Ok, I don't know the BSB nor do I make any suggestions about the way they live their lives, for instance whether or not they prefer men or woman as their sexual partners. Frankly, I really don't care if you don't like reading my story, but if you are offended by the sort of relationship which is implied by its appearance on a gay site, then please don't read on. Also, you shouldn't read this if you are under 18, though I think that is a really stupid rule as it's not like we can tell whether you're 18 or not can we?
I am English, so if you don't understand anything in this story, then tough, we invented the language first and you nicked it, so it's not our fault, lol. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I'm sorry if the cliffhangers are getting boring, but once again, my story, so there.
On The Streets - Chapter 24
Kevin's Point Of View
It's been two hours. I don't know what to do. I've been sitting in this damn waiting room for two hours. Some nurse came over about half an hour ago to ask me to fill in some forms which I did, to the best of my ability, but I realised there were still a lot of things about Jared I didn't know - had he had any prior operations? Did he have any allergies? A doctor came out, and said that Jared was still under observation, they were trying to work on him without causing any further damage. That damn metal fence hit him flat on the head, and then the truck carried on going! It broad sided him, and by the time I reached him, his arm was bent badly in a direction I didn't think was possible, and he had blood gushing from a bad cut in his head. When I looked down and saw that blood I was almost sick. I collapsed by him and just held him. Thank god the dick who had been driving the truck realised what had happened - he was the one who phoned the ambulance, and he was now waiting across the waiting room with me. He had been on the phone to his employer trying to explain what happened and sort out Jared's medical expenses. I should have just paid them then and there, it would have been easier. I'd only let him have the best, God I'd give anything to have him back, please God, please bring him back to me.
"Mr. Richardson?" A young doctor stood to my left. He gulped when I looked up at him. He looked worried and nervous.
"What? What's happened to Jared?"
"Err...nothing sir. There's nothing wrong with Mr. Healey, well aside from the obvious, but we think he might wake up soon. We should warn you there has been some degree of concussion. He was very lucky not to get a haemorrhage, and his arm is broken in two places. From what we can tell, that was due to the hit from the truck itself. There's also some scarring across the abdominal region due to the fence falling on him." The young man paused, and took a deep breath. He had said that so quick I'd only just about picked up what each of Jared's injuries were. I nodded and followed the man down the hall to the ICU. Once there, the doctor, whose name I found out was Dr. Young (how fitting!) took me to Jared's bed. It was curtained off. He told me he'd be back soon, and not to be too loud, as Jared was obviously still recovering. He left me alone outside the curtain. I dreaded this moment. I peeled back the curtain and stepped inside. I finally raised my eyes and looked at Jared. I had to take a breath. What once had been so beautiful now appeared to be only the remains of that: his face was badly bruised, his arm was in a cast of some sort, and the other was strapped to his side. His head was bandaged, as was his midsection, though that was partly covered by the blankets of the hospital bed. His broad shoulders were still exposed, they were bruised and cut too. The top of his muscular chest, which I loved to sleep with my head on at night was bruised a purple and blue colour. I could hardly stand to look at Jared, and then I suddenly felt so guilty. Was I really that superficial? I didn't fall in love with Jared for the way he looks, I fell in love with him for who he is. But Jared is well...Jared, what I'm looking at is him as well, it's not just who's inside is it? I felt so guilty for saying I couldn't look at him, this is part of who he is. I have to accept what he looks like, and besides, he'll be back to how he looked in no time. I must sound terrible, but unless you've seen this, you can't understand. Unless you've seen the face of your loved one totally changed and mutilated into something you can scarcely recognise, and can hardly call attractive, then you can never know what this feels like. Then I heard him. He was still asleep, but he was moaning quite a lot. Then he suddenly sat almost bolt upright and shouted out:
"No!" And then the pain from his middle struck him and he moaned again as he laid on the bed and tried to grab his middle, his head and his face all at the same time. He'd twisted somehow so that he was in a foetal position. It was at that moment I knew that I still loved Jared, no matter what he looked like, as the pain he felt shot through me too. I rushed over to his side, and as his tears trickled down his cheeks and as he sobbed through the wall of pain he must have been feeling, it was like knives through my heart, to see my love in so much pain. I held him as much as I could. The straps and wires going into him and the IV tube going into his arm prevented me from holding him as close as I wanted to. The pulse monitor must have come loose or something, because the next thing I realised, the machine by his bed had flatlined, and there was the sound of a nurse down the hall shouting and footsteps advancing towards this room.
