Ok, I don't know the BSB nor do I make any suggestions about the way they live their lives, for instance whether or not they prefer men or woman as their sexual partners. Frankly, I really don't care if you don't like reading my story, but if you are offended by the sort of relationship which is implied by its appearance on a gay site, then please don't read on. Also, you shouldn't read this if you are under 18, though I think that is a really stupid rule as it's not like we can tell whether you're 18 or not can we?
I am English, so if you don't understand anything in this story, then tough, we invented the language first and you nicked it, so it's not our fault, lol. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I'm sorry if the cliffhangers are getting boring, but once again, my story, so there.
On The Streets: Part 25
I'm finally out that damn hospital. Having Kevin there kept me sane, but I was in there for two nights, and Kevin can't help me in my dreams. I hope I never have to go near one of them again. The boys had their interview today, and Kevin came along afterwards, and the Doctor told him that I was free to go. My cast was incredibly annoying - it's not that it was too heavy, but I could barely move, and until you've had one of these things on, you can never really get how restricting it is. The doctor said I had to have it on for at least 3 weeks, and after that I could just wear a support. The cuts across my abs were healing nicely. There were only a couple which would leave noticeable scars, which I wasn't too bothered about. My concussion had somehow left me short-sighted. I didn't mind too much - it gave me an excuse to ask Kevin to come closer and closer. Unfortunately, it also meant I had to get glasses. My eyesight had improved slightly by the time I left the hospital though, and I only really had to wear the glasses if I was driving or if I was tired.
As the guys were all going to be together anyway, and as it was my first day out of the hospital, Kevin asked if it would be ok for us to have a barbecue in our back garden. I can't believe I already thought of it as my back garden. I was settling into this security thing really easily. Kevin picked me up from the hospital and said the guys would be coming over at about 6. Once we were back home, it was already 4:30, so Kev said he needed to get some stuff onto the grill. There was a hell of a lot of food set out in the kitchen, but every time I tried to help, Kevin told me to get out and sit down in the living room because I was still 'recovering'. I could smell the stuff starting to cook in the kitchen, I had been watching TV, when the door bell rang. I jumped up and answered it to Brian and Leighanne.
"Hey Brian, how you doin'?"
"Good Jared, how bout you? How's your arm?"
"It's ok, I guess it's just really itchy, come on in." I started to shut the door as they walked in, and just as I did, I heard Kevin's voice.
"Jared! Will you sit down and stop trying to do stuff! The doctor said you had to rest, now get in the living room and sit down." Kevin had an exasperated expression on my face, and although I could tell that the sternness in his voice was put on slightly, I could also tell that he really did want me to relax a bit. As I walked past Brian I rolled my eyes at him and he smirked.
"Come on Kev! Today's supposed to be a fun day, Jared's allowed to have fun if he wants to! If he gets tired he can sit down for a bit, but just let him do what he wants for today." Kevin stared at his cousin for a second, then went off at him.
"Brian, don't tell me what to do or what not to do. Jared's been told to relax, and while I am capable of helping him to do that, and while I can do stuff so that he doesn't have to, he is going to relax! I want him to get better."
"Yeah ok Kev." Brian mumbled as he walked into the kitchen. It was time for them to start getting stuff on the grill, it wasn't gonna be a real barbecue, like outside and stuff, as it was December, so it wasn't exactly warm, so Kevin used the gas grill and cooked the food inside. Leighanne and I sat in the conservatory and started talking.
"So, has Kev told you yet?"
"About what?" I asked her.
"When they're starting work again. Their manager called today."
"Umm, no, when are they starting again?"
"It should be mid-January, though they might start a bit later."
"Oh, that's pretty soon." I wondered what I was gonna do without Kevin around.
"Yeah, Jared don't worry, we'll make sure you know your way around before then, so you've got plenty to do and stuff. Don't forget you're still the guys' personal trainer, you'll still be working a few days a week." I nodded to her. Kevin came out carrying a bowl of salad and put it on the table. Howie and AJ walked in a couple of minutes afterwards and sat down with Leighanne and me. A few seconds later, we heard Brian's and Kevin's voices filtering through from the kitchen, and Brian came stomping out and sat down next to Leighanne with his arms crossed over his chest.
