Persuaded into Bitchdom

Persuaded into bitchdom – part 04

Hi guys, this story is related to `from straight to bitch club', but if you haven't read it and don't feel like reading it, it's ok, you'll still be able to fully understand it.

Be aware this story contains and/or will contain manipulation, coercion and/or persuasion of straight men into gay sex. There's no romance here. If this is not your kind of story, please don't go on.

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Chapter 4

I decided not to panic. When the guys saw the dildo on my desk, I'd say it was a prank. Who would care about a dildo when I was receiving so many facials every day? I was now more worried about how the glue Lee used could damage the furniture's wood. I was renting the apartment and damaging anything inside it would cost me money. I wouldn't complain about the huge sex toy to him, but eventually, I'd need to ask about how to remove it.

I could still listen to Lee asking me to stare at that and mentalize my little penis was better than that. Well, as for the size, it would never be true. As for how real it looked, the dildo wasn't a good one. Don't take me wrong, I've never seen a dildo close to me like that and never thought I would, but in my head, they looked very convincing. Yes, it did look like a cock, but it shouldn't be one of the expensive ones. So, in this aspect, my penis was better. I shouldn't be the biggest one, but at least my penis was warm and could shoot cum. Ok, that made sense. As I looked at it, I thought: "I'm better than you."

I laid down but couldn't sleep. It was as if that thing was watching me. My room was dark, but I could still see it. The smell of rubber was also strong. My pillow smelt like dried cum, but the air had a new fragrance to it.

I got myself thinking If a guy could have a dick that big. If so, his dick would drain his body out of blood to fill it up. You see, I was having this kind of pointless thoughts as the image of the toy occupied my imagination. How could a chick get that thing into her pussy? It wasn't human. It wouldn't be possible to suck it either. Ok, but what about mine? Any woman would swallow my cock without gagging. I'd never had the chance to know what deepthroating felt like. Probably, in the end, we were both cursed. That dildo and me.

Someone opened the door, and I closed my eyes. There was more than one man in the room. I could hear them talking. The worst part, however, wasn't the guys invading my privacy like that. It was the fact that I didn't recognize the voices I heard.

"Just cum on him." One whispered to the other.

"This is sick." The other replied. I agreed with him.

"But he likes it. Besides, why do you wanna waste your cum in the drain? Just think you're donating it. Making someone happy with it."

That was a terrible way of convincing a guy to cum on me, but it made the trick. I opened my eyes slightly and saw two figures stand on both sides of my bed. They were jerking off. The noises were unmistakable. I wasn't using anything to cover me, only my pyjamas. It wouldn't make any difference though. The two of them got much closer to my face, and I understood they wanted to give me a facial. The guy who was convinced to get into my room for the first time, cummed everywhere. I felt volleys of jizz hitting me on the face, but I was sure most of it fell on my pillow. The convincer, however, turned my head to his side of the bed unworried that it could wake me up. Before cumming, he pressed his dick against my lips. I thought about closing them tight, but that would only let them know I was awake.

"What are you doing?" The convinced asked.

"He takes it in the mouth too. When he's awake he doesn't swallow, but we think that he might wash it down when he's asleep. It's so hot to think someone is drinking my jizz. Fuck."

With that, he came. I remembered Zac saying he's done this before. I didn't know if he was just joking, but apparently not. The cum entered my mouth and hit my tongue that was squeezed between my teeth and worked like a barricade that didn't let all the liquid in. Most of it ran down my chin and ended up on my chest and pillow. Part of it, on the other hand, remained in my mouth.

The guy didn't withdraw after that. He continued masturbating, but slower now. He should be releasing the rest of cum that remains in the shaft after unloading. His insistence pushed his dickhead deep enough to touch my tongue. I couldn't react.

"Will you put it in?" the convinced asked.

"We're not allowed to. If they find out, I'll be in trouble. I wanted to try it though. The guy's got such nice cocksucking lips. I bet he'd be a great cocksucker."

"What would they do if they found out?"

"The guys are tough. That's all I know. Besides, I think eventually he won't resist and will be down for some cocksucking. Just gotta be patient."

The convincer finished his own ordeal and they left. I won't say I felt like complaining. I was receiving guys in my room and cum on my face for a couple of months already. I was past that phase by now. But I can't deny I wanted it to finish soon. I heard Pete should be leaving us, and we'd need to find someone new to replace him. I liked Pete, but I was radiant with the prospect.

I pushed the cum that was still sitting on my tongue out of my mouth and let it run down my cheeks. I turned around and I felt the cum that was cooling down touch my face. It didn't bother me anymore. I wondered how much cum the balls of that dildo could make. The balls were also impressive. I was sure they'd produce a lot of jizz. I saw cum running down the shaft of the toy onto the desk and then on the floor. It was unstoppable. I had to get out and warn people about it. We'd be flooded if I didn't do anything. I thought about standing up, but my body couldn't move. It was like a trance.

I woke up with Led Zeppelin's `Good times Bad times' playing on my phone. I liked the song. I was having my own share of bad times, but the good ones were on the way. I turned up the volume and enjoyed the vibe. My body dancing on top of the dried cum on my back. I had a wet spot on my pillow. It was a fresh one. I turned my face to the right and saw that dildo facing me. Just impressive. I looked at it and said it out loud: "I'm better than you, mother fucker."

"Hey." Zac opened the door and let himself in.

"It's still early, dude."

"I know, but I gotta rush. I'll paint your face now, just try not to screw my masterpiece when you dress up."

Zac got on my left as my eyes were still set on the dildo.

"What the hell is that shit?"

Opposite to my face, I saw from the corner of my eyes that he was already hard and jerking off.

"A friend left it there," I remembered I thought I'd say it was placed there by someone trying to prank me.

"Are you sure he's your friend?"

"Yeah."

"It's amazing the kind of shit they make these day s. No one would have a dick this big." Zac said confidently.

"It's based on a real dick. That's for real." I don't know where I got that idea. Somehow, I thought that the idea that someone could be so much better than Zac would piss him off.

"Bullshit. No one would ever."

I smiled.

"I'm telling ya. The shit is real."

