One More Year 15 ~ Nifty

One More Year

by Bradley Scott

**Note:

This is a rewrite of an older story of mine on here called Another Day, which I never finished, and no longer really like, but I'm hoping to redeem it.

This is written in British/South African English, although almost all similar media I consume is American, so that will probably have its influence, but not on spelling. For the purposes of keeping this note short, I'll include specific non-common words I use in a list at the bottom.

**

**Disclaimer:

No underage sex happens between any of my characters. I tend to make that quite clear in the narrative, but just in case it isn't, I state it here. (This is also more Romance than Erotica, so the sex doesn't happen right away, but when it does, everyone is 18.)**

Chapter 15

The old auditorium had been given over to our year for prelims and finals. It wasn't massive - just about the size of two regular classrooms, which is what it would be converted to after finals were over. It once housed the whole school for morning assemblies, but as the student population grew, it had become impossible to fit everyone inside. They'd then built something much grander, with all the money they'd made off their excessive fees.

So it had been a practical choice to just shove the whole Matric class in there for prelims, and fortunately it was just big enough. There were only forty-five of us, after all. The year above us had been smaller, so they'd fit in a single classroom, and the year below us was so big they'd probably have to be put in multiple classes anyway.

'Preliminary examinations' were in full swing. They were apparently very important, and we were supposed to be suitably terrified. But the question papers were still drawn up by our teachers, and they were also in charge of making sure we didn't cheat, so the impact on our final grades would be quite low compared to the much more rigorously structured finals. I'd heard from my siblings that the whole point of prelims was to be so difficult that you got a terrible mark and studied harder for finals, anyway.

But seeing as I'd been studying with Louis, Angela and Sue this whole time, and actually putting in effort for once, I really wasn't worried. Maybe I should have been - my brother had even phoned me up to 'prepare' me for how much I was going to struggle, but we'd done one of the Maths papers and the Accounting paper already, and I'd breezed through them. And Sue and I had been terrified about Accounting, but we'd both thought that it had gone fine. After that one, everything else felt easy.

Was I being cocky? Maybe, but I didn't think so. I'd never worked this hard in my life. Part of it was Louis and Angela's good influence, but I'd also been throwing myself at schoolwork so that I didn't have to deal with the Eric thing - either talking to him too much, or thinking about how he'd react when I told him I didn't want to be with him any more.

Or the Jamie thing, actually. He was still coming to my house a few nights a week, and had been since the Science Fair. But lately all that happened was that he'd get there, we'd have our fun, and I'd send him home, so I could carry on studying. It felt uncomplicated now, and I hadn't wanted to kiss him again. I still didn't know how I felt about that, but it didn't seem important any more.

The last thing I was worried about, though, was not being prepared for this particular prelim, which was our English Literature paper. Angela and I had written a dozen essays on each of the setworks - Anthony and Cleopatra, The Catcher in the Rye, Disgrace - and we'd discussed them back and forth. Louis and Sue had just read them and asked us questions. She'd been slightly more panicked about it than he had, naturally, but all four of us felt pretty ready.

I wasn't trying to cram facts into my head before the test, because I didn't have to. Even if I'd wanted to, I couldn't have, because Ellie had commandeered my notes and was busy rifling through them urgently. I had my phone out, and was keeping one eye on the door for when Mrs. A came back in. I was busy chatting as casually as I could to Eric, enjoying the brief stretch of freedom before the test.

Oh my god

I almost forgot to tell you

I met someone online who goes to your school

He's in your year

Okay.

You know there are like 20 guys in my year.

It's not like you've found a unicorn.

Jay

He's gay

OH.

Well you could have led with that.

Shit.

That's intriguing.

Can I tell him about you?

No.

Wtf?

There are definitely people in my year I don't trust.

He says I can tell you about him.

His name's Nick.

Well, that had happened suddenly. I wasn't exactly shocked at who it was. Nick sort of embodied a lot of gay stereotypes. I hadn't automatically assumed it, but having hung out with a group of homophobes in the past, it wasn't as if I'd never heard it muttered about him either.

He was Angela's main competition in Art class - he didn't have her technical skill, but she didn't have his prodigal creativity. He was kind of the school's go-to authority on any sort of grand art or design project - set pieces for musicals, banners for events, nativity scenes around Christmas. That sort of thing.

His dad owned a custom furniture company, and helped him with a lot of his work, so everything he did was usually immaculate and incredibly professional. But that was all I really knew about him - he was very soft-spoken, and I thought I'd heard him say about five words through-out all our time at school together.

I looked over at him. His back was to me, and he was sitting around the table with his friends - Lea, Clair, Samantha and Tiffany - and periodically checking his phone.

Ah.

