Peace at Last

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It took Joe about two hours before he came down for his coffee.

• You should have woken me, he said.

• You looked like an angel and as I aw you almost finished the book, I guessed you would need your sleep. Besides, there is something really important that happened.

• What is that? Joe asked.

• You slept alone and the nightmares didn't appear. If they had I would have heard you screaming and your eyes would have a dark circle around them!

Joe came to the realization that indeed he had slept alone, even if it was only two hours, and had not had nightmares. The smile on his face got brighter with the second. He came over to me and hugged me and then kissed me.

You see the effect you have on me? Joe asked. There is no doubt at all that we were meant to be together. Who knows? Maybe, this is a sign from Chuck, giving us his blessing.

The fact Joe mentioned Chuck's blessing hit me full face. We had never talked about it, but we were discovering another common point: we both believed that left this world, never left us completely. Of course, they stayed in our hearts and we marveled at the capacity of the human memory. But it was more than that. We were convinced the spirit of the deceased stayed with us if their task on earth was not completely finished. We strongly believed we all had a task when we were born. Some people have a task by dying, even if it was just to make the living realize what they lost. Every living being will encounter others. Each and every person we meet has a purpose. Some have big purposes, other small ones, but all of them help us to be who we are.

Joe had finally found peace after Chuck's death. The first thing that helped him was the fact that he realized that Chuck had had no time to suffer. That grenade that landed just in front of him had not left him time nor to think neither to suffer. He was dead the moment it exploded. That idea alone helped Joe a lot. Not only Joe, but also most people around us, had seen people suffering from illnesses such as cancer, but also from other elements that can make a person suffer such as loneliness or missing someone who had gone. Joe had told me that Chuck loved the army and even if the circumstances were not always the best ones, he would do everything asked as long as he was convinced he was defending his country. All in all, Chuck had died doing something he loved. That was the second lesson Joe learned.

Joe didn't need his psychologist anymore. Bit-by-bit, our conversations helped him see things that were hidden before. When Joe needed it, I was always listening to him, without being judgmental. Joe knew that and appreciated my patience. For me it was the most natural thing, as I knew it helped him recovering a normal life. He often told me that he had the sensation Chuck was close to him, almost touching his shoulder. The first time he told me that he asked me if I thought he was crazy or weird. I told him that I didn't think so; on the contrary, I was sure Chuck was really there and probably touching him from wherever he was. When I told him that, his eyes got as big as saucers. We were soon talking about the mysteries of the spiritual world and its power.

We had the opportunity to assist some conferences and performances of mediums. Joe had that sixth sense that told him immediately it the person doing a reading or pretending to connect with the world of spirits, was fake or not. Most of the time he didn't even have to see the person. Just entering the premises he felt the presence of spirits or not. Sometimes it was weird, but I learned to trust his intuition and with time he showed me his intuition never failed him.

Chuck's blessing! I liked the idea and crossed my fingers that Joe was right. I had fallen in love with Joe quite quickly, even if it had taken months. From that moment on I learned to know Joe and even if it sounds a clichŽ, I loved him more every day. From the day Joe had mentioned Chuck's blessing, he was even more open than before. He didn't withhold anything, being it that he was happy or sad. Joe became my "psychologist" pushing me (softly) to open up and tell him what I felt or experienced. With each conversation we came closer to each other. We vowed to never have secrets for each other, and sometimes it was difficult, most of all when I wanted to surprise him with something.

After months of assiduous searches, we found an editor and publisher of Chris' books. We had presented the two books about the gardening first. The guy was even more enthusiastic than us. He even suggested publishing it with the original handwritten form, not typing it. Well, not exactly, as they created a font based on Chris' handwriting. Once it was printed, it was difficult to make the difference. All of John's drawings were scanned in high resolution and reproduced, respecting the original book. The final name was "Grandpa's Gardening". The first print was ten thousand copies. Believe it or not, but the second print was effective only a month later and was increased to twenty thousand copies. At the end of the first six months, over fifty thousand copies had been sold. Our editor, Brad, was insisting on having more books and create a series of "Grandpa's ...". When we showed him the six books of cooking, he went wild! The layout of Grandpa's Gardening was held, as was the cover, the font and the scanned drawings. The six books would be sold as a package, in a nice cardboard box. "Grandpa's Cuisine" went into printing and fifty thousand was the first amount of copies. The marketing specialist of the publisher would have preferred "Grandma's Cuisine" but Brad insisted that a man wrote the books and that it had to be respected. He also argued that most of the big chefs in the world were men. "Grandpa's Cuisine" reached incredible figures and was in the Top10 list of most bookstores.