"I'd need to see it with my own eyes. Anyway, I'm not here to discuss this with you. Look at me and open your mouth."

I turned my head back to him and did as requested. Zac aimed his dick into my mouth and looked up.

"Fuck. I love this." He got five good spurts into my mouth, another two onto my cheek and two more fell on my pillow. I pushed the cum out of my mouth and it went all the way onto my chest and then to the sides onto my arms.

"You should put that shit away. Cover it, I don't know." Zac was putting his dick back into his pants.

"I think I like it there."

"You're sick. I'm off, but I'll be back at night. Got a lot of shit to do today."

He saw himself out. I stood up. My phone playing "Whole lotta love". I was in quite a good mood. I couldn't remember the last time I felt good like that. I looked at myself in the mirror, which I wouldn't do in the morning since I refused to see my face covered in cum. But, that day, it didn't bother me. I got my black uniform out of my wardrobe. Every morning, I had to separate the parts of the fabric that had been glued together by the cum that dried in it. The cotton was hard, and it didn't feel too comfortable on the body, but again, I had grew used to it. By now, I was using the cum on my body to shape my hair.

I looked at the dildo. It was looking at me too. I smiled, and he smiled back.

"You're good, but I'm still better than you."

I put my headphone on and rushed to my first class while I had snacks for breakfast. That day, I was sitting by myself. I was still a contagious virus. Classmates would sit far away from me. But the look of disgust was not around anymore. The stage where I was seen as a crazy fag who loved facials didn't last long. It was replaced by the story where I was a brave young guy doing all I could to get into the team. Now, no one would even talk about me anymore. I preferred it this way.

I made my way to the cafeteria with "Immigrant Song" on repeat.

"What are you listening to?" I turned around to find Craig waiting in the line behind me.

I let the headphone rest on my shoulders.

"Led Zeppelin."

"Oh." He smirked. "Waiting for your stairway to heaven?"

"What you talking about?"

"Well, today you'll be sharing the showers with us."

Fuck, I had completely forgotten that. I didn't want Craig to think I was fighting the idea, so I just smiled. He tapped my butt.

"Are you worried about something?"

"Not at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep." My heart was about to jump out of my chest.

"Good." He tapped my butt again. "You need another touch-up. When was the last time you got your shower?"

"In my room before class." I was honest.

"That's no good. We need to think about something when you're having class."

"That's already happening..." I was referring to the times guys would make me kneel among the seats in the auditorium to cover me in jizz.

"In the auditorium, right? But what about in the classroom?"

"You can't be serious. Everyone would see me. I can't pretend I'm pouring cum on my face like a girl touching up the make-up."

"Why not?" Craig was the kind of man who could only focus on a single tree and never on the entire forest.

"Why not?" It's been a while since I had to bring Craig back to reality. "Teachers had been turning a blind eye to my look and smell, but I don't think they'd accept that."

"Fuck. I'll try to think about something. But you still need another shower before your next class. Let's have lunch and then we can have a quickie in the toilet." The toilet he referred to was always the one for disabled people where I went to on the first day of my hazing. "I'll invite other guys over."

I was getting to know the guys who would ejaculate on me. I don't mean I was getting acquainted with them. We had never talked or engaged in an activity together. But I could now associate a name to those faces. I think I could also say without fear that I knew more or less how big the dicks of those guys were. I must emphasize though that the size is all I could remember. If I was shown pictures of those dicks, for example, I wouldn't be able to say who they belonged to.

After so many months unloading on my face and body, my teammates were getting more comfortable when jerking off in a group. I had never noticed their uneasiness. In my head, I was the only one embarrassed. But Craig once told me to stop whining and appreciate their sacrifice too. According to him, they were all ashamed, but it didn't stop them from giving their contribution to the team. Craig wanted my sympathy for the cause. At this point, though, I wasn't carrying too much about the team anymore. It had become automatic to me.

Another thing that changed when they started feeling more relaxed was their behaviour. With each other, they were more talkative. They could now discuss philosophy and politics when jerking off before me. It did happen once. I didn't mind that. The problem for me was how they were taking it for granted that I didn't care when their dicks touched me. I still complained about that every time it happened. But the more I complained, the more they did it. It's become normal for them to unload and then clean the last drop of jizz that remained on the dickhead on my head. It was also common to have their dicks touching my lips now and then, mainly when they cummed in my mouth. Again, I did complain, but my voice was travelling in the vacuum.

That day, I saw Liam, Ben and Tom. I didn't know anything about those guys. I assumed they played volley and that's about it. They were talking about pizza when they fished those dicks out and started jerking off. How can someone cum thinking about pizza? The whole process was becoming automatic for them too. Craig would say that that wasn't meant for pleasure, it was for the team. For the team, they came on my face, mouth, and body.

I had more classes in the afternoon and then volleyball training. I was enjoying the game, and I have no doubt I was delivering. My performance wasn't perfect, but impressive for a beginner. I was confident my position in the team was secured. Karl once told me that coach Lane wouldn't get rid of me unless I screwed very badly. And, of course, if Craig didn't complain about me. I didn't think this would be happening.

When we were done training, I started thinking about what was to happen: I'd be naked and exposed to my teammates. I was feeling the pressure.

I was walking to the lockers when Pete said he had an announcement to make. I stopped like the others. To my surprise, he said he was leaving the team. The guys started making his questions of all sorts. Coach Lane surely knew this already, but he was waiting for the training to end apparently. I stayed there motionless. I should be saying something too like the others. It'd be polite if I at least showed how sad I was feeling now we wouldn't have him in the team anymore. But I was never a good liar. I was euphoric.

I waited a little longer till I realized no one was thinking about taking a shower anymore. My presence didn't even make any difference. That was the time I decided to leave and meet Lee in the gym.

That same night, I sent Craig a message to ask about what would happen with my showers. He took a few minutes to reply but was brief when he said it was over for now. For now? Anyway, I shouldn't care about that. Seeing those words on my phone's screen was enough to make me jump out of my bed and celebrate. That was my actual stairway to heaven.

The first thing I did after enjoying my one-man party was to take a long, warm and thorough shower. I made sure to clean my whole body three, four, no, five times. I shampooed my hair and let the chemicals do their job. I had bought a new towel a couple of months ago, which I was saving for this moment. It was so soft and gentle on my skin.

