This is a mostly story. Some of the dialogue was made up to fill in what I couldn't remember. Names have been changed to protect me. This is my first work that i am putting up. If you have any CONSTRUCTIVE feedback, including that you liked it please email me at kuamyin@AOL.com (flames will be ignored)
Ocean City
I lit my Parliament, exhaled and slid down the cold concrete wall to the patio below; Chris sat down in the corner next to me. Jay sparked a bowl and sat against the wet beach towels hanging on the railings. Being caught on a school trip smoking would mean an automatic suspension.
"Chris, ya want one?" I asked.
"Eh, not right now," he replied.
"So Billy. Why weren't you on the singing bus?" Asked Jay.
"It's eight hours from school to Ocean City for the choir competition. I didn't want to get a migraine."
"Billy, don't ya think you're setting a bad example for us 'incorrigible' sophomores by smoking?" Chris joked.
"Aw shucks," I replied. "Okay than, how's this? 'Don't smoke, it's bad for you.' Satisfied?" Chris and Jay laughed quietly. We sat in silence looking at the neon lights from the strip reflected on the clouds. By the third or fourth hit I could tell Jay was getting a little loopy.
"Yo, did you guys see the new pictures of Pamela Anderson in Playboy?" Asked Jay. Well every conversation gets around to sex at some point, might as well get it over with now.
"Nope," Chris replied.
"Yeah, I saw them." I said nonchalantly.
"Oh man wasn't she HOT?"
"She's an attractive woman."
"You nuts man? She's Fucking Gorgeous!"
"She's not my type."
"Who cares? I'd still screw her."
"Well that's you Jay. I decided a few people back to stop having sex just because I can. Sex is boring if there isn't something driving it, whether it's love or lust." I exhaled a puff of smoke in relief, covered that one.
Jay took another hit and blurted out, "So Chris, speaking of sex. You fucked Jen yet?"
I dug my nails into my palm, clenched my jaw and looked out at the strip. LaLaLaLa, don't want to hear this! I flicked my cigarette butt over the railing to the parking lot three stories below.
"No"
No? Did I hear right, or is that only what I wanted to hear?
"So how was she?"
Fuck! It was only what I wanted to hear. I got up, stretched and headed inside.
"Where're you going Billy?" Chris asked.
"It's getting chilly, so I'm getting a sweatshirt."
"Would you grab mine?" asked Jay.
"Sure." I closed the sliding glass door behind me to block the conversation. "Come on Billy, breathe. Don't think about it." I went and got my sweatshirt and put it on. I also grabbed a pen and pad of paper; I could feel a poem forming in my brain. I retrieved Jay's sweatshirt from his suitcase. I waited in the shadows until their conversation died down. It was bad enough I couldn't date Chris; I didn't need to be any more masochistic.
"Here ya go hon." I threw him his sweatshirt and slid back down the wall next to Chris.
"Can I have a cigarette Billy?"
"Sure Chris." I pulled two out of my pack and handed him one. He leaned over so I could light his cigarette. His arm brushed mine and I felt an electric current run up my body straight to my heart.
"Thanks man."
"No problem." I wonder if he felt it? I got up and moved to sit directly across from him. I kept my eyes half closed so he wouldn't notice me staring.
Jay stood up and headed inside, "Man, I've got the munchies."
Both Chris and I chuckled silently. We were alone. My stomach flip-flopped; I wanted to lean forward and whisper how much I cared for him. The silence seemed to last for an eternity. "Looks like a storm is coming." Oh god could I have said anything more lame?
"Looks like it."
"Hopefully it won't be too bad." He took one last drag from his cigarette and stamped it out.
"I'm going to bed."
"Good night hon. I'm going to sit out here a bit longer." Chris went inside and shut the door. I sat in silence staring out at the neon lights of the strip. Ten minutes passed by; then I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the paper and pen. That poem from earlier was back.
Lord the paradigm of limbs and soul
God, just to get a kiss.
To feel our lips together.
Sustaining as ambrosia.
Sweeter than fresh strawberries,
The color of his lips.
Sappy!!! I quickly grabbed my pack of cigarettes and used my lighter on both a new cigarette and the poem. I didn't need anyone accidentally finding any incriminating evidence of my lust. I stood up and stepped into the light. The wind was blowing salty air through my hair and creating sand tornadoes in the parking lot. Clouds were blowing in off the Atlantic. I closed my eyes to the salt saturated air. Raindrops hit my skin as I stood there and listened to the hollow moans of the wind blowing across the exhaust pipes of the cars below.
