Out of Rhythm Part 7: Changing something Unchangeable P2
-Floren
@Xander's party
I spotted Xander's smooth blonde face in his loose t-shirt as he bounced along to the beat with Brittany. Kyrian was with Samantha making out like teenagers do. Samantha was a hot looking girl ....if only I was straight. She had long curly blonde hair and piercing eyes, but no one could beat 'my Xander' in the looks department. Yes, he had my attention from the very start. I adored him in every way; he was a perfect piece of art. When we kissed, the very instant he touched those full pink lips to mine, I almost melted. He was too good to be true. It felt awkward though because Renz was there when it happened, but it was Xander's way of moving on and I was a willing participant.
I just fell hard for him when we kissed and I wanted explore that feeling and for it to mean something, but most importantly I wanted him want me back. I had no regrets of leaving my old school and transferring to St. Mark. And as the days pass I just fall more and more in love with this guy. And tonight, before this party ends, I'm going ask him to be my boyfriend. He deserves a better person than that Renz guy, and that better person is me.
-Brittany
Xander and I got pretty wasted after a few too many shots. We rocked like crazed lunatics on the floor; we danced to the beat like the world depended on it. Xander looked hot, not that I'm saying he was not before, the truth is I liked how he looked before more than I do his current style. We were having so much fun but I felt a little tired from the dancing.
"Hey Xander, I don't feel good I'll get something to drink okay." I said.
"Okay but don't go too far you might get raped." He said winking at me. I could tell from the crazy warning that he was totally wasted. As I made my way to where Kyrian, Floren and Samantha were, a hot looking stud got in my way.
"Long time no see hot chick." He said. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
"Chester? Oh- my- god!" I shouted as jumped up on him and bear hugged him tightly,
"Whoa, I just got here and you're going to kill me." He chuckled.
I punched him on his arms when we parted. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? You left like I was nothing to you, now here you are coming back like nothing happened and----" He kissed me cutting off my runt.
I kissed him back as he grabbed my cheeks. He pulled back, looked into my eyes and said "Hey, I didn't really mean it when I broke up with you, I thought I could live without you, but I can't all this time in Florida was just a test to see if I could stay away from you, clearly I can't. So I came back to you and I want to make it up to you."
I pulled a smug look on my face then hit him in his gut. As expected he cringed and doubled over. He left me here because he's parents wanted him to study in Florida and it so sweet of him to come back because of me. I fought of a smile.
"God I miss that punch." He said wincing then chuckling. I always loved his straight chestnut hair and but the cream of the cake were his playful crystal blue eyes, there were moments when I could lose myself looking into them.
"You think I'll make it easy for you" I asked raising an eyebrow. "You better be ready boy, for it will be a bumpy ride for you. Now start your penance and go get me a drink." I ordered winking at him.
He fixed his composure and smiled at me. I crossed my arms. Gosh he was more toned than before, one could see the trace of his broad pecs and chiselled abs, god how I missed his body.
"As you wish ma'am" Chester smiled flashing me his dimples then he turned to get my drink. I walked to our table blushing. I was definitely going to make it hard for him. I couldn't help smiling to myself thinking of how much fun I was going to have at his expense.....
-Xander
"Hey Kid!" Jeff greeted. "Wow Jeffy!" I said hugging him.
"Whoa you really are tipsy" He said. I then grabbed a shot from a passing crew but before I could take a sip he took it away. "Okay, I know It's your birthday but don't want you to get in any trouble, so no more shots for you" He said. "Oh and by the way I like your new look" He added.
I made a face. He laughed. "Here, Happy Birthday" He handed me a box. I looked at it and it was a costly watch. I looked at him in amusement. "Hey Jeff this is a little pricey and--"
"Eh...." He cut me short by raising a finger. "You know how important you are to us; you're like a son to me, so please don't complain okay?"
I smiled then pulled him in for a big hug. I wished he was my father.
"Thanks." I said. "Okay now, go and have fun but stay away from trouble." I nodded then got back to the floor. Almost all of the people were wild on the dance floor just like I was. I wondered if most of them just like I were here tonight to get rid of pain, after all pain is universal right? I took another shot from the passing crew but almost immediately someone grab my hand again before I could sip it.
