October 2, 2000 Derikab@Hotmail.com *Nsync with my Premonitions-Seclusion
If you believe this story is real, you have a wonderful imagination. Believe me, if it was real, I wouldn't be finishing this story. Anyway, Enjoy!!
My brother and I are making a webpage for this story. Once the page is complete, it will have stories, my bio and some pictures of me, my friends and some of *Nsync, of course. Anyway, take a look from time to time to see the progress. Derikab.cjb.net. Also, I will be posting the next chapter on my website earlier than here, so if you want to know when it will be out, email and let me know what you think so far. PS. I hope to have the story up at least by the 25th or 26th. Anyway, check it out.
I do want to thank the people who have been giving me feedback. I love it all and thank you for your support.
Chapter 9 Seclusion
As night fell, we were just crossing the Georgia-Tennessee line. JC had fallen asleep about an hour ago and the others soon followed. Justin sat against the bench were JC was and the other two lay on the other couch with their feet touching. Lance never came out from the bed.
I was getting bored so I slipped out from under JC's head and went up to talk to the driver.
"Hey, Andre. How you been?"
"Great, Monty. How was your Christmas?"
"Oh, it was wonderful. I met JC's parents and he met mine. I really like his family."
"That's good. What did JC give you?"
"He gave me a camcorder. It was something that I have always wanted to get, but could never find the time to buy. I don't remember telling him that I wanted one, but he somehow knew. How about you? How was your Christmas?"
He answered me and we just talked for about 30 minutes or so, keeping each other awake, when I saw a light in the corner of my eye. It came from behind the curtain. Since I was just sitting behind Andre in silence, I told him that I was going to see Lance.
I told him to stay awake and carefully stepped over Justin and went to see if Lance was still awake. I got to the curtain and peeked. I couldn't help to stare from what got my attention. Lance was naked. He was changing and before he put on his sweats, he was just stretching. I couldn't help but look. I knew I shouldn't but I had to.
Lance has a beautiful body. He is a little thicker than JC, but I guess it is bone structure. He is by no means fat. He lifts weights and is built. He has well defined pecks and abs. If I weren't with JC, I would have gone after him a long time ago, given the chance. As he bent over to slip his underwear on, I stepped back from the curtain to retake control of my composure. After about a minute, I knocked on the side of the bus and Lance asked who it was. I opened the side of the curtain and let him see my face.
"Oh, it's you," he said, depressed.
"Well, it's good to see you too," I said trying to sound chipper.
"What do you want?"
"Well, if there is some reason your upset with me, nothing. If your just in a bad mood, to talk. Everyone else is asleep and I was getting bored, but I wasn't tired. Then I saw your light come on, so I figured I would come and talk."
"Well, you figured wrong," he said looking away.
"What?" I asked in a sarcastically mean tone.
"What? What?" he asked back.
"What did I do to piss you off?"
"Why do you think I'm pissed off?"
"Well, for starters, you don't want to talk to me and second, you practically insulted my presence by saying you didn't want to see me. So I want to know what I did to piss you off?"
"Nothing. I just don't wanna talk," he said, lowering his head.
"It's always nothing with you isn't it?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, getting angry
"It always nothing. Your answer to everything. 'What's wrong Lance?' 'Oh, nothing.' 'Are you ok Lance?' 'Yeah, it's nothing.' Do you ever say anything else?"
"Yeah, when there is someone to speak to," he said giving me the evilest of eyes.
By this time, I was getting angry. "What is your fucking problem, Lance? I asked if it was ok if I came and you didn't say anything. So, what the fuck?"
"You're my problem," he said standing up and pointing a finger at me.
"And why is that?"
"Just leave me alone," he said, sitting again.
"Why, so you can wallow in your own self pity?"
"Yeah, I guess," he said then he looked at the floor.
"Fine, I'll leave you alone. For the rest of the tour. Just don't come to me for anything."
I turned and walked out of the room and closed the curtain behind me. After I did, I just stood on the other side and listened to the sounds of the road beneath us. A few seconds later, I heard Lance start to cry. I hated to hear him cry, but I didn't know why he hated me so much. I peeked back around the curtain and saw his head buried in his hands to try and muffle the sounds. I wanted to go and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be fine, but didn't have the heart to do it. Instead, I let him alone and returned to JC and Justin.
JC had taken the entire couch and Justin was still sitting up against the bench with his head back against JC's hand. The only thing I could do, was lie on the floor and use Justin's leg for a pillow. It was a tight fit, but it worked. I just hoped that he didn't mind when he woke up.
The next morning, I was awakened by Justin trying to move out from underneath me.
