Disclaimer:
All rights reserved. No part of this story may be reproduced or transmitted by any means, except for reviews, without the written permission of the author. You must be a minimum of 18 years of age (or 21 years of age in some jurisdictions) to read this story. If you do not agree to any of these terms and conditions, or if you live in a location where such content may not be legal for you to read, please read no further, but rather exercise your right to select an alternate form of entertainment elsewhere. This story contains homoerotic subject matter and episodes of social aggression often called "bullying". The author does not endorse this kind of behavior. While inspired by real world events, remember that this is a work of fiction, and the author insists that you do not attempt to re-reenact or recreate any event or activity described in the text of this or other chapters. The story has been written for entertainment purposes for adults only. Please remember that ordinary human decency as well as maturity requires good judgment, safe sex, and the ability to distinguish between fantasies expressed in literary fiction and reality. Your actions may have consequences for others. It is your own responsibility to adhere to these terms.
Juvenile sexual aggression has been a problem of growing concern in American society over the past decade. Currently it is estimated that juveniles account for up to one-fifth of the rapes, and one-half of the cases of child molestation committed in the United States each year. The majority of cases of juvenile sexual aggression appear to involve adolescent male perpetrators. Many adolescent sex offenders grow up in abusive families where alcoholism, substance abuse, and inter-parental violence are commonplace. One study found that 60% of abusers had been physically abused, 50% had been sexually abused, and 70% had experienced neglect in childhood. Over 50% of the adolescents had experienced a combination of these forms of abuse.
Thanks to all who contacted me. I have heard from many of you so far. It is great to hear from you, and to hear your suggestions. Comments on the story are appreciated and may be addressed to the author at: dreamcat_dave@yahoo.com
CHAPTER 22: COMING OUT
Billy stopped at a red light, two cars in front of him. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the song on the radio, as she waited for the light to change. After a few minutes, the light went green, and Billy was once again, headed for home. He reached down to pick up his soda, brushing his hand across something. He looked down and noticed it was Pee Wee's sweatshirt. He had stopped off at Pee Wee's house on his way home from his Aunt Ruthie's house and picked up a few of his things for him.
Billy hadn't been able to get Pee Wee out of him mind since last night. This of course had gotten him thinking about the night before and the blood quickly rushed to his cock. He unzipped his jeans and freed his erect shaft from the constricting crotch of his pants. It was an old game. Billy had become quite adept at driving with his left hand.
Billy had suspected he was different since age thirteen. He had tried lying to himself for the past several years, and did his best to keep people from thinking he was homosexual, even himself, even the few guys who had sucked his dick. Nevertheless, Billy was always getting excited by other male bodies, and Pee Wee had excited him for some time, even though he had never acted on it, until the day Randy and his friends had pasted that digital shot of Pee Wee jerking off on his locker. He had gotten some of his father's supplies and managed to scrape it off the locker during the first period, before many other students had a chance to see it.
Before last night, Billy's experience fucking had been limited to one girl named Samantha. Billy still hadn't had any real experience with men besides a few jack off sessions with some buddies, and a couple of times when he had let a guy suck his dick in a restroom. And of course sucking off his older brother, but he had been pretty young when that had happened.
Last year he had been seriously dating Samantha. She didn't seem to mind that his dad was the janitor, and loved his free-swinging dick. Samantha had more to say about his big dick than about him, and even boasted about it to her friends, to his embarrassment. For a while they were constant companions. She wanted his thick shaft inside her every opportunity available to them. More often than Billy wanted to comply, if he were honest about it.
Before too long Samantha had thought that she was pregnant and she considered having an abortion, but then decided not to. She was really scared at the time and so was Billy. At last he had decided to marry her, not just because she was pregnant, but because he thought it was right thing to do. Then she found out she wasn't pregnant. Billy had never been secure when it came to sex with Samantha, even though she was wild about him, and the whole experience did some damage to their relationship. After that they sort of drifted away from one another.
Then there was last night. Sex with Pee Wee was everything that sex with Samatha was not.
Billy had lain there, trying to feign sleep as Pee Wee explored his body with his lips and fingertips. He could feel Pee Wee's warm breath against his neck, his chest, his cock. When he awoke to find Pee Wee snuggled up against him, he did everything he could to extend the moment, feeling the warmth of his body up against him, the natural movement of his body, the feel of him breathing slowly, pressing into him. Billy was lost in the events of the night before as he continued to stroke his cock as he half paid attention to the road.
