Sorry this took so long! Life has been busy. Thanks for all of the e-mails! They're my motivation to continue writing. If you have any questions/comments/criticism then send me an email at xxcriticalacclaimxx@hotmail.com
Also, if you're not 18 years of age then exit out...but hey, I'm not stopping you (:
P.S. if any of you would like to proofread my stories before I post `em that'd be awesome. hit me up!
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I slid my hand up to her crotch, and it then dawned on me at how my sexual desires had driven me to completely disregard what had happened to Robin the other day. Who was I to initiate sex with a person that was in mental pain? She needs to talk about what had happened. She needs my guidance, not some sex-driven fool, I thought to myself. As a sense of guilt took over my stimulated mind, I withdrew my hand from her sex.
She turned to me, centimeters away from my lips. "What are you doing?" Robin whispered.
I paused and waited for the right words. I wanted to pick them carefully. "I feel like we can't do this until we talk about what happened. We need to sort this out. You aren't okay, and I can see it." I replied. "You wear your emotions on your sleeve. There's no deceiving me."
Robin stared at me for a few moments before grabbing my hand and placing it back onto her sex.
"I want this." She exhaled deeply as my hand made contact with her. I kept my hand there, motionless, as I peered into her face. "But aren't yo-" I started to say before she smothered my sentence with a kiss. This kiss was long and it eventually turned into a make-out. She opened up her mouth and allowed her tongue to brush up against mine. Everyone once in a while she'd bite my lower lip. I could feel my clit throbbing and my vagina starting to moisten. I yearned to be touched, but tonight I wanted to please Robin first. I had forgotten about my hand on Robin's delicate sex, so I put it to use. I gave Robin's small clit a slight stroke. She gasped into my mouth and pressed her face into mine. "Polly...please." She whispered passionately as she pressed herself into me. My hand was still on her sex, and her mouth was still on my lips. "Alright." I growled back into her mouth. She was extremely wet, so my finger glided into her with ease. She moaned into my mouth once again, her breasts pushing against mine. She had removed her mouth from my lips and started sucking on my neck as she grinded herself into my hand. She panted as I pumped my finger into her. "One more...one more, Polly.." She said weakly. I inserted a second finger and gained another lovely little groan from Robin. She cooed repeatedly as I did the "fish-hook" motion with my fingers, rubbing her G-spot. As I drove myself into Robin, I admired her beautiful body rubbing against my own. Her lovely blue eyes were darting around as I worked on her. She bit her bottom lip as I massaged her G spot. She was absolutely fucking irresistible. Things were starting to get hazy, the alcohol that I had consumed was getting the better of me and I was becoming incredibly tired. Although I was exhausted, I continued to make love to Robin with my hands for a few more minutes until she broke a moan to tell me that she was going to come. A few moments later I could feel her walls clamping against my fingers, her body tensed up, and she kissed me harder than she had the entire night. She exhaled deeply into my mouth. She had ended up slightly on top of me by then. I removed my hand from her sex and brought it to her back. I traced her spine, and lovingly caressed her.
"I love you, Polly. I love you so much. I wont ever stop loving you." She whispered. She kissed my collar bone.
Robin relaxed herself on top of me. Her head was under my chin. I could feel her inhaling and exhaling on my stomach. She had wrapped her arms under my torso, and hugged me tight. We laid like that for a few minuted before I felt Robin's breath evening out, meaning she had fallen asleep. I gently pushed her off of me so I could put underwear and a t-shirt on. I carefully got back into bed and cuddled myself up against her. The darkness started to pull at my senses as I tried to concentrate on Robin's actions. The amount of alcohol I had consumed was hindering my thought process, so I gave up, and fell asleep.
I woke up to Kristin cuddled into my backside and her long arms around my torso. I looked over to see Robin sprawled out under her sheets. I laughed to myself as I remembered that we had left Kristin asleep on the table...no wonder she had come to bed with us.
"Mornin' sunshine." Said Kristin as she brought her hand to her forehead. "I'm h-u-n-g-o-v-e-r."
I laughed, again, before I asked her, "Why'd you spell out hungover?"
"I felt like it." She responded, with extreme sass in her tone.
"I always, not sometimes, but absolutely always wonder what goes on in your brain. Grab an Advil from Robin's bathroom you crazy."
From what you've probably already gathered, Kristin has definitely got a personality of her own. She's the kind of girl that will throw a punch if you've found yourself in a fight with some bad people. She's always had my back.
