DISCLAIMER: The following story is completely FICTIONAL is does not imply anything concerning the private life of Paul walker or Josh Hartnett. I don't know them and I don't know anything about their lives. This story is only meant as fiction and does in no way describe real occurrences, situations or facts. All other persons mentioned in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to an existing person, company or business is totally coincidental.
Author's note: Just want to stress again that this story is complete fiction. In this chapter there's some talk about their families and childhood. That's all made up ok. I have no idea what their real lives look like so please keep that in mind. For the rest: Enjoy chapter 11 and please let me know what you think ok? I'm sorry it took so long for me too finish this chapter but I really didn't felt up to the task of writing it down, that's over now though so we're rolling again...All I want to give away right now is that this story has a few turns in store you won't expect. stay tuned: definitely more to come.
Chapter 11:
The air was becoming quite frisk as the last rays of sunlight disappeared behind the roofs. Both guys turned up the collar of their coat. The winter was as good as gone but when the sun had sank there still was a chill in the air. Josh and Paul were walking quietly along the streets of Paul's old neighbourhood. It seemed as if all life had faded simultaneously with the sunlight. the bicycles, footballs and jumping-ropes left on different front lawns reminded any spectator that the streets would be filled with life again the next day. Josh got the impression Paul was specifically going somewhere. When he had suggested going for a walk, earlier that evening, Josh thought they were just going to take a tour around the block. Now it seemed Paul had a destination in mind.
As they were walking Paul would occasionally look over at Josh. He couldn't help but noticing Josh looked quite cute in the orange light beaming from the street lights. Just looking at Josh gave him a warm feeling inside. A feeling that was only fortified by the contrasting cold in the air. It was hard to describe his feelings, even to himself. "Safety" was a word that would often cross his mind. For the first time in his life he felt completely safe, like nothing could happen. Like nothing could touch him. It was a sensation he cherished every second. Josh meanwhile had noticed Paul glancing over.
"what?" he asked Paul
"Nothing..." Paul replied "...You know I love you right?"
"sure I do" Josh answered. he was a bit surprised. Paul was usually not this direct when it came to feelings. He asked Paul about it.
Truth was Paul had no idea why he just said that. He meant it, sure. But why he said it right then and there was a mystery even to him. It was almost as if he needed to make sure.
"I don't know why I said it" he told Josh "do you remember earlier today in the car, when you said it seems surreal how we have grown so close so fast?"
Josh nodded he did remember.
"Guess I was wondering about that as well." Paul smiled nervously.
Josh smiled as he put one arm around Paul's shoulders and pulled him closer. "I do to" he said softly.
"what do you mean?" Paul asked confused.
"I love you to" Josh whispered.
...
In the meantime, back at the house, Paul's parents where sitting in the sofa in front of the TV. Mary-Ann had just made the both of them a cup of coffee which they were enjoying right now.
"So what do you think of Josh?" Mary-Ann asked her husband.
"he seems a very nice guy" Tom answered.
"Doesn't he" Mary-Ann agreed. "And I've never seen Paul more happy than today."
"It's good to see him up and about again..." Tom nodded.
"Thank God for that" Mary-Ann spoke softly. "I don't think I'll ever forget that day."
"Those were the scariest moments of our lives" Tom said, "but they're behind us now."
They both drifted of in their own thoughts. Mary-Ann thought about what they had just said. She could tell Paul was incredibly happy and that was something she was very thankful for. She could see the love that was so obviously there in their eyes. She was happy that Paul had finally found someone. He deserved to be happy. But there was something that concerned her. She knew about the pain Paul carried with him, but today at the dinner table she had noticed the same thing about Josh. There was something about him that led her to believe his life hadn't been easy neither. She knew that there would come a time when they would both have to deal with that...She hoped both boys would be able to handle it when that time would come. If their love was real, and she was sure it was, she was confident they would be, but it wouldn't be easy.
...
"Tom...wake up Tom!" Mary-Ann had just burst into the room and was screaming almost hysterically at her husband.
"what's going on?" Tom asked confused while he sat up in the bed.
"Paul is gone!" Mary-Ann spoke in a loud and worried voice.
"What do you mean...gone?" Tom didn't understand what his wife was saying to him since the sleep hadn't completely gone away.
"He's not in his room!" Mary-Ann replied, trying to control her panic.
"So?...Maybe he's in the cantina of the hotel, or out for a morning walk." Tom said calmly, still not sure why his wife was acting so excited.
"No...He isn't...the receptionist at the desk said he checked out late last night" Mary-Ann said.
Now Tom was beginning to worry to. It wasn't like Paul at all to just leave without saying something. And if what his wife said was true he had been gone all night. In no time he got up and dressed.
"come with me!" he said to his wife.
they left their hotel-room and walked to the front desk.