There was no one around, and that was rare. It should make me feel good, but somehow, I wanted to see those who tormented me for so long. I'd love to see Zac and let him know his time covering me with cum was over. Maybe they knew it already. They had a group on WhatsApp where they'd talk about my cum showers. I could only wonder what they were talking about now.

For the first time in many months, I could smell the aroma of jizz in my room. When I bought that towel, I also bought new bedsheets. I flipped over my mattress and wrapped it with the new sheet. The pillow I was saving in my wardrobe was also put to use. Lastly, I did something that I've been dreaming of for months: I locked my door.

I laid down and I could feel like I was back to being myself. How long it's been since I last felt like that? I couldn't remember. As my euphoria subsided, I started thinking about who the next guy to join our team would be. What would we make him do? I wanted to cum on him too, but I didn't want the other to see my dick. We could make him play naked, or maybe walk around in nothing but thongs. Shave his hair should be taken into consideration. If I had a dick as big as that dildo, I'd make him suck me. Why not? I'd happily shove it down his throat and make him know I was better than him.

I had a list of ideas in my head. I slept while I took notes of what I'd like to suggest to my teammates. Now, I'd be a senior. They'd have to listen to me.

Early in the morning, I called professional cleaners to come to my room and make it look and smell like new. I could only imagine how many litres of cum they extracted from my carpet. They warned me the detergent smell would last for a few days. I should keep my window open. I'd probably want to sleep somewhere else. I didn't care for any of their advice. I couldn't love that smell more.

When I got back to the court, I knew that eventually, they'd say something about taking a shower together. But they didn't. We got guys from other teams replacing Pete. The team wasn't the same. The mood had also changed considerably. Pete was being missed. I felt as if I didn't exist. It should also bother me but, for the time being, I liked that.

The guys started talking about the new selection process they had to run. It was a serious matter for them. I need to confess though that I didn't care that much for what they were discussing. I just couldn't stay talking with them over time because I had to meet with Lee and work on my legs. Fuck, I was so proud of them. Lee seemed satisfied too. The feeling was amazing.

"What about the shower? Aren't they talking about it anymore?" Lee asked.

A few days ago, I had told him that I was worried about the common showers. Craig said that taking a shower with my teammates was an important part of bonding that I was missing. I'd been avoiding it because I didn't want them to see me naked. They couldn't see my small dick. I've never shown it to anyone, and I'd like it if it didn't change. Lee was trying to help me with my self-confidence. He was a nice guy.

"Nope. They can only talk about candidates and the selection process." I was relieved.

"Shouldn't you join them? Aren't you part of the team?"

"They didn't invite me. Besides, there's not much I can do. Sometimes, we have newbies coming over. I play with them and that's it. If my presence was really necessary, they'd tell me so, right?"

"I don't know. You should ask them."

Yes, probably I should, but I didn't want to. I don't know if it's hard to understand why I was avoiding my teammates, but I didn't want them to remember I existed. That could lead them to remember I should shower with them. I think I was being selfish but that's just because I wanted to defend myself from further humiliation. I think it's only fair.

"You can't expect to be a member of the team if you don't help them," Lee warned me.

"I'll be fine. They'd come for me if they needed me."

I wasn't sure about that, but I should be right.

At night, I decided to cover that dildo with dirty clothes. I didn't need that anymore. On the other hand, however, I needed to allow those women from the posters back into my imagination. I wanted to forget all those dicks and faces. The cum that covered my body was now gone for good. Those dirty clothes in the trash. I had new clothes. Everything was new and smelt as such.

When I jerked off, I made sure to cover myself up with toilet paper. I had developed an aversion to cum that I'd never had. It's texture, smell, taste... Everything. If I had a choice, I'd never have that shit around me anymore. That's understandable, I believe. I didn't want it close to me, but I'd still love to cover the new guy with my jizz. To breed a few bitches. Give facials. Have them swallowing my baby batters. This idea of using my cum like a gun to avenge my past was growing stronger within me. Thinking about it made me cum. I got rid of the toilet paper, being extra careful not to touch the liquid inside.

My behaviour was slowly changing, but one small habit continued. I couldn't explain why, but I'd still look at the dildo, even when hidden, and say I was better than him. It made me feel safe and confident. In the beginning, when I was being hazed, I'd say that but couldn't take myself seriously. Now it had changed. I was back in control of my life. All seemed easier.

I found my teammates and coach in the court talking to this Latin guy who should be my age or a little older. He wasn't too tall as the others, which made me think he wasn't the one they chose, but I was wrong.

"There you are." Craig invited me into a circle they'd formed. "This is Juan. He's our new setter."

Juan seemed to be a nice guy. I mean, Pete wasn't bad, but whereas Pete was too serious and focused, Juan was all smiley and extroverted. We shook hands. He had a strong grip. Too strong I'd say. I saw in him a confident man who was willing to be acknowledged by his new peers.

"Juan was telling us that our image has changed a lot among the freshmen." Craig seemed happy too. "Tell him."

Juan was still smiling at me. "Yeah. After seeing you all covered in... you know... people say that you guys are quite tough. Was that for real?"

"Of course, it was for real." Bernard should have felt offended by such a low accusation.

"Yeah, are you saying we're impostors?" Craig was another one who didn't look happy.

"No, of course not. My bad. It's just that there was so much cum."

I liked the way the guys were dealing with Juan. As the new member of the team, he should suffer as I did before him. I couldn't be the only one being humiliated. If Juan only knew what I've been through.

I was waiting for someone to start the topic on what Juan's initiation ritual would be like, but it didn't happen until we were done training.

When we gathered after the last whistle, I realized what should've been obvious since the moment they told me we had a new teammate. They didn't need to take hours after each training to discuss the selection process. It was done. Now, we were walking toward the shower room. Craig wouldn't let me step aside this time. He has been clear about this before. I, however, still hesitated.

"Are you coming with us, right?" Craig asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, yeah."

