I think I'm sick of using the same disclaimers at the top of every story, so I think I'll write a different one this time. I don't know the Backstreet Boys, I doubt that I ever will, I'm not denying the eligibility of Kevin and Kristin's marriage, but I can hope can't I? I am not making any assumptions about the sexuality of the BSB or any other celebrities who may appear in this story, they are merely the product of my imagination and their appearances, lifestyles and careers happen to bear a striking resemblance to those of the real life celebrities they resemble.
Right, now I'd like to make a couple of recommendations, especially for anyone who's about to start writing on the archive: Forever (my Holy Grail!), Josh and Just, My New Life, JC's Hitchhiker, Reformation, Get Another Boyfriend, and there are so many others I can't think of now, though I'm sure I'll think of them at some point, and add them to the list.
Finally, there's all the stuff about me being English, so if something doesn't make sense, then I'm sorry but it was our language first and you changed it, so don't blame me! Hope to hear from lots of people on this chapter, it's quite long, so anyway, on with the story:
On The Streets - Part 10
I heard the door slam. I was sitting in the living room of Kevin's suite and I had a glass in my hand. The slamming of the door shocked me and I let go of the glass. Fortunately, there was only carpet beneath the couch so it dropped almost silently to the floor. The glass was empty. Kevin bounced into the room. I don't mean he walked. He literally bounced. He was excited about something, and he seemed happy. Then he saw the scowl on my face, and his face dropped into his standard scowl. I didn't know what to say to start this conversation, but I knew there were things we had to get out of the way before I could start working on the tour. One of them, probably the biggest, was my current situation with Kevin, am I still a prostitute? If so, am I still getting paid for it, or is this just a sort of rest over - is Kevin's suite just somewhere for me to stay until I sign the papers on Saturday and I start my job. I had to know this, I know it may be difficult to understand, but my life's always been pretty hectic, even when I was with my parents, we moved around the country a lot, and being a prostitute, the closest thing I got to stability was always standing on the same street to get picked up. Even when I was a teacher, a supposedly stable job, I worked for most of the time as a supply teacher, so I was still always moving around. Now I would be going on tour, always moving, but at least my job would be relatively stable, I would have a regular income, a place to stay and a pillow to lay my head down on - and a man to be there for me?
"Kevin, we have to talk." I begun. He sat down at the other end of the couch and twisted so that he was looking at me. I fiddled my thumbs together, and looked at them as one thumb interlocked with the other, then broke free, twisted around and interlocked again.
"What is it Jared?" The concern in his voice almost made me not want to voice my concerns, but I proceeded anyway:
"Kevin there's some things I've been thinking about and I need to clear them up with you. I need to know these before I start working for you, well, actually I need to know the answer now, I need you to tell me what I am to you - am I still just a prostitute until Saturday, and if so then what happens when I start working with you rather than for you? Do I just forget everything that's happened over the past week? Or am I no longer a prostitute to you, have we changed Kevin, and if so then should I still be here." I looked up at Kevin and looked straight into his eyes. I couldn't gauge how he was feeling about this - was he annoyed that I should even ask that, and if so was he annoyed because I am still a prostitute, or because I'm not? Then I saw it, I could see in his eyes, and by the slight flicker of his eyelids as he caught the tears, and by the downward curl of his lips - he was hurt, I knew it! He thought of our relationship as more, and he wanted me to feel differently too, but this is only my second boyfriend, heck, this is my first boyfriend since I started as a prostitute 3 years ago and I can't remember what it was like to feel like this. I told Kevin. I told him everything. We talked for almost an hour about it and by the end, both of us were in tears. I couldn't believe it, I've got to cut down on the amount of crying I do. Kevin held me close as we finished talking. I was leant into his chest and he was still wearing his leather jacket from the interview. I could smell the rich leather, his cologne, and I could smell myself on the jacket. It was dark and comforting how I was leaning. Kevin's arms wrapped around my head and shoulders. I could hear Kevin mumbling how it was ok, and whispering things about how we'll sort it out when we start the tour, and how everything would be ok, and how I was finally where I belonged. That was another factor that I voiced to Kevin - how I felt like I never belonged. I could feel Kevin's warm body beneath me. My right hand was crushed between the back of the couch and Kevin's body and was beginning to suffer from acute pins and needles, while my left hand was wrapped around Kevin, feeling the soft, pliant leather under my hand, and I could feel Kevin's heartbeat against my face where it was held to his chest. My legs were curled up underneath me and I was beginning to experience cramp, so I pulled back and smiled at Kevin.
