This story contains portrayals of homosexual actions and lifestyles. There may be references to, or explicit descriptions of, sex between consenting adults.
If homosexuality, sexually explicit language, or swearing offends you, or if reading material that contains these topics violates any law or personal or religious beliefs, or if you under 18 years of age, please leave now, without proceeding further.
This story is entirely fictional, and any resemblances to actual persons are completely coincidental. Actual locations are mentioned, and are used for 'background' only.
Roy roynm@mac.com
Chapter 17
Alex left the Architecture building, and Professor Lewis with his endless questions about the class assignment. 'Doesn't that man have anything better to do with his time than harass people like me and Bob?' Alex walked to a nearby shaded bench and sat with a tired sigh. 'It's like he's picking on me for some reason.' Alex glanced up to see if his friend had finished yet. 'No telling what he'll tell Lewis. Never could keep his mouth shut, Bob. I never shoulda asked him to help me out. He's gonna screw up, I just know it.'
Alex watched as Brad Kelly walked up the ramp to the lecture hall talking with some guy he'd never seen before. Brad began laughing and patted his friend on the back. 'That's the kind of friendship I wanted with Jeff,' Alex thought, watching Brad enviously. 'Jeff has enough time to be friends with him, he thought, scowling. 'But he looked right through me.' Alex rubbed his open palms over his pant legs. Thinking of Jeff always made him anxious. 'I love the way Jeff smiles at the guys he's close to, his wonderful accent, and the way he looks in his shorts.' Alex rubbed his face trying to calm his unsteady breathing. 'I get a funny feeling just watching him.'
'I wanted to be friends, but Jeff acts so superior.' Alex realized he had fallen into the standard litany of Jeff's faults. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. 'I was hoping Jeff and I could become good friends, even better than Bob and me.' He bowed his head, closing his eyes. 'I'm not real good at making friends ... but I did try. I smiled at him. I even asked him how things were going one time. He grinned at me and said things were fine, but he seemed to be looking straight through me ... like I wasn't there! I heard people say he's shy, but he started hanging out with that Brad Kelly. He wasn't too shy to say hi to him!'
Alex looked up as his friend left the building. Bob stood for a moment in the bright sunlight looking around for Alex who sat quietly, waiting for Bob to find him.
'I'll make Jeff notice me,' Alex thought, clenching his fists. 'He could have been my friend, not Brad Kelly's. All he had to do was pay attention to me!' A shadow approached and then halted. Bob stood before him wearing a troubled expression.
"Was Lewis tough on you, bud?" Alex asked, scooting aside to make room on the bench for both of them.
"Nah, not really." Bob silently watched the people moving past for a few moments before turning to his friend. "I don't like it, Alex."
'Bob always straight forward,' Alex thought. 'He never hesitates when he wants to say something. Even if it's not very smart.'
"Why are we after this guy? Tell me again," Bob asked. It's got to be for more reasons than because you say he's gay. ... Besides, he doesn't seem to be bothered by our attention very much. What we've been doing is a lot of work and he doesn't seem to mind. He hardly even notices us.
"Yeah, that's just his problem," Alex muttered. He looked up to see Bob watching him with a dumbfounded expression.
"Well, maybe we should stop this whole thing. I mean, if what we're doing isn't bothering him what's the point? Besides, I've been watching Jeff and he doesn't look like a bad guy to me. Sorta shy, he is. You know what I mean? ... A loner."
"What?" Alex shouted. Bob leaned back, surprised at the one word outburst.
"Don't get all bent on me, Alex. You know exactly what I said. Also, I've been doing some thinking."
Alex snorted. "You'd better do it again. That thought's gonna get mighty lonely rattling around up there." He tapped Bob on the forehead with his finger, noticing a fleeting expression of hurt move across Bob's face. It was gone almost before he realized what he had seen. "And what, exactly ... have you been thinking about?" he asked, smiling slightly in hopes of mending his friend's feelings.
"Why do you say things like that to me, Alex? I've stuck by your side since I've known you." Alex shrugged, unrepentant. Bob waited to see if Alex would say something more, then leaned forward speaking in a low voice.
"I think we're doing something that's gonna hurt us more than this Jeff guy. He seems like an okay person. He's got lots of friends, and that professor Lewis gives me the creeps, showing up like he does whenever Jeff's around." Bob lowered his voice further. "Alex, listen to me. This was sorta fun when we started playing with his mind, like you said, but it's gone beyond that now. I see it in your eyes, Alex. You want to hurt him. That scares me. You've never done anything like that before. Why now?"