His Camaro swerved across into the opposite lane a couple of times as he came. Billy normally kept a cum-sock underneath the driver's seat to shoot into, but he was so into it, and didn't get to it in time. His seed erupted all over his shirt, the steering wheel and the dashboard. He could almost hear Pee Wee moaning. The way Pee Wee groaned as Billy thrust into him intensified everything. He had never felt anything so satisfying.
Even now Billy fought against repeating "I'm not queer," over and over again. He had said it to Pee Wee, but now he wondered just who it was he was trying to convince.
From the moment he came, he suddenly started worrying about what it all meant about him. He was sure that Pee Wee wanted him though. It wasn't that. It was about finding the way across that wide gap between what he had been taught to believe about homosexuals and what he felt inside him. But what he knew today, was that he had spent most of the day hiding the erection he got nearly every time he thought about Pee Wee. This was about the fifth time he had jerked off. And Pee Wee had been in his thoughts from the moment he woke up.
"In this nasty-minded world, you're either a straight boy or somebody's faggot," he said to himself as he drove, "And Billy, you're fast on the road to becoming Peter's faggot if you don't watch yourself!"
Billy wondered if Pee Wee was feeling any better after his experience yesterday. He knew seeing himself on the news last night had been extremely hard on Pee Wee. Hopefully working at the school with his Jimmy would help Pee Wee take his mind off the unwanted attention he had received while trying to make his way naked through Santa Rosa unnoticed.
Billy turned into the driveway, parked his Camaro, and shut off the engine. He sat there for a moment and then grabbed his things and Pee Wee's sweatshirt. He knew if he left it in the car he'd forget to return it to him. He walked to the kitchen door that served as a main entrance. The only people who ever used the front door were visitors. Billy barely made it inside when the cell phone rang. It was Jimmy.
"Billy, you need to get to St. David's now." Jimmy said. He sounded serious.
"What happened?" Billy asked, still not sure what was going on.
"It's Pee Wee," Jimmy told him, "Pee Wee got beat up by some guys at school. I think he got raped. He's in pretty bad shape."
Billy fell silent. His stomach fell. It suddenly felt like someone was ripping his guts out. His eyes started to water.
"Billy, you there?" Jimmy sounded concerned.
"I'm on my way." Billy whispered. He jumped back in his Camaro and took off for St. David's Hospital in Harlingen where they had taken Pee Wee. He couldn't stop thinking about what he would do when he saw Pee Wee. The seriousness of the situation left him little room to think about all of the ramifications about how he felt about Pee Wee. Last night was more than sex, it was the best sex he had ever experienced. And the way he had been thinking about Pee Wee all day, well, he knew what that meant. It just didn't make any sense to keep lying to himself. Not now.
By this time he got to the hospital he had tears running down his face. He usually never cried, especially in public, but he didn't even care now. Pee Wee had been raped. Pee Wee had been raped and he hadn't been there to protect him, hadn't done everything he should have before. Perhaps if he had done something to stop Randy and his cronies when the whole mess started this might not have happened. By letting it happen, Billy felt like he was responsible for everything, including letting Pee Wee get raped.
At the hospital, Billy saw that Jimmy and Mark were standing talking in the waiting room. Sitting a few chairs away from them was Pee Wee's cousin Larry. Mark had never seen Billy like this. Billy didn't break down in front of anyone. He was the tough guy.
Billy walked up to them. "I can't believe this. What happened?" he asked.
Jimmy didn't want to say it. He didn't want to believe that it happened. "Pee Wee was raped. He was beaten up. Apparently Randy and his gang made good on their promise to break his balls."
Larry looked angry. It hadn't been that long since he had been at another clinic with Pee Wee after he had been assaulted by some other boys. It broke his heart that this was happening, especially in a town like Santa Rosa.
Everyone got silent. There wasn't anything to say. Shock had left them all paralyzed.
"How is he? Is he going to be okay? Please, tell me he's going to be okay." Billy asked.
"All that I know is he was beat up by a bunch of guys in the gym." Jimmy replied. "I think they raped him." He continued, looking guilty. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have left him there alone."
