Oh What We Have Done 1
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This story contains sexual situations between males. If material of this nature offends you then you should not read this story. If you are under 18 years of age or you are not legal to read this story, please leave now.
The first few chapters will not have any sexual acts, but I am working my way up to it, it's a story of love, not of pure sex.
This story is purely a work of fiction and I do not know any of the celebrities mentioned. I do not know of their sexualities or any of that, it is merely for my story.
The author claims all copyrights in this story and no duplication or publication of this story is allowed (except by the websites to which it has been posted) without the consent of the author.
Enjoy!
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Chapter One
"Babe?" I walked into the multi-million dollar home which I had come to call my own. I walked from the garage entrance through the living room and kitchen and still nothing. I continued my trek through the house. When I made it upstairs towards the master bedroom, I started hearing sounds. Sounds that I knew to be Alex's were coming from the bedroom. I couldn't help but think `Oh god, please don't let this be happening, not now."
I opened the door slowly and quietly. What I found stopped my heart. There Alex was, on top of some blonde bimbo with a big rack, obviously thrusting.
"Alex...?" I asked quietly.
The thrusting stopped and Alex turned to look at me, his hair matted to his head with sweat and his blue eyes on fire.
"Shit," was the only thing he said before I turned around and closed the door, quickly leaving both the room and the house.
"Asher!" I heard behind me but I continued to run out of the house. "Wait! Let me explain."
I had to stop, I just had to. I had to be seeing things. Alex wouldn't throw away three years of a fantastic relationship for a quick fuck, unless it had been going on for a while. I stopped and turned to face him, trying not to cry.
"Just tell me why. That's all I wanna hear."
"I was curious," for his part, he looked ashamed.
"Curious? 3 years in, wedding in 6 months and you got curious?! Fuck you!" I screamed at him and started making my way towards the garage.
"Don't leave..." he pleaded to me.
"No. I'll be back when I know you're not here to get my things. You cannot blame that on being curious. Don't call me, don't text me, don't come anywhere near me. Just do me a favour and fuck off. Better yet, go fuck your little bimbo." I left the house and got into my car, quickly leaving the grounds.
My phone vibrated and rang constantly on my drive to my parents' house. I pulled into the driveway, driving around to the garage that was still considered mine. I pulled into the single car garage. I had seen the paparazzi cars following me and I could already see the crowd growing in front of our gate. I entered the house, to see my mother working away in the kitchen, I walked over to her and just broke down, she grabbed me and hugged me tightly.
"What's wrong baby, what happened?" she whispered softly into my ear.
"He cheated on me, Mom, he fucking cheated on me," I could hardly breathe, I was crying so hard.
"Oh goodness...I wish I knew what to say...just breathe baby, you're gonna be okay," I was clinging to her and shaking, still bawling my eyes out.
*****3 Months Later*****
I was miserable, I had never been so down on myself and on others in my life. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and I sure as hell could not go out in public. The paparazzi was having a field day, knowing that Alex and I were no longer together, that this whole marriage was off. They didn't know that Alex had cheated. As mad as I was at him, I could not ruin his reputation by telling everyone that he was a slimy bastard. He had always stopped my heart when I saw him, and now for a completely different reason. I couldn't look at him, I couldn't watch any movies that he was even an extra in. I just couldn't take the heartbreak of seeing his face.
Until I went to Beth's house one day and I was forced to see him. I had gotten a text from Christine asking me to come over. Reluctantly I agreed, having not been out of my house in quite a while. I forced myself to get out of bed and get ready to go to Beth's.
I made my way over to Beth's slowly, being careful while driving, as my mind just wasn't there anymore. My mind could not function, knowing that Alex just didn't love me anymore. I was shutting down, slowly but surely. My anti-depressants just were not working on my brain. The chemical make-up of my brain was completely out of whack.
When I pulled up to Beth's house, I parked and just walked into the condo that she now owned. I half smiled at her and took my shoes off, sitting down on her couch.
"Hey," I said to her after getting comfy.
"Hey babe," she reached over and hugged me, knowing that I just wasn't myself. That I hadn't been myself since Alex betrayed me.
"So what did you need?"
"We need to talk, Ash."
"Oh god, what did I do?"
"It's not what you did, but it's who you need to listen to..." oh Beth...ever the matchmaker.