"What now Jeff---" I started to complain but stopped when i realised that the offending hand was Renz's.
"You'll get drunk." Renz said sounding a little upset. I retracted my hand, looked him in the eye and drank it.
"Hey you made it " I feigned excitement knowing I wished he hadn't. He handed me a box. I stared at it for a moment. "I wanted to keep my promise" He said it with the most pleading voice I have ever heard. I felt like my chest was going to explode again. I took a calming breath, took the box and immediately put it in my pocket, not bothering to look at it. "Thanks." I said smiling at his frowning face, with an enthusiasm that I didn't feel.
Trisha was on him in an instant hugging him he didn't hugged her back though. "Happy birthday Xander" Trisha said. "It's a shame I wasn't able to get you a gift."
"No it's okay." I said. "Come on; let's go to our table."
We walked through the crowd to get to our table. Floren was looking at me while Kyrian was there with his so called 'friend' Samantha. And there were my other friends who happened to be not so close to me, but friends of mine nonetheless. Brittany was with this guy I had never seen before.
"Who the hell are you?" I asked rudely, I blame the alcohol for making me loose tongued and rude. "I'm sorry I didn't mean that, my bad am tipsy you know."
Everyone at the table chuckled; the stud stood up then offered his hand to me. "I'm Chester man, Brit's boyfriend." "Ex." Brit corrected. "Not for long" he said smiling at her.
Damn, he's so sexy. I thought while I grabbed his hand and shook it. "Xander... and this is Renz and Trisha and ..." I quickly introduced everyone else to him. He shook hands with everyone, and then we all settled down. It was apparent that most of us were tired from all the dancing and drinking
I stood up raising my hands. "Hey who wants to play spin the bottle" I shouted. Everyone at our table cheered. "Let's spin the bottle, Spin the bottle." I'm about to heat things up. I looked Renz and noted that he looked back concerned.....
hehehe this was too easy I was about to start my plan......
-Renz
The game turned out to be cool. A person would spin the bottle and whichever two people it pointed to would have to kiss each other. A random guy spun the bottle and it pointed to Brittany. They kissed with the tongue and everyone cheered The Chester guy looked uneasy. It spun a couple of time then it was Kyrian turn, the bottle pointed at random girl. They kissed for a little while and everyone laughed. I kept looking at Xander who was laughing really hard. His face was all pink from the alcohol but even then he was still so cute, I wanted him to be mine.
Why didn't he even look at my gift? It was like it didn't mean anything to him. I wondered silently. Soon it was my turn so I spun the bottle wishing it would point at Xander. He was quiet as the bottle kept spinning. At first it looked like it would come to a stop pointing at him, my heart was pounding, but, it stopped at Kyrian's girl who was beside Xander. I felt so disappointed.
"Renz! Renz !" Trisha cheered rather loudly. I kissed the girl lightly without any affection. True to habit I closed my eyes and immediately imagined the lips were Xander's. It was so good to have his lips on mine again. I kissed hard and even used my tongue, just like I imagined I would kiss Xander, abruptly I heard wild cheers and the noise snapped out my reverie. Disappointedly I opened my eyes and realised it was not Xander' that i had kissed, I looked at him, uncertain of his reaction, he looked right back ata me with a smug look on his face; like I was daring him to upstage me. I looked away with an unsettling feeling down my stomach.
"My turn!" Floren announced. He spun the bottle and it stopped pointing at Xander. "Oh!!!!" everyone yelled. Xander stood up then leaned towards Floren's face. I was past bothered, i was disturbed; they kiss hard and without restraint. I watched as their tongue battle for domination. People around me laughed and cheered, while I felt like my blood was boiling in my veins. I struggled to fight the urge to punch this Floren guy. He was messing with 'my Xander' and I would be damned if I did not fight for what was mine. They made out for what seemed like an hour then parted. Xander looked at me with haughtiness. I looked down and away from him; I did not want him to see how hurt I was. More spinning and kissing happened and then It was Xander's turn..........
"Yeah you go birthday boy!" I heard Kyrian cheer.
