I don't know the Backstreet Boys, or N'Sync, nor is this story meant to imply anything about their sexuality, their private lives or their life choices. Please don't take any of this seriously, it is just a story, nothing more. Nothing in this story is real, it is the product of the author's imagination. That's enough disclaimers I think...
Now some suggestions, seeing as everyone else seems to be doing it. My favourite stories are: Forever (Kevin) My New Life (Lance) JC's Hitchhiker (JC) Get Another Boyfriend (Kevin) Whiplash (Kevin) Blind Date (Lance) My Surprise Romance (Lance) Josh and Just (Duh!) Lottery Winner (Joey) Jamie's Romance (Justin) Brian and Me (Brian) Kevin and Dustin (Kevin) <- I just read this one, and I can't wait till the next instalment, I can't wait to see what happens! Justin's Dancer (Justin, sort of!) Tales of a Real Dark Knight (Lance) Good Life (Justin) Under Management (Lance) That's it, I know there are more I read that I haven't mentioned, but I can't remember them right now, sorry! Well, here's chapter 41...
On The Streets - Part 41
Kevin's Point of View<<<
It's been a whole week now, since Jared disappeared, or at least since the last person we know saw him. I haven't told anybody, but, I've given up hope. This might sound really harsh, especially after only a week to have given up, but I realised something while the police were questioning me about Jared. I don't know him. I realised this while we were in hospital before Christmas, when I had to fill out those forms, there are so many things about Jared that I don't know about, things I should know. I caught him watching videos from my collection. I keep videos instead of photo albums, and I caught him watching them lots of times. I think he saw all of them, so he knows almost everything about me. Everything he didn't get from that, I'm sure I've told him at some point. But back to Jared. He could be anywhere.
Britney phoned up on Saturday afternoon, and said Jared had left before they woke up, and she wanted to make sure he had got down here ok. He hadn't arrived. I told her so, and she told me he'd left, so I just presumed he'd gone out somewhere. That was my first mistake, I could've been out looking for him in that time. By 8:00, I was getting worried. I had tried to ring Jared's mobile, the first two times I tried, there was no answer, it just rang, and from then on every time I tried the voice told me that the phone was 'unavailable'. It must have been turned off. By 11:00, I was terrified. Where was Jared? I had phoned everyone I knew who Jared knew, but he was nowhere to be found. I was really scared, the guys came over to calm me down, but it didn't do much. How was I supposed to calm down when I didn't know where Jared was. He could've been kidnapped! I knew I should have got him some protection, a bodyguard or something, ever since we came out, almost as many people recognised him on the street as recognised me.
Britney had given me one piece of information though. She had slept with Jared on Friday night. What she meant was she'd slept in the same bed, they hadn't done anything. Jake, one of her dancers, apparently got pretty amorous when he was a bit drunk, and seeing the poor condition Jared was in after having drunk too much, she separated the two of them, and slept with Jared to 'protect' him from himself and from Jake. Her plan had worked, but she feared Jared may have got the wrong impression when he woke up if he couldn't remember what happened the night before. That would explain some things, like maybe why he ran off in the first place, but surely he'd come back here first? Surely he would come get some stuff, or at least tell me somehow that he's leaving, even if it was just a note. I can't believe he'd do nothing. I think it was something else, it can't have just been that.
Anyway, the police had questioned me on the Monday. I was still practically hysterical, but Brian was there to answer some of the questions. Tim came down later as well, just so I had someone to be with, as Brian had to carry on working, the album was coming out in less than a fortnight. The police actually couldn't do anything for 48 hours. In 48 hours Jared could be dead. He could've been tortured by some kidnappers, anything could've happened in that time! The following Friday though was the last straw, I had given up. Jared obviously gave up, he left me, and I wasn't going to let it tear me apart. Jared knew he meant everything to me, he still left me, and oh God, I can't do this. Every time I try to steel myself, to tell myself that he doesn't matter, cos I don't matter to him, I just break down. Jared meant everything to me, he still does. I don't know why he's left, but I want him, no, I need him back. Oh Jared.
The police were having no luck, and it was only 3 days before the album came out. I woke up and went to sleep crying every fucking day, and I cried several times throughout every day, whenever I thought about Jared. Everything around here still reminded me of him. I hadn't washed his training kit which sat in the bag in the kitchen, unwashed from Friday, because it smelt like him. I could see his picture almost everywhere I turned. Ever since he had moved here, I had stocked the house with his pictures, everywhere. As I fell asleep at night, I could hear him talking to me, and sometimes, just when I was waking up, in that moment between sleep and wakefulness, I could feel him, feel him inside me, making love to me, his soft kisses, his tongue, his lips. I want him back.