"Your Spanish is better" tom said to his wife, "ask for the key of Paul's room."
After explaining the situation to the receptionist they got the key to Paul's room. Tom opened the door and looked around. Everything seemed normal. Paul's suitcase was still on the floor. There were some clothes scattered on the furniture...then something caught his attention. He walked to the bed and picked up the small white envelop that was lying on Paul's pillow. He quickly opened it and read the note that was inside. As he read the line that was written there his eyes grew big. Without saying a word he passed the note to his wife. She gasped as she read...
"I'm sorry!"
...
The evening walk had brought Paul and Josh to the bleachers of a small little-league field. While the wind carried the last remains of the summer heat with it's breath the sat down overlooking the abandoned field. The night was cooling down rapidly signifying winter was around the corner. They sat close together shielded from the cold by their coats and each-other. For a while nothing was said. Being in each-others company was enough for both guys who were still amazed by the change their life had underwent in such a short amount of time. It felt as if they were long lost friends who had found ach- other, when they had only known each-other for a couple of weeks. It was a feeling that was both assuring and confusing.
"I don't think I've ever seen the moon that big" Josh said as he overlooked the field. Above, in the sky was a huge moon radiating in a warm orange glow, looking down on them.
Paul had noticed too. He had seen a similar moon once. So big and present you almost felt dwarfed by it. Only it had been grey then, now it was orange, almost brown. Then it had been threatening, now it seemed to smile at him. "Strange" he mumbled.
"What?" Josh asked.
"Nothing" Paul replied as he nodded to the sky "the moon...it looks strange"
He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket and lit it. As he exhaled the smoke he continued "How can it look so big at one time, and so insignificant at another?"
"It's an illusion" Josh answered, while examining the moon with his eyes.
"how do you mean?" Paul asked.
"Because it is so low, you see it together with roof tops, trees and so on...it distorts your sense of proportion. The moon hasn't grown, your brain just can't put it in perspective." Josh explained.
"Interesting" Paul said. "So it's not the moon that looks big,...it's everything around it that makes it look big?"
"exactly" Josh smiled, "you catch on quickly."
"Well mr. scientist..." Paul said, as he threw the cigarette but on the grass "I think it's about time we head back home."
As they left the bleachers the were waved off by the rasps of a stately raven sitting on top of a streetlight near the field. The orange light threw the bird's shadow on the road. the bird quickly cleaned it's feathers with it's beak before it flew of into the nightly shore, leaving the field completely abandoned for the night.
...
When they entered the house Paul's parents had already gone to bed. Paul quickly put some light back on before he hung their coats in the closet. They made their way to the living room and sat down in the couch in front of the TV. Paul was switching the channels to see if anything interesting was on this late. When he couldn't find anything immediately he switched to CMT and sat back in the sofa. He quickly sat up again and asked Josh if he wanted anything to drink. After he had returned with two beers he sat down again .
"what time tomorrow are we going to head back for NY?" Josh asked.
"somewhere in the afternoon" Paul answered. "It's quite a drive and I don't want to be on the road too late."
"Just one more week of filming and our job is done" Josh sighed.
"Yeah...It's gone fast." Paul agreed. "Thank god we didn't have to go to I don't know how many different locations for this one."
"I know..." Josh agreed. "only six weeks to complete filming, I've seen it take a whole lot longer."
"But the days we pulled were long!" Paul added. "fifteen hours of non stop filming isn't something I'm used to, or can grow accustomed to for that matter."
"You're right" Josh agreed, "but it was worth it wasn't it."
"It was." Paul said. "It definitely was."
With that another silence fell. Both guys just sat there watching the TV with one eye, an each-other with the other eye. Paul felt Josh leaning against his shoulder so he adjusted himself a bit to allow Josh to lean into him. With josh laying somewhat next to him, his head on his chest Paul turned his attention back to the screen. After a while he noticed josh had fallen asleep. He smiled at the sight of Josh sleeping on his chest. It was just one of those moments that seemed insignificant but meant a lot to him. he gently ran his hand through Josh's black hair as he felt josh's rhythmic breathing against him. After about fifteen minutes Paul gently pushed Josh in the side to wake him up.
"I think we better go to bed as well." Paul whispered.
"You're probably right" Josh agreed, still half asleep.
Paul switched off the TV and both guys headed upstairs, trying not to make too much noise as to not to disturb Paul's parents who were already sleeping. Halfway through the hallway Paul suddenly stopped.
"What's wrong?" Josh asked.
