Disclaimer: I do not know *N Sync or their sexual preferences. If it is illegal for you to read fictional stories about male/male relationships where you live, please leave. Same thing goes if you just don't like the idea of two beautiful men in love.
Title: Open Your Heart Author: Robin (nsajscgirl@yahoo.com) Rating: R Pairing: Joey/Lance Notes: Thank you to Mikko for help with the title and thanks to Cele who always helps me out so much. :) Thank you to everyone that's sent feedback! I appreciate it!
Chapter 3
It was 4:05 AM and Joey was still awake. He had to get up in less than two hours. Sleep was impossible. He turned onto his side, pillowing his head on his hands and blinked at the darkness surrounding him, his thoughts on Lance. He wondered if Lance hired an escort often. If Lance paid for company while he was out partying with Justin and Chris. If so, he felt sorry for the younger man. He couldn't help it. He also knew that Lance didn't want his pity. Or at least, he was pretty sure that Lance didn't. Why would Lance tell him about the escort, though, if he didn't want some sympathy from him? Joey was having a hard time figuring out Lance's motives.
Then there was the fact that Lance had come out to him. Michael Abshire. Joey wondered what Michael Abshire was like. Was he a nice guy? What did he look like? Had Lance been in love with him? Joey had a hard time believing Lance had been in love with anyone. He just couldn't picture Lance in a loving relationship. He just seemed too cold most of the time. Joey was quickly coming to realize that Lance wasn't nearly as cold as he seemed to be, though.
"JOEY! WAKE THE FUCK UP!! DON'T MAKE ME GET THE EXTRA KEY, DAMMIT!!!" Justin's voice shouted through the door and Joey sat straight up in bed, his mind fuzzy. A quick look at the clock told him that he had missed breakfast.
"Shit," he mumbled to himself. He ran both hands through his hair and down his face, pausing to rub at his beard roughly.
"JOEY!!" Justin's pounding and yelling resumed. Joey had an insane urge to walk to the door and punch Justin in the face. Instead, he pulled himself out of bed and stumbled to the door.
"I'm awake," he said to the door, unwilling to face Justin at the moment. Besides the fact that Joey had slept naked, he didn't want to be faced with a glowing Justin.
"FINALLY! Damn, Joey, you must've had some night! You got a chick in there with you?" Justin asked cheerfully and Joey knew without a doubt that the younger man was glowing. He was fucking glowing. Joey growled and turned away from the door. The bathroom was calling his name. "Aren't you going to let me in?" Justin asked.
"No," Joey shouted from the bathroom, sighing as he emptied his bladder.
"Whatever, man," he heard muttered through the door, then silence. Joey turned on the shower. He didn't have time for his post- breakfast ritual and he could already tell that whatever the day held in store for him wasn't going to be good.
"Should've fucking stayed in bed," he whispered before stepping into the shower.
"Joey! My man! Justin said you still had a laaadddyyy in your room this morning when he came to wake you up," Chris smirked at him as he entered the hallway. Definitely should've stayed in bed, Joey decided. He only shrugged at Chris, letting his older friend imply what he wanted to imply. "Hot damn!" Chris exclaimed with a wide grin.
Joey's eyes met Lonnie's across the hall. Lonnie raised an eyebrow and Joey had the good graces to look away. The guard knew that Joey had spent the night alone after coming back with Lance.
"Here, eat this," JC said from nearby. He thrust a doughnut in Joey's hand and walked down the hall towards his room.
"Thanks," Joey called after him. JC just waved a hand in response. Joey moved his bags closer to the elevator and finished off the doughnut in a few bites. Lance was nowhere in sight. Chris was following behind Joey closely. "Chris, did Lance go to breakfast?" Chris looked at him quizzically as if Joey was growing another head.
"No. Why?" Joey shrugged and tried to ignore Chris. He heard a door open down the hallway and resisted the urge to see if it was Lance. Chris did it for him. "Hey, Lance! Why didn't you come to breakfast this morning?"
"Wasn't hungry." Chris quirked an eyebrow at Joey and walked away, probably to bug Justin about his latest conquest. Chris needed a life. Lance set his bags down near Joey's. Before Joey could think of anything intelligent to say, their road manager, Shane, stepped into the hallway and announced that they were leaving.
Joey grabbed his bags and stepped into the elevator. He ended up squished into the back of the small container, his face pressed against Lonnie's broad back.
"Sorry, Joey," Lonnie said and Joey could only manage a growl in response. JC was the last into the elevator and as soon as the doors closed he presented Lance with a doughnut.
"Eat this, man," JC whispered.
"Thanks."
"No problem."
