Open Arms 5 by Carter (nicksxtacy@hotmail.com) m/m CELEBRITY/Boy-Bands
Disclaimer: This story is a work of Fiction. It is not meant to reflect the true sexuality of anyone mentioned within, especially not NICK CARTER or any member of the Backstreet Boys and is strictly taken from the author's over-active imagination. If you are too young or it is illegel for you to continue, DON'T. The author takes NO responsibility whatsoever for any harm that is caused to anyone by reading this etc. so if you're not supposed to be here, GO AWAY, please.
Author's Note: I appologize immensely for the delay and hope you enjoy this installment despite it's lateness. I just want to warn you that towards the end it does skip quite abit of time, just because I needed to get the story to a more advanced point in time....I hope it all makes sense. I promise that the next one will be better written, if there is a next one....
Thanks to you know who (my one true ANGEL) for the ultimate inspiration, you make my life worth living.
Now on to the story.
OPEN ARMS- CHAPTER 5 by Carter ( nicksxtacy@hotmail.com )
Nick awoke and quickly snapped out of his morning daze as he felt two unusual sensations. The first was the feel of cold air against his skin, as he realized that somehow his shirt had been removed and then next was the warm sensation beneath him. As he opened his eyes, Nick realized in shock that he was in his hotel room bed, shirtless and lying in Brian's arms, with his head resting on Brian's chest. A quick glance confirmed that Brian was fully clothed and was sound asleep. Nick took the opportunity to look up at Brian's sleeping face and admire the well-defined features that never failed to make his heart skip beat. Nick loved the way that Brian's lips were never fully closed while sleeping, causing a slight whistle as Brian exhaled. The soft light brown hair that topped Brian's head was another of Nick's weak spots when it came to his dreamlover. He loved the feel of Brian's hair, words couldn't describe it's feel. It was softer than silk, light and always smelled like the peach scented shampoo that Brian always used. Nick let his eyes linger on his bestfriend's eyelids that held those beautiful baby blue eyes as he longed to be loved by the man who now held him so lovingly...the man who was to be wed in just a few short weeks.
The young blond allowed his thoughts to wonder away from Brian's beauty as he tried to understand what led him to this position: he was in his own hotel bed, shirtless and lying with Brian. As he thought back to the night before, he remembered knocking on Brian's door and not getting an answer and then lying down on the bed and listening to his discman until he eventually must have fallen asleep. But then how did Brian get into his room, and what on earth possessed him to sleep in Nick's bed, and how did Nick's shirt get taken off?
As he looked around the room, Nick noticed the door that joined his room with Brian's was slightly ajar. He carefully slipped out from under Brian's arm and placed a pillow against Brian's chest so that Brian was now comfortably clutching the pillow. As he was about to leave the bed, he hesitated and then leaned over and with one hand he brushed a few stray hairs from Brian's forehead as he carefully kissed the love of his life on the forehead. `I love you Brian, more than life itself' he half thought, half whispered, though it was said so softly that even if Brian was awake, he probably wouldn't have heard a thing. Nick left the bed and crept to the door. As he glanced into Brian's room, he saw Kevin on the bed, Howie on the couch and AJ on a chair, all peacefully asleep as if they were right where they belonged. Nick was thoroughly confused and try as he might, he could not possibly understand what had caused the five men to end up in their present positions. Realizing that he wouldn't be able to find out what had happened until someone woke up, and knowing that with this being one of their few free days he decided to let them sleep and take advantage of the position that he had Brian in.