I followed them but two steps behind. Juan was happy and his connection with the guys seemed so much deeper than mine. After everything that happened to me, I was still an outcast. I wanted to let my fears behind and embrace that group, but my anxiety didn't let me.

In the lockers, everyone started undressing without ceremony. They talked and laughed as if being naked was natural. Well, why shouldn't it be? But to me, it was a huge taboo.

"So, tell us, Juan. Are you really willing to be part of this team? Whatever it takes?" Damian was now in his jocks. It didn't take long, and they were all equally dressed.

"Fuck, yeah." Juan was copycatting me. I was the one who used to say that.

"Even if we were to cover you in jizz?" Bernard asked.

"Well, he survived." Juan looked at me.

"We should choose something worse," I spoke out. I shouldn't have though. My voice made everyone turn heads and eyes to me. Those were looks of disgust, I'd say. What did I do to deserve that?

"You ain't voting." Drew took off his jocks and stood naked among the others.

"Yeah, seriously. I don't even know why you're still in this team." Damian should be the angriest.

"What are you talking about?" I was feeling attacked.

"You had to join us when we were choosing who'd replace Pete. You were pretending we didn't exist for days and now you come here and think you can say shit?" Craig was the one I couldn't piss, but I did. "Where were you?"

"I thought you guys didn't need my presence. You never invited me for the meetings..."

"And why should we? What do you want? A formal letter? RSVP?" Damian was almost yelling now.

"Not only that. You think you're better than us. You can't even shower with us. Why's that? You keep coming with excuses to avoid us. Don't you like us? What the fuck are you doing here then?" Craig's voice was also raising. I was scared.

Juan was looking down as if he was embarrassed. "It's not that..." I didn't know what to say.

"So, what is it?" Craig demanded my clarity.

"It's just that... This is so embarrassing..." I was expecting someone to interrupt me, but it didn't happen. I had to be honest and say it. "My dick is too small. Fuck. I didn't want you guys to know. I was avoiding the meetings coz I thought that this way I wouldn't need to shower with you and undress. I'm sorry, ok? I've always been like this. It's not personal. Ever since I was a teenager in puberty, I knew there was something wrong with my dick. I've been avoiding other guys for years. This is not the first time I come with excuses like this. I wish I were different, but I'm not..."

No one said a word, but I could see that their anger was subsiding. Juan was still looking down at his jocks. His arms were hidden behind his back.

"I didn't know," Craig said. "You could have told us. You're playing with us for how many months already? We've been talking about dick and cum for months. You could've said something."

"It's not easy for me. It must be a trauma. I can't deal with it."

"Well, now you have to." Damian sounded much calmer. "You gotta get over it, or you can't be part of this team. We can help you. I don't know. I'm sure we don't want you to leave, but if your issue is stopping you from being a member of this team, then you have to leave."

"Please, I don't wanna leave." I was becoming a slave for that team, I know, but it still meant a lot to me to be part of something. I didn't want to start again somewhere else. Besides, expulsion from a team meant a dark future in other sports. They would have to explain why I left, and what would they say? No, I had to stay there where I belonged.

"Ok. Show it to us." Craig said.

"Sorry?" Was he serious?

"Show us your dick. If you don't do that, we can't help you. Even worse, you can't help yourself. You say you've been avoiding this forever, but you can't just keep dragging this on and on. Besides, now your dick is an issue for the whole team if you decide to stay. It's not your problem anymore. Your dick is our problem too." Craig explained.

"And how are you gonna help me?"

"I don't know. But we need to start somewhere. And we start when you decide to overcome your fear and show it to us. Your teammates. If you can't trust us, then I'm sorry, but you don't belong here."

That was it. The moment I wished to avoid for as long as I lived had arrived. I've avoided it for too long, I confess. I've managed to start college without letting anyone see me naked. Well, there was that time with Karl, but he wasn't part of my life like my teammates were. It couldn't continue like that anymore.

If they wanted me to be brave and face my fears, I'd show them how brave I could be. I let my shorts fall with my jocks. No one laughed. Well, Juan was holding up. I could see his chin quivering. The other guys were just staring at my dick.

"Is that it?" Damian asked. I didn't know what he was referring to. Was he making fun of me as if "is that it" referred to how small I was? Or was he saying, "is that it" like "you didn't bond with us for something so irrelevant like that?"

"Is this embarrassing for you?" Craig asked.

"Extremely." Eventually, I covered my penis with my hands.

"Then we have a problem. You can't be a part of this team while you don't get over the fact that you have a small dick. As I was saying, if your little dick is stopping you from being a hundred per cent committed to this team, then your little dick is a problem for us all. Which also means that we, as a team, have control over it until you overcome this trauma."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we need to get you fixed. When the fact of having a small dick doesn't affect you anymore, then we are done with you."

This was so overwhelming. I had not only shown my dick to the whole team, but we are also talking about it as if it was something normal to do. I could hear guys from other teams talking and laughing in other parts of the locker room. I wondered if they could hear us. I didn't need more people knowing about my private issues. What I was yet to understand is that it wasn't private anymore.

"How do you want to fix me?" I wasn't the new guy anymore, but I wasn't any better than Juan. On the contrary, he seemed so comfortable in his jocks around my teammates. It was hard to believe nothing had changed with me after four months of the most horrendous hazing someone could go through. Probably, it would end once Juan was experiencing his hazing.

"Well, I can only guess that the issue will be gone once everyone knows you got a small dick. If that's not a secret anymore, then you would have no reason to feel ashamed." Craig explained.

"It makes sense," Juan spoke out. Fuck, he wasn't even part of the team yet.

"You shut up coz you have no voice here yet." Damian reprehended the guy. I was glad to know someone still knew what hierarchy meant. "How do you want him to let everyone know about his little thing there?" Damian asked Craig.

"I don't know. Walking around naked isn't an option. But maybe you could show everyone how small your package looks. Like, stop wearing undies and buy some tight shorts."

"What kind of shorts?" Drew asked. "Like these, we wear for practice?"

"No, these ain't tight. I mean something like those nano gym shorts. A size smaller, so we can make sure everyone can see how you don't have a package." Craig explained.

"I don't know if I can do that..." I didn't want people looking at me and knowing about my most private secret.