I don't care whether he was trying to get away, or whether he did something and he ran, or whether, which I think is far more likely, he was taken. I'm gonna find him. I decided to start with Orlando. The police had worked out that he must have come back here, he was definitely on the plane. They had checked the CCTV footage, and he was filmed boarding the plane, and then disembarking in O Town. So, he must have gone somewhere since then. The cameras were able to follow him for a distance. It's amazing what they do with CCTV cameras nowadays - they actually followed Jared almost into the city centre, but then somehow they lost him, and couldn't find him anymore. He must have changed his clothing, or, been picked up by somebody, maybe kidnappers. I knew how to find out what had happened. I started a search for him.
I had a huge argument with the guys, who thought it was a stupid idea, well, they didn't exactly say that, they told me to let the police do their job, but it's been 10 days, anything could've happened to Jared! My search consisted of walking the streets of O Town, handing out flyers with Jared's picture on them, and a number to call, which was my mobile. I hoped someone had seen him. I started where the cameras lost him. I walked around those streets, anybody I passed, I gave a flyer to. I tried the shops in the area, and soon I realised that I was getting closer and closer to the city centre. It was also getting dark. Today was Tuesday, on Friday the first single off the album was to be released, and they wanted us on TRL for the World Premiere. I wanted to find Jared by then.
I actually slept pretty peacefully that night, I had been walking and talking all day long, I guess that tired me out. By the time I got home, I just sort of collapsed into bed, and slept through till 7 the next morning. I decided to change my tactic. I started in the city centre, and worked out, hoping that maybe Jared had walked towards the city centre, and then been taken or something like that.
Around lunchtime, I was still having no luck. People were looking at me funny, I know it was because they recognised me.
"Could I have your autograph, err, Mr. Richardson?" An 8 year old girl had come running up to me while I was handing out flyers. Her mother was leaning over a fruit stall, with her back turned. I didn't think she should leave her child unattended like that, but, oh well. I noticed just then the mother looked up and realised her daughter was gone, and was now on the other side of the road. I guess this was kinda my fault, I'm the celebrity, she ran across the road to get to me. I took the little girl's hand, and took her back across the road. The mother finally caught sight of us as we got to her side of the road. She was flustered.
"Oh my Goodness, thank you so much, Mr.?" She said questioningly.
"Mummy!" The little girl shouted. "This is Kevin Richardson from the Backstreet Boys." She glared at her mother as if to ask 'how could you embarrass me by not knowing something as important as that?' I smiled at the little girl, and then at her mother.
"Oh, well, thank you Mr. Richardson. I got such a scare for a moment there."
"I'm sure Ma'am, it must be terrifying to turn around and realise your child's not there." I said to her. "Oh, have you seen this man?" I handed her a flyer. The woman held it, and her little daughter saw it.
"Isn't that your boyfriend?" The little girl asked. I turned to her and smiled slightly, but it dropped.
"Yes it is. He's gone missing." I said, trying to keep the quiver out of my voice.
"Oh my goodness, that's terrible, umm, well, I'm sorry, but well I haven't seen him, I'm very sorry."
"That's ok ma'am, I'm starting to think that he might have been taken anyway."
"Taken? You mean kidnapped?" She asked in shock.
"Yes Ma'am." I replied, I know Jared wasn't exactly an A- list celebrity, but people knew he wasn't guarded, and well, he's an easy way to get to me. The woman looked sternly at the photograph for a moment. Then she looked back up into my eyes. I was hoping she was going to say something helpful, but what came out was even more inspiring.
"If you give us some flyers, we'll walk around a section of the city you haven't covered yet, and give some out." She said quietly. "That is, if you want the help." I just looked at her, I was so happy I could've picked her up and swung her around. But I refrained from the celebratory gesture, and gave her some flyers.
"That would be so helpful. Thank you." I wondered why the guys hadn't been so helpful, and why this stranger was. I remembered the little girl had asked for an autograph, so I took a flyer, folded it in two, and pulled a pen out of my pocket. I signed the back, and wrote something about how grateful I was that she and her mom had helped me that day. I gave it to the little girl whose eyes lit up once she had read it.
"Thank you!" She said loudly, then clung onto her mother's hand, and they set off, having said goodbye. I told them where they should try, and they walked off in the right direction. I watched them walk off. I saw the little girl move her hand from her mother's grip to holding onto her mother's coat pocket, as the older woman shifted the pile of flyers into a more comfortable position. I smiled, then remembered my task, and carried on. Handing out flyers was not only tiring, but extremely unfulfilling, the only thing keeping me going now was Jared. I was hungry, cold and wet as it had been raining for most of the day, and I think I was coming down with something. It was 5 o'clock, I heard church bells ringing down the street, when my phone started ringing in my pocket. I almost dropped the remaining flyers. I had told the guys not to call me, as I didn't want to risk missing an important call, so it had to be news. I pressed the 'on' button, and held the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I said into the phone.