"Please Sir, move out the way, we need to treat the patient."
"No, you don't understand!"
"Please Sir MOVE!" She was forceful, and although I was angry that she pushed me away when Jared had only just woken up, I was thankful that the hospital had such good staff. Upon realising that Jared was awake, and it was just the pulse monitor which had come loose, the three nurses, and the doctor who had come running in retreated out of the room and left Jared and me in there. I was sat on the chair next to his bed. Jared turned his head to the side stiffly and looked straight at me. The bruise on his left cheek looked very painful and he had a cut lip which had swollen badly.
"Kevin?" He asked uncertainly. "Is that you?" Jared was blinking repeatedly, and squinting his eyes.
"Yeah Jared, it's me. What's the matter?"
"What besides the fact I ache everywhere?" He managed a shaky smile. "I take it the truck didn't stop after it hit the fence?" I shook my head. "Kevin?"
"What?"
"I just asked you a question, did the truck not stop?" Ok, something weird going on.
"I shook my head, no it didn't stop. It hit you on the side, that's how you broke your arm, and your middle is probably hurting because the fence landed there and scratched it up pretty bad. I'm sorry Jared."
"What for?" He looked over at me, but his eyes didn't seem to focus on me.
"For not getting to you sooner, I was so scared Jared, there was a lot of blood on the ground, and you looked really beaten up. I was scared." I felt his hand slip into mine, and he squeezed tightly.
"It's ok Kevin, I'm here now. Aah." Jared let out a little whimper as he turned his head away.
"Jared?" I asked, uncertain what was wrong, dammit, this was killing me not knowing how to help.
"I'm okay Kevin, I just turned my midsection a bit wrongly and it hurt. Could you get someone in here to look at my eyes though, I think something might be in them or something, I can't seem to focus." Jared was facing away from me now. "I could barely even tell it was you when you walked in the room." I looked up at him, and nodded, then I realised he probably couldn't see that. I stood up and leant over him, and kissed him on the forehead, the one part of his face without any bruises. I went outside and got a doctor. I couldn't believe how bright everything seemed. Jared was okay. I can't describe the feeling I had when Jared had opened his eyes. Even if it was just to scream. Wait, why was he screaming. I stood still in the hallway for a moment, realising that he had actually sat up and started screaming. Why was that? Just then Doctor Young walked past.
"Err...Mr. Richardson? Is there a problem?" He asked.
"Ummm, yeah, sorry, errr... Jared, he says that he's having trouble focusing. Do you think you could have a look at his eyes for him?"
"Certainly. Shall we?" He said with a motion of his arm. He didn't seem so nervous anymore.
"Um, you go ahead. I'm just gonna get a drink from the waiting room." The young doctor nodded and walked in the direction of Jared's room. I made my way back to the waiting room. Just as I walked in, the opposite door swung open and in walked Nick and Brian. "Whoa! What are you guys doing here?"
"Well we came initially to see if you were alright. There are news reports saying you came to the hospital in an ambulance, but we found out downstairs that it was Jared, so now we've come to see how he is. What happened?" Brian related to me.
"Jared got hit by a fence that was knocked over by a construction lorry and then the damn thing carried on and hit him. He's okay, well, as well as can be expected, but he's still in Intensive Care. The Doc's giving him another checkover now, he was saying something about his eyes not focusing."