So you do know him?

Again, there are like 20 guys in my year, so I obviously know who he is.

But I don't know him that well.

Don't tell him about me yet.

I don't need to be worrying about that during prelims.

Okay, that's fine

Don't tell anyone about him

Yeah, of course.

Have to go.

Okay

Bye

I shoved my phone in my bag, and made an effort to avoid looking directly at Nick. Talking to Ellie about it would have been nice, but she seemed busy with the notes, and I didn't exactly want to out Nick to her - despite how ready he'd been for me to know.

I kept him in my peripheral vision though, just to make sure he wasn't looking over at me. Maybe I was being paranoid, but I wasn't entirely sure I could trust Eric to keep me being gay a secret. He'd told Louis without my permission, after all. Every now and then I'd sweep my eyes over the rest of the room, in an attempt to act casual while still keeping an eye on Nick.

Jamie was over at the next table. After breaking up with Megan, he'd eventually started hanging out with his friends again, and after the holidays he'd stopped hanging out with me and Ellie so much - during the daylight hours, anyway. Matt was pouring over notes, and Ryan had a pained and panicked expression on his face. Drew and Jamie were casually chatting, and making jokes which Ryan didn't seem to be enjoying. One of the things they said made him flinch, and they both laughed.

"Don't be a fag, man." Drew said, tossing a pencil at him. Jamie laughed.

I looked over sharply, fixing my eyes on Jamie's, and his laughter quickly died down. He, of all people, shouldn't have been laughing at that. Matt very calmly looked up from his notes, and punched Drew in the shoulder.

"Don't say that word man." His tone was serious. "That's fucked up. You sound like a bible-basher asshole."

"Fine, sorry." Drew held up his hands.

I looked away, and frowned. Ellie was still busy with the notes, so I couldn't do anything but sit there and fume. When my phone buzzed, I picked it up, eager for a distraction, but not finding a particularly useful one. It was a message from Jamie.

Shit, sorry. I shouldn't have laughed

It was stupid and bad

It's fine.

Whatever.

K

I shoved my phone away just as Mrs. A stormed in, flustered, with the question papers. The test was exhausting. I'm not really made for handwriting page after page after page. By the time we were done my hand was covered in ink, and cramping up. I thought I'd handled the topic well, though.

We'd gotten to choose which setwork we wanted to write about, and I'd chosen Anthony and Cleopatra, because I'd liked the quote they wanted us to base the essay off of. While I was busy reading the others, the idea had lodged in my mind, and I'd ran with it.

Anthony hadn't been Cleopatra's first choice - Caesar had been brought low by treachery, after all - but she'd had to adapt. To move on. Anthony had played along, and why not? None of the politics of Rome had been as serious. For him, it had never been the politics of survival that Caesar and Cleopatra had always had to be proficient at. Ultimately Cleopatra, Egypt personified, wasn't served by her entanglement with the seemingly unlimited power of Caesar, and Anthony had been a poor consolation prize.

It was indulgent bullshit, but I had a lot of fun writing it, and I'd peppered it with all the themes the question had suggested. So Mrs. A would probably give me a lot of grief as commentary, but I'd still hit all the points I needed for a decent grade. She tended to get mad when I 'pandered to standardised testing', but since she was on the national board that ran our syllabus, I'd always found that a little hypocritical.

As fun as it had been, I was glad it was over. We didn't have another test for a while, and I'd only be meeting up with the others to study late the next day, so I was able to spend the afternoon reading, playing games, napping and hanging out with my family. Even that last one seemed kind of appealing, after how hard I'd been working.

By the time my phone buzzed that evening, I'd almost forgotten how mad I was at Jamie. Almost.

?

Ugh. After laughing along with Drew's casual homophobia, he wanted to come suck my dick. On the same day. I sighed.

Fine

😉

We'd all focused and worked hard for the English prelim. It was the only subject where I ever felt in real danger - if you had a bad day that happened to line up with a test, you were screwed. So I wasn't proud, but I hadn't seen Jamie for over a week at that point, and saying no didn't really feel like an option. Plus, I couldn't be sure he wouldn't buckle down for the physics test - which was only three days away - and be less likely to come over.

My brain wasn't making the decisions that night anyway. The best it could do was play catch up to my unruly body. I just wanted to relax, and have fun. And if romantic feelings for Jamie didn't seem necessary for the sort of things we did together, I was willing to go without even friendly feelings for just one evening.

It didn't mean I was in the mood to be nice though. When he got to my gate, I just quietly opened it for him.

"Hey," he said, and I just nodded and walked back to my room.