"Ummm...Mr. Richardson? This is Anne Mackey. We spoke earlier... next to the fruit stand." It was the woman from earlier. She had probably run out of flyers and was telling me she was going home.
"Yes Mrs. Mackey, what can I do for you?" I said in as cheerful a tone as I could muster, after all, she was helping me.
"We've found Jared." She said into the phone, I could practically hear her smiling.
"What?" I shouted into the phone, I couldn't believe it. "Oh my God! I thought you were phoning me to tell me you'd run out of flyers. Where are you?" I was almost ecstatic.
"Granat Street." She replied. I knew where that was. Well it didn't matter. I was gonna catch a cab. I held out my arm, and after a moment, one pulled up.
"Ok, I'll be right there, five minutes, please don't lose him." I said quickly, she replied, then we hung up. "Can you please hurry up?" I asked the young taxi driver.
"Sure man." Suddenly, his foot was to the floor, and I was flung into the back seat. We were at Granat Street in no time. It was mostly residential, a couple of shops towards one end of the street.
"Can you just drive up and down please?" I asked the taxi driver.
"Sure man." There she was. About 200 yards up the road, still with her daughter clinging to her coat pocket. She was standing outside, a church?
"Stop." I said, then jumped out, paid the taxi driver, and ran up to her. "Where is he?" I asked breathlessly.
"He's in there. I was on my way home, and I handed the flyer to a priest as I walked past here, and he was in there. The priest had literally just seen him." She said, then she led me inside. It was a very old church, probably a couple of hundred years at least, and it had beautiful stained glass windows. It was just the sort of place Jared would come to. I can't believe I didn't think of it. There were only two people in here, one at the back, one at the front. Jared was the front one, it was an old woman at the back. I could recognise Jared from his long hair, which was now straggly and hung every direction. I actually kissed Mrs. Mackey, and said thank you to her and her daughter. I got their address, I was going to send them the biggest bouquet of flowers, and all the Backstreet Boys memorabilia that was ever made, and any other number of gifts I could think of. She walked out after that, and I saw a priest to the side, tending to some candles which had burnt down. I walked over to him. Jared hadn't been kidnapped, I wanted to know what was going on.
"Father?" I asked, I wasn't sure how to talk to a Catholic priest, I'd always been really informal with my reverend back in Lexington, but the black suit these guys wore always seemed to encourage more respect somehow.
"Yes, my son?" He was an elderly man, probably late 60s, with a withered, but stern countenance.
"The man at the front of the church, how long has he been there?" The father peered around a colonnade, and looked at Jared.
"Do you mean how long today, or how many hours has he clocked up in the last week or so?" The father said with a tight-lipped expression.
"What do you mean?" I asked him. He looked at me with narrow eyes, then seemed to see something.
"You're not a Catholic are you?" He asked me. I was kinda taken aback by that.
"Ummm...well, no." I said truthfully.
"See those beads in his hands?" That's when I looked at Jared more closely. He was praying. I nodded to the father's question. "He's praying, those are rosary beads. He's asking the Blessed Mother for an intervention." He paused. "Or forgiveness." He finished. "He's been there since about 7 this morning, and he has been everyday for the last 8 or 9. Do you know him?" He asked me. I nodded. "Well, if you know what's wrong, I suggest you talk to him. If not, don't interrupt him." The father said in a stern tone, then headed off towards the front of the church up the side.
I took off down the central aisle, headed towards Jared. Just then, the main door of the church banged, I flicked my head around, and saw that the wind had opened it and it was swinging on its hinges. I looked back towards Jared. He hadn't even flinched. I carried on up the aisle. About 10 metres from Jared, I looked up towards the altar, and saw the crucifix, the image of Jesus hanging over the altar. I prayed at that moment, it seemed the most appropriate thing, I had found Jared, I had everything, I thanked God.
I went and sat by Jared. He still didn't notice me. His face was pale, his eyes looked withdrawn, but they were shut at that moment. There was a look of intense concentration on his face. I could just hear the words he whispering, as the beads shook in his slightly dirty looking hands.
"...fruit of thy womb, Jesus, Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death, Amen....Hail Mary, full of grace..." he continued, and didn't seem to stop for the time I was sitting there. Then I put my hand on his shoulder. "Please Father, not yet." He said in a strained voice.
