*Disclaimer: This story is in no way signifying anything about the sexuality of certain celebrities mentioned in this story. I do not know N Sync, or the BackStreet Boys. It is just a work of fiction. And by the way, if you're under 18 years of age, offended by homosexuality, and blah, blah, blah, you should leave.
Out Here On My Own, Chapter 1 The audition:
"Meghan!" I yelled. "Are you ready to leave yet?"
"Yeah! I'm ready! I just needed to get my shoes!" Meghan yelled as she ran out of our small apartment. Meghan and I hadn't graduated from high school yet, but we moved into an apartment with her older sister. Meghan got into a huge fight with her parents because of grades, and I got into a huge fight with my parents because I told them I was gay. Meghan was a junior in high school, and I was a senior.
"Come on Meghan! Get into the car!" I yelled as I stood by my car.
"Hold on Mary!" Meghan laughed. Meghan climbed into the car, and we were off.
"You know, I'm just gonna start introducing myself as Mary, instead of Jakob, or Jake.
I'm just gonna be Mary now, since you and your sister are insistent on calling me that!" I laughed.
"Aw! Honey! You're gay, what do you expect?" Meghan laughed.
"Yeah, that's true." I giggled. "I'm so excited about this audition!"
"So am I! Dancing! It's everything I've ever wanted to do!" Meghan said excitedly.
"Well, that and singing, and acting." Meghan added.
"Ha! It's a little odd though that the add didn't say very much about this audition!"
"I know! That is weird. Oh well, maybe they only expect people who are really driven to show up to an audition like this or something." Meghan giggled.
"I hope so." I smiled nervously.
Within one hour we were in Los Angeles, in a dance studio, and stretching. We arrived early, so we would have time to stretch, and maybe meet some of the dancers.
"Meghan, I'm nervous!" I said loudly.
"Good lord Mary! Why are you nervous? You know you're good!" Meghan laughed.
"I'm good, but look at these people! These other dancers are great!" I said as I practiced some double pirouettes.
"Eh, don't worry about it. Just have fun." Meghan laughed. She slid down into a splits position, and stretched forward. We continued our stretching. I practiced Grande Jete's, kicks, various leaps, and finished with an axle. I went down into the splits, as Meghan lifted her left leg straight up.
"Do you feel any better?" Meghan asked.
"Yeah, I feel a lot better."
"So how is everything going with Tre?"
"Oh, it's going good." I said happily.
"You look tired, are you feeling okay?"
"Um, yeah everything's." I was interrupted when a medium sized, fair skinned, brown haired girl approached us with a smile.
"Hi, I'm Sheena. Just so you know, this petty little ballet crap won't hold up well here. This is hip-hop, none of that wimpy shit." She said with a snotty smile.
"Um. Okay?" I said as I looked to Meghan.
"Leave it to the pros, that's me, and my clique over there." Sheena said as she pointed in the direction of her friends, and walked away.
"What the hell was that all about?" I asked Meghan.
"Do you even care?"
"Not really." I laughed.
"Good." Meghan laughed.
"Alright, people! Line up in three or four rows, and get ready to move!" An African- American woman yelled as she entered the room.
"Come on Meghan, let's line up." I said. Meghan and I got into the second row. As we stood there, waiting for the instructor to start talking again, Sheena, and her 'clique' sort of surrounded us. I looked at Meghan, and we started laughing.
"Okay ya'll, I'm Fatima, and you'll find out what you're auditioning for if you make it."
Fatima smiled.
Fatima began to teach the dance combo, and I was having a little trouble with one step.
"What's wrong? Can't do it ballet boy?" Sheena laughed.
"Are you having trouble boy?" Fatima asked when she heard Sheena's smart-ass remark.
"Nah, I got it now." I smiled.
"Okay, after this move." Fatima said as she did the dance move. "Is a double pirouette."
"What's that?" Sheena asked.
"Ballet boy, show her what a pirouette is." Fatima said as she looked back at me. I looked at Sheena, and smiled. I prepped, and did my double pirouette.
"Oh, I can do that." Sheena smiled.
"Do it." Fatima said. We all turned, and gazed at Sheena.
"Okay." Sheena said nervously. She prepped, made it around once, and fell to the ground.
