Overcoming Obstacles Part 2 By Alex Michaels
Disclaimer** Unfortunately, I screwed up on the first part. Most of it's fine. I just didn't put a disclaimer on it. For the record, I don't own the Mack truck company, or the song, 'Alive' or P.O.D. And there were a few revisions that I didn't get to make. Oh, and I thought of this while I was reviewing this chapter before putting it on Nifty. I know that for some of you, those who over-analyze things, the injuries don't quite match up with the severity of the accident. For instance, I got an e-mail about his conciousness and bones injuries, other than his spine. To remedy a few loopholes, we're going to change the time elapsation to a few months after the accident, instead of a few days. The below story is almost completely fictional. It did happen, just a bit differently. There is some truth to it, though not a lot. If asked by my readers I will post an addition after I am done with it, telling fact from fiction. I wrote this story with the intention of it being a tear jerker. If you don't shed a tear by the time this story ends, then I faied as a writer. If reading the below material breaks any of your local or national laws, please exit the website now.
Janet
I had broke down crying when I saw him. I saw my little Alex. I saw him break. He was the one. It was somewhat of a joke amongst the family about how nothing ever phased him. Heck, he was the one who could survive a nuclear fallout, watch everyone he knew die, and have the strength to move on. He was a survivor. Even when mom died he hardly cried at all. I knew he wanted to. But he didn't. Nothing ever got to him. Nothing ever shook him. Until now. This was the first time I'd seen him cry like this since he was six. And I would give anything to be able to take it away. It shook my soul. It pained my heart. It destroyed me to see him have to go through this. It made it worse knowing that this was my fault.
I wanted to believe that he would be able to take this as he had everything else. I wanted to believe that he wouldn't take it hard. I knew it was an impossibility the moment the doctor began talking. He started crying before the doctor even told him. He probably remembered after the doctor got started.
I hate the doctor. He actually said that my son was lucky. He only suffered an 'incomplete' spinal cord injury. The damage to his spine was extensive, but it was still incomplete. I know that it could have been worse. But the word 'lucky' isn't something I want to hear right about now. The doctor said that he had retained control of his bladder and bowel movements. The doctor also said that he retained the ability to have sexual intercourse, so, one day after he was married, he could have kids. I told him that Alex probably won't be able to father children anyway. I told him he was gay. Alex came out about four and a half months ago and seemed to not have any problems with people knowing. So I didn't think it mattered.
I think it was the fit that scared me the most. Throwing things, shaking, twisting and writhing against nothing. When the drink splattered against the wall I jumped. I slid down the wall and cried. Then when I heard the IV fall over, I jumped up and looked through the window of the room (This is the kind of hospital that has windows in the halls that let people see into the room without going in. Think the hospital from the show, Scrubs.) I ran in just as he slumped over. Then I cried some more.
Alex
When I came to after passing out, there wasn't anyone in my room. They're probably afraid I'm gonna start throwing more stuff. I remember being 'aware' this time, which leads me to believe that I wasn't really passed out. Or asleep. I don't know how to explain it. It was like I was asleep, but I was actively thinking. Not 'dreaming'. Thinking. I'm not mad anymore. I'm not going to start throwing things. I don't think that I've, 'come to terms with it', yet. It's more like.... I'm numb. Halfway depressed. I don't really care right now. I want to be alone. I want to think. I want peace and quiet. I look over at the stack of letters and cards. Why the hell not? I don't know how old they are, but it's not like I've got anything else to do. I pick up a card.
The front of the card has a cartoon drawing of an icebag and a thermometer. I open it up and there's the typical 'Get well soon.' in flourishing caligraphy, as well as a message. 'Please get well Alex. Schools not the same without you. Not to mention I need someone to help me with my science homework. :) (The smiley was really in there.) Then there was a small hand drawn heart at the bottom left corner, 'Love Haley'. Yeah. Sounds like Haley. She's one of my best friends. One of the only few who stood by me when I came out. She was the second person to know. Anyway, it's amazing how much a card and a handwritten message can cheer you up. I sighed. If only she knew that this wasn't something I could recover from. On to the next one.