"I do NOT want to talk to him, Beth."
"Asher, you don't have to talk to him, just listen to him. He needs to explain things to you. Neither of you are handling this very well. Just listen to him, please, for me," she pleaded with me.
"Fine, where is he...?" I know that I caved fast, but I just couldn't handle seeing her pout. And truth be told, I missed him. I missed his smile; I missed his gorgeous blue eyes, and his soft hair. I missed his hugs, and his kisses and just everything about him. Ugh, why did I have to miss someone that had hurt me so badly?
"He's upstairs...in the spare room. Be gentle with him, Asher. He's hurting too."
"Fuck that," I got up off the couch and slowly made my way up the stairs. As much as I was mad at him, I did want to see him. I walked up the stairs, going slowly and taking deep breaths, I didn't want to be weak about this, I had to be strong. I walked down the hallway to the spare room, and knocked. "Alex...?"
The door opened slowly and low and behold, in front of me stood a very haggard looking Alex Pettyfer.
"Oh thank god," he mumbled quietly.
"Hi..." I whispered. I was nervous. He looked horrible, his blue eyes were a stormy grey, his hair was a mess, he had dark circles under his eyes, and his entire face was red and puffy. He looked like he hadn't slept in years.
"Hi," he said quietly, he moved back from the door and I walked in slowly. It was nice to see that he still had manners, even though he was an ass.
"What did you want to say to me?" I moved over towards the bed and sat down on the very edge of it, looking up at him.
"I just needed to talk to you, I need to tell you what happened."
"You told me what happened, when it happened. I don't know what else there is to tell me, Alex."
"Would you just shut up for a second, and let me talk. My god! I just want to explain it all to you so you know what happened. And then you can decide what to do after that. But please, just listen to me. Just let me tell it all to you, please..." he pleaded to me and I melted. His blue eyes went into puppy dog mode and I just couldn't help but let him do whatever he wanted.
"Alright, fine. Okay, tell me what happened," I watched as he sat down beside me and looked down at his lap.
"Okay..." his accent was really thick, he must have been really upset. "I was on the set of one of the shoots, and I was taking a break. I was clearing my head because I was going to ask you if we could move the wedding up a couple months, after I was finished shooting that day. I was drinking some water and I had set it down and apparently this chick that was on the set as an extra, put something in it. I had no idea until the next day that anything was even different. I don't remember you coming in and then you leaving, I just remember finishing shooting that day and then going to leave. I don't remember going home with her, I don't remember her name, I don't remember anything. All I remember is waking up the next day with some strange girl in my arms, and you nowhere to be seen. I don't know what happened, I have no idea what I even said to you. I'm sorry, I miss you. I love you, you know that I would never do anything to hurt you, why would I give up the best three years of my life, for someone I don't even know. She is nothing to me, you have to know that."
"Okay. I don't know if I believe you," I said to him, looking at him was hurting my heart but I really had to give him the chance to explain it all, I had to give him the benefit of the doubt. This is the love of my life we're talking about here.
"I know it's hard to believe. It was hard for me to believe too. But I went and got tested by my doctor. For more than just the drugs. I wanted to make sure that I was still clean for you. I want nothing more than for us to be together again, I miss you. I know you don't trust me and I know that I hurt you, but it really wasn't me. It hurt me just as much as it hurt you. To find out that I had hurt you and that you left and were angry with me was the hardest thing that I had ever had to deal with. I can't deal with the thought of losing you for forever. I haven't been back on set since we broke up, and they might not give me my part back, but I don't even care. I just want and need you back in my life. You are my everything, have been ever since I met you, and you will continue to be," he took my hands in his, and I could see the tears falling from his eyes, I slowly reached up and wiped away just one of them.
"I know...shhh I know," I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into my arms tightly, hugging him tightly to my body. "I believe you. I love you, it's okay."
He started sobbing in my arms, and I just held him against me. He kept repeating, "Please don't leave me again, I need you like I need air. Please, just stay with me."
"I'm not going anywhere, baby. Stop crying, it's okay. Everything is okay."
When he looked up at me again, his eyes were even redder and his nose was sniffley. I wiped his cheeks of all the tears and kissed his forehead gently.
"I love you, I really and truly love you," he said to me.