"Okay! Well, during the break, work on that!" Fatima smiled as she turned around. I looked back at Sheena with a very pleased smiled on my face.
"What's wrong girlie? Can't do it?" Meghan laughed.
The audition went over smoothly, and we all had our chances to strut our stuff for Fatima. She told us all to line up, and we did so.
"Stay, go, go, go, go, go, stay, go, stay, stay, stay, stay, go, go, go, stay, stay, go, go, go, go, stay, stay, stay, and stay." Fatima said. I looked at Meghan, and we both screamed in excitement. Fatima responded with a warm laugh.
"Okay, now that the others are gone, I thought I should tell you what you all are in for.
You have just auditioned for the biggest tour of the century. The BackStreet Boys, and N Sync are coming together to tour the U.S., and possibly the world. And ya'll are gonna be a part of it. I'm sure everyone remember what I said when you called about the audition, and having to be traveling."
She explained everything to us, and told us to return the next day for the first rehearsal. It was a little weird for us because, there was Meghan, Myself, and another girl, and the rest of the people that made it were Sheena's friends. There were 6 girls, and 6 guys. I knew this was going to be a weird experience. Sheena, and he friends were so snotty, and Meghan, myself, and the other girl, Amy tried very hard to be friendly.
Sheena, and her friends were very good dancers, as were we. We got home, called our parents, and they agreed to go to the district office, and get our RISE work for the rest of the second semester, seeing as we weren't sure when we were going back to school.
The first rehearsal:
Meghan got out of my car, and went to the building; I needed a minute to call my mother to remind her to go to the district office. As soon as I was done with my conversation on the phone, I got out of the car, and headed for the building. I wasn't paying attention when I reached for the door. I reached for the door; at the same time it swung open, and knocked me off of my feet.
"Fuck!" I yelled as I hit the floor. I fell flat on my butt, and sat for a second to collect my thoughts.
"I'm so sorry!" A man said as he rushed over to me.
"It's fine, it's fine." I responded with a bitter tongue.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yeah. I'm fine." I said as I looked up, and saw a hand extended to me.
"Need help?"
"Yeah, thank you." I grabbed his hand, and stood.
"I'm so sorry, I'm such a klutz." He said.
"It's fine, don't worry about it." I bent down, and picked up my dance bag.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself." He said. He was wearing a blue baseball cap, and sunglasses. "I'm Joshua Chasez, but you can call me J.C." He smiled.
"Oh my gosh, hi. I'm Jakob, or Jake, whatever you want to call me." I said nervously as I extended my hand, which he gripped firmly, and held.
"Hey, Mary! You'll never guess who I just. Well, who you just met now." Meghan said as she rushed out of the building, and came to a halt.
"Mary?" J.C. asked as our eyes locked. It was like being in a trance, his ocean blue eyes were perfect. "Is this the gay friend you were talking about?" He asked Meghan as he continued to look into my eyes.
"Yep, that's Mary." She laughed.
"It's uh. It's a nick name." I stuttered out.
"It's cute. Do you mind if I call you that?" He laughed as he let go of my hand. I dropped my arm to my side, picked it back up, and started playing with my hands nervously.
"Sure." I smiled.
"So, I can't call you that?"
"No. Wait. I mean yes you can." I stuttered.
"Well, cool then. I guess I'll be seeing you in rehearsals!" J.C. smiled.
"Yeah, see you later." I said. I was in a dazed, dreamy sort of state. As soon as he walked off to wherever it was he was headed to, Meghan rushed up to me, and screamed.
"Oh my god! What happened out here?"
"He exited, just as I was grabbing the door to walk inside, he grabbed the door also, and pushed it really hard, and knocked me on my fat ass!" I laughed.
"Fat? How much do you weigh right now?"
"132." I smiled.
"Oh shut up! Fat? Please! You're so skinny you make Calista Flockhart look like Delta Burke. Anyways! What happened after that?"
"Well, he helped me up, and introduced himself. It was interesting." I said giving a crooked smile.
"Interesting? I'd say you have little crush going on there." Meghan laughed loudly.
"Oh hush! I've got a man, I'm not interested." I smiled.
"Yeah right, I saw the way you were looking at him." Meghan laughed. "Ma, he's making eyes at me." Meghan sung with a huge grin spread across her face.
