Orli

Disclaimer: I do not know Orlando Bloom or any other celebrities who may or may not appear in this story. It's a work of fiction, that I made up. Although, my birthday is the same day as Orlando's. I don't know how that affects anything, but I just like to tell people. I have no idea of Orlando's sexuality, but this story is not implying anything about it. Again, I say, FICTION.

This story isn't going to be all sexy, all the time. It'll probably get steamy, but you'll have to give it a while. It's like soup. It needs to simmer before it can boil. However, any eroticness you do read, is going to be homosexual man-on-man action, so if you're under 21, 18 or however the hell old you have to be where you are, go and have a sandwich. If the thought of guys doing 'stuff' offends you, you might want to go and have a snack also.

Well, I think that's about it. Oh, no, hang about. If you steal my story I will be very angry. E-Mail me before you post it anywhere else, or ooh, I'll be cross.

Well, Orli's back in action. It's been a little while, but I hope you're all ready to see where Matty and Orlando are headed next! Anyway, you've definitely waited long enough for this, so thank you for being patient and . . . let's get stuck in.

Previously . . .

Orlando lay down next to me and pulled me against him. 'I think I might be falling in love with you, Matty. Now go to sleep.'

Part of me wanted to speak more. Part of me wanted to scream and ask if he meant it and talk for hours. But most of me - the me that was closest to the surface - just wanted to sleep in the arms of the man who loved me.

I snuggled close in, and closed my eyes, and let the sound of his breathing sway me to sleep.

And when I woke up, three hours later, to find Orlando fast asleep, I pulled the sheet over us and wrapped myself around him again. As I drifted off to sleep, I murmured,

'I think I'm falling in love with you too.'

ORLI

Chapter Eight

Flares are really annoying to go to sleep in.

Sure, they look nice. You've got the loveliness of how they creep in at the knee, then flare back out again lower down so that you get all the niceness of your calves and none of the icky shin. However. Sleep in them, and it's a nightmare. You get all tangled.

Resulting in, at nine in the morning, you trying to untangle them and kicking your famous semi-boyfriend really hard in the leg.

'Ow! What the . . . what?'

'Sorry! Sorry! My flares are tangled and I was trying to untangle and I . . . hang on . . . oh!' I kicked around for a second in an attempt to pull my flares round properly and within a minute and a half had my hand caught in the sheet. I gave a huge yank to try and pull it free and squeaked as my leg was lifted up by the sheets wrapped round it, hurling me off the bed. I heard a muffled groan as Orlando was propelled off the other side by my flailing limbs, and then I hit the floor and everything was quiet for a minute.

'Orlando?'

'Yeah?'

'You OK?'

His head appeared over the bed. 'I'm getting used to this. I'm fine.'

A tinny, electronic version of Britney's 'Toxic' filled the room.

'Is that Britney?'

'Yeah. It's my phone,' I sighed. 'I think you're closer, and also I don't know where my hands are.'

'OK, I'll get it, hang on.' His head disappeared from sight, and I heard him looking on my bedside table, before the music was abruptly cut off. 'Hello, Matty's phone, Orlando speaking.' I sighed, marvelling yet again at his supreme unsubtleness. 'Oh, hey, Nina! Yep. Yep. Yep. No! Yep. But no. Yep. OK. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Sure. Yeah! He'll be there. No! Don't worry about it. Yep. OK. Have fun. See you tomorrow. Bye!' He put the phone down and popped over the edge of the bed again. 'You're meeting Nina in an hour for brunch.'

'What?'

'Well, she hasn't seen you in ages - except for rehearsals, and they don't count - and she's feeling neglected, and it's not fair that I'm monopolising all your time so you're going to brunch and then you're going to spend the afternoon with her. Understand?'

'Yes. And there's no need to be so forceful.'

'You know there is. You love it.'

Twenty minutes later when he'd stopped tickling me to death, I managed to get to the bathroom, where I pulled off my clothes and hopped in the shower. Mmm, there's nothing like sleeping in yesterday's clothes to make you feel fresh.