The boys were asleep, but my insomnia kept me up. I tiptoed through the maze of limbs and suitcase contents that lay strewn on the floor. I stepped past the bed where Jay was sleeping. I stopped poised on the balls of my feet. Chris had grabbed the comforter from my bed and lay sprawled on the floor in his yellow and brown plaid Abercrombie & Fitch boxer shorts. I noticed the brand name on the waistband while visually cataloging every inch of his body. I started with his golden, amber, short spiky hair; moved slowly to the question mark curve of his earlobe, counting each vertebrae of his spine down to its base and the little patch of golden hair. I slid my eyes over the gentle curve of his ass and down the back of his runner muscled legs and their fine covering of hair. He shifted in his sleep. At first I had been frozen with desire, now I was frozen with fear. He settled back down and I continued my inspection. I focused back on his face; I wanted desperately to be able to look into the deep emerald eyes that I knew lay behind those long toast colored eyelashes. The little dimple on his right cheek, and down along his jaw line, past his Adams apple... Oh how I wanted to kiss the hollow of his neck. His perfectly defined washboard abs and innie belly button, God how I wanted to draw my finger down his golden "happy trail".
My body started to shake from being poised on the balls of my feet so long. My face started to flush, and I moved across the room to the bathroom. Click. I depressed the lock and flipped on the lights. I splashed cold water on my face but it didn't stop the tears from falling down my face.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked my reflection. "He doesn't care about you!"
I reached for my smokes and started to pace. 1,2,3,4 floor tiles and back 1,2,3,4. I looked up. His swimsuit was draped over the shower curtain rod.
"Don't be stupid! Don't touch it!"
Too late! I smoothed the pliable material between my fingers. Already I was picturing him dripping wet, walking across the beach towards me. He wrapped his arms gently around my waist; I stood transfixed. Then he kissed my lips. I could feel his tongue sliding past my front teeth. "Don't torture yourself!" Inhale 2,3,4, exhale 2,3,4. The cherry of my cigarette sizzled when I threw it in the toilet. I caught my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks were mottled red and glistening with tears. My breath became shallow, suddenly I couldn't breathe. I opened the bathroom door and stepped into the dark room. I made my way to my bed and crawled under the top sheet. Lumpy, mildew scented, clammy, I couldn't stand to be in the bed for even a second more, so I moved back out to the patio.
The storm had really blown in while I was in the bathroom. The parking lot was full of puddles that reflected neon light from the strip. The wind was hurling rain against the windows and door drenching me immediately. A bolt of lightning slammed into one of the other schools' busses sending sparks ricocheting across the parking lot. Black, blue, and purple spots blurred my vision. A loud clap of thunder shook the hotel. Everyone in the room was startled awake.
"Billy, what the Hell's going on?" Jay mumbled.
"You guys just missed the coolest thing," I said as I laughed and stumbled into the room. "I shouldn't be laughing it's horrible of me, but lightning just hit one of the other schools busses."
"Cool!"
The light Chris had turned on flickered. The two boys were looking out the window when Jay yelled; "The windows are leaking!"
"What?"
"I said the windows are leaking, there is water coming in."
"Oh FUCK! Guys, put all the towels near the windows to soak up the water and put your stuff on my bed so it doesn't get wet."
Knock - Knock. Chris opened the door. "Come on guys." It was our Choir Director, Miss Gillian standing in the hallway.
"What was going on?"
"We all have to go to the banquet rooms until the tornado passes. Put some clothes on and get going."
"What the fuck else could go wrong?" I muttered as we joined the line of people shuffling down the stairwell to the banquet halls. I got to the banquet room and plopped down in a corner and closed my eyes. They still hurt from seeing the lightning hit the bus, and I was getting a headache.
"How you doing kiddo?" Miss Gillian asked.
I opened my eyes and scanned the room. "Next trip, definitely a different hotel!" There was Chris sitting on the far side of the room, with his girlfriend. They were cuddling, laughing and being all around sickeningly cute. I wanted to puke.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. "God just let this night be over." The headache surged in intensity; dark spots were swirling around inside my eyelids. Seeing the lightning earlier was taking its toll. I slumped lower into the corner; the wall and carpet were nearly as soft as my bed, and a lot less lumpy and smelly. I fell into that weird "In Between" sleep, where your eyes are closed and you can't move, but you're aware of the people around you even though you can't do anything about it.