"He loves me"
Robert removed his lips from mine and sat back on his ankles. He was staring at my face to gauge my reaction from having kissed me. I looked at him sitting there with an expectant look on his face. His frightened and pleading eyes continued to pierce my soul. I just continued to stare at him and saw a nervous twitch in his cheek. I was feeling very lightheaded, as if all the blood had drained from my face and I was being deprived of oxygen.
"Brent? Are you all right guy? Please say something." As he spoke, I noticed a single tear swell in his right eye and build until the weight carried it down his cheek.
I was transfixed on it. It reached his jaw line; a shining trail marked its passage. He was so beautiful. His hair had a sheen to it, as the sun coming through my bedroom window accentuated the normal luster of it, creating an aura of competing brilliance, trying to push back the darkness of his blue-black hair. My mind was assimilating what I had just been told. Robert didn't just come out to me. He didn't say, "Brent, I'm gay and I want to have sex with you." He said volumes more. He said he loved me. My best friend, the object of so many of my desires, hopes and dreams, loved me. I took my gaze away from the tear and looked into his eyes again. I was caught and landed by the love and depth of emotions flowing out from them. I couldn't hold the gaze anymore and let my head fall until my chin touched my bare chest. Tears fell from my eyes and hit my towel wrapped lap, where they were quickly absorbed in the soft cotton.
"Oh Brent, I'm so sorry," Robert again pleaded, "Please don't hate me! I'll never do that again, I swear! Just talk to me. I never would have kissed you if I thought I'd hurt you this much. I've just been so confused. It's just that every time we go our separate ways lately, I've gotten this tightness in my chest, like I was losing a part of myself and that I'd never get it back. Then when I'd see you again, the pain would disappear. I thought I saw love in your eyes when you looked at me and my heart was so full of joy. I didn't want to wait another day without telling you I loved you too." and reached out to touch my shoulder.
When his hand connected with my bare shoulder, I involuntary flinched as if touched with a hot iron. Say something to him you idiot. He thinks he's hurt you. What are you waiting for?
When I flinched at his touch, Robert took it as total rejection. His emotions broke through whatever barrier had held them in check and he began to sob openly. Tears were flowing down his face. He stood up and gathered his duffle from beside the bed. He wiped his face and tried to stem the flow of tears that clouded his vision. He went to the bedroom door, then turned to me and said, "I love you," then turned to leave the room.
"Don't go." I whispered "Don't leave me Robert; don't ever leave me." I said in a small voice looking at him as he turned around to look at me. Tears continued to roll and tumble down his face and fall to the floor. "You said you loved me. Did you know that no one has ever told me that before? Sure, my mother and father say it, but they have to, don't they? But you, you said you loved me. Do you really love me Robert? Do you love me the way I have loved you for the last two years? Do you lay awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering what I'm doing? What I'm dreaming about? Do you wish I'd take you in my arms and hold you tight each time I saw you? Does the simple act of my walking within your sight cause your breath to catch? That's how I feel Robert. That's how much I love you. So please don't leave me."
Robert dropped his duffle back on the floor and slowly walked towards me. His progress was playing in my minds eye as if he were caught in slow motion. He extended his arms as he reached my bed. I stood up and he enfolded me in his arms and held me tight to his chest. When his arms came in contact with my bare skin again, I did not flinch. I molded myself within that grasp to become part of him.
"I could never leave you," he said through emotion strained vocal cords. He loosened his grip on my back and moved his face to where he was looking directly into mine. "I love you Brent. There's no stronger way I can say it. There's no deeper emotion that I possess than the feelings I have inside for you. If I could have said these words to you first, instead of them being said in that movie, Jerry McGuire, we saw a couple of years back, I would have. 'You complete me.'
"Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at hello ... you had me at hello." I said. We both looked at each other and the tension was replaced with the sound of hysterical laughter as we both broke the hug. I was laughing so hard that the muscles in my stomach were cramping up and I couldn't catch my breath. Robert was having as much trouble as I was and each time our eyes would meet, a new round of hysterics would begin. I leaned forward, trying to catch my breath and the towel I had wrapped around my waist came loose and fell to the floor. I looked down at it, then up at Robert. When I saw his eyes, they were as big around as saucers. He was staring directly at my naked body as if stunned. This was too much for me to handle, the look on his face, and again I was racked with bouts of laughter. I was so weak from the emotions of a few moments ago, that I felt like I was going to fall to the floor. I fell on my bed and continued to laugh at the sight of Robert's shocked expression.