"Oh my God that's terrible, I hope he's ok." Nick started. "Err...Kevin?" I looked up at Nick. He was pointing behind me, so I turned and saw Doctor Young standing there trying to get my attention.
"Ah, Mr. Richardson, Jared said he was tired, and to tell you what was wrong as he wanted to go to sleep. Is that ok?" I nodded. "It appears that Jared has developed acute myopia, um, short-sightedness. This is probably due to his concussion, and may be temporary, but injuries of this type can cause permanent eyesight afflictions. He may need some form of visual aid, glasses or contact lenses, depending on the severity of the injury. I would suggest that he see the hospital ophthalmologist as soon as possible, when he is able to." I thanked the doctor and he carried on past me through the doors Nick and Brian had entered.
"So, I'm on the news am I?"
"Yeah, some reporter must have seen you getting off the ambulance, and thought she would get a story." Brian said with a sympathetic tone to his voice. I nodded to him.
"So, where's A.J. and Howie?"
"A.J.'s in New York, and Howie's in Miami. Howie just phoned and said he'd seen the news and he'd be up soon. I guess A.J. hasn't heard yet, unless Howie told him." Nick said.
"Well, first things first, you can phone them up and tell them they don't need to come. Then you can go home, we're not supposed to be together remember?" I said with a smile on my lips trying to take away the brunt of the harsh words.
"NO!" They both shouted back.
"Kevin, Jared is our friend too, we're not just gonna leave him. We want to see him too. Forget that stupid fucking rule for once, Jared is hurt, and we want to be there with him." Brian started. I let out a sigh, this was one battle I wasn't gonna win.
"Fine. He's in ICU 3. You can go in and see him I guess, but I should warn you, he's pretty beat up." I went and got my coffee. They were gone when I turned round, I felt so empty just then. They had known Jared for what, two months? And already he meant so much to them. I wondered if I meant that much after two months with the band, and now that I'd known them for ten years, did they like me even more. Did they even like me? Sometimes they acted so bored when I was around, like I was the one to always stop their fun. I walked along to Jared's room, sipping on the hot coffee. I stood just outside the room for a minute, I could hear talking from inside, I heard Jared's voice, and a chuckle coming from his throat. God, I loved that laugh.
"Kevin?" I heard him shout from inside. I flicked my head around. How had he known I was there? I walked inside slowly, and saw three pairs of eyes on me. "Kevin, come and sit with us." Jared said.
"Why didn't you want to hear what the doctor had to tell you?" I said as I sat on the chair closest to Jared's head.
"I don't like doctors much. For that matter, I don't like hospitals much. I'd really like to get out of here. But I was sick of it, I didn't want to hear anymore from him, so I just told him to tell you what was wrong, and you could tell me later." Jared grinned up at me. He was being lazy, great. "Anyway, I was just telling the guys I'm feeling better. I don't know what this stuff is in my arm, but it's making me feel just wonderful." He had a goofy expression on his face, and I couldn't help but laugh as he looked like he was high on something. "Then, I was gonna tell the guys to go get something to eat, or at least disappear for a bit, cos I need to talk to you." His voice had an ominous sound to it, and I didn't like it. The guys' heads shot up and they looked at each other, then back at us. First Nick, then Brian nodded and stood up and headed back in the direction of the waiting room down the hall. I watched them leave, then turned back to Jared. "Can you shut the door?" He said barely loud enough for me to hear. I got up and walked over to the door, and swung it shut.
"What's wrong Jared?" I asked as I sat down again.
