Perceptions - Chapter 7
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Practice was a complete disaster. We had face offs today, and everyone had a shot at me. They all seemed like jaguars, and I was the gazelle. Yeah, I was embarrassed about what had happened, even though I was accepting who and what I was more and more, and my shame might have dulled my performance, but even the freshman lightweights were kicking my ass. Even those guy who weren't part of yesterday's scene in the locker room were emboldened and empowered. The word must have spread and there was now an understanding, a definition that was forming around me.
After practice, I gave him a chance to direct me to stay or wait in the locker room in case that was going to be my duty to him; but barring a direct command from him , I planned on skipping the showers today. When he came to my locker on his way to the showers, instead of his customary whisper in my ear, he simply stated: "My house at 8:00 loser." I simply gestured I understood with a nod and quietly acknowledged with a whispered, "yes Sir". Then, in a conversational volume he corrected me so that others close by could hear, "Address me as Master from now on, there's nobody to put on pretenses for anymore cock slut." I acknowledged, "Yes Master", and I heard some chuckling from the guys nearby.
I was walking somewhat aimlessly on my way home. The Fall air was crisp. It was cool and clear, but it hadn't begun to get too cold yet. Despite the impeccable day, my senses were stifled and I was more wandering, stuck in a fog in my own head, rather that following a focused path home. I have no idea exactly where I was when the blue VW convertible pulled up next to me as I plodded along, and from the driver's seat Laith Shaw flashed a broad knowing smile at me. His white teeth framed by firm red lips and lightly freckled skin shook me from my daze. Shaw was a Junior who was just starting to graduate from rookie status to becoming a serious competitor in his weight class on the team. He hadn't put on weight, as he was still in one of the lightest classes, but he had turned his weight into shredded muscle over the summer. The kind of body where you can count the striations. He was one of Master's good friends, and it made me wonder why he wasn't part of yesterday's locker event.
"Hey greg, hop in, I'll give you a ride" he chuckled, with a very amused smile. He was obviously totally satisfied with the entire situation, and his position in it; whatever that was. I was too fogged to read the subtext, and had no sense of understanding. "Thanks, but I'm ok to walk, it's good for me today" I mused. "Get in" he directed at less than a bark, but with an authority that explained it was not a conversation any longer. My body responded immediately to his seriousness, his tone and his confidence. I was now not just a slave to my master, but as part of that transformation, I had become an inferior, a submissive entity, that naturally was obedient to superiors. I carefully opened the door to his car, treating his possession with the respect I suddenly felt for him and gently closed the door without slamming it beyond what was necessary. My headspace went from lost in a fog to focused on submission, almost instantly.
"You ran out of there pretty fast today, what's up?", he asked with the same knowing smile as before. I looked down at my feet, not knowing what to divulge or how much. I was not in a safe place here, but I had already decided that was alright and it was my life to accept these positions, circumstances and realities now. Still though, the acceptance of my new life didn't give me the experience I needed to answer questions yet or know what to do in these situations. "You can tell me" he said more kindly and with more concern than I had expected. Right now I needed that little bit of softness to open up. I responded well to hard dominant commands from my betters, but sometimes I needed the feeling of safety and kindness, and his empathetic approach made me helpless against him. I could not shut down or refuse my superior when he showed concern like that for someone as lowly as me. My head still positioned towards my feet, all of the emotions of the last few days washed over me. My body started to shake, and then silent tears streamed from my eyes and onto my lap, and then I started to laugh and I looked like a clown with a half-sad and half-happy crying face. Laith looked at me and half laughed, "Dude, get a grip. You're a fucking mess man." Shaking my head in affirmation, I exclaimed "Yeah....I know" between laughing sobs. "So much so fast" was all I could offer. A smile returned to his face. "Listen homo, it's not that bad, right?", he sort of half told me and half asked. I shook my head no, and added "It's not bad". "Just a lot". "Glad to hear homo" he continued. "I wanted to intro myself cus with you a Senior and me a Junior, we didn't have much contact; but from now on we're gonna have a lot of contact, ya know? I'm pissed I missed out on yesterday, but when he told me about it yesterday after practice and asked me to stick around I didn't get it, so I missed out big time." Feeling a little braver, I endeavored, "what are people saying?" "Homo, don't worry about what people are saying, your fate is sealed now. There aren't any secrets to keep. You belong to him 100% now and everyone either knows or will know soon. And......." He said with a huge confident smile, "I am his best friend and we share a lot, so that makes you........ lets say indebted to me too."
Amazingly, I wasn't shocked or even that surprised, I was in a state of peaceful acceptance. Acceptance for what I was, what I should expect, what I deserved and what I needed to do and be as my fully actualized self. I was a submissive inferior fag, and everything was different now. I began to share this with him, explaining, "Laith, what..." The car veered over to the side of the road and braked to a halt almost instantly. "Whoa homo", he barked, "You don't call me by my name like that unless the company we're in demands it. Teachers and shit, ya know? I am SIR to you homo. No fuckin' faggot queer calls me by my name" he stated to me and the world in general. "I'm so sorry Sir", I responded with an almost automatic nature. He returned the car to the travel lane and we were moving again. "Listen up faggot, your life just got real, so get used to it. He has a big thing for owning you! It surprised even me. Like he totally forgot about Melanie and her hot body and all he's interested in now is turning you into his slave-slut." Don't disappoint him,......or me either queer, because either one of us will make you regret it." He focused on driving for a moment, and I let his words sink in. As he pulled in front of my house (I was surprised he knew where I lived), he repeated his advice, "this is your life now, there is no escape. Don't disappoint us. Oh yeah, see you at 8:00" He winked, and, he was gone.