While I was sucking him off, it was fine. It wasn't as if it was Jamie - it was just a dick. Which was a weird way to think about it, but it got me there. It was hard in my mouth and leaking precum, and when a disembodied voice shouted "I'm cumming" I let the fluid fill my mouth and swallowed, incredibly turned on.

It was only when I rose to my feet, and he dropped to his knees - when I could suddenly see his face - that I remembered it was him, after all. I was still annoyed, but insanely horny, so I was hardly about to stop him as he wrapped his mouth around my cock. His attention was elsewhere as I frowned down at him. I grabbed his hair, and began to control his rhythm, forcing him onto me. He gagged slightly, but he didn't resist or try to say anything, so I didn't stop.

It happened a few more times, and after a particularly violent reaction of his, I smirked, unable to help myself. "Is the word 'fag' funny now?"

He just moaned - maybe a laugh, maybe an apologetic noise - and continued to bob away at my dick. The hum of the sound sent a vibration through me. I bucked my hips, causing him to gag a bit more, and before I knew it I was letting go. He was still struggling, so I pulled out, and a few squirts of my cum hit him in the face and dribbled down onto his chest.

His eyes were watering slightly, and he looked directly up at me, rubbing his dick at an incredible speed. He groaned, and I stepped back - out of the way - as his body convulsed. He sprayed ropes of cum, and they began to puddle on the floor.

He let out a noise halfway between a laugh and a gasp. "God, that was fucking hot."

I didn't reply, and just walked over to the bedside table, grabbing the towel and tossing it to him. Still frowning, I headed to the shower, a little bit shocked at how I'd just behaved. It didn't seem to have bugged him much - within a few seconds, he climbed into the shower after me and latched his hand onto my dick, and within a few minutes we were both orgasming again, our cum washing down the drain.

Once he'd gotten dressed, his eyes fell on the Physics notes I'd set out on my desk for the next day. "Hey, would you mind if I checked these out quickly?"

"I guess." I shrugged. I hadn't planned on going to sleep immediately, and I was feeling a bit guilty for getting so rough with him, even if it seemed like he'd enjoyed it. "I was just going to read and relax a bit."

"Okay." He winked. "Just kick me out when you're tired, kay?"

"Sure." I was prepared to ignore him, and since I was planning on staying up a little later anyway, it didn't seem like too much of a problem.

He grabbed my notes, and went to sit down on the couch to flip through them. After a moment's hesitation, I grabbed my book and sat down on the opposite end, facing him. It was this trashy, generic bit of sci-fantasy, but I loved it. Everyone's getting their limbs replaced with beautiful and super-strong crystal prosthetics, but it turns out the crystal substance is connected to some sort of sinister entity that's starting to control them all.

It's a really easy read, so when Jamie starts peppering me with physics questions, it's not too difficult for me to answer him. I mostly ended up just directing him to the right place in my notes, and clarifying one or two things when they weren't clear.

After a while, it was obvious his attention had started drifting - he asked about my book, my social plans, whether I knew if anything new had happened with Ellie and Gary. I brushed him off the best I could, but I was beginning to get drowsy, and I considered sending him home.

He looked over at me and grinned. "So...You ever get fucked?"

"What?" That woke me up.

"Like, a penis in your ass."

"I know what you meant, but Jesus." I rubbed my forehead. "No, I haven't."

"What about the other way around. You ever fuck a guy?"

I closed my book. "No."

"I wonder what it feels like. Getting fucked."

"I've heard it hurts." I shrugged. I hadn't been ready to try it out with Eric when we were still together.

He tilted his head. "Yeah, but, it's supposed to be good once you're over that, isn't it? Like, the prostate is up there."

"Sure."

"I stuck my finger up my butt once while I jerked off." He grinned. "You ever done that?"

"NO," I said - emphatically. I had, but this conversation was going in a weird direction, and I was feeling awkward and horny again.

"It was awesome. Great orgasm. Bit messy though."

"Gross." I wrinkled my nose.

"Yeah, well." He shrugged. "You can prepare for anal. Heard of douching?"

"Yes." I raised my eyebrows. "You've heard of douching?"

"Yeah, sure." He laughed. "They sell kits in pharmacies. It's not like... a big secret thing."

I didn't say anything. I'd begun to suspect what he was going for, but I really hoped I was wrong. There was something familiar about this conversation - like the night he'd convinced me to let me get a blowjob from him.

"I'd let you fuck me," he said casually. "If you want to."

FUCK. I was not wrong. But I still didn't know how to respond to that. "Jamie..."

"You don't have to decide like right away. I'd need to get ready for it, anyway."

I sighed. "Right."

"I'm just saying I'm open to the idea, and you should think about it."

I paused for a moment, and then shrugged, looking back down at my book. He wanted to be calm and casual about this? Fine. So could I. Or, at least, I could pretend to. "Okay."