Nick began by closing and locking the door that separated his room from Brian's so as to eliminate the possibility of any of the other three walking in on him and Brian. He then moved to the phone and called the front desk. After he finished placing his order, Nick looked once more at the sleeping angel and headed into the bathroom. Nick stared into the mirror as he brushed his teeth, and tried to look past the same face that had stared back at him for the past 20 years and into his soul. The youthful features, gorgeous eyes and sinful smile that he was so used to seeing were shared with the world. On any given day thousands of people all around the world looked at the face of Nick Carter, but his heart and soul were sacred places that few people were allowed to touch and they ached for their soul mate. Nick knew that so many people waited their entire lives to find their soul mate and yet at the age of 20, he knew exactly who his was. The thought of knowing exactly what he wanted from life was a comforting one, but a terrifying one all the same. Rather than struggling to discover what he wanted from life as did so many young people, Nick had to deal with the fear of losing it. As he mentally counted down the days until Brian would commit himself for all of eternity to Leighann, he asked him self one simple question, `Why?'. It wasn't as if he hated Leighann just because she was with Brian, but because he couldn't comprehend how Brian could possibly be happy with her. Nick had seen through her lies from the beginning and he knew that all she wanted was the fame and fortune that Brian could bring her .She would have gladly seduced anyone with some sort of celebrity status, it was unfortunate that Brian had fallen for her. Nick knew that Brian deserved and needed so much more from his partner than Leighann was prepared to offer. Nick, on the other hand, was ready to do anything and everything that it could ever take to make Brian happy. He knew that Brian needed to be loved, needed to be cherished, needed to be appreciated in ways that only Nick could and that Leighann was incapable and unwilling.
As he finished up, Nick made a silent vow to use these last weeks he had with Brian, the bachelor to show his best friend just how much love he had to give. Nick needed Brian to make up his own mind but he also had to somehow make Brian realise that life could be so much better without Leighann. As Nick stepped out of the bathroom, he quickly opened the front door to wait for the bellhop and avoid having him knock and wake up Brian. Nick was surprised to see the cart of food approaching being pushed by woman. Upon recognising his face from the night before, the woman gave Nick a sly smile as she wheeled the cart of food into his room. Taking a glance around the room, the woman from the front desk saw what she was hoping to see, Brian fast asleep on the bed. She couldn't help but be pleased that the two young men who seemed so perfect for eachother had found their way to eachother. She was proud of herself not only for having had the thought to give Brian the key to Nick's room, but also taking the credit for the necklace that now hung around Nick's neck. As Nick thanked her and tipped her for the food, she couldn't help but comment on the situation,
"I hope you enjoy the food, and should you need anything else, don't hesitate to call the front-desk, just ask for Babette. And by the way I love your necklace," she gave Nick a quick wink and nudged him lightly before making a quick exit and closing the door behind her. Completely confused, Nick didn't know if he had just been hit on or not. Then, remembering what she had said, Nick looked down at the necklace' that she had complemented. He remembered having broken his necklace from Brian, so he was confused as to what he was currently wearing. He moved to the neareast mirror and gazed at the new chain around his neck. It was two silver rings, linked with a heart. Instantly Nick fell in love with the chain and wondered when Brian had gotten a chance to buy it . A thought hit Nick and left him with such bitterness that he removed the necklace and left it on the bathroom counter as he began to shed a few tears. "He must have bought that necklace for Leighann, and then gave it to me out of pity because I broke the other one." Nick said quietly to himself. "Well I don't need anything that was meant for that bitch." he thought vengefully. Nick stormed out of the bathroom and was about to yell at Brian but stopped in his tracks as his gaze fell upon the sleeping body and he gasped at the pure beauty that radiated from Brian's body. How could I possibly be mad at him? It's not his fault that I feel like this, he doesn't know that I love him. He was probably just trying to make me feel better since I was so sad. I have no right to get mad at him for that, he really is a sweetheart. But I'm still not going to wear it. He can just give it to Leighann like he had planned to." Nick thought to himself as he cherished the sight of the man on the bed.
Remembering the tray of food, Nick wheeled it over to the side of the bed and then proceeded to lightly shake Brian by the shoulder.
"Brian....yo Bri, wake up man..."
"Huh.....what?" Brian moaned as he sleepily opened his eyes. What he saw was his best friend, Nick staring back at him expectantly. Brian took a few seconds to let his eyes become adjusted to the light as he tried to remember the events of the night before. As soon as he remembered the sight of Nick screaming, crying and convulsing on the bed, Brian shot up and wrapped his arms around the taller boy, hugging him like his life depended on it,
"Nick, you're alright! You're awake, you're okay!!!"
"Of course I'm okay Brian...why wouldn't I be? Are you sure that YOU are alright?" Nick said as he pulled Brian off of him while gasping for air.
" You mean, you don't remember anything from last night?" Brian asked with amazement. He had thought that the morning would bring an akwardness as Nick realised what had been said, but with Nick seeming unbothered and not remembering the night before, Brian was left with a new sense of confusion as he realised that he may never find out what happened to make Nick slip into his coma-like state.
