This story is a work of fiction. This story contains will at some point contain sexual contact between two underage males, if this material is illegal to read then please hit the back button now. Everything in this story is made up, the names and people are created by the author: Please do not copy or paste this anywhere else, now that is out of the way please feel free to email me. alectyler@live.ca
CHAPTER ONE
The walls were cold and blank like a fresh snowfall. There was equipment lined up against them all the way down, as far as the eye could see. The smell of death was in the air; it was so strong that people choked on the stench. No one ever stayed long; they either left through the front door, back into their life or out the back door, to a place not many spoke of out loud.
The back door led to somewhere not so welcoming, an earthly bed for all eternity. The people who worked there soon learned to become like robots. They allowed nothing to hurt them.
Jake was more than glad that he was just a visitor; he hoped that he was going to leave the same way that he had came in, alive. Jake hated being stuck in the stupid hospital bed with nothing to do but think about what had led to him being stranded in there. Jake winced, the pain in his shoulder was returning, the medication that the nurse had given him earlier was wearing off.
The pain was mind blowing but Jake wasn't ready to whine to anyone about it, not like Jake had anyone to whine to at the moment anyway. Complaining just wasn't him, it didn't solve anything it actually made things worst most of the time, Jake could take a little pain, and it wasn't like Jake had a stab wound. That would be crazy to be laying here with a stab wound, maybe to you but to him, to him it was reality.
Someone had felt that they needed to inflict overwhelming pain on him; Jake had been no match for them. Jake had never expected them to do something like that it was just unimaginable. It was his fault he should've just kept his mouth shut, then this wouldn't have happened. Jake knew he wasn't welcome back there; He didn't want to go even if he had been welcomed. Jake refused to tell anyone who had done it, he ruined the very foundation of his life, and he deserved the pain.
Jake had made it happen, it was his fault, and he chose to do what he did. Jake wasn't going to ruin more people's life; He had hurt enough people with his words. It was just wrong, to wreck someone's life just because his was now destroyed. How was he supposed to get past this, and move on with his life. Jake had no family that wanted to take him in; He only had his best friend, the love of his life, Sam and his mom. Even then Jake couldn't ask anything like this of them.
This was his problem, Jake created it and he'd deal with it. Sam`s mom was the mother Jake always wished his mom had been like. She had passed away after a car accident. His dad was never the same; he drank more and worked less. Last year when Jake turned sixteen, Jake got a job to help support the family. Sam quickly became the most important thing in his life; he was everything in his eyes. He was willing to do anything for Sam, as a result Jake ended up in here, but he didn't blame Sam, he blamed himself.
He should have known better, should have trusted his gut. His mom always told him that it took real courage to admit that we loved each other, it was a gift from above and we should always cherish it. He had been afraid of telling his father so he held back. Sam was never given the chance to tell his mom on his terms, she caught us in his room making out. At first she didn't want to accept it, but over time she grew to support us both. Something like that was very hard to hide, and there were times we didn't want to hide it. We hated keeping it a secret but we lived in fear that people would hate us for being different.
His greatest fear was his dad finding out, he had made his views clear many times, he would surely hate him, Jake knew him inside out and Jake knew his father would be disgusted. Jake would be a disappointment to him, unable to give his father the grandchildren he wanted, Jake's happiness meaning nothing to him. He`d only think of himself and how it reflects on him and his reputation. Jake's fear was justified, injuries don't happen by accident. Sam knew nothing of what had been happening to him, Jake was afraid that Sam would worry or think something less of him and Jake didn't want him to do that. It was bad enough he knew what his father was like, no one else needed to know.
Jake knew he would have to tell him soon, someone had to pick him up and sign him out. Jake picked the phone up from the bedside table and dialed Sam's number. It only rang three times before someone answered with a hello. It was Sam's mom. "Hello Mrs. T. how are you?" Jake stated trying to keep his voice even. She always treated him like he was a part of the family; she showed him a different kind of love than the kind Sam gave him.