"Okay?"

I didn't look up. "I'll think about it."

"Okay, cool."

I sat there for a second, and then looked up, pursing my lips.

"What?"

"I'm tired." I smirked. "Get out."

He put down my notes and laughed. "Yes, Sir!"

I let him out, and as he walked across the street to his car, I couldn't help but check out the shape of his ass in his shorts as he sauntered away. And since it was Jamie, of course he caught me looking - he'd probably been walking that way on purpose. Before he drove off, he gave me a mock-salute, and winked.

***

đŸ`

He kept texting me peach emojis that week, which I'm sure he thought was hilarious.

He probably knew that my calm promise to think about it was a bluff. In reality, I had no idea what to do. I still hadn't told Ellie, and this was hardly a good time to start. Louis knew now, even if he didn't know it was Jamie. Louis could probably even give me some incredibly helpful advice, but I just didn't even know how to start that conversation. I didn't want him to think less of me.

It's not like I even knew what he'd done with guys before. He never really talked about that sort of thing. I pretty much only knew that something had gone on between him and Eric, and then it ended. I'd vaguely picked up hints that Eric was not the first guy he'd ever done stuff with, and he seemed to know a lot. But that wasn't much to go on.

In the end though, I didn't feel like I had any other choice. Louis had never made me feel bad about asking or telling him something before, and it seemed like he never really judged people. I eventually worked up the nerve to just message him, and regretted the way I chose to start that conversation immediately.

I don't know much about your sexual history.

Well, good. My family doctor can keep a secret. 😀

Sorry, awkward way to approach the topic.

Hahah. No, it's fine. I know I don't talk much about it.

I get that there's a degree of curiosity, for your own reasons

I'm just not exactly the kind to volunteer that sort of info

And it's not as if you've ever asked

Can I ask?

Sure

Don't laugh at me if I don't know how to talk about it, okay?

I won't. I promise.

Okay

I couldn't quite figure out how to start. I typed a few things, and then quickly deleted them. Eventually, it was clear that he was getting a bit impatient.

Literally anything

Just ask ANYTHING

This is hard.

That's what he said! 😀

Is this helping yet?

Decidedly not

Sorry

I'll be serious 😐

Okay, well, then I'll just be blunt

Anal

Oh my

Have you done it?

Yeah

Giving or receiving?

Both

Really?

Yeah

The guy I met before Eric

We dated for about 2 years, and we did pretty much everything

Everything I could think of, anyway

Oh

What happened?

Well, first he put the condom on...

WITH THE RELATIONSHIP!

Do you want a sex talk or not? 😀

Make up your mind

But yeah, he moved away

It really sucked

I can imagine.

Yeah

We probably wouldn't have lasted, in the long run

At least that way, it was this tragic, romantic thing

Why are you asking all this, anyway?

The relationship stuff is a tangent.

Yeah, I assumed

You want to know about ANAL

Hahah

Yeah 😕

Well it'll be easier to give you helpful info if I know WHY

Okay

Fine

That guy I told you about wants me to fuck him

He took a while to respond to that. I paced back and forth, feeling stressed out, while I waited for his answer.

Wow

Okay

That's a big step for you

Yeah

Do you want to do it?

Kinda

If you want to do it, you should do it

Just use condoms

And lots of lube

Right

And he should probably douche

He knows about douching. He has this whole plan.

I suddenly know why you're nervous about this

What? Why?

You hate plans. Nothing terrifies you more.

Haha. You don't know my life!

I absolutely do 🙂

It does feel like something that should happen spontaneously.

Yeah, you need to lay off the rom-coms

It's anal

Preparation is required, spontaneity is the enemy

Fine, whatever.

I don't know what I'll do.

But I think that helps.

Thanks.

You're welcome

Now go to bed

Study group tomorrow

Must. Be. Alert.

Okay. Thanks again.

Night.

Night!

I went to bed not really sure what I was going to do. I didn't get the chance to talk to Louis in person about it at our study groups - his mom always gave Angela a ride to my house, so they arrived and left together every day. We managed like half a minute when Angela was in the bathroom and Sue was on her phone. He asked me if I'd made up my mind yet, and I told him I hadn't.

But I made the mistake of avoiding Jamie while I was trying to decide, worried that he would try to pressure me. By the time the physics test had rolled around, I had jerked off almost every night thinking about it, and the thought was driving me crazy. I avoided Jamie at the test - he looked so hot that day - but by the time I got home, it felt like it wasn't my brain that was pulling the levers any more, and I texted him an eggplant emoji.

🍆

Hahahaha!

That mean what I think it means?

Maybe.

When do you want to do it?