"Oh shut up, and let's get in there and dance!"
"This should be interesting." Meghan smiled. I giggled in response. It was noon when we started our rehearsal, and the dancing was challenging, and I loved it. We got a few water breaks, and a few chances to relax. Fatima informed us that the tour started in February, so we had the rest of January, and a few days of February to rehearse. It was nearing 6:00 P.M., and everybody was getting hungry. Meghan had made plans for us to go to dinner with Amy, so when Fatima told us we could break for dinner, I wondered over to where Meghan, and Amy were.
"Hey girls!" I smiled. "Where are we going for dinner?"
"You certainly are happy for a boy who almost broke his ass earlier." Meghan laughed.
"Oh, shut up!"
"Doesn't matter to me." Amy smiled. "Where do you want to go ballet boy?" She laughed.
"Hey! Mary!" I heard a loud male's voice ringing through my ear.
"What was that?" I asked Meghan.
"I don't know, let's go, we'll figure out where we're going when we get into the car.
Who's car are we taking by the way?" I asked.
"Well, we're gonna take Amy's since she."
"Hey, Jake! I kept shouting Mary, but you didn't answer." J.C. laughed as he interrupted Meghan.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I heard something, but I wasn't quite sure." I smiled.
"So, since I knocked you on your butt this afternoon, how about you come to dinner with me?" J.C. offered. I didn't look straight at him; I was scared of going into that daze again.
"I--I don't know." I said. I started to play with my hands again.
"Hold on a second J.C. We'll be right back." Meghan said as she grabbed me, and pulled me off to the side.
"You'd better just go with him!" Meghan hissed into my ear.
"I'm gonna get all nervous!" I said back.
"Mary, if you don't go, I'm kicking your ass!" Meghan said.
"Fine!" I gave in. Meghan grabbed me, and dragged me back over to J.C.
"Okay, he's ready to go with you." Meghan smiled. She pushed me towards him, without me expecting it, and I stumbled, and almost fell.
"Whoa! I got ya!" J.C. said as he caught me.
"Thanks." I said as I struggled to stand. "Thanks a lot Meghan!" I said angrily in her direction.
"I love you too." She smiled.
"Who else is going J.C.?" I asked.
"Just me, and you." He smiled.
"Oh." I said nervously. "I don't think I should go, I don't want to leave Meghan, and Amy."
"Oh yes you do, we'll be fine. We'll meet you right back here at 7:30." Amy smiled.
She grabbed Meghan, and left.
"Well, I guess it's just you and me now." J.C. laughed lightly.
"Uh, yeah. I guess so." I said as I looked to the floor.
"Hey, J.C., are you coming with us to dinner?" Justin Timberlake asked as he ran over to J.C.
"Nah, I'm taking my new friend to dinner." J.C. smiled.
"Oh." Justin said as he eyed me. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and saw him looking at me. "Hi, I'm Justin, and you are?"
"I'm Jake, or Jakob, whatever you want to call me." I smiled.
"Well, I'm pleased to meet you." Justin said as he extended his hand.
"Likewise." I smiled back.
"Well, let's go Mary!" J.C. laughed.
"Mary? Wait! You're that's Meghan girls gay dancer friend, aren't you?" Justin laughed.
"Oh my lord! She's telling everybody in the free world!" I laughed.
"It's not so bad, it's funny." Justin smiled. "I'll see ya'll later."
"Bye Just." J.C. said. "You ready to go?" J.C. asked me as he threw his cap, and sunglasses on again.
"Yeah, sure." I smiled.
"Do you drive, or do you want to take a limo?" J.C. asked.
"My car is outside, so I can drive." I offered.
"Sounds good to me." J.C. said.
We exited the building, and it was freezing outside. We hadn't had a winter this cold in Southern California in the longest time. I'm 5'10", 132 pounds, brown hair, and eyes, pretty skinny, so I always got really cold, really fast.
"Oh my lord! It's freezing out here!" I said as we stepped out the door.
"It is cold, which car is yours?"
"The Honda civic right there." I said as I pointed to my car.
"You have a nice car!"
"I know. My grandmother loves me." I laughed.
"Wow, I guess." J.C. giggled. I unlocked my door, and his. We climbed into the car, and I started it up.