"Fuck you can't. You used to walk with cum all over your body." Craig liked to remember what I've been through. After my last hazing, everything should be normal. Nothing could be worse than that. "Besides, I said this already and I'll say it again: that is not your issue anymore. That is the team's problem now. You either do as we say, or you can't play with us anymore."

"It feels like I'm being in the ritual again..."

"One thing has nothing to do with the other." Craig was getting aggressive again.

"What about him?" I pointed at Juan.

"You both aren't in the team yet. You" Craig pointed at Juan "coz you're new here and has no right to opinions, and you" he now pointed at me "coz you don't act as you belong here. So, let's say this will be part of your ritual. I want the two of you buying tight nano gym shorts and walking around with no underwear. Then when we get someone new in the team, you're free. IF you have proved you're worth it. Otherwise, the ritual continues."

Juan looked relieved. Of course, when you think you can leave the lockers bathed in man juice, walking in tight shorts is easy.

"Just go to a department store and buy those shorts. Buy a few coz that's all you'll be wearing. And make sure you don't wear undies. We'll be watching." Craig stated.

I didn't have any saying on the matter. It was settled.

"And, for Christ sake, stop hiding your pennie. We saw that thing already." Craig still sounded pissed.

I let my arms loose and my pennie exposed again. It was weird to be in the nude among other naked guys. The rest of them took their jockstraps off, and we all went to the showers. I can't say that seeing their dicks was new to me. No, of course, it wasn't. But not that I was exposed, the dynamics changed. Now I wasn't the only one watching them. They were also watching me.

Juan was bigger than me too. I had no expectations anymore. Probably, no one in the world was smaller than me.

"Are you small like that when you're hard too?" Bernard asked me. He was showering on my left side. We were close to each other.

His question drew the attention of the other guys who were now looking at me waiting for an answer.

"Yes, it doesn't change much."

"Why don't you get hard, so we can see it?"

"I don't think I can get hard here..."

"What if we all get hard? Would that help?" Bernard wasn't shy about showing off. He waved his dick at me. I turned myself around. "Fuck, what fucking amazing ass is that? How come I've never seen that? It's better than every bitch I've fucked by far."

I used to be proud of my legs and glutes, but this comment started making me wonder if that shouldn't be an issue. Why would a guy want to have a big butt? I've never thought about it.

I didn't know where to turn. Now not only my dick embarrassed me, but also my ass.

"Hey, stop being so paranoid," Craig spoke out loud from across the room. The sound of the water hitting the tiles made it hard to understand what he was saying. "Be proud of your body."

"I am proud." I was still trying to defend myself by creating a persona that didn't represent my real self.

"Bullshit. So, show this ass. Don't be selfish." Bernard was rubbing his dick calmly while his eyes were focused on my butt.

I didn't want them to think I was ashamed. Such a thought would make this new ritual go on forever. The earlier they believed I was comfortable with my body, the faster this would end. Like that guy who shook his ass on Bernard's lap when we were going to the restaurant, I decided to play their game. I started dancing with my ass turned to them.

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about." Bernard started clapping and singing. "Shake ya ass, watch yourself. Shake ya ass..."

I couldn't tell if it was me or Bernard that made them laugh, but soon they were all guffawing.

I could still see Bernard's silhouette on my side, and he was hard as a rock while I shook my ass for them. Was that the reason for the others' commotion? He was now openly jerking his dick.

"Fuck, Bern. Are you still that horny?"

"Man, still no pussy?"

Those were a few of the commentaries I heard from the guys. Bernard wasn't ashamed. A boner would never upset him. On the contrary, he came closer to me and started slapping my ass. He was still singing, and Juan was the only one clapping now. He also very entertained and laughing loud.

Bernard was done singing when he started cumming. He had the only boner around, but Juan had a good half-mast pointed to me.

The laughter continued as Bernard let his cum hit the tiles. As I watched the last spurt of jizz leaving his dick, he raised his left arm and yelled a `U-hu' before slapping my ass again.

"The dude is nuts." Drew was still laughing. They had the show they wanted.

"This is gonna be fun," Bernard said. "Chris, you're amazing, man."

I haven't heard many words of appraisal since my first day with them, so I can't deny it boosted my ego a little even if his approval had nothing to do with volleyball.

"See? Showering together ain't that bad, right?" Craig asked while he dried his body off.

I realized it should be late already and rushed out of the shower room. I was about to cover my waist with the towel, but Craig warned me not to. "Hey, you leave that towel on your shoulder. When you're here, you're naked, got it? Remember, be proud."

I could do that. They've seen all of me already. Somehow, being naked with them was helping me to become more confident. I nodded.

Quickly, I dressed up and headed to the gym. My training with Lee was about to start, so I strode away. I wasn't far when I heard someone calling my name. I looked over my shoulder and found Bernard running to me.

"Hey boy, before you go, I have a proposition for you." He was panting softly.

"What's that?"

"Before I say anything, let me ask you one thing. How bad do you want a bitch swinging on your dick? Or maybe you'd like something more serious, what about a girlfriend?"

"Why are you asking this?"

"Just answer me."

"Well, I want it as bad as any other guy."

"I can help you with that, ok? I can get you someone to release your, you know, your sexual tension, if you help me out with a problem I have."

"What's that?" I was interested in what he had to say. I didn't know how he'd help me with that, but a girlfriend was all I needed. After being known by gooey for months, I believed it would never happen. I still wondered if he wasn't just mocking me though.

"You see the guys laughing at me because I'm always hard and cumming everywhere, right? There's a reason for that. Last year, I made a stupid bet with a few guys and chicks, and I lost it. Turns out, I can't fuck chicks for a whole year. Do you know how bad it feels to have so much testosterone and be unable to release it? I'm dying here."

"And why don't you have sex? I doubt they would find out." I should say I understood him because I was a virgin, but I preferred not to go that way.

"They would, eventually. We're too close, and I speak too much. I'd end up saying something to them. Maybe when I'm drunk or something. Besides, we honour our bets here, boy. Don't tell me you don't."

"Of course, I do. But that's the first thing that I could think of."