I don't know.

Saturday?

This Saturday?

Yeah

Why

You busy?

No. It's just soon.

But fine.

As long as it's at night.

Late.

Sure

See you Saturday then

😉

***

Saturday came a bit too quickly for my taste. I spent the first half of the day trying to figure out what I needed to look like, and the second half of the day trying to figure out how to get there - both without Ellie's help. I still hadn't told her, obviously, so I was on my own. It's not as if I could have just gotten her to dress me up nicely, no questions asked. That definitely wasn't Ellie's method.

Still though, I tried to think 'What would Ellie do' and that helped. I figured I needed to look casual, so that Jamie didn't mistakenly think I was in love with him, but still well-groomed, so that I felt confident enough to go ahead with it. By the time Jamie messaged, I was a frazzled mess on the inside, but on the outside at least I was shaved and gelled and smelled faintly of cologne.

Still on?

Yep.

K, cool

In like an hour?

Sure.

I don't know what I did in that hour, but it felt like it was over before I could blink. It was as if I'd just woken up to find myself out at the gate, unlocking it for him while he smirked at me, and stepping aside to let him walk down the dark garden path as I locked up behind us.

Because he'd been coming over so late each night, and never stayed over, I'd gotten pretty casual about closing up my room. I'd still been locking the doors, but I hadn't stressed so much about the curtains and blocking out the light at the bottom of them. That night, though, it felt necessary, and it had the added benefit of giving me something else to do while he unloaded things from the bag he'd brought with him onto my bedside table.

I walked to the bed when I was done, and looked at the things he'd laid out - a box of condoms and a bottle of lube. My chest tightened. "I need a minute."

"Okay. I'll just get comfortable." He took off his shirt.

I rushed off to the bathroom, closed the door, and just sort of stared at my reflection. Was I really about to do this? Did I really want to do this? At a physical level, yes. I really, really wanted to.

There was definitely a part of me - metaphorically and literally - that was entirely ready to go. But I'd freaked out a bit when I'd seen Jamie's 'supplies'. Of course, then he'd taken off his shirt, and I felt a little bit more on-board with the whole idea again.

Maybe Louis was right, and I was only nervous because planning scared me. The problem was you could always have a better plan, and if things went wrong, it was your fault for planning poorly. Even if you hadn't been the one with the plan, you should have offered up a better plan than the one you decided to go along with.

If you just reacted to things that were happening, however, it took the pressure off. Whether things went badly or well, at least you could console yourself with the fact that you made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time.

As I stood there, eyes fixed on my reflection, I realised that was kind of a cop-out. The idea that I was capable of making good decisions in the moment was bullshit. Maybe that reasoning applied in a dry, academic environment, or navigating awkward high school social interactions.

But Eric and Jamie had shown me, more than anything, that when a cute guy was involved, the capacity for reason that I usually relied on to make those snap decisions completely deserted me.

I was freaking out about getting pulled into Jamie's plans, but I was getting pulled into other people's plans all the time. It had been Ellie's plans that had gotten me to Caitlyn's party in the first place, and that's where any plans I'd had - however loosely held - had fallen apart.

Eric, once he'd seen me, had made his plans, and that first night together had been amazing. Even afterwards, I couldn't regret it, because all the good things with Eric that had happened had felt like they were always going to be more important to me than whatever bad things had happened afterwards.

I took a deep breath, and went back out into the room. Jamie was lying down, absent-mindedly toying with his erection. He looked up as I stepped up to the bed. "Hey."

"Hey."

He got up, his cock bouncing as he wandered over to me. He grabbed my shirt and lifted it, and I finished taking it off while he unbuckled my belt and pulled down my jeans. I dropped my underwear and then kicked off my socks, and then he gave my dick a few tugs.

"I, um..." He smiled nervously. "I've already loosened up and stuff. You just need to put the condom on and put some extra lube on it, and then we're good to go, I guess."

I took a deep breath. "Okay."

We stepped over to the side table, and he handed me the condom. I tore open the wrapper and put it on. At this point, I'd seen videos about it in Sex Ed classes so many times that it didn't seem like a weird thing to do. Although applying practical knowledge from school in this situation certainly felt strange, at least. Once I had it on, Jamie squirted some lube on his hand and then ran it along the length of my rubber-clad dick.

"Okay, let's do this." He turned around to face the bed, and got down on all fours, spreading his legs.

I could see his asshole. I almost giggled, but I suppressed it. That definitely wouldn't have been a good response. It was pink, and moistened with the lube he'd already applied. It was definitely a turn on, even though it wasn't something I'd ever thought about that much. But something about it being Jamie - or maybe just the fact that he was here, physically, and I could anticipate what was about to happen - that was pretty exciting.