"When I said I didn't like hospitals, I wasn't exaggerating." I nodded, and waited for him to elaborate. "Being in a hospital brings back a lot of bad memories." I was hoping he was going to elaborate further, and I guess the look of expectation on my face told him this. "Oh God, I really don't want to go into this. But, I guess you're gonna find out sooner or later." Jared shut his eyes, and took a couple of deep breaths. I could see they were laboured slightly. "Kevin, I've only been in a hospital twice before, well, except for when I was very young. But the point is, the last two times were because of things that happened to me. Things I wish hadn't happened. The first one you know about: when Jon was killed by that homophobic bastard for speaking out on gay rights. I spent two hours waiting in a hospital for him, but he never came out the operating room." He sank back further into the bed and took a deep breath. "Kevin, the other time is almost as painful as that, and I know it's gonna make you feel differently about me. I really don't want to have to tell you this, but I feel like I have to. And please, once I'm done, don't feel bad about just walking out of here. I'll understand." Before I had a chance to say I'd never leave him, he held his hand up to tell me to stay quiet and he carried on talking. "Kevin two years ago, I was working in London, same as when we first met, it might have even been the same place where you picked me up. Kevin, I was raped. Four, maybe five guys started shouting at me and swearing me while I was just standing in Piccadilly, soon enough though they started hitting me and kicking me, and they dragged me into an alley and took turns fucking me. I was in such a shit state I couldn't even get up after they were done. I was lucky somebody came along and called for an ambulance. I spent the next two weeks in hospital recovering, I was lucky that none of them passed anything on to me. Who knows what they could have had." Jared paused. I held my breath should I have said something? "Go on then." Jared turned away from me to the opposite wall.
"What?"
"Go! I know you don't want to be here anymore with me, you thought you were going out with something good, but really you were just dating shit. You deserve so much more Kevin, please just go." I saw a tear fall down his face, and he brought his good arm up to try and wipe it away, but I got there first, and I rested my hand on the side of his face.
"Jared, I don't want to go. You haven't given me any reason to go. I love you Jared, just because something happened to you in your past that you couldn't control, it doesn't mean that you aren't worth loving. And I do love you Jared, more than you'll ever know. You mean everything to me." Jared turned his head back towards me, and took my hand in his.
"God, I wish I could see you properly again." He smiled and shut his eyes. It had taken a lot out of him, telling me all that. And he quietly settled back into sleep, his hand gradually relaxing its hold on mine. I stood up after about five minutes, and left the room. My head was spinning with all this new stuff about Jared. Was this what he had wanted me to know about before we made any sort of fixed commitment? I love Jared so much, and there are no 'buts' or 'becauses', I love Jared plain and simple, I love him completely and utterly, and I want to spend my life with him. Hearing that he was raped made me angry, but it also made me realise that I love Jared even more than I first thought: I don't care if he has a past, I don't care what happened to him in the past, as long as it doesn't make him unhappy now, I am obviously upset that he was hurt so badly in the past, but as long he is with me now, and as long as he is happy, I don't care.
"Kevin?" I heard a voice ask from over my shoulder. Standing there I saw Lance Bass. What was he doing here?
"Lance?"
"Hey man, we saw the news, we thought you were hurt?" Lance asked with a note of confusion in his voice.
"No, it was Jared." I answered, perhaps a little curtly, but I was kinda confused why they were here?
"Oh man, is he okay?" I nodded.
"Just sleeping."
"Ok, good, we came to see that you were ok. Well Justin, Chris and I did." I gave him a confused look, but he carried on. "We were all worried that you might be hurt." I'd never have guessed that if I had been hurt all these guys would have come running.
"Ummm, well, thanks. But as I said, it was Jared who was hurt. A fence fell on him and a truck hit him. He's got a concussion, and a broken arm, and he's beat up pretty bad."
"Oh man, that's rough." Lance said with a grimace on his face.
"Yeah, well he's okay, he's just a bit shook up." Just then, Justin and Britney, and Chris came round the corner from one direction and Brian and Nick came from the other. I started to realise something then: although all these people were concerned about how Jared was, they had come initially because they thought I was hurt. Maybe I wasn't as alone as I thought sometimes.
It was only about 5 pm by this time, but my stomach was aching for something to eat, so I said I was gonna go to the cafeteria. Just then Brian sat next to me as I was munching on my sandwich and he just sat there looking at me.