Alex crossed his arms, studying his friend. "Are you with me, Bob? There was no answer. "Bob, I asked if you were with me on this?"
"Alex, I don't know what you mean when you use the word this. I've always been by your side, you know that. But Alex, acting like we have been is gonna land us in deep shit. I don't know how or when, but I'm convinced it will ... if we continue. Let it go, Alex. Let the guy alone. He's not done anything to either of us to justify how we're treating him. And that guy that got out of his car the other night when we were at Jeff's house. He made it clear he saw us. Alex, I don't want to land in trouble." Bob paused, bowing his head.
"I'll follow you, Alex, but only so far. You're closer than a brother to me, but I'm afraid of where you're leading us. If it's where I think you're heading, I won't go there ... not even for you." Bob reached out in an effort to take his friend's shoulder. Alex jerked away, a steely expression on his face. "Please don't go there either, Alex. I don't want us to part ways over something like this."
Alex shifted preparing to stand. Bob reached out and pushed him back down. "Tell me why, Alex? Answer me that. Why are you after this Jeff guy? You say it's 'cause he's gay. Well so what! Who the fuck cares? He's not put the make on you, has he?" Alex sneered at Bob's question.
"Well then, what? Why now? You've known gay guys before. I know you have. Why does Jeff make you want to hurt him?"
"You don't know anything about it, Bob!"
"Well, maybe you're right, so tell me for Pete's sake." The two men sat in stony silence, staring at each other.
"Alex, I'm gonna say something and please don't get pissed, okay? Alex shrugged.
Bob took a deep breath then spoke slowly. "Are you hating Jeff because you're afraid you like him too much?"
"You lousy fucker!" Alex screamed, drawing the attention of everyone around. "How can you say something like that? You know me, Bob."
"I think I'm right, Alex, otherwise why get so worked up? If what I said is true, who the fuck cares? I don't! If you like the guy why don't you go up and introduce yourself? He's gonna be a grad assistant next year. Tell him you'd like to be in one of his classes. Ask him about his project. You know us architect-types. It doesn't take diddly to make us start talking. I'll bet the two of you can be friends."
"Shut up, Bob." Alex raised his hands as if to block his ears to keep him from hearing any more. They were shaking. He lowered them to his lap.
"I can't follow where you're going, Alex." Bob paused a moment until the passing students had moved on before he continued. Alex looked up at the sudden silence. "You've been telling me you hate Jeff because he's gay." Bob swallowed. "I don't think that's right. ... I think you're hating yourself because you are, and you don't know how to handle it."
Larry maneuvered his car through afternoon rush hour traffic, barely aware of the bumper-to-bumper congestion leading out of downtown Phoenix. Such traffic snarls were a daily occurrence for him, and over the years he had learned to not be irritated by them. He smiled, remembering the contentment he felt last night when he lay in Andrew's arms. The sex had been wonderful, but the feeling of Andrew snuggling up to his back and draping an arm over his chest had been even better. He remained awake long after Andrew had fallen asleep thinking what loving a man meant, and if what he felt for Andrew could be considered love. He was still trying to unravel his feelings when he fell asleep with the feel of Andrew's slow breathing on his neck.
He skirted the university campus and turned down the residential street, the evenly spaced palms forming a corridor down which he drove. As he paused at a school crosswalk Larry grinned to himself, remembering how he had walked back into the bedroom after started some coffee brewing. He had stood for a moment to admire the man he was spending so much time with. Someone in the car behind him tooted their horn, urging him to get his mind back on the road. As he accelerated, he recalled how Andrew had groaned a "good morning" while he stretched, throwing the bedclothes onto the floor, deliberately showing off.
"Hey, handsome," he said slyly glancing at Larry who stood at the side of the bed watching the show. "I'll let you play with my dick for a cup of coffee." Andrew shook his cock and spread his legs wide. Larry promised a cup of coffee would be ready shortly, to which Andrew smiled dreamily, muttering, "good. Until it's ready, let's play." He stretched once again, and then turned onto his stomach flexing the muscles of his butt, and asking Larry if he liked what he saw. Larry swatted the pale white skin once, leaving a five-fingered handprint on the flawless skin, startling Andrew who reached up and pulled him onto the bed.
'Yes,' Larry mused, driving slowly, thinking back to the early morning lovemaking, 'it has been a wonderful day.
He followed the curve of the street and saw Phalen jogging on the sidewalk ahead of him. He was taking long strides, his white t-shirt tucked into the waistband of his red running shorts. With each stride, his leg muscles bunched and the full split side-seam of the running shorts parted to reveal the curve of his butt and his all-over tan. Larry tooted his horn and returned Phalen's wave as he passed, admiring his son's broad back covered in a sheen of sweat.