"I'm sorry, Monty. I didn't mean to wake you. I just had to go to the bathroom."
"That's ok. What time is it?"
"About 5 AM."
As he was telling me the time, I sat up and leaned against JC's couch. Justin excused himself and returned about a minute later. He sat back down next to me and we started talking.
"When I fell asleep, you were sitting on the couch. How did you end up on my lap?"
"After everyone fell asleep, I went to talk to Andre for a few minutes then I noticed Lance's light come on so I went to talk to him. He got pissed and so I laid down and the only place for my head was your lap. I hope you didn't mind."
"Nah, it's cool. Why was Lance pissed?"
"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me. I asked what his problem was and he said that I was."
"Oh. I thought this might happen. I wasn't sure, though."
"What might happen?" I asked.
"Lance is jealous of you."
"Why?"
"Because your with JC. I know about their past and I know they dated. They don't know I know, but I found out."
"How?"
Justin explained that when the group first got together, he noticed that JC and Lance were spending a lot of time together. At first, he thought they were just becoming good friends, but he saw how they looked at each other a few times and knew that there was something there.
"Then when JC came out to me, I knew for a fact that he and Lance were an item for at least two months."
"Did you ever let them know that you knew?"
"No. I figured that I better not say anything. Although, every once in a while, I see the way Lance looks at JC. He is still in love with him."
"I do know that's true."
"How do you know that Lance still loves him?"
"Remember when Tom and I were yelling at each other and I let my premonition slip?" Justin shook his head. "When I left y'all, I went outside. Lance followed and told me that it wasn't true. JC couldn't die. He begged me to take it back. At that point, I wish I could. He wasn't worried about his own life, just JC's."
Justin just sat there with a blank look thinking about that day when tears started pooling in his eyes. I put my arm over his shoulder and pulled him to me. When our foreheads were touching, I said. "Remember my promise to you? I won't let it happen. You, Lance and JC will be fine. Don't worry about it. Let me do that."
Justin just smiled and nodded but couldn't stop crying. I pulled him into a hug with his head on my chest and just said, "Oh, Curley. It's going to be fine."
I slowly rocked him back and forth like a mother holding a newborn. In a few minutes, Justin was asleep in my arms. I just sat there and quietly began to stream tears myself thinking about the three of them. One of witch I love dearly, one who can't stand me at this point and the other one who loves all his friends so much, he just can't imagine them in pain. I looked over and saw JC sleeping peacefully and couldn't help but cry harder. I reached over to stroke his cheek and move his hair from his forehead. After flashing a quick smile, I put my arm back around Justin and sat there crying and thinking.
About an hour later, JC started stirring. He finally got his eyes opened and saw how I was holding Justin.
"What's wrong with him?" JC asked.
Whispering, I said, "He and I were talking and he got upset."
"About what?"
"I brought up the premonition again. I was explaining something and I mentioned that day and he started crying and I hugged him and he fell asleep like this."
JC just smiled and moved his hand to stroke Justin's hair. "He is probably the most emotional out of all of us. He doesn't want anything to happen to anyone of us. He loves to try to protect us, but in reality, he is the one who needs to be protected."
"I can see that. But I thought that you were the 'papa' of the group, protecting everyone, telling them to behave and getting on to them."
Chuckling, he said, "I am, but Justin loves to do the opposite of what I tell him. I know he's kidding so he does it to aggravate me. I just let him do what he wants and he eventually comes around."
JC was still stroking Justin's hair when he started to wake up. He lifted his head and saw JC and myself looking at him.
"I'm sorry, Monty. Was I asleep long?"
"No. That's no problem. I'm here for any of you guys for anything."
JC slapped the back of my head. I corrected myself.
"Well, almost anything."
JC and Justin both started laughing.
The three of us just sat there and talked until the others woke up. When they did, we asked Jonnie, the other driver, if we could stop for some breakfast. He said that he would radio the leader and we'll stop soon. About ten minutes later, we pulled up to some 24-hour café for breakfast. When we stopped, Joey asked if I would check on Lance since I was right at the curtain.
"I best not. Justin, you wanna check on him?"
"Sure."
The others just looked at me with a confused look as I walked past them and off the bus. JC soon followed and asked me what that was about.
"JC don't worry about it. I think he's just in a bad mood and I don't know him that well, so I better let one of you check on him."
"But all you had to do is stick your head....."
"JC, please??? Just drop it, ok?"
JC closed his mouth and followed me into the café. I headed for the bathroom and JC found a table. As I was washing, the door opened and Lance walked in. He noticed me and started to turn around before I stopped him.