"Not too bad, Hun. Hold on a second, I'll go get Sam for you." She had replied back
Jake shifted around the bed trying to get comfortable. "Wait! I need to talk to you first." Jake said trying to stop her.
"Ok go ahead" she said
Jake took a breath and shifted around some more, Jake just couldn't get comfortable and the pain was getting worse.
"Could you possibly pick me up? If you can't, it's ok. I'll just find another way."
Jake really didn't want to tell her where he was if he could, but she was the only one that could help
"Sure Jake I don't mind, the store by your house right?" she asked
This was it; Jake had to tell her, there was no way out of it. Who knew what his dad would do, it was unthinkable if he had to come sign his son out. "It will take a little longer than ten minutes to get here I'm not at home. Please don't say anything to Sam but I'm kinda at the hospital." Jake told her
There was a short pause, like she was digesting it. It was the longest second that Jake had ever experienced. "Are you okay? What happened?" she asked. You could hear the concern in her voice, a tear rolled down his cheek. Jake pretended like he didn't hear her ask about what happened he didn't want to think about it. "Yeah, I'm ok, just a few bruises that's all," Jake lied.
He knew she would soon learn that he was hurt more than he had been letting onto believe but Jake didn't want her to worry too much on her way there. Jake was scared, would she tell Sam even though Jake asked her not to, what if he had overheard.
"As long as you're okay. Jake dear, you have to tell Sam, it's not like you can keep it a secret especially with you coming here, you are aren't you? He is going to know something is wrong and its better coming for your mouth." She said.
Why is it that mothers were always right, they seemed to know everything worth knowing? "Yeah you're right and thanks so much, I don't know what I'd done without you," Jake said. Jake was very fortunate to have Sam and his mom in his life; they were the only one that really loved him. "I'll go give the phone to Sam, see you soon so you guys can have a talk" his mom said. There was silence, and then Jake could hear muffled voices in the background, his mom giving Sam the phone.
"Hey Jake" Sam said. It was great to hear his voice; it was like music to his heart. It made his heart soar when he heard his name being said by an angel, it made him feel wanted. "Sam, there is something I have to tell you" He said. "Me too" Sam stated.
Jake wondered what Sam had to say that couldn't wait till he got there. "Um Jake, I can't keep doing this." Sam said Jake was taken aback, he was confused. What was it that Jake couldn't keep doing? He was afraid to ask but it was something he had to do to get the answer. "What what do you mean Sam? What cant you keep doing? I don't understand," Jake asked. Tears rolling down his face, he knew deep inside what Sam meant but he wanted him to say it, to admit to Jake how he felt. A silence lasted a few moments, Jake waiting for Sam to answer him and Sam getting enough courage to say what he wanted to.
"Us, Jake I can't do US anymore. I sometimes think I'm the only one working on the relationship." Sam told him. "I can never touch you, you always distance yourself. I know you don't love me? It felt like a ton of bricks had hit him, what Sam just did hurt more than any beating he had ever received. The next thing that Sam said hurt him just as much. "This is goodbye Jacob? Sam never gave him the chance to say anything, before Jake knew the line had went dead. He lay there, holding the now beeping phone. He felt hollow, unable to feel anything. He finally hung up the phone; he just continued to stare at the ceiling. Sam was ?. Gone, he didn't want Jake anymore.
After everything, hiding the beatings from Sam and his mom, that he received on a daily bases, he even came out to his father and what did he have to show, nothing absolutely nothing but pain. That's what he deserved wasn't it, a life of pain and loneliness. He wasn't a good son, he was faggot, and he wasn't like his father. He wasn't a good boyfriend, he wasn't brave, and he wasn't like Sam at all. What was he then if he wasn't those things? He was Jacob, lonely, pathetic old Jacob.