'Pee Wee is going to be okay,' Billy told himself. He felt himself exhale. He didn't realize that he had been holding his breath. "Can I see him?" he asked.
"The police are talking to him now. Uncle Max is in there with them." Mark said. He looked worried.
"Where's your mom?" Billy asked, "Shouldn't she be here?" It seemed to him that Francis Llewellyn was conspicuously absent from the boy's life, even when she was there.
"She's in San Antonio," Mark said, "She was visiting her brother. She never gets to go on vacation, and now she's having to cut this one short." The way he said it sounded like the exact kind of phrasing that his mother might use, "She should be back tomorrow." Mark's voice tone spoke volumes, but Billy didn't have time to read between the lines.
Billy selected a seat and sat down, fiddling with one of the arms of his chair that wiggled, very close to coming loose, and waited. Hours seemed to go by before anyone came to tell them anything. Finally, Pee Wee's Uncle Max came down from Pee Wee's room.
"Mr. Llewellyn?"
"Peter is awake. They stitched up his cuts. None of them were too deep. Most of his injuries are relatively minor. Unfortunately his testicles suffered too much damage. Pee Wee told the police that some boys at school have been targeting his balls for days now. The doctor suspects that his testicles may be ruptured, they were already injured. They're waiting on his mother to come down before they take him in for surgery." He paused. His face grew grim. "Pee Wee may loose one or both of them."
Uncle Max frowned and sat down and the boys gathered around him. "Peter told the police that he was raped by several boys today, boys that had also attacked him yesterday. He named them. They found evidence of semen in his rectum during his rape exam."
Max got quiet, as he was second guessing what he was about to share with the boys, "One more thing," he rubbed his head, "Apparently he fought back. He bit the penis off of one of them when they tried to force him to perform oral sex on him. That boy is in surgery here at St. David's right now. He's in police custody."
"How is Peter now? Can I talk to him?" Billy asked.
"They gave him some pretty heavy painkillers and a sedative but you should be able to talk to him tomorrow when he wakes up. I can take you to him now so you can check on him, though if you want. He's in a lot of pain. It's better if we let him sleep though it." Mark and Billy followed Uncle Max until they arrived on the 6th floor, room 624, where Pee Wee was asleep in bed. Jimmy decided to remain behind in the waiting room. He wasn't up to facing Pee Wee yet.
Mark and Billy stood in the corridor and looked into the room. Both boys looked through the window at Pee Wee who, seemed to be sleeping peacefully, despite the horrors he had so recently faced. Then Billy went into the room, took a chair, sat down next to Pee Wee and held his hand.
"Peter, everything is going to be okay." Billy whispered to the sleeping boy, "I'll be here for you. You're at the hospital now. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He got sick to his stomach when he saw Pee Wee. He had a black eye, tubes in his arms, cuts and bruises all over, a large ice pack positioned over his groin, and gauze wrapped around his head. Billy felt more tears come to his eyes. He sat in the chair next to Pee Wee's bed and took his hand. Pee Wee's eyes slowly opened.
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Billy whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's okay. I'm glad you did." Pee Wee's voice was little more than a whisper. Whatever the nurses had given him had left him groggy.
"How are you feeling?" Billy asked.
"A little tired," Pee Wee said, "My balls really hurt," then he added, "and I think I bit my tongue."
The boys smiled at that, nervous smiles.
Uncle Max stepped closer and told him, "They gave you some pain killers." Then added, "We'll leave so you can get some sleep. You need it."
"No! Stay with me." Pee Wee's eyes widened a bit, and grasped firmly onto Billy's hand and looked emphatically at his friend, "Please!"
"Okay, okay. I will." Billy promised, "As long as you get some sleep, I won't leave your side."
"Promise?" Pee Wee asked, settling back on his bed, his eyes half open.
"Of course." Billy assured him.
After Pee Wee closed his eyes again, Pee Wee's Uncle Max put his hand on Billy's shoulder. "Billy, go home, have a shower and sleep and then you can come back tomorrow morning," Max said to Billy.
"No, I'll stay here," Billy said, "I promised him. I don't want him to be alone when he wakes. Please, I'm fine here."
"I want to stay here with him, too." Mark said.