Phalen came to a stop in front of the open garage door where Larry stood loosening his necktie. He greeted his father while he leaned over and placed his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. "How's the world treating you?" he panted. He wiped his face and chest with his t-shirt, his breathing slowly returning to normal.
"The world is treating me extraordinarily well," Larry replied, smiling. At Phalen's quizzical expression, Larry laughed and put his arm around Phalen's shoulders, drawing him close and hugging him. Phalen automatically embraced his father, pleased to see the continuing improvement in his father's mood over the past few weeks.
"What are you so happy about?" Phalen asked, releasing his father, but continuing to stand close. "Did you win a big case?"
"Better than that." Larry's smile broadened as Phalen raised his eyebrows. "Last night Andrew and I had sex, and we spent the night together."
"Alright, Dad!" Phalen cried, once again wrapping his arms around his father and hugging him. "Way to go!" He moved back a step and looked at his father closely. "From your expression, I guess it must have been way good, am I right?"
"Waaaaay good, Phalen. The absolute best."
"Woo hoo!" Phalen shouted, pumping his fist in the air. "Wait till Jeff hears! We've been worried about you, Dad. You spent the night together?" Phalen asked, his eyes sparkling above a blinding smile. "This is getting serious, huh?"
Larry shrugged. "I've been seriously horny, and last night helped." He smiled, then added. "Some." Phalen guffawed. "What's that sound for?" Larry asked. "I'm just like my son. I'm horny all the time!"
"Too true," Phalen continued to smile, slowly shaking his head from side to side as if admitting a sad truth. "It's a curse you and I have to learn to live with, I guess." He nudged his father with his elbow and the two men began laughing.
"How's life treating you?" Larry asked. "You're certainly looking good."
"Thanks, Dad. Life's good," Phalen responded immediately. "Jeff's good too." He paused a moment, becoming serious. "There is something I'd like to talk to you about though. "Nothing's wrong with Jeff and me, so don't get that worried look, but I'd like to talk."
"Sure, bud," Larry said, resting his arm across Phalen's shoulders. "If this has anything to do with Jeff though, it's going to have to wait. I see him walking toward us." Phalen turned and both men shouted a greeting to Jeff who waved. "Hey, Larry," he smiled as he approached, putting an arm around Phalen and pulling him close. Phalen snuggled against Jeff with a look of utter contentment.
"You smell like a locker room, lover," Jeff teased, comically sniffing in Phalen's direction. Phalen's smile brightened and he nudged Jeff with his hip.
"Yeah and you love it, don't you big man? Wanna smell?" he teased, holding the damp shirt in front of Jeff. Jeff grabbed the shirt and buried his face in it taking a long breath, sighing in pleasure as both Larry and Phalen laughed.
"Damn, you smell good." Larry had been watching closely as Jeff held Phalen's shirt to his nose, and didn't fail to notice when Jeff discretely shifted his penis which had begun to strain at the shorts he was wearing. Phalen noticed Jeff's movement as well, grabbing the shirt and hiding it behind his back.
"Enough, already!" he laughed. "You need to go for a swim to cool off. Dad and I will meet you in a few minutes, okay?"
"You go ahead, Phalen," Larry said, turning and walking toward his front door. "I need to change and check to see if Andrew called." He waved over his shoulder, acknowledging Jeff's instructions to forego ringing the doorbell, but to just come in whenever he was ready.
"Andrew?" Jeff asked as he and Phalen approached their house.
"Yeah, they spent the night together!" Phalen reported excitedly, walking along side. "I guess this Andrew guy's pretty nice. Dad seems to think so." Phalen turned to look at Jeff; surprised he once again had the sweaty t-shirt pressed to his nose. "Hey, you really do like that."
Jeff grinned and nodded. "Let's get inside fast. I want to spend a few minutes alone with the man who smells like this." He held up Phalen's shirt but snatched it back when Phalen grabbed for it. Jeff unlocked the courtyard door, holding it open as Phalen passed, then followed him through, closing the door and shutting out the world. Phalen headed for the front door to the house but Jeff grabbed his bare arm pulling him close and burying his face in the crook of Phalen's neck. After inhaling deeply he licked a broad swath over Phalen's neck and jaw tasting the salt of his perspiration and inhaling deeply before their mouths met. Both men had begun to breathe heavily by the time they broke their kiss.