"I know baby, I love you too. Let's go home and relax. We need to not be around people for a while, and fix this," I stood up and took Alex's hand, pulling him up with me. I lead the way downstairs and sat beside Beth.
I kissed Beth's cheek and whispered in her ear, "Thank you for making me listen. I didn't understand until now. I love you."
Alex and I quickly said our goodbyes and made our way out of the condo and to my car. He must have taken a cab because he didn't have his car with him.
"Where's your car?"
"I couldn't drive, I was too messed up. I took a cab here, and I was hoping and praying that you'd end up taking me home."
"Were pretty sure of yourself, hey?" I opened the passenger door to my car and let him get in before I closed the door and went around to the other side to get in. I started the car and buckled my seatbelt, leaving the condo parking lot quickly. We needed to get out of here, so that we could relax and just be ourselves again. I loved that everything was going to be okay, but I was worried at the same time. I was worried that it would happen again, that things wouldn't go back to the way it was. I was worried that I wouldn't be good enough for him anymore, or that I wouldn't be able to trust him fully and so we wouldn't be as strong as we were before. I needed this man in my life, and I think he knew that. I think that he knew that no matter what, I loved him and that I would do anything for him. But I wasn't sure if he knew that I hadn't moved from my house in three months, that I hadn't been able to function at all for three whole months. We needed to get back to normal, and I knew that we would get there, I just wasn't sure how long it would take. I didn't have much patience anymore, I loved him, and I needed him, but could we really be the amazing couple we used to be?
"What are you thinking about?" Alex asked me, apparently I had zoned out for longer than I thought. I still managed to drive to Alex's without any incident.
"Just...nothing," I said as I pulled up to the gate at Alex's house, the gate had always amazed me, it was absolutely gorgeous. I leaned over and quickly entered the passcode into the keypad then drove through the gate as it opened for us. I pulled up to the garage and waited for him to use his clicker to open it, I had given mine back when I had left. He clicked open the garage that had always been reserved for me and I slowly drove in, I looked back to see the paparazzi gathering outside the gate, we quickly closed the garage door and got out of the vehicle, making our way into the house.
I could already imagine the headlines that would be in the papers tomorrow morning. I sighed to myself as we walked into the house, I slipped my shoes off and looked around. I felt out of place, like this wasn't my home anymore. I looked down at y feet and I felt Alex move closer to me.
"Babe..." he said softly and put his hands on my waist.
"Hm...?"
"Get out of your head, it's fine. Everything is going to be okay. We're going to be okay. I think I know what you're feeling right now and I seriously feel like shit. Everything is the same as you left it. This is still your home as much as it is mine. I had to go buy a new bed though. I couldn't stand the thought of sleeping in it, let alone having you sleep in it. It was tainted. I hope you like it though..." he was rambling, but it was kind of cute.
"I'm not sleeping here, not tonight. We need to take this slow. We're basically starting from square one again. I'm not confident in myself to sleep here, when we've spent so long apart. We'll get there one day, just not today," I looked into his eyes to see him get really sad. It broke my heart, but I really couldn't stay the night, it would hurt too much. "Please don't be upset with me..."
"I'm not upset with you, I'm upset with myself. I hurt you and I didn't even know I was doing it. I hurt you so badly that you don't even want to stay here with me. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do to make you stay. I'm so lost without you, you're my everything and right now, I have nothing. I can hardly function right now, you're the part of me that's missing and I don't know how to get it back. What do I do? How do I fix this?" He asked and pleaded with me.
"Give me time. I need time to get comfortable again. I know this is hard for you, but you have to remember that this is hard for me too. I'm trying my hardest to let this just happen but it's hard when all I can think about is the look you gave me that day. I'm scared, Alex," I explained.
"I know you're scared, I'm scared too. I don't want to fuck this up any more than I already have."
I moved towards the couch and sat down, trying to get myself to be comfortable. I really didn't want to upset him, nor did I want to upset myself. My phone was vibrating in my pocket. So I took it out to look at the texts I had received
Beth: Hey, how is everything going?
Mom: Asher, is everything okay? You haven't left much in three months, and now you left without saying anything.
I replied to my mom first.
Me: Yes mom, everything is okay. I left to go to Beth's and I've talked with Alex, we're trying to figure everything out and see if we can make this work or not. Please don't be upset with me. I'll explain more when I get home, okay?