At the moment of paying the royalties, I had to prove I was the only heir of Chris and John. Fortunately I had kept their will, because otherwise I would have had a problem. I had kept my personal bank account and Joe his, but we had put up a joined account for our daily costs. I asked the publisher to transfer the money to our joined account so that Joe could equally enjoy the extra money coming in.

Joe got the notification that he was officially on sick leave till his time was over in the army. That day, his sick leave would be converted in his retirement. It was obvious that from then on, together with the profits of the books, we were financially secure. We had not to worry about our future. But the most important part was that Joe slept well. The nightmares disappeared completely. But the past, even you can't change it anymore, sometimes keeps following you. Joe got a call from Chuck's mother. How she got his number was a mystery to him, but despite of that, he was happy to hear her. The poor woman had lost her only son in Iraq and her husband dies of natural cause. That made her feel very lonely and she had decided to sell her house and go to live in service flats. As he went through all her things, because the service flat was a lot smaller than her house, she had found some of Chuck's belongings. One of the things was an old picture from the day Joe and Chuck left for Iraq. That brought too many bad memories to her but she wanted to know if Joe wanted the picture. She would send it to him. Joe gave her the address and wished her well before hanging up the phone.

A few days later the picture arrived by post. Chuck's mother was not familiarized with computers, scanners and e-mail. When Joe had the envelope in his hands, I saw his hesitation to open it.

• Nobody obliges you to open the envelope right now Joe, I said, you have time and I would really like that you feel ready for it. Chuck has been an important person in your life, but you also know that it could bring back bad memories. Despite of that, I think it would be good for you to see Chuck, as he was, not the last image you got of him. His mother told you it was taken before you flew out to Iraq, so I guess it will be a smiling face.

Joe was hesitating a few minutes more but then opened the envelope and took out the picture. He had a smile on his face looking at it. I guess I was expecting tears or sadness, but not at all! He showed me the picture and it was indeed beautiful. Both were wearing their battle dress and had wicked grins on their faces. Yes, they were still thinking that they would go and give those SOBs a hell of a time. They looked confident and even happy. I immediately thought of framing that picture and put it on the mantle piece below the picture of Chris and John. Joe thought it was a good idea when I mentioned it. We bought a simple wooden frame, similar to the frame of Chris and John's poster, and put the picture in its place. The first days following that, I could see Joe looking at the picture, deep in thoughts.

• You can't imagine how much I would like to have a last conversation with Chuck, Joe said one morning. There wouldn't be a lot to say, but just getting the confirmation he was not in pain and assuring him that I loved him deeply. It would mean the world to me hearing him say he gives me his blessing for our relationship.

We had seen various programs on television and assisted to enough conferences to know there were people pretending they could communicate with people that had died. I suggested Joe to do a search on the Internet and see if he could come up with something. As he had his sixth sense about those people, he would very quickly know if what he found would be valuable or not. From that moment on, Joe was glued to the computer screen. Hours in a row he would search the Net and check out hundreds of Webpages of people pretending to be able to communicate with the spirits. Most of these pages were discarded almost immediately, but one in particular got all of his attention. He called me over to where he was sitting and was excited like a kid who had found the perfect toy.

• This page, he said, and the picture of that woman, are giving me good vibrations. I don't know why, but my intuition tells me she is for real and has real contact with spirits. When I opened the page and started reading, I felt Chuck's hand on my shoulder once again although it has been a very long time since I last felt it.

On that page there was a tab allowing people to contact the woman. Joe immediately wrote a short e- mail, asking to see her at the most convenient time for her. He didn't mention Chuck. He didn't mention the way he died and not even his relationship to him. He just asked for an appointment.