"No, Mark, you're coming home with us. There's no point in all of us being here. You can come back in the morning. He'll need you then." Max wrapped his hand affectionately around the back of his nephew's neck. "Okay," he said to Billy, "I'll see you tomorrow then."
Max, Mark and Larry rode the elevator down to the first floor. Max needed a drink. Something strong, like scotch.
Max gave Billy a slight hug and left. Billy wrapped his arms around his sleeping friend and cried silent tears. Billy pushed the chair so it was right beside Pee Wee's bed. It didn't take long until Billy fell asleep leaning forward on Pee Wee's bed, head resting on his blanket, still holding his hand.
Some time later the phone rang and Billy answered. "Hello, Room 624, who is speaking please?" Pee Wee woke up, and looked over to see Billy still there, answering the phone. He had kept his promise and stayed by his side. Pee Wee thought he would, but it was still very sweet of him. That chair couldn't have been comfortable.
"This is Francis Llewellyn. Whom am I speaking with?"
"I'm Billy Jakes. I'm Peter's friend."
"I need to speak with my son, please." She said, her voice suddenly a bit colder.
The phone woke Pee Wee up, and he looked over to see Billy still there. He had kept his promise and stayed by his side. Pee Wee thought he would, but it was still very sweet of him. That chair couldn't have been comfortable.
"It's your mom," Billy said, and Pee Wee took the phone from him.
"Hi, Mom." Pee Wee said.
"I'll be there in a few of hours," she said. "I will see you in the morning, first thing."
"Yes, mother." Pee Wee said in the same tone of voice.
Pee Wee handed the phone back to Billy. "Is your mom coming to see you?"
"She said that she'll be here tomorrow," Pee Wee answered. He smiled at Billy and squeezed his hand. "I'm glad you're here now," he said, and then asked, "Were you watching me sleep, Billy?"
Billy had to let out a little laugh at the irony. "So what if I was?"
Pee Wee smiled at him. "Thank you."
Billy gave Pee Wee a weird look. "For what?"
"Staying with me. I know you haven't had that much sleep. You couldn't have gotten much last night." Pee Wee smiled, and blushed a little.
"I was going to stay with you no matter what," Billy promised, "Even before you asked me to, I was planning to sneak back in here after you fell asleep." Billy paused, but it looked like he was struggling with something. Even in his current condition, it was obvious to Pee Wee that Billy was struggling with something.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"There's something I need to tell you." Billy began, and then faltered. His eyes welled up, not in sadness but in fear. He had been practicing how to say it during the whole drive from Santa Rosa to Harlingen, but now in the moment, he wasn't sure that he could find the words.
"You remember when you asked me this morning if we were gonna do it together again?" Billy asked, "and I told you that I didn't know if we should." Billy frowned. He was about to admit to Pee Wee that he was queer, and Billy had spent his entire adolescence trying to keep anyone thinking that.
Pee Wee's face fell, and he immediately looked worried and embarrassed again. He didn't understand why Billy was bringing this up now. He guessed that Billy was his friend, but that what had happened between them wasn't something Billy ever wanted to happen again.
"But I do want it to happen again." Billy said, emphasizing the word 'do', "I've been thinking about you all day." Billy smiled slightly then said, "Look, I know that what we did is not something guys are supposed to do with each other. At least not in Santa Rosa, Texas. But I want to. I do. I can't stop thinking about you!" Billy sat back in his chair, exhausted from the effort it had taken him to say what he had just said, and realized that he had said it all without ever one using the words 'homosexual' or 'gay'.
Pee Wee smiled a little then and nodded, "I want that too," he said. He wanted to say, "I love you," but didn't. He was navigating uncharted territory and thought that their relationship would probably best unfold slowly and carefully. He understood what Billy wanted to tell him.
In his own mind Pee Wee had mapped out their relationship already - college, sharing an apartment, the whole nine yards. Pee Wee smiled again. He wanted to believe that Billy would always there for him, no matter what. But what meant more to him than Billy's words was the fact that he was here holding his hand. He thought that he liked the feeling of Billy's hand around his own even more than the feeling of Billy inside him. He closed his eyes and fell back to sleep.
Somewhere around midnight Pee Wee woke up groaning. He looked down to see Billy there asleep in the chair next to his bed.
"My balls hurt," Pee Wee whispered, "they hurt real bad!"