"You know, there is more than one elevator," Justin said from somewhere in the crowd. Joey wondered why he couldn't be pressed up against Justin's back instead of Lonnie's.
"We should probably talk." Joey's eyes snapped open at the sound of Lance's voice and he raised himself up on his elbows. He had been lying on the couch in his area of the bus, trying to catch up on the sleep he'd missed last night.
"I'm trying to sleep." Lance ignored him and kept talking.
"We just kind of left things hanging last night and I don't feel comfortable with that." Two could play at the ignoring people game. Joey returned to his previous position and closed his eyes. Lance ignored Joey ignoring him and continued to talk, "I don't want you to feel sorry for me and I don't want your pity. I've put the loneliness on myself. And I want to apologize for ruining last night. I had a good time with you, Joey." Joey opened his eyes to find Lance watching him, waiting for a reply.
"I had a good time, too," he said. Lance nodded and walked back towards the front of the bus. He sighed before following Lance. "You usually just walk away from conversations like that?" he asked almost angrily. Lance looked up at him in surprise.
"I apologized. You accepted my apology. We wrapped up things from last night." Joey was confused.
"We wrapped up things? How did that little conversation wrap things up?" Lance sighed.
"You said you had a good time last night, too," he said as though Joey was the stupidest person on the planet.
"Yeah, I did. That doesn't mean that I don't still have questions about what you said last night. It doesn't mean that I'm not worried or concerned about you. Doesn't mean that I understand why you'd rather pay a stranger to spend time with you than four people who are more than willing to get to know you. The real you." By the time Joey finished his tirade, he knew he'd pissed Lance off. Lance's eyes flashed green fire and Joey actually felt the urge to tuck his tail between his legs and run to the back of the bus.
"Fuck you, Joey! Of course you don't get it! How can you?! You've been so caught up in lusting after Justin that aren't paying attention to the world around you anymore. They're your friends, not mine. Four friends that are more than willing to get to know me!? Give me a fucking break! If y'all had been so willing at the beginning, I wouldn't be in this position!" Lance was shouting at him and all Joey could do was stand there and watch Lance yell at him. "I don't even know why I told you about the fucking escort! It was a moment of weakness that I wish I could take back." The fight suddenly seemed to drain out of Lance and he turned away from Joey. "Just leave me alone. That's all I want." That struck a cord in Joey.
"No. I don't think it is." Lance looked up at him, his wide eyes unreadable, but Joey knew that if he searched deep enough, he'd find the well of pain that Lance was determined to keep hidden. Joey sighed and sat across the table from Lance. "Look, obviously, I don't know what you are going through. I don't claim to, but I want to. I want to be friends with you, Lance. Always have, but you seem to put out this vibe. This 'you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone' vibe. If I'd known that you were paying escorts, I wouldn't have let that vibe stop me from getting to know you...I hope you know that."
"You feel sorry for me," Lance stated and Joey couldn't lie with those eyes staring at him.
"Yeah, I do." Lance nodded as though he'd proven his point.
"If I hadn't told you about the escort after spending the evening with you, you would have stayed in the back of the bus all day." Joey shook his head.
"No. I had a good time last night. A good time. I liked getting to know you, but you threw me for a loop with that whole escort thing." Joey shook his head ruefully. "That was like the last thing I thought you were going to say," he said with a chuckle. He thought he imagined the small grin that crossed Lance's face. "Really wasn't expecting that."
"What did you think I was going to say?" Lance asked with a sly smile. Joey thought that maybe Lance was flirting with him. He could deal with that.
"Don't know. Maybe that you thought my beard was sexy and you wanted to jump my bones." Lance's laugh was music to Joey's ears. "No?" Joey asked as he cocked his head to the side.
"No," Lance answered with a laugh.
"Hmmm, how aboutyou loved my Brooklyn accent and my sexy body and you wanted to jump my bones?"
"Joey," Lance said with a shake of his head and a smile, a faint blush staining his cheeks. Joey smiled in return and the two settled into a comfortable silence. "I like you, Joey," Lance said a moment later. "You're a likeable kind of guy." Joey thought that was the nicest compliment anyone had ever given him. He smiled and stood up to go to the back. He paused for a second at the door as a thought struck him. He turned to find Lance watching him.
"I guess we're about even, huh?" he asked. Lance frowned in confusion.
"What?"
"You felt sorry for me because of Justin. That's why you asked me to go out with you last night, isn't it?" Lance looked away from him and didn't reply. "I feel sorry for you...you feel sorry for me. Guess we're about even, huh?" When Lance still didn't reply, Joey sighed. "I like you too, Lance. I think you're a likeable kind of guy." Joey left the room, pulling the curtain closed behind him.
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