"Are you ok now? Do you understand how I feel about you?" I nodded. "I want you to know that I want you to feel comfortable here, and I want to start a proper relationship with you - I thought we'd already been doing that. I wish you'd told me earlier that you didn't know what our relationship was supposed to be, then we could have started acting like a real couple earlier. I want you to tell me when you feel out of place ok Jared?" He rested his hand on my cheek and I nodded. "I love you Jared." He scarcely said the last few words and I could feel the hand on my cheek stop moving back and forwards. I turned to Kevin. Is that what I felt for him? Love? It seems so unbelievable - Love for another man again - I haven't really loved anyone in such a long time, and I just want to feel it again, but am I just clinging to Kevin because I feel I need something now? No. This is it - I love Kevin, I want to try to be with him, even if this doesn't work out. Kevin took my pause as a bad sign though and he started to get up with a sigh and walked past me towards the bedroom. Once he was behind the couch I turned on the seat and said it, easily loud enough for him to hear, perhaps a little too loud.
"I love you too Kevin!" Kevin stopped dead and his head spun around - it actually looked quite comical - like one of those owls that can spin their heads all the way around. He smiled a big toothy grin at me and then ran over and grabbed me by the shoulders and kissed me. He was kneeling behind the couch and I was resting my head on the back of the couch and we kissed. It was incredible. I couldn't remember the last time someone had kissed me like that. His lips pressed gently into mine and his hand crept slowly up the side of my face, eventually wrapping itself around the back of my head. His lips parted and his tongue pushed against my lips and I parted them to let him in. Our tongues crushed against each other and I could feel his tongue move around in my mouth. He pulled back slightly and tilted his head to the other side. I finally opened my eyes and saw him open his and we pulled back. We were both a little breathless.
"So, what do you want to do now?" Talk about an anti-climax - he wasn't much good at keeping the mood going apparently.
"Well, it's almost 9, so how about we go and get something to eat? I am actually starving here!" I smiled up at him. He chuckled gently and took off his jacket and laid it over the back of the chair.
"Ok, we'll order room service, I'm sorry but I'm way too tired to do anything like go out tonight. I nodded that it was ok. "Oh yeah and do you mind if I tell the other guys that we're going out properly? I'm not sure whether they've caught on about it or not?" I nodded again that it was ok.
"When do you want to tell them? I mean you could invite them over to have dinner with us, or you could tell them tomorrow, you have a rehearsal before the concert, but you can tell them when we all get together tomorrow for breakfast." He sat back in contemplation for a minute.
"If it's ok with you, I'd like to tell them before tomorrow, so do you mind if I invite them over for dinner?" I leant over to him and kissed him again. He was so sweet, I mean he was even asking me whether it's ok to do something which I really cannot control - he could invite them anyway, or he could just leave, but then I should stop thinking of myself as just a hanger on - I have a job with them from Saturday, and I am Kevin's boyfriend now - god that feels so weird! A boyfriend I mean - I haven't had one for so long! Anyway, Kevin ordered Chinese food from room service - they had a service where they went to the local Chinese restaurant and picked up whatever you wanted and delivered it back to the hotel for you. Then he phoned Brian, A.J., Howie and Nick and told them to get their butts over here for Chinese food. I was just about to mention that maybe he should have ordered more food if there were gonna be 6 of us. But then he leant over and said "Don't worry, I only have one thing on my mind that I want to eat tonight!" It was the most erotic thing anyone had ever said to me and coming from such a good looking guy - well let's just say that I had a hard time hiding my tent by the time Howie and Brian knocked on the door. We all sat down in the living room when the knock came from the door again and it was A.J. and Nick and the room service cart - apparently they had hijacked it on the way down the hall.