Mom: Okay. That sounds fine.
Then I replied to Beth.
Me: It could be going better. I'm trying but I'm just so scared. What if this doesn't work? What if it's just going to shit and we won't be able to get it back? How do I fix this? How do I make it work? I don't know what I'm doing here.
Beth: Just relax. Take it day by day, it'll take time before you guys are completely back to normal. You don't have to worry about the stress of the wedding. You don't have to worry about anything, just relax and let it happen. Don't have sex with him if you're not ready to yet, just let yourself be happy and grow with him. This will make you guys stronger, just give it a chance to.
Me: What if it doesn't work though? What if we never get back to the way we used to be?
Beth: Maybe you won't be the way that you used to be, but you'll be better. Seriously, get the fuck off your phone and talk with him, spend time with him. Be happy Ash, let yourself be happy.
Me: Alright, I'll go. Sorry, see ya later. Bye
Beth: Bye.
I put my phone back in my pocket and looked up to see Alex watching me.
"Yes?" I asked.
He seemed to shake himself out of it and then blushed and looked down, he said quietly, "Nothing, I just...forgot how handsome you are."
"You're full of bullshit, mister," I smiled and started to feel at ease again. It felt good to joke around with him and be like we used to. When I felt his lips on the side of my face, I melted a little bit. It had been a long time since I had felt those soft pink lips on any part of my body. I missed them greatly and it felt so right that they were back where they belong. "Alex, kiss me..."
"You sure?"
"Just do it..." I was looking directly at his lips, staring at them and I slowly licked my lips as he leaned in closer to me. His lips met mine gently, and I sighed softly and pressed my lips back against his. It was short and sweet. Nothing risqué about it. It was what I needed to be reminded that this was the man that I loved, that I would do anything for. It reminded me that I could not give up on him, no matter how upset he made me. He was the reason that I was so happy, and he would continue to be. This kiss released all the frustration and anger that I had felt. I quickly felt myself moving into my old self, the way that I was before the incident.
"I love you," Alex whispered as he pressed kisses along my cheek and jaw.
"I know, I love you too," I lay back slowly on the couch and pulled him down with me. Him laying on top of me felt so right. It was perfect, he was perfect. His weight on my chest was the best thing I had felt in a long time and it was just what I needed in order to feel whole again. This man was the air that I breathed; he was the blood in my veins, the matter to my brain. He was everything to me, and at this moment, it couldn't have felt any more right to have him in my arms. We continued to lie on the couch, just like this and eventually fell asleep.
When I awoke, Alex was still atop me, but he had shifted so that his ear was right above my heart. I smiled, watching him sleep; he just looked so peaceful and happy. He must have felt me stirring because he quickly woke up and saw me watching him, his smile matched mine and I slowly slid my fingers through his soft hair.
"Baby, you need a haircut," I said quietly, continuing to play with his hair, twirling it in my fingers and stroking it slowly.
"They'll cut it on set if they want it shorter, I'm not sure how they really want it for this part that I'm playing...speaking of which, I should probably call the director and find out if I still have a job," he yawned softly and I could tell that my playing with his hair was putting him back to sleep. So, I quit playing with his hair and just watched him and talked to him.
"I'm sure they wouldn't have fired you, you're too handsome to fire. Plus, it's not like you didn't have a reason."
"That's true, but I don't know how well they'll take it when I tell them that I left because I was an idiot."
"I'm sure it'll be okay," I went back to stroking his hair, it was just too soft to stop. Don't blame me, it's like he washes his hair with clouds or something.
"Stop playing with my hair unless you want me to fall asleep," he was looking into my eyes. Can he read my mind or something?
"I don't wanna, it's too soft to stop."
"I'm gonna fall asleep again," he warned me.
"Alright, alright, I'll stop," and I did. This time, I started rubbing my hand up and down his back, I even managed to slip my hand under his shirt and rub his bare skin. Skin that I hadn't felt in over three months. "I should probably get going, gotta work in the morning and all that jazz."
"Don't leave, please don't leave," he was begging. God, I couldn't handle it when he begged. His big ole puppy dog eyes.