"Which isn't good." He looked like an angry teacher. "Anyway, I was paying a whore to let me touch her ass while I jerk off, but it was ruining my finances. I'm an ass man, you know? I don't care that much for tits, but ass... Fuck! Anyway, I can't afford this anymore. I was thinking if you'd be willing to replace her."

"I don't get it..."

"It's simple. You come to my place, and you don't need to do anything, you just show me your ass and wait till I cum. That's it."

"Fuck, man. Watch porn or something..."

"It doesn't work for me, boy. Don't you think I've tried?"

"And this sounds gay to me. I don't have a pussy, don't you know that?"

"And did I say something about pussy? I said I like ass, and you have a nice smooth one. So, will you help me out?"

His proposal was so outrageous, I struggled not to laugh.

"I'm sorry, man. This isn't happening."

"Oh, boy. C'mon, you're my only hope."

"You better look for someone else then."

"Great teammate you are. Eventually, you gonna need a friend you can trust in this team and don't count on me."

Bernard was really upset. I confess I thought this was so absurd, he could be just making fun of me. I don't know. But did he meant all he said? I should've known by now that for people who think that cumming on you is normal, asking you to show your ass to them shouldn't sound so crazy.

He walked away and left me befuddled. What had just happened?

Lee greeted me when I entered the gym. He was all smiley and talkative as usual. I, on the other hand, was a little thoughtful.

"What's going on?" He finally asked after talking about a woman he had trained that day and how stubborn she was. Nothing that I cared about.

"I've showered with the guys today," I said numbly as I sat on the adduction machine.

"Oh, that's good, bud. How was it?"

"Well, scary in the beginning, but once I got used to it, it was ok. I mean, I thought they would make fun of my... you know... my size there, but they didn't say a word."

"Of course not. You don't have a micropenis, right? It's just small. You're too obsessed about it when you shouldn't be. You'll eventually understand that the only one who cares about it is you."

"And what if the chicks don't like me because I'm too small?"

"Well, you can't say everyone is the same. We all have different bodies and tastes. Besides, you may have a small dick, but you got a very nice pair of legs and a great ass."

I wasn't expecting Lee to talk about my ass, but he was my PT. He was the one who could talk about it. And, somehow, I liked it. Hearing a compliment from my PT meant that I was doing a good job after all. I loved my legs and my butt. I couldn't deny that. But I've never thought my ass could arouse someone. Bernard jerked off while he saw me dancing to them. Months ago, he had cummed while I was sitting on his lap. I knew some people liked anal sex, but I've never fathomed that my ass could be used for that.

"How having a great ass would help me when my problem is my dick?"

"Well, some chicks love guys with big ass. I think all of them do, to be honest. Chicks are kinky too..." Lee deviated from the subject here as he told me a story of this chick who loved male bubble-butts (that was the first time I've heard this term), she would masturbate while watching guys twerking for her. "There's another one who loved to lick the guys' assholes..."

"Bullshit!"

"Nah, it's true. You can google it if you want. Anyway, the point is that you may have a small dick, but you got a big ass. If you know how to use it, you'll have chicks lining up to get their share of ass. And once they're making out with your ass, you ask or beg them to let you fuck them."

I've heard many of Lee's stories. They were all boring but sounded legit. Lame stories of a normal guy who's never done anything extraordinary in his life. These stories of chicks he knew who were kinky and horny, however, sounded too good to be true. They were a stretch. For the first time, I felt like he was lying. Maybe I was wrong, but the impression remained.

"Have you tried it before?" I was afraid my question could upset him, but he continued smiling.

"Not personally, but I know this guy who had it. He used to work out here too. Such a nice and round ass. He used to give us tips on how to work out the glutes. He was an expert. You should see the guys' techniques. Anyway, once one of us asked him how having a nice ass could help you with chicks. And, it turns out, he was a womanizer. He said all thanks to his ass. They couldn't let him go before bitting his butt then he'd turn around and they'd suck him too."

This is not how Lee used to tell his stories. That's why I wondered if this could be a lie. Normally, Lee would go on and on explaining what this guy's techniques were. Lee wasn't a man who'd say `anyway' and then move on with the story. He liked details and thorough explanations to the point it was hard not to feel bored. I just didn't think about it at the time. I was hooked by this story. It meant a lot to me.

"I didn't know. I'm so naïve." I confessed.

"It's ok. No one can know everything."

"Something is bothering me though. There's this guy in our team, Bernard. He made me such a weird proposition when I was coming to the gym..."

"What's that?"

"He said he lost a bet and can't fuck a chick for a whole year. The guy's going mad already. He said he was paying whores to show him their asses so he could, you know, jerk off. But he's running low on cash and asked me, ME, a GUY, to replace those whores and show him my ass, so he can jerk off. That's too much! It is too much, right?"

Lee was the only guy I'd trust enough to tell such an intimate story. Someone who had a small dick like me could empathise and give me good advice.

"Is he giving you anything in exchange for that favour?"

"He said he can help me out with chicks. Find me a girlfriend maybe..."

"Wow, he's being generous. You know how women are scarce around here, right? Besides, you have a stigma. People will remember you were gooey for a while. Well, eventually, they'll forget, but until then, I don't think you'd be able to fuck anyone. Being part of the team and having someone willing to help you could do the trick."

"But showing him my ass while he jerks off? That's gay!"

"It can't be gay if you two are not into men. He must be an ass man. Probably he's into anal sex. If he's not seeing your dick, he wouldn't mind watching you. Besides, your ass must be much better than any of those whores he was paying."

"Still sounds weird."

"I know it does, but I don't think it'd be a bad idea. Actually, it could help you to get more confident about your body. Having someone watching you and getting off by watching you can be such an ego booster."

"I don't know. I don't think Bernard is the kind of man who would have enough connections to find me a girlfriend..."

"You're still thinking about it? Maybe that's the case, but it shouldn't matter. There's another thing common to all guys who have big bubble-butts like yours. Have you heard of submissive men?"

"Not sure..."

"Do you prefer receiving a present or the joy of seeing how you make someone happy by presenting?"

"What's that for?" We walked to the extensor machine.

"Just think and answer." Lee adjusted the weight for me.

"I think I like to present. There's nothing that I want, that's why."