He couldn't understand why the pain in his testicles was worse. He watched Billy sleeping and was tempted to wake him up. It felt like he was back in the gym getting kicked all over again, worse now then when he first woke up at the hospital. He reached out his hand and found Billy's hand again and held it. Pee Wee lay there and watched the clock slowly tick off the minutes. When it got to 1:00 am he was in so much pain that he squeezed Billy's hand so hard that it woke him up.
"Peter, what is the matter?" Billy asked, rousing from a deep sleep.
"My balls hurt real bad," he said.
Billy sat up in his chair. "I'll get the nurse." Then saw the call button lying next to Pee Wee on his bed. "Wait!" he said, "The call button." Billy walked around the bed and pushed the button. The two boys waited. After no response, Billy swore under his breath and left the room in search of a nurse.
"Peter's hurting real bad. He needs pain medicine now!" Billy said forcefully as he walked back into the room with the nurse.
The nurse saw the sweat and pain on Pee Wee's face and took his temperature. "I'll be right back," she said, and left. Ten minutes later the nurse brought medicine to Pee Wee and said, "the on call doctor will be here to check on you."
"This is strong. If it hasn't helped in forty-five minutes call me back." She said, and left them alone again. Her lack of empathy made Billy angry. It validated all of the bad things his father had ever said about hospitals. "A hospital is a dangerous place to be if you're sick," he used to say.
Billy got a washcloth from the bathroom, wet it with cold water from the sink and began to pat Pee Wee's face with it. The clock above the television ticked off the minutes. Pee Wee's face was pale with pain. He continued to moan and squirm. After thirty-five minutes he suddenly let out another scream. Pee Wee's hands reflexively went to his crotch and he curled into the fetal position on the bed. His eyes rolled back in his head and he kept on screaming, didn't stop even when he seemed to have fainted.
The on-call doctor finally arrived. The nurse and the doctor told Billy that he would have to return to the waiting room.
"Call his parents," He said to the nurse, "Get consent to do the surgery if it is what I think it is, we don't have much time or he may lose his testicles."
Billy called Pee Wee's Uncle Max and told him what was going on. He told Billy that he and Larry would be there as soon as they could. It wasn't too long before Uncle Max and Larry arrived. Uncle Max managed to get a hold of his sister in law, and Francis Llewellyn gave a verbal consent by telephone. Uncle Max signed the papers on behalf of the family giving permission for the surgeon to operate on Pee Wee.
After his surgery the doctor saw Uncle Max, Larry and Billy sitting together in the waiting room. He pulled them aside into a consultation room where he told them that he had completed repairs to both of Pee Wee's testicles that had suffered testicular rupture. The urologist had left a drain in the scrotal sac to drain blood and other fluids. He told them that it could be removed in a few days, and that the boy should expect to wear a protective jock strap for six to eight weeks at least, long enough for the swelling to subside.
After the surgeon left Billy began to cry and asked, "How could those bastards do that to Peter?" Uncle Max looked at Billy as the thought formed in his mind that there might be more to Billy's friendship with Pee Wee then that first met the eye.
After about two hours Pee Wee was moved back to his room. Billy kissed him on the forehead and told him that he loved him, then sat in the chair by Pee Wee's bed his head slowly leaning forward until it rested on the side rail and he fell asleep.
The next morning the nurses awaken Billy when she came in to check on Pee Wee and Billy went to the hospital cafeteria for breakfast. The nurse gave Pee Wee a sponge bath. By the time Billy returned Pee Wee was eating his breakfast.
"Peter, what happened?" asked Billy impatient to hear from him what had happened.
Pee Wee's face fell.
"I went to work with Jimmy, and he asked me to do the Junior High Gym, while he went over to the high school. Some boys came, the boys from Junior High. They . . ." Pee Wee broke off, unable to find words. He tried to speak but continued to choke on his words. Then the damn broke, and he sobbed inconsolably for about 10 minutes.
Pee Wee lay there and cried, remembering what had happened to him, not just that morning, but over the last few weeks. Larry patted his arm and Pee Wee looked over at him still crying. "Can you tell me what happened?" Billy asked?
Pee Wee nodded his head, opened his mouth to speak, and choked again. He had no words, only tears. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't stop crying. He felt like there was an ocean inside of him trying to escape. At last he felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see Billy also had tears rolling down his face. He reached over and pulled a chair over beside the bed then leaned into Pee Wee's arms.