"I am just a fool that deserves what I got? he said to himself. He didn't notice that Mrs. T, standing in the doorway and he didn't know she heard him. He hadn't realized that he must have zoned out. "You are not a fool and you didn't deserve anything that has happened to you. You must be silly to even think that? she said. Her words made Jake jump, realizing he wasn't alone and that Sam hadn't stopped her from coming. He wished he had, he couldn't go back to her home, Sam's home. He wasn't welcomed there, he was nothing to Sam. He couldn't face Sam as he was, he wouldn't understand. He would be pissed that Jake never told him.
"Hi Mrs. T presume, I need you to sign some papers so we can release Jake? the doctor said as he walked into the room. She turned towards the doctor, grabbed the necessary papers from him and thanked him. The doctor left to check on another patient. Jake quickly gathered his clothes and went into the bathroom and changed. It seemed the floor was busy today. But the doctor seemed to be reappeared just as Mrs. T finished signing the forms. He was free, but nowhere could he go, he wasn't going back home he knew that he wouldn't survive that again. Sam was what had been keeping him alive, as he lay on the surgery table all he thought about was just seeing Sam once more, it kept him going but now, now Sam was out of his reach, he wasn't Jake's anymore.
"Come on Hun, time to go." She told Jacob with a smile, which shined so warmly, a motherly smile. He didn't ask where, he didn't want to know he just let her take him. They left the hospital and jumped into her jeep. Nothing special just something that got her around town. He sat silent in the passenger seat, looking out the window watching the scenes fly by. He hadn't said a single word since they had left the hospital, he was afraid to. Afraid to break down, afraid she would send him back to the hell he called home for more than sixteen years of his life and most of all he didn't want to see Sam again, see their relationship dead. They pulled into a parking lot he recognized, it was Dairy Queen. She parked and turned off the engine. She broke the long silence.
"Come on we'll grab a cone and talk? She said. Talk!? About what!? Did she actually think he wanted to talk right now? There was no point, he was standing on the point of no return, and there was nothing to stop him. He followed her into the shop reluctantly and sat at a table while she waited in line.
He had thought once he had ended it with Jacob that he would feel better inside but he didn't. He actually felt worse, if that was possible. Sam had become his life; sure he had other friends but not as close as he had been with him.
Lately it felt like Jacob had been lying more and hiding something from him. Jacob never wanted to invite Sam over to hang out; things were always done at Sam's house. Sam knew unlike himself, Jake wasn't out to his family. Sam understood that, and told Jake that it was okay they could just play games or watch TV while they were there but Jake always managed to find an excuse out of it.
He had just gotten tired of it, all the lies and excuses; it was like Jacob was ashamed of him even as just a friend or something. Sometimes Jacob even refused to allow Sam to touch him to let a hand slide under his shirt to cop a feel.
He sat there in the front room just watching TV and thinking when he heard his mother's jeep pull into the driveway. He knew she'd be pissed to find out the drive was for nothing. His mom would be really pissed to find out he had dumped Jake. She had come along way. But it was his life and his choices not hers.
The front door opened and in walked his mom but she wasn't alone. Jake was with her. If she thought that bringing him here so they could talk wasn't going to change his decision. "Samuel! Kitchen NOW!" she yelled.
He had underestimated her anger it had seemed. He did what he was told, went and sat at the kitchen table, waiting for them to come in and sit so they could talk. He waited awhile and finally his mom came into the kitchen, still as pissed as she was when she first walked in. Sam could notice she had been crying too. But there was no sign of Jake.
"Do you even use that head of yours to think anymore or is it just an oversized paper weight?" she asked.
She placed her purse on the counter and started pulling out pill bottles and sitting them on the counter. Ignoring her question, his attention caught by the bottles.
"Mom, what's with the medication?"He asked her. "Why do you care?" she asked him back.
He was hurt by that, she was his mother, he loved her. He had no one else; he never knew his father and his mother refused to speak of him. Of course he cared.
"Oh it's because I'm your mother that you give a damn then huh? Well Hun you don't have to worry yourself than because they're not mine. She said with acid in her voice.
Not hers? Than that'd mean they were Jake's. Why would he need medication? There was something wrong and she wasn't telling him.
"What's wrong mom?" he pleaded.