Paul seemed to think for a few seconds then said: "nothing". He continued to walk towards his old room and showed Josh in. Josh was quite intrigued by the room, that hadn't changed a bit since Paul had left it behind so many years ago. There was mostly wooden furniture complementing the wooden ceiling, giving the room a very rustic atmosphere. There were two or three posters of James Dean against the wall, and one Elvis poster above the bed. The one thing that really stood out was the huge Texas state flag on the wall opposing the bed. Josh walked around a bit and looked around while Paul prepared the bed.
"Where did you get this?" Josh asked, referring to the picture frame he was holding. Inside was a signed picture of Willie Nelson.
"Oh I met him a couple of years ago after a concert." Paul explained. "Real nice guy."
"Cool" Josh said as he carefully put the picture back in its place. "This room is nice." He added
"Thanks" Paul smiled, "it's been a while since I've been in here"
"Are those yours?" Josh asked as he pointed to the Whiskey bottles standing in a rack near the window.
"Yeah, they are," Paul answered "I had forgotten all about them."
He walked over to where Josh was standing and let his eyes glide over the rack. He looked at Josh and said in a playful voice: "best companion on a lonely night".
"You need some time alone with them?" Josh said jokingly.
"well, I wasn't going to mention it, but since you asked..." Paul played along.
Both guys laughed. They soon decided to go to sleep. It was late and they had a long drive earlier so the fatigue was setting in. Paul's old bed wasn't exactly built for two persons, but the moved close to each other. Neither one, off course, minded this. "What were you thinking of just now in the hallway?" Josh asked Paul.
"Oh, it was nothing" Paul answered. "I just forgot to discuss with my folks where you would sleep. They might have thought you'd sleep in the guest-room"
"You think I shouldn't be here?" Josh asked.
"No, no,...I want you here." Paul corrected himself quickly. "I don't really expect them to have a problem with it...and I wouldn't have it any other way."
After a while both guys slowly fell asleep. Paul had put his arm around Josh, who was laying on his back, and had put his head to rest against his shoulder. Outside the wind could be heard, blowing calmly over the street. The moon continued it's voyage through the nightly sky and for a brief time,...it seemed as if the world turned slower, just to make the night last a little longer.
...
Josh awoke when the first rays of sunlight fell on his face through the window. It took him a few seconds to realize where he was. A smile appeared on his face when he noticed Paul, who was still asleep, lying on his chest. He felt Paul's rhythmic breathing on his body which was a quite warming feeling. He slowly put has arm firmer around Paul, rubbing his index slowly across Paul's upper arm. He could have just laid there for the entire day if it was up to him. There's no way to describe the feeling of waking up next to someone you love, unless you lived it. Josh could look through the window from where he was laying and saw it was another beautiful day outside. The sun was beginning to dry up the last remains of clouds that were still in the sky.
After a while Josh decided to get up. He very slowly made his way out of bed. careful not to disturb Paul who was still sleeping. Josh silently put his clothes on and left the room. As a walked through the door he looked back at Paul and smiled when he saw the boy laying there so peacefully.
He quietly made his way downstairs. It seemed everyone was still asleep. The drapes were still closed and the living room was empty. Josh opened the curtains to let the sunlight in. He walked in the kitchen looking for the coffee machine. He didn't think anyone would mind if he already made some coffee so after a few minutes the machine was bubbling and within fifteen minutes Josh was back in the living room enjoying a cup of strong coffee. Since no-one else was up yet he decided to watch some TV. He flipped through the channels till he found CMT, then put the remote back on the table. He spent the next fifteen minutes flipping through a magazine that he had found laying on the table, and listening with one ear to the music playing on the TV. Suddenly his attention was drawn to the video that was playing on TV. He didn't recognise the song but the subtitles said it was by an artist named `Blaine Larsen'...At first Josh's attention focussed more on the singer, who he thought was very cute, but then the lyrics of the song caught his attention.
"It was just another story written on the second page Underneath the Tiger's football score It said he was only eighteen, a boy about my age They found him face down on his bedroom floor
There'll be services on Friday at the Lawrence Funeral Home Then out on Mooresville highway, they'll lay him 'neath a stone...
How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad To make you make the call, that havin' no life at all Is better than the life that you had How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go How do you get that lonely... and nobody knows"
Josh was taken aback by the lyrics of the song. It triggered something inside of him he couldn't control. A single tear rolled from his eye as the song continued to play. He tried to reach for the remote, his eyes still fixed on the Television set. After a few seconds his fingers touched the remote. he quickly grabbed it and turned of the TV. It took him some time to recollect himself.
"It wasn't my fault"...he mumbled to himself. "I didn't know."
"Didn't know what?" He heard a voice say behind him.
He looked around to see who was there. In the doorway was Paul's mother who had just gotten up.
"Oh,...nothing" Josh answered her question. "I was just thinking about this scene Me and Paul shot last week...guess I was saying the dialogue out loud." He lied..."I didn't wake you I hope?" He asked.