I almost kind of wanted to study it. But I felt like Jamie would start to get a bit more impatient. I didn't want to give him expectations of any interaction between his ass and my mouth by lingering there. I definitely wasn't ready to do anything other than fuck him.

I was still finding it hard to believe I was even considering that. But as I put my hand on his hip, and braced the tip of my dick at his hole, those considerations didn't seem so serious. I pushed and felt a satisfying sort of popping as I slipped inside. He exhaled sharply.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm good." He gasped. "Hurts a bit. But it's fine. Keep going. Just... slowly."

"Okay."

I pushed myself into him, letting out little gasps every now and then at the sensation. It felt amazing - tight, and soft in a way that his mouth just wasn't. I was also trying very hard not to get too distracted by the little grunts and groans he was making. It would have been very easy for me to get carried away and get too rough. I tried to just focus on going in at a slow and steady pace. When my cock had bottomed out, and my hips were pressed against his, he was panting.

"You okay?" I asked again.

"Yeah. Kind of. Fuck, you're big." His laughter sounded strained. "Let's stay like this for a minute, please."

"Okay."

I ran my hands up his sides, and felt my way around to his chest. I pinched his nipple, and then ran my right hand down to his cock and grabbed it. He was rock hard, and when I stroked him, he arched his back and moaned.

He panted. "I think I'm ready."

"Okay."

"Start slow."

"Sure."

I gently withdrew, moaning in pleasure at the sensation of his insides trying to hold onto my cock as I pulled it out. When I was most of the way, I pushed back in, and he moaned at the change of direction. I got all the way in, and pulled out again. Then I repeated the motion. I began to get into a steady, slow rhythm, and Jamie's breathing had become short and ragged.

"Faster." He gasped.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yeah- shut up- just- faster."

"Okay."

He sounded like he was having trouble speaking, and it drove me a bit wild. I had been holding myself back, and all I'd wanted to do was to go harder and harder. I didn't immediately dive into the pace I would have liked, still thinking it would hurt him, but then he asked me to speed up again, and I was happy to oblige.

If he'd asked me again after that, I probably wouldn't have been able to muster the force, and I let out a gasping laugh at how much effort it had become. But I didn't mind - it felt too damn amazing. Our bodies slapped together rhythmically, sweat began to coat our skin, and the air filled with the musky smell of our sweat, and hints of the scent of the lube.

"I need to roll over." Jamie said eventually.

I pulled out and stepped back, and he flopped onto his back, scooting to the edge of the bed. He lifted his legs, and I quietly stepped up, grabbed his ankles and pushed my dick back into his hole, eliciting a delighted moan. I began to thrust. The position wasn't as comfortable for me - I'd had to bend my knees to get the alignment right. I wasn't going to be able to do it like this indefinitely, but that seemed like the less urgent issue. Seeing him like that wasn't going to let me hold back on cumming for too long.

His rock hard dick bounced up and down with each thrust, leaking precum onto his abs. His chest heaved, and occasionally a guttural moan would erupt from his throat, punctuating his heavy breathing. I reached for his cock, but he blocked my hand with his.

"Not now." He panted.

"Okay."

If the position was working for me, that was nothing compared to the effect it was having on Jamie. His face was flushed and his eyes rolled back into his head with my each stroke. His every breath had become a little moan. The sight, sound and smell of him all began to overwhelm me, and I could feel myself getting close. I shifted my hands down from his ankles to his calves to steady him as I thrusted, and at that moment he let out a loud groan.

"Oh fuck." He gasped.

His whole body tensed, and his fists clenched at my sheets. A rope of cum shot out of his dick, so forcefully that a bit of it landed on his chin. Subsequent spurts of diminishing range then coated his chest and abs, pooling in his belly button.

It wasn't just the visual that did it for me. As he came, his hole clenched, and it was as if my dick was in a vice grip. It felt amazing. With a final deep thrust, I exploded, filling the condom. The force of the orgasm drove the breath right out of me. I felt light-headed, and pretty pleased with myself as I stood there, buried inside him and panting.

I pulled out slowly and straightened my legs, groaning. "Fuck, that was amazing."

"Can you... um..." he said softly. "Uh... pass me the towel."

"Oh, sure."

When I let go of his legs, he lowered them to the floor. I crouched down and tossed him the towel from my bedside table, then wandered over to the bathroom and pulled the condom off, tossing it into the sink. Grinning at my reflection, I washed my hands and splashed some water on my face.

It had been amazing. I still wasn't in love with Jamie or anything - maybe a first time like that would have been better if I had been, provided he'd felt that way too. But it was something I'd fantasised about before, and we'd wanted to do it, so we'd just done it. I felt almost giddy. I dried my face off the hand towel and went back into the room.