"Do you want the heater on?" I asked J.C.
"Yeah, it's pretty darn cold."
"Very." I said as I turned on the heater.
Within a few minutes, we were at Applebee's, and waiting to get to the hostess at the front of the line. We finally made it to the front of the line, and the lady said it would be a 45-minute wait.
"We're not gonna have very much time, J.C." I said as I looked up at him.
"You're right." J.C. said. "Excuse me, yeah. I'm sorry to bother, but we need to get in pretty fast, we have to be somewhere at 7:30." J.C. said to the hostess.
"Well sir, I'm sorry, you're going to have to wait." The hostess said snottily.
"I'm guessing you don't know who I am." J.C. grinned.
"No, and quite frankly, I don't care!" She said back.
"Well, before we leave, I should tell you that I'm J.C. Chasez, from N Sync." J.C. boasted.
"Yeah right, you're not from N Sync." She laughed. J.C. looked at me, and grinned wildly.
"Oh, I'm not?" J.C. said as he removed his hat, and sunglasses.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry sir! I'll have you at a table in five minutes." The woman rushed.
"Yes, thank you." J.C. smiled. He put his disguise back on, and smiled at me.
"You're terrible." I laughed.
"Yeah, but we'll get time to enjoy our meal." J.C. smiled.
"Oh! Shoot! I'll be right back, I left my wallet in the car."
"Why do you need your wallet?"
"Because I need to pay for dinner." I said as I turned to walk out. J.C. grabbed my arm gently, and pulled me back around.
"I'm buying for you." J.C. smiled softly.
"Huh?" I was more confused than ever.
"I knocked you on your butt, so I'm buying you dinner." J.C. laughed.
"Oh, no you don't have to!"
"You're right. I don't." J.C. smiled.
"That's why I have to go get my wallet." I said quickly, as I turned to walk out again.
Once again, J.C. grabbed my arm, and pulled me back around.
"But I want to." He said as he peered into my eyes. His blue eyes seemed to penetrate every shell I built around me, and shoot right into my soul.
"I--I--I guess." I said as I continued a nervous stare into his eyes.
"That's more like it." He said as he broke his stare. I shook my head around, trying to get myself out of my daze. "So how long have you been dancing?"
"I've been dancing since I was 5, so 12 years."
"What kind of dance do you do?"
"I do Mexican folk dancing, Ballet, Jazz, Modern, and Hip-Hop."
"Wow, you're talented, do you do anything else?"
"Yeah, I sing too."
"Really? How long have you been singing?"
"Since I was in seventh grade. I was in a beginning choir for four years, a chamber choir for two, and I was selected to be in the Honor Choir." I smiled.
"What's the Honor Choir?"
"Over 500 people from Southern California audition, and they only pick 120 people for the mixed, and 80 for the women's. So, they only choose 60 guys out of about 250 that audition." I bragged.
"Wow, that's so cool!"
"Mr. Chasez, your table is ready." The hostess interrupted.
"Thank you very much." J.C. smiled. The woman seated us, and we looked at our menus. I had eventually calmed down, which was a shocker to me.
"Hi, I'll be your waitress, can I get you anything to drink?" The small woman asked.
"Yeah, I'll have a coke." J.C. said.
"Okay, and you sir?"
"Half sprite, and half lemonade. It's called a Mulan, so remember it when I come back." I giggled.
"A Mulan? Why's that?" She asked.
"I don't know? My friend Ashley named it." I smiled.
"Well, I'll have those out for you in a minute."
"Thank you!" J.C. and I said in unison.
"So what do you want to talk about?" J.C. said as he looked at his menu.
"I don't know."
"Okay. I don't want to offend you or anything, but how long have you been out?" J.C. questioned carefully.
"A few months already, I live with Meghan, and her big sister because my parents and I got into a huge fight, and I got upset, and cried to Meghan, and a few nights before she got into a fight with her mom, and left to live with her sister. When I told Meghan, she explained to me about her, and told me that she'd talk to her sister about me living with them. And a few days later, I'm sharing a room with Meghan, and living it up with the two people who saved me from living in a hell hole." I explained. It shocked me that J.C. listened so well, he paid attention to every word I said. Most men don't even listen to the first sentence uttered.
"Wow, so are you seeing anybody right now?" J.C. asked curiously.