"Jared?" I said to him. His head looked to the side. His eyes were withdrawn, they were sunken into his eyesockets, and he seemed to be looking somewhere inside my head rather than into my eyes. He looked tired, and about ten years older than he really was. He looked half-starved. He looked hungry.
"Kevin?" He asked me.
"Yeah Jared, it's me." I said to him. "What happened Jared?" I couldn't think of anything else to ask him. Where had he been? What had he been doing? Jared slumped back into the seat he was sitting on, then sighed.
"Kevin, you don't know what I've done. You should go, it isn't right." He said to me.
"What isn't right?"
"You being with me." He replied.
"Why not? Jared, please."
"Because I'm dirty, I'm a horrible person, and I did something on last Friday that you'll never forgive me for." He said quietly. Was he talking about Britney, oh. He had made that mistake. He'd thought Britney and he actually slept together, he must have been so drunk not to remember that!
"Jared, what do you think you did?" He stood up, and started walking down the aisle.
"This is no place to talk about this, we should go outside." He said quietly over his shoulder. I stood and followed him. Once we were outside the church, Jared sat down on the stone steps. I sat next to him.
"Now Jared, what did you do?" I asked him again.
"I cheated on you." I was still surprised by that for some reason. The words coming out of his mouth didn't seem to be real somehow. "With Britney." Oh shit. He'd actually made the mistake. I thought he wouldn't make a mistake like that, or he'd at least want to check somehow first, but he hadn't he'd run. I realised he must have been so worried about disappointing me that he'd rather have disappeared than have come back and told me. Jared stood up and started walking off down the street.
"Jared?" He paused, but didn't turn around. A moment later, he carried on walking. I took off at a run after him, then put my hand on his shoulder. He spun around and looked at me, his eyes had regressed even further somehow, but I could also see fear in them, pure fear. He was terrified. "Jared. Whatever you think happened...it didn't." I said quietly to him. I might as well set him straight. He looked confused. "What do you remember about Friday night?"
"I remember drinking too much, then I remember Jake dancing, his body pushed up on me..." Jared's face was twisted with disgust. "Then he kissed me. Then I woke up the next morning, I was too drunk to remember anything in between, and in bed with me was Britney." Jared looked like he wanted to crawl under a stone somewhere and die.
"Jared, I'm gonna tell you this now, cos I can't stand to see you like this. On Friday night, Britney was worried what you might do. It was obvious you couldn't handle whatever it was you were drinking, and apparently Jake, her dancer, gets pretty horny whenever he drinks. She was worried that you two might try to do something if she left you alone, or rather she was worried Jake might do something to you, so she slept in the same bed as you. Nothing happened between you two." I looked straight into Jared's eyes. He collapsed.
Jared was ok, he was just exhausted, and suffering from hunger and dehydration. I took him home, and laid him in bed, our bed, and within a day he was all better. He slept most of the Thursday, but by 8 o'clock, he came down the stairs on his own.
"Kevin?" He asked out loud from the bottom of the stairs. I was in the kitchen, so I went through to him. He stood there in his pyjama bottoms, and nothing else. His body still looked great, in fact because he hadn't drunk anything, or eaten in a while, it looked pretty ripped. The rosary beads he'd been using in church hung around his neck, they reached to his abdomen. I had thought that they were the priest's, but when I tried to return them, he said that they were Jared's, so I left them at the bedside when I had laid Jared down. Jared was now standing in front of me, just looking at me. He still looked like a lost boy, he didn't know what to do. But to tell you the truth, nor did I. I didn't know how to feel, I mean, of course I was happy Jared was back here, but was he going to stay? And, had he done the right thing or not? If he really had cheated on me, could I have treated him better than asking him to leave? But I couldn't do that. Jared had already told me once before, when I'd shouted at him, that I reminded him of his father. I couldn't throw him out too. No matter what happened, no matter if he cheated on me, or anything at all, I would never kick him out with nothing.
"Kevin?" He asked again. I had gone into a sort of daze thinking about all this. I wrapped my arms around Jared, and he tensed to start with, but then relaxed.
"I love you Jared." I said to him quietly.
"I love you too Kev." He said to me. We each had our chins resting on the others' shoulder, and our arms were wrapped around each others' waist. We were in our own world, and nothing could take that away. Except the doorbell ringing. I pulled back slightly, but just to look at Jared. He was smiling slightly, and his eyes had lit up. He looked happy again, and I will say this: I was fucking ecstatic.
"Better get that." Jared said with a small smile playing on his lips.
"Ok, you go sit down, I'll be in there soon." He nodded, and went into the living room. I went to answer the door, and the bell rung again before I got there, even though we were only in the hallway. "Geez! I heard you the first time!" I said as I pulled open the door. Behind it were Brian and AJ.