"What's the matter Bri?" AJ asked.
"Never mind." Brian mumbled, and sank further into his seat AJ shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.
"Ok. So, Jared, did Kev tell you about the magazine interview yesterday?" AJ asked, looking over at me. Suddenly I heard Brian clearing his throat and when I looked over at him, he was shaking his head at AJ. When AJ gave him a confused look, he motioned with his eyes over to the kitchen where Kevin was. "What?" Brian mouthed the word 'No', and then sat back into his chair. AJ just shook his head again. This was getting confusing. I decided to get up and try to help Kevin in the kitchen, no matter what mood he was in. I walked through the back door, and saw Kevin sitting at the table, the food was all either on the grill, or in the pans on the stove.
"Kev? Why are you sitting on your own in here?"
"Huh? Oh Jared, err, I just, wanted to think for a second."
"Oh. Do you want me to go out again?"
"No, no it's ok, I'm done, but I do need to talk to you."
"What's the matter?" I was getting confused. Everyone seemed to know something was going on except me.
"We had a magazine interview yesterday as well as the MTV one today, I know I didn't tell you, but it didn't seem that important. Thing is, the people who publish the music magazine we were interviewed by also do a fitness magazine. One of the interviewers commented that we looked in a lot better shape than before, and, well..." I looked over at Kevin expectantly.
"Yeah, go on?"
"Well, they want to speak to you." He rushed out.
"Me? Why?"
"Well they just want to talk to you about the techniques you use, that sort of thing. They sometimes do interviews with the trainers of celebrities, and they want to do an interview with you." I can't say I wasn't shocked...why would they want me? Kevin had explained that, but it still seemed a bit strange.
"Ok, so what's the problem?"
"Well, management's split over whether you should do it. So they left it up to you. You can decide whether you do the interview or not, but there are some things to go over before you do it if you decide to."
"Were you thinking about whether to tell me about this interview when I came in?"
"Yeah." Kevin mumbled out.
"Why were you thinking about it? Why didn't you just come and tell me?"
"Jared, I don't know what kind of questions they'll ask. If they start asking about your past, which could come up, how would you answer?"
"Well I'm sure I'll make something up. I can tell them about going to university, and from then on I'll just bluff my way through." Kevin just nodded. I put my hand on his shoulder and leant down and kissed him on the cheek. I whispered to him: "Don't worry about me so much. I'm a grown boy, I can handle myself." I said with a smile in my voice to soften my tone.
"That's what I'm worried about Jared, that you'll not need me, or not want me around anymore. Jared, I like looking after you, I like the way that you ask me stuff because you really don't know what to do, and I guess it's just upsetting me a bit. Even the way you made friends with everyone so fast bothered me a bit, and I'm sorry that sounds so mean, but I guess it would've been nice to have you to myself for a bit longer." Kevin trailed off. I took Kevin's chin in my good hand and held it up so that I could look into his eyes. He was being sincere, and I think this was what bothered me most. He was actually scared of losing me after all we'd been through. I have to say though, his over-protectiveness was quite nice. It's not that an over-bearing boyfriend is something anyone particularly wants, but when your boyfriend shows signs of intense jealousy...well, let's just say that it's like a really sweet gesture, and kinda a turn on.
"Kevin, I'm yours. No one else's, just yours. Please remember that. You mean everything to me, I don't think I can do anymore to convince you of that, but if you want me to spend more time with you, then I will. I'd do anything for you Kev, please remember that." Kevin continued to stare into my eyes, and I held his gaze.
"I'm sorry Jared." He stood up and pulled me into an embrace, being careful about my arm. "I should trust you. It's just hard to get used to you I guess." He said with a slight smile on his lips.
"It's ok Kev, I know what you mean, it's hard getting used to this life, trust me." I smiled back at him. "Hey, changing the subject, is Nick coming today?"