"No, that's not the reason. You like to give more than receive because you must be submissive. But that's good. I can assure you that you'll find a lot of chicks falling for you once they realize you're submissive."

"I don't want to be submissive."

"That's what you think. You'll love it when you see how good it makes you feel. That's all about their pleasure, you know? Not yours. They love it when they know the guy is only thinking about them. Guys who have big dicks usually think only about themselves. They always cum first. The chicks hate it, coz the fuck stops before they have their orgasm. But guys with small dicks and submissive are the opposite. As they know they can't please the chicks with their dicks, they use their mouths and bodies to make them cum first. You can talk with any girl about it. Most of them will agree with me."

Lee was teaching me something I have never verbalized, but that wasn't new to me. The posters I chose to stick to my wall weren't randomly picked. I got the ones that focused on the pussies, but what I liked the most about them was their faces. I don't think any guy would pay attention to that, but I did. They didn't look like they wanted to be dicked merciless till the guy came all over her. No. They wanted a man to please them. They weren't trying to be sexy. They were smiling. It was like an invitation to a party where they'd be the main guests. I just wanted to be there for them.

"And submissive guys don't cum?"

"They do, of course. Eventually. But it's never about them. It's not about your dick. It's about their pussies. You see, bud, there's no pressure on you if you're submissive. Your dick isn't what matters. A dominant chick wouldn't make fun of you. She'd never ask you to leave just because you're not as big as she wanted. Sometimes, you'll have sex with them, and they won't even look at you. You can come and leave with your clothes on. But the feeling of gratification will be much better than a simple orgasm. You won't understand it till you try."

My mouth was a little dry. And my dick was hard. I've never heard someone saying something that made so much sense to me. It had to be Lee. He should be submissive too. Of course! He should know how bad it feels to be small better than me. Being submissive helped him.

"I wonder if I'll ever find a chick like that. Sometimes, they scare me. I think all they want is my dick."

"Not all of them. You just need to find the right one. Maybe you need to adjust your behaviour first. This way, they'll recognize you and come for you."

"How do I do that?"

"Hanging out with your friend Bernard is a good start..."

"But he's a man."

"It doesn't change much. You're learning how to be submissive. Being submissive to men or women is all the same when what matters is your training into submission. As I said, it's all about changing your behaviour. If you feel comfortable around him while you're submissive and he's dominant, then you're doing well."

"I don't know."

"We remember how you let all those guys cum on you..."

"I didn't let them..."

"Course you did. Did you ask them not to? Did you try to fight it? You accepted it because you wanted to help the team. In other words, you wanted to help all the guys that play volleyball here. You were pleasing them. And they are all men." Lee was right, but it wasn't easy to accept it. I liked to know I could help the team. I could help the guys. "Tell me one thing and be honest about it. Did you get hard when they did that to you?"

"No..." I was thinking. There was one time. "Once, in the beginning, with Bernard. He was saying what he'd like to do with chicks. I imagined I could be him..."

"It doesn't matter. See how everything is inside your head? If you look at it from a specific angle, you can get aroused. It doesn't make difference if they're men or women. It's all in your head. If you're with Bernard, then just focus on how good it is to please others. Forget about who you're pleasing. You like to please and that's it." Lee was leaning against the machine. His face was not far from mine. Although we were in a public space, that was a private talk. "Give it a try. Let him watch you. Then tell him that you don't need anything in exchange for your favour. You just want to help him because you like helping friends in need. Remember, it's all about him. Not you. Then focus on how good you feel when you're serving your friends. If you can get hard, amazing. That's what sexual pleasure is about."

I wasn't buying that idea yet, but Lee couldn't be wrong. He was so much wiser and had much more experience than me. If I didn't trust Lee, who would I trust?

"What else happened today? Did the captain say anything new?" He asked. I imagine he knew I was about to say I couldn't do that. Well, I had to think more about it. So, he was giving me the time to think.

"Weird shit. He said that if my cock is stopping me from bonding with them, then my cock is not my problem anymore. Now it's the team's problem too. He thinks I'll feel more comfortable if I let everyone know I'm tiny. I just don't think how this is gonna work. He wants me to buy small and tight shorts, so everyone can see I don't have a big package down there."

"Well, I'll be honest with you, I don't know how it will help you either, but he's your team's captain. He must know it better than us. Besides, you have no choice. You have to obey."

"That's so fucked up." Now we moved to the squat machine. "At least, I won't be the only one. He asked Juan to wear the same."

"Who's Juan?"

"The new guy. I hope that's only part of his ritual coz I've been through a lot worse than that. It wouldn't be fair."

"You shouldn't think about being fair anymore. Not like this. Remember, you're submissive. You like it when it seems like they have some advantage over you."

"I don't think I can like that..."

"Course you can. Imagine they're girls, right? Then they say you're there to make them cum, but you won't be allowed to have an orgasm. What would you think? Would you think it's not fair?"

"No. Probably, not. But it's different..."

"Remember and focus on one thing: that's training. Try to obey and always say yes. Complain less and think if that is keeping you excited. I'm sure you love it when they praise you."

I hated to admit it, but I did. I nodded.

"Hey, it ain't gay to like compliments. It isn't gay to do as you're told. Stop thinking about how gay it sounds. If you get off because you're serving guys, be happy about it. When you come to serve girls, maybe you will feel better. Maybe not. But then you'll be prepared to be a nice submissive man for them. They'll have fun playing with your ass, and you'll like it when they do. With time, you'll forget you have a small dick. That will never be an issue anymore."

Again, I could only imagine that such an approach had been successfully used by Lee and he was now this nice confident guy. I could only think that his dick should look even smaller on him since he was well more muscled than me. His dick should be invisible in the middle of mountains of muscle. I could understand him. And he understood me too.

"So, you think it can work with me too?"

"Of course. It does work. Trust me." It's funny how the way he said `trust me' sounded like Karl. "Are you gonna buy the new shorts?" he asked.

"What shorts?"

"You said your captain asked you to walk in short tight shorts, isn't that right? Are you going to buy them?"

"Yeah, I have to."