Everyone sat down and I started to feel very uncomfortable. A.J., Kevin and I sat on one couch facing the other three over the table with all the Chinese food set out on the table between us. Before we started Kevin got everyone's attention and sat back into the couch so that he could see A.J. as well without having to turn around.
"Ok, before we start our meal I just want to say something that I guess will affect everyone, but we just want you to know, um well, Jared and I we've decided to be together, you know, like, romantically, we want to try and make a proper relationship work." Kevin said, and when I looked around at the guys, they all looked confused.
"Isn't that what you already were?" Nick had to state the obvious, looking back I guess it was kinda obvious to anyone looking on. Kevin and I looked at each other and we were both blushing - I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.
"Um Nick, I'm sorry, but in my, well my previous line of work I wasn't much used to having relationships, I guess most people don't want to go out with a prostitute, and so I asked Kevin about it today and he had a similar reaction - he thought we were already in a relationship too, it's just me, I didn't know cos I've gone so long without having someone in my life so, well, Kevin cleared it up for me and I'm really glad that he did and I guess he just wanted to make it official with you guys too and so we ordered dinner and asked you over. I guess both Kevin and I wanted to make sure it was ok with you guys before we carried this relationship on into the tour." There were a lot of 'aaaahs' coming from everyone around the table and then Brian started talking:
"Well it's ok with me and I'm the closest to Kevin, so it had better be ok with everyone else." He looked around and everyone was either nodding or had big grins on their faces. "Well, I guess that's it, you have Backstreet approval." He said with a big grin on his face. Everyone started eating and when we saw that everyone had taken some stuff and was filling their mouths, we turned to each other and kissed gently on the lips, barely touching. When we pulled back, we looked around again and saw everyone looking at us with smiles on their faces, except for Nick who was too busy filling his mouth to look up. When everyone else saw who Kev and I were looking at, they looked over at Nick and started laughing. He looked up to see what all the commotion was about and said:
"What?" Which got us all laughing even more!
We ate our meal in relative silence, most of us too busy eating to talk much. I have to say it was one of the happiest mealtimes I've ever had - it felt like I had everything, I don't know how to explain it any better. I knew that everything would be alright - no more arguing about tomorrow, no more worrying about the future, and no more depression from being alone. I had friends and I had a boyfriend - even better. When everyone was finished, I sat back bloated. Everyone else however was still looking pretty hungry. "What's for dessert?" Nick asked. All eyes turned to Kevin. I thought Nick was joking!
"I don't know - that's all I ordered!" The guys all groaned. I was leaning back on the couch and Kevin was sat forward. I put my hand onto his back and he turned around to me. It was amazing how good he looked - his hair hung down and he had this quizzical expression in his eyes and a question playing on his lips.
"How long does it take to get a car for us?"
"The limo's on call, so about 10 minutes probably, why?"
"I know where you can get the best ice cream this side of Dusseldorf." I smiled up at him and he reached over to the phone on my left. He was leaning on my stomach, and Kevin is no lightweight, so this was actually pretty painful, especially with a full stomach. I heard Kevin order the limo and he basically told them to get it outside pretty damn quick or else, and I laughed at that. The other guys all jumped up when they heard Kevin say that the guy was already downstairs, so he could be ready in a minute. Kevin pulled me up by the hands and practically dragged me out the room, but I told him I needed something to wear - it was cold outside, so he went and got me a sweatshirt from his room which I pulled half on before Kevin dragged me the rest of the way out and towards the lift. I finally managed to pull myself out of the darkness of the recesses of Kevin's sweatshirt once we were in the lift and I leant against the back wall. When we reached the lobby, I was once again pulled out and dragged out the lobby and into a waiting limo. I could get used to travelling like this.
"Where to, sirs?" An Essex accent came through the intercom from the driver's section.