Jamie was already up, and half dressed. He picked up his shirt and looked over at me. "I really need to go."

"Oh, okay." I blinked. He was usually very relaxed after we got off, but he looked tense. Or something, maybe - I'd literally never seen Jamie look tense, so I had very little to compare it to. It was kind of freaking me out a bit. I hadn't heard him get a phone call or anything. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, whatever, I'm fine." He grabbed his shirt, and wrestled it on. "I just need to go."

"Okay."

I let him finish dressing, and then walked out with him to the gate, unlocking everything quickly ahead of him. Something was up, but now that the warm post-orgasm feeling had worn off, I was just vaguely annoyed at him for pushing to do this and then not just letting me enjoy it for a bit. Maybe I should have felt more worried about him, but Jamie hardly seemed like the sort of person you ever needed to feel concern for.

All I could think about was the fact that this had kind of been a revelatory moment for me, and thinking about his weird mood and abrupt departure was wrecking it. It occurred to me eventually that if he wasn't going to help the feeling, it was probably better that he had just immediately left.

After he was gone, I went back inside and stripped the sheets - I think we'd somehow managed to not get any cum or lube on them, but something about them felt like a crime scene, and I wanted them gone. I changed them to fresh ones, and went to have a shower.

It wasn't easy to get to sleep that night - my brain was just racing too much. At the heart of it, I wasn't anything too much more than slightly annoyed. It had been a big experience for me, and Jamie had kind of ruined it. But I was willing to admit to myself that I'd maybe been harbouring some fantasies about the way I'd wanted the night to go.

I definitely thought he'd probably try and convince me to let him fuck me, and after seeing how much he'd seemed to enjoy it, I probably would have considered it. But I'd also planned to bring up his no-kissing thing if he did that. A part of me - a ridiculous part - kind of even hoped he'd confess his feelings for me.

I didn't want Jamie in that way, any more than I thought I wanted Eric back. But I liked the idea that a guy would want me that much. Which probably wasn't fair, when I didn't feel the same way. I just felt like I'd need more if Jamie and I were going to carry on doing things. Without that, I wasn't sure what any of it meant, or what I even wanted from it. Or even if I wanted to keep doing it.

Eventually, I decided I just wasn't going to worry about it. I had the rest of my prelims to get through, and anything else could wait.

***

I didn't hear from Jamie again for a while, and before I knew it, the AP maths prelim was over. It had been the last one - I was done. Even the way Jamie bolted out of the room before I could get anywhere near him couldn't quite tamp down the joy of that. The weather was also miserable - cold, windy, and it looked like it might rain later. But I didn't care about that too much either. I could curl up under a mountain of blankets and play video games for a week if I wanted to, now that prelims were over.

I headed to the bathroom on my way out, relaxed and looking forward to the holidays. They wouldn't be long, and we'd have to start with moderation as soon as we were back. Not as serious as finals, and technically we weren't allowed to prepare for it. The moderators were just supposed to come in and make sure our teachers were giving us the right marks.

But there was a chance our marks could go up, so Sue had been bugging us - the newly dubbed Top Four, now that Louis had joined us - to plan some study groups for it. Louis and Angela were probably already working on a schedule.

But I didn't want to worry about that yet. For now, I was free, and ecstatic about that. On my way out of the building, my phone buzzed with a message from Ellie.

Leave without me.

Getting a ride home from someone else today.

Gary?

No.

I'll tell you later

Maybe

I frowned. Ellie and I hadn't seen each other a lot over prelims, and I'd wondered - maybe a bit insecurely - if we were still friends. I'd mostly been studying with Angela, Sue and Louis. Ellie and Sarah had shared more subjects, so the two of them studying alone together kind of made sense. No one had really had any time for fun activities. Aside from me and Jamie, but that was, of course, a bit different.

But I thought Ellie would at least have stormed into my house the night before and demanded to see my AP maths notes. She hadn't, and now she was doing this. She probably had her reasons, though. It was a tough test, after all, so maybe she'd just wanted to buckle down and focus.

I made my way out to the parking lot, and found Louis waiting out at the front of the building as I approached. I still hadn't told him about everything that had happened with Jamie, even though I'd really wanted to. It felt too odd to do it over text, and every time I'd seen him since, we'd been around Angela and Sue too much for me to get into the topic.

"Hey." I came to a stop in front of him.

"Oh, hey Jay." He looked up and smiled. "I'm just waiting for my mom. She's going to be a few hours late today."

"Oh. You could have asked me for a ride."

He grimaced. "I actually only remembered now. But it's fine. I don't have to study or anything, now that we're done. I can wait."