"I can give you a ride if you want. We can go to the mall once we're done here. We can bring the new guy with us too. He must need to buy it too."

"Juan?"

"Yeah. I've received messages from Craig before, I'll ask him to let Juan know about it. Ok?"

"I don't even know the guy..."

"Remember. Agree more and complain less. Think that by saying yes, you're making someone happy. And you want to make people happy."

I wasn't disagreeing with him. I just couldn't understand very well what he meant by making people happy. That is the concept that I needed to grasp before changing my behaviour.

"Anyway, save my words," Lee said. "It will take you a long time and effort to understand who you are and what you like and dislike. I don't think you will do what I asked you to do. I don't think you absorbed not even 10% of what I told you here, but that's ok. I can see that we'll talk about this over and over again, and still, you'll feel like nothing has changed. It's normal. I want you to think that this is normal. I'll always be here for you, ok? We can always talk. You can always be honest with me. Any transformation takes time. The ride is bumpy, and we can't see the end, but we'll get there."

Lee sounded a little philosophical. I couldn't understand what he wanted to say. But I got that he was a person I could trust. He would be there for me.

When I finished my training, I needed another shower. Lee, however, said I could do that later because we wouldn't have much time in the mall if we didn't leave now. I had a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that I put on before going with Lee to his car. We were going to pick up Juan first though. I didn't want that to happen, but I didn't want to complain anymore. It couldn't hurt to do as Lee suggested and see how I'd feel if I stopped complaining and started saying yes to everyone as part of my training. I didn't know whether I was a submissive man, but something told me I was. And, honestly, I wanted to be. It may sound weird, but what I learned with Lee is that submissive men don't need to worry about their dicks. My dick was my main embarrassment. I wanted to know what it was like to live without such a burden and still have chicks coming for me even when they knew that my neighbours and the rest of the world had dicks bigger than mine.

"What are you thinking?" Lee asked when we drove inside the campus to where Juan lived. I didn't know where it was, but apparently, Craig had instructed Lee.

"I still don't know how chicks will hang out with me when they know other guys have dicks bigger than mine. That's all."

"Are you still thinking about your dick, bud? It will only bring you pain. Try to forget you have one."

"How can I do that?"

"To start with, stop touching it. I bet you love jerking off, right?"

"Yeah..."

"I knew it. Every time you jerk off and touch yourself, you send a message to your brain. And it says, `hey, I'm still small.' This ain't helping you."

"I don't think I can stop. I'm a little addicted to it."

"Well, you can go on jerking off by yourself for the rest of your life, or you can stop it now and find a chick eventually. Like, you could look at the photos of those women on your wall and imagine yourself licking their cunts. You undress first, coz you gotta remember that they're gonna love watching your ass. And you'll love when they praise you for how round and nice it is. Let them see your ass. It may look silly in the beginning, but..."

"This is just training." I finished the sentence for him.

"Exactly." Lee smiled and punched my arm in a friendly way. "Imagine them saying your ass is amazing. Think they like to slap it a little, bite, pinch, kiss your ass. Then you ask them if they'd let you like them. After that, you can put your two fingers together like this," Lee pressed his indicator against his middle finger, "and lick in between. Pretend it's a pussy. You keep doing that and don't touch your dick, it doesn't matter what. Let's try it for a month? What do you say? For thirty days, you only touch your dick when you're peeing or taking a shower. And never touch it if you're hard. I'm sure it will help you to forget how small you are. Jerking off will only make you more neurotic."

"I can try. Yes, I can do that." I was fighting my will to say `I don't think I can' or something of the kind.

"That's surprising." Lee's smile grew a little wider. "You can do that. See? Good boy."

That made me happy, but it's the same happiness we feel when we succeed doing something, or when we receive a gift. No. I'm an introvert. I live in my own world that is centred on the notion that everyone is watching me all the time. Not only watching, but they're also judging and criticizing me. That's where I live. At the bottom of the will. At the top there are heads. People who can't stop gazing at me as if I were an experiment. When I'm praised, I feel like that atmosphere is being suspended. It's a brief moment, but it's long enough to let me breathe. I can lift and almost float for a few seconds. The judging eyes are shut during that time, and I'm not ashamed. That's what happiness means to me.

"What?" He asked. I think I didn't like the term `good boy.' I thought he wouldn't notice, but I was easy to read apparently.

"You sound like Bernard. Calling me boy. That's all."

"Oh, he calls you boy? That's good."

"How come that's good?"

"Well, it means he likes you. That, in his mind, you're part of the team. I used to be called a boy when I was younger. I learned that when you're the team's boy, you're like their little brother. You can annoy them sometimes, but they like you, coz you are family. You should feel glad he sees you as a boy. Just make sure Juan doesn't become the new boy of the team."

"I don't think he would. I'm the one who looks like a boy. He doesn't. He's taller than me, looks older too. His dick is also bigger..."

"Looking at other guys' dicks is good to make you feel more submissive, but don't let it put you down. Ok?"

"I'll try."

"As for how Bernard calls you boy, make sure you get Juan to do the same. If he calls you boy too, he won't become the team's new boy."

"How?"

"Easy. Ask him to."

"I'm not sure if I want him to call me boy. He would feel superior to me."

"Well, that's good for you too. If you feel a freshman is superior to you and learn to enjoy it, you're on the right way to becoming a good submissive boy. Besides, being a boy ain't that bad. I remember seeing guys being called girl, bitch, cunt. You should get them to call you boy before they change it to something worse. If Juan is the new boy, you may become a bitch. You said that they don't see you as a member of the team yet, so don't expect them to call you by your name."

"Bitch? Fuck! Yeah, boy ain't that bad."

"Told ya." Lee stopped the car. "Is that Juan over there?" He pointed at Juan who was waiting for us at the accommodation's door.

"Yeah." I opened my window and invited him in. Fuck, I was so nervous. Everything seemed so wrong, but as long as I had Lee I was in good hands.

End of chapter 4

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/gay/college/ranchs-bitch/ (ongoing)

/gay/college/from-straight-to-bitch-club (ongoing)

/gay/authoritarian/becoming-my-flatmates-bitch/ (ongoing)

/gay/highschool/a-bitchs-birth (complete)