Finding the strength to speak, I managed to say to Robert, "Damn, you look like I just scared the shit out of you. You should see the look of shock on your face. I wish I had a picture of it. Maybe I could sell it to the theaters to make a poster of and display in the lobbies of scary movies." Then lost it again. My stomach was beginning to ache from the strain of laughing and I finally regained control and sat up on the edge of the bed.
"Damn Brent! I remember in middle school we used to tease you about the size of your dick, but now it looks even bigger and that body of yours! Your absolutely gorgeous dude!"
I looked down at my naked body, and then blushed from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. "You need to stop saying things like that. It feels like I'm constantly blushing around you. It's embarrassing when we're around other people. Besides, I'm not that great. Look at yourself. Now there's a perfect body. Muscles in all the right places and that package I saw when you showed me your "rash". Didn't you see me drooling?"
"Not at all!" he said. "You hide it very well. If I had seen you drooling, I would have thrown myself on you and we could have avoided all of this. I was so scared that you would find out how I really felt about you. As far as I knew, you were the 'straightest" person I had ever met, but I was also getting these little signals from you. Talk about conflicting emotions. I kept doing little things that would suggest that I was attracted to you, but you'd always blush or just ignore me. By the way, your blushing makes you even cuter than you are already." And he threw that charming smile my way, "but you'd just take what I did in stride." As Robert spoke he seemed to be inching his way closer to me as I sat on the bed. "You know, you were really cruel sometimes." He stated as a matter of fact.
"Me? Cruel? How so?" I asked.
Robert made it to the bed at this point and sat down next to me. I turned and faced him, waiting for him to explain himself. "All the times I've spent the night here over the years and the two of us sleeping in this very bed. This house of yours has 6 bedrooms. Your brother and sister have both moved out and your parents sleep in the same room. That leaves 4 rooms that are never occupied, yet each time I stayed over, you insisted that I stay in your room and sleep in your bed with you."
"Well, I wanted you close by. Besides, we'd spend most of the night on the PlayStation or Internet or just listening to music and talking. How the hell could we do that, if you were off in another room?" I shot back.
"Whoa! Don't get pissed, just hear me out. There was so many nights that I'd wake up and see you sleeping next to me. You know you like to sleep on your back?" he asked me.
I nodded. "My mother told me that I slept this way from habit. When I was little, I had problems breathing through my nose. She took me to a nose specialist and he did a procedure that enlarged my nasal passages so I could breath more freely. It was too late though, because I had already developed the habit of sleeping on my back. I still don't see how I've been cruel. Do I snore?"
"No, no... If you'd let me finish!" he sighed.
"Alright! Jeez, go ahead." He's so cute, I thought as he started explaining again.
"Anyway, you must have some really vivid dreams. I'd be watching you sleep and your eyes would be darting around beneath your lids. Sometimes you'd lick you lips, or make little sucking noises with your mouth. This would drive me crazy and make me so horny. I would watch you to see if your dream was getting you excited. Every time, without fail, you would start to get hard under the sheets. I'd watch as your dick jumped under the sheet and grow with each passing moment. You'd moan and make noises that would almost make me cum in my briefs. God how I wanted to reach out and hold your dick as it expanded under those sheets."
"STOP!" I blushed. "You're embarrassing me! You'd lie there and watch this go on? You should have shifted in the bed or something to wake me up!" I needed to stop him. I casually looked down at my exposed cock and could tell that all of this was causing the blood to start pumping into my shaft and if it continued, I'd be sitting here with a raging hardon in no time.
"All right, all right! I'll stop, but anyway, that's how you were cruel." He stated.
"I still don't think that's cruel. I was asleep and dreaming. How did I know what was going on with YOU?" I retorted.
Chuckling and leaning forward, Robert said, "Oh I think you knew exactly what you were doing to me." I gave him a quizzical look and he continued. "More than once, I'd notice a smile form on your face as I watch your nocturnal activities and your eyes would stop darting around. Then you would mumble some GIRL'S name!"
"Um...I would NOT!" I protested.
"Yes you would, you asshole! Now tell the truth." He jumped on the bed laughing and pushed me down to lay flat on my back. Then he wrestled on top of me and pinned my arms above my head as he sat on my lap to prevent me from getting up. "You caught me staring at you those times, didn't you?"
"Robert let me up!" I yelled.
Still laughing, he said, "Not until I here you confess the truth!"