By the time I'd finished I only had about ten minutes left to go and meet Nina, so I called to Orlando as I flew by him towards the wardrobe to ring Nina and tell her I'd be late. After a couple of minutes, he followed me into the main room, where I was trying to decide between a shirt and a tee to go with my jeans.

'It's OK. She's waiting for you in the bar downstairs. Her words: the bastard's always late.'

'That is such an untruth.' Shirt. 'I am not always late.' Tee. 'Ninety percent of the time, yes, I'm late.' Shirt. 'But sometimes, just sometimes, I'm on time.' Tee. 'In fact, sometimes I'm even early!' Shirt.

'Tee.'

'What?'

'You should wear the T-Shirt. It'll go better with those jeans.

I turned to look at him, grinning. 'You really are gay, aren't you?'

He grinned, and closed the gap between us. 'Let's see.' He wrapped his arms round me and ran his fingers through my slightly-wet hair as he pressed his lips against mine. I felt myself melt into him as his tongue explored my mouth, his hand moving down to rub gently across my shoulders . . . my back . . . my ass . . .

I moaned involuntarily as he pulled away, grinning at me. 'Yep. I think I am. Now go! Go eat. Nina's waiting for you.'

'OK,' I said breathlessly, and headed for the door.

'Uh . . . Matty?'

'Yeah?'

Orlando pointed at my hands. I looked down at the T-Shirt hanging from them, then glanced in the mirror and realised that I was still actually half-naked. 'Oh! Clothes!' I pulled the T-Shirt on, smiled at him and turned to go.

And smacked into the door.

I could hear him snickering, so I just lowered my head, pulled the door open and hurried out.

'Well, thank the Lord, I thought I was going to be out here forever!' sighed Nina dramatically as I have her a hug.

'I'm not even that late,' I reprimanded her. I still have like two minutes till we were supposed to meet!'

'Uh, yeah, but I was early.'

'Well, that's nothing to do with me.'

She gave me a look that said: Don't you get shirty with me young man you know I'm always right.

I sent her a feeble look that said: I haven't the energy for telepathy today.

'So, what's going on?' asked Nina as she linked my arm and frog-marched me out the door.

'Us, apparently. Where are we going?'

'For lunch.'

'In the bar.'

'No, I met you in the bar. We're eating lunch somewhere classier.'

'Where?'

'McDonald's.'

'Ooh, the class.'

I chewed thoughtfully on my McChicken Sandwich (why do they call those things chicken? Where's the chicken?). 'I think the universe hates me.'

Nina eyed me over her water and coke. 'Why this time?'

'Well, our very first date, I run into not one but two ex-boyfriends. And not the normal ones, either, the nympho American surfer dude and the crazy stalker cheating freak.'

'Do you have any normal ex-boyfriends?'

'This is neither here nor there. I'm just wondering whether this is even meant to be.'

'Uh, do you like him?'

'Yes.'

'Does he like you?'

'I think so.'

'Bullshit, you know he does, he told you.'

'Nina, language.'

'Sorry. But you both like each other. That's enough. This is meant to be.'

'But why is it so hard? All I want is a proper date with him. Is that really so much to ask?'

'Well, when you're two guys and one of you is way famous, yes.'

'Do they train you to reach these levels of pep? Because really, this is astonishing how much better I feel.'

Nina took a bite of her triple cheeseburger (the woman is a machine). 'Look, I'm not saying this'll be easy.'

'Teeth.'

'Yes, because of the teeth. What?'

'You have seeds in your teeth.'

'Oh God.' The guy who'd served us came over with her McChicken Premiere (again, chicken?) and set it down in front of her. 'Thank you.' She smiled a radiant, seed-studded smile and the guy blinked before turning and walking away. While Nina repeatedly smacked her head off the table I reached over and snagged a couple of fries.

'Honey, he works in McDonald's. You're too good for him anyway.'

'It's not that I'd be interested in him anyway. It's more just my general repulsiveness to men.'