"Yeah, his name is Tre." I said kind of sadly, I'd be missing my boyfriend when I left for the tour.
"What's wrong?" J.C. questioned further.
"It's nothing important." I faked a smile.
"I'm sure it is." J.C. said caringly as he put his hand on the table, and offered I to me. I reached my right hand out, and held his right also.
"J.C., everything's fine."
"Well, if you want to talk, you can come over to my room tonight at the hotel." J.C. smiled.
"Hotel?" I asked as I pulled my hand back.
"Yeah, management is paying for all the dancers to stay in the hotel since it is close to our rehearsal hall." J.C. said. "Didn't you know about that?" J.C. asked.
"No, I didn't."
"Oh! That's what Fatima was gonna talk about once we got back from dinner! She's gonna be letting us out at 6:00 every night, and she's supposed to tell everybody about hotel rooms, she's gonna hand out keys and everything. You get your own room, and all!" J.C. said excitedly.
"Here are your drinks guys, and I'll have to remember that Mulan thingy." The waitress smiled as she set down our drinks.
"Thank you." J.C. and I said in unison again.
"So anyways, if you want to talk to me about anything, just come on over. I'm in 306." J.C. smiled.
"Okay." I smiled back. "So are you dating anybody?"
"I'm not comfortable talking about it." J.C. joked. "I'm gonna keep it a secret forever."
He laughed. I gasped, with a smile.
"That's not fair!"
"Life's not fair!" J.C. laughed back.
"Aw, come on J.C.! That's not fair!" I smiled softly.
"Just so you know, you can trust me with anything. I'm very good with secrets, or anything that you want to talk to me about. It will be just between us." J.C. smiled sweetly making things more comfortable for me.
"I'm sure I can, I just don't." I stuttered. J.C. scooted his chair nearer to me.
"Do you want to talk about whatever it is that's bugging you?" J.C. smiled. "You seem even more tense now then you did before."
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"Please!"
"Well. J.C., you go first, and then maybe I'll say something." I said nervously as I looked over to J.C.
"I guess." J.C. faked annoyance. He sighed deeply. "I am single. Not dating, haven't dated in a while. A little lonely, sorta lonely, kinda lonely. Very lonely." J.C. laughed.
"Aw, I'm sorry." I laughed.
"Are you gonna tell me about your love life right now?" J.C. pondered.
"Okay, I'm back now. Can I take your orders?" The waitress asked. I was so incredibly thankful that the waitress came when she did, so I had a few moments to think. After we placed our orders, I tried to change the subject.
"So are you excited about the tour?" I asked, hoping that he wouldn't want to go back to the previous subject.
"Uh-uh, you're not getting out of this one." J.C. smiled. He grabbed his chair, and pulled it all the way next to me. I sighed nervously.
"I'm not?"
"Nope." J.C. smiled. He threw his left arm over my shoulder, and pulled me nearer to him. "I know you want to talk about it." J.C. said persuasively.
"Well. Yeah, but I don't want to weird you out with me being gay or anything."
"I won't be weird-ed out, I promise." J.C. smiled. I looked down at my hands in my lap, and smiled softly. "So what's going on in your relationship?"
"I'm nervous about just telling it, ask questions, and I'll answer them." I said quietly.
"Sure. What's your boyfriends name?"
"Tre."
"Okay, is he a good boyfriend?"
"Yeah, I'm just gonna miss him since we're going on the tour. I really like him a lot, but I don't know how he's gonna do with me away for so long, I'm scared he might cheat on me or something, although I know he won't. He says he loves me."
"So are you gonna leave him because of the tour?"
"I don't know." I said. J.C. sighed with a bit of aggravation. "I'm just scared of being alone."
"You won't be alone, you've got Meghan, that girl Amy, and those other dancers."
"Those other dancers hate me." I said as I looked into J.C.'s eyes.
"I don't see why." J.C. extended his left hand, and rubbed my right cheek. I smiled, and looked into J.C.'s eyes. I broke my stare quickly to look down at my hands.
"They don't like me because I made it, also, Sheena, the snotty brown haired girl, came up to Meghan and I yesterday, and told us that our Ballet crap wouldn't hold up there, and blah, blah, blah." I said as I rolled my eyes.