"I'm through," I said shaking my hands and walking past him.
He started to open his mouth to say something, but I passed him and turned the corner before he could. I went to the table and Joey got out for me to get next to JC.
When Lance came out of the bathroom, he passed our table and went to sit with the security guards.
"What is his problem?" Chris asked.
Justin and I just looked at each other.
"Who knows? Lance gets like this sometimes. I hope he's not going back into his depression. That would not be good," Justin explained.
"Why is that?" I asked.
"The last time he went into a depression, he stopped eating, he wasn't able to perform well and he slept all the time. He became so weak that he collapsed on stage about 30 minutes into one of the shows." Justin cut Joey off and continued.
"We had to rush him to the hospital and cancel about 3 weeks worth of dates.
We don't know why he gets depressed, he just won't talk to anyone."
We were all just looking at Lance's back as he ate quietly with the guards. Only speaking when he was spoken to.
After breakfast, we all returned to the bus and were headed back on the road. Lance once again headed for the bed and closed the curtain behind him. JC, Justin and I were sitting on one bench and Joey and Chris were on the other. JC put his arm over my shoulder and I leaned down to put my head on his shoulder. He did the same to Justin and the other guys just smiled at us.
"Don't get too comfortable, Justin. He's not only yours anymore."
JC just started laughing and Justin soon followed. The five of us were just talking, for we had nothing better to do. By two o'clock, all of us were getting cranky. We had been on the bus for 24 hours, minus the time for breakfast. We were starting to get on each other's nerves. We had about another four to five hours before we could get in a hotel and go to separate rooms. We just kept thinking that so we could be civil to the others.
When we finally arrived at the hotel, everyone was ready to get off the bus.
Tom and Sonya had arrived about 30 minutes earlier and had our keys ready when we came in the door. JC grabbed them without stopping and headed for the elevator. The other guys piled in, all except Lance. He said he would wait for the next one and walked away. His attitude was starting to get on JC's nerves, so he just said, 'whatever', and let the 'open door' button go and threw a key out the door before it closed saying, "Here's your key, Lance." The doors closed and up we went.
The suite was about the same with the great room and four other bedrooms surrounding it. Two on one side and two on the other. Joey and Chris bunked together as usual. Justin's room was next to ours and the other three guys were on the other side of the suite.
It was back to the same old routine. They would stay at least one night in a city, sometimes two and we would do the exact same thing day after day. I was bored most of the time. I did enjoy being with the guys, but Lance was making it difficult. He still wasn't talking to me two months in. I tried everything, except force. That was my last step. I was getting ready for a change and I told JC that I needed something to do.
"Why don't you come with us then. At least you won't be on this bus all the time. Come and sit with us when we sign autographs, hang around with us in public every once in a while."
"You know why. I don't want my pictures with you guys and people start talking."
"Too late," Joey sounded.
"What are you talking about?" JC asked.
"This," he said turning a paper around and showing us a picture.
"Oh my God!!!!" I exclaimed as I stood up and took the paper from him.
Joey had picked up some tabloid papers at our last stop and he found a picture of JC and myself. It was a picture taken of us in Jamaica. We were at the café and they took a picture of me feeding him the ice cream.
"Fuck," I yelled.
"Monty, it's going to be fine," JC said to try and calm me.
"How? How is it going to be fine with this picture here for everyone to see?"
"Don't worry about it. Nothing is going to happen."
"Yeah, right. You know what will happen? Some reporter is going to see this and go back and search every picture that was taken of you guys and see me in almost every one of them. He's not going to say that I am just some friend, not after this picture. He's gonna put those rumors out there for everyone to hear."
"Monty, calm down. Don't worry about it," Justin said placing a hand on my shoulder.
"I am not going to be your down fall, Josh or the rest of you."
JC just looked at me when I used his first name. I never call him Josh. He got over the initial shock and asked, "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying...I'm going home for a while to let this thing die. Once it has, I'll think about coming back."
"NO!!! You can't do that!" JC exclaimed.
"Yes he can."
We all turned to the curtain to see Lance standing there. He repeated himself and added. "It's probably the best thing to do at this moment. Let him go for a month or so and when you two are out of the papers, he can come back."
As he was talking, I started to glare at him with great disapproval. I know he wanted me to leave, but I also knew he was right, as was I. When JC turned to look back at me, I cleared my face of Lance's glare and smiled.
"Lance is right. Let this die out then I can come back. Plus, I already told you I'm getting bored. I'm not doing anything but sitting around while you five are out. I've watched every movie you have on this bus about three times each. I've listened to every bit of music and read every book I could find. Let me go for a while, please?"