"Camden Town, Belsize Park end, cheers mate." I had reverted to Essex talk for some reason and when I looked back at all the guys sitting around the limo, they were looking at me with confused expressions on their faces. "What? You don't change your accent depending on who your talking to?" They all just smiled and shook their heads. I guess it was more common for people to do in England - as much cultural variation as there is in the US, we still have dialects which make us into a different type of society. As the car approached Camden Town, I asked the driver to stop at a certain point quite close to Belsize Park tube station. We got out and went into the ice cream place - Marine Ices. It was dark inside and the rest of the guys went up to the counter and started looking through at all the flavours that sat in tubs behind the glass. Nick then stuck his head up.
"What's good in here Jared?"
"Well, I love the mint choc-chip flavour, but the pistachio and watermelon flavours are nice too." I ended up ordering a mint choc-chip cone, Kevin had the same and he admitted it was good ice cream. The other guys had an assortment of flavours - chocolate, strawberry, lime, cinnamon and others. We piled back into the limo and it was so cute to see that Kevin had some ice cream around his mouth. I leant over to him, told him to come closer and then kissed him full out on the lips. He responded and I made sure that my tongue went around the edge of his lips. "Mmmm, minty." He smiled back and sat back into the seat. We were back at the hotel in no time. It was obvious that everyone was tired from the day of sightseeing today, so all the guys went to their respective rooms and very soon no sounds were coming from the floor, except for from Kevin's suite. Kevin and I talked for about an hour while we were lying in bed. Nothing too deep - basically we talked about our favourite things, what we wanted to do while we were on tour, Kevin filled me in on where we would be going and the conditions inside a tour bus and so on. Finally we both drifted into a peaceful sleep.
Friday morning soon caught up with us and I was woken yet again by the banging of the door to the suite. The other guys were all outside this morning, with hungry looks on their faces. I couldn't understand how these guys could eat so much and remain so thin. We started the normal breakfast routine once I'd woken Kevin up and we sat in a comfortable silence as we devoured our room service cuisine. I turned to Kevin when I was done to find him just finishing his second plate of food. "What are we doing today Kevin?" I knew there was a concert which Kevin reminded me of and obviously that would have a sound check before it, but what Kevin suggested next surprised me:
"We have to go and pick up the stuff you want to take on tour with you, this is probably the last chance we'll get - tomorrow you'll be stuck in meetings all morning to make your position on the tour formal." I gulped - I was hoping this wouldn't come up.
"Kevin, um, look at the clothes I'm wearing." He looked up and down.
"Yeah, they're mine, so what?"
"Kevin, apart from the clothes I was wearing when I came and maybe an extra change of underwear or two and a t-shirt, I have no other clothes." I looked into his eyes, longing him not to say anything else, but it apparently wasn't him I should have been worried about.
"Ha! Great! We can go shopping then!" A.J. shouted out loud.
There was a long pause. "A.J., I don't have enough money at the moment, maybe I could get some after I've worked for you guys for a while. I'm sorry." The other guys looked at me sympathetically, that was something I really could have done without - sympathy. I stood up and walked into Kevin's room. I took off his clothes and put on the ones I turned up in on Monday evening. I couldn't believe I'd been wearing mostly Kevin's clothes for about 3 and a half days now. I could see the edge of the jeans were frayed and I could also see the holes developing in the base of the socks, and the shirt was damaged beyond repair. I sat on the edge of the bed with the shirt in my hands. I couldn't believe I had put up with wearing it for so long, it looked like shit. I looked up when I heard Kevin walk in the room with a slightly upset look on his face. He shut the door behind him and leant up against it.
"Are the guys upset about me walking out?" I thought A.J. might have been hurt that I'd left or the other guys might have been because I didn't want their sympathy.