"It's okay, Peter." Billy said, "Please I need to know. What happened in the gym?"
"They raped me," Pee Wee wailed, covering his face with his hands, "Jason beat me up, and put me over the sink," he managed to get out between his sobs. "Then Robert. They all took turns." He buried his face in his arms, unable to face his family and the boy who had taken his virginity only the night before. "I can't believe I let this happen." He groaned, "Why?" Pee Wee asked himself, over and over. "Because I'm a freak?" It was less a question than self-recrimination.
"You're not a freak, Peter." Billy told him.
"Oh yes I am," Pee Wee's tearful face seemed to stretch into a howl as he yelled it. "I am a freak." He repeated it as if he were hearing the words being said to him, as they had been using a thousand different phrases, all with the same message which communicated, 'You are different,' and 'You are not one of us'.
"Stop talking like that!" Billy grabbed Pee Wee's shoulders and looked him in the eyes and said, "you are my best friend and nothing and I mean nothing will change that. Hell, if I was ever going to change how I felt about you it would have been when you told me you're gay."
"I never told you . . ." Pee Wee started to protest.
"Of course you did," Billy smiled. "Your hands were all over me when you thought I was asleep. You took a big risk. If I were straight I would've gotten pissed off about that. But it excited me too, Peter." Billy blushed as he remembered the sensations he had experienced when he penetrated Pee Wee. Pee Wee had given himself to Billy willingly, despite the pain it had caused him. "You haven't changed at all, Peter, but I have. All I could do was think about you all day," Billy continued. "So we don't want to hear anymore of that talk about you being a freak."
Pee Wee didn't think that Billy could ever understand what he was going through. He could tell that Billy just wanted him to be okay, and for everything to be alright again. It wasn't that easy. It was kind of nice, though, to have someone to care that much about what happened to him.
"Albert came. Randy's friend. " Pee Wee continued, "He started kicking me between the legs, like he did before . . ." At that point Pee Wee lost it again and broke down crying. "He kept kicking me and they wouldn't do anything," Pee Wee used this thumbs to wipe away his tears then tried to continue. "Then he put his thing in my mouth . . ." Pee Wee felt himself getting flustered, "And I was so angry, so I bit him." His mouth opened wider and his head went back as the tears fell. He felt Billy's hand rub his shoulder then felt some tissues wipe his face. "He started hitting me, and someone else" he wailed, "But I kept biting. I could taste his blood filling my mouth. I think maybe I bit it off."
About that time the news came on, and Billy reached for the remote and was about to flick the TV off, as anchorwoman on the local news announced that several junior high students and a high school senior at Santa Rosa High School had been arrested for sexually abusing an older high school student, who had been hospitalized.
Pee Wee's face fell as she continued to report what had happened. Much of what she said seemed to have been taken almost word for word from what he had told the police last night. His face burned. While she never mentioned his name in the report, but he figured she didn't have to. Everyone in Santa Rosa would soon know all about it, the things that he had done, been made to do, to younger boys.
Pee Wee blushed with shame and started to cry.
Now that everything was public he knew that his life would be permanently changed. It was bad enough when he thought that at least only some of the kids knew, but now that his shame was being televised he knew that there was no way he could ever walk down the corridors of Santa Rosa High School and be looked at as anything other that the dickless wonder who had sucked the bigger cocks of all those high school jocks and even been butt-fucked by younger boys. What a weakling he was!
Billy tool hold of Pee Wee's hand and squeezed. The camera angle changed and the anchorwoman went on to talk about something else.
The two boys watched television for an hour and then a nurse came in to check Pee Wee. She took his vital signs and changed the bandages on his groin causing Pee Wee to blush deep red.
After the nurse left Pee Wee asked Kyle, "how come I haven't had to take a leak all day?"
"Dude they got some kind of tube going inside your dick and it drains into a bag hooked on the side of the bed." answered Kyle. Billy looked at the catheter tube that hung down on the side of the bed leading into a bag about half full of urine. The catheter was keeping Pee Wee's urethra open so he could pass urine. Without the catheter his swollen penis would have made it impossible for him to void.