"Hey Bri, what's up?" I asked him.
"Well, we're glad you're feeling happier Kev, and we know you're still upset about Jared, but we have to get some work done. The premiere is tomorrow, our flight up is leaving at 10 o'clock tonight, so we have to be ready for the interview. Please, look, Jared will come back to you, wherever he is, but right now we can't deal with this, it's too late to reschedule everything. Jared will come back if he wants to." Jared has such perfect timing.
"Hey guys!" Jared said as he walked in. Brian and AJ's mouths both dropped to the floor.
"Jared you're back!" Brian shouted. Then he went up to him and hugged him, AJ did the same, and Jared seemed to be happy to have them hug him. He was smiling over their shoulders at me, and I smiled back. "What happened? Where'd you go?" Brian asked him.
"Err...Brian. May I? Jared, why don't you go sit down for a second." I looked straight into his eyes, and I think he preferred to let me explain rather than do it himself. "Brian, do you remember when I told you about Britney, and how she slept in the same bed as Jared, and how she said he could've woken up and got the wrong idea?" Brian nodded slowly. "Well, he got the wrong idea." I said with a grin. AJ and Brian both released sighs. They were glad he was back too, I'm sure.
We walked into the living room, and started talking about our trip to New York, to be on TRL tomorrow.
"What about Jared?" AJ asked. We all turned to look at him. He was sitting cross legged on the couch, and he was fiddling with the beads around his neck. When he heard his name, he looked up with his eyebrows raised. I had noticed that he'd been really quiet this morning.
"What about me?" He asked.
"He can come with us can't he?" I asked.
"Yeah course, he can be in the TRL audience." AJ smiled at him.
"What are you talking about?" Jared asked.
"Tomorrow Jared, we're heading up to New York, remember the 14th? It's the date we release our first single off our new album, so we're going on TRL." Jared nodded.
"And I'm coming up too?" I nodded to him. "Ok. When are we staying till?" He asked.
"Sunday I should think, Sunday afternoon, then we'll fly back." I told him.
"I should get moving. I have to be back in Atlanta, and get ready. I'll see you guys in New York tonight." Brian stated.
"Sure Bri. See you later." I stood up and hugged him goodbye. I think he understood that the hug was more than just a goodbye for now hug, and he hugged me back just as tight. Soon AJ left as well, to get some stuff packed for our 3-day trip. I sat next to Jared on the couch after letting AJ out, and we just sat there for a few minutes. I wasn't too sure what to say now. I mean I had him back and all, but is everything just back to normal, cos to tell you the truth, it didn't feel like it, at least not until what Jared said next.
"I just want to forget this past week." It was so simple, and yet it summed it up. He leant over towards me, and rested his head on my shoulder.
"Me too."
"It was horrible without you Kevin, I don't know, I was going insane." He said.
"By the sounds of things, you were praying the whole time." I said to him.
"Yeah, and I got what I wanted didn't I?" He asked with a smile on his face. I leant down and kissed his cheek. He looked up at me, and then swivelled around so that he was kneeling beside me on the couch, facing me. Then he took my head in his hands, and pressed his lips against mine. We entered into the most passionate kiss, it was wonderful. His sweet lips pushed up against mine, his tongue in my mouth, his hands holding my cheeks and his body in my arms. If I died now, I would die a happy man. Jared pulled back, and looked into my eyes. His stomach rumbled. I tried to stop myself, but I just couldn't - I burst out laughing. It felt good to laugh again, and when Jared jumped on top of me, and pinned me, it felt amazing to have him back. We kissed again, and then we went and got something for Jared to eat. We had to start getting ready in a few hours to head up to New York.
End of Chapter 40 TBC...
OK! I know, they weren't apart for very long in terms of chapters, and in terms of time they were only apart for 10 days, but I don't like them being apart ok? Contrary to what the stories on this archive might suggest, most real relationships don't have a massive break-up then a fairytale reconciliation. So, this chapter is basically the closest you're gonna get to that in my story. I hope everyone liked it. Next chapter they're up in New York, and I'm gonna tell you now, I have NEVER been to New York, so don't blame me too much if I get stuff wrong ok??? I do however want to say that I think the attacks on September 11th were some of the most horrible atrocities committed in the latter half of the 20th century. What I write in New York may also not exist at the moment, for instance, what is at Ground Zero now, might not be what is there when Jared and Kevin go, as the story is not actually set in the present, but this chapter ended on February 13th 2003. I just hope that what I write doesn't bother too many people, and I make it sound how people would want it to sound - you'll understand more when I get to that part of my story.