Picking Up the Pieces

By Jessica Taylor

Published on Feb 21, 2001

Gay

Author's notes-- Okay in honor of Brian's birthday I am giving everybody TWO, yes two chapters of Picking Up the Pieces. Doesn't everybody feel the birthday spirit?

Okay I have something serious that I need to address. Lately there has been alot of plagiarism on the net. I've heard that some of Mathew Time's stuff has been stolen, as well as two really gifted 'N Sync slash writters, Bohemia and NSyncgrrl. Hell NSyncgrrl was so pissed that she took down her whole entire site for a few days becasue one girl litterally took one of her stories word for word and posted it as her own. ...Where is this going? I just want y'all to be aware of these crimes and to go to this site: www.envy.net/tariana/ All responsible writers and readers need to come together and make sure this comes to a stop. It undermines the whole reason why writers like myself write these stories, which is to feel the pride in writing these stories that people enjoy (and hate at times) and the feedback we recieve (...by the way my email is Midnight_Violet18@hotmail.com, just in case you didn't know).

On a totally random note... I've managed to scare myself yet again. Remember my little chapter where the guys were on Rosie, and I had basically made Rosie into a person that didn't harbor any hatred towards gays? Well... I was watching Rosie recently and she was doing a 'guest updates' episode... and the people who introduced Rosie that day were the gay couple who had published that book about adopting. Then when Rosie came out she was all pleseant with them and they had a very nice conversation, which totally suprised me becuase I had no idea until then how she felt about the gay population. Scary... maybe I was a psychic in a past life or something...

Disclaimer-- No not mine, cause if they were they'd be locked up in cages in my basement, but alas they are on tour. Under 18 bad, over 18 good.

Special Disclaimer for Cameos --In this chapter I have 'N Sync and Miss Spears making a guest appearance so here comes my special disclaimer for them... No N Sync ain't gay, even though Lance and JC give off too many of those damn 'gay vibes', and I have no idea how Britney would react in the situation she is in in the story.

Shouts go out to all the people who've emailed me.

Grammys manana... everybody better be watching them... and here's hoping Backstreet gets the Grammy they're up for. (N Sync can win all the others.)

Oh and there's a song in this chapter. As much as I wish, the lyrics aren't mine, their my email buddy's Jacqueline. So if you want me to tell her if you like the lyrics, email me and I'll pass the word along to her.

Rambling over... Chapter 10 now

Two days later the Backstreet Boys sat in the backstage tent area in Florida State Park, waiting for their co-performers, 'N Sync and Britney Spears. The eleven of them were getting together at the park to perform in an open-air concert to benefit VH1's 'Save the Music' campaign. Lance had actually come up with the idea a while ago, and had asked the guys of Backstreet if they would do it with them. The five of them easily agreed, with Jive gobbling up the idea immediately, giving it as much press as possible. The concert itself was going to be rather laid back, with the guys only performing slower, more melodic songs to keep in theme with the calm surroundings of a park.

And now the five members of the Backstreet Boys sat in various places in the large 'backstage tent', not saying much, but living in a semi-comfortable silence. Nick and Kevin were still avoiding each other as much as possible, as was evident by the fact that the two of them were literally on other sides of the tent. AJ and Brian were sitting on a couch, watching the TV in the room, while Howie was reading a book, using one of the few times he actually had the time to read to his advantage.

The silence was broken by loud laughter and someone saying, "Ha ha we won."

Then another painting voice added, "You guys suck."

As Brian, AJ, and Howie were listening closely to the ruckus outside, the three of them heard the unmistakable voice of Justin Timberlake. "Wait a second C, I thought you and Scoop did." Which was followed by three voice laughing hysterically.

"Shut up Curly." Joshua Chasez said as he pushed Justin and he appeared in the opening of the tent.

"Well if it isn't the marvelous boys of 'N Suck and Miss Spears." AJ laughed as Chris Kirkpatrick, Joey Fatone, Lance and JC walked into the tent, following Justin as he sat down on a chair. Britney came in trailing the group, and sat down right on Justin's lap.

"And the Backdoor Boys, what a surprise." Chris said as he sat down next to AJ and Brian on the couch.

After the informal greeting, Justin looked around the tent and saw Kevin and Nick on separate sides of the tent, lost in their own little worlds. "Hey Rok, what's up with those two?" he asked as he pointed to Kevin and Nick.

"Long version or short?" Brian asked as all of the guys of 'N Sync and Britney looked at Brian and AJ on the couch.

"Since there is a long version, that's probably means its really long, so the short version 'ill do." Joey said from his place near the TV.

"Easiest way to put this..." Brian trailed off. But before he could finish, AJ interrupted him.

"Nick loves Kevin, Kevin doesn't know whether or not he loves Nick. Avoidance of the issue to the extreme is their solution." AJ said quickly.

All six newcomers winced at AJ's synopsis. "Dang... that's bad." Chris said.

"No shit." Howie stated.

"How long has it been going on?" Lance asked.

"About a week." Brian sighed.

"Fun." Justin stated under his breath.

"Oh yeah, loads of fun." AJ said sarcastically.