Two days later he received an answer, telling him that she actually lived in England and that, if it was convenient for him, she was expecting him the next Friday at two in the afternoon. She mentioned that she couldn't guarantee any contact, but that she would do her very best. If there was no contact at all, she wasn't expecting him to pay anything. She also mentioned that her fees were what people were prepared to give her or what they could afford.

We traveled on the Thursday to London Heathrow. From there we took a taxi to a hotel that was close to the woman's address. We checked in and went to bed early. Joe wanted to be fully rested for this encounter. Although Joe was one nervous wreck, he slept well. I didn't! I was so concerned about Joe and wondered if this whole trip was worth it. What would happen if in the end the woman was a fake? What would happen if there was no contact at all? Would Joe be able to accept it? Would his disappointment bring back the nightmares? I was worried sick for him. I loved him so much.

We were awake and up early. We had a good breakfast, as Joe wanted to be in top form. We even went for a run to get rid of the nerves. We ran about half an hour more than what we were used to. Once back in our hotel room, we showered together, but Joe was not in the mood for any games. We just washed each other and than dried each other off. Joe looked about a hundred times to his watch. In normal circumstances, time flew by, but now it was as if time stood still. Around one Joe wanted us to go already. From what I had seen on the map, a taxi would bring us to the woman's house in less than ten minutes. I begged him to have a little more patience.

At two minutes to two, we rang the woman's bell. She opened herself. We recognized her immediately, as we had seen her picture on her Webpage. We were asked to come in and led to her living room. We had expected to be received in a special room or an office of any kind, but she said that was not necessary. She felt comfortable in her own space and didn't mind to receive people in it.

The first thing that she did was asking Joe to put his hands in her. She rubbed his hands for a while and was apparently concentrating. After that she sat comfortably in her easy chair and started talking.

• There is a young man coming forward, but I can't see his face. He says hello to both of you, although he has never met you (pointing to me). He says he is fine and that his going away was quick and painless. He chuckles and says it took him by surprise. He is happy to see you are fine now and was so sad to see you suffering. He was not responsible for your nightmares. He says you did it to yourself, as you didn't want to let him go. He was with you all of that time because you held him close. He was called several times to let go of your hand, but you held it. He says the angels helped him to make you meet your friend here. It was only then that he could walk towards the light.

Joe's eyes were moist. There was no doubt that woman was in contact with Chuck. She went on.

• He asks why you haven't even looked at the back of the picture his mother sent you. There was a message for you there. By the way, he loves the frame. He says he will watch over both of you. You need each other more than you can imagine. You are meant to be together as it was the work of the angels. The love you feel for each other is heavenly made and nobody will be able to destroy it. Oh... I can see his face now and he has a bright smile on it. He wishes you a safe trip back. He will never forget you because you were his first and only love, but he wants you to live to the fullest. For him it was a short passage among the living, but he knows now that his task was to make you discover who and what you are. He is standing right behind you know. His hand is on your shoulder.

Joe instinctively reached his shoulder as if he was actually feeling Chuck's hand again.

• He laughs! He says you have felt him before when he touched you. He wants you to know that he will do it again and it will be a sign of protection. He wants you to be happy and says that you will if you stop being stubborn and finally open the box you keep hiding for everybody. There are a few things in there that will bring back good memories. He blows kisses at both of you and gives you his blessing...

The woman suddenly kept silent.

• He is gone now. He was surrounded by a reddish light, which confirms to me that he loved you very much. I would even say you are fortunate to have had him in your life. Don't mourn his death, but celebrate his life.

Joe had a single tear rolling down his cheek, but a happy smile on his face. From all Joe had told me, I knew that that woman had really been in contact with Chuck. There was no doubt about that. She then stood up and made us understand the session as over. It had been quite short, but so intense. Joe was calm and even serene. Joe had prepared an envelope with money and gave it to her. She didn't even open it in our presence.