"Yuck." said Pee Wee, feeling somewhat embarrassed.
"Are you still having as much pain as you were earlier?" asked Billy.
"I don't think so. There is a lot of pain still down there. It kinds runs up into my stomach. But, it probable is just because of being kicked this morning." answered Pee Wee.
"You had to go into surgery last night," Billy told him. "Don't you remember?"
"No," Pee Wee said, suddenly filled with fear, "What happened?"
"The doctor said that your balls were, um, fractured," Billy faltered, "But he said that he was able to repair them."
About that time Pee Wee's Uncle Max walked into his nephew's room at the hospital with Francis Llewellyn and saw Pee Wee locked in a close embrace with Billy.
"How are you Pee Wee?" Uncle Max asked as Francis ran over to Pee Wee's bed to embrace her son. Her tears were flowing before she even entered the room.
The moment she looked down at her son, she turned to her brother in law and clung to him, wailing, "I don't know if I can take this." She looked down again at Pee Wee, and at Billy who sat there next to his bed, holding his hand.
"Could you give us a few minutes?" She asked Billy, frowning, and he understood immediately from her tone that she resented his being there and wanted him to leave.
Billy didn't know why, but he didn't like Pee Wee's mom. She was just too, too something. He looked at Pee Wee, and notice how his whole demeanor had changed since his mother had walked in the room, then gave Pee Wee's hand a squeeze and went out into the hallway. She sat down and took Pee Wee's hand in her own, cupping his hand with her other hand, as if she were defending her property. Max noticed how Pee Wee had gripped Billy's hand. It confirmed his suspicions that the relationship between the two boys was more than just friendship.
He followed Billy into the hallway outside of Pee Wee's room.
"Billy are your parents aware of your relationship with Pee Wee?" he asked.
"I don't know what you are talking about?" Billy said.
"I know that you two are more than just friends. I won't tell your parents, but when you are around others you need to be more careful, especially around Francis."
"I really like Pee Wee." Billy admitted, "I haven't ever felt for another boy that way before. I think Pee Wee feels the same about me, but we haven't really talked about it." Billy stopped and looked at Max Llewellyn seriously, "I'm telling you the truth because you asked me."
"I'm not judging you, Billy." Max Llewellyn said, "My oldest son is gay. I'm just telling you because you need to be careful."
"Your son?" Billy asked, raising one eyebrow. "If my father knew about this, he would kill me," Billy emphasized, "So would my brother, Jimmy, probably." He paused to think, "I know Pee Wee is afraid that his mom is thinking about sending him off to some institution. So please don't say anything to her."
Max started to respond, but bit his tongue. He had tried his best to help his sister in law with the two boys after his brother had abandoned them. Family meant something to Max Llewellyn. And he had seen the efforts Francis had undergone to provide for her boys, efforts that she frequently brought up in conversation. Francis Llewellyn's world centered around Francis Llewellyn. Max wondered, after the past several years, if she really possessed the ability to show real love, love without strings attached, love without judgment, to anyone.
Billy popped his head back in the room. "What kind of food do they give you here?"
"Huh?" Pee Wee really didn't know where he was going with this.
"Because, I was thinking, if it's like most hospitals', it probably tastes like shit. And, maybe I could bring you some real food for lunch?"
Pee Wee smiled. Billy was looking for a reason to come back. That was sweet. "I think that's a great idea."
But Francis Llewellyn interrupted, saying, "Billy, Pee Wee needs to eat what the hospital serves him. He just got out of surgery and the doctors know what's best for him." She turned back to her son, actually physically positioning her body between Pee Wee and Billy. "I'm here now," she said to her son, "You have me to take care of you."
Pee Wee's huge smile fell instantly. As usual his mother would find a way to control everything. He knew that she loved him, or at least, he suspected she did, she certainly told him that she loved him often enough - emphasizing all the sacrifices she had made for her sons. But even as a teenager Pee Wee realized that she loved him with a selfish love, a love that made it all about her.
Billy left the hospital, hating the way things had suddenly ended, and wondered if Pee Wee's family would ever let him have access to his friend again. He wished, quite sincerely, that Francis Llewellyn would return to San Antonio and never come back.
Francis stayed at the hospital for the rest of the day, complaining to nurses about Pee Wee's treatment, criticizing everyone, including Pee Wee.