I knew it wasn't his decision to make, but it would make me feel better to know that he agreed. After about five minutes of thinking and pacing, JC finally agreed.
"But, I am going to call you every night. I don't want to do this, but I don't want you to be bored hanging with us either."
"I have a better suggestion. Hold on." I went to the back of the bus where Lance was and before passing I told him to excuse me. He stepped aside and I went to my suitcase. When I returned, I was holding my laptop that Lance, my brother, had given me.
"I am going to let you have this while I am away. You can hook up to the internet and we can chat and email each other everyday. You can keep tabs on me if you want. Lance had already installed one of those free internet accesses so all you have to do is choose the phone number. It won't cost a cent to either of us." I smiled hoping that he would feel better about me leaving.
"OK," he reluctantly said taking it out of my hands.
"I'll put my email address on there before I leave so you can have it and won't forget it. When you finally get yourself an address, email me and I'll put you on my address list."
After talking and trying to calm JC, Justin asked when I would leave.
"Well, I better leave at the next stop. That gives us another day. Before we get to the hotel, we'll pull over and I'll change to the limo and he'll take me to the airport. That way, I won't be in any pictures and I truly think that the reporters will be doubled after that picture."
"Are you sure you won't reconsider?" JC asked.
"JC, I am not going to change my mind on this. I want this to die off before I come back, plus it'll give me time to buy more movies and music. Now, I need to call and book my flight. Where is the next stop, anyway?"
"Houston," Lance spoke up before disappearing behind the curtain again.
I pulled out my phone and called and booked a one-way flight from Houston to Nashville. JC didn't want me to leave, but I reassured him about the email.
He just smiled and gave in to the fact.
When night fell, everyone was exhausted. Lance remained on the bed and Joey and Chris slept on the longer couch as they had before and Justin took the smaller couch. JC and I took the floor after he laid some blankets down for a pad.
When we finally settled down, Justin looked down at us and smiled, saying, "Ya know, you two do make a perfect couple." JC just hugged me tighter to him and we were in dreamland in no time at all.
The next day was our last together for a long time. My plane was to leave at 7:00 pm and we were scheduled to arrive in Houston at around 5. Before arriving at the hotel, the bus pulled off and I switched to the limo. I kissed JC and reminded him about the laptop and hugged him bye. As I walked to the limo, everyone was waving bye to me, except Lance. He was just staring at me through the glass with an evil smile on his face. I let it go and once I was in the car, Lonnie shut the door and walked around to drive me away.
When I got to the airport, I had to wait for about an hour and a half before we took off. The flight was relaxing even though I was still missing JC. After I closed my eyes and was just about to drift off, my cell phone rang. The number that showed on the caller ID didn't register, but I answered it anyway.
"Hello?"
"Hey, baby. How's everything going?"
"It's fine, JC. Stop worrying so much. I'm still in the air. We should be there in about 45 minutes to an hour. What's up with you?"
"Just missing you is all. I wish you would've stayed."
"JC...."
"I know, I know. I just wish you would have. I know you needed to get away. I guess I wasn't thinking by dragging you with us. I'm sorry."
"I loved traveling with you guys, but I was just going through the same routine of being alone while ya'll were performing, signing autographs, giving interviews. It just got boring. Believe me, if there was someway for me to stay, I would've. I dread going to sleep tonight."
"Why?" JC asked surprised.
"Because, silly, you won't be with me. I love to fall asleep with your arms wrapped around me. Your like my security blanket."
"Oh, thanks," he laughed.
"Well, I can't help it. You are. I sleep so much better with you holding me."
"Just think that when you are in bed tonight, that I will be right there with you in my dreams holding you. I'll probably have to hold a pillow. I got so used to holding you that I guess I didn't think about you leaving."
I just chuckled. "Remember, it's only temporary. As soon as the papers find something else to attach, I'll be back. I promise."
As I was talking, a stewardess came up to me telling me that cell phones weren't allowed on this flight because of some new fangled equipment that was installed on the plane. I asked if I could have one more minute to say goodbye. She agreed, but asked me to rush it.
"I guess you heard that?"
"Yeah. I wish they would stop upgrading those planes so much. You can't seem to do anything on your own anymore. It's always their way."
"Well, I hope they continue to update these things. I don't wanna crash. Plus we could use the air phone, but they cost a fortune."
"See? That is exactly what I'm talking about."
"JC, hush. My minute is almost up. Let me go. Why don't you email me tonight? I'll get it when I get home and respond. Listen I gotta go. The stewardess is coming back. I love you. I'll keep in touch."