"Damn," Jeff murmured, inches from Phalen's face. "You don't know how much I wanted to kiss you like that when I saw you talking with Larry wearing your running shorts and no shirt. You are sooooo sexy." He leaned back against the courtyard door, pulling Phalen to him, hooking his fingers in the waist band of the running shorts and easing them down over Phalen's stiffening cock and muscular ass before they dropped to the walkway. The two men continued to kiss while Jeff ran his palms over Phalen's butt, enjoying how the firm muscles filled his hands.
"Ohhhhh, Jeff," Phalen exhaled in a shuddering breath, reaching out to brace himself against the door as Jeff squatted in front of him. He swallowed the cock deep into his throat, burying his face in Phalen's pubes. This was not the sensuous love making Phalen normally experienced with Jeff. Today his tongue throat and hands were insistent and demanding as he continued to milk Phalen's cock and knead his butt with both hands.
In only minutes Phalen felt his orgasm approaching. "Ready, Jeff?" he groaned, rhythmically thrusting his hips forward to meet Jeff's face. He mumbled and pulled Phalen to him, squeezing his butt cheeks while he worked Phalen's cock with the muscles of his throat. "Here it is," Phalen hissed, jerking as the first jet of sperm shot down Jeff's throat. He groaned as his seed spewed into Jeff's mouth. The second shot was hastily swallowed before the third coated his tongue. Jeff continued to milk Phalen's cock until it began to soften, running his tongue through the remnants of Phalen's sperm and over the sensitive cock head. He finally let it slip out of his mouth and over his chin, dragging a strand of sperm with it. Another hung from Phalen's penis, swinging and stretching for the ground, only to be intercepted when Jeff caught it on his tongue. He licked his lips and breathed a sigh of contentment, beginning to nuzzle Phalen's testicles. Jeff inhaled deeply making low moaning sounds of pleasure as Phalen ran his fingers through his hair, encouraging him to take each smooth testicle into his mouth.
"Damn, you taste as good as you smell," Jeff said, licking his lips leaning back against the courtyard door. "I ..." He was interrupted by the courtyard door hitting him in the back as Larry tried to come in as he had been told to. "Just a second, Larry," Jeff called, motioning for Phalen to step back into his shorts. He stepped aside, allowing Larry to open the door wide enough to stick his head through.
"Am I interrupting something?" he asked slyly, breaking into a wide smile when he saw Phalen finish pulling on his shorts. "I can come back if you're not finished." Larry entered the courtyard, closing the door behind him. "Or I can stay ... and watch," he smiled, wiggling his eyebrows at Jeff who slapped him on the back and ushered him to the house.
"Sorry to say, the show's over for now," Jeff joked as he headed toward the bedroom, leaving Larry and Phalen standing in the nearby sunroom.
"I can hang around for the matinee performance," Larry called to Jeff, winking at Phalen. "It's really no trouble."
"Maybe some other time, Larry," Jeff hollered. "Phalen's sorta worn out after his long run." Phalen snorted. "Are you guys planning on joining me for a swim?" Jeff continued to shout. "Strip off and let's get in the water. I was always told not to swim after I've eaten, but I'm going to ignore the warning today." Phalen looked at his father and rolled his eyes.
"We'll join you later," Larry said, moderating his voice as Jeff walked out of the bedroom carrying a white towel and absently running a hand over his chest. Larry paused, admiring Jeff's lightly tanned body with it's spread of black chest hair. The hair narrowed before it fanned out once again to frame Jeff's cock. His penis was swaying from side to side, not totally erect, but still feeling the effects of his earlier encounter with Phalen in the courtyard. Phalen's eyes went first to Jeff before shifting to his father who seemed to be mesmerized by the sight of Jeff. Larry cleared his throat and continued. "You go ahead. Phalen and I want to visit for a while."
"Suit yourself," Jeff said, heading toward the back yard carrying his towel at his side, the muscles of his butt flexing with each step.
"Nice ass!" Larry called. Jeff looked over his shoulder as he opened one of the doors to the pool deck and wiggled his butt from side to side. Phalen wolf whistled and Jeff trotted across the pool deck and dived into the pool, beginning his work out.
Larry and Phalen stopped briefly in the kitchen for something cold to drink and then headed outside to the patio. "You wanted to talk?" Larry asked, moving a chair into the shade. Phalen sat across from his father and took a long drink from his bottle of water, sighing in satisfaction. While Phalen drank, Larry had turned to watch Jeff effortlessly slice through the water with strong strokes of his arms and legs. Phalen silently watched his father before turning to watch as Jeff executed a turn, pushing off the pool's side with a splash.
"You wanted to talk?" Larry prompted, turning back to Phalen and raising his eyebrows in inquiry.
"Yeah, but I'm going to wait until Jeff's with us for part of it."