"Umm, yeah, he should've been here by now. I'll just call him and see where he is." Kevin picked up the phone and pressed a speed dial number. I heard the phone pick up on the other end, but couldn't really make out anything else. "Hello? Who is this?" I heard Kevin ask. He seemed annoyed at something. "Nick? Who was that?" Kevin got a scowl on his face, he looked really angry. "Fine! Don't come then!" Kevin shouted and hung up the phone. He took a couple of breaths and turned around. "He's not coming." He mumbled. Then he went and dealt with the food that was almost ready. I went up behind him and rubbed my hand up and down his back. He released a sigh and leant his hands against the counter.
"What's the matter Kev? What did Nick say?" I asked.
"Some guy answered the phone, and when I asked Nick who it was, he told me to fuck off." That didn't sound like Nick. He wasn't secretive. He was normally willing to talk about anything and everything. "I think he's going out with someone and he's not telling us, I don't think he's being very careful."
"What do you mean?"
"He's not being careful about where he's seen, or making sure that he's not seen with whoever this guy is too much. You know, like when management told us we couldn't always go out together, we had to space how often we were seen together." Yeah, I remembered. But why would Nick not be careful? Why was he taking risks? Kevin reached down and pulled the food out from the grill. It smelled great. I didn't know what was going on with Nick, but apparently Kev wasn't gonna let it bother him. Half an hour later, we were sitting around eating the meal Kevin had cooked up. It was good, I have to admit Kevin was a damn good cook. As per usual though, there was way too much, or I thought there was. By the end of the meal, the guys were actually fighting over the remaining food.
"You ok?" Kevin whispered to me. I was feeling pretty tired already even though it wasn't even 9. I nodded to Kevin though, and moved my seat a bit closer to his. I rested my head on his shoulder, and the guys sat around chatting about what they were gonna get up to for the next few weeks and what they were doing back in the studio.
A few minutes later, I felt Kevin shaking me gently. Pulling my eyes open, I saw that the guys were nowhere to be seen. "Jared, do you want to go up to bed?" I scratched my head and nodded to Kevin who pulled me up into his arms, and planted his lips on mine. I almost fell asleep during the kiss, which was kind of embarrassing, but I think Kevin understood. I leant on Kevin all the way up the stairs. I can't believe I felt that tired. I can't remember the last time I felt so tired.
"Hey Kev?" We were lying in bed.
"Yeah Jared?"
"Will you show me how to work your computer tomorrow?" I asked him.
"Yeah sure Jared." He leant across and kissed me on the lips, before falling back onto his pillow, and falling asleep.
"No Jared, you have to open a new file if you want to start a new document. So you go to the Start menu. You don't just click on an old document and carry on typing and delete the old stuff." Kevin said exasperatedly.
"But it works don't it?" I was getting tired already and couldn't keep my mind concentrated. It was only 11 in the morning. We heard someone knocking on the door, and as Kevin stood up I could have sworn I heard him mutter 'thank god'. The concept of how a computer works still went straight over my head. I had a feeling that I just wasn't gonna get the hang of these things. It was Brian at the door.
"Ummm, Brian, I know we said we didn't have to have that stupid rule about not seeing each other for a couple of weeks, but you don't have to come over every day!" Kevin said as he escorted Brian back into the living room. Brian threw a newspaper at Kevin. "What's this?"
"Read the headline." Brian muttered. Kevin looked at the front, and his face dropped into a scowl. His eyes started scanning the page, and he got angrier and angrier the longer he looked at it. I got up from the computer and walked over to him.
"What's the matter Kev?" Kevin forced the paper into my hands and went over to the phone and picked it up and started making phone calls. I read the headlines: Gay Backstreet Boy!!! I started to think about Kevin, had we not been careful enough? But looking over the text, I saw Nick's name, over and over again. Words like club, man, kissing, all jumped out at me, and I knew what had happened. I read the article and found that Nick last night had gone to some club and was seen by some reporter kissing another guy. Kevin was right, Nick hadn't been careful.
"We're gonna have to call a press conference guys." Kevin said as he came back from the phone call.
"When?" Brian asked.
"As soon as possible. We'll try and make a statement this afternoon, but I haven't been able to get hold of Nick. We're gonna try to pass it off as Nick being completely drunk and just getting a bit too friendly. I hope they'll buy it."