The next few cards were fairly worded. 'Hope you heal fast.', 'Really miss you.', 'Hope your okay man.'. Then I pulled another one from the stack. I could tell just from the cover of the card that it was from Devin. It was twice as big as the other cards, dark blue, and had three lines of really big writing that said, 'HAPPY BIRTHD-' with a slash across it. The next line said, 'MERRY CHRIS-', with another slash. Then the last line said, 'Hope you get well soon.' On the inside it said, 'Hope you enjoyed the humor, laughter is the best medicine. Get better as fast as you can and remember that you're family and friends are thinking of you.'. There was a handwritten message at the bottom that said, 'Dude I found this card in Hallmark. I thought it was hilarious and I knew you would too. We all really miss you man. Be sure to call or txt when you get the chance. I hope you have fun lounging around in bed all day.'. On the other side of the card Devin had signed it and wrote, 'Pimp-in-training' under it. Yeah, right. Devin was the star linebacker on the football team and me and him have been friends since third grade when he moved here. We hit it off the moment we met. Like.... oh, what's a really cheesy analogy... Two peas in a pod. He was the first person I told. I told him over summer break in my freshman/sophomore year. He was cool with it, though he was upset that I thought he would take it badly. Anyway, I'm definitely keeping this. I started on the stack again.
I got through about five more cards before I came to a small cluster of four cards that had been rubberbanded together. They were all glittery and each one had a gold crucifix on the top front cover of it with the message, 'May the Lord heal your pain.' on it. I can bet I know who sent these. I opened the first one and it had no card message, just a handwritten one. 'I hope your recovery is swift and that you return to school quickly. I want you to know that I still pray for you to see the light and to cast out the demons that rule your life. Lots of love, Megan.' Pff. Figures. I took a quick glance at all the other ones. They all said practically the same thing except for the bottom one.
It had the same glitter and crucifix, but on the inside it said, 'Sorry about the preacherestesses in training giving you the basher cards. I got roped into going with them by my dad when I went to church last Sunday. A small group all went out and got you cards. I found this one I actually thought you'd like, but it was like a church rule that I get you something glittery. Anyway, I hope that your okay and that you have a speedy recovery. Can't wait to see you at school. Charlie. P.S. If you haven't already, don't read the others' cards. Oh, and I put this farting powder stuff that I got from this really cool store in the mall in Megan's drink when I saw what she wrote, and she farted the entire ride back to church. It was HILARIOUS!!!' I actually felt myself laughing. Charlie is probably one of my closest and somewhat creepiest friends. I told her and Zack at the same time and she said, 'HA! I knew it! Pay up Zack.' Those two had taken bets on whether I was gay or not. She looks really emo. Her hair is black with a blue streak and she wears black all the time, but she's actually really sweet. We became friends when we bumped into each other at a concert in seventh grade. She had no idea I liked rock music.
There were only two other noteworthy cards in the pile. One was from Zack and it had a picture of a pot leaf on the front. It said, 'Hope you and Mary J are having a good time. Medical marijuana cures everything.'. Then he had written, 'Hope your okay man, you can't imagine what it's like here when you're gone. I need my bro back. Zack.' Zack and me went back to preschool. We were best friends till second grade when he moved away. I pretty much floated the rest of that year. Then he moved back in sixth and him and Devin fought over me. Not literally, though you could tell that they didn't like that the other one took up my time. And, no, before any of you get any ideas, neither of them is gay. I picked up the last card.
It had a picture of a sick rhino on the front of it and it said, 'You know what you and this rhino have in common?'. I opened the card. 'Your both strong enough to handle anything. And I know that you can...' I flipped the card over again. '.. Power right through this!' It had a picture that made it look like the rhino was breaking through the back of the card. There was a message. 'Hey Alex. I saw this card and it made me think of you. I hope you get to feelin' better. Eli.' Now, Eli, I don't know about. He's actually a year younger than me. I'm a junior, he's a sophomore. We had the same teacher for one of our classes when we were younger and were her best kids. Anyway, he might be gay. Not my type, but he might be gay. I think I picked up a few signals from him once.