"Okay," Larry said slowly. "Is there something just the two of us need to discuss?" Phalen nodded once but continued to sit in silence for a few moments, collecting his thoughts and toying with his water bottle, his eyes unfocused. He glanced toward Jeff then turned back at his father.
"You love him too don't you, Dad?" Phalen asked, watching his father closely. "I'm not talking about how you love me ... as a son ... but how I love him ... as a lover." Larry sat motionless before he swallowed and nodded once, not breaking eye contact with Phalen.
"I'm afraid I do, Phalen." Larry sat back in his chair, rubbing his face and running his fingers through his hair. He puffed out his cheeks and released a slow stream of air. "I've tried not to, Phalen ... but trying doesn't seem to change anything. I've been tearing myself up over how I feel." Larry studied his son's serious expression, leaning forward and reaching across the table to rest his hand on Phalen's.
"Look at me, son," Larry urged quietly. Phalen looked at his father grinning slightly, resting his other hand on top of his father's. Larry sighed in relief, knowing if Phalen were truly upset he would not be seeking physical contact.
"Phalen," Larry said slowly. "I hope you realize I would never act on my feelings for Jeff ... even if he would allow it." Phalen squeezed his father's hand. "I'm a little mixed up right now." ... Larry snorted. "No, a better way to put it is I'm very mixed up, but I am doing better." Phalen grinned, continuing to hold his father's hand, once again bowing his head.
"Phalen, please look at me," Larry coaxed gently. "The two of us are not competing for Jeff's affection. You guys belong together. I am now and always will be Jeff's friend ... never anything more. Do you understand?" Larry leaned closer. "Phalen, for my own sanity, I have to hear your thoughts." Larry watched Phalen idly shift his water bottle from side to side, his eyes unfocused.
He finally looked up with a crooked grin. "I believe you, Dad. I know what you say is true." Phalen watched the froth on the pool, glimpsing tanned shoulders and black hair as Jeff executed another turn.
"Does Jeff know ... how you feel about him?"
Larry bowed his head and nodded. "Yes." He chewed his lower lip then plunged on. "When I told him how I felt he gently told me how much he cares for me ... and then he told me how much he loves you. ... I wasn't trying to take Jeff away from you, Phalen. I ..." Larry paused, releasing Phalen's hand, leaning back in his chair and tilting his head back. "I don't really know what I expected. At the time I thought telling him of my feelings was the right thing to do." Larry ruefully laughed in recollection. "He was wonderful. He told me in no uncertain terms exactly what his feelings toward me are. Like I said, he loves you with his entire being." Larry turned to watch Jeff continue his work out. "We should all be as fortunate as you."
Larry turned back to his son who had sat back, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Phalen, are things going to be okay ... between us ... since you know how I feel about Jeff?"
Phalen looked at his father in mild surprise. "Of course things are okay, Dad. Everything's cool." Phalen took another drink of water, setting the bottle on the table, once again idly turning it in a circle while his father watched in silence. "Dad," he finally said, looking up. I see how you look at Jeff. ... It's with longing." Phalen bowed his head and absently chewed on his lip. "What needs to happen for you to stop torturing yourself like you have been?"
Larry shrugged slightly. "I think the fact that you now know what I feel will go a long way towards that end. Phalen, I've felt ... soiled, as if I've been doing something behind your back, even though all I've done is fantasize!" Larry's voice caught and he tried to cover it by taking a drink. "Now I won't have that hanging over me. Of course, it would be great if I met someone with whom I could share my life." Larry massaged the back of his neck, looking away, purposely not looking in Jeff's direction.
"Phalen, I don't think you can understand what it's like to feel as if you're getting too old for anyone to be interested in you." Phalen opened his mouth to protest but was stopped when Larry continued speaking. "I know, I know, I'm not old, I'm just feeling old." Larry looked up and grinned, "I certainly didn't feel old last night!" Phalen smiled brightly. "Whew!" Larry laughed, shaking his head in wonderment. "But there's something even better than the sex. ... When Andrew and I were together I felt cared for. I experienced a type of physical and emotional satisfaction I've never felt before." He leaned forward. "Even so, you were right. Sex is much better than masturbation!" Both Larry and Phalen laughed in agreement and at the lessening of tension between them. They continued to sit in companionable silence while Jeff swam. Finally, Phalen looked up and asked.
"This guy you're seeing, is he a good guy?"