'Oh, you're not repulsive.' I reached out and grabbed a guy who was walking past. 'Hi, sir, excuse me. Do you think my friend's sexy?' I pointed at a mortified Nina.

The guy looked her up and down, then grinned. 'Yeah, she's hot.'

'Thank you.' He looked at me expectantly. 'OK, that's all. Enjoy your McFlurry.' The guy went wandering off and Nina glared at me across the table. 'See? He thought you were hot, you're hot, now can we get back to the more pressing issue of me?'

'Well, bring him to the party tonight and maybe you two'll get some progression.'

'Party?'

'Don't tell me you've forgotten. Matty, we've had this party planned for months! Everyone's coming to my parents' place, we're having a big all-nighter, if you tell me you've forgotten, I swear you'll be bleeding into your Diet Coke.'

'Oh crap, I'm so sorry, what with everything I just - your parents' place? I'm sorry, are we in school again? Am I Peggy Sue Got Married?'

Nina glared at me.

'I'm sorry. I realise your parents' place is huge and therefore can fit more people. I don't know, I - with everything going on maybe it's better if' - I caught a glimpse of a fire burning behind Nina's left eyeball - 'I'll be there around seven. That good for you?'

'A party?' asked Orlando.

I should point out here that this wasn't the first thing he said when I walked in the door. The first thing was more a kind of a growl before he pressed me up against the door and kissed me until I thought I was going to die. Then he'd hopped off and wandered over to the sofa, where he was now sitting looking at me. I didn't trust myself to get too close.

'Yeah, it's this thing that Nina's had planned for months. I told her we'd go, but, you know, if you don't fancy it then we can stay here. It's up to you.'

'No, we should go. It'll be fun. I haven't been to a good party in forever.' He grabbed the remote and flicked the TV on. 'Come sit with me.' I shook my head. 'I'll pout.'

'I don't care.'

He pouted.

I sat.

We watched about two seconds of whatever show was on before he was lying on top of me, kissing me again. Part of my brain was trying to point out that he'd been the one who'd decided that we were taking everything slowly, but the other part of my brain - the part that was winning - was focusing more on the fact that I could feel his hardness growing, pressing against my hip . . . he started to gently move his body up and down on top of me, our bodies sliding together as his kiss grew fiercer, more intense. All of a sudden my hands were gripping his ass and his were climbing up inside my T-Shirt, stroking across my abs, sending little jolts of electricity racing through my system . . . his right hand reached a nipple . . .

I jumped as Britney's Toxic rang through the suddenly heated air. Orlando stopped kissing me, and sighed. I gave him an apologetic little smile, and reached for my phone.

'Hello?' Orlando dived in and started sucking on the sensitive skin on my neck.

'Matty? It's Nina.'

'Oh, h-h-hey honey!' I swatted at Orlando's head, and succeeded only in making him move up towards my earlobe. Why was he getting all dirty now? When I was on the phone? Why didn't he do this before? Why? Why?

'I'm having a crisis. You need to get your ass over here now, and you need to stop at Cafe G and pick up some food I ordered.'

'Nina, I -'

'Matty, please!'

I sighed. 'We'll be there in forty minutes.'

I hung up. Orlando let go of my ear and started kissing my cheek. 'We have to go,' I sighed. 'Nina's having a crisis.'

Orlando sighed and lay his entire body weight on top of me. Apart from the fact that I was kind of suffocating, I wished that I didn't have to make him stop. 'Come on,' I said. 'We'd better get changed.'

He sighed again. 'OK, babe.' He moved up and gave me one last, mind-blowing, pants-dropping, body-bopping kiss, then wandered into my bedroom, his perfect ass wiggling in my direction. I moaned again.

Fifteen minutes later, we were standing inside Cafe G, my local cafe. Well, it used to be my local cafe before my life became a story from the Nifty Archive. And not a very good one at that.

'Hello,' I said as some spotty teenage girl appeared at the counter and gave me a sullen 'How can we help' that would have been better suited as a 'go shove your head up your arse'.