With him sitting on my exposed cock and the closeness of his body as he covered me, was just too much for me to take. My cock started to fill up once again and would soon be pressing against his clothed ass. "All right! I confess! I confess!" I shouted. "I didn't want you to think that I was getting turned on by being in the bed with you, so when I saw you through my squinted eyelids a couple of times, I thought that I had better mumble some girls name or you'd think I was a perv! Now get off of me you bully!" I said.
"Ah ha! I told you so!" he beamed, then he leaned down and I felt his lips connect with mine for the second time in one day. I felt his tongue moving against my closed lips and I parted them slightly to see if this was the invitation he was looking for. I felt his tongue enter my mouth and work its way around and against my own. He tasted so good! The mixing of our saliva and the feel of breath coming from his nose against my cheek was all my cock needed to go to full mast. He must have felt the hardness against his ass, because he moved his legs back until he was now lying on top of me, cock to cock. I could feel his hardness through his shorts and he slowly moved his hips up and down on top of mine. I extracted my arms from his now lose grip and ran my hands down his back, pulling him closer into me. I spread my legs and he responded by edging his body between them and increasing the contact of our cocks. I continued to move my hands down his back until they were both on his ass. I could feel his rhythm as he moved his pelvis up and down and the muscles in his ass cheeks contracted with each forward thrust.
What are we doing! "Robert!" I disengaged from our kiss. "Robert stop! We have to stop!" I protested.
Robert focused on me and asked, "Why? Brent I want to make love to you. I've dreamt of this moment for so long and I love you so much. Now that I know you love me too, it makes me want you all the more." He leaned forward to once again engage in a kiss. I rolled to the left and moved out from under him. My cock was still straining with the build up of teen lust, mixed with the need to give Robert what I have wanted to for so long.
"I'm sorry Robert. We can't do this now. I want you too. I want you with every ounce of my being, but this wouldn't be right."
"Why not?" he asked and drew me in with those eyes that promised me everything I ever wanted in life.
"It just wouldn't Robert. We just confessed to each other no more than a couple of hours ago that we have been in love with the other. I should have gotten dressed way before now. It's my fault." I moved towards my dresser and got a shirt and pair of boxer-briefs out of the draw. Robert sat on the bed and watched me as I pulled the shirt over my head and stepped in the briefs, pulling them up and over my deflating cock. "Lets just spend the rest of the evening holding each other and talking. Please?" I asked.
"I don't understand," he said "You were as excited as I was, I could tell Brent. Why should we stop now? I NEED you."
I walked over and sat next to him on the bed. I reach for his face and cupped both sides in my hands. I looked at him, eyes meeting eyes, and said, "We can wait one more night and day to let this all settle in and give ourselves a chance to get used to BEING with each other, before we GIVE ourselves to each other, can't we? I want you as much as you want me Robert," I could tell he wasn't accepting this well, but we HAD to wait, didn't we? "Just hold me, please?"
"Ok Brent. If you want to wait, then we can wait." He didn't sound too convincing. "But ONLY until tomorrow night, otherwise you better have 911 in your speed dial cause I'll rape you if you try this again!" he said as he took me in his arms and I cuddled up in his embrace. He looked down at me and said, "I love you. If you only knew how happy I am at this very moment." His eyes began to get misty and I saw the signs of tears developing. I moved up and brought my lips together with his, and then I said,
"You couldn't be more happier than I am at this very moment or more in love with me, than I am with you. It's just an impossibility."
"So, are you going to admit that you were cruel those nights I spent with you in your bed?" He asked and lifted his eyebrows, awaiting my reply.
"Ok, I'll admit I was cruel, but YOU were even crueler." At this, his eyebrows came together and I continued, "You never ONCE gave me any indication those nights that you'd let me experience the real thing with you in my arms instead of only in my head." And I smiled.
"If you only knew how hard I tried to make myself the object of those dreams" and he sighed.
"Robert, you WERE the object of those dreams." And I once again pulled him to me and melted in his arms as we kissed and shared our love for each other.
-------------------------- Just a side note: The hardest thing I thought I had ever done was to stop Robert this first night after we confessed to each other. It's kind of funny how you remember what you were taught and apply it so readily to any situation. My parents always taught me that to fall in love was very special and that when it happened, rushing the rest would only spoil the memory of the moment. I wonder if they would be proud of me, knowing that I applied it to the first person I feel in love with and that the person was a guy. ~:)~
I hope you enjoyed "He loves me".
Brent (brent@cutey.com)