Larry nodded briefly. "He is. Yes. ... There's a problem though." Larry grinned at his son. "I continue to compare him with Jeff and you. You guys are the ideal for me. I want what you guys have so badly. I've thought about it ... a lot. I'm hoping my feelings for Andrew develop ... and his for me, so we can share something even better than what we had last night." Larry shrugged. "Hell, I might not know the right thing if it landed in my lap."
"You'll know, Dad. There won't be any doubt in your mind." Phalen propped his feet up on an adjacent chair, smiling at his father and holding up a finger in warning. "You've gotta be prepared though, 'cause when it happens you'll need to move fast or the opportunity might just pass you by. When you get the feeling that 'this is it', nothing else should be important to you except your future happiness, and the other guy's of course." Phalen laughed self- consciously. "Here I am giving advice to my father."
"You're a bright man, Phalen."
"No, not really. I say what I feel. You interpret it to fit your situation." Phalen smiled brightly. "I'm sorta like that lady in ancient Greece who sat on a tall stool, breathing in some sort of smoke and told people's fortunes." He looked at his father, his eyes twinkling. "You know who I'm talking about?" Larry nodded, smiling at his son's infectious good humor.
"I'm a lot like her, except I don't need the smoke. It was probably a gimmick anyhow. He shrugged slightly. Well, this lady said stuff too, and everyone interpreted what she said however they wanted." He got a far way look for a moment. "Musta been the smoke. Maybe they were all a little high." He shrugged once again and chuckled. "'Course, I'm not a girl either."
"No kidding!" Larry laughed. "I've noticed a couple times. You're definitely a man!"
Phalen's eyes became unfocused and he started swaying back and forth beginning to speak in a singsong voice. "Laaaaary," he said. "It's my advice for you not to get that lottery ticket you were thinking of buying." Phalen swayed some more. "Don't waste your money. ... You won't win."
Larry guffawed and Phalen began giggling, his eyes widening when Larry stood and rounded the table to begin tickling him. Phalen struggled, shrieking in delight. He quieted when Larry leaned over his back and hugged him, resting his cheek next to his son's.
"I love you, you know that?" Larry murmured into Phalen's ear, squeezing him tighter.
"Yep, for sure, Dad." Phalen turned his head and kissed his father's cheek. "Never doubted it for a minute. I feel the same way about you."
After dinner the three men sat around the table near the pool enjoying each other's company and the sounds of the evening. The candles in their glass enclosures had burned low, allowing the lights from the swimming pool to cast watery shadows onto the ceiling of the patio. Phalen scooted his chair close to Jeff's and they held hands, their shoulders touching. The three men quietly enjoyed the easy companionship that had developed over the past months.
"Dad, did Jeff tell you he's being stalked?" Phalen casually asked his father, breaking the silence.
"Oh, Phalen . . . " Jeff groaned, tilting his head back in exasperation. "We've been having a nice evening. Why bring them up?"
"Cause," Phalen answered, unrepentant, his voice serious.
"Stalked?" Larry sat his half-empty beer bottle down with a clink and leaned forward. He moved his dinner plate to the side and rested his forearms on the table.
Phalen looked at Jeff who gestured for him to continue. "Yes. It's serious enough for one of his professors to send him to the campus cops to tell them about it." Larry turned to look at Jeff who nodded slowly, confirming the story.
"Other than speaking with campus security, what else have you done to stop this behavior? Have you told anyone else?"
"I've done all I can, Larry," Jeff said in resignation. "The campus police know what's going on, and the people at the architecture school since both guys seem to be architecture students. Oh, and Brad knows of course. So does my psychiatrist. The guys are not being very secretive about what they're doing. The fact that they're being so public about it makes me think they're trying to unnerve me more than anything."
"Brad?" Larry asked, looking first at Jeff then Phalen.
"One of Jeff's architecture friends," Phalen answered. "Cute guy. Dark hair, green eyes, a nice smile. Kinda looks like Jeff, huh big man?" Phalen teased, nudging Jeff with his shoulder.
Jeff grinned and shrugged. "Sort of, I guess," Jeff drawled. "Except, I'm the one with the personality." He laughed, hoping he would be able to divert the subject away from stalkers and police.
"Listen to him, Phalen," Larry laughed, throwing his crumpled napkin at Jeff, who snatched it out of the air. "Where's the retiring, self-effacing man we've always known? This guy looks like Jeff, but he sounds like a different person!"
"Big changes, huh Dad?" Phalen smiled, then turned a mischievous glance at Jeff before adding in a conspiratorial tone of voice, leaning closer to his father. "When we're alone, he's an animal!"
"Grrrrrr," Jeff growled, then laughed and reached out to tickle Phalen. When he realized what Jeff intended Phalen grabbed his hand, holding tightly until Jeff relented.