The next few days were painful ones.
His mother set up court in his hospital room and made his stay there as uncomfortable as possible for him and the hospital staff. Billy came by just about every day only to be driven away on one pretense of another by Mrs. Llewellyn.
"I thought maybe Peter would like a visit from one of his friends." Billy said, as he tried to reason with her, hoping she would allow him to visit his friend.
"He doesn't need friends," Mrs. Llewellyn said smugly, "he has his mother."
That pretty much sealed her identity as a psycho mom as far as Billy was concerned. He left the hospital with visions of Norma Bates' desiccated corpse rocking away in the basement while a light bulb swung overhead, alternating light and shadow across her orbless skull-face.
Pee Wee reacted badly to what the doctor had to say. One of his testicles had been damaged more extensively than the other. The doctor gave him a fifty-fifty change of losing it.
There was other news.
Jimmy Jakes had gotten fired from the school, though no charges had been filed against him. He still had his job with the city, and figured he could make ends meet if he had to by moving back in with his dad.
Jason, Robert, Noe, Evan, and Joel had all been arrested. The newspapers kept Pee Wee's name out of the news stories, but everyone in Santa Rosa knew who it was that had been assaulted. The police learned the true identity of the Santa Rosa Streaker, but that story never hit the news.
Even Albert Martinez had been charged, though he was still in the hospital. A policeman was stationed outside of his room.
Martinez had already begun serving his life sentence, although he had yet to see a courtroom. Complicated by an infection after being surgically reattached, his masticated penis could not be rescued due to infection. When he heard about what had happened to Albert, Billy decided that Martinez was a pretentious asshole with delusions of machismo grandeur, so he really couldn't bring himself to feel too sorry for him, even after ironically getting three-quarters of his dick bitten off. He had been trying to crush Pee Wee's balls, after all, and had damn near succeeded.
On Pee Wee's last day in the hospital a nurse came into his room and told him that she was going to remove his catheter.
"I know this is embarrassing for you Pee Wee, and your penis is going to burn after I take it out. But if you can urinate without it in the morning then you should be able to go home tomorrow."
Pee Wee wished his mother would leave the room for this rather private moment, but of instead she came closer to inspect what the nurse was doing. She pulled his gown aside and looked down to see that his small penis was pretty much retracted. Pee Wee turned his head and looked out the window trying to think about something else. The process didn't go easily. In fact, it felt like the nurse was trying to rip his penis out by the root. Pee Wee gritted his teeth as the nurse continued the long process of removing his catheter. He whimpered and started to cry, and his mother told him to settle down.
"There its out now. Your penis will hurt a little, and you'll have some burning when you urinate, but the burning will go away in the next few days."
"There now if you need to urinate please use this urinal, and then call us. This is very important because you can't go home until we know that your waterworks are working.
Later a muscular nurses aid came in to walk him. It was the first time he had tried to ambulate since being admitted into the hospital. As he stood up his head began to spin, and it felt someone was trying to rip his balls off. The aid helped him put his head between his knees until the pain and lightheadedness went away. His first try at walking he only made it as far as a chair. He sat in the chair while his bed was changed. Then with legs that felt like they were made of rubber he made his way back to the bed.
Later, after Pee Wee got the news that he was being released, he turned on his television waiting for his mother to show up and take him home. A film of Jason and Robert being led in handcuffs to a police car was on the news. Their faces were pixilated, but he recognized them anyway. His mother's attorney was interviewed by a reporter. He described conditions at Santa Rosa High School. It sounded like some other families had come forward to complain. Apparently pee Wee wasn't the only kid in school who had been bullied - just the most infamous. That was how he found out his mother was pursuing a lawsuit against the Santa Rosa School District for their failure to protect her son.
A short time later his mother called. "I'll be there in thirty minutes to pick you up," she said.
After they got home Pee Wee's mother stayed on the phone for hours describing her son's condition to her friends bemoaning how expensive and how difficult all this was going to be for her, as if it were she who was suffering, rather than Pee Wee.
Pee Wee resented his mother deeply.
Actually, hated her.
And until the day she died he would feel that way. It was part of the price they would all have to pay for her selfishness.
The bitterness that resided in his heart, the fear, and the damaged self-esteem that would accompany him for years to come was the price he would pay alone.