"OK. I love you too. I'll email you. Be looking for it."
"I will. Bye."
"Bye. I love you."
As I hung up the phone, I was smiling, big. I keep wondering how I got so lucky to have JC come in my life. Not only was he cute, no....gorgeous, smart, funny, loving and great to be around, but also he was the object of every teenage girl and even older girls fantasy. I am the one who gets to live the fantasy; the others will have to keep their dreams.
'Sorry, girls,' I thought to myself. 'He's mine forever.'
My thoughts were interrupted by a nice looking man, about 30 years old, leaning over to me.
"Boyfriend or girlfriend?"
A little dumbfounded by the question at first, I answered, "Boyfriend."
"Isn't it great to be in love? I have a girlfriend at home that I can't wait to get to, myself."
"Yeah, it sure is. Although, I had to leave him behind for a little while."
"Yeah, I heard. He must be famous if he performs and gives interviews."
"He is. It's tough loving a celebrity. Especially if he's not out of the closet."
"Is he real famous. I mean, would I know him?"
"You just might," I said, looking at him.
"Can you tell me?"
"Unfortunately, I can't do that yet. You'll eventually find out one day, I hope. One day I hope that world will be able to find out," I said.
He just smiled, knowing it was a long shot, but he had to try. He lifted his magazine back up and started reading where he left off. I closed my eyes and just fell asleep.
When we finally got back to Nashville, I remembered that I forgot to call Tony and Mitchell, so I grabbed a cab and headed home. When I got home, it was about 10:30 my time. Tony and Mitchell should be getting home any minute now, so I took my things up to my room and came to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine. I was sitting on the back porch when they came through the door.
"Hey, guys," I called from my seat.
They came out and looked at me funny. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you on tour with the boys?" Tony asked.
"I got bored. I wasn't doing anything but sitting on that bus, and I needed a change. Plus, there is something else."
"What?" Mitchell asked.
"You two didn't break up, did you?" Tony asked.
"No. Wait a minute, I'll show you."
I went to my room and retrieved the paper and came and handed it to them.
"Shit!!! Is that you and JC?" Mitchell asked.
"Yup!! We are in Jamaica and someone took this picture. It's wouldn't look so bad if I wasn't feeding him some ice cream. But because if it, the rumors are gonna start flying. I just hope that you can't see my face in any of the pictures that were taken earlier in the year. If you can, it is surely out of the bag."
The two of them just looked at the picture and read the short story that accompanied it.
"Damn. I hope this doesn't hurt them in anyway," Tony said.
"Yeah, me too. That's the main reason I came back. I'm hoping that in a month or so things will die down enough for me to go back on tour with them."
"Your gonna go a month or two without JC?" Mitchell asked.
Smiling, I answered, "Yes. Why? You don't think I can?"
They just looked at each other then back at me and for an answer they just began to laugh.
"Fuck you both," I said, snatching the paper playfully.
"We're sorry," Tony said. "We didn't mean it like that."
"Yes we did," Mitchell announced, still laughing.
They finally settled down and we talked for a short while. I told them about he fortuneteller and what she had said about me and about the third person completing the circle of our souls. They just looked at me confused.
I agreed with their confused look and continued to tell them of our week together.
When they finally excused themselves to bed, I went and sat at our piano and started playing my song. As I was playing, I tried to think of some words to go with the music. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think of anything. I just continued to play and closed my eyes and thought of the day I played it for JC. I just imagined that he was smiling at me and asked me to play it again. When I did finish the song, for the second time, I went over and turned the computer on.
I went to check my email and there was a message from JC waiting for me when I arrived. He did choose an email address. It was soulmates3 at his domain name. I thought that was appropriate. When I opened it, he had typed a short message for me. It read:
Hey, baby. I did as you told me and decided to try this thing out. Do you like my email address? I thought it was appropriate. Don't you? Anyway, I miss you. I want you here with me. I don't think that a pillow will do the trick, but I'll try. Anyway, I'll let you go. I know you must be tired. Write me back.
I love you now and always.
JC
Je t'adore, Mio amore
I answered him back, telling him that I was thinking the same thing about his email. I told him I loved him and that I would be back before he knew it. After writing our phrase for him, I sent the message and turned off the machine. I walked in the kitchen and took my last swallow of wine and looked at the stool where he sat during his visit. I just smile and went off to bed.
To Be Continued..........
Please email me and let me know what you think. If you do, I will put you on my mailing list to let you know when I have submitted the continuing parts. I hope that you enjoyed the story so far. There is more to come. Derikab@hotmail.com