"Seriously, guys," Larry said, determined not to let Jeff derail the subject of being stalked.
"Larry, I am serious," Jeff continued. "They're not going to run my life. That's what they're hoping to do, I think. If that's what they want it's not going to happen."
"That's called sisu, (SEE-sue) Dad," Phalen grinned. "I said it right?" Jeff squeezed Phalen's hand and nodded.
"Sisu?" Larry asked, perplexed, turning to Phalen for an explanation.
"Courage, determination, fortitude." Jeff answered.
"Balls," Phalen responded a second later. "Jeff's got 'em" Everyone was silent a moment, watching Phalen. "Well," he said, in self- defense. "He's got courage too!" He paused a moment, looking at his father then at Jeff. "Why are you guys looking at me like that?"
Larry turned to Jeff flicking a glance back at Phalen who grinned before breaking into a smile. "I wonder," Larry mused, staring into the distance.
"What?" Jeff asked, reaching out for Phalen's hand.
Larry's attention returned to the men across the table from him. He cleared his throat. "I was standing by my darkened living room window last night when I was waiting for Andrew. I noticed what I thought were a couple people walking down the street." Jeff's eyes got bigger and he grasped Phalen's hand. "When Andrew arrived he noticed them too. They were apparently standing in front of your house. Andrew stood outside his car to see what they might be up to and to make sure they knew they had been seen. He told me he didn't think they looked like they belonged in the neighborhood. He said they stood looking at each other and after a couple moments before they walked up the street." Larry leaned on the table clasping his hands together. "I didn't think anything more about it since he said they had walked away. He said they were just standing in front of your house, apparently having some sort of argument." Larry looked at Jeff. "Do you think we might be talking about the same guys?"
Jeff nodded, tilting his head back and rubbing his face. "Damn, now they know where I live," he groaned. "I guess I'll have to tell the campus police about this," he continued, bowing and shaking his head.
"Are you frightened, Jeff?" Larry asked. "Should I see what I can do to help out?"
Jeff snorted at Larry's question, leaning back in his chair. "Yes, I'm frightened and no, I don't want you to do anything unless I ask, okay?" Larry nodded slowly, glancing once at Phalen. "They're not going to beat me, Larry," Jeff continued. If they want me to live in fear I'm not going to let them have what they want. I've lived in misery too long. This is where it ends." Jeff released Phalen's hand and leaned forward. "I've got to take charge of my life eventually. Now's the time." He turned toward Phalen noticing a gleam in his eyes before turning back to Larry.
'"Just a minute ago you said I'm a different person than I was a few weeks ago." He paused a moment. "You're right! I am. And I like the change." He sat back, letting out a puff of breath, looking slightly abashed at the vehemence of his words.
"I'm so proud of you Jeff." Phalen leaned close and hugged him. "You're my hero, you know?"
Jeff smiled sheepishly, turning to Phalen. He raised his hand and ran a finger over Phalen's cheek, forgetting Larry's presence. "Thanks, lover. You're the only person who looks at me and sees a hero. Everyone else sees an ordinary guy who's trying to keep the world from overwhelming him. I'm no different than everyone else."
"Whatever," Phalen murmured. "My hero, nonetheless." He kissed Jeff's hand. "For sure," he said sitting back, once again noticing his father.
"Dad! ... I forgot you were here!"
"Geez, me too," Jeff mumbled, clearing his throat. "Uh ... it looks like everyone needs fresh drinks," he said, quickly looking around the table. "I'll get them." He stood, putting his hands in the pockets of his shorts and hustled inside, his bare feet silent on the brick floor.
Larry watched Jeff walk into the house, becoming serious again. "Are you worried about these stalkers, Phalen?" Larry asked in a low voice.
"Very," Phalen answered in the same tone, "but I can't let him see it. His growth is so fragile, Dad. I worry that these guys might push him back to how he was before he began counseling. If that happens, I'm not sure he'll ever recover. He talks tough, and I think he really believes what he's saying." Phalen paused. "None of us though, can really say how we're going to react if we're faced with a threatening situation." Phalen scooted forward in his chair, leaning closer to his father. "Dad, Jeff's never been in an environment where there was conflict, not at home, not at school, not in athletics or in our relationship. Never having faced conflict, I wonder how he'll respond if he needs to stand up for himself." He sat back in his seat, his arms hanging limply at his sides, his legs stretched out in front of him. "I give him all the support I can while trying not to dwell on what's happening. I joke around because I don't want him to start building the situation into something larger than it already is. It's tough to know what to do . . . or say." Phalen looked up and smiled. "I'm glad he spoke with the police, and that he's got Brad to stand with him at school. Brad's a great guy. He's been keeping an eye out for Jeff for quite a while."