"I don't know Hun, he won't tell me. I barely got that you dumped him out of his mouth. He didn't want to come here and I don't understand. He had just wanted me to sign him out and just let him go but I couldn't." she said as her anger slowly faded away.
They shared an embrace which lasted what seemed a while and was comforting to the both of them. Sam began to cry in his mother's arms.
Sam couldn't believe what he had done. He knew he should have broken it off face to face but it had scared him so he chose the easy way out and had done it over the phone. He couldn't imagine what Jake went through and then laying in a hospital bed, dumped by his boyfriend. Sam made himself sick, he was a horrible person.
"It's ok Hun why don't you go up and check on him while I call his dad and fill him in on what had been happening."
Sam pulled away quickly to look at his mother.
"You can't! You can't call his dad, you remember what Jake said. No phone calls to his dad." he said
"I know but he was in the hospital, his dad has a right to know." she stated
Sam just nodded his head; he left the kitchen heading upstairs. Each step seemed to be million light years away, he was afraid and scared and most of all ashamed. The one person he loved with all his heart lay broken up there and he had added insult to injury.
He finally reached the top of the stairs; it took all his will power just to continue. He moved over to his bedroom door, peered in and looked in. No sign of Jake, he felt a little hurt but understood. The door to the guest room was closed like usual but he walked over and quietly opened it and looked in. He had found Jake, curled up in a ball on the bed. He wanted to walk in and make everything better but the screaming downstairs stopped him. He turned around and went back downstairs to investigate. His mother was slumped in a chair by the counter with her head in her hands, quite visibly upset at whatever Jake's father had said. Sam walked over to her and hugged her.
"What's wrong mom? Does he think we had something to do with it?" he pleaded.
"No" said a voice in the door way.
His mother and him turned and looked, Jake leaned against the doorway, and Sam could see that Jake was in pain, lurking in his eyes.
"Sorry to interrupt, I just need to grab some meds." he continued
He walked over to the counter and grabbed a glass and filled it from the sink. He grabbed a bottle of meds off the counter and popped two of whatever they were in his mouth and chased them down with the glass of water.
As he walked back towards the doorway he stopped and placed his hand on Mrs. Tyler's shoulder.
"Tell him, I don't care anymore. I'm done hiding."
Sam didn't understand, hiding what? From him? Why?
"Are you sure?" she asked him
"Never more" he replied and then he was gone, quicker than Sam expected him to move.
It felt like he had been running for what seemed like forever in the darkness that surrounded him. He felt so alone, he didn't understand why he continued, there was no point but he knew if he stopped now his father would catch up to him. He was scared, his dad would surely make sure that he died this time.
He was distracted; he didn't notice the figure that crept up behind him. Hands on his shoulders made him panic. The hands spun him around, it was his father. He sent his arms flaying. His left hand made contact with something really hard.
He started hearing a voice, someone he recognized. He was confused.
"Wake up." "Come on wake up" "Please"
He finally realized that he was having a nightmare, that was the only explanation. He slowly woke up to Sam standing over him, trying to shake his shoulders to wake him.
"I'm up Sammy I'm up" he said sleepy.
Sam stopped shaking Jake but left his hands on his shoulders.
"Why Jake, why didn't you tell me."He asked.
He had a sad look on his face, he just didn't understand. He wanted Jake to explain it to him. He could have been there for him, protected him. He felt hurt, like Jake couldn't trust him. And then he saw it, the look within Jake's eyes. He understood now, it was clear as day. It was because Jake loved him and wanted to protect him. It could have been him in the hospital or worse. The guilt of his father hurting someone he loved, especially HIS Sam, would have killed him.
Sam wrapped his arms around Jacob and pulled him in for a tight hug.
"I'm so sorry, please forgive me" Sam pleaded, starting to cry.
Jake pulled away a bit and looked Sam straight in the eyes. "No"
Everything changed six years ago, six god damn pain filled years. He'd never forget, the memories seared forever in his mind. He had been a joyous man who had loved his family but he was no longer that man. It all started to descend into the hell that Jake would become to know very well, it was rather warm day in April.