For a few moments there was complete silence in the tent, except for the slight buzz of the TV and the people coordinating the event outside. "I want to talk to him." Lance said suddenly.

"Who?" Brian asked.

"Nick."

"Are you sure you know what you're doing James?" Josh asked his boyfriend.

"Yup." Lance said as he nodded his head and gave Josh a small kiss on the cheek. Disentangling himself from JC, Lance walked over to Nick and waved his hand in front of his face. "Nick? Nick, come back down to earth."

"Hey Lance." Nick said distractedly.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hey, where's the best place for me and Nicky over here to have a private conversation?" Lance asked the three guys of Backstreet.

"There's this small wardrobe tent a few yards down from this one on the right." Brian told Lance.

"Sounds perfect." Lance said as he took Nick's hand and started dragging him towards the wardrobe tent. After checking to make sure no one was inside the tent, Lance led Nick inside. Nick sat down on one of the folding chairs inside the tent.

"So I hear that you're having some problems with Kevin." Lance said as he took another folding chair and faced it towards Nick, straddling the chair backwards.

"Yeah." Nick sighed.

"Mixed signals and he doesn't know what he wants?" Lance asked.

"Kind of."

"What do you mean kind of?"

"Well um..." Nick cheek's turned slightly pink. "I got drunk and kissed him."

"That's all?" Lance asked, slightly laughing.

"What do you mean that's it? I kissed him."

"Nick, there are worse things you can do."

"Like what?"

Lance blushed slightly. "I'm not gonna get into that."

"Oh really?" Nick said, a slight smile on his lips.

"Yes." Lance stated firmly. "Now your big problem is where do you go from the drunken kiss am I right?"

"No. I know my feelings about Kevin." Nick stated firmly.

"And they are?"

"I love him."

"Okay then." Lance exhaled. "And now Kevin's running away am I right?"

"Yeah." Nick sighed.

"Nick, you and I are more alike than we'd care to admit." Lance sighed.

"What?"

"Josh was the same exact way. Avoidance is his big thing too. Didn't want to talk to me, was holed up in his room and wrote music for days. Justin and the other guys were getting sick of it."

"So what'd you do?"

"I told him."

"What do you mean you told him? Told him what?" Nick asked.

"Me and the rest of the guys cornered him before he could retreat into his room one time after an appearance and I told him everything I could. Told him I loved him, had for god knows how long, and that he shouldn't be scared of it. Love is more important than anything."

"Like I could do that." Nick sighed as he slumped into his chair.

"You can Nick. How do I put this... you just have to get the balls to do it." Lance laughed slightly at his analogy.

Nick laughed slightly too. "Yeah."

Lance looked at his watch. "Come on man, we've got a sound check to do." Lance said as he got up from the chair.

"Let's do this thing." Nick said as the two of them walked over to the outdoor stage.


"... come what may." Brian sang out as the rest of us ran backstage to allow 'N Sync to come on. The basic way the concert was running was that Britney did some of her songs, then we did a set of about 5 songs, then 'N Sync came on, then we just did, and now 'N Sync was coming on to do three songs off their upcoming album and then everyone would do two big songs together, 'Show Me the Meaning...' and 'I Drive Myself Crazy'.

But what was a secret to all the fans, that is until now, was that right before 'N Sync came out to do their final set, Justin and Britney were going to do a long awaited duet together. We found out that it was some song that JC had written when he and Lance were fighting, but JC thought it would be perfect for Justin and Britney to do. So they were going to do it.

Everyone was standing backstage as the lights came back on, showing the audience only two stools prepped onto the stage. Taking a deep breath, Justin walked casually onto the stage, preparing the small introduction the guys of 'N Sync had made for the song.

"So how's everybody doing out there tonight?" Justin asked as he took one of the mikes from its holder. A large ear-piercing scream was his response. "I can't hear you. I said, how's everybody doing out there tonight." The audience screamed louder, if that was even possible.

"As you can see there are only two stools out right now, and there's a reason for that. No the backstage crew didn't miscount, we have something special for you tonight." Justin said as the crowd immediately hushed at the prospect of something special planned out for them.

"You all know that JC writes his own music right?" Justin asked the crowd. Of course, the crowd screamed in response. "Well JC wrote this one piece with a certain person in mind... well actually a certain couple in mind." Justin laughed silently at the implication to that comment that no one in the audience understood. "And he asked me if I would sing it, knowing the kind of sound he wanted."

As soon as Justin finished, Britney walked out onto the stage. "Well this song is about a guy who screwed up but he still loves his girl, and hopes to find her again someday, to at least let him know that she's alright for his own piece of mind." She said as she sat down on one of the two stools. The audience I don't think had caught on to the fact that Britney and Justin were the only ones singing the song, because they were still rather quiet.

Justin sat down next to Britney on the other available stool and said into the mike, "This is 'Searching For You'." as he placed the mike back into the stand.

The lights went down for a second, and the screams went up, the crowd awaiting the duet. Three dim spotlights went up, focusing on the only pair onstage. As the keyboard started out with a rather haunting melody, I saw Justin take a deep breath and start the song.