"Well okay, so then you got Meghan, and Amy." J.C. smiled. There was a short pause.
"And you've got me too, Jake."
"Thank you so much, J.C."
"So what are you doing tonight?"
"I'm going home with Meghan, and I'm going to bed since we have another long day tomorrow."
"How about you stay at the hotel tonight?"
"Just out of curiosity, who all knew about the hotel rooms?"
"Everybody should have known about them."
"Wow, I guess everyone was right, I am an idiot." I laughed. J.C.'s facial expressions dropped.
"You're not an idiot, don't ever say that." J.C. said sternly.
"Gosh, I'm sorry." I apologized in a state of shock.
"No, I'm sorry. Look Jake, I like you a lot. I just met you, but you seem to be really cool. I just don't want you down talking yourself."
"I'm sorry." I looked down at my hands again.
"Jake, do you want. Never mind." J.C. said shyly.
"Do I what?" I asked. J.C. just shook his head in response.
"Okay gentlemen, here is your food." Our waitress smiled. We said our thank yous, and ate in silence for a few minutes.
"So are you enjoying all the dances?"
"Now you're doing what I was doing, you're not getting out of this."
"I'd rather not embarrass myself."
"That's not fair! Please?" I pleaded.
"No, it's embarrassing."
"What could be so embarrassing about it?"
"Well, the whole idea is preposterous."
"Please, just ask me whatever it was you're gonna ask me."
"You're gonna say no!" J.C. smiled.
"You don't know that!" I laughed back.
"Well, you're right."
"You'll never know unless you ask." I chimed.
"I wanted to ask you if you'd want."
"If I'd want what?"
"If you'd want to come to my room tonight and."
"And what?" I said faking a serious tone. J.C. believed I was angered with him, because he hung his head down in shame. I wanted so badly to release all the excitement that built up so quickly.
"And stay the night with me."
"Sure." I answered happily. I succeeded in controlling myself from jumping through the roof.
"Really?" J.C. said suddenly as he looked up in shock.
"Yeah, sure. It'll be fun." I smiled.
Dinner came to an end, and I drove J.C. back to the rehearsal hall with me. We were a few minutes late, and J.C. had to explain to Fatima why we were late. It went over easily, so I wasn't in any trouble. We didn't dance again that night, which was a relief to us. Management discussed hotels, and distributed keys to rooms. Meghan was right next to me, so we knew we'd have fun. I had explained to her what was going on with J.C. and I tonight, so it was a good idea that we brought extra dance clothes for the next day. After a half hour long meeting, we got to our hotel. It was an incredibly nice hotel, we each had our own rooms, and the rooms were very spacious. I lucked out, and ended up in room 305, right next door to J.C.'s room. After I settled into my room, I decided to call J.C.
"Hello?" J.C. finally answered after the third ring.
"Hi, it's me, Jake." I said nervously into the phone.
"Oh, hey! Are you coming over?" J.C. asked.
"Yeah sure, but I came to a startling revelation a minute ago."
"What's that?"
"I don't have any clothes to sleep in, or underwear." I laughed into the phone.
"Oi! That does pose a problem, come over anyways." J.C. giggled into the phone.
"I'll be over there right now." I smiled.
"See you then."
"Bye." I hung up the phone, and grabbed my key, my bag, and my cell phone. I left my room, and knocked on J.C.'s door. J.C. opened the door as soon as I knocked the second time. "Gosh, someone is excited." I laughed lightly.
"Well, I've been waiting."
"Can I come in?" I giggled.
"Oh! Yeah, come inside." J.C. said as he stepped back from the door. "Make yourself comfortable."
"Thank you." I stepped into the room, and sat on J.C.'s bed. J.C. peered out into the hallway, stepped back into the room, and closed the door. He walked over, and sat on the bed.
"So why did you want me to." I was cut off by the ringing of my cell phone. "I'm sorry, hold on a second." I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and clicked the 'Yes' button.
"Hello?"
"Hey, peaches. It's me, April." April said somberly.
"What's wrong sweetie?" I asked.
"I have some bad news."
"What? What's wrong?"
"It's about Tre." April "What about Tre?" I asked slowly.
"I really feel bad."
"April, tell me what's wrong!" I yelled. J.C. looked very concerned, and I wanted to know what was going on with my current boyfriend.