Jake had begged his parents to take him to rent a movie, his mother finally caved in and agreed. His mother and he went while his father stayed to prepare for the movie. He made popcorn and poured some soda for each of them.
He began to grow worry, his wife and son had been gone about a half hour and still no sign of them. The rental place was only about a two or three minute drive. It wasn't until another fifteen minutes passed until he heard a vehicle pull into the driveway.
The sound of three loud knocks, that's all it took to change his world forever. He saw two police officers when he answered the door. He didn't want to know, he was scared. Ignorance was a bliss, and that was just something that he couldn't afford.
The moods of the two officers were as dark as their uniforms. They asked to come in and for Mr. Smith to take a seat.
Apparently it was because of a drunk driver, the driver didn't stop at the red light. Neither his beloved wife or the drunk driver survived, only his son. He couldn't fathom why god would punish him like that. He had been a great person, a loving husband and a supportive father.
He knew it wasn't jakes fault but he found it easier to blame him. he soon mastered it like it was just another skill. Every bad thing that happened soon became Jakes fault. some days all it took was a certain look from Jake's face that just set him off in a blind rage. He felt a release in hurting Jake.
He made sure not to leave any suspicious markings, he wasn't an idiot. Who knew who had a wandering eye anymore. It had taken quite a bit to break the spirit within Jake, but the little shit was no match for his father. Why should the twerp get to live when his mother wasn't even given the chance. She had been pronounced at the scene the police had said.
Rick had learned early in the game, tats what he figured all this was, that the pain doesn't go away you have to drown it away. Before Lily died he barely touched a drink. He might have had one once and a while over at Lily and his friends when they were invited over for dinner but that was it. He sure made up for it after Lily died. He got so bad that the law office he worked for fired him, but again it was Jake's fault. He had received one hell of a beating that day.
Their friends, Lily and his, just stopped coming around. Some tried to help out the best they could but they all got the message sooner or later their help wasn't wanted. Some even suspected that Jake was being abused but they had no proof and Jake was afraid he'd receive a beating if he told. It was like the friendships never existed. It just made Rick drink more and more. It made life even more difficult for Jake. He never knew when the next beating came. **** ***** **** A few weeks had passed since Jacob had unofficially moved into the spare bedroom. Sam had tried to fix things but Jake wasn't making it easy. He made it quite clear to Sam that even if he wanted to consider getting back together with him. They still had major problems to fix, what happened to Jake didn't make them go away. Sam still had a reason to break it off, he hadn't made Jake aware of it yet.
What hurt the deepest, was listening to the never ending argument between Jake and his mom. Jake wanted to find a job and move out as soon as he could. He already started handing out some resumes but hadn't heard back. His mother wanted Jake to stay and put his energy into school then move out, but he wasn't hearing it. Jacob promised to stay away from his father.
He didn't know what to do. He had broken up with Jake because he felt like Jake didn't trust him, but now, now that Sam understood. He understood after coming out to his mom why Jake didn't come out to his father. Sitting there dwelling on if he made the right choice didn't change the decision he made but he regretted it. They were a good couple, each strengthened the others weaknesses, but do good couples survive the trials of love?
Sam never stopped loving Jake and he knew for a fact that neither had Jake either or he wouldn't want out so badly. Trust is a dangerous game, he now understood why Jake didn't tell him but that didn't stop the pain he felt because of it. He just didn't know where to go from here. He wanted to get back together with him but what else could Jake been hiding or could later hide from him, that could come nibbling on their heels.
He got off his bed and wandered over to the door to Jake's room and knocked. No answer, so he knocked again.
"Jake" he called out
Still no answer came from within, he opened the door and peered inside. Empty.
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I hope you enjoyed reading this, id appreciate feedback :) Im hoping to finish chapter two soon but my luck its gonna be a while. let me know what you liked about it and what you didnt. I dont spend as much time on mine as I do reading and enjoying others :)
thanks for reading.