She's been my friend since the fifth grade. We gravitated towards each other in middle school because we were both going through awkward transitioning stages during that period of our life...puberty does strange things to people. I had a weird looking bob cut and I didn't know how to dress. I was also incredibly skinny and petite...more so than the average fifth grader. Kristin, on the other hand, was much taller than everyone else. She also wore headgear and her ears were too big for her head, which people generally thought was amusing. People made fun of us constantly, but we had each other which made it better for the both of us. We eventually grew out of that awkward pre-teen phase, Kristin lost her headgear and over time the size of her ears began to match her head. I grew out my hair and stopped wearing overalls and Minny Mouse shirts. And eventually people started to appreciate Kristin's tallness and my smallness. I considered Kristin my closest friend, aside from Robin.
As Kristin tinkered around in the bathroom I slid myself up against Robin. I wrapped my arms around her waist, bringing her close to my body.
"Hey." I said as I smiled into the back of her head, nuzzling my nose into her hair.
I didn't get a response.
"Hey, hey. Robin."
No response, although I knew she was awake.
"Want me to make you some tea?" I asked as I squeezed her.
"Can't you tell that I want to sleep?" Robin hissed.
The tone in her voice strung a cord of pain in my heart, so I let go of her. This was unlike her. Robin was usually jovial, passionate, full of energy, not this cold hearted person she'd transformed into. Robin and I had been together for almost a year, and within that year we generally never had any big arguments. When we disagreed, we usually came to some kind of mutual agreement which resolved whatever quarrel we were in, but nothing like this. This whole cold-shoulder thing was new. She was normally always by my side, smiling, holding my hand, cuddling me in the mornings. I frowned as I got out of her bed. I bashfully and embarrassedly covered my naked torso as I looked through my bag for clothes. I could feel Robin's eyes on my back as I slipped on my t-shirt.
"Why did you cover yourself?"
"I'm embarrassed."
"Why the fuck would you be embarrassed?"
"Why are you being so harsh?"
"Answer my question."
"The way you're treating me right now. You're belittling me. I feel silly exposing myself to you when you're like this."
"I'm sorry."
"It doesn't sound like it." I hesitated for a while, then continued talking. "We need to fix this. I know you're upset about your mom, but you can't take it out on me. I'm here to love you, I'm not your punching bag."
"You're being way too sensitive."
"Really, Robin?"
She looked away. Kristin came back into the room, I could tell that she sensed some tension, so she gave me a nod and headed out the door. I sat on the end of the bed.
"We're resolving this right now because this hurts. What is it that you're not telling me?"
Robin didn't answer for a while, and then finally, "Give me space."
"What?"
"Space. Give me it."
I paused, searching for the right words. "I'm so confused, where is this coming from? You were okay the other day..."
"And now I'm not."
"Robin, Love, I know that coming out to your parents can be har-"
"I don't really want to talk right now."
I sat there, absolutely stunned. She could probably see the hurt that I was feeling in my heart on my face, and for a second I could see the hurt she felt for making me feel pain, and thats when Robin softened her voice and said, "I'm not meaning to hurt you..." She was being honest, but I didn't really care, I wouldn't ever treat her like that.
"What does `space' mean?" My heart started to pound violently in my chest. A creeping chill started from the pit of my stomach and worked its way up to my brow. I could feel my face flush, and the tears were forming behind my eyelids. I tried hard to not give myself away.
Robin sat up in bed with the sheets around her, covering her breasts. She hung her head a little...looking away from me.
"Space means...I just need to think for a while. By myself. I left out a part about the night my mom confronted me." She sighed. "I didn't want to scare you even more than I already had, Polly. She essentially told me that I was sick and that I had disgraced her." Tears were welling in her eyes as she spoke the last sentence. It pained me. "And I hate that."
"She just doesn't understand!" I yelled frantically.
"It hurts me so much to know that she's disgusted by me...you have no idea." Robin said as tears streamed down her face.
"I love you. I'm in love with you. You're in love with me. We've been at this for almost a year now, and what are you doing right now? Giving up?" I let the tears stream down my cheeks.
"Her approval means so much to me, Polly." Said Robin in the absolute saddest tone imaginable.
"Does her approval mean more to you than my love?" I shouted. After realizing what I had said I tried to undo it, I can't be giving ultimatums like that. "You don't need to answer that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm going to understand now. You're telling me that she means the world to you. I get that. I'm sorry..." I stammered as I watched the tears cascade down her pretty face.
"This is something that's going to be so, so incredibly hard for me to deal with."
"I can help you through it if you put down this stupid wall. How do you think this makes me feel?"
"You don't understand"
"Yes I do.
"No. You don't. I want space."
I sat there, speechless. I somberly laughed out loud at the realization of how things change quickly. A few days ago I knew a Robin that was as happy and care-free a person could be. I knew a Robin that couldn't stand being separated from me. But I knew that she was hurting, and I knew that I needed to give her what she was asking for.