"i don't know what you're talking about Bri. The last thing I remember is knocking on your door, not getting an answer and then I guess I must have fallen asleep. And then this morning, you're in my bed."
"Nick, last night I came to you're room, but you wouldn't answer the door, so I thought you were out. Then just a little while later, I heard you screaming and I came running, but you wouldn't wake up and open the door. So
I came in and you seemed to be having a bad dream, except no matter what I did, you wouldn't wake up. I tried everything, and in the end I ended up staying here with you to make sure you didn't hurt yourself or someone else." Brian quickly gave a tame version of the story, still debating whether to reveal the entire truth.
"That's so weird Frick, cuz I honestly don't remember anything after I knocked on your door and then lay on the bed. And that reminds me, weren't YOU the one who suggested that we get together last night, and then you were out when I came to your door. What's up with that?" Nick tried to makes himself sound angry, although he knew that anger towards Brian was a very rare emotion.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Frack, I meant to be here, but i was ordering your nec....hey wait, where's your necklace? I could have sworn I put it on you last night. Oh, don't tell me it got lost..." before Nick could answer, Brian was on his knees searching all around and under the bed for the necklace. Nick quickly grabbed the necklace from the bathroom and dangled it in front of Brian.
"This necklace, Brian?" he asked innocently, trying to contain his laughter at the frantic Brian.
" Yes, that one. And why aren't you wearing it, don't you like it?" Brian was hurt that Nick had taken it off, after he'd stressed so long about which one to get.
"No, Brian, I think it's gorgeous, and I love it, but I know it must have been for Leighann but you gave it to me to make up for the one I broke on the plane...it's okay Bri. I appreciate the gesture but I don't want you to give me something just because you think you have to, especially not something that was meant for your fiance. The other one meant so much to me, because it was special, it was from you on my 16th birthday...it meant a lot to me and I had attatched alot of sentimental value to it, so by just giving me a necklace that was meant for Leighann, it cheapens the value of it Brian. I'm not a charity case..." Nick turned away from Brian and walked towards the window so that Brian would not see his tears, dropping the necklace on the floor. The younger man knew very well that despite his efforts, Brian knew him well enough to know that he was crying.
Brian paused as he went over all that Nick had said. He slowly walked towards Nick, stopping only to pick the necklace up off the floor and to open the clasp. When he reached the blond, he carefully turned Nick around and looked up at his tear-streaked face and into his crystal clear blue eyes.
"Nick, did you bother to read the inscriptions on the rings?" Brian tried desperately to read Nick's expression as the boy cautiously read the words engraved in the silver, looking as though he was afraid of what they would say. As he read the words, "Frick" and "Frack", Nick thought of how stupid he had been and realised how he must look like the biggest fool on the face of the earth.
"Oh, Brian, I'm so sorry, i'm such an idiot, it's just that..." Nick was interrupted as Brian placed a warm finger to his lips, and then placed the necklace around Nick's neck and secured the clasp. He then returned to his stance in front of Nick and once again took Nick's hands in his.
"Look, Nick, it's obvious that things are rough for you right now, and I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on with you, because truthfully, you're scaring me. I know I promised to give you space, but I'm really, really confused and more than anything I'm worried about you. I need you to know that I'm always, always going to be here for you, no matter what and that I'll never ever leave you. I don't want you to be afraid that I'm going to leave you, because it ain't gonna happen. Maybe once I marry Leighann we will see a little less of eachother, but Nick , my marriage does not mean the end of our friendship, okay?"
Nick looked at the man before him and heard the sincerity in his voice and the vulnerablility in his look. Nick suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt as he thought of all the confusion and pain that he'd caused Brian over the past few days when Brian had so much on his mind. What Nick wanted the most was his Frick's happiness, and if he made his last days as a bachelor miserable, then Brian would probably be desperate to sign his life away to Leighann. `I have got to make him the happiest person. I need to make his next weeks as carefree as possible so that he can make up his mind to marry Leighann based on love rather than him marrying her out of his need to get away from me'. With that thought complete, Nick returned his thoughts to the present moment.
"Oh, Brian, I ordered breakfast for us, it must be cold by now."
"That's alright Nick, how about you call downstairs and order enough for all of us, and i'll go get the rest of the guys and we'll all have breakfast together. They should all still be nextdoor actually."