"I have to, you need to sleep, you gotta be up early and go to the set. I gotta be up early and go to work, I have minds to mould yanno?" In the last three years, I had gotten my bachelor's degree sooner than I had expected and had gotten a job in a very prestigious private school. Teaching took up a lot of my time but I had always made time for Alex, and he did as well, when he could fit it between on location movie shoots and shootings at the Hollywood set. We had managed, in the last year, to fall more in love and complete the plans for our wedding. And now, we had to start all over...at least for the wedding part.
"Stay, you have lived here for almost four years, Ash. For four years, you have been staying every night and going to work every morning. You know that you want to stay here, just listen to your heart. Don't leave," his lips were moving along my jaw line and I was losing focus.
"Alex, I can't stay. I'd have to get up at 5 so that I could make it home, change and make it to work in time, you know how much I hate mornings," I was trying to fight the want to stay. I was fighting hard, but I really couldn't stay, our relationship would need to move slowly from now on and if I stayed, there was no way that we could keep anything slow.
"Alright, I understand..."
"Thank you," I kissed his cheek gently and stood up, looking down at him, I smiled. "I will be back, I'm not leaving forever."
"I know, I just don't like when you leave at all."
"I know baby, but it has to happen unfortunately," I leaned down and kissed his lips gently before grabbing my things and making my way out of the house and out towards my car. I got into my car and drove home, smiling, really smiling, for the first time in months.
********
Alex and I had been spending time together, going slowly and making things work. No fights and no lies, going one day at a time. I was learning to trust him again, and he was learning to forgive himself. It was a slow process and it took time for us to get there.
Late in June, Alex was away filming and doing various promotions for a new movie that he was going to be in. I had been invited to a charity ball which he was originally supposed to accompany me too. I would have taken Beth as my date, but Channing had also been invited and I couldn't take his date from him, seeing as how there was a huge diamond ring on her ring finger. I decided to go stag, not wanting to deal with the drama that would occur if I invited Christine or Jessy. I had been spending the past week in preparations for the event. I had to get a new tuxedo, get my hair cut and re-dyed and just get ready in general. It took a lot for me to be able to go to these events because it took so much out of me to have to be in the spotlight like that. The photographers and the journalists, all trying to get every tidbit of information they possibly can, as well as putting me next to everyone else and trying to decide if I look okay. Ugh, it's just ridiculous.
The night of the event, I spent a few hours by myself getting ready, taking my shower, shaving and relaxing. Soon enough, though, there was a team at the door, helping me so that my hair sat just so and so that my tux looked perfect. I was not to move at all this evening, I guess. Every time I moved, they yelled at me because they were trying to make it perfect, but I just did not care. At 4 o'clock, a limo pulled up along the door and I said goodbye to my parents who had opted out of the event this time. I kissed my mother on the cheek and gave my father a quick hug. Since I had come out to my dad, things had gotten much better between us, we became much more affectionate, often hugging or just touching in some way as we passed each other. It was much better for us now, I felt that we had a much healthier relationship, no longer hiding anything. It worked well for us, I felt like I could go to him for anything and he did everything in his power to make sure that I was loved and that I knew it.
I stepped into the limo and relaxed against the seat, I had been texting Alex all day and I had stopped talking to him just before I started getting ready and I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I took it out to see a new message from Alex.
Alex: Hey babe. I hope you have fun tonight.
Me: Hopefully I will, but I don't see how, considering you're not here. I miss you so bad right now.
Alex: hey...it's okay. I'll be there soon enough, couple more weeks. I bet you look super handsome right now. Picture?
Me: Yeah baby, give me a couple minutes.
I sent him a picture I had taken of myself a few minutes earlier and also told him that I would talk to him later, as the limo pulled up to the Hilton Hotel where the event was being held in the grand ballroom. I gathered myself and got out of the limo after the chauffeur opened the door for me. I straightened my tux and stood up tall, smiling as the lights blinked around me from the many photographers. I waved at a few people that I knew in the crowd and started to make my way down the carpet on my way to the ballroom.
Entering the room, I was immediately approached by a waiter, dressed in black and whites, asking if I wanted a glass of champagne. I gratefully accepted and started making my way around the room, wanting to see what was going on and where. I wanted to see who was going to be here and who I might actually get along with. I was almost done my full loop when I saw Beth and Channing walk in. I gasped at the sight of her with him. She was in a gorgeous navy blue dress which fit her curves perfectly. It was floor length with a long slit up the side, showing off her beautifully toned leg. She walked over to me, with Channing on her arm. It seemed completely unfair and wrong that two beautiful people such as these were together. I smiled at Beth and as she got closer, I kissed her on the cheek.