"No, they're not actually. They all understand. Don't try and shut us out though Jared, it won't work." I looked up Kevin with an as apologetic look in my eyes as I could muster. "I spoke with management a few moments ago. I think I know how you can get your clothes now." I looked up at him hopefully. "According to your contract, there's an equipment clause - because you're working as a fitness instructor, they put it in so that you could buy things like workout outfits and stuff that you might need for the job. However, I spoke to management and they're willing to allow you a budget to buy a wardrobe because well, you need it. You'll be able to use our company charge cards so don't worry about how you can afford it. I also made sure that a verbal agreement was enough to activate the equipment clause. So if you phone up management then you should be able to get a budget for a new wardrobe." I looked at him and couldn't believe it - he was so...so... well, he was everything. He even provided me with clothes for God's sake! I hugged him really hard. I threw my shirt across the room. I finally was rid of it and I could throw it out. I walked back out into the living room, suddenly very self conscious that I was topless. I sort of mumbled an apology to the guys as I walked past and they mumbled back in a similar fashion that it was alright. Kevin walked right past me, picked up the phone and called management. In a couple of minutes I was on the phone and agreeing to the equipment clause in the contract and basically just promising that once they bought me all these clothes that I would not just run off with them. They were beginning to make it sound like a small fortune that I would be running off with. Then the executive on the other end of the line quoted the figure I had to work with. I dropped the phone. It clattered to the floor and Kevin came over and picked it up. "Hello, hello?" Kevin talked into the phone for a few minutes then hung up. He walked back and sat down leaving me standing by the phone table. I turned around and looked at him.
"Did you hear how much he offered me???" I asked him, almost hysterically.
"Yeah, £4,500, it's a pretty standard wardrobe deal. Though if I were you I'd save about £1000, just in case you want or need to buy some more clothes later in the tour." I launched myself onto his lap and kissed him. I hadn't had this much money, well ever. He smiled at me as I sat back down next to him.
"A.J., I would love to go shopping with you, and I know just the place." I stood up again and dialled a few numbers. I told A.J. to go and get ready, we would have to leave in about half an hour. He jumped up and ran out the room, apparently as excited as I was about shopping for clothes. Kevin stood up and walked to me.
"So, where are we going?" Kevin asked.
"Who said you were going anywhere? I invited A.J.!" He looked gobsmacked. He really wasn't expecting that. "I'm kidding, you can come." And then I just started laughing - he still had that shocked expression on his face. "Look, if you want to come, go and get dressed now!" He looked at me, smiled and walked into the bedroom. The other guys said they were going to hang around at the hotel today, until sound check at 4. I nodded and followed Kevin into the bathroom. He shaved while I showered and then we switched. We were dressed and outside Kevin's suite waiting for A.J. once we had ordered the limo. We waited about 5 minutes for him before Kevin's cell phone started ringing. It was A.J..
"Where are you guys? I've been waiting down in this lobby for 25 minutes now, are you coming or what?" We both laughed at A.J.'s eagerness to shop. We met A.J. down in the lobby and climbed into the limo. We went to Harvey Nichol's - I knew all the celebrities came here, so I guessed it was good. I also knew someone who worked here, who could arrange for a private fitting upstairs, which I thought must have been pretty cool, though I did have to drop the Backstreet Boys' names into the conversation a few times before he agreed to it.
I have never tried on so many clothes in my life!!! I was actually tired from trying on clothes! I eventually decided on one suit which looked pretty cool with a high cut lapel. Kevin didn't like it much, but A.J. explained how it was more fashionable in Europe, and Kevin accepted it. I also bought a couple of pairs of jeans and a pair of casual trousers and a couple of sleeveless t-shirts and a couple of normal shirts as well as a few 'wife-beaters' I had no idea what they were until A.J. pointed them out - we call them vests. I left that store with what must have been a dozen bags. We piled into the back of the limo and were back at the hotel in no time. We had spent almost three hours of me putting clothes on, walking back and forwards in them, taking them off and starting all over again. By the time we got back, well, I was exhausted! I wanted to go upstairs and lie down, but Kevin insisted I take the stuff out and stow it in the tour bus. Once we were out back where there were three buses parked, I was confused.