"What's wrong Kevin? Is something wrong with Jared?" I thought to myself, what besides the obvious hospitalisation? I think Brian saw the smirk on my face at his stupid question and he continued. "Well besides the obvious...or is there anything else wrong?" He looked at me with inquisitive eyes.
"No Brian, nothing's wrong. Well actually, I was thinking. I'm cancelling the rule. I like having you guys around, if we want to see each other now, we can. It doesn't matter."
"I was actually thinking the same thing. Good one Kev." Brian stood up and left me to my sandwich in peace. About half an hour later, I went back up to the waiting room. I saw all the people who had come to visit sitting around on the hospital chairs. There was Nick who had spread himself over a couple of chairs and was reading a magazine, there was Brian who had book in his hands, and had his feet up on a chair opposite. Lance was sitting there biting his nails. I almost went over and knocked them out of his mouth. Britney had a six month old copy of some magazine in her hands and she was flicking through randomly. Justin had a magazine too on his lap. Then I noticed Justin was wearing glasses.
"Justin?" He looked up at me. "Would you mind if I just borrow your glasses for a second?" He looked at me with a confused expression on his face, but he peeled the glasses off and handed them to me. I thanked him and walked back towards Jared's room. I saw him taking a drink of water, and as he laid back on the bed, he noticed me standing in the doorway. He was still beautiful, I realise that now, no matter how beat up he looked, he was still stunning to me.
"Kevin?"
"Hey Jared, how are your eyes?"
"Still blurry, I can't get into focus, it's really pissing me off."
"Here try these." I slipped Justin's glasses onto Jared's face.
"Wow. That's a bit better, where'd you get these from?"
"Justin had them."
"Justin? Justin Timberlake?" I nodded. He could see the movement in my head through these glasses. I was relieved that it wasn't more serious. Just then there was a knock at the door.
"Hey Jared." It was Lance, Chris, Justin and Britney.
"Hey! I got the complete visitors' package." Jared grinned. It was good to see him happy again. The four visitors all walked in, and shortly after them, Nick and Brian came in. They all sat down around Jared, and he cast a suspicious eye over them. "How did you know I was here?"
"We saw it on the news." Lance piped in before anyone else could answer.
"Why would I be on the news?" Jared asked.
"Well actually, the news reported it was Kevin who was injured." Chris clamped his hand over Lance's mouth, but it was too late. Jared looked around at the people, and I wasn't sure if he was upset that they hadn't come to see him, but then he started laughing, and I was glad he was okay with the muddle.
"Well, as you can see he's fine." Jared's words were punctuated with giggles, and it was quite cute to hear him laughing like that. "If you want to go, you can." He said, and suddenly the laughter in the room stopped.
"But, we...we don't want to go." Britney answered. I looked over at Jared who looked up at me. I shrugged, and he just looked back at the people crowded around. "We've known that it wasn't Kevin that was hurt for the past half hour or so, but we're still here aren't we?" She reached over and rubbed Jared's hand. "We're concerned about you too Jared, are you sure you're ok?" Jared nodded his head. Britney sat back against Justin, who occupied the seat she was in with her. I just stood there, looking at all the people in the room with us. 'All these people had come to see if I was ok' I thought with exhilaration. They had actually come to check that I was alright. Now they were all here for Jared though. I started feeling how I had felt at Justin and Britney's wedding: I was jealous, I wanted Jared back. This was supposed to be our time together, no-one else was supposed to be butting in. I actually started planning: how could I get these people out, so that I could spend some time in here alone with Jared. I looked over at him. I leant on the headboard of the bed and bent my head down to his, so that I could kiss him on the cheek. I heard a few 'aaahs' and 'awwws' coming from behind me but I didn't care. I love this guy so much, I can't think about anything else. He's driving me nuts. I know he is.
End of Chapter 24... To Be Continued...