Once we were out of her house, Joe took me in his arms and kissed me passionately. We didn't care if anybody saw us. Nobody knew us here anyway. We walked back to the hotel as the weather was nice and the temperature pleasant. I didn't say anything. I wanted Joe to assimilate what had happened in that woman's living room. He had received the answers he was waiting for. He had not had the possibility to have a real conversation with Chuck, but he was at peace. Walking down the street, Joe took my hand in his and our fingers intertwined. I had that good sensation that he wanted the world to know we were together.

We enjoyed a nice pint of English lager on a terrace, bathed in the afternoon sun. We did some window shopping and had a nice meal in a Thai restaurant. Before going back to the hotel, we had a last drink in a nice gay club in Soho. We didn't want to make it too late as we had our flight the next morning at eleven. Reaching the hotel, we went up to our room and took a relaxing shower. In the shower, with the water cascading over us, Joe let his hands roam over my body. I took his face in my hands and kissed him sensually. Our tongues danced in our mouths and announced some very soft and tender lovemaking. Once dried, we slipped between the sheets and resumed our kissing and caressing. The fact Joe had received Chuck's blessing was immediately noticeable. His kisses were more passionate, his body was more relaxed and his lovemaking was more determined. I was overjoyed. His lovemaking meant so much to me because it made transpire his general mood. The way he showed his tenderness was spectacular. He made me feel the most special person in the world. The way he did it I was convinced I was. And he was for me. Chuck's message was as clear as crystal water: our love had been created in heaven, by the angels. No human being could ever destroy it. I believed those words, because Joe showed it to me in every kiss, in every caress. For the first time in all the time we knew each other, we came simultaneously, experiencing an orgasm as if it was the very first one: powerful and intense. When I turned to spoon Joe, my cock found its way in his crack. It was still hard enough, although I had climaxed, to enter him. Joe pushed his hips back into my crotch as to feel my cock as deep as was possible. That was how we fell asleep, content and satisfied.

In the morning we made our bags and checked-out. We had some time for a quick breakfast and going to the airport. We went to check-in our bags and saw a strange look on the face of the girl behind the counter. She was babbling to herself more than to us, but we intercepted words like "sorry" and "overbooking". Suddenly Joe whispered in my ear.

• Don't worry! Chuck is touching me.

And that's when a supervisor of some kind came to stand next to the girl, looked at the computer screen and was apparently looking for a solution, when a smile adorned her face and she addressed us in a friendly way.

• Sorry gentlemen, we are facing an overbooking, but we found a solution that I am sure you will appreciate. You will be upgraded to first class.

I looked at Joe who was smiling broadly. Spending the complete flight in first class instead of economic was something we would not argue about! We were handed our boarding passes and were even invited to use the facilities provided to first class passengers. As soon as we were seated in the plane, a flight attendant offered us a glass of Champagne telling us to not hesitate if we needed anything, winking at us as if to say he knew we were a couple.

We had the most cool and relaxed flight ever. We marveled at the leg space we had, compared to what we had in economy class. We were served a warm meal! It was not yet "Haute Cuisine" but it was very good and even better because it was served in china and not a plastic tray. Except when the food was served, we held hands the entire flight. Our connection was getting even stronger than before.

Arriving home, Vivian was, of course, waiting for us. She looked at us before we had said a thing.

That trip was really worth it, she said, even if I don't know how it went. I can see you are both a lot happier now!

We invited her to have a drink with us in the living room and told her what had happened. She was sincerely happy for us and we could see it on her face. It all felt so right. Joe took the picture on the mantle piece and took it out of its frame. He turned it around and read:

"You are my best friend and whatever happens, I will always be with you. Live your life!"

Valentine's Day 2015. Joe and I are now almost fifteen years together. I can't tell you how happy we have been. We were blessed with a wonderful life. Joe is now officially retired from the army. Our books are selling like cupcakes. Vivian is still with us and looks after us like a real mother. We redecorated the house and followed Chris' example, writing a notebook about everything we did. Joe followed some lessons about drawing and his professors said he has real talent. He's taken over John's part of the work, illustrating the new book: "Grandpa's Decorating". Joe made me read Chris' book about the sexual activities. It didn't teach me a lot of new things, but one thing was the main idea of the book: when you make love, do it with all your heart or don't do it.

All comments welcome at amahy1957@gmail.com