I brought myself up to her and wiped her tears with my hand. I kissed her on the cheek. It tasted of salt from her tears. I grabbed her hand.
"Just remember that I haven't done anything to you. There's no reason to push me away. You can't let your mother dictate how you feel about the people you love. Pushing me away isn't going to make the feelings you have for me vanish...if that's what you're going to try to accomplish. You're just going to feel more miserable. Don't you understand that?" I looked into her eyes as I spoke. I was pleading with her, and it wasn't getting me anywhere. We sat in silence for a while until I got up and started packing my bag. "No? Nothing?" I questioned. She looked miserable. I slung the bag over my shoulder, and as much as it pained me, I headed for the door.
I stepped outside and was surprised to see Kristin leaning against the wall.
"I was eavesdropping." She blushed. "What the fuck is wrong with her?"
My heart throbbed in pain. I'm glad she had heard everything because I didn't want to have to explain it to her later.
"Fuck." Is all I said. I didn't want to talk. Kristin knew me well enough to not pry.
"Hey, I love you. I'll be here when you need to talk."
I nodded. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying...as if that technique worked.
"Ill see you later" I said as I ran down the staircase, sliding my hand down the banister for support. I cut through the lawn and sprinted to my car. Things feel better when I'm running. I threw my duffel bag into the back seats and started the engine. I looked back and saw Robin watching through her window. I wish I hadn't.
"Just give her a day...giver her a day and she'll realize that she's wrong..." I thought to myself.
We had a three day weekend off from school. I dosed up on my anxiety medication (which I normally never take) because the situation was driving me mad. Any time my phone vibrated I'd frantically reach out for it in hopes that it was Robin. But no, it would be a text from Abby "Hey, tomorrow night, me and you, movie at my house?" or a text from Naomi "Heard about what happened. I've got some booze if you'd like to drink the pain away ;)" And so on. I received too many text messages from people I didn't want to hear from during those three days. I didn't respond to a single one. Any time I had a message on facebook I'd panic internally praying it was her. My heart ached. Everything ached. I had a fucking headache. Kristin called back to back a few times over the course of Saturday, and then Sunday, but I didn't pick up. I was shutting everyone out, which was incredibly unhealthy and probably not what I needed, but I just didn't want to talk about it. My Saturday consisted of showering, sleeping, crying, sleeping some more, a sappy movie, consuming half a tub of chocolate chip ice cream, a little bit of homework, knocking myself out with sleeping medication, and so on. Sunday wasn't any better. Mom sensed something was up on Sunday afternoon.
I heard a knock on my door. I had my sheets over my face.
"Come in." I groaned.
I didn't care to look at who had come into my room.
"It's two o'clock." My mom said.
"Is it?"
"You've been acting weird lately, what's been going on?"
"Robin."
"That's what I thought. Want to tell me what happened?"
"Her mom found out. She freaked. Robin freaked. I freaked. We're all freaking."
"Details, Polly."
I felt her put her hand on my back. I got intensely sad again, and I started to cry.
My mom shhh'd me. I felt her getting situated in the bed with me. She cradled me as I cried. Gosh, I love my mom so much.
"Robin told me that she needed some time to think." I sobbed. "She was being so harsh, so unlike herself, Mom, it was so weird. I've never, ever, ever, ever! seen her like that before." I boo-hoo'ed a while longer before I continued. "And then she told me that her mom told her that she was disgusted with her, and that her mother's acceptance is so important..and blah blah I don't even know."
"I've gotten pretty close to Robin this past year. I've watched you two interact, and I can tell how much she loves you. Don't take it to heart, Love. But Polly, do you remember how hard it was for you to come out to the family? Remember that?" She nudged.
I nodded.
"She's just going through a tough time. Just let her think for a while. Don't close yourself up. Don't keep yourself locked in this room, it's not healthy for you. She is going to come around...has she tried talking to you?" She gave me a squeeze.
"No. Not at all. Haven't heard from her since Friday morning."
"Give her some more time. She's probably distraught. She's hurting just as much as you are."
"But I just don't get why she wouldn't want to go through this with me...I support her..."
"She deals with things differently than you. I love you, I'm here to talk if you need anything."
And with that, she got up, pulled the covers back, kissed my forehead, rolled up the shades, opened the window, and walked out of my room.
My mom knew how to make me feel better. She gave me the little bit of energy I needed to get myself into the shower. After showering, I cleaned my room. I finished all of my homework. I organized my closet. I washed my sheets. I did everything I could to keep my mind off of Robin. I shut down my computer and gave my phone to my brother, telling him to keep it until nine o'clock. He raised a brow and questioned me, "Just `cause." And I left it at that. I played the guitar for a while until I caught myself starting to play songs that reminded me of Robin. I set the guitar down and contemplated what to do next, which was incredibly hard because I felt like I didn't have many options. Mid brain-storm I was interrupted by the ring of the doorbell. My heart skipped.