"No...No..." Mary-Ann smiled, the alarm clock did.
"I hope you don't mind I made some coffee earlier?" Josh asked her.
"Oh no," She smiled "I think I'm going to get me a cup as well...Paul still sleeping?"
"Yeah...he's still asleep." Josh answered.
"You want some breakfast?" She asked him.
"no thanks,...I'm good" he said as he pointed to the cup of coffee he was holding.
"what's with you kids these days" Mary-Ann said half joking, half serious, "you kids never have breakfast anymore."
"I don't know about others" Josh tried to answer," but my days rarely are very structured...there's a lot of chaos that comes with our job...so I'm usually not that hungry in the morning."
When Paul's mother had prepared breakfast for her and her husband, who would be up in a little while, they sat down at the kitchen table, enjoying their coffee and talking a bit.
...
Back in New York the sun had also brightened up a dusty and deteriorated hotel room. She had been up long before the sun. On the table before her two candles were burning. A black one and a purple one. The odour the omitted was absolutely ghastly...like that of rotten fruit. In between the two candles was a copper bowl filled with water. Out of a leather bag she carried on her hip she pulled some dried weeds. She used her hands to grind them to powder above the bowl. After she had done this she reached for a small purple velvet bag on the other end of the table. It contained the bones of some small animal. She held them above the bowl with both hands. Slowly she let them fall in the water. She carefully studied how the bones sank into the bowl, observed where they landed and how they fell in relation to each-other. She stared at the bones, at the bottom of the bowl, for a good ten minutes before she whispered..."so, he's left town...good...but time is running out, running out fast."
...
"So you used to live in Australia?"
Josh looked up at Paul's mother. He had been day-dreaming a bit so it took a few moments before he was back at reality.
"Yeah, a long time ago...Used to live there with my aunt and uncle for a few years. " he answered.
"How did that come about?" Mary-Ann asked quite interested.
"Well..." Josh answered in-between two sips of coffee, "My father is in the military, and he was stationed there for a while, but when he was re-located to Germany, they decided it was best for me to stay there to finish school."
"and your aunt and uncle?" Mary-Ann asked a bit confused.
"Army..." Josh answered while swallowing another sip of coffee. "It's a family tradition sort of speak, we all join the army." then he fell silent for a moment. "except me that is."
"Your parents weren't too happy with that?" Mary-Ann asked, while she could already guess the answer.
"Not exactly..." Josh sighed "I'm sort of the family disappointment that way. But they came around a bit after they saw I was doing alright for myself in the acting business."
"Do they know about..." Mary-Ann started to ask.
"Oh no!" Josh interrupted her..."They are definitely not ready for that yet!"
A short silence fell. Both took a few seconds to let the conversation sink in.
"So what was Australia like?" Mary-Ann asked in an attempt to brighten up the conversation.
"Oh it's amazing" josh said enthusiastically, "It's the most beautiful country...The nature and the wildlife are just amazing...and it has the most beautiful deserts...I can't even begin to describe it, unless you've ever seen it...Have you ever seen a desert?"
Mary-Ann was taken aback by the unexpected question. She seemed to struggle for words a few seconds. Then her eyes fell on the doorway behind Josh. Josh turned around to see Paul standing in the door. Mary-Ann looked at Paul as if she was asking his permission. Paul quickly shook his head as to say `no'. Josh noticed there was a sudden tension in the room.
"Did I say anything wrong?" He asked, not sure what was going on.
Paul sat down next to him and quickly kissed him on the cheek. "Good morning..." He said, "no you didn't say anything wrong, I'll explain later."
Josh didn't understand what was going on. Why did a simple question like that upset Paul's mother like that. What was there to explain? He felt there was more to it...but if Paul said he would explain later, that was good enough for him.
The morning passed quickly. Too quickly maybe. After Dinner the time came for both guys to head back for NY. The goodbye took quite a while and both boys had to promise to come back soon. The sun was at his highest peak when Paul's car pulled out of the driveway. Tom and Mary-Ann stood on the front porch waving them off.
"So what did you think?" Paul asked Josh, referring to the past two days.
"Your parents are very nice people" Josh answered, "thanks for introducing me."
"sure thing" Paul smiled.
They continued driving. Before long they were on the freeway, back to NY. After about an hour Josh noticed Paul took an off ramp, leaving the freeway.
"Why are you leaving the freeway?" He asked Paul.
Paul sighed, "We need to talk" he said.
...
well that's all for chapter 11. Sorry it took such a long time to complete but I'll try my very best to keep posting new chapters more quickly from now on. Please don't hesitate to let me know what you think, my mail- address is beer4myhorses@hotmail.com
Chapter 12. will be posted soon, don't worry.
thanx for waiting.