"I also wanted you to know what's happening," Phalen continued, "but I didn't want to go behind Jeff's back to tell you. That's why I decided to bring it up this evening and not earlier. I wanted Jeff to be here and know he's got another ally."
"Dad," Phalen looked away as if gathering his thoughts. "Jeff has lived his entire life immersed in major problems. I don't know if I would have had the courage to face the world like he has. His happiness means so much to me and yet I don't feel as if I can help him face either his sexual abuse or these stalker guys."
"I think he has to face both of them on his own," Phalen continued. "He needs to believe in his ability to overcome adversity and show some 'sisu' like he tells me his dad would say. If he gets too much help or advice, he's going to question his ability to make decisions on his own." Phalen flopped back in his chair, looking exhausted. "I sure am glad you and the cops know what's going on ... for sure."
Both men looked up in surprise at a noise coming from inside the house.
"Phalen," Jeff yelled. "I'm singing!"
"Well, stop!" Phalen yelled back, laughing. "We're still trying to eat out here! Stick to what you're good at."
"I'll stop singing if you stop talking about me," Jeff teased, carrying out some more drinks. Phalen held up his hands in surrender, shaking his head in resignation. The remainder of the evening passed without any mention of being stalked, though from time to time Larry would watch Jeff closely. Phalen was right, Jeff didn't seem to be concerned ... at least visibly.
The moon had risen, its pale light mingling with the moving shadows cast by the pool lights when Jeff yawned and stretched. "Well men, I've got to get to bed. I have a presentation tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep."
"Is that what it takes to be a good architect, Jeff?" Larry laughed, taking a final swallow from his beer, folding his napkin and standing.
"Yep," Jeff laughed. "Sleep and an abundance of innate charm!
"Spare us, please," Phalen laughed, circling the table to hug his father. "Glad to hear about you and Andrew. Phalen leaned. "You could have told us the sordid details though. I like dirty stories." He giggled when Larry playfully punched him on the shoulder.
"I'm not the only one with a heavy schedule tomorrow. You've got school tomorrow too, young man," Jeff teased, reaching out to pat the top of Phalen's head.
"Yes Mom. I've got my homework done too, and don't pat my head," Phalen laughed, batting away Jeff's hand. If you want to pat something, pat my butt."
"Geez, Jeff. He doesn't hold anything back, does he?" Larry laughed, heading into the house, followed by Jeff and Phalen.
"Oh yes he does." Jeff put his arm around Phalen's waist, pulling him close. "You don't know the half of it, Larry!"
Phalen turned to him, his eyes wide. "What are you talking about? You're the wild man."
"Don't say any more, Phalen." Larry covered his ears in mock distress. "I don't need to know all of the details."
"Why?" Phalen persisted. "He is wild. I always thought athletes had endurance ... but Jeff ..."
"Phalen!" Jeff shouted. "Enough!"
"That's exactly what I scream." He turned to his father, warming to the subject, gesturing expansively, his fingers spread wide, his eyes twinkling and his smile bright. "But does he listen?"
Larry grabbed Phalen, putting his hand over his son's mouth. "Jeff, do you happen to have any duct tape? I know what I'd like to do with it."
Phalen twisted free of Larry's hand. "Sure we do, Dad. It's in the bedroom. We used it the other night, didn't we, Jeff?" Phalen was laughing so hard he had to lean against Jeff for support.
In spite of himself, Larry began laughing. "I'm outa here, guys! Jeff, I'll leave him for you to handle." Larry rushed through the entry door, closing it behind him and waved as he crossed the courtyard.
~ To be continued ~
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment on this story. I've been overwhelmed at the response to 'Phalen,' and love to hear from each of you.
If you would like me to send you a pic of the guys that inspired the main characters in this story, email me. I'd also be curious to learn which of the characters is your favorite and why. I've been surprised at the results.
Sisu (SEE-sue) Mina rakastan sinua (I love you) Mita (what) Anteeksi (I'm sorry)
A special thanks to Larry S. for his assistance with the Finnish language, and for being a good friend. Thanks also to Evan Bradley for his continuing encouragement, and for helping me make 'Phalen' a better story, and lastly to Gwynne Yee, for her daily doses of humor, and insight into the behavior of the characters.
A number of readers have written asking for the correct pronunciation of the character's names. They are: Phalen (FAY-lin) Kerin (KEAR-in) Thian (THE as in Theater (THE-in)
Thanks for reading.
Roy roynm@mac.com