at JC with love in his eyes. Not love from a lover - love from a brother. "Don't be scared of him, or of it. He's got a lot to offer; anyone can see that. Now go get ready, you're down to," he glanced at his watch quickly, "uhh....23 minutes," he laughed, "just like Matt said."
He slowly exited the room as he shook his head and wondered how I did it. JC was still on the bed - he hadn't moved an inch since I had left.
To be continued....