"Well, I was at a party on Saturday, and I saw Tre there."
"What was he doing?" I asked nervously.
"He was there with a girl."
"Oh, was it Rachel?" I asked calmly. Rachel was one of his really good friends; they were like brother and sister.
"No. It was Ashley."
"Ashley?"
"Yeah, from choir."
"Why was he there with her?"
"Well, she was his date."
"Date?" My stomach started to tie in knots.
"Yeah. So I confronted him about it, and he said she was there just as a friend." April said, still avoiding telling me upfront what happened.
"April, just tell me what happened!" I demanded.
"Okay. I caught him making out with her." April said. My eyes began to water. I sniffled lightly, and rubbed my eyes with my free hand. J.C. scooted over to me, and put his arm around me.
"Was he--Was he drunk?" I asked hopefully. "He must have been drunk, he said he loved me."
"There was no alcohol at this party. I confronted him again, and he said to tell you something."
"Oh no, please no April. Don't tell me." I pleaded as my tears began to stream like rivers from my eyes. I knew what was coming. J.C. pulled me close, and stroked my hair for comfort.
"Peaches, I have to. He says to tell you that he doesn't want to be tied down to you while you're off traveling. And then he said maybe if you're lucky, he'll consider getting back with you when you come back to town." April said softly, trying not to make me cry even harder. It didn't help. "I'm sorry Jake. I didn't want to tell you, but it's better you found out now, and from me. Tre was really harsh, and as for Ashley, I took care of her for you." April said trying to be cheerful.
"What did you do to her?" I sniffled.
"I kicked her ass." April gleamed.
"Well thanks April. I--I need some time to think for a minute." I tried to act like it didn't bother me.
"Get some sleep peaches, and call me when you feel better. I love you!" April tried to make me feel better.
"Goodnight April. I love you too, thank you for telling me."
"You're welcome."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight." I said before I hung up the phone, and dropped it to the floor. I broke into tears the moment the phone hit the floor.
"Are you gonna be okay Jake?" J.C. asked. He threw his arms around me, and I hugged him back tightly. I sobbed loudly, as my tears soaked J.C.'s shoulder.
"No!" I cried loudly.
"Everything is gonna be okay, I'll make sure of it." J.C. said as he rubbed my back.
"I need to get out of here." I said suddenly, I jumped out of J.C.'s arms. I walked to the door.
"Wait!" J.C. yelled as I opened the door.
"I need some time to myself." I cried as I closed the door behind me. I pulled my key out of my pocket, and opened my door, I stepped in, and closed the door the moment J.C.'s door opened. I ran over to my bed, and buried my face in my pillow. I cried until I fell asleep. I woke up to an abrupt, loud knocking on my door. I looked at my clock; it was 12:30 a.m. 'Oh no, I'm just not gonna answer it.' I thought to myself. I put my head back down, and closed my eyes. There was another knock, but I just ignored it. A few seconds later, I heard something slide into the key card slot, and then I heard the door click. I sat up quickly, a bit startled. I didn't know who else had a key to my door. J.C., and Justin stepped into the room quietly.
"How'd you get in here?" I asked quickly.
"We kept calling your room, but you didn't answer, we kept knocking, but you didn't answer, so we went to the front desk, and explained the situation. We told them we were worried about you, so they gave us a key. I hope you don't mind." Justin said.
"Why are you worried about me?" I asked as I grabbed a pillow, folded my legs, and held the pillow tightly to my chest.
"Just because." Justin smiled. They both walked up, and sat down on the bed. I scooted back to get away from him.
"I want to be alone right now." I said softly.
"Well, I'll get going. J.C. wants to talk to you really badly though." Justin said. He got up, and left the room quietly.
"What did you want to talk about?" I asked. I was still hugging onto my pillow tightly.
"I just want you to talk to me. You need to talk to someone about this."
"I guess." I said softly. "I'm gonna get changed, so close your eyes or whatever." I said as I got up from the bed. I pulled off my shirt as I walked to the dresser where my bag was.
"How long were you and him together?" J.C. asked. I had my back to him, grabbed a shirt, and turned around to answer.
"Well, for about." I was cut off by J.C.
"What's that on your stomach?" J.C. asked.