'Hi, uh, can we have the order for Nina Marentino please? She asked me to pick it up for her on the way, she's having a party.' I broke off as I saw Spotty's face light up like Christmas lights in an electrical storm. I doubted it had anything to do with the fun level of Nina's order - the last time I'd seen a shop attendant this happy was when Nina's curtain had fallen open mid-change in Outfit. I turned my head and found Orlando standing behind me, a slight smile on his face.

'Hey,' he said, prompting what I'm pretty sure was an orgasm from behind the counter. 'I thought you could use a hand, if we're catering a party.'

'Oh, well, that's great but I think I've got this,' I said, trying to inject a level of 'Go away I can't order anything while you're making the shopgirl blow' into my voice and clearly failing, because he took a few steps forward and said 'Can we have Nina Marentino's order please?'

'Of course, Mr Bloom, sir, I'll just get them to bring the - um - with - and . . .' She turned round and walked smack into the coffee machine. 'Hang on just a second. Please. Sir.'

I turned to Orlando with a resigned expression on my face as she disappeared into the back room with another crash. 'Do you see what you've done? Now we're going to have ladyjuice in our food.'

'Oh, please.'

'For God's sake, she was practically fingering herself in front of you! You can't take a celebrity anywhere.'

He looked at me funny. 'Are you jealous?'

I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again and gave him my best dignified glare. 'Ha! You should be so lucky. I don't know exactly what you think this is between us buddy but we are far from me being jealous because some spotty teenager thinks you're fit. I don't even see what she sees in you anyway. Humph.' I turned away, trying to hide the blush that was creeping across my face.

The girl returned, I snatched the food - four baskets, for God's sake - and ran to the limo, where I plopped down in the backseat.

'Matty?' called Joe from the front seat, making me jump.

'Yeah?'

'Just shag him, would you? He's getting annoying.'

I wrapped my scarf around my head, being sure to cover up my burning ears, and flapped at Orlando to just get Joe to drive as soon as he got in the car. Through a small gap in the scarf, I could see Joe grinning, so I pulled the scarf even tighter round my face.

By the time we got to Nina's parents', I'd recovered enough to remove the scarf from my head, and we carried the food up in the elevator to the penthouse.

Now, Nina's not as rich as my family, not by a long shot, but hoo boy do they have some money on them. The woman basically acts as a hobby. She doesn't need the money at all . . . Her parents have a penthouse apartment like something out of a 'How to Be Madonna' magazine.

And yet she still enjoys the fine cuisine of a Mickey D's.

'Matty! I'm so glad you're here! And Orlando . . . always nice to see a pretty face.'

I ahemed pointedly.

'Oh, you're nice too honey.'

'OK, here's your food, we're leaving.'

'No no no! Stay! I need your help with a desperate situation. Just come in, take your coats off, and I will show you. It's desperate.'

We both put our coats and scarves onto the hatstand and followed her through into the kitchen. As far as I could see, there was nothing wrong with the kitchen. OK, so it was a little bit dirty, but there was nothing life-threatening. Foolishly, I expected that she was talking about another room in the house.

'Look at it!' she wailed.

'I'm sorry, I'm lost,' said Orlando.

'It's filthy! And I haven't even started on my room and there's no way I can cope with both! Boys, you take the kitchen and I'll clean my room. I love you. Goodbye.'

With that, she disappeared to her room, which, considering the size of the apartment, could conceivably be five miles away.

'I'm cross,' I said.

'Me too,' agreed Orlando.

'Should we just leave?' I asked.

He sighed. 'No, that would make us bad people.'

'So? We can be bad.'

Bad my arse. Within five minutes we were wearing aprons and cleaning the woman's dishes.

'So basically she wanted us here to be her cleaners?' asked Orlando.

I nodded. 'She does this sometimes. She loves having parties, but she can never be bothered to get ready, so I end up doing it for her. I still love her, though. Just less for this half-hour.' I turned to him. 'You do know how to wash dishes properly, right?'

'Uh . . . yes. Why?'