I looked at the bare table surface now. All the cards were in a pile on my lap. Except for the ones from Megan and her friends. I threw them away. I picked up Devin's, Haley's, Charlie's, Zack's, and Eli's and put them into a neat stack on the table. I grabbed the rest and put them into three larger stacks around theirs. Yeah, I am slightly OCD about things like that. It's amazing. Not thirty minutes ago I was an emotional nuke. Just waiting to go off. (I know I didn't feel that way, but every doctor would have said that.) Now, I would give almost anything to be surrounded by my friends. I wanted solitude. Now I feel alone. I looked over beside my bed. There, folded and leaning against the wall, was a hospital wheelchair. I felt my heart drop a little.
"Might as well get used to it." The IV's had been taken out of my arm so there wasn't anything hooked up to me. I lifted my upper body up so I could sit up. You don't realize how much you depend on your legs for everything until you lose them. I was just lucky that I was as strong as I was in the upper body before my extended period of unconciousness, so my muscles were'nt as weak. I reached over and managed to pull the wheelchair off the wall and unfolded it. I had to hold on to one of the guardrails on my bed, but I managed to reach down and put the brake on. I scooted myself over till I was half sitting on the left rail. I grabbed the right armrest of the chair with my left hand and scooted over a little more so I was just barely sitting on the rail. I moved my right hand from the right guardrail to the left one and moved my left hand from the right armrest to the left one. "One. Two. Three." I lifted my upper body up and carefully lowered it onto the seat.
Now, because of how I'd moved, my legs were still on the bed. So, I gripped my left thigh with both of my hands, and hauled it onto the chair. This caused my right leg to be pulled over so it was just barely on the bed. And I could see it falling. So I quickly grabbed that one as it was falling and guided it to fall into the chair. I noticed when I lifted them that they seemed way too light. I adjusted my legs to look more natural. Wow. I was sweating. I wheeled over to the sink mirror and flipped my black hair to the left. "I did it." I studied myself for a second I looked into the dark blue eyes that belonged to me. I think a little of the light was extinguished. I seemed skinnier. You know, without the chair and lost weight, I'd actually look pretty hot. I'm not being narcacistic, I've been told this by a lot of people. Guys and girls. Minus the chair and weight exceptions. My hair was pitch black and sort of.. wavy, I guess. It wasn't fixed right though. I always kept it flipped to the left, so it was hard to tell that it was wavy. It covered my ears but that was as far as it went. And it framed my eyes perfectly. I had a perfectly straight nose, defined cheekbones. I was kind of angular. I had a few freckles, perfectly straight and white teeth, and deep blue eyes. People always told me that that was my most memorable feature.
"Without help, I, Alex, got into my chair for the first time." I smiled a ghost of a half smile at my reflection. I was about to turn when the light caught something I hadn't seen. On the left side of my face, the side where the trucker hit me, there was a thin line extending from my hairline to about the halfway point on my left cheek. "Oh COME ON!" First the chair, now scars. Just perfect. Now I'm gonna be obsessing about that. I sighed, turned, and wheeled to the door.
I turned the handle and rolled into the hallway. Wonder where everyone is. Hmm. I saw a doctor turn the corner down the hall. "Wait up!" I began rolling myself down the hall as fast as I could. I let go of the wheels and let myself float the rest of the hall. When I turned the corner the doctor was still walking down the hall. "Hey! Slow down for a sec." I pushed myself forward again, trying to catch up to the doctor. He still didn't stop. "YOU IN THE SCRUBS!!" I yelled down the hall. The doctor jerked and looked around, spotting me down the hall.
"Oh." He said before walking back down the hall. "I'm sorry. Do you need directions?"
"No. I'm looking for Dr. Morrison. Sound familiar?"
"Uhm, let's see...." He checked his watch. "It's his lunch break."
"Does he eat lunch at the hospital?"
"Depends on the day and his mood. You can go down and check if you like."