"It's seriously fine. Ellie's not coming home with me today, and I have time." I put my hands in my pockets. "Plus... I kind of need to talk to you about something."

"Ah, okay." He hopped up. "Those do look like rain clouds up there, so it might be nice not to have to risk it. Thanks."

"No problem."

We got into my car, and I made my way out of the parking lot. We'd barely been on the road for five minutes when the downpour started. He turned to me as my wipers started up, and grinned. "My hero."

I laughed, and we lapsed into a comfortable silence for a bit. Well, relatively comfortable. I wasn't quite sure how to bring the Jamie thing up. Fortunately, it was Louis, so I didn't really have to.

"So this thing you wanted to talk to me about. I'm assuming it's that guy you were doing stuff with."

I could feel myself blushing. "Yeah... Good guess."

He shrugged, looking out the window into the rain. "I figured it was that, or Eric. And you haven't mentioned Eric in a while."

"How is he, by the way? We haven't really talked too much in the last couple of weeks."

"He's good. I think he's been busy too. Pretty quiet, but he seems fine. Cheerful, even. But you're deflecting."

"I am." I laughed. "Okay, so we did it."

"And by 'it' you mean..."

"Yes."

"Ah." He scratched his cheek, and looked over at me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just..." I sighed. "It kind of seemed like he was freaking out afterwards, and now it seems a bit like he's avoiding me."

"Oh, no." He frowned. "Sorry, that sucks."

"Yeah." I shrugged. "I'm pretty annoyed, because now I have to navigate this whole... situation, you know?"

"Sure." He nodded.

"But I don't think I really care. I was wondering if I should put a stop to it before this, anyway. If he wants to keep his distance, that's fine, I just hope it sort of stays that way."

"Well, that's pretty firm. Good for you."

"Thanks. I'm just not sure what to do now."

"Prelims are over, right?" He smiled. "So... Nothing. You can just relax and not worry about anything for a couple of weeks. Well, aside from how you're going to deal with Eric."

"I suppose."

"And then we can get through moderation, and buckle down for finals. Then you can find guys you're into who aren't confused."

"Yeah, more of those please." I sighed. "What about you?"

He blinked. "Me?"

"Yeah, you seem to be making good choices this year and avoiding drama. Aren't you interested in anyone?"

He smiled sadly. "Yeah, it's not so much that I'm making good choices. It's more that- nah, never mind. But yeah, I'm happy to just focus on school right now."

"Well, guys are missing out. You're cute and smart."

He blushed furiously and shook his head. "Thanks."

The chat moved on to more casual topics after that - music, books, the next movie night and my strategy for dealing with Eric. I didn't really want to fixate on the Jamie thing, but towards the end of the drive I'd gone silent, thinking about the whole situation again. Louis, being Louis, clearly noticed.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked as I rolled to a stop in his driveway.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I grimaced slightly, hearing how fake that sounded.

He gave me a patient smile. "What is it?"

"I just feel a bit stupid. You know, this feels like the second time I've done stuff with a guy. And it's also gone really badly."

"You're not stupid. What they don't teach you in Sex Ed-" He paused. "Oh, do they do Sex Ed at Elohim?"

"Yeah. After the third student pregnancy in two years, they thought of changing their strategy." I smirked. "Or were told to, by an angry PTA. And maybe a lawyer."

"Right. Good call." He laughed. "Anyway, I know there are some places where Sex Ed could be better for gays. But even for straight people, Sex Ed tends to only cover the physical stuff. Reproduction, Hygiene, Condoms, STDs. That sort of thing. They don't really try to drive home the fact enough that it's other people you have sex with, instead of just bodies."

"Yeah, it sucks when bodies have to have their own opinions."

He laughed and gave me a quick hug. "My point is that it's not just the sex - the stuff around sex is also really tricky, and basically no one has the answers there. So don't be too hard on yourself. You'll figure it out."

"Thanks." I said.

"Any time. And thanks for the ride." He got out and swung the door shut behind him, dashing through the rain to his front door as I pulled back onto the road.

Talking to him had filled me with hope, like it normally did. The weather was miserable, and Jamie was being weird - and both of those things would probably carry on for a while. But I didn't have to do anything for at least a week, and I was going to try and enjoy that.

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Terms: (Not necessarily appearing in this chapter)

• Matric - Final year of schooling in South Africa. (Senior year is the American equivalent, I think.)

• Moderation - Sort of an educational audit, where external moderators check up on the school's standards.

• Prelims - Mock finals, essentially mid-terms, but specifically geared to prepare you for finals.

• Maths - Self explanatory, of course, but I just want to make the point that the are MANY mathematics, so calling it Math is bizarre. Get your shit together, America.

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