"Um Jared, perhaps we should deal with this now, rather than later. I know we've said that we're together and everything, but you see the first bus is for us, the second," and he pointed to each of them in turn, "is for security and the third is for support staff, like lighting, make-up, and so on." He was leaning against the back door of the hotel. I had long since dropped the bags. "What I'm trying to say is that although we said we were together, well, I want to give you the choice - do you want to stay with the other support staff, or do you want to bunk with me?" He looked at me in the eyes, not quite expectantly, but longingly. I went over to him and kissed him, gently on the lips, and pulled back.
"Of course I'll stay with you, I doubt I could even sleep without you now." I smiled and we headed off towards the first tour bus. We placed all my stuff in the hold, except for one casual change of clothes, which I took with me. We headed back up to the room and sat in the sitting room.
"Thank you for choosing to stay with me, I didn't want to have to get down on my knees and beg for you to stay." Kevin said with a smile on his face.
"Oh, I don't know, we could have had some fun with you down there!" I chuckled and he joined in, then he leaned over and kissed me. I leant back into the arm of the chair and he was laying almost full length on top of me. Our tongues were in each others' mouths and things were getting very heated. Kevin's hips ground into mine and our hands were all over the other's body. After a couple of minutes and no chance to get into anything interesting, the door knocked. Kevin groaned and touched his forehead to mine. I chuckled and climbed out from under him. I swung open the door quite violently and apparently scared the person on the other side. It was Brian.
"Oh, you're back, we weren't sure, um, well we were wondering if you would join us for lunch? It's just A.J.'s collapsed and Nick's really tired for some reason, I think he was up too late playing on that damn computer, so it's just Howie and me, and we were wondering if you wanted to order room service or if you guys wanted to go out somewhere?" Kevin appeared behind me and slipped his arms around my middle and kissed my neck.
"We'll be across in a minute Brian, order some room service, I don't care what you get."
We sat in Brian's room eating lunch, it was nothing particularly fancy, just some meat, vegetables and some sort of cake for dessert. The guys wolfed it down and afterwards Kevin and I went back to his room and slept the rest of the afternoon. We were both pretty tired from our shopping spree this morning.
At 5:00, our wake up call arrived in the form of Brian and Nick banging on our door. Apparently they had a concert to get to. We followed a pretty similar routine to Wednesday night - we piled into the limos, when we got there, they did a quick sound check and then they went back for make up, wardrobe and just to get ready for the concert. The actual performance was similar to the Wednesday one - there was a foot different here, a light alteration there, but it was very similar, except for 'The One', Kevin came on the stage before the others.
"How is everybody out there?" A scream came up from the audience.
"It's good to hear that everyone's having a good time here in London!" The screams got louder. I wouldn't have been surprised to see Kevin flying back from the sheer force of the screams into the band.
"This next song, 'The One'," the screams went up again, "is dedicated to someone very special, who walked into our lives recently, and told us that this was his favourite song of ours, so tonight it is dedicated to him, thanks for everything, J." I knew who it was to, a few people backstage, and the guys, knew who it was dedicated to, but I loved him for it anyway, it was a sweet thing to do, and I'm glad he didn't mention my name, the name Jared is so rare, I was worried someone might guess who it was. The song went off without a hitch and I have to say I thought it was even better than Wednesday night's show. Once the guys came running off, they made their way to the backstage rooms, though Kevin did stop to say he loved me and he kissed me, then he went backstage too to get the makeup off and to remove the costume. I waited just outside the dressing room tonight. He came out and put his arms around me. We walked to the limo, the concert had been over for about an hour by now, so we didn't have to worry about fans. We climbed into the limo, and headed for the hotel. Most of them had come down off their high by now and were heading into the land of Nod. By the time we arrived back at the hotel, the other guys were barely conscious. Kevin and I woke them up and helped them into the lift and up to their rooms. Kevin and I finally got back to our own. He dropped face first onto the bed, so I helped him take off his trousers and shirt and underwear. I took off my own too and after positioning Kevin on one side of the bed, I climbed in the other. Kevin leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. Then we both fell into a peaceful sleep, wrapped in each others' arms...
To Be Continued... End of Part 10.
See Jimmy, they're together, dontcha just love it???