"What's what?" I asked nervously as I threw my shirt on over me. I had two extra shirts in my bag, but no other clothes, besides a pair of dance pants.
"Those cuts on your lower stomach."
"My uh. My cat scratched me." I lied as I turned around quickly.
"Those don't look like scratches. Tell me what those are." J.C. demanded softly. He grabbed me, and turned me around quickly. I started to cry again. J.C. reached his hand up, and I flinched violently. "What's wrong?"
"You. You just scared me." I said as I pulled away, and walked to the bed. I sat down on the bed, and started to cry.
"Jake, I'm sorry. Tell me what's going on."
"I can't trust you." I cried. J.C. walked over to the bed, sat down, and put his arm around me.
"If there is anybody you can trust, it's me. Whatever you tell me will remain between us.
You need to talk about this."
"Okay." I whispered. I wiped my eyes, and turned to face J.C.
"What are those cuts on your stomach?"
"Sometimes. When I get really upset, or stressed, I cut myself. It's the only way I can get rid of it."
"Oh my god, that's not safe. Did you do it tonight?"
"No, not tonight. I would have, but I don't have anything to do it with."
"You can't do that to yourself. It's not good for you."
"I know, but. I'm trying to stop."
"Now why did you get so scared when I tried to touch your face."
"J.C., what I'm gonna tell you, you can't tell anyone. You can't talk to Meghan about it, you can't repeat it."
"I promise I won't."
"I--I flinched because." I sighed. "Tre hits me." I mumbled.
"What?" J.C. yelled.
"Shh! Tre hits me." I said a little louder.
"It's good that you're out of that then!" J.C. said softly. "Why did you tell me that he was a good boyfriend?"
"Well. He is, just not when he gets mad at me." I confessed.
"How bad did he hurt you?"
"I bled sometimes, I got bruises a lot too." I answered softly.
"I don't see why he'd want to hurt an innocent dace like this." J.C. said as he reached up slowly and stroked my cheek. I blushed lightly, and smiled timidly.
"Thank you J.C." I smiled. I looked up into J.C.'s calm, blue eyes, and found him moving in closer to my face. He closed his eyes, and I closed mine as well. I knew what was coming, but I'd ask questions later. I felt J.C.'s soft lips press against mine. He gently glided his lips over mine. The kiss didn't last very long. J.C. pulled away first, and slowly went back to his spot on the bed. "What was that for?"
"I just felt like doing it." J.C. said softly.
"I'm really sleepy J.C., I think I'm gonna go to bed." I said as I got up.
"Is it okay if I stay here with you? I want to make sure you're gonna be okay." J.C.
asked.
"Yeah, you can." I said softly. My shirt was really baggy, so I took of my pants, knowing J.C. wouldn't see my underwear.
"Is it alright if I sleep in my underwear?"
"Yeah sure, I'll sleep on the floor." I smiled.
"No you won't, I will." J.C. said.
"No, you take the bed J.C." I insisted.
"How about we both take the bed." J.C. offered.
"Alright." I said. I went into the bathroom, did everything I needed to, and came back into the room five minutes later. J.C. was already lying in the bed; he was sitting straight up shirtless, with the blankets at his waist.
"You ready to go to sleep?" J.C. asked.
"Yeah." I smiled as I turned off the lights, and made my way blindly to the bed. I crawled under the sheets, and rested my head on my pillow. I closed my eyes, and felt the bed shake a little as J.C. rolled over. I began to think of Tre, and everything else that had seemed to go wrong in my life, and began to cry. I sniffled softly, trying to cover it up. J.C. rolled over again.
"It's okay Jake." J.C. whispered.
"I'm sorry." I cried.
"It's okay, come here." J.C. said as he pulled me close to him. I wrapped my arms around him, and he did the same to me. J.C. turned onto his back, he still had his left arm around me, and I had both my arms around him. I continued to cry. "Do you want me to hold you while you sleep?" J.C. asked.
"Please." I cried.
"It's no problem at all babe. Just go to sleep."
I snuggled up to J.C.'s chest, and cried myself to sleep. I had no idea what was in store for me in the weeks to come.
*Well. I hoped ya'll liked this first chapter. If you'd like me to continue, responses would be appreciated. The e-mail is CutieDancr01@noahsmom.com