'Well, you know, you being a big hotshot actor, I thought maybe you had your own personal dishwasher or something.'

'Oh my God, you are the rudest person I know. How dare you! I wash dishes all the time!'

'Do you actually wash them, or do you just act washing them?'

Orlando's response was to hurl the contents of a bowl of water in my face, sparking a water war that rivalled the War of the Roses in ferocity and intensity, and resulting in, somehow, me ending up on my back on the table getting my face kissed off by a randy celebrity.

Until Nina walked in.

'Oh dear Lord! Gay love - gay love - I'm blind. I'm officially blinded. Oh.'

'Oh, you've seen me kiss guys before.'

'Yes, but this is Orlando Bloom, Matty,' she squeaked through covered eyes. 'He's a hot sexy studpuppy and he's dripping and gay in my kitchen. Oh, I feel faint.'

Orlando coughed uncomfortably.

'Can you at least wait until he's left the room, Horny McHornface?'

'Why? It's my apartment. Well, at least you scrubbed the dishes before scrubbing . . . each other.'

'Hey!'

'Whatever, not my business . . . but the first few guests are getting here soon so you might want to be less aproned and more attractive.'

She left, and Orlando gave me a sheepish glance. 'Sorry, I couldn't resist.'

'It's OK,' I grinned. 'I like you kissing me.'

He leaned in, and pressed his lips against mine again.

'Oh for God's sake,' cried Nina through the door. 'Look, will you two stop it? I'm having a party, not an orgy.'

The party was actually not that bad, considering I normally find the people Nina invites to parties really, really boring and quite mental. But she'd invited a few actual nice people for me. And, she confided in me, had actively not invited Barry.

Yay!

And, I didn't know it, but the party was about to get a whole. Lot. Better.

Orlando broke away from talking to a group of women as I walked towards the kitchen, and hopped in front of me, blocking my path.

'Hey,' he said, grinning widely.

'Hey,' I grinned back. We'd decided not to be too touchyfeely around people we didn't know, and we were making up for it with the most intense glances. I felt like melting every time he looked at me.

'I want to show you something Nina's got in her room. The woman is mental. Come on.'

'Wha - OK,' I said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me away towards Nina's room - again, five miles away. I saw Nina grinning at me as I was yanked past her and calling, 'Enjoy it!'

What had she done now?

I went into her room first, and looked around as I heard Orlando close the door. I couldn't see anything . . . maybe it was under the bed . . .

A pair of strong hands gripped me from behind and spun me round. Vaguely, I registered that the door had been locked. Orlando stared into my face, leant forward and gave me a passionate kiss, his tongue forcing its way urgently between my parted lips, and wrestling with my own happily-participating tongue.

I pulled back - why? Why? - and looked at him. 'What's going?'

I felt his hands reach down to my ass. Instead of cupping it through the material, they slid straight down behind the waistband.

Orlando's hands were cupping my actual asscheeks. As a jolt of electricity surged through me, I leant forward into him and felt his lips brushing my ear.'

'I'm ready.'

'You mean . . .?'

'Yeah. I want to make love to you.'

I'm so sorry that it's been so long! Issues have piled upon issues, and I've basically had an issue pile that needed a bit of hacking down to size. Similar to some firewood. But I chopped and chopped and now I'm back in business. I'm not saying there'll be a chapter a day but a week should be the longest you have to wait. I hope.

So, what do you think? Look at you all getting all excited! And no, this isn't another diversionary tactic . . . they're really headed for the big one . . .

madi_mcfarland@hotmail.com

Keep that feedback coming! I think I'm getting addicted! Until I can get some sort of E-Mail Methodone . . . I'm relying on you people. :) Thank you for everything I've got so far . . . I love you for it!

Maddy

x x x

P.S. To all those people who've E-Mailed me since Chapter 7, I will try and get in touch with you but it may take a couple of days. Feel free to E-Mail again though! I have read all of them, and thank you so much for your messages of support. I'm back now, and I will reply!!! Eventually!