"Sounds good to me Bri." Nick tried to conceal his disspointment. He would have loved to have a nice quiet breakfast with Brian but if Brian wanted to eat as a group, then what Brian said was what Brian would get.
While Nick phoned in the huge order to the front desk, Brian went nextdoor and preceeded to wake up the three remaining Backstreet Boys. Once he had them all fully awake, and reasonably alert, Brian lowered his voice,
"Look guys, Nick's awake and he's fine. The thing is, he doesn't remember a thing about last night. Not the dream, not the convulsions, nothing at all..."
"What? You mean he doesn't remember when he said that he loved you?" Howie asked.
"No, not even that. He has no recollection whatsoever, and I've decided that for the time being, he really doesn't need to know. Whatever he dreamt was obviously rather traumatic for him, and I don't want to think about what might happen to him if he remembers what happened. Now, we're all going to go next door and have breakfast with him and we're all going to act like nothing happened. Ok? That means, no smartass comments from you Howie, and AJ, no teasing him..." Brian made his wishes known in no uncertain tone.
"What about Kevin, doesn't he get warned?" AJ whined.
"Kevin, I'm counting on you to help me through this. I'm so confused and emotionally drained, but I can't let him see that. I need for him to feel completely at ease with everything so that we can help him through whatever this is that he's suffering through. No matter what, Nick needs to know that things are fine and that no matter what, we're all there for him and that he's not alone. Now is that too much to ask of any of you?" Brian looked at them expectantly.
Kevin looked at the four faces before him, "Brian., I think I speak for all of us when I say, we'll do whatever it takes to help him through this. You know him best, so when it comes to Nick, whatever you say, goes."
Howie and AJ nodded in agreement and they all stood and headed over to Nick's room for breakfast.
The next three weeks would go by very quickly as the boys embarked on their non-stop tour of Europe. Brian kept himself sane by rooming with Nick so that he could make sure that he was alright, while Nick did all that he possibly could to make everything seem normal, so that Brian wouldn't have to worry about him. But as the days before the wedding became numbered, a new sense of panic filled Nick as he realised that he was closer than ever to losing the love of his life for all of eternity. Ironically, Nick was the best man and had been trusted by Brian to take care of all the last minute details of the wedding. Nick was torn between his loyalty and love for Brian which compelled him to do the best job he possibly could and then his heart which loved Brian in a way that only soul mates can. Nick was a wreck and couldn't let Brian see it. With just seven short nights left until the wedding, Nick pulled out his journal. At one stage in Nick's life it had been the most important thing to him, and it housed all of his emotions, thoughts and dreams. Lately, Nick had been too busy to even give it a second thought, but on this lonely night, Nick turned to his journal to document his thoughts and his final decision. Nick had put hours of thought into it and had finally made up his mind. At one point, Nick had thought that realising that he was gay was the most important moment in his life, but now he realised that this decision was even more important. He shed endless tears as Open Arms played on in he background. As he lay in his bed, back in Orlando Nick was shaking through his sobbing as he tried to steady his hand enough to write the two words on the page,
It's over.
TO BE CONTINUED ???
So, how was it? I know I haven't gotten back to many of you who have been writing, and I apologize (in my defence, I'm in the process of writing final exams and finishing all my final term papers). To those of you that I have answered, it's not that I like you more, and to those that I havent' answered it's not that I like you less. I love you all for taking the time to encourage me and offer your feedback and appreciate it more than you can imagine. I promise that EVERY one who writes this time will get an answer, and I'm begging you to please all let me know what you think. I'm starting to question whether to continue writing or not. I was so passionate about writing this, because reading other stories and seeing how Nick is usually portrayed as an evil heartless person, I felt compelled to share the real Nick Carter with the world and that's what I've attempted to do, be true to Nick in every was possible (except for the fact that he's not gay...) but a few nights ago I read yet another story (i won't name it) that made Nick seem like a horrible person and I wondered, if all of you hate Nick so much, then why continue? So I need to know what you guys think of the story, whether you'd like for it to continue and WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN.
Thanks for the support and I look forward to hearing from all of you.
Oh, and if any of you are looking for another great story, you NEED to check out "Because I Loved You" by Lucas Thompson, it's incredible (and it doesn't bash poor Nicky =)
Always & 4 Ever,
Carter (nicksxtacy@hotmail.com)