"When I'm out on the stage,

I look in the crowd to see

if I can find your face

You're not here with me

And I feel so alone."

A string orchestra was introduced into the song as Britney sang her part.

"Everywhere that I go

I'm always searching for you

The fans show their love

and it helps keep me together,

But inside I still feel alone."

There was a small bridge featuring the keys, orchestra and now a smooth guitar riff in the background as the two of them came in together to sing the chorus.

"Where did you go

Why don't you call

and let me know that you're alright

I know that we're no longer together

There's still a place in my heart

Where you'll always be

If you're out there

Pick up the phone, send me a letter

and let me know that you're alright."

The background music got slightly louder as Justin came in to sing again.

"I know this life on the road is hard."

With Britney coming in immediately after,

"But we've always worked things out."

The background died down 'till only the orchestra was left as the two sang together.

"Then one day I returned to find that

you were gone

And I was standing here in this empty house

not knowing how to start moving on

Now I look everywhere just to see your face."

The orchestra died out and the guitar replaced it, continuing the melody played by the keyboard and Justin started singing the closing verses.

"Where did you go

Why don't you call

and let me know that you're alright"

Britney sang the next verse, her voice starting soft, but growing in intensity as the melody became louder.

"I know that we're no longer together

There is still a place in my heart

where you'll always be."

Justin came in soon after, matching Britney perfectly in her intensity as the song was coming to a close.

"So, if you hear this song

Pick up the phone

Send me a letter

and let me know that you're alright."

The music died down once again until only the keyboard was left playing softly in the back as Justin came in to finish the song.

"Because I need to know

for my own piece of mind

I still care for you." (song lyrics are borrowed from Jacqueline Ford)

As soon as the keyboard completely died out, so did the lights, and almost immediately the entire audience started clapping and screaming. If you asked me, it was probably the loudest they had been the whole night. In fact when the lights came back on, and Justin and Britney were still the only ones on stage, the clapping increased and so did the screaming. Justin and Britney even did an extra bow as the clapping continued.

"That was beautiful sweetie." I heard Lance say to Josh as he kissed him on the cheek.

"It had better be, cause I wrote it for you." Josh said as he smiled at his lover.

I saw Justin look to the side of the stage and see the exchange between Lance and Josh, and even though he couldn't hear the words, we were all able to see him smile at the two lovers. Looking back out at the audience, he said into the mike, "So did you like it?"

The audience continued their screaming.

"I guess that's a yes." Justin laughed slightly. "Do you want the rest of the guys to come out so we can finish our concert?" More screaming was his response.

"You guys can come out now." Justin said as he looked to the side of the stage and the rest of 'N Sync came out to finish their second set of songs. I completely zoned out while 'N Sync did their second set, the lyrics to JC's song not leaving me. For some reason, they had struck a chord in me I guess, and the loneliness they sang about mirrored mine. But while Justin and Britney sang about a loneliness that can never really be mended and forgotten, my reason for loneliness was staring me right in the face and I was too chicken shit to do anything about it. Well that was going to change right after we finished this concert.


The concert ended great, with the audience clapping and shouting till probably their voices and hands were raw. We said goodbye to the guys of 'N Sync and Britney as they went to their hotel, Lance's final reminder of "Just tell him." ringing in my ears as they left. I was planning on doing just that.

After rushing out to our own vans and getting on the road back to the hotel, I sat in the back with Brian and told him my plan. Brian agreed with me, saying that this might just be the confrontation Kevin needed. Brian whispered the plan to AJ and Howie as we came to the underground parking lot to the hotel.

Stepping out of the van, all five of us walked to the elevators, Kevin going at a slower pace than the rest of us. The elevator seemed to take forever as it ascended to our suite. But finally the bell rang and the doors opened, letting us out of the confined space.

AJ immediately went to his room, saying that he was gonna go call his girl friend Amanda, while Brian and Howie said they were going to their rooms to call their fiances. I just silently followed Kevin as he walked to his room, thankful that his was right across from mine.

Kevin opened the door, and I quickly stepped in after him, Kevin giving me a disgusted look as I did so. "What do you want? I don't want to talk to you."

"Yes you do Kev."

"No I don't. Just go away, alright." Kevin said as he collapsed onto his bed.

"Not until I say what I want to say." I said, staying right were me feet were planted.

Kevin sat up, giving me the coldest shoulder he could as he said, "And what would that be?"

The look Kevin gave me at that moment chilled me to the core, making me want to tuck tail and run, but I stayed where I was, not willing to give in. "...Kev I... I'm in love with you." I stated bluntly, not really knowing how else to say it, and just saying whatever came out of my mouth.

Kevin just stared at me with really big eyes. And then he started muttering, "No, no no no, I'm not gonna hurt you like I did Kyle. No no no." Literally a second later, Kevin jumped off the bed, pulled open the door and ran like the wind out of the suite.

I ran to the doorway to see which direction he had ran to, but he was gone.

What did he mean when he said he didn't want to hurt me like he did Kyle?

Lalala... read Chapter 11 to find out where KevyKev ran to. hehe

--Jess

Next: Chapter 11


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