He spun the bottle and I hoped that it would point at me. It was about to stop pointing at me , my heart was beating hard with anticipation and the expectation that I would get to kiss Xander better than that Floren guy ever could, but the bottle still had momentum from the spinning and it moved slightly and came to a dead stop........ pointing at Trisha.
-Xander
Perfect, this is what I wanted to happen, my plan was coming along rather effortlessly.
"You can finally kiss a girl!" A random guy exclaimed, the comment prompted laughter. Trisha stood up and leaned over the table in my direction. I didn't bother to look at Renz; I knew I had his full attention. I counted on making him jealous or at the very least angry at watching me kiss his girlfriend, I really did not care which emotion he felt, as long as it was an ugly emotion that hurt him as much as he hurt me. Ooh I was going to make this kiss a show stopper.....
"Xander Hummelford, I'm gonna rock your world" She said asI leaned in for a kiss. She kissed me back; I gave her a wet kiss as I let my tongue enter her mouth holding her face in place to perfect the assault, she responded by moaning in satisfaction. I wanted it to last so that Renz could both feel and see the anguish of having someone fool around with your loved one. I intensified my lip locked assault, and Trisha played right along with my plan by not backing away.
Next thing I know, something crashed on my jaw making me fall down. Not so long after, I realized that Renz had swung his fist ball onto my face. Kyrian was in between us acting anxious. "Dude what the hell is wrong with you!" Kyrian practically yelled pushing him back. Brit and Floren were instantly at my side. And due to all the commotion we started to get people's attention.
"Come on, I've got your back." I heard Floren saying as he helped me stand. "God you're bleeding, I'll go get some ice." I heard Brittany say I was too flustered to open my eyes, too disoriented. And if I'm not mistaken, Renz stormed out soon after and Trisha had followed him. Great! Now he was hurting, which was my exact intention?.. Well I was hurt too.
But I was not done with him, not by a long shot. By the time I would be done with him, he would know pain, and I knew what pain was, after all I learned from the best, him, didn't I?
Floren and I were in his car and was he pressing ice on my bruised jaw and lips, it really hurt. The others were inside probably talking to amongst themselves about the incident; I promised the kiss would be a show stopper, so I guess I was right. Too bad the alcohol was starting ware off because my pain from the blow was doubling.
"He really hit you hard, didn't he" floren asked softly
I didn't respond, inside I was thinking that Renz was a real jerk. I guess he couldn't take as good as he gave. I held Floren's hand still in order to take the ice. "I'm okay now." I said. "Thanks." I was about to get out of his car when he suddenly grabbed me?.
"I love you" He blurted out. I was taken aback by his words. "What!" I said in confusion.
He leaned in closer and held both my hands. "Xander I want to be with you, and to take care of you. You are such a beautiful person and you deserve someone to love you with their very best I know this are all happening too fast but that's how I feel about you. You're the only one that makes me feel like this and when you kissed me, it only confirmed my feelings for you."
"I don't know what to say" I said still confused by his proclamation.
"You don't have to say anything; you don't have to love me back at least not yet. I just want you to open your heart and let me prove that I'm a better person to love you." I stared at his love tinted brown eyes as he leaned forward. His lips touched mine and I don't why I kissed him back. His lips were so soft I thought I would as I let hurt them with my tongue. He held my cheeks then kissed me harder. I don't know why I did not stop him; maybe it was because the kiss was stirring a burning in my chest. He then trailed his lips on to my neck and started to suck on it. He moved his hand on my flat muscled stomach and ripped my shirt off and I did the same to him. My cock is swelling, he pushed me on to the seat and then started to suck on my nipple as he groped my crotch and massaged the lump, it felt so damn good. I grabbed his head back to my lips and kissed him again. That made him aggressive making me almost suffocate from the intensity of his kiss. He then unbuckled my belt, unzipped me and took out my now hard cock. I was moaning in pleasure. I was shocked when suddenly he dove his mouth on it reaching my pubes on one try. It was amazing that he deep-throated me in just a one single move.
"Ahhh!" I exclaimed.
He was bobbing on me up and down and I was meeting him with thrusts of my own. I was rubbing his head when he looked up suddenly remembered all the anguish that Renz had put me through.