"Thanks." I turned around. Then turned back around. "Elevator?"
"Oh. It's all the way down this hallway, take a left, and halfway down that hallway there's an area to your right with all of the elevators."
"Thanks again." I started down the hall. Lunch would explain why there wasn't anyone in my room. I found the elevators and got in one. I hit the down button. I was on the third floor. When the elevator dinged on the bottom floor, I saw a family standing there. They backed up so I could get out. "Excuse me." I said to them as I passed by. One of the little ones stared at me all the way up to when the door closed. Get used to that too, I guess. I found a sign that said, Cafeteria ->. I rolled down that hall to find that the doors there opened automatically. I went into the room. There were quite a few doctors. (Probably like 45% of the people there were doctors.) I stopped next to a table of doctors and asked them where I could find Dr. Morrison.
"Hmm.. Aha! See that table by window in the corner?"
I turned. "Thanks."
"Anytime, man. I'm Dr. Graves." He held out his hand.
"Alex Michaels" I shook it.
"This is Dr. Richards, Dr. Rae, and Dr. Grimm." Dr. Graves was a younger looking guy with blonde hair and blue eyes. Except for the eyes, he was a lot like the doctor from Twilight. Dr. Rae was a black haired, green eyed beauty with pale skin and a dazzling smile. Think, super model. Dr. Richards was older, probably forties, who looked like he worked out a lot, had graying black hair and brown eyes. Dr. Grimm was short and stocky with no hair and hazel eyes. I shook each of their hands. "So, what are you in for?" Dr. Graves asked.
"I was in a car accident a couple months ago." I looked down at my feet for a few seconds. "I've been unconcious since then, but I managed to haul myself into the chair to get down here to find Dr. Morrison." I dropped the hint and hoped he took it.
"Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. You must need to see him." YES! "We'll probably have the chance to talk later."
"See ya." I turned away and went down the aisles. "Dr. Morrison!" I called as I got closer. He turned around and did a double take when he saw me.
"What the hell do you think your doing here? Do you realize what kind of danger you put yourself in to get here?"
"Well, I'm fine." My eyes flashed down again for just a second. "More or less."
"Why didn't you just use the call button in your room to get a nurse to come and get me?"
"I needed out of the room. Besides,I'd hate myself if I started getting lazy. Anyway, I'm here now, so it doesn't matter."
"You know, most people would love the chance to be lazy." I liked this doctor. He seemed really laid back. So did the others that I talked to.
"Do you know where my family got off to? And how long am I going to have to stay in the hospital?"
"I believe your family went to Taco Bell to get some food. I think they were going to bring you back something. And as to when you can leave... We still have a few more tests to run and we've got to make sure your physically able. But after we're done with that you're home free." He smiled. "Getting cabin fever?"
"Ready to get back to school. The hospital is alright and everything, but it's sort of depressing."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. Speaking of depressing, are you okay? Feeling alright? No mood changes or loss of interest, fatigue, or.."
"Thoughts of suicide?" I finished that sentence. I laughed a little. "Don't worry, Doc. I'm not nearly THAT low. You sound like a anti-depressant commercial."
"You would be surprised how much I hear what you just said from patients who wind up in the obituaries a week later. It's just a reassurance. As your doctor, I'm supposed to ask you these things. And your supposed to answer them honestly."
"Well no, I haven't felt anything like that. I'm not depressed."
"Good. Any pain in your back or neck?"
"When I passed out the first time, after I talked to Johnny, I felt my neck twinge, right before I passed out."
"Okay. Since then?"
"Nope. Not a thing."
"Have you been able to move your muscles at all? Below your waist?"
"I didn't think I could. Though, no, I haven't felt any movement."
"Okay. I already told your mom about this. I wasn't going to tell you about it right away because I didn't want you to get your hopes up. The damage to your spine is extensive, however, since you only suffered an incomplete spinal cord injury..... It is possible, however unlikely, that you could walk again." He seemed to stop to let this sink in.