"You look stunning," I whispered in her ear.
"Thank you, so do you," she smiled and me and I looked over at Channing.
"C, you look great. But, where do you get off looking so handsome? That's just not fair!" I laughed a bit and hugged Channing, his laugh filling my ears, and he returned the hug gently.
"Where's your better half? And yes, he IS the better half?"
"He's away, filming. And I know, he's amazing and blah blah blah, but the more we tell him that, the more it goes to his head."
Channing and Beth both smiled at me and broke away as they moved to start chatting with more people, Channing introducing Beth to a few new people, though she knew most of them from the three years of awards shows and various other events. I turned and walked to the bar where I stopped to get a refill.
"Hi," I heard beside me and I turned to see a handsome face, chiseled jaw and brooding eyes.
"Oh, hi," I said back.
"You're Asher, right?" he asked.
"Yeah...Chad...?" I thought I knew his face, but I didn't want to make a fool of myself, in case I was wrong.
"Yeah!" he reached over and shook my hand. I was a little bit star struck at Chad Michael Murray standing beside me, but I had been trained not to show it. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket but I chose to ignore it.
"Nice to meet you," I said to him, slightly louder than I would have had to regularly because of the raised volume of everyone speaking as well as the music playing in the background.
"Yeah, nice to meet you too," he seemed happy to meet me which struck me as odd. "Are you here alone?"
"Unfortunately, yeah. Couldn't drag anyone out here to come with me, how about you?" I don't know why, but I was neglecting to talk about Alex, which was really weird. He was my entire life, and here I was, talking to a guy. But in theory, Chad should've known that I was with Alex. It was all over every magazine and newspaper.
"Yeah, I got left stranded as well..." we went through an awkward silence and I grabbed the drink that I had ordered.
"I should go find my table, I'll see you later, yeah?"
"Yeah, sure," he replied.
I moved along the room to find the spot where I was supposed to be sitting for the evening and took a seat. I played with the little place card which had my name on it in calligraphy. Silver on black, so classy.
********
The night continued on until almost 3 in the morning, I gathered myself, slightly inebriated and made my way out to the limo that was waiting for me. I slid in and laid out on the seat, unbuttoning my suit jacket. My phone had been vibrating and I had been ignoring it. The event had actually been kind of fun, the music was good, even the speeches were good. I took my phone out to a multitude of messages from Alex. Instead of replying to him, I just decided to call him, he answered after 2 rings.
"Baby," I said softly.
"Hi, my love," I smiled hearing his voice.
"Where are you right now?"
"I'm in bed," his voice was husky, he was horny. I was drunk enough that I would've done anything, travelled anywhere.
"What bed? Your home bed?" I was drunker than I thought, I couldn't really remember a lot.
"Actually, yeah, I just got home a couple hours ago, I figured you were gonna end up calling drunk. And I know how much you hate going home drunk. Come over here baby. Come spend the night with me."
"Mmmm...okay," I leaned forward and told the driver the new address and continued to talk to Alex while he drove, we weren't far from Alex's so it didn't take long. "Kay, I'm outside, buzz us in, and unlock the door, I'll be in in a minute."
I heard the gate buzz and we drove through it and up the long driveway towards Alex's front door. I hopped out, and gave the driver a $50 bill, that should be enough for the night, right? Plus, he's getting paid his regular fees anyways...ahhh whatever. I walked up the steps and made my way into the house.
"Alex?"
"Upstairs baby, you know where I am," he called out to me.
I made my way up the stairs and to the bedroom which I knew to hold Alex. What I saw blew me away. Laying there in all his glory, nothing but a blanket across his slim waist, was Alex.
"Hi," I said huskily.
"Come here," he whispered and I walked closer to him. I slid off my suit jacket and draped it across the back of a chair that was close to the bed. My phone started ringing loudly, meaning it was urgent and it was probably my mom. I grabbed the phone and answered it quickly.
"Asher?" my mom asked through the receiver.
"What's the matter?" she sounded distraught.
"There's been an accident."