I heard my brother run down the stairs. I heard the door squeak.
"Hey Drew, is Polly home?" I heard Kristin ask.
"POLLY!" I heard him yell.
I walked to the door and saw Kristin, she looked huffy and heated.
"I've been calling you, I've been texting you, I've been messaging you on facebook, I even skyped you, and you haven't had the decency to respond! What the fuck have you been doing?" She ranted.
"Woah woah woah! I've locked myself in my room. Don't take it personally, I just haven't felt like talking to anyone. Calm yourself!"
She hugged me tightly, picked me up, and span me around.
"Have you talked to Robin?"
"Not since Friday."
"Have you talked to Robin?"
"I texted her this morning. Asked her if she was doing alright. I told her that she should probably talk to you, too."
"What did she say?"
Kristin pulled out her phone to show me Robin's response.
"fucking shit."
"So descriptive." My heart throbbed.
"Oh yeah. Ohhhhh yeah. Ohhhhhhhh yeah." She said, in agreeance.
"I've been trying my hardest not to think about it."
"Well, I don't understand why you're not letting me help you. You're just doing the same thing she's doing to you...but to me. You see?" She said with a smile.
I guess she's right, I thought. "I guess you're right. Thanks for coming over. I need you."
She grinned with all of her teeth. We hung out the rest of that night. We watched a movie, I kicked her ass in chess, we went surfing on chatroulette. Its frightening how many penises are on that website. We hung out with my mom for a bit before we headed to bed. I grabbed my phone from my brother, but decided not to turn it on.
I changed into my sweats while Kristin was downstairs. I laid out a pair of sweats/t-shirt for her to sleep in. She came upstairs holding two bottles of beer.
"Where'd you get those, eh?"
"My car.
I laughed.
I can't sleep unless I have some alcohol in my system. Is that unhealthy?"
"Probably, but whatever."
She cracked her beer open, and handed me mine. I threw her her sleeping clothes. I sat on my bed. I watched her undress.
Kristin was a beautiful girl. She stood at around 5'11. She had amazing posture. She sported these large bright green eyes and a cute nose. hundreds of freckles dotted her cheeks. Her eyebrows were slanted in a way that made her look intense, a kind of Megan Fox way, which intimidated people. She had sandy brown hair which cascaded down her back. Her eyebrows were darker than her hair, which I always admired. She kept herself in shape, hitting the gym five times a week. She was toned. She was a beauty.
Her sexuality was a mystery to her close friends. She'd frequently comment on attractive girls, if she'd spot one she liked she'd throw out something like "Yeah, I'd hit it." or something along the lines of, "That girl is HAWT." I never took it seriously since she was such a jokester. Boys went gaga over her but she never really reciprocated. Last time she expressed a slight interest in men was freshman year when she dated a boy named Alexander for a whopping four days. It ended because he tried to kiss her cheek after school one day, and when I asked about it she explained that she "wasn't into it." So she ended it. I frequently question why she doesn't have a boyfriend, and the answer is always the same. "I'm too busy." She doesn't do anything but hang out with me, go to the gym, and drink alcohol. I accept it, though, for what it is.
Kristin unbuttoned her button-up and slid it off her body. She was wearing a green lacy bra. I watched her unbutton her shorts, which followed suit with her button-up, which ended up on the floor. She was wearing underwear that read "fuck you" on the front. "She's so weird." I thought to myself. She looked amazing in her drawers. I guess I had been staring a little too long because Kristin eventually caught me and said, "Whatcha looking at?" I blushed and kind of played it off, "Your underwear is flattering."
"It's a statement. Fuck you." She glided her pajamas on and scooted into bed with me. She wrapped her great arms around my body and held me tight. It was normal for us to cuddle. We did it every time we slept together. It was something that occurred naturally without any hesitation. Minutes passed.
"Love you Polly." She whispered.
"Love you too, Kristin."
"Everything is going to be fine. And if it isn't..." She paused.
"If it isnt?"
"Well, I'm here."
I smiled into the darkness and nodded my head to reassure her that I had heard. `if it isn't, i'm here. I pondered what that meant for a while, but then concluded she was just being her loving self.
It took me a while to fall asleep because Robin was on my mind. This was the first time in our entire relationship that she had intentionally distanced herself from me. Because we went to school and had classes together, I saw her on the regular and we hung out every day when possible. She's going to talk to you soon. Don't worry. I thought as I started to drift to sleep. Kristin's warmth was comforting. Thoughts of Robin started to dissipate. I fell asleep.