"Floren wait!" I said stopping him. "I can't do this."
I zipped up my pants and put my shirt on. He was staring at me; his eyes displayed his tormented feeling. I touched his cheek
"Is it because of Renz?" He asked in a hurtful voice.
"No." I lied.
"Then why?" I held his hands then stared at his watery grey eyes. "It's because I am still hurt and letting someone in, when one has unresolved baggage, is a bad ideaI. "I'm broken floren" I said and gently kissed his forehead, I am still broken and I have to heal first before I can let you in. I like you but am not ready for this. I want to put myself first for once so I can heal and move on, you understand right?
He lay his head on my shoulder, exhaled and said "I do, In a way I do understand, but want you to know that I'm always here for you......waiting for you."
"You're a great person and I know someday you'll be happy."
"I agree, that day will be when we are together." He quipped. We both laughed.
"So can we go back to the others?" He nodded then got back inside.....
Days passed and Renz and I never talked again after the incident. I acknowlge his presence, even if he was often times a few feet from me. I knew he wanted to apologize but chickened out many times. From the few times I would sneak glances at him, he looked and acted like everything was perfect in his life, this left me chocked up since he turned mine inside out. But the worst part is, I can't change my feelings for him, it just seemed to strengthen, never fading, bitter sweet. My mind wanted to let go but my heart kept holding on. This inner conflict ensured that I kept my distance from him.
The saddest part of all was I had finally realised my planned revenge was pointless. The plan did not soothe my brokenness, mater of fact it got me physically assaulted; more pain for me. It was really silly of me trying to circumvent the natural order of things; I wonder what made me think I could change the unchangeable. Renz was living his perfect life and I was languishing with this deep seated feels for him. Nothing was going to change this, I know realise what a fool I have been fighting the inevitable.... So am going to stop fighting and accept my circumstance
-Renz
I cannot face him, not after I physically hurt him. I just made everything worse. I really didn't want to hurt him; I was overwhelmed with jealousy and wanted them to separate. I know violence has no excuse, but it was a knee-jerk reaction, I didn't think about what I was doing, I just lashed out and the next thing I know 'My Xander is on the floor. When we are at class I often time stare at his perfect and wonder why the part of his body I love the most. As the days go by I'm finding that getting more and more into him.
Trisha passed by me, not even acknowledging me.
"Hey Trisha can we talk" I asked rushing after her.
"For what" She snapped. "You have no business with me and I am just so over you." She then rudely brushed off my arm that is placed on her shoulder. I never wanted to hurt Trisha but I can't be with her either, I loved another person and being with her wasn't just right anymore. I had to be true to myself and if that meant we had to server ties...Well so be it.
*flashback
"Why? Did I do something wrong?" Her eyes were teary.
"Nothing It's not you it's me. I love someone else and being with you just doesn't make feel right."
"But I love you and you love me" She said tearing up some more.
"I do love you Trisha, but not the kind of love you are referring to, it's better that we became friends we have a lot in common and your such a sweet person." I said putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.
She moved away. "Yeah who would have thought that being so fluid would make you so stupid?"
"I'm sorry Trisha" I tried to hug her but she pushed me off.
"Get off me."She said then stormed off.
I sat on the floor where my locker was and started to think of him. I really missed his smiles when he talked to me. My life was just not complete without Xander.
I suddenly felt someone sink down beside me. Without looking up I knew it was him. I knew this because my pulse accelerated and my chest seemed to tighten
"Hey." I said in a low voice.
"Hey." He smiled looking down.
"Look, I'm sorry what happened atthe party, it will never happened again. I was a jerk and---"
"No it's okay." He cut me off in a mild tone. "I would have done the same thing if I were you. I just want to ease the tension between us and move on." He then looked at me with those deep brown eyes. "I want us to be friends; I'm tired of pushing people away and hiding my frustrations. I cannot be at peace if I keep my frustrations bottled up inside. So let by-gone be by-gone right?
I touched his cheeks; he was just as perfect as always. I leaned towards him without thinking about it"I'm dating Floren now." He hastly informed me, and then he stood up and walked away. I watched as he walked away from me, leaving my heart to shutter in what seemed like a million pieces.