"Don't worry Kev." Brian mumbled.
"Where is Nick though? And who was the guy he was with?" Kevin asked. He was starting to get stressed. I must confess, I felt a little out of place. What do I do when they're having a crisis?
"Kevin, I'm sure it'll be alright." I said sympathetically.
"How do you know that Jared? Huh? You have no idea how our business works. You don't know it's gonna be ok!" Kevin shouted at me. I suddenly felt like I was back in my house in England, and my Dad was shouting at me, telling me where queers go when they die. Kevin was right up in my face, and I knew his temper was getting the better of him, but I didn't know how to react. It's weird - a few months ago I would have just slapped him. I would've hit anyone if they started shouting at me like that. But now...I love Kevin. How can I hit him? How do I react to a situation like this. I felt tears coming to my eyes. This wasn't me. I've never reacted like this when I was upset. I swear, sometimes Kevin brings out the worst in me. Before I started sobbing, I turned and walked out the room. I made my way to the bathroom upstairs, and sat with my back against the side of the bath and wiped my eyes with some paper. I took a few deep breaths. It was hard getting my breathing back to normal after I almost started crying. How could Kevin be like that? I was just trying to be nice, isn't that what couples do? Maybe I was being overly sympathetic or something, maybe I was being patronising. I can't remember what it was like to be in a relationship like this, heck, I've only been in one relationship like this. I sat there sobbing, my tears had come back full force, maybe it was my fault. I was so confused. I heard a knock on the door, and although I didn't want to see anyone at the moment, I saw the door open as I had forgotten to lock it. It was Kevin. I looked up through teary eyes and could see him so clearly. It was likely everything around him just faded away. I loved him so much. I could see his hair drawn back with just a few strands loose around his head, his green-grey eyes which filled with tears when they saw me. His lips which mouthed words I couldn't understand, but what I remember most was his height: we're the same height pretty much, but he looked so tall when he was standing in the door to the bathroom and I looked up at him, feeling like a child. In two steps, he was beside me, and had fallen to his knees. He wrapped his arms around my shoulder, and I felt him sobbing on my shoulder. I felt so dependent on Kevin at that moment, I wrapped my good arm around him, and clutched him close to me. I needed him more than anything at that moment. I clutched him tighter and tighter to myself.
"Jared, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I just got worried about Nick, and then you being really nice, and I guess I just blew off some steam at you. I'm so sorry." Kevin said. He was mumbling as he sobbed still.
"You have no idea how much I still need you, do you Kevin?" I released him slightly and he looked up at me confused. "Kevin, when we were downstairs, I didn't see you shouting at me. I saw my Dad. Kevin I need you to be there for me and when I try to be there for you don't push me away. You know what happened the last time my Dad shouted at me like that. But I don't want to leave you Kevin, I don't think I can. Don't shout at me when I don't do anything wrong, please Kevin. You really scared me down there, I need you, don't make me give you up, cos I know I won't make it again." I could feel my eyes sinking into their sockets. Kevin's hands loosened their grip on my shoulders, and his head moved away.
"I don't believe I've done this again."
"What?"
"Last time I said sorry to you. You told me that saying sorry doesn't always fix everything. But I go and do stuff again and again and then expect everything to be better when I say sorry. Maybe I'm the problem with this relationship." Kevin said as he knelt back on his heels. I reached over and took Kevin's hand in mine.
"Kevin, as long as I keep on forgiving you, you haven't crossed the line where you say sorry too often, ok? I'll decide when you have apologised too many times." I said with a smile, and Kevin looked up at me, the corners of his lips upturned.
"Will you come with us? I think I'm gonna need your support."
"Sure Kev, let's go."
End of Chapter 25 To Be Continued
Ok, I know it's been a while since my last update, but they're gonna be coming thick and fast now - I have three parts saved up, so expect chapters 26 and 27 within the next day or two. I hope everyone liked this chapter, oh yeah, and I don't need any more ideas, I've got the next few chapters at least planned out in my head, but thanks for the loads of great ideas all you guys gave me! Hope to hear from you soon! James