"Walk..." My eyes traveled down to look at my feet, which were cold and bare, by the way. "I could... could walk." It's amazing how much something as simple and as everyday as walking can shake you to your core. My hands gripped the wheelchair like I was hanging on for dear life. Don't get your hopes up. It was pure luck that you are able to do as much as you are doing. To be able to walk would be a miracle... "And I don't believe in miracles." I didn't realize that I'd said that out loud until the doctor said,
"They do happen you know."
"They USED to happen. Nothing good happens in this day and age, as I have been shown firsthand."
"Miracles can still happen. You just have to be willing to pursue them."
"Doc... I'm not gonna' play your game. I was getting over it. I was coping with it. Now you come and ruin it."
"You came to me. I am trying to help you.
"No. Look, I'm not retarded. I know that the chances of me walking again are not exactly the best in the world. What are they, like, one-in-a-million? Don't make things worse by 'trying' to help."
"Just, think about it. It's optional, of course, but if you change your mind, just contact me and I'll get you into physical therapy."
"My parents are probably back by now." I turned and went out of the cafeteria. I pressed the up button on the elevator and got in. I punched the number '3'. It was as the doors were closing that I caught a glimpse of them. Devin, Charlie, Haley, Zack, and Eli were all coming through the doors of the hospital. Haley just so happened to look up, right as I looked at her. Our eyes met. The door shut. I punched the door open button. They were already halfway here.
They all froze where they were. I rolled forward so I was out of the elevator. Almost simultaneously their eyes traveled downward. Whether or not they knew this was permanent, I didn't know yet.
"ALEX!" Haley yelled and her face blew up with happiness. Suddenly she came sprinting over and bent over and practically broke some other part of my back when she hugged me. "We haven't heard from you. We thought you'd never wake up!" Same old Haley.
"Takes more than this to get rid of me." I said. The remaining group came over. Every single one of them looked like a six year old who'd been told that Christmas had come early.
"Hey man. I missed you." Devin said as he leaned down and picked me up with a big ole' bear hug. "What you been up to?" He asked as he set me back down. I didn't want to in front of them, but I grabbed my left leg and fixed it back in place on the chair. Then I did the same with my right leg. They sort of, looked away. I could see sadness in all of their eyes, coupled with a hint of confirmation. They must have already known.
Charlie kneeled down in front of me. She put her right hand on my left shoulder.
"I'm so sorry Alex." She looked at me, tears in her eyes.
I just looked at her. "It'll be alright." She was actually crying now. "We all just play the hand we're dealt. Apparently I was dealt a handicap." I laughed a little half-heartedly.
"Dude..." Zack said. "I'm sorry man." He looked like he wanted to hug me or something, but Zack was never very touchy-feely, as he called it.
"For what?" I was at least glad to say that I didn't cry again. "You didn't do anything. It's not your fault. It's not any of your fault's."
"Do you remember anything?" Devin asked.
"Devin! Jeez!" Eli half-whispered to Devin. As though I can't hear him.
"What?! What'd I do?" He said back, much louder.
"Your not supposed to ask about stuff like that! I doubt he would want to remember." Eli was still whispering.
"It's alright, Eli. It's a reasonable question. Facing the reality of a situation always makes us stronger."
"Everyones strength has limits, Alex."
"I remember being at the gas station. I remember the car rolling..." I got a faraway look in my eyes. "I remember the MACK truck."
Devin and Zack made one of those impulsive ouch noises. Like if you've ever seen one of those tv shows where people do really stupid shit and land on their nuts, that noise you make when that happens.
"That would hurt like hell." Zack said, still really uncomfortable.
"Actually, I didn't feel much of anything.... Until later." I remembered where we were so I said, "How bout' we head up to my room. We can talk there." I turned around and got into the elevator. The others were right behind me. As the elevator started going up I couldn't help but think that I was beginning to regret my wish to see my friends....
I am sorry about the screw-up with the realism of the story so far and I hope I fixed most of the errors.
I think I did a pretty good job with the story so far. I'm interested in hearing your opinions. R&R to johnmeyerz36@